[{"id":"1","title":"Death Flower","artist":"2","file":"Death_Flower.mp3","freemp3":"Death_Flower.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"If a tree falls down and nobody is around\r\nThen does it really make a sound\r\nBut if the mafia kills someone and doesn't get caught\r\nIs the person really dead?  I thought so\r\nIf the moon's made of cheese and there's a man in the moon\r\nIs the man in the moon made of cheese\r\nIf me, myself, and I, are all the same guy\r\nThen who are you?\r\nAll I do is get chickens, usin' all my blood for a milkshake\r\nMake a chocolate pizza save it up for an earthquake\r\nThis is all my life in my head, knock on wood\r\nPapa Smurf is gonna blow up Mr. Roger's Neighborhood\r\nAllow me to reiterate, or literary idiot\r\nReality went bye-bye, pretty colors always get with it\r\nCaboose got detached, parachute didn't open\r\nYou're dead, do you know what I mean?  He's so stupid\r\n\r\n(chorus)\r\nDeath Flowers in my lawn\r\nGrowin' out the back of my brain\r\nReality for me is all gone\r\nThe Death Flower made me totally insane\r\n\r\nMy big banjo keeps the break dancers all square\r\nOver hill over dale, Chip and Dale are over there\r\nWhat's the point, where's the beef, are you really that round?\r\nLet's put a hose in the ground, watch the gophers all drown\r\nOh Captain, my Captain, the ship's gonna blow, Jim\r\nDesperate for a rocket, notify my next of kin\r\nHow exactly do you go about kicking a balistic\r\nTry Unlucky Charms, they're magically sadistic","private":"0","comments":"Mindless ramblings of a blithering idiot.","ralink":"deathflower.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"1","cover":"dead-things-cover.jpg","url":"dead-things-can-rap-too"},{"id":"2","title":"Dice Dice Baby","artist":"2","file":"Dice_Dice_Baby.mp3","freemp3":"Dice_Dice_Baby.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"Ice Ice Baby\" by Vanilla Ice","backgroundcredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 4\";i:2;s:3:\" 38\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"[chorus]\r\nDice Dice Baby\r\nDice Dice Baby\r\n\r\nHe can't stop, can he be clean? Never\r\nDice is back and he's hornier than ever\r\nSteps to the mic but he don't say nothin'\r\nWhen he starts talking he still says nothin'\r\nWill he ever stop? Yo, I doubt it\r\nPeople gather 'round let me tell you about it\r\nSick, he'd be a genius, 'though\r\nIf his I.Q. was as big as his ego\r\nJokes, he doesn't know how to write 'em\r\nCan't write a one, but he knows how to bite 'em\r\nInsults, that's all he pours on\r\nThinks he's the best but he's dressed like a moron\r\nLight it and smoke it, he's gonna die soon\r\nWraps his arm around his head just like a baboon\r\nIf there's a dirty joke bet he knows it\r\nWatch his career as the Dice man blows it\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\n\r\nAlways huffin' and puffin'\r\nLike the Big Bad Wolf, but he ain't sayin' nothing\r\nNow that he's known he's no longer funny\r\nHarder to stop than the Energizer Bunny\r\nHates you, if you're not just like him\r\nBut I'd kill myself before I acted like him\r\nLife ain't fair, his head's real dense\r\nBut he's makin' money I'm not even makin' sense\r\nLeather, is all he wears\r\nWith his George Jetson snap-on hair\r\nWomen can't stand him, eMpTyV banned him\r\nWhat about his movie? It left him stranded\r\nMusic, hates songs like this one\r\nHe wears studs 'cause he thinks he's one\r\nHe'll insult you if he gets the chance\r\nHis fairy tales insult you're intellegence\r\nAll he talks about are girls in bikinis\r\nIn real life his girls wear beanies\r\nLive, he's more than rude\r\nSpice has a rhyme about Dice with an attitude\r\nIf he was funny it'd be different\r\nBut his tapes sound worse than the ones in his basement\r\nPosse, called Sudden Death\r\nI better hurry up 'cause I'm runnin' out of breath\r\nNo respect for anything\r\nDice is convinced he was born to be king\r\nBabble on and on, man, king of what?\r\nHis entire second tape is proof that he's nuts\r\nI wanna check him out when he turns 81\r\nWill he be the same with no hair and a big butt\r\nIf there's a dirty joke, bet he knows it\r\nWatch his career as the Dice man blows it\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\n\r\nTake heed, he's a comical monster\r\nDice is a man that does what he wants to\r\nFine, let him speak his wind\r\nIt'll keep him happy, out of our skin\r\n'Cause the man's like a new born baby\r\nCryin' and crappin', driving me crazy\r\nGive the man a pacifier, tell him it's a cigarrette\r\n'Cause if you don't, then he'll wanna get\r\nOn stage, and give you his routine\r\nTalk like a drug addict, walk like a chimpanzee\r\nGoodbye, go find your brain\r\nIf his life was a ring he'd throw it down the drain\r\nLost respect and he lost it fast\r\nMagnified by the fact that he has no class\r\nIf there's a dirty joke bet he knows it\r\nWatch his career as the Dice man blows it\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\n[chorus]","private":"0","comments":"Public's revenge for those who don't like Dice.","ralink":"dicedicebaby.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"Done","musicprogress":"Done","recordingprogress":"Done","datecompleted":"1991-11-21","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"1","cover":"dead-things-cover.jpg","url":"dead-things-can-rap-too"},{"id":"69","title":"Down With The Ship","artist":"2","file":"Down_With_The_Ship.mp3","freemp3":"Down_With_The_Ship.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:5:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";i:2;s:3:\" 37\";i:3;s:2:\" 4\";i:4;s:3:\" 38\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"We were all big Scatterbrain fans in high school and we had talked about doing a cover for years.  We finally broke down and did one.  Scatterbrain actually did three versions of this song (OK, one was by Ludichrist, which was most of the same guys) and they played bits of other rock songs throughout the song.  I chose samples of other rap songs that had something to do with the vocals.  On another note, this is the first song that I managed to get all five guys on since we recorded Bran back in 1994.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"7","cover":"fatal-accident-zone-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-accident-zone"},{"id":"70","title":"Ozzman","artist":"2","file":"Ozzman.mp3","freemp3":"Ozzman.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 32\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"Iron Man\" by Sir Mix-A-Lot","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";}","guests":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";i:1;s:3:\" 32\";}","lyrics":"You can come and see my band, as I command\r\nHeavy metal rhythms from a middle aged man\r\nSmack my doggies when they crap on the rug\r\nBut then I feel bad because I love that pug\r\nFor years I've peddled, hard rock metal\r\nGot a dozen lawsuits but I'm hoping to settle\r\nI go on tour, the fans want more\r\nI love to throw things at the people next door\r\nI got kids showing up at all hours of the night\r\nCan't stand it but I handle it and try to be polite\r\nGettin' old before my time thanks to Kelly and Jack\r\nArthritis in my knee and a crick in my back\r\nNow I'm back on the scene 'though some find it obscene\r\nI'll be rockin' like this till I rupture a spleen\r\nA lot of dummies get money in a sound-alike band\r\nBut nothing there can compare to the true Ozzman\r\n  \r\n                                          \r\nI hold the record in Guinnes for bat heads finished\r\nI'm finding new ways to mutilate the Queen's English\r\nMy son wears cammo, he wants live ammo\r\nI can't allow that or the house'll go kablammo\r\nI shave my stubble, I don't want trouble\r\nBut the prince of friggin' darkness doesn't need no damn bubbles\r\nLike where I reside? I'll be your tour guide\r\nI bought it for a song I wrote about suicide\r\nThe bad boy of rock, not to be mocked\r\nMove onto my block and you might get shocked\r\nWe might seem weird but that's part of the drill\r\nWe're sane compared to the rest of Beverly Hills\r\n\r\nWoah! Is that Ozzy?\r\nUh, huh huh huh. Ozzy's an old fart.\r\n(both laugh)\r\nYeah, heh heh. Woah, chick it out. A mini-Ozzy.\r\nHuh huh huh, yeah. He's a dork.\r\nYeah. Um. Hey Butthead. What's all that beeping? \r\nUh, I dunno. Maybe there's a truck backing up or something.\r\nYeah, heh heh. The Ozzmobile! Hehehe.\r\n(Batman theme) Du-nuh du-nuh du-nuh du-nuh \r\nDdu-nuh du-nuh du-nuh du-nuh Ozzy! \r\nDu-nuh du-nuh du-nuh...\r\nShut up, assmunch!\r\nHeh, hmm heh. Sorry 'bout that.\r\nBeavis, check it out! A chick!\r\nHm, cool! Uuuum. What's the matter with her hair?\r\nUh huh huh. Come to Butthead.\r\n(Both chant Iron Man riff.)\r\n  \r\nLong hair I'm brushin', we have a discussion\r\nAnd they bleep half the show 'cause we can't stop cussin'\r\nI crunch a quarter note, I sacrifice a goat\r\nI watch the weather channel 'cause I can't work the remote\r\nMTV paid it, our show's the highest rated\r\nAnna Nicole is just way too sedated\r\nBut sooner or later I'll need a translater\r\nMumble like Schwartzenegger in Terminator\r\nGuitar chord ripper, Perrier sipper\r\nWalk around the house in my fuzzy bunny slippers\r\nFlesh like leather, worn and weathered\r\nTake the blame a lot myself, but we're all in this together\r\nMy kids creations don't cause ovations\r\nThey don't have talent, but they have agents\r\nCritics wanna diss, fans don't wanna miss\r\nA lot of networks got a show but it ain't like this\r\n\r\nJack. Uh huh huh.","private":"0","comments":"We all knew Ozzy was strange, but when his show premiered on MTV we got to see just how strange things are in that messed up little world of his. Here's our little tribute to the self-proclaimed Prince Of F***in' Darkness.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2003-06-01","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"9","cover":"die-laughing-cover.jpg","url":"die-laughing"},{"id":"3","title":"Thump Music","artist":"2","file":"Thump_Music.mp3","freemp3":"Thump_Music.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"38\";i:1;s:3:\" 17\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"17\";}","lyrics":"Now what if rappers had to write their own music\r\nInstead of getting sampled stuff so they could use it\r\nOver a beat that's nothing but a bass drum\r\nOver and over making your ears numb\r\nThis is what happens when you sell out\r\nCan't take the pressure so you're gonna have to bail out\r\nFind a good beat so your song hits big\r\nThen use it over and over at the gig\r\nBounce up and down to the thump of the drum\r\nPay no regard that the lyrics are dumb\r\nDance at a club that smells like a dump\r\nYou just can't avoid it, go to a club all you hear is...\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nThump thump thump thump thump thump thump thump\r\nThump thump thump thump \r\n\r\nWritin' a hit nowadays is easy\r\nWrite about sex, but don't make it sleazy\r\nIt doesn't matter if it comes out corny\r\nAmerica won't admit it but it's horny\r\nAny kind of new cross-over will work\r\nEven if the M.C. sounds like a jerk\r\nAll the real rappers don't get any airplay\r\nThe public doesn't wanna hear what they have to say, \r\nall they wanna hear is...\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\n\r\nRap a couple lines and then sing\r\nAt every dance club it's the exact same thing\r\nI'm gettin' sick of everybody sellin' out\r\n'Cause they don't understand what the music's all about\r\nTurn on the radio and thump in your car\r\nThump musicians think they're gonna go far\r\nBut I hope the thump fad doesn't stick, 'cause I'm tellin' you\r\nI'm really gettin' sick of hearin' nothing on a beat but a...\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\n[chorus]","private":"0","comments":"What can I say? These songs have no meaning.","ralink":"thumpmusic.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"1","cover":"dead-things-cover.jpg","url":"dead-things-can-rap-too"},{"id":"4","title":"Necrophilia","artist":"2","file":"Necrophilia.mp3","freemp3":"Necrophilia.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 37\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 38\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Living in the dead zone, my foreplay\r\nTakes place in the land where cadavers decay\r\nEvery Friday night I go out to the necropolis\r\nAnd take my situation to the max and get on top of it\r\nPeople think I'm sick and I never deny it\r\nI just tell the people not to knock it till they try it\r\nBut nobody understands, they think I'm sick in the head\r\nJust because I am obsessed with making love to the dead\r\nI'm a necrophiliac\r\nI'm in love with the dead, no I'm not smokin' crack\r\nMy wife dropped dead just a couple years back\r\n\"'Til death do us part\" is a load of horse crap\r\nTake it from me 'cause we're still in love\r\nGot an everlasting blessing from the Man up above\r\nMy wife is the best, she makes me feel dizzy\r\nMe and the corpse are gonna get busy\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nWham! Bam! Thank you ma'am\r\nThose underground are the best in the land\r\nWham! Bam! Thank you ma'am\r\nIf the dead can't do it, no one can\r\n\r\nDead things rule, I mean nothing goes wrong\r\nMan I never hear complaints about how big or how long\r\nMany people think it's sick just because the body's cold\r\nBut I love bein' the one in total control\r\nShe never talks back, she doesn't even say no\r\nShe doesn't care if I'm diggin' her up fast or slow\r\nAnd girls if you're looking for the man of your dreams\r\nYou can dig him up anywhere and I guarantee\r\nThat he'll be hard, but now back to me\r\nThe thing I like about it is so easy to see\r\nI can go anywhere and I'll always have a date\r\nShe's all I ever wanted and she never comes late\r\nBirth control, don't need none of those things\r\nDead things can't reproduce more dead things\r\nBones and rotting skin are nice to the touch\r\nAnd the worms and the maggots don't mind too much\r\nCadavers look cool when they're dressed up in charms\r\nJust as long as she doesn't fall apart in my arms\r\nIf you can't see it my way, don't give me flack\r\nCarcasses are sexy when they're flat on their back\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\n[chorus]","private":"0","comments":"This is what I do on weekends for entertainment.","ralink":"necrophilia.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 5\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"1","cover":"dead-things-cover.jpg","url":"dead-things-can-rap-too"},{"id":"5","title":"That's How I Like It","artist":"2","file":"Thats_How_I_Like_It.mp3","freemp3":"Thats_How_I_Like_It.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"That's how I like it, hardcore hip hop\r\nBassdrum kickin' so the party don't stop\r\nIn the music that you hear comin' out the box\r\nI want bass that growls and a rhythm that rocks\r\nI like a crowd that can really shout\r\nIf you like it get down, if you don't get out\r\n'Cause I'm here, and I wanna take control\r\nAnd I'm takin' back all the lyrics you stole\r\nStyle, I don't really have one\r\nI write what I like and I get the job done\r\nWith a hardcore rhyme that leads the pack\r\nGot the dance floor shakin' with the music 'cause\r\nThat's how I like it\r\n\r\nGet back, get out of my way\r\n'Cause foolin' with fools is a game I don't play\r\nBut some suckers still gang me thinkin' that I bend\r\nI knock 'em down, pick 'em up and then I beat 'em down again\r\nSpice is the name I was given\r\nAnd I got reputation for hardcore livin'\r\nPumpin' up the bass drum, shakin' my car\r\nGot a rhythm comin' in on the guitar because I like to rock hard\r\nNo sell out allowed\r\nMy only mission in life is to rock the crowd\r\nI work great under pressure, no man I ain't jokin'\r\nYou think you can beat me, what have you been smokin'\r\nEight years ago I began writin' rhymes\r\nI was ten years old when I wrote my first rhyme\r\nEight years later I've perfected the art\r\nAnd I'm here on stage cold tearin' it apart\r\nSpice is my name and Devo is my title\r\nI spend hours rehearsing for a rap recital\r\nMagic Mike mixed the music so the record sounds def\r\nGot my posse in effect backin' up what's left\r\nBozhead, Ace, Baksai Nok\r\nM.C. Squared and Piles all help me rock\r\nThat's the Dead Town posse from the Sudden Death crew\r\nWe're together for you're pleasure and we're doin' what we do\r\nBest, breakin' down a dope beat\r\nGot the dance floor shakin' so you gotta move your feet\r\nI cause a lot of damage and the damage shows\r\nIt's worse than Freddy Krueger pickin' your nose\r\nI'm not done\r\nI came here for one reason, that's to have fun\r\nWhile I was doin' mine people yellin' \"Go homeboy!\"\r\nWhile you were doin' yours they just yelled \"Go home!\"\r\nThat's what happens when the Devo Spice busts a rhyme\r\nWith rhythm and it's always on time\r\nSo prepare yourself, don't act like a slob\r\nWhile I keep the party rockin' and I finish the job\r\n\r\nSpice is an M.C., get my gist\r\nBet you never heard a white boy rap like this\r\nBut now that you heard me, how do I compare\r\nI'm a white boy from Trumbull, sportin' red hair\r\nYou think that I'm a sucker, you give me no respect\r\nYou can call me what you want but don't call me collect\r\nI don't care, I'm only here to rap to the cut\r\nYou wanna try to battle me, suck my what?\r\nPeople in the audience seldom get enough of me\r\nMakin' suckers into dead bodies is my specialty\r\nThis is an example of the way that I rap\r\nAnd I do it like this every day because that's how I like it\r\nWhen I plan my attack\r\nI come prepared, never scared, and I'm always on track\r\nDevo Spice, the main rap contender\r\nPuttin' thoughts into words forcin' others to surrender\r\nPeople often think I can't do what I can\r\nI look like this because that's who I am\r\nDon't like what you see better close your eyes\r\nIf you thought I was a sucker then you're in for a surprise\r\nDevo Spice M.D., M.D. stands for Majorly Demented\r\nI write my own rhymes, I don't steal them or rent them\r\nBust a rap and disappear\r\nThat's it for me homies, peace, and I'm outta here","private":"0","comments":"Written for a rap contest which I lost because the winner- M.C. Loud- was cute!","ralink":"thatshowilikeit.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 5\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"1","cover":"dead-things-cover.jpg","url":"dead-things-can-rap-too"},{"id":"6","title":"Pop Goes The Pimple","artist":"2","file":"Pop_Goes_The_Pimple.mp3","freemp3":"Pop_Goes_The_Pimple.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";}","parodyof":"\"Pop Goes The Weasel\" by 3rd Bass","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Pop goes the pop goes the oozin' of the pimple\r\nThe scar'll leave and artificial dimple\r\nYou got a face full of jelly like Smuckers\r\nI should have started PUSS, People Underminding Squeezin' Suckers\r\nSo we can make it known that you're a disgrace\r\nIt's '91, son, so do somethin' about your face\r\nSquirtin' glue out your face when goin' pop, pop pop\r\nPop goes the pimple has gotta stop, stop stop\r\nWhy not take your face by the section\r\nRip the skin off and kill your complexion\r\nI guess it's the fact that you really like pushin'\r\nWhat used to be a face is now a pin cushion\r\nI got a clean face it doesn't have to be picked at\r\nAnd I can tell you I got nothin' on my back\r\nSo to someone this may seem simple\r\nBut to someone else it's the invasion of the pimples, the pimples\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nPop pop goes the pimple, the pimple\r\nPop pop goes the pimple, the pimple\r\nPop pop goes the pimple, the pimple\r\nPop goes the pimple 'cause the pimple goes pop (repeat)\r\n\r\nHead flesh, turned into a red mess\r\nThe second you squeezed it and I know it ain't painless\r\nBut don't rely on skill that makes it spill in the sink\r\nLet no one forget about the Clearasil\r\nNow in '91 we got a lot of brands that lend a hand\r\nClearin' up whatever they can\r\nAlthough the commercials are worse they won't leave any scars\r\nAnd you face won't look like the planet Mars\r\nWhy do we get zits in one place\r\nAppearin' in a structure that looks like a constellation\r\nThe Stridex gets put off until later\r\nThen boom you get a face full of craters\r\nHeed the warning when it spills you'd better clean it up\r\nIt splatterd so much to get it all you'll need a moop\r\nBlack and white heads together in the ripple\r\nIt's the pimple, it's the pimple, pop goes the pimple\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\n\r\nYou found another pimple then you squeezed it, you squeezed it\r\nIt splattered on the mirror then you squeezed it, you squeezed it\r\nFound one you couldn't pop and so you teased it, you teased it\r\nAnd now it hurts so bad that you appease it\r\nBustin' zits you got pus but not clearer\r\nAnd hit the four corners of the mirror\r\nEveryone from Germans, to kids named Herman\r\nDoin' crazy damage to your upper epidermis\r\nFrustrated so you wanna just gang bang\r\nYou ain't quick enough to catch up with the acne chain gang\r\nYou don't believe this, you got another huge cyst\r\nYou ever heard of a Dermatologist?\r\nA spelunker on your face could give tours\r\nHey do, Devo Spice, rip your face, pop some of your\r\nGo for your own, stay away from mine\r\nDon't eat so much chocolate and maybe you'll find\r\nWhen these go away you may not get so many more\r\nGet in the car I'm gonna take you to a drug store\r\nYou got pimples that spread like cancer\r\nMaybe plastic surgery is the answer\r\nBut burstin' is the fate that you've chosen\r\nBlowin' up like a nuclear explosion\r\nKeep squeezin' if you wanna be a cripple\r\nNo stoppin' 'cause pop goes the pimple\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\n[chorus]","private":"0","comments":"This is a parody that was begging to exist.","ralink":"popgoesthepimple.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"1","cover":"dead-things-cover.jpg","url":"dead-things-can-rap-too"},{"id":"7","title":"Inflatable Love","artist":"2","file":"Inflatable_Love.mp3","freemp3":"Inflatable_Love.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Filet Mignon, by candlelight\r\nNear the fireplace so late at night\r\nSoft music in the back and the record don't skip\r\nGonna serve you like a waiter but I don't want a tip\r\nYou're so beautiful in every way\r\nI'm just surprised that you don't have more to say\r\nBut wait what's that noise? It's like a whistle, it's weak\r\nNo, it can't be true, my girlfriend has a leak\r\n\r\nMy inflatable love\r\nMy inflatable love\r\n\r\nYou're my inflatable love, made in Japan\r\nWith a mouth wide enough to hold a soda can\r\nMade of the finest latex, girl you'll never grow old\r\nAnd I'll never have to worry about birth control\r\nBut there's something wrong, I can't believe you got a hole\r\nI gotta find it and fix it before our dinner gets cold\r\n'Cause I don't want to miss this chance to know you\r\nI'm gonna get my duct tape you'll feel as good as new\r\nPlease tell me where the hole is, before it's too late\r\nI'm in love with you girl, I don't want you to deflate\r\nAh, here it is I found it on your leg by the ingraving\r\nI'll just make it so you look like you cut yourself shaving\r\nNow I'll blow you back up, right back to normal size\r\nYou don't have to say thank you, I can see it in your eyes\r\nI've been waiting all my life for a girl like you, Ingrid\r\nSomeone the stork didn't bring, but UPS did\r\n\r\nMy inflatable love\r\n\r\nYou're so perfect for me, in everything that you do\r\nAnd now I know that I wanna spend my life with you\r\nWe can grow old together till we both look like prunes\r\nLet's run away and get married and raise some little balloons\r\nAnd girl I know you'll never even think of other men\r\nIs there someone outside? I heard that noise again\r\nThen someone barged in, he looked as mad as could be\r\nAnd her inflatable husband beat the crap out of me\r\n\r\nMy inflatable love","private":"0","comments":"The one true love of my life deflated on me.","ralink":"inflatablelove.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"1","cover":"dead-things-cover.jpg","url":"dead-things-can-rap-too"},{"id":"8","title":"Rhyme Master","artist":"2","file":"Rhyme_Master.mp3","freemp3":"Rhyme_Master.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"We started, fell apart, then we started it again\r\n'Cause my heart was still alive so I strived to comprehend\r\nWhy the songs seemed to die, before long the dream complied\r\nSo I tried and I chose, and I rose like the tide\r\nLong days and nights I put up a strong fight\r\nSecond sight all along made the song come out right\r\nI varied my style, being wild was my game\r\nMy songs never sound the same, always by the clever name\r\nWho's got the juice to try to fit inside my shoes?\r\nWho are you to spit the shit about the kid who's on the loose?\r\nGo ahead, what I said is that the rest are all dead\r\nWho's the best? Screw the rest, off my chest and in my head\r\nStrange, I'll never change, I'm irreversibly deranged\r\nIn the place the pace races in the bass cleff range\r\nEvery night the rhymes I write cause a lightning bolt disaster\r\nThat's the fight of being titled as a funky rhyme master\r\n\r\nFrom the Dead Town I said I get ahead with my sound\r\nIt's red, are you blind or just stupid as a clown\r\nBe warned I act calm, but like a bomb or a storm\r\nI destroy all their toys so the suckers can't form\r\nIf you tore me out before I hit it big with the hook\r\nThen you're chum I won't become, I'm not as dumb as I look\r\nBut I will still chill with the skill that's gonna kill\r\nAnd I build my own guild by givin' people a thrill\r\nStop where you are because my car'll plow you over\r\nNever stuck because my luck is like a four-leaf clover\r\nAddicted to the habit of the rhyme I gotta have it\r\nDon't grab it 'cause you can't have it back, silly rabbit\r\nEverybody's loud in the crowd at the jam\r\nPeople bowed all around because I'm proud of who I am\r\nThe next verse will be terse, but said a little faster\r\nI kick a little quick 'cause I'm a funky rhyme master\r\n\r\nKick the mechanics of rhythm so I always had people\r\nsmilin' before they came in\r\nThe idiot thought he could kick it with me\r\nbut I told him back off, 'cause he couldn't win\r\nRappin' like this is a talent I have that I\r\nuse for the pleasure of all of my friends\r\nThe posse is large I'm the one that's in charge\r\nand I keep the place jumpin' on through to the end\r\nNo one's exactly like me so I do what I do like it is\r\n'cause I am who I am\r\nImitate me and they laugh at the punk and they\r\nkick him off stage at the musical jam\r\nSuckers who try to keep me off the records all\r\nthink that I am such a musical bastard\r\nThink what you want, I know what I am\r\nI'm funkier now, I'm a lyrical master\r\n\r\nSo did you like what I did with the mic? Now I'm psyched\r\nTore the lid off the kid who denied it that he liked\r\nHow I stole the show, with my magical control\r\nOf the room with my sonic bass boom in my soul\r\nBass is the case that controls the rat race\r\nOf the industry that makes us deface the whole place\r\nLike a monster on the prowl the bassline is gonna growl\r\nPeople howl like an owl, I'll never throw in the towel\r\nWhat's the magic word, now it's totally absurd\r\nA nut didn't like my cut so he flipped me the bird\r\nIf you missed how I dissed the sucker let me just say\r\nThat he remained in pain for the remainder of the day\r\nNow I'm on top I won't stop till I drop\r\nBut I have to 'cause I'm after this dude who called the cops\r\nAnd when I catch him, you betcha that his face is mince meat\r\n'Cause the dude was so rude to try to stop the beat\r\nChillin' on a roll I fly right through the toll\r\nI stole your soul with my lyrical control\r\nSo if you don't wish to end up like a stiff\r\nKeep a stiff upper lip and then skip the riff\r\nBig shot is what you gotta think you are\r\nFace the facts you're just wack you're never gonna go far\r\nYou're gonna lose 'cause you choose to take a cruise for a bruise\r\nAnd you refuse to pay respect so you're gonna pay your dues\r\nTrust me, you're busted, you're rotten through and rusted\r\nYou're loud, you act proud, and the crowd'll leave you dusted\r\nIt's people like you that give the biz a bad name\r\nYou think you're cool when you make your own rules to the game\r\nDevo Spice rocks the mic, cold as ice, every night\r\nSudden Death backs me up so I cut it up right\r\nMy bassline attacks and always cracks the plaster\r\nWhat else can I say? I'm a funky rhyme master","private":"0","comments":"Performed at my senior prom, May '91.  No reason.","ralink":"rhymemaster.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"1","cover":"dead-things-cover.jpg","url":"dead-things-can-rap-too"},{"id":"9","title":"Dead Rubber Chickens","artist":"2","file":"Dead_Rubber_Chickens.mp3","freemp3":"Dead_Rubber_Chickens.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 38\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Are you ready for the terror of a lifetime\r\nLock all your windows, stay in the house at night time\r\nComin' to your home from the sewers\r\nThey came from outter space and they're bouncing to a town near yours\r\nThis is the attack of the chickens\r\nThey've been here for years, but we didn't know we were with 'em\r\nMaybe now they might just understand\r\nThat the chickens are the cause of the problems in this glorious land\r\nDiscovered by a doctor in Brazil\r\nThey might make you sick or they might just kill\r\nSo face it, it's true\r\nAs reported by the National Enquirer direct to you\r\n\r\nIt's the attack of the dead rubber chickens\r\nYou can't get rid of 'em you can't live with 'em\r\nBlame everything on the dead rubber chickens\r\n'Cause this time it's them who'll do the finger lickin'\r\n\r\nTry not to acknowledge that you know\r\n'Cause if they find out they'll peck out your eyes real slow\r\nBe happy that the chickens never flew\r\n'Cause as it is now they're tryin' to take over the home of Frank Purdue\r\nTake a look around you won't see 'em\r\nBut the next time your car breaks down you can blame 'em, \r\nknow what I mean\r\nThe White House keeps 'em on as a guide\r\n'Cause they think that if they step outta line \r\nthey'll just make Kentucky Fried\r\nBut the truth couldn't be so bent\r\n'Cause the chickens now control this nation's government\r\nThey're monsters, they're dead\r\nIf you see 'em don't get too close they'll peck off your head\r\n\r\nIt's the attack of the dead rubber chickens\r\nEveryday they grow stronger and the rubber plot thickens\r\nBlame everything on the dead rubber chickens\r\nThey'll stick to your family like a booger you've been flickin'\r\n\r\nThe chickens are controlling Mr. Rogers\r\nAnd they're forming their own baseball team called the Tobasco Dodgers\r\nKing of sell-out rap and rock\r\nThey're the masterminds behind the sucess of the \r\nNew Kids On The Block\r\nThat's an example of their power\r\nThey're small and yellow, but they make the powerful cower\r\nThe day of the chickens has come\r\nAnd it's time we faught 'em instead of runnin' around like bums\r\nGet 'em now because more are coming\r\nMaybe we can turn 'em into condoms or something\r\nThis is it, their pen\r\nThe National Enquirer says that they're coming back again\r\n\r\nThe attack of the dead rubber chickens\r\nThey clog your toilet and blow up your kitchen\r\nBlame everything on the dead rubber chickens\r\nServe 'em on a platter with all the fixens","private":"0","comments":"Don't ask, it just happened.","ralink":"deadrubberchickens.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 5\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"1","cover":"dead-things-cover.jpg","url":"dead-things-can-rap-too"},{"id":"10","title":"Hair Club","artist":"2","file":"Hair_Club.mp3","freemp3":"Hair_Club.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Pain supreme, keep the open cut clean\r\nBut only where there's hair otherwise it doesn't count\r\nBut even if there's not an open cut anywhere\r\nPut a band-aid on, pull it slow and shout\r\nEyebrows seem to be one of the best\r\nOr if you got a hairy chest slap one on there too\r\nThen peel it off, nice and slow\r\nIt's a whole new experience every time you do\r\nIt's a rush of pain, all through your head\r\nYou shout and scream like you know karate\r\nThis is a song for people who enjoy\r\nRippin' band-aids off hairy parts of your body\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nSo join the Hair Club\r\nRip it off\r\nC'mon join the Hair Club\r\nRip it off\r\n\r\nWhen you're alone in your house and there's nothing to do\r\nThe medicine cabinet holds all the fun\r\nCall up your friends grab a stack of band-aids\r\nYou'll thank me for this when the fun's begun\r\nWhen you first start doing this\r\nHair on your arms and legs will do just fine\r\nBut when you feel that it's time to move on\r\nA beard and a moustache will blow your mind\r\nThis is an experience you'll never forget\r\nIt soon will set your mind at ease\r\nAnd if you feel like becoming an artist\r\nNasal hairs are a masterpiece\r\nGive it a try you got nothing to lose\r\nEven if you're embarrassed don't be scared to blush\r\nTear it on off, slow or fast\r\nUnderarm hair is a hell of a rush\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\n\r\nGive it some time and I'm sure you'll meet\r\nPeople who enjoy ripping band-aids off\r\nThey're very laid back worked out frustration\r\nThey're always clean shaven and their skin is soft\r\nOther people think that they're all masochists\r\nBut it's no different then using Epilady\r\nI beg to differ from the popular opinion\r\nI'm sane, it's the rest of the world who's crazy\r\nBand-aids here shove a band-aid there\r\nShove a band-aid anywhere it'll fit\r\nAnd the final step, for experts only\r\nPubic hair is the ultimate\r\n\r\n[chorus]","private":"0","comments":"I feel people who enjoy ripping band-aids off of hairy parts of their body should have a song to call their own.","ralink":"hairclub.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"1","cover":"dead-things-cover.jpg","url":"dead-things-can-rap-too"},{"id":"11","title":"Things That Make You Go...","artist":"2","file":"Things_That_Make_You_Go....mp3","freemp3":"Things_That_Make_You_Go....mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"24\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"24\";}","lyrics":"Things That Make You Go...\r\n\r\nI was at a club, sittin' with my friends\r\nWatchin' all the girls as they walked on through\r\nShe came from behind put her hands on my eyes\r\nIn a very soft voice, she said \"guess who\"\r\nI didn't have a clue, didn't recognize the voice\r\nHer fingers seemed wrinkled so I did my only choice\r\nI turned around slow and opened my eyes\r\nAnd nothing could have ever prepared my for the surprise\r\nShe said \"I'm a walking sex machine\"\r\nBut the ho was no younger than 73\r\nFlabby grandma breasts hanging down to her waist\r\nCellulite flappin' all over the place\r\nSportin' spandex shorts bright pink and green\r\nShe sat on my lap and broke my knee\r\nShe breathed in my face and my lunch came up\r\nShe's sickening\r\n\r\nThings That Make You Go...\r\n\r\nHere's what I ordered, started the horror\r\nIn some restaurant south of the border\r\nChicken and rice with a little bit of spice\r\nThey made it sound good but it looked like wood\r\nCut into the chicken, thought it was fried\r\nMaggotts came out and my appetite died\r\nThe U.F.O.'s were served in sets\r\nThose are Undigestible Frying Objects\r\nThe rice was plastic flavored with bugs\r\nSoda was nothing but carbonated blood\r\nI thought maybe the salad would be safe\r\nBut the skunk cabbage gave it a terrible taste\r\nAnd the chocolate pudding, I don't know how made it\r\nI know what it looked like, I don't wanna say it\r\nThe food tasted better as it came back up\r\n\r\nThings That Make You Go...\r\n\r\nMe and a friend went out to see a film\r\nA good horror flick with a lot of kills\r\nAll night horror man I love that stuff\r\nBut I didn't know my friend would take it so rough\r\nSeven bucks some soda and food\r\nI was in a pure intense gore mood\r\nThe movie started, man I couldn't wait\r\nPeople were dying left and right it was great\r\nTime went by and the body count grew\r\nMy friend just didn't know what to do\r\nMy boy kept telling me, \"Yo, I feel sick\r\nI better get out of this theater quick\"\r\nI said \"calm down, I know you'll be fine\"\r\nSo I was wrong, I couldn't read his mind\r\nThe look on his face said vomit was near\r\nHe said \"I never should have watched...\"\r\n\r\nThings That Make You Go...\r\n\r\nHey ladies, have you ever seen a guy\r\nWho's ugly as sin and you don't know why\r\nBut he kisses your lips and he says \"hey toots\"\r\nAnd now you feel as bad as he looks\r\nAnd then he's there with zits on his face\r\nSo many in fact that skin is a waste\r\nHe talks to you like there's nothing wrong\r\nBut then he pops 'em and the pus flies long\r\nMysterious smells just materialize\r\nYour lungs implode and there's tears in your eyes\r\nIt ain't no use for you to plug your nose\r\nI wonder who farted when the elevator closed\r\nDressed to express but he looks like a geek\r\nAnd he hasn't showered in three or four weeks\r\nYou come home late and throw up in the sink\r\n\r\nThings That Make You Go...","private":"0","comments":"Beware!  These are real problems.","ralink":"thingsthatmakeyougo.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"1","cover":"dead-things-cover.jpg","url":"dead-things-can-rap-too"},{"id":"12","title":"I'm Bored","artist":"2","file":"Im_Bored.mp3","freemp3":"Im_Bored.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 38\";i:2;s:3:\" 21\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 38\";i:2;s:3:\" 21\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"21\";}","lyrics":"Get dragged to places I don't wanna go\r\nI stand around all day and then you know\r\nI fall alseep standing up and hit my face on the floor\r\nI'm bored\r\n\r\nSitting in a place I don't wanna be\r\nWhy in the world does this happen to me\r\nOh wow, oh gosh, oh golly gee\r\nI'm bored\r\n\r\nMy blood pressure is at an all time low\r\nMy relation with my neighbor is status quo\r\nThere's nothing left to do but watch the grass grow\r\nI'm bored\r\n\r\nI'm bored, I'm bored, oh yes indeed\r\nI'm bored, I'm bored, now can't you see\r\nMy life is filled with misery\r\nI'm bored\r\n\r\nI shoot down flies with a B.B. gun\r\nI spend my spare time playing chess with a nun\r\nTime sure flies when you're having fun\r\nI'm bored\r\n\r\nI sneezed and my hand got covered in goo\r\nSo now I can't do the German Boogaloo\r\nOK homebody, now what are we gonna do\r\nI'm bored\r\n\r\nI'll stand on my head and play with my toes\r\nBuild a jigsaw puzzle from Cheerios\r\nUse a needle and thread to pick my nose\r\nI'm bored\r\n\r\nI'm bored, I'm bored, can't think of no lines\r\nI'm bored, I'm bored, can't think of no rhymes\r\nSo I'll just sit around and waste some more time\r\nI'm bored","private":"0","comments":"Played on the Dr. Demento Show April 24, 1990.","ralink":"imbored.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"12","title":"I'm Bored","artist":"2","file":"Im_Bored.mp3","freemp3":"Im_Bored.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 38\";i:2;s:3:\" 21\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 38\";i:2;s:3:\" 21\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"21\";}","lyrics":"Get dragged to places I don't wanna go\r\nI stand around all day and then you know\r\nI fall alseep standing up and hit my face on the floor\r\nI'm bored\r\n\r\nSitting in a place I don't wanna be\r\nWhy in the world does this happen to me\r\nOh wow, oh gosh, oh golly gee\r\nI'm bored\r\n\r\nMy blood pressure is at an all time low\r\nMy relation with my neighbor is status quo\r\nThere's nothing left to do but watch the grass grow\r\nI'm bored\r\n\r\nI'm bored, I'm bored, oh yes indeed\r\nI'm bored, I'm bored, now can't you see\r\nMy life is filled with misery\r\nI'm bored\r\n\r\nI shoot down flies with a B.B. gun\r\nI spend my spare time playing chess with a nun\r\nTime sure flies when you're having fun\r\nI'm bored\r\n\r\nI sneezed and my hand got covered in goo\r\nSo now I can't do the German Boogaloo\r\nOK homebody, now what are we gonna do\r\nI'm bored\r\n\r\nI'll stand on my head and play with my toes\r\nBuild a jigsaw puzzle from Cheerios\r\nUse a needle and thread to pick my nose\r\nI'm bored\r\n\r\nI'm bored, I'm bored, can't think of no lines\r\nI'm bored, I'm bored, can't think of no rhymes\r\nSo I'll just sit around and waste some more time\r\nI'm bored","private":"0","comments":"Played on the Dr. Demento Show April 24, 1990.","ralink":"imbored.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"1","cover":"dead-things-cover.jpg","url":"dead-things-can-rap-too"},{"id":"13","title":"I Wanna Beat You Up","artist":"2","file":"I_Wanna_Beat_You_Up.mp3","freemp3":"I_Wanna_Beat_You_Up.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"I Wanna Sex You Up\" by Color Me Badd","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 22\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"22\";}","lyrics":"Step outside, take off your coat\r\nYou got me so mad I wanna slit your throat\r\nYou puked on my food spilled food on my tux\r\nAnd you take it out on me just because your life sucks\r\nI think you've had a little too much wine\r\nNow I dare you to step accross that line\r\nYou think that you're great, but you're such a faker\r\nSo now I think it's time that you meet your maker\r\n\r\nI'm gonna make you feel real bad\r\nI'll beat you so you'll never get up\r\nYour face will soon be part of the road\r\nAnd this is what I'll do\r\n\r\nI Wanna Beat You Up\r\nI Wanna Beat You Up\r\n\r\nYou spilled crap on all my clothes\r\nCome a little closer I'm-a break your nose\r\nI'll rip and tear you up limb by limb\r\nAnd the same to anybody who will try to help him\r\nYou had to push me just far enough\r\nThat talkin' won't work so I gotta act tough\r\nI'll knock your tongue down your throat so far\r\nThat the next words you say will come out as a fart\r\n\r\nI'm gonna make you feel real bad\r\nI'll beat you so you'll never get up\r\nYour face will soon be part of the road\r\nAnd this is what I'll do\r\n\r\nI Wanna Beat You Up\r\nI Wanna Beat You Up\r\n\r\nBeat your face in all night long\r\nI Wanna Beat You Up\r\nYou're such a wimp, no you're not strong\r\n\r\nI put my fist right through his head\r\nI Wanna Beat You Up\r\nCall the morgue, I think he's dead","private":"0","comments":"Inspired by hearing the original song 27 times on one night.","ralink":"iwannabeatyouup.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"1","cover":"dead-things-cover.jpg","url":"dead-things-can-rap-too"},{"id":"14","title":"Fortune Cookie","artist":"2","file":"Fortune_Cookie.mp3","freemp3":"Fortune_Cookie.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"If you liked this album, tell a friend.\r\nIf you didn't like this album, deny all knowledge of its existence.","private":"0","comments":"I had 2 minutes of tape left.  This fills it.","ralink":"fortunecookie.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"1","cover":"dead-things-cover.jpg","url":"dead-things-can-rap-too"},{"id":"15","title":"Intro","artist":"2","file":"Intro.mp3","freemp3":"Intro.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"Hi, how ya doin","ralink":"intro.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"2","cover":"noise-pollution-cover.jpg","url":"noise-pollution"},{"id":"16","title":"PMS","artist":"2","file":"PMS.mp3","freemp3":"PMS.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"O.P.P.\" by Naughty By Nature","backgroundcredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 38\";i:2;s:3:\" 14\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"14\";}","lyrics":"P.M.S., I just can't take it, it's like an earthquake\r\nIt takes over her emotions and then breaks it\r\nP is for Pre, M is for Menstrual intervening\r\nThe final S has a lot of different meanings\r\nThey call it Syndrome but the women say another thing\r\nThey often say that it stands for Suffering\r\nBut from a male point of view it seems that this will never quit\r\nWe say it simply stands for Shit, bust it\r\nYa ever met a girl you wanna take out on a date?\r\nYou get her name and number then go pick her up at 8\r\nYou both have fun so you don't want this night with her to end\r\nThen when it does you're makin' plans to go see her again\r\nYou're not expecting B to the I to the T to the C to the H\r\nBut when she opens up the door she slaps you in the face\r\n'Cause you were just a minute late she flips and thinks you're cheatin'\r\nLooks down at your groin then procedes to kick it\r\nHow many guys out there have been through what I just explained?\r\nYou're nice to her but go home in excruciating pain?\r\nWell if you have that's P.M.S. and you're now down with it\r\nBut if you haven't stay away from it\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nYa down wit' P.M.S.? Yeah you know us!\r\nYa down wit' P.M.S.? Yeah you know us!\r\nYa down wit' P.M.S.? Yeah you know us!\r\nWho's down wit' P.M.S.? Every last one of us!\r\n\r\nOften ladies with P.M.S go on a rampage\r\nYou bes' get out of their way before you get damaged\r\nBug it's normal, the calm that comes right before the storm\r\nJust like a werewolf, every month they transform\r\nI won't get into that, I'll play it sorta wise but\r\nYa know what bothers me? Hmmm, advertisements\r\nHere she comes again... (scream)... get the hell\r\nAway from me, now tell me exactly\r\nHave you ever watched a tv show you like and then an ad comes on\r\nYou're watchin' football and the ad is for a new tampon\r\nOr see a mother and a daughter say they feel fresh\r\nYou'd think the guy was havin' trouble with his P.M.S.\r\nDo these commercials hit their mark? Ya know I kinda doubt it\r\nWhen guys watch football, P.M.S., don't wanna hear about it\r\nIt's like the Hair Club ads you see on the Headbanger's Ball\r\nThe kids who watch that have got hair that stretches wall to wall\r\nIf you agree with me and are stick of this I wanna know\r\nSay \"P.M.S.\" (\"P.M.S!\") get off my TV show!\r\nNow when you say it say it loud and get your point accross\r\nYou're now down with a discharge\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\n\r\nLife, P.M.S. and me, I met a girlie who was sweet\r\nBut she turned me into pulvarized meat\r\nIt was the third time I saw her when all the trouble started\r\nShe tried to kill me in my very own apartment, bust it\r\nI don't know how it happened but she said I hurt her feelings\r\nAnd then the next thing that I knew she threw me through the ceiling\r\nShe grabbed a sledgehammer and then she came right after me\r\nShe made me feel liek the writer trapped in Misery\r\nI tried to leave but couldn't leave because of what she'd do\r\nShe dragged me up atop the stairs and down the stairs I flew\r\nShe said I shouldn't come to visit when she's P.M.S.-ed\r\nShe never told me when it happened so I missed my guess\r\nI didn't know this girl had cramps that didn't want to quit\r\nShe backed me up against the wall and then she hit and hit\r\nThat's rule #1 when this P.M.S. makes her a beast\r\nJust stay the hell away and you may get out in one piece\r\nPathetic isn't it I wish that I'd be missin' it\r\nBut I'm always at home when P.M.S. comes over visitin'\r\nThis is the way that it's always been\r\nOh my God here comes P.M.S. again\r\n\r\n[chorus]","private":"0","comments":"Just some experiences I","ralink":"pms.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";i:1;s:2:\" 5\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"2","cover":"noise-pollution-cover.jpg","url":"noise-pollution"},{"id":"17","title":"Killing Time","artist":"2","file":"Killing_Time.mp3","freemp3":"Killing_Time.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"I","ralink":"killingtime.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"2","cover":"noise-pollution-cover.jpg","url":"noise-pollution"},{"id":"18","title":"Flourishing Cactus","artist":"2","file":"Flourishing_Cactus.mp3","freemp3":"Flourishing_Cactus.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"I've been growin' my cactus since birth and I'll tell you that\r\nIt's even more fun to have than a Chia Pet\r\nFun's just begun, when I take it off the shelf\r\nI play with it with friends or when I'm by myself\r\nFlourishing nightly by the light of the full moon\r\nIt always stands erect when in full bloom\r\nMore powerful than the starship Enterprise\r\nTook it to a show and my cactus won a prize\r\nAll attempts to control it have been foiled\r\nI plant my cactus and it gets soiled\r\nGirls are impressed when they happen to come upon it\r\nAt night when I go to work I put a cover on it\r\n\r\nI got a cat and the pussy likes to play with it\r\nIf I keep up the good work she'sll stay with it\r\nI grow it for keeps but I know when I'm licked\r\nOne girl wasn't careful when she touched it and she got pricked\r\nBeware of my cactus when I turn it loose\r\nBut I know you're gonna love my cactus juice\r\nI've seen cactuses that have seen better days\r\nTake good care and it grows a little every day\r\nEven if you don't like me I would guess that\r\nWhen you see my cactus you're gonna be impressed\r\nI know it can suit your needs, can't it?\r\nDoesn't matter where it's always ready to be planted\r\nMy cactus is special so I wrote a poem\r\nIt's in a class by itself so it hangs alone\r\nIf you don't like the way I'm goin' at this\r\nYou can kick my ass, but please don't kick my cactus","private":"0","comments":"An innocent song about a plant.  Honest.  No, really, it is.","ralink":"flourishingcactus.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"2","cover":"noise-pollution-cover.jpg","url":"noise-pollution"},{"id":"19","title":"Dump","artist":"2","file":"Dump.mp3","freemp3":"Dump.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"Jump\" by Kris Kross","backgroundcredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 4\";i:2;s:3:\" 38\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"[chorus]\r\nDump! Dump! My bedroom is such a\r\nDump! Dump! I like livin' in a\r\nDump! Dump! I can't help it it's a\r\nDump! Dump! Uh-huh, uh-huh\r\n\r\nDon't try to compare this to another mess it's the best\r\nOf the trash, lots of class, livin' in junk and don't take nothin' less\r\nBecause I start, chart, rip and tear it apart\r\n'Cause I have taken the act made it into an art\r\nDon't try to come inside, 'cause you just might die\r\nSome old underwear everywhere you know why\r\n'Cause everything is piled up where the odor lurks\r\nTake one sniff and it's (choking to death)\r\nI beat the nation with pollution and my radiation\r\nMost people think that it's Hell, but this is my vacation\r\nPeople pass out in my room 'ause they can't breathe\r\nMost peple can't find the doorway so they never leave\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\n\r\nUh-huh the room's pungent, (pungent)\r\nI lock 'em up and use it as a dungeon (dungeon)\r\nthe D. E. V. O. S. P. I. C. E. Yeah you know me\r\nI got you gaspin' and passin' out and squirming all around, G\r\nIn the mess so many kids got lost\r\nI think they got burried underneith my dirty socks\r\nIn the back you find things that you can read about in Gorezone\r\nAnd like L.A. it has been turned into a war zone\r\nIn my room there's a floor I ain't never seen\r\nDon't feel sick, but I think my skin is turnin' green\r\nWhen I'm bored I count the dead bugs on the ceiling\r\nI'm tellin' you, man, nothing beats this feeling\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\n\r\nNow, my room is filled with this and that\r\nNo one knows for sure what happened to my cat\r\nAnd for all y'all suckers who still don't understand\r\nCheck it out...\r\nSome of them tried to clean it but they died whenever they tried\r\nSome of them tried to clean it but they died\r\nSome of them tried to clean it but they died whenever they tried\r\nSome of them tried to clean it but they died\r\n'Cause I love makin' a makin' a makin' a makin' a mess, baby\r\nI love makin' a makin' a makin' a makin' a mess\r\nI love makin' a makin' a makin' a makin' a mess, baby\r\nI love makin' a makin' a makin' a makin' a mess\r\nI'll make you're room a...\r\n\r\n[chorus]","private":"0","comments":"I hate cleaning my room.","ralink":"dump.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"2","cover":"noise-pollution-cover.jpg","url":"noise-pollution"},{"id":"20","title":"Hold On (To Your Lunch)","artist":"2","file":"Hold_On_(To_Your_Lunch).mp3","freemp3":"Hold_On_(To_Your_Lunch).mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";i:2;s:2:\" 4\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Hold on to your lunch 'cause the Sudden Death bunch\r\nIs buggin' in my basement comin' up with a crunch\r\nThat settles in your stomach runs it all around\r\nTill it spews out your mouth then spills on the ground\r\nCan't think of anything creative so we're wastin' our time\r\nComin' up with a rediculous rhyme\r\nWe're gonna make you neasous, that's the way we run our biz\r\nIt's comin' up my throat, here it comes...","private":"0","comments":"The one-take wonder.","ralink":"holdontoyourlunch.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"2","cover":"noise-pollution-cover.jpg","url":"noise-pollution"},{"id":"21","title":"The Adventures Of Mr. Long","artist":"2","file":"The_Adventures_Of_Mr._Long.mp3","freemp3":"The_Adventures_Of_Mr._Long.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Mr. Long is a man unique in his kind\r\nHe's a Chinese superhero in his own mind\r\nHe thinks he's a sex god, he rarely has a date\r\nMr. Long is a man traumatized by fate\r\nHis first name is Hung, with the last name Long\r\nI heard it, Hung Long, that may have to be a song\r\nPlease forgive me I ramble and I sound like a liar\r\nI'm just killing time while my clothes are in the drier\r\nPeople greet him nicely then they bite their tongue\r\n'Cause they all say the same thing, \"So, how are ya, Hung?\"\r\nWell, maybe they'll open their eyes\r\nAnd see Long is a man who needs to be lobotomizd\r\nHorny as hell and I know what's up\r\nHe loves to play games, I guess he never grew up\r\nRed Rover, Red Rover, nobody will bend over\r\nSo he plays another game called The Hunt For Miss October\r\nCompetitive at this, no contest, he'll win it\r\nHe should try out for a spot on the One Arm Olympics\r\nIf you wanna be like Long, for a game you're yearnin'\r\nJust drop your pants and do the Pee Wee Herman\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nFind a wife, get a life, do something\r\nYou're just wasting away, what more can I say\r\nYou're gettin' all excited over nothing\r\n\r\nHe's been dissed since the day he was born, it's a fact\r\nHis mother told the doctor \"He's not done, put him back\"\r\nHe got picked on by his girlfriend, wouldn't play the game\r\nI guess he didn't live up to his name\r\nHung Long has pick-up lines, he made up a few you bet\r\nBut a slap in the face is all he manages to get\r\nHe told a girl she's the boss and he's applying for a bit\r\nAnd did she have any openings that he could fit\r\nHe thinks he's Superman, it's gone to his head\r\nHe's faster than a speeding bullet when he's in bed\r\nOne girl almost married him, that's a fact\r\nBut when a gay lover sued, that was the end of that\r\nNowadays it's still not real in his brain\r\nHe has dreams of condoms breakin' from the strain\r\nHe had a blind date once, but his plans were spoiled\r\nHe thought she's look like Bo Derek, she turned out like Olive Oyl\r\nSo he doesn't do that anymore\r\nHe just makes his weekly trip to the corner store\r\nDoesn't worry about back talk or worry about a scuffle\r\nHe's perfectly safe doin' the old Knuckle Shuffle\r\n\r\n[chorus]","private":"0","comments":"Could make for an interesting comic book.","ralink":"theadventuresofmrlong.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"2","cover":"noise-pollution-cover.jpg","url":"noise-pollution"},{"id":"22","title":"Praying To The Porcelain God","artist":"2","file":"Praying_To_The_Porcelain_God.mp3","freemp3":"Praying_To_The_Porcelain_God.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 38\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"I'm here praying to the Porcelain God, oh my God I'm gonna puke\r\nWhat's the use, now my body's made of juice\r\nAnd it's all gonna fly out my mouth you know why\r\nBecause I drank too much, now I think I'm gonna die\r\nI'm on my hands and knees, now I'm praying\r\nWell, actually I'm vomiting, but listen to me saying\r\nThat I'm sick and I'm sorry, could you ever forgive\r\nI won't touch another drop if you just let me live\r\nHelp my soul great toilet bowl\r\nI've lost my stomach as well as control\r\nJust let me survive as I strive not to crush\r\nSo I can wipe away my troubles with one quick flush\r\nMy body is sore, I can't take anymore\r\nMy insides have spilled all over the floor\r\nPlease help me to be like I used to be\r\nGreat Porcelain God I beg of thee\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nPlease no more (no more)\r\nLet me make it through the night all right (all right)\r\nMy stomach has reached a new height\r\nPlease great Porcelain God no more (no more no more)\r\n(Kneel, Vomit, Flush)\r\n\r\nThis'll be my last if you change the past\r\nI got a gas overload I think I'm gonna explode\r\nNobody's perfect some of us are just sicker\r\nAnd you can't blame me if I can't hold my liquor\r\nIt was an honest mistake, I overdid the intake\r\nNow my stomach is rumblin' like a California earthquake\r\nThe act is done, I gotta face the truth\r\nI've become a living version of the Fountain Of Youth\r\nThis is a time that's appropriate for death\r\nI've succeeded in making one hell of a mess\r\nIn the stall, on the wall, there's nothing left to do\r\nFace down on the floor I pray to you\r\n\r\n[chorus]","private":"0","comments":"My roommate drank. My roommate puked. I wrote a song.","ralink":"prayingtotheporcelaingod.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"2","cover":"noise-pollution-cover.jpg","url":"noise-pollution"},{"id":"23","title":"My Doctor's A Quack","artist":"2","file":"My_Doctors_A_Quack.mp3","freemp3":"My_Doctors_A_Quack.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"Baby Got Back\" by Sir Mix-A-Lot","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"16\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"16\";}","lyrics":"I feel sick and I just might die\r\nAnd I honestly don't know why\r\nBut when my doc walked in with a huge seringe\r\nAnd a big grin on his face I passed out\r\nWhich doctor is mine? Then I learned the witch doctor is mine\r\nWhat in God's name am I wearin'?\r\nMy butt's stickin' out of the rear end\r\nOh my God, I wanna go back home\r\nAnd go to the bathroom\r\nMy homeboys came to visit\r\nThe doc saw my cut and then he kissed it\r\nA termometer he pulled out\r\nBut he doesn't wanna put it in my mouth\r\nI said back up! Back up! \r\n'Cause you ain't gonna shove it in my butt\r\nI feel much better now\r\nTo Hell with my medicine\r\nMy bed, lead! \r\nHe's poking me all over my head\r\nThe food is made of slime\r\nAnd it really should be a crime\r\nTake the average dinner and eat this stuff\r\nIt comes right back up\r\nSo cooks (yeah) cooks (yeah)\r\nDoes it taste better coming back up (hell yeah)\r\nMy doctor said eat it (eat it) eat it (eat it)\r\nIt'll make you feel alright\r\nDoc is a quack!\r\nMy doctor's a quack!\r\n\r\nThe nurse was big and round\r\nShe took up the whole town\r\nI just couldn't help it when I saw her\r\nMy puke went flyin', without even tryin'\r\nShe knocked me down on the floor\r\nThen \"Clear (zap) clear (zap)\"\r\nI ain't takin' those pills\r\nThat's birth control, or couldn't you tell\r\nThe doctor came to test my reflex\r\nBut there's no reflex in\r\nThe middle of my chin\r\nHe hit me and my mouth caved in\r\nI'm lookin' at all the other docs\r\nReputations solid as a rock\r\nWhy can't my Doc be smart\r\nI'm stuck with Groucho Marx\r\nSomebody get me some help please call a paramedic\r\nMy doc's pathetic\r\n'Cause he wants to drill a hole in my head\r\nI'm gonna scream till the break of dawn\r\nWhat's my life worth?\r\nHe thinks I'm gonna give birth\r\nThis guy wants to search my body cavity\r\nI'd rather be impaled on a fence\r\nI'm restrained, I'm in pain\r\nAnd my underwear's got a big stain\r\n\"Does this hurt?\" yeah \"Does this hurt?\" yeah\r\nAs he keeps on pokin' my gizzard\r\nHe said open up, say ahhhh\r\nThen he shoved the little stick in my eye\r\nDoc is a quack!\r\nMy doctor's a quack!\r\n\r\nThey wheel me around in a gernie\r\nI feel like I'm in Weekend At Bernie's\r\nBut Bernie never had to go through all of this torture\r\nWhich cost a fortune\r\nAll I want is to get out alive\r\nHe grabbed me and told me to cough\r\nBut he enjoyed it a little too much\r\nSome people think I should try to sue him\r\n'Cause my future's lookin' real grim\r\nHe cut me and enjoyed it\r\nI didn't move fast enough to avoid it\r\nHe wants to cut open my brain\r\nHe thinks it'll stop the pain\r\nBut I know that's wrong and I just can't fight it\r\nIt's Appendicitis\r\nA garden hose he shoved in me\r\nThis ain't no I.V.\r\nHe said he gave me a sedative\r\nBut I think he gave me a laxative\r\nThis knucklehead's really a chump\r\nAnd now I gotta take a dump\r\nI'm not sick somebody tell him\r\nIf I live through this I'm gonna kill him\r\nThis guy's really gettin' on my nerves\r\nHis treatment is for the birds\r\nSo shove his medicine back in his face\r\nAnd get me out of this place\r\nDoc is a quack!\r\nMy doctor's a quack!","private":"0","comments":"Not a true story, but who cares?","ralink":"mydoctorsaquack.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"2","cover":"noise-pollution-cover.jpg","url":"noise-pollution"},{"id":"24","title":"Pick It","artist":"2","file":"Pick_It.mp3","freemp3":"Pick_It.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"Wicked\" by Ice Cube","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"38\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"1, 2, 3, 4 fingers and I pick it\r\nPut my whole hand up my nose when I pick it\r\nOut, wave it about\r\nThen I just pass it around like a hand out\r\nPickin' runny snots, bloody clots\r\nThen throw 'em on the ground and connect the dots\r\nNeed 'em 'cause I eat 'em\r\nTake me to a starving country and feed 'em\r\n'Cause I just pick pick pick\r\nAnd then I start to lick lick lick\r\nIt's like an art form\r\nIf you wanna learn I'll teach it\r\nGot one up my nose but I'm never gonna reach it\r\n'Cause it just floats all around like a boat\r\nAnd it just fell down the back of my throat\r\nChokin' on a snot just gaggin'\r\nIt feels like it's as big as a dragon, a station wagon\r\nSo put on a plate and pass me the salt\r\nAnd I'll ingest it like a chocolate malt\r\nLike it, dig it, yup\r\nI keep on diggin' my finger and lickin', 'cause...\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nI love to pick it\r\nMy finger goes diggin' up my nose\r\nThen I flick it\r\nA flick of the wrist and hey there it goes\r\nOr I like it\r\nI like to stick my tongue up my nose\r\nMe never gettin' hungry 'cause me always have those\r\n\r\nYes I'm a nose hair wrecker\r\nGot me a plan to set the new world record\r\nDo you know what I mean?\r\nGot a huge pile that's lumpy and green\r\nSticky thumb, sticky finger, sticky clothes\r\nNever seen with a runny nose\r\nSave in the back for a snack\r\nTake a step back, this one's as big as a cow\r\n'Nam, use it just like napalm\r\nTrick ya, then stick a little booger\r\nIn your piece of pizza, then watch you eat it\r\nDig it out till it's closed out\r\nYup, people always get sick 'cause they're grossed out\r\nDon't care if you're sick\r\nI'll just dig with a shovel and a pick\r\nSleep, snore, dream\r\nYou know what I'll do I'll dig up your nose too\r\nSometimes other people's boogers taste better\r\nWhen I pick it, lick it, so I'll just pick it\r\n[chorus]\r\n\r\nPeople wanna know what for\r\nI got a snot and my mouth is beginning to water\r\nNo there just ain't no stoppin'\r\nOrder out for pizza and use it as a topping\r\nNothing quite like it when it melts on the cheese\r\nMom can I have some more, please, please?\r\nThe crusty ones are hard to bite\r\nA horse has snots but they don't taste right\r\nYou really gotta try this I know you're gonna love this\r\nBut if you've never done this\r\nHere's some cooking tips\r\nGround 'em all up and put 'em in a mix\r\nThen boil a pot full of water\r\nIf you haven't tried it you oughtta\r\nThen add some salt, just a dash\r\nPut it in a dish and begin to, uh, mash\r\nServe it on a plate, it tastes great\r\nAnd it works as bait\r\nI'm the pickin' chef\r\nAnd the restaurant critics dig it\r\nSo I'll just pick it\r\n[chorus]","private":"0","comments":"Ever get the munchies and there","ralink":"pickit.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"2","cover":"noise-pollution-cover.jpg","url":"noise-pollution"},{"id":"25","title":"Wedgies","artist":"2","file":"Wedgies.mp3","freemp3":"Wedgies.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 19\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 4\";i:2;s:3:\" 38\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Fruit of the Loom, Calvin Klein\r\nNo matter what the underwear goes up your behind\r\nBuy what size you want, the underwear don't stop\r\nClimin' up your butt for an embarrassing time\r\nIt's called a wedgie, and there's nothing you can do\r\nBecause the power of the wedge overpowers you\r\nIt's a magical force that pulls your underwear up\r\nGet a wedgie and walkin' is tough\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nIt's a magical force that nobody understands\r\nIt's a universal threat to your mind\r\nYour voice gets hoarse and there's sweat in your hands\r\nAs the wedgie goes up your behind\r\nGuard your back give a warning to your friends\r\nDon't try livin' life on the edge\r\nWatch out for the attack, it's a powerful trend\r\nIt's the magical force of the wedge\r\n\r\nSome call it sick some call it obscene\r\nYou can see his butt-crack right through the dude's jeans\r\nI don't know which is worse, a wedge up their back\r\nOr when they bend over, carpenter crack\r\nIt's a form of torture for nerds of all sorts\r\nJust lift 'em in the air by the back of their shorts\r\nI bought a couple pairs from a Star Trek store\r\nAnd they boldly went where they've never gone before\r\nOnce they go up they feel like plastic\r\nTime turns 'em into swiss cheese with an elastic\r\nIt won't be long, in fact it's quite soon\r\nYou can keep your pants on and still chuck a full moon\r\nEverybody gets 'em, everybody picks 'em\r\nEverybody hates it when their underwear tricks 'em\r\nSome poeple pick wedgies discretely, some bold\r\nSome poeple look like they're diggin' for gold\r\n\r\n[chorus]","private":"0","comments":"The real reason this country","ralink":"wedgies.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";i:1;s:2:\" 5\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"2","cover":"noise-pollution-cover.jpg","url":"noise-pollution"},{"id":"26","title":"It Sucks To Be You","artist":"2","file":"It_Sucks_To_Be_You.mp3","freemp3":"It_Sucks_To_Be_You.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"God damn, why don't you get a life\r\nI know beauty is only skin deep, you're right\r\nBut ugly goes down to the bone\r\nSo how's your love life, still holdin' your own?\r\nYa know I just saved your rear\r\nI killed a shit eatin' dog on the way over here\r\nDon't get embarrassed, no need to blush\r\nBut you're so full of shit that the toilet won't flush\r\nWhat's that stuff comin' out of your toes\r\nYo, you got a big green thing on the end of your nose\r\nAs for looks you're a gonner\r\nSo ugly no dog would ever want to piss on you\r\nThe I.Q. of a slug\r\nGot hit by a cup and said you got mugged\r\nAnd I really think it's funny\r\nThat you sold the car when you needed gas money\r\nYou're hopeless man, you ain't got no class\r\nSo fat it takes two trips just to haul ass\r\nAnd for your first kiss you had to beg\r\nCouldn't get laid if you were made like an egg\r\nAnd when's the last time you showered\r\nMan you smell like you died back in 1985\r\nI guess there's nothing I can do\r\nBut I tell you one thing, man, it must suck to be you\r\n\r\nWhen you were born the doctor slapped your mother\r\nAnd thought the afterbirth was gonna be your twin brother\r\nAnd you grew up broke\r\nAnd nobody fixed you so now you're a joke\r\nBecause you're just so wide\r\nThat when you walk down the street there ain't no other side\r\nAnd you were just outta luck\r\nWhen you jumped in the air and your ass got stuck\r\nTook a trip went to visit Japan\r\nAnd they thought Godzilla came back again\r\nYour house redefines the bad mess\r\nI can't believe that you failed your blood test\r\nI got some bad news for ya, don't cry\r\nI told your mom to act her age and the bitch died\r\nWhat diseases you got? Man I heard that\r\nDuring phone sex the hoes make you wear a jimmy hat\r\nNow I'm not trying to be rude\r\nBut you don't get crabs from eatin' sea food\r\nAnd if you wanna clean your ears, my God\r\nBuy some Q-Tips, quit usin' tampons\r\nYou don't sweat much for a fat bastard\r\nPut your car in drive and it might go faster\r\nGo play in traffic if you got nothing else to do\r\nDamn, it's really gotta suck to be you","private":"0","comments":"Dedicate this one to whoever you want.","ralink":"itsuckstobeyou.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"2","cover":"noise-pollution-cover.jpg","url":"noise-pollution"},{"id":"27","title":"Flatulent Baby","artist":"2","file":"Flatulent_Baby.mp3","freemp3":"Flatulent_Baby.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"Jinglin' Baby\" by L.L. Cool J","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"24\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"24\";}","lyrics":"I call you every day, we go out every night\r\nI hope we'll be together for the rest of our lives\r\nPeople spread gossip, just jealous I guess\r\nBecause the smell that you give off makes 'em choke to death\r\nYou eat baked beans and you've never been full\r\nBut you pour 'em down your mouth by the bucket full\r\nCheck out the way the bed sheets rise and fall\r\nThe strong gasses make cracks in the wall\r\nI didn't hear it but I smell it please turn on the fan\r\nAnd before you leave please flush the can\r\nOdorous emissions are the iceberg's tip\r\nIf you feel it buildin' up then just let it rip\r\nBut then oh no, I'll get the gas mask\r\nI tried to fumigate but it's an impossible task\r\nI've gotten used to it in fact I kinda like it when it's done\r\nNow, go ahead and cut another one\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nI'm flatulent baby\r\nGo ahead baby\r\n\r\nYou rip 'em and cut 'em like you're only made of gas\r\nA crowded movie theatre will empty out fast\r\nTaxi driver didn't let you get very far\r\nTook a little whiff, get out my car!\r\nI'm accostomed, but the rest of you\r\nIf the aroma's too much then I'll tell you what to do\r\nStand back, get as far away as you can\r\nOr you'll be hit with a smell that can level the land\r\nBaby's got back with a serious attack\r\nThat affects me just like an aphrodesiac\r\nIt's real bad, you'd better check your dirty drawers\r\nAnd the sound mistaken for a herd of wild boars\r\nI don't mind that my eyes are bloodshot\r\nI'm prepared, so give it all you got\r\nForget other body functions, this one's a trip\r\nYo baby, bend over and let it rip\r\n[chorus]\r\n\r\nWhen you first walked in you were beautiful no doubt\r\nBut that smell that came with you nearly knocked me out\r\nI tried to hold my breatch, I nearly choked to death\r\nStrugglin' for air, I had to call the EMS\r\nHow you gonna stay alive while you're inside and elevator\r\nI can't believe it, the gasses can't be fumigated\r\nWe go swimmin', I'm in a lot of trouble\r\nIt could be a hot tub 'cause there's so many bubbles\r\nYou go have fun I'm taking a vacation\r\n'Cause you've got the ultimate in constipation\r\nGirl yo, I love you but you smell bad\r\nAnd it drives me nuts\r\nKnockin' over houses while the owners run\r\nMan watchin' you fart is my main source of fun\r\nI've gotten used to it in fact I kinda like it when it's done\r\nNow, go ahead and cut another one\r\n[chorus]\r\n\r\nI can't believe you tried to breathe the same air as me\r\nThe fumes'll put a strain on your olfactory\r\nBad breath and body odor is what you're about\r\nEvery hole in your body has a stench coming out\r\nI hold my nose when you approach I suppose\r\nThat you ruined your clothes and can't breathe through your nose\r\nHold it in, you can't but you tried\r\nI can't help if you smell like somebody died\r\nPeople avoid you like you had the plague\r\nMy brother took a deep breath, that was a big mistake\r\nBarnum wanted you as a side show freak\r\nI'm gonna give you a cork to plug up the gas leak\r\nYou know I love you baby and you know I don't care\r\nThat you constantly smell like you burn your hair\r\nWhen you pass by and you pass your end\r\nThey say that limburger woman walked by again\r\nSo take a step back give me some room to breathe\r\nYou smell as if you got some kind of fatal disease\r\nOther men said they loved you but the smell made them liars\r\nNow go ahead and fart all your little heart desires\r\n[chorus]","private":"0","comments":"Some guys like blondes. Some guys like brunettes. This one is for the guys who like air polluting body functions.","ralink":"flatulentbaby.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"2","cover":"noise-pollution-cover.jpg","url":"noise-pollution"},{"id":"28","title":"(Toe)Jam","artist":"2","file":"(Toe)Jam.mp3","freemp3":"(Toe)Jam.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Lumpy, chunky, smells kinda funky\r\nAddicted to the sickness I'm a toe jam junkie\r\nPull it out your toes, not out of your behind\r\nToe cheese goes well with a fine wine\r\nStore it in a pickle jar, keep it in the pantry\r\nCollecting all your jam makes your house look fancy\r\nScam all your jam as you jam to the beat\r\nDig deep into your big pteradactyl feet\r\nAnd scrape it out, chisle, even polish it too\r\nToe jam, toe cheese, maybe even tofu\r\nTake the real thing, not the imitation scam\r\nGet into your feet and get into the jam","private":"0","comments":"Feel the beat, smell the feet.","ralink":"toejam.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"2","cover":"noise-pollution-cover.jpg","url":"noise-pollution"},{"id":"29","title":"Sleep Around","artist":"2","file":"Sleep_Around.mp3","freemp3":"Sleep_Around.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"Jump Around\" by House Of Pain","backgroundcredit":"a:4:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";i:2;s:2:\" 4\";i:3;s:3:\" 22\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"22\";}","lyrics":"Pump it up, stick it in, let me begin\r\nI came and went now I live a life of sin\r\nIt starts with the neighbor, she does me a favor\r\nCould go down the block, but I'm savin' some for later\r\nFind 'em, surprise 'em, tell the girl some lies then\r\nIf jimmy starts to rise then start lookin' at the thighs and\r\nIt doesn't matter where, she happens to be there\r\nDrawers everywhere, pungent odor in the air\r\nSkeezin', pleasin', hope there's no disease and\r\nHer hair up my nose causes uncontrolled sneezin'\r\nAll you gotta have is a hole and a heartbeat\r\nOn second thought, who needs a heartbeat?\r\nI came to get down, you came to get down\r\nSo get out your pants and sleep around\r\n[chorus]\r\nSleep around (3 x's)\r\nWake up get up and go down\r\nHump hump hump...\r\n\r\nI make a mess when I'm with somebody else\r\nIf the girlie says no I'm whackin' myself\r\nThe word on the street is that your momma likes meat\r\nSo I'm-a visit for a while see how much she likes me\r\nBut when it's your turn be careful not to get burned\r\nClap on clap off then you're all full of germs\r\n'Cause I'm not sick but she may not be in the same boat\r\nSo if you're gonna splash wear a raincoat\r\nBut if you wanna lose reality and live in a soap opera\r\nTake the first girl you see and then go bop her\r\nI don't mean to gloat, but when I rock the boat\r\nIt reaches up her body to the back of her throat\r\nI came to get down, you came to get down\r\nSo get out your pants and sleep around\r\n[chorus]\r\n\r\nI move in for the kill, I got a lot of skill\r\nI'll never do a pig 'cause I'm not beastial\r\nBut one ho was hairier than a Brittish Terrier\r\nThree's not a crowd, now I say the more the merrier\r\nBut I ain't goin' out on no date\r\nGet used to one position, yo I might switch ya\r\nUp, up on the wall, then back accross the floor\r\nPut out for me and you may wake up underneith the kitchen sink\r\nI'm lookin' for my whore, she's going to get sore\r\nKnockin' up girlies then goin' to get more\r\nI came to get down, you came to get down\r\nSo get out your pants and sleep around\r\n[chorus]","private":"0","comments":"I","ralink":"sleeparound.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"2","cover":"noise-pollution-cover.jpg","url":"noise-pollution"},{"id":"30","title":"Roadkill Lover","artist":"2","file":"Roadkill_Lover.mp3","freemp3":"Roadkill_Lover.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 20\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"20\";}","lyrics":"Look into my headlights, stand there frozen\r\nHit 'em and the impact of the car explodes 'em\r\nGizzards of lizzards decorate the road\r\nWhile amphibians create Road Toad A La Mode\r\nI can get drinks that aren't served in any bar\r\nWhenever I get hungry I just hop in my car\r\nAnd downshift, gun it, do you understand why?\r\nI got a craving for a little bit of Pit Bull Pot Pie\r\nWith just a dash of armadillo sauce\r\nThen I put it in reverse and go get the main course\r\nA cute, fuzzy, furry, little Irish Setter\r\nUnder glass is fine, but under tire is better\r\n\r\nNourishment\r\nAnimals are my selection\r\nPavement\r\nCooks 'em to a fine perfections\r\n\r\nCustomized car got spikes in the front\r\nTheir easier targets if you give 'em a blunt\r\nBut that's no challenge that makes liverwurst\r\nThey taste a lot better if you hunt them down first\r\nEat every part, nothing will make you sick\r\nYou can even eat every last flea and tick\r\nIt doesn't matter if the animal is still breathing\r\nThe pus and the mucus make very nice seasoning\r\nYou don't have to eat one critter at a time\r\nBits and pieces of all species can really taste fine\r\nI reccomend a squirrels intestines and lung\r\nWrapped in the stomach of a dog with its tongue\r\n\r\nWhat a thrill\r\nAutomotive necromany\r\nRoadkill\r\nHighway's own delicacy\r\n\r\nDinner is easier to find than you think\r\nAnd you'll always have animal's piss to drink\r\nSo you'll never go hungry, your lunch may move fast\r\nBut I guarantee you'll catch it if your car has any gas\r\nIf you kill something bigger than a deer where you are\r\nYou may have a little trouble getting it into your car\r\nFor that situation you're not out of luck\r\nYou can kill and eat a rhino if you get a tow truck\r\nI don't break I speed up for animals\r\nAnd all of you who think we're nothing but cannibals\r\nYou've all killed with your car at one time or another\r\nSo it doesn't take much to be a road kill lover","private":"0","comments":"Perhaps I overdid it a bit.  Oh well.","ralink":"roadkilllover.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"2","cover":"noise-pollution-cover.jpg","url":"noise-pollution"},{"id":"31","title":"Brain Dead","artist":"2","file":"Brain_Dead.mp3","freemp3":"Brain_Dead.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";}","musiccredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"I'm in a Brain Dead state now my mind is a blank slate \r\nThe matter in my head is as useful as a beefcake \r\nWalk around dazed for days at a time \r\nMy brain begins to smoke when I try to make a rhyme\r\nIf I think too hard then the thing falls apart \r\nAnd my friends like to pretend they're tinter toys so they start to \r\nPiece it back together any way that it'll fit \r\nAnd become the dead brain insane maniac, quittin' time\r\nBack for more like I've never done before\r\nMy insanity's contagious so I'm ragin' all the more\r\nNow I'm stuck here doin' things I think are weird \r\nLike ridin' into town on a horse like Paul Revere\r\nWhen the authorities come and my mental rage is done \r\nWhen my jacket gets tied in the back then the fun has just begun\r\nLet me cough up a lung, as I said \r\nThere ain't nothin' quite like bein' seriously brain dead  \r\n\r\nWell the beat flows in and goes out the other ear\r\nWhat I hear that remains get straind like a sieve \r\nSoul the only survivor to live \r\nMakin' another bad creation like my name was Biv \r\nGive me the time of day and I lose it in a second \r\nTo the abyss in my head ya know it's something to be recokned with \r\nLike Biff coming back from the future cuz I'm lost in time \r\nPay no attention cuz I got no mind \r\nGilligan's next of kin I'm a bumblin' fool \r\nWith no control of motor skills I'm prone to drown in my drool \r\nIn college got F's got no knowlege can't explain \r\nLike the Wiz's scarecrow because I haven't got a brain \r\nOh I can tell you why \r\nThe ocean's near the shore \r\nTo look smart I paint myself so I look well red \r\nDrinkin Drano can't explain oh I'm probably brain dead\r\n\r\nI hang around town with Grandpa Simpson \r\nI'm waitin' for my head to explode like Bill Plympton \r\nThen we can really have fun and go pick up the pieces\r\nAnd eat ","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"braindead.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"4","cover":"brain-dead-cover.jpg","url":"brain-dead"},{"id":"32","title":"Bran","artist":"2","file":"Bran.mp3","freemp3":"Bran.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"Slam\" by Onyx","backgroundcredit":"a:6:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";i:2;s:3:\" 37\";i:3;s:2:\" 4\";i:4;s:3:\" 38\";i:5;s:3:\" 22\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"22\";}","lyrics":"[chorus] \r\nBran! Duh-duh-duh, duh-duh-duh\r\nFor when you're stuck! \r\nBran! Duh-duh-duh, duh-duh-duh \r\nDiarrhea!!  \r\n\r\nC'mon have another one, then another one, eat all of 'em \r\nChoose one from the supermarket, there's a whole wall of 'em \r\nCereals with bran and fiber in 'em make you crap a lot \r\nIt makes your butt feel all slimy \r\nI'm-a show you how, c'mon all together now \r\nYeah, that's how it's gotta be \r\nCereals with bran and a lot of fiber in it \r\nIn your mouth out your rear, in a span of three minutes \r\nPrune juice, wash it down, clean you out fast \r\nPant's droppin', the floppin' and ploppin' splashin' your ass \r\nOnce it gets started, it just won't quit \r\nAnd then ulllgghhh, to big to fit \r\n98% of constipated people couldn't give a shit \r\nLittle bit problem isn't it what's fixin' it \r\nI got a plan, I'm the man sittin' on the can \r\nAll because I eat a lot of bran \r\n[chorus]  \r\n\r\nI'm-a sit here sittin' on the shitter in pain, oh \r\nThe only thing that cleans you out better is Drano \r\nBut you can't beat bran for it's raz-a-ma-taz \r\nMakes you \"ullgh-raptha-thbbb\" like my main man Taz \r\nIf one bowl doesn't work have one more \r\nAnd you won't be constipated any more \r\nBloated, loaded, you better be prepared \r\nIf not it'll feel like your lungs have imploded \r\nThe smell it makes me high, I desecrate the air \r\nBe there for a week and never come up for air \r\nMy crew, yup, my fans, yup, we all got plans \r\nTo be sittin' on the john with the tidy bowl man \r\nThe smell, the sound, it gets all around you.\r\nWe got enough toilet paper? I'm goin' for Round 2 \r\nFill it to the brim, I lost ten pounds \r\nYou run for your life before the smell tracks you down \r\n[chorus]  \r\n\r\nI'm the new king, sittin' on the porcelain throne \r\nHurry up and give me the damn plunger before this thing overflows \r\nTons of it in the potty, my body created \r\nGive some to the White House, they're all constipated \r\nStuff comes out my ass like it was Niagara Falls \r\nSo much of it falls that it splashes my balls \r\nAnd I, let it go so I [fart] um excuse me \r\nI started this nasty caper to create a toxic vapor \r\nFor that I give praise to the maker \r\n'Cause cereals now come with a free roll of toilet paper \r\nBut but but wait I see stars \r\nI'm so full of gas I could drive to Mars \r\nWhen I'm not on the can, I'm shoppin with my man \r\nBuyin' some cereals with fiber and, and [chorus]","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"bran.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";i:1;s:2:\" 5\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"4","cover":"brain-dead-cover.jpg","url":"brain-dead"},{"id":"33","title":"Let's Do It","artist":"2","file":"Lets_Do_It.mp3","freemp3":"Lets_Do_It.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"\"...and here's the hottest rap group since Vanilla Ice, \r\nhere's The Polar Bears singing 'Let's Do It'.\" \r\n\r\nHello baby, do you know me \r\nI'm the freshest MC that could ever be \r\nI'm MC Average Sellout Punk \r\nAnd I won't feed you a lot of junk \r\nI'll be good so good to you \r\nThere isn't anything I wouldn't do \r\nFor you baby doll \r\nLet's go home and get buck wild \r\nLet's do it \r\n\r\nI want you in bed next to me \r\nFor thirty-five seconds of ecstasy \r\nI'll buy you a drink, no I'm not cheap \r\nBut after I'm done I need my beauty sleep \r\nSo how does that sound to you my dear \r\nDo you understand? Am I clear? \r\nSo get in the bed for the motions \r\nThat are supercalifragilisticexpialodocious \r\nLet's do it \r\n\r\nRaw and hard like never before \r\nWhen I'm done you'll want more \r\nI know how to treat you right \r\nSo let's go have some fun tonight \r\nLet's do it","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"letsdoit.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"4","cover":"brain-dead-cover.jpg","url":"brain-dead"},{"id":"34","title":"Abby Normal","artist":"2","file":"Abby_Normal.mp3","freemp3":"Abby_Normal.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Well Tally ho! Yippy ki-yi-ya! Narf! Zort! \r\nLet's burn the ship and throw the kids overboard \r\nI'm bored (I'm bored) I need something to do \r\nHow 'bout we go free all the animals in the zoo \r\n[huh huh that would be cool] \r\nOr we could just sit here and drool \r\nI'm a fool, I dropped out of school at age three \r\nThen I chased my little brother up a tree, \r\nYa see I'm a twisted guy, fly six miles high \r\nLive in a pig sty, refuse to comply \r\nWith the safe, plain, cautious way to do things \r\nI found my puppet master and I cut all his strings \r\nAnd then I wrapped them tight around his throat \r\nBlew a hole in the castle, threw his ass in the moat \r\nNow I'm free [free!] free to reak havoc \r\nRun around foamin' at the mouth like I'm rabid \r\nBitin' everybody I'm near in the rear \r\nDo you see where I'm comin' from? Somewhere over here \r\nI'm out to have fun, this is how it's done \r\n[dum-ditty-ditty-dum, big, big fun]\r\n\r\nNormal is boring, same is mundane \r\nYou can't really have fun until you lose your brain \r\nSo rip it out through your nose or cut open your head \r\nAnd you'll be kinda like me [brain dead] \r\nKeep people confused make everybody guess \r\nForget V.E.G I'm down wit' P.M.S \r\nI go to bed, go insane, then I go into debt \r\nI do the Thorazine Shuffle","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"abbynormal.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"4","cover":"brain-dead-cover.jpg","url":"brain-dead"},{"id":"35","title":"Psycho Slut From Hell","artist":"2","file":"Psycho_Slut_From_Hell.mp3","freemp3":"Psycho_Slut_From_Hell.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"38\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"The girl has got a hole kinda like the Grand Canyon \r\nNo there ain't a jimmy that the jenny would abandon \r\nDoesn't matter, short, fat, thin, wide \r\nJumps up, spreads her legs, down, boom, what a ride \r\nGot a second pair of lips that flap in the breeze \r\nShe can stretch 'em from her hips on down to her knees \r\nThere's a hole in the middle of her panty hose \r\nAnd she found a new use for a garden hose \r\nDon't try to satisfy if you go to ram her  \r\nUnless you can compete with her new jackhammer \r\nI see her all around and her round behind \r\nIs always bouncin' up and down on anything she can find \r\nAny surface will do, no need for a bed \r\nEnough yeast infections to bake a loaf of bread \r\nHell hath no fury like her doggy style \r\nEver since she was a child she's been gettin' buck-wild \r\n\r\n\"Would you, could you, on a plane? \r\nWould you, could you, on a train? \r\nWould you, could you, on a boat? \r\nWould you, could you, with a goat?\".  \r\n\r\nIt's possible the girl is finally going to be happy \r\nI think she found a guy that can satisfy the nappy \r\nHer son will be proud to learn his father was valiant \r\nBut I bet he'll be upset when he learns he was a stallion \r\nMakes men out of boys, dogs, bananas and tadpoles \r\nStraddles fire hydrants and occasionally flagpoles \r\nTurns on when you abuse yourself \r\nIf you wanna get lucky introduce yourself \r\nAt the petting zoo she finds a lot more to do \r\nMore up and down movements than a kangaroo \r\nUnder rhinos and elephants, living or dead \r\nGave an ostrich a new place to bury his head \r\nFantasizing about the force of Yoda \r\nWhile sittin' on a two-liter bottle of soda \r\nSpreads her legs and kills people with the smell \r\nShe's a bona fide, certified, psycho slut from hell\r\n\r\nAfter years of abuse anything is gonna fit \r\nThe nappy dugout has turned into a bottomless pit \r\nOnce she's in place a crane can't move her \r\nShe rams like a truck and sucks like a Hoover \r\nGoin' at it strong since the age of nine \r\nNow she goes through men like an assembly line \r\nHomeboy's done and then, thank you, come again \r\nBack in ten minutes cause they're gonna have fun again \r\nMaine, California, everywhere between \r\nBeen nicknamed the All American Scream Machine \r\nThose with back and heart trouble shouldn't ride \r\nMake sure your lap bars are secured and tight \r\nShe's lookin' to get married to a guy who can thrill her \r\nYou know, someone who can rock like Godzilla  \r\nThis week's contestants have lined up behind her \r\nIf you're lookin' for the girl you just might find her \r\nOn Will, on Jack, on Dave, on Kevin \r\nOn Eric, on Joseph, maybe even on Steve \r\nOn Peter, on Scott, on John, on Tony \r\nOn Todd, on Ken, and would you believe \r\nOn Mark, on Jerry, on Jim, on Mike \r\nOn Jeff, on Larry with a dog in there with 'em \r\nOn Jack, on Marvin, on Allan, on Dan \r\nOn Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"psychoslutfromhell.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"4","cover":"brain-dead-cover.jpg","url":"brain-dead"},{"id":"36","title":"Smoker","artist":"2","file":"Smoker.mp3","freemp3":"Smoker.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"Loser\" by Beck","backgroundcredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";i:2;s:3:\" 38\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"In a store full of heath food you buy the crap \r\nTwenty little fixes of cancer in a pack \r\nWith a college tuition's worth of taxes placed on 'em all \r\nRussian Roulette, you and the Surgeon General \r\nKill the lungs and the throat and the head \r\nCigarette flamin' with a loser on the other end \r\nDon't have a match so you use a blow torch \r\nIt's forty below and you're smokin' on the front porch \r\nDon't cry to me when you're buried down beneath \r\nGo away and try to hide the yellow stain on your teeth \r\nYou don't believe that it's bad for you, mac \r\nWell I challenge you to run a couple laps around the track \r\nSo stuff your face with a nicotine pack \r\nBut save a couple bucks for the day you have a heart attack \r\nYo, smoke it \r\nSmoke Eight packs a day \r\nI'm a smoker, baby \r\nSo why don't you kill me (repeat) \r\n(Puffin' on a Death Rod)  \r\n\r\nWrinkles on faces from an all-day puff out \r\nToxic waste pourin' out of your mouth \r\nI wonder why you like to smoke and you say you like the taste \r\nWell, do you also like rancid meat and human waste \r\nSittin' there lookin' like a human exhaust pipe \r\nBlow it in my face and I'll punch out your lights \r\nSo much smoke it's like your brain is in a fog \r\nListen to your voice you sound like a dyin' frog \r\nGotta have a smoke with every meal, every breath \r\nYou'll be buried with a carton when you're curled up at death \r\nWhich'll be here sooner than you thought \r\nIf you keep puffin', and chokin' on a filter \r\nSmoke And nicotine \r\nMy throat's decaying \r\nSo why don't you kill me (repeat) \r\n(Get crazy with the menthol) \r\n(Brain dead smoke addict) \r\n\r\nYo, break it on down Smoke... \r\n\r\nSmoke Eight packs a day \r\nI'm a smoker baby \r\nSo why don't you kill me \r\n(I'm a nicotine idiot) \r\n[cough]","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"smoker.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"4","cover":"brain-dead-cover.jpg","url":"brain-dead"},{"id":"37","title":"Do You Piss In The Shower?","artist":"2","file":"Do_You_Piss_In_The_Shower.mp3","freemp3":"Do_You_Piss_In_The_Shower.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 38\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"I was walkin' through the mall headin' to the record store \r\nGonna buy a new tape that came out the day before \r\nHalfway there when I got a big scare \r\nThere's a guy with a clipboard scratching his hair \r\nWith a pencil, he's a Mall-Cockroach \r\nAnd his face lit up when h saw me approach \r\nI didn't even look at him I tried to hide \r\nAnd I gradually wandered to the mall's other side \r\nA guided missile couldn't catch me as fast \r\nAs this guy did as I tried to walk past \r\nPushed his face in mine and said \"Excuse me sir, \r\nMay I have a few minutes of your time for a survey?\" \r\nMy first thought was to bash in his skull with a brick \r\nAnd then get out of there quick \r\nBut there's witnesses around, they would see him goin' down \r\nAnd the last thing I need is to be sent downtown \r\nSo I told him make it quick, do it short and to the point \r\nI had to keep a gynecologist appointment \r\nI really just didn't want to be there for an hour \r\nThen he turned to me and said, Do you piss in the shower? \r\nUhhh, I didn't know what to say \r\nI was expecting an important question from the survey \r\nMaybe something about AIDS for an intelligent discussion \r\nNot a meaningless remark about a bodily function \r\nHe was serious and I was shocked \r\nI just stuttered for a minute, I was in a mental block \r\nThen he informed me that the government was payin' \r\nTo see how much urine was goin' down the drain \r\nJust one of many studies that the government endows \r\nLike how many gay seagulls and how many farting cows \r\nWho really cares? So I said I'm gonna go \r\nMy piss is my business so you're never gonna know \r\nBut this is a real problem, we gotta try and fix it \r\nHomelessness is caused by too many people pissin' \r\nThe theory makes sense and it's really quite frightening\r\nI said, you're on drugs, but please, enlighten me \r\nGladly, scientists last year found \r\nThat urine from the shower drain leaks into the ground \r\nIt gets into the water that everybody drinks \r\nThen it messes with their mind so the people can't think \r\nThey start takin' drugs all day and night \r\nThen they lose their job 'cause they don't do it right \r\nNo job, no money, no home \r\nThis is a serious problem we can't leave alone \r\nHe seemed to want to make a career about piss \r\nAnd I couldn't believe he was serious about this \r\nSo I walked away, I needed out of that place \r\nBut he turned and got right in my face \r\nI got a weird felling kinda like heartburn \r\n'Cause this guy was more attached to me than a tapeworm \r\nI'm positive this guy would have followed me home \r\nI said get out of my face and leave my urine alone \r\nI pushed him away and wiped his spit off my chest \r\nHe said You're not gonna answer? Surely you jest \r\nI said yeah, I jest, I jest oughtta kill you \r\nAsk me again and some blood will be spilled \r\nDo you piss in the shower?  Boom, that's that \r\nBashed his face against the wall a few times now it's flat \r\nAnd with his very last gasp of air he said \r\nDo you piss in the shower?, so I pissed on his head.","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"doyoupissintheshower.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"4","cover":"brain-dead-cover.jpg","url":"brain-dead"},{"id":"38","title":"Rabid Chipmunks","artist":"2","file":"Rabid_Chipmunks.mp3","freemp3":"Rabid_Chipmunks.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Dave: \"Are you ready, Sherman?\" \r\nSherman: \"Yeah, sure, Dave.\" \r\nDave: \"Are you ready, Bob?\" \r\nBob: \"Yeah, whatever, Dave.\" \r\nDave: \"Are you ready, Melvin?.... Melvin,... MELVIN!!!!\" \r\nMelvin: \"Shut up, Dave!\" \r\nDave: \"Melvin, we have a song to do!\" \r\nMelvin: \"Not now, Dave.\" \r\nDave: \"Yes, now, Melvin...\" \r\nMelvin: \"Don't make me kick your ass, Dave!\" \r\nDave: \"Melvin, get over here and do this song!\" \r\nMelvin: \"Now, anybody else want to do that song?\" \r\nProducers and engineers: \"Uhh, no, no, that's OK, \r\nit's a stupid song anyway.\"  \r\n\r\nComin' down from the tree, you know me \r\nI'm a rabid menace to society \r\nTake a nibble at your neck and put you in traction \r\nHad it up to here now it's time for some action \r\nFraction of the pain I'm inflictin' \r\nPuff on an acorn, so addictin' \r\nRun up your leg and bite impolitely \r\nAnd then you'll sound just like me \r\nReach for a forty-ounce, dive in take swim \r\nKilled him on a whim now the maggots are makin' him \r\nInto a sandwich, I'm just watchin'  \r\nJust stole Dave's car, an '84 Datsun \r\nComin' out hard, so hard, I'm a gangsta \r\nChipmunks never take no for an answer \r\nStep to me, and you know I'm-a sweat ya \r\nRun for your life, 'cause we're comin' to get ya \r\n[chorus] \r\nWhen the chipmunks come around better run son \r\n'Cause we reach for the gun and the job gets done \r\nTake no prisoners, shootin' up everyone \r\nHere come the chipmunks, better run, better run  \r\n\r\nGot two buck teeth that are sharp as a razor blade \r\nKill you with my singing, a hardcore serenade Christmas \r\nChristmas time is near \r\nTime for me to go get some more beer \r\nI shoot 'em up till his head looks like a sieve \r\nAnd I do pretty well in this Hell where I live \r\nCollected walnuts, get enough in there \r\nThat I'll be bustin' nuts all winter \r\nDo you understand where I'm goin' 'cause I've had it up to here \r\nSo I'm throwin' out this lame-brain career \r\nAnd now I'm doin' what I rightfully should \r\nShootin' up punks in this neck of the woods \r\nRabies is what I'm-a give you a case of \r\nIf you say I'm cute then I'll chew your face off \r\nIf you don't' think I'm rough, tough and spectacular \r\nYou better run now, 'cause I'm comin' after ya \r\n[chorus] \r\n \r\nTake a hit from the acorn, get me all blunted \r\nThree inches high 'cause my growth was stunted \r\nI try to talk tough but it just won't work  \r\n'Cause it's hard to sound tough when you talk like Urkel \r\nSo I don't try to talk when the punks start to walk \r\nIn my face pretty soon they're outlined with chalk \r\nAnd I walk away with my chipmunk pals  \r\nAnd we go to try and pick up some chipmunk gals \r\nLivin' like a rodent who done lost his mind \r\nAin't never gettin' stuck in some guy's behind \r\n'Cause I take control, and then I take your wallet \r\nAlready today I got three in my pocket \r\nRock it like I'm a heavy metal rock star \r\nMatchbox car souped up like a stock car \r\nAnd now there's no way you could ever stop me \r\nNow I'm comin' to get ya,you and your family \r\n[chorus]","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"rabidchipmunks.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"4","cover":"brain-dead-cover.jpg","url":"brain-dead"},{"id":"39","title":"Show 'Em How It's Done","artist":"2","file":"Show_Em_How_Its_Done.mp3","freemp3":"Show_Em_How_Its_Done.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"38\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"I'm gonna show you how I flow, here we go, are you ready? \r\nTo be taken to a land made of suit and confetti \r\nWhere logic is illogical and often times fought \r\nYes, I'm talkin' 'bout my brain, and my train of thought \r\nIn order to write the disorder of my type \r\nYou have to be distorted before you're fully ripe \r\nOtherwise you'll never change, you'll be limiting your range \r\nAnd your rhymes'll have the value of your current pocket change \r\nKeep an open mind or you'll never find a rhyme  \r\nThat defines who you are and won't creep up your behind \r\nWhether your song's about fleas or sex on your knees \r\nYou can't be creative if you censor your ideas \r\nSo I don't and I won't but I love to rock the boat \r\nYou gotta spill a little thrill it's too easy just to float \r\nI'll never run from a challenge 'cause they're fun when they're done\r\nSon, this is how I like it and I do it so I'll show you how it's done.  \r\n\r\nI like to keep a little distance between me and other MCs \r\nThey don't wanna conceive what I often live and breathe \r\nGivin' you what's taboo is what I often  do best \r\nWhile the rest of them don't attempt to do this \r\nI got an urge to splurge so I'll never conserve   \r\nAny rhyme on my mind goes where the pen and paper merge   \r\nIf I like the way it looks I break out the 4-track  \r\nAnd I use whatever works and I scrap whatever's whack  \r\nMy habit is I grab whatever thought comes to mind  \r\nAnd echoes every word in the void for some time \r\nWith every rhyme that I create I always have a ton of fun  \r\nCause this is how I like it and I do it so I'll show you how it's done\r\n\r\nIf I'm gonna do the song, then I'm gonna do it right \r\nIf the song comes out wrong then I throw it to the night \r\nAnd I bite my tongue, make sure it isn't sung \r\nIf it doesn't want to function then it doesn't get done \r\nI gotta concentrate I don't flip heads or tailes \r\nMy creation is wasted if my train of thought derails \r\nSo I keep my head straight and I keep my pen flowing \r\nNo one really knows exactly where I've been going  \r\nBut that's irrelevant, important is what's evident \r\nMy bass rumbles on like a herd of wild elephants \r\nI keep it going even if I break the lights \r\nBecause I am the terror that raps in the night \r\nMy basement is where I create all my bass in \r\nI'm hackin' up the suckers like that maniac Jason \r\nAnd on the back roads  I'm simply uncanny \r\nDevo Spice has it with four tracks of insanity \r\nSudden Death has the ultimate solution for the boys \r\nAnd we cause a little noise pollution \r\nWith rhymes intertwined over bass that weighs a ton \r\nThis is how I like it and I do it so I'll show you how it's done","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"showemhowitsdone.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"4","cover":"brain-dead-cover.jpg","url":"brain-dead"},{"id":"40","title":"Masturbate","artist":"2","file":"Masturbate.mp3","freemp3":"Masturbate.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 18\";}","parodyof":"\"Regulate\" by Warren G. and Nate Dogg","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 22\";}","guests":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"18\";i:1;s:3:\" 22\";}","lyrics":"Masturbators \r\nWe'll masturbate with anything we can get our hands on \r\nFrom Victoria's Secret Catalogs to Archie Comics \r\nWe're damn good, too  \r\nBut you can't be any Jack off the street \r\nYou gotta be handy with the candy if you know what I mean \r\nMasturbators! \r\nJack up!  \r\n\r\nIt was a beautiful night, under the stars \r\nWalking hand in hand, away from all the cars  \r\nWe came to a tree and sat down in the grass \r\nI put my hand on her knee, I tried to make a pass \r\nJust went to the movies with the girl of my dreams \r\nBulging out of my pants nearly breaking the seams \r\nPut my arm around the girl then she wrecked my pride  \r\nWhen she jammed her elbow really hard in my side\r\nSittin' under the tree she put her arm around me \r\nThen she grabbed me and repeatedly bashed me into the tree \r\nThe girl ran away, I sat there and moaned \r\nShe stole my car so I'm-a have to walk home \r\nShe didn't watch the movie she just walked away \r\nI guess she didn't care since she didn't have to pay \r\nBut I'm not gonna let this ruin my date \r\nBut then the girl came back and threw her soda in my face\r\nThis ain't my day, I guess I'm outta luck \r\nI still can't believe that I messed this up \r\nI passed a movie theater not feeling too well \r\nI looked at the marquis and said what the hell \r\nI saw my homie Devo Spice walking into the film \r\nI waved him over and he sat where the soda spilled \r\nHe didn't seem to care that his butt was wet \r\n'Cause that's the only satisfaction he was going to get\r\nI got pressure in my head, other parts are turning blue \r\nI'm sittin' next to Stain wondering what to do \r\nI left the movie theater decided just to roam \r\nI wandered for a while then I found my way home \r\nSpice got up and left so I left too  \r\nI'm still horny so I know what I have to do  \r\nWe both went out and we both blew our dates \r\nSo Stain and Devo Spice had to masturbate\r\n\r\nSittin' in my bedroom with some Vaseline \r\nAnd the girl of my dreams in a magazine \r\nSince I wasn't with a real girl and I was annoyed \r\nI began to shake hands with the unemployed\r\nNow Stain is a bum and that's a known fact \r\nBut I'm not known for resortin' to a jack \r\nJust  once just once just this time\r\nWith Miss September and me, in a knuckle bind \r\nThe very next night I was lookin' for some fun \r\nSo I called every girl I knew \r\nMost of them just began to laugh \r\nAnd a couple of them even spewed \r\nSo I paced back and forth I just couldn't believe \r\nI said ooh not again  \r\nSo when  a girl scout came to sell cookies I asked her \r\nWould you like to yank my chain \r\nI got Victoria's Secret in the house with us \r\nThe next step is the Jerkit Circus\r\n\r\nI'm tweaking  on a whole new level \r\nBut I gotta admit I'm happier than ever \r\nI can do any girl no hesitation or trouble \r\nKelly Bundy, Cindy Crawford, maybe even Betty Rubble\r\nWhips, chains, magazines, Vaseline,\r\nG-strings, where you don't need a wife and you don't need a condom \r\nIf you do like I do \r\nYou know that it'll blow your mind \r\nBut if you do it too often \r\nBe careful 'cause you might go blind \r\nIf you try real hard \r\nThen you might just get a date \r\nBut if your ass is ugly \r\nThen you're gonna have to masturbate","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"masturbate.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";i:1;s:2:\" 5\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"4","cover":"brain-dead-cover.jpg","url":"brain-dead"},{"id":"41","title":"Couch Potato","artist":"2","file":"Couch_Potato.mp3","freemp3":"Couch_Potato.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 4\";i:2;s:3:\" 38\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"There ain't nothin' to do in my home town \r\nSo I grab my remote and I plant myself down \r\nSuckin' down cheese balls by the pound \r\nGonna watch TV till my brain melts down \r\n\r\nI got no wife and I got no life \r\nBut I got my remote so I'm set for the night \r\nNever shower so I smell like rotten eggs \r\nCobwebs growin' out the side of my legs \r\n'Cause I haven't gotten up in sixteen years \r\nMissin' a show is one of my worst fears \r\nMy father wants to know what kind of drugs I'm on \r\nI don't get up to eat or even go to the john \r\nEven if I wanted to I doubt I could \r\nBecause my legs feel like they're made of petrified wood \r\nHere in the same place in the same slouch \r\nMy butt is fused to the cushion of the couch \r\nDropped out of school in the second grade \r\nGot a ten foot screen, got a glass of lemonade \r\nGot a jar next to me for when I have to pee \r\nThis is the way life was meant to be \r\n\r\nThere ain't nothin' to do in my home town \r\nSo I grab my remote and I plant myself down \r\nSuckin' down cheese balls by the pound \r\nGonna watch TV till my brain melts down  \r\n\r\nRats and roaches run around the room \r\nI forgot what it's like to be in any other room \r\nI stare at the tube and I never make a sound \r\n'Cause the TV set never lets me down \r\nTalk shows, talk shows, all day long \r\nWith stuff like this, how can I go wrong? \r\nLike cross dressin' Nazis who live on Gummy bears \r\nAnd Elvis impersonators singing in their underwear \r\nGames, game shows all day and night \r\nI live for shows like The Price Is Right \r\nI'm still waitin' to see Bob Barker cringe \r\nWhen a fat woman pulls the big wheel off the hinge \r\nWait, what's happening, this has to be a joke \r\nOh, God, no, please, my remote is broke \r\nThese are brand new batteries I can't  believe they blew \r\nNow what the hell am I supposed to do? \r\nThere ain't nothin' to do in my home town \r\nSo I grab my rerote* and I plant myself down \r\nSuckin' down cheese balls by the pound \r\nGonna watch TV till my brain melts down.  \r\n\r\n[*rerote, n. (re-ROTE): 1.how a person says \"remote\" \r\nafter years of sitting in front of a television \r\ndue to the brain damage caused by doing so.]","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"couchpotato.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"4","cover":"brain-dead-cover.jpg","url":"brain-dead"},{"id":"42","title":"Godzilla","artist":"2","file":"Godzilla.mp3","freemp3":"Godzilla.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";}","musiccredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Now get back, give me slack from the entonement pit \r\n'Cause the Sudden Death-Honeynut conglomerate \r\nIs fuelin' the fire for the monster jam \r\nI'm movin' the masses with the mic in my hand and \r\nPinch-hittin' as it's writtin' rockin' hip hop top charts \r\nCombust spontaneous rhymes, I'll recall you like lawn darts \r\nI got cues from the Devo Spice \r\nTo be positive, my dynamite cranks what's nice \r\nGodzilla, the lizard king is not whack \r\nSo funkin' bad he'll break the back of a Sleestak \r\nAnd cause chaos when I'm done make it hectic \r\nIn fact you can't estimate how bad that I wreck it \r\nInsane book knowledge give me stupid vocab \r\nVacuum sealed head and my gab don't go bad \r\nRappin' sniper you can bet I'm hyper \r\nI'm drawin' a crowd like my man the Pied Piper \r\nZippedy-pippedy-do-dah, zippidely-d-o-a \r\nMy oh my that's crazy lyrics to say \r\nAnd when I DJ I'm more like the Darth Vader \r\n'Cause I cut it up right with my light saber fader \r\nYou don't think it's gonna last, it does bet your ass \r\nThat's why the floor boards shakin' low frequency blasts \r\nI pillage and I plunder like the Hun Atilla \r\nOr the freak Godzilla.  \r\n\r\nGodzilla, the killer, don't press your luck \r\nFrom the depths of beyond comes a power of destruction \r\nPanic as I have it wreakin' havoc on the street \r\nShakin' ground from the sound of the poundin' of my feet \r\nAnd the beat the crushes all the backbones burns \r\nLeavin' suckers out of luck stuck dead on the curb \r\nThe monster beat, with  my monster breath \r\nMeans I'm sending all the men to an impending sudden death \r\nSpice, the vox on the box \r\nI'm allergic to the nuts, but Honeynut rocks \r\nLeaving what I do true to the heart when I start \r\nI just do what I gotta do and rip it all apart \r\nStuck in my basement I'm breakin' out hard \r\n'Cause the noise of my toys can destroy the front yard \r\nI summon up the bass and I send it on a rampage \r\nRead about the beat tomorrow morning on the front page \r\nAnd cower at the sound of my growl \r\nAs I howl you'll hit the ground 'cause my breath is so foul \r\nI wreck everything in my way every day \r\nTake a building I don't like and redesign it my way \r\nYou can hear me comin' for miles around \r\nGet in my way I'll beat you down you won't last a whole round \r\nMeet ya and I treat ya and I'm guaranteed to thrill ya \r\nBecause I'm hung like Godzilla","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"godzilla.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"4","cover":"brain-dead-cover.jpg","url":"brain-dead"},{"id":"43","title":"I'm Not A Man","artist":"2","file":"Im_Not_A_Man.mp3","freemp3":"Im_Not_A_Man.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 24\";}","parodyof":"\"I Got A Man\" by Positive K","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"24\";}","lyrics":"Hey big boy, ooh, you're lookin' fine \r\nI like your little mustache and your cute behind \r\nWhat the hell are you talking about? \r\nYeah, I like guys who go the other route \r\nWhat-cha say you and me go dance? \r\nThere's something you should know. I don't think you understand\r\nThis can't be, tell me is it me? \r\nWhat's the matter, hon, don't you like what you see? \r\nNo, it's not that, I knew you didn't understand \r\nHow should I say this...I'm not a man \r\nWhat's the point in tryin' to lie to me? \r\nI told ya, I find that really hard to believe \r\nI was born a woman, don't you see these breasts?\r\nI know that they're fake so just give it a rest\r\nI'll admit I think  you got a nice face\r\nYeah now you're talkin' baby let's go back to my place\r\nI didn't know this was a gay bar, so my position stands \r\nI already told ya, I'm not a man\r\nWhat's the point in tryin' to lie to me? \r\nI'm not a man, I find that really hard to believe\r\nI'm not a man,  what's the point in tryin' to lie to me?\r\nI'm not a man,  I just can't believe that \r\nWhy don't you believe me? This just isn't fair \r\nJust look at these legs, hey're all covered in hair \r\nI'll win you over if it takes all night \r\nBecause I'm really turned on by transvestites \r\nAre you really that stupid? Do I sound like a guy? \r\nHave you ever heard a guy with a voice this high?\r\nI've heard guys with higher voices than you got \r\nYou sound like the members of the New Kids On The Block\r\nIt really must suck to live the life you've got \r\nAre you a hunter? Because your brain is shot\r\nYou got a five o'clock shadow and you look very strong \r\nSo I don't see any way that I could be wrong \r\nWhy don't you just give up and give me this dance \r\nI know you're a man, there's a bulge in your pants \r\nMy tampon is full, why don't you mind your own business?\r\nIf that's not a mustache, then what the hell is it? \r\nI think you better get new glasses, man'Cause me? \r\nI've never been a man\r\nWhat's the point in tryin' to lie to me \r\nI'm not a man, I find that really hard to believe \r\nI'm not a man, what's the point in tryin' to lie to me? \r\nI'm not a man, I just can't believe that \r\nWhat am I, some desperate man \r\nWho just wants to get you for a one night stand? \r\nYou can be a lumberjack and I'll be your log \r\nYou got a better chance of getting on with my dog\r\nWe can't have nothin'? It all depends\r\nI'm not worried, I know I'm gonna get you in the end \r\nWhat's that supposed to mean? I want into your jeans\r\nI'll smack you so hard, that would bring true my dreams \r\nYou gotta understand a lot of men here are eyesores \r\nBut to me you're more beautiful than Boy George \r\nYou're not my type I like guys who like girls \r\nSo why don't you go fall off the end of the world\r\nYour nose is so big, you must weigh a ton \r\nYour legs are so hairy, your panty hose run\r\nI'll take you on trips all across the land\r\nWhat part of no don't you understand? \r\nYou're the type of guy that can nurture me\r\nI was the cutest little girl in the nursery\r\nI think you just had some good surgery\r\n\r\nI don't have to take this, I'm outta here\r\nNo, wait, sit down, c'mon, join me for a beer\r\nWhy would I wanna stay here with you?\r\nYou know you can't resist the thought of me with you \r\nI'll do things to you that you've never even seen \r\nI'm very creative when I'm with drag queens \r\nIf you say no now then you'll change your mind \r\nAnd when I do, I won't be hard to find \r\nI'm the man of your dreams and I'm sure that \r\nYou're the type of guy I've been lookin' for \r\nJust come back here with your fake breasts flappin' \r\nI'm not a man, you're not a what? \r\nNow when did this happen? \r\nWhat's the point in tryin' to lie to me? \r\nI'm not a man, I find that really hard to believe\r\nI'm not a man, what's the point in tryin' to lie to me \r\nI'm not a man, I just can't believe that \r\nI'm not a man, you have to be so give it a rest\r\nI'm not a man, I know you are but what am I? \r\nI'm not a man, well, not like me\r\nI'm not a man","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"imnotaman.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"4","cover":"brain-dead-cover.jpg","url":"brain-dead"},{"id":"44","title":"They Must Die","artist":"2","file":"They_Must_Die.mp3","freemp3":"They_Must_Die.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Marky Mark- (No talent sell-out punk.), \r\nMall Survey People- (See: \"Do You \r\nPiss in the Shower?\"), \r\nCatherine Blossom- (She  is the person at Toad's in \r\nNew Haven who is responsible for booking acts.  \r\nWhen \"Weird Al\" Yankovic came there we contacted her \r\nto try to get the gig opening for him. We were the \r\nonly group who wanted the gig. We were asking for \r\nthirty minutes on  stage, and told her we weren't \r\ninterested in getting paid. We just wanted to \r\nperform. She didn't even have the professional \r\ncourtesy to call us back and say no. She just ignored \r\nus and refused to return our calls. So on the night \r\nof the show \"Weird Al\" played with no opening act) \r\nFab 5 Freddy- (He was one of the judges at a rap \r\ncontest I was in several years ago. I was easily the \r\ncrowd's favorite to win, but he voted for an 11-year-\r\nold-Vanilla-Ice-lookalike-Bart-Simpson soundalike-\r\npudster named MC Loud. It's not the fact that I lost \r\nthat bothers me. It's that I lost to the worst of \r\nall the contestants.)  \r\nTipper Gore- (PMRC- The \r\nPre-Menstrual Recording Communists), \r\nWesley Crusher- (He just annoys me.), \r\nMichael Jackson- (Ditto) \r\nThat Woman in the Sprint Ads- (Can you say...obnoxious?), \r\nMacaulay Culkin- (I used to work in a video store. \r\nYou'd hate him too if you had to look at 400 pictures \r\nof this little brat's face plastered all over the store.), \r\nRush Limbaugh- (I think Da Other Asiatics said it best: \r\n\"My rhymes are fat and stupid like Rush Limbaugh\".) \r\nHollywood Artists- (Hollywood Artists Record Company. \r\nThey took my song \"That's How I Like It\" and totally \r\nwrecked it. It has to be heard to be believed. \r\nThat whole incident was a scam. I'll spare you \r\nthe details. Never trust a record company that [as I \r\nfound out later] advertises in the National Enquirer.), \r\nBarney- (the fat, fascist, purple pedophile \r\nis single-handedly giving parody a bad name.)","private":"0","comments":"The full title is: \"They  Must Die (Extended, Video, dance, House, Acid, Techno, Metal, Radio Mix With Nuts and a Cherry on Top)\"","ralink":"theymustdie.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"4","cover":"brain-dead-cover.jpg","url":"brain-dead"},{"id":"45","title":"The Psychic Enemies Network","artist":"2","file":"The_Psychic_Enemies_Network.mp3","freemp3":"The_Psychic_Enemies_Network.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Thank you for your money and I thank you for your call \r\nNow let me gaze deep into my crystal ball \r\nAnd see what the future has in store for you \r\nI gotta concentrate to clearly let the message come through \r\nIt says you'll win the lottery but lose the ticket \r\nWhen your house catches fire and your dog dies in it \r\nThen again I could be wrong but I never have before \r\nPush one now if you want to hear more \r\nLet's see, someone will throw up in your car \r\nBut don't worry 'cause your car will blow up at the mall \r\nAnd kill everyone in the area \r\nAnd the top of your head'll get a little less hairier \r\nSo give up, take a bath, go to bed \r\nIf you're lucky tomorrow you might wake up dead \r\nIf not, hey what more can I say \r\nYou're outta luck, your life sucks, thanks for callin' have a nice day.  \r\n\r\nLove, sex, your future looks bleak \r\nYour son will be born as a two headed freak \r\nAnd then sometime next week, your wife is gonna die \r\nWhen she tries to make love to a banana cream pie \r\nBut don't feel bad 'cause you'll fall in love again \r\nTo a beautiful woman with a golden brown tan \r\nRomance blossoms like a rose it's a thriller \r\nBut her ex-boyfriend will act like a weed killer \r\nWhen he pummels your face into the ground so hard \r\nThat you become permanently part of the front yard \r\nWhere there a lawn mower mangles your face \r\nAnd scatters your remains all over the place \r\nYour life means nothing, you're a loser, you're a bore \r\nSo don't bother me with your troubles no more \r\nYou'll be lucky if you live past half-past eight \r\nYou're outta luck, your life sucks, thanks for callin', have a nice day.  \r\n\r\nYou again? Alright, last time \r\nYou don't have to be psychic to read your mind \r\nI know about you and your kind it's a crime \r\nYou got a little extra money and a lot of spare time \r\nYou will be greeted by a tall dark man \r\nWith a skull for a face and a sickle in his hand \r\nThe good news, you won't have to worry about germs  \r\nBad news, now you're lunch for maggots and worms \r\nBut before you bite it, you might wanna know \r\nThat a tumor in your brain is beginning to grow \r\nBut I wouldn't worry about that I would watch where I walk \r\n'Cause you're gonna get hit by a truck \r\nPersonally I'll be glad when you're gone \r\nAnd I hope that you're scattered over my front lawn \r\nAnd tomorrow will be even worse than today \r\nYou're outta luck, your life sucks, thanks for callin' have a nice day.","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"thepsychicenemiesnetwork.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"4","cover":"brain-dead-cover.jpg","url":"brain-dead"},{"id":"46","title":"South Park Junkie","artist":"2","file":"South_Park_Junkie.mp3","freemp3":"South_Park_Junkie.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"South Bronx\" by Boogie Down Productions","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 31\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"31\";}","lyrics":"Many people tell me this show is pathetic\r\nBut when it comes on I shake like a diabetic\r\nTV tunes in and my brain tunes out\r\nAnd it takes another week for me to fully calm down\r\nHave a seat, unplug the phone\r\nCome on now here we go\r\nYou got smacked up side your head\r\n'Cause you're talkin' during the show\r\nI stay glued to my TV\r\nTill my brain is a sieve\r\nIf you bother me while this shows on\r\nYou might not live, I'm watchin'\r\n\r\nSouth Park!  South South Park!  (4 times)\r\n\r\nI wanna be a character in that little town\r\nWith cut paper clothing and a face that's round\r\nAnd an ability that's cool, yes they all can\r\nWithout the use of their arms still move their hands\r\nI'll bet you half a penny that they're gonna kill Kenny\r\nThe hats and earmuffs that they wear are so trendy\r\nThey're so friendly\r\nAnd Stan's gonna puke on Wendy\r\nNow during the day they all go to that school\r\nThe Chef sings a song 'cause he's just so cool\r\nI hope that they're all ready for the latest quiz\r\nMr. Garrison's not gay, but Stan's dog is\r\nNow I'll tell you the easy truth, I love the little sleazy youths\r\nI wanna call up Jesus too, yeah I want the Cheezy Poofs\r\nPsychotic turkeys tore the place apart\r\nTerrance and Philip, all they do is fart\r\nAnd Kyle's stupid mother tried to can the show\r\nBut then he met Mr. Hankey who said...\r\nKenny gets killed then comes back next week\r\nIt's like he's being cloned by that mad scientist freak\r\nBut I don't understand why he wastes his time\r\nHe's not worth it 'cause he's only got one behind\r\nAnd Cartman is still gaining weight\r\nEatin' appetizers, Snacky Cakes, Cheezy Poofs, Beefcake!\r\nStan's uncle Jimbo hunts rabbit and fox\r\nAnd his friend Ned has a cool voice box\r\nAnd odd as it seems Jesus fights for a cause\r\nThat's to beat the crap out of Santa Claus\r\nAnd now they got toys on the shelf at Kay-Bee\r\nAnd a home version of Kick The Baby\r\nAnd if you try to change the channel while I'm watchin' the show\r\nI'll...\r\nSo why do I watch this show, all the people\r\nIn the town think I'm insane\r\nAfter a hard day's work this show provides\r\nQuite a relief for my brain\r\n'Cause if I didn't well then my nerves would\r\nJust blow up\r\nAnd I would end up like that creature\r\nScuzzlebutt, and he's from\r\n\r\nSouth Park, South South Park (8 times)\r\n\r\nThe Cows' star quarterback, Stan Marsh\r\nThe fat kid, the big-boned Eric Cartman\r\nThe little Jewish kid Kyle Brozlofsky\r\n(muffled: The one that nobody can ever understand, Kenny McCormick)","private":"0","comments":"After watching 2 episodes of South Park I was hooked.  I wanted to write a song about it, and when local hip hop DJ Chris G played the old school rap hit \"South Bronx\" on his show I just put the two together and came up with this.","ralink":"southparkjunkie.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"6\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"6","cover":"unplugged-cover.jpg","url":"unplugged"},{"id":"47","title":"Fat Chicks In Spandex","artist":"2","file":"Fat_Chicks_In_Spandex.mp3","freemp3":"Fat_Chicks_In_Spandex.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Oh no, there they go another herd of elephants\r\nWith big fat legs in tight black pants\r\nAnd an image of themselves that can","private":"0","comments":"I wrote this about one person in particular.  And when I told her about the song her reaction was: \"Oh yeah!  I hate it when they dress like that!\"  HELLO!!","ralink":"fatchicksinspandex.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"6\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"6","cover":"unplugged-cover.jpg","url":"unplugged"},{"id":"48","title":"Halitosis","artist":"2","file":"Halitosis.mp3","freemp3":"Halitosis.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 25\";}","parodyof":"\"California Love\" by Dr. Dre and 2Pac","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"18\";}","guests":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"18\";i:1;s:3:\" 25\";}","lyrics":"Halitosis\r\nHurts everybody\r\nYour halitosis\r\nIs ungodly\r\nIt's amazing how bad you smell\r\nIt's amazing I'm still alive\r\nIt's amazing what you smell like\r\nNo you're not very well liked\r\nNow I know what Hell's like\r\n\r\nNow let me introduce the brother with the wild wild breath\r\nHis face is untouchable like grandmother's breasts\r\nThe smell hits your nose hard, then you hit the floor\r\nYou're out cold for a week and for a month you'll be sore\r\nHe's only got three teeth and they all are rotten\r\nA state of emergency is what he's gotten\r\nForgotten how to brush his last three teeth\r\nLean green infected dental roots underneath\r\nA few years ago he moved to the town where I am\r\nAnd then all our pets started dyin'\r\nI couldn't believe the smell that came from his jaw\r\nBloody mess, lookin' like he chewed on a chainsaw\r\nThe smell reaches clear from Alaska to New York\r\nHe's gotta grind his food and then eat it off a spork\r\nUh, pull his finger, it smells the same way\r\nStrong enough to sink Californ-i-a\r\n\r\nHalitosis\r\nHurts everybody \r\nYour halitosis\r\nIs ungodly\r\nIt's amazing your jaw is attached\r\nIt's amazing your house still stands\r\nIt's amazing how bad it's gotten\r\nYour mouth is rotten, it keeps on rottin'\r\nBrush, brush 'em baby\r\nBrush brush your teeth\r\nFor the love of God\r\nGo brush your teeth\r\n\r\nNow what comes out of homie's mouth has really got me cryin'\r\nSoon as he comes in the room you see some people dyin'\r\nHe's got that musty, lover-losin', hygiene resistant\r\nBreath that smells like a dead cow\r\nHe really doesn't give a damn of what the people think though\r\nYesterday he got a government fine ([Spice]yeah, I know)\r\nHe never ate a certs or even chewed on bubble-gum\r\nFlosses after meals but the string cuts through his gums\r\nBeen on TV programs world wide\r\nFrom the Oprah Winfrey show to Live at Five\r\nI think his breath is gettin' worse now, it's opaque\r\nTo get through it you may have to use a snow plow\r\nHe's a disgrace, so give me that bomb from the base\r\nI'm gonna blow that ugly smile off his face\r\nI think I need back up, 'cause the smell is comin' back up\r\nI grab a suitcase and I pack up, get me out!\r\n\r\nHalitosis \r\nHurts everybody\r\nHalitosis\r\nIs ungodly\r\nIt's amazing that you can breathe\r\nIt's amazing your tongue still works\r\nIt's amazing what color your breath is\r\nHe thinks it's precious\r\nBut look how my flesh is\r\nBrush, brush 'em baby\r\nBrush brush your teeth\r\nFor the love of God\r\nGo brush your teeth","private":"0","comments":"\"California Love\" was begging to be parodied, although this one nearly killed me.  I wrote it, did the music, sent the 4-track tape to Tony, he added his vocals, then I got the tape from Luke with his a capalla rap which I had to manually synchronize with the music, then put everything together...finally.","ralink":"halitosis.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"6\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"6","cover":"unplugged-cover.jpg","url":"unplugged"},{"id":"49","title":"Hip Hop Gangsta","artist":"2","file":"Hip_Hop_Gangsta.mp3","freemp3":"Hip_Hop_Gangsta.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 37\";i:2;s:2:\" 4\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"One two for my crew, three fo' for the dough that I'm\r\nMakin', five six seven for the lives that I'm\r\nTakin', eight nine ten for my singers\r\nStart over at one because I ran out of fingers\r\nBut I got a finger for you and it's the middle\r\nAnd like Batman, you'll be plagued with a riddle\r\nWho do you think you are, and who are you gonna\r\nBe, so you can make the money like me\r\nI grew up on the streets of some town I never been in \r\nI write rhymes about crimes I never did and get the women\r\nAnd when I'm done I go home and stare blankly out the window\r\nAnd get back to killin' everything...on Nintendo\r\nNext year when my career is caput\r\nI'll find another image that'll work just as good\r\nBut for now I'm gettin' major play on eMpTyV\r\nSo a gangsta's life is the life for me\r\n\r\n(chorus)\r\nWe do gang-bangs and drive-bys\r\nAnd when it comes to blunts we got a year's supply\r\nBut we only act tough on the video screen\r\n'Cause we ain't really part of that gangsta scene (repeat)\r\n\r\nWell yeah, bow wow wow, I'm a gangsta\r\nI'm in it to win it like the lottery thanks to\r\nThe formula for how to turn vinyl into gold\r\nI can sit back and chill while I sell my soul\r\nTo the label that labeled me as a true G\r\nNext week I start shootin' for a gangsta movie\r\nAnd that's when the money'll start pourin' in\r\nAnd sequel after sequel there'll be more of it\r\nAll this because I use my gat when I oughtta\r\nPup the clip, pull the trigger and it'll spray you full o' water\r\nYeah, it's just a prop but it'll get me to the top\r\nAnd it's the only way that I'll be gettin' any kind of props\r\nSo for now while I'm foolin' everyone in the game\r\nI'll make song after song that are practically the same\r\nAnd I'll be laughin' all the way to the bank\r\nSo I'm-a keep on livin' up the life of a gangsta\r\n\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\nYou hear another g-funk song and ask who is it\r\nIs it Snoop or someone else who's equally full of shizzit\r\nLike a rock star who only knows two or three chords\r\nI'm-a play it and a play it till the public gets bored\r\nAnd then I'm gonna play it some more and collect\r\nMore royalties from the days that I had respect\r\nAnd then I can retire from this hectic life\r\nOf writin' rhymes about crimes I never did and get a wife\r\nBut for now this ain't bad I work an hour a day\r\nI use someone else's music then sit back and get paid\r\nI only sing about blunts and how I hate the police\r\nAnd my posse yells \"Shoot 'em up, shoot 'em up!\" Peace\r\nI sleep all day and I party all night\r\nI get drunk play Nintendo and maybe pick a fight\r\nI got money, got respect and got tons o' girls\r\nI'm a hip hop gangsta, best life in the world","private":"0","comments":"I wrote this a long time ago when G-Funk was still the in thing.","ralink":"hiphopgangsta.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"6\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"6","cover":"unplugged-cover.jpg","url":"unplugged"},{"id":"50","title":"Happy Birthday","artist":"2","file":"Happy_Birthday.mp3","freemp3":"Happy_Birthday.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";i:2;s:3:\" 38\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"<p>A cover of \"Weird Al\" Yankovic's song from his debut album.  This was recorded for the tribute album Prosthetic Lips.<\/p>","ralink":"happybirthday.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"6\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"6","cover":"unplugged-cover.jpg","url":"unplugged"},{"id":"51","title":"Slow Painful Death","artist":"2","file":"Slow_Painful_Death.mp3","freemp3":"Slow_Painful_Death.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"29\";}","parodyof":"\"Killing Me Softly\" by The Fugees","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 31\";}","guests":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"29\";i:1;s:3:\" 31\";}","lyrics":"Numbing my brain with that singer\r\nEchoes for days in my head\r\nKilling me slowly with this song\r\nKilling me slowly with this song\r\nRuined my whole life with this tune\r\nKilling me slowly with this song\r\n\r\nHi, you","private":"0","comments":"This song was begging to exist.  It pretty much wrote itself.","ralink":"slowpainfuldeath.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"6\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"6","cover":"unplugged-cover.jpg","url":"unplugged"},{"id":"52","title":"The Mouth","artist":"2","file":"The_Mouth.mp3","freemp3":"The_Mouth.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"28\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"28\";}","lyrics":"Sittin' at home doin' nothing in particular\r\nWatchin' TV legs crossed perpendicular\r\nTryin' real hard to retain my sanity\r\nWhen in walks the reason I gave up on humanity\r\nFive foot eight with a wimpy goatee\r\nBrown hair, brown eyes, and a couple brown teeth\r\nHis voice has a pitch that could bust a glass\r\nGot a mouth like a river and it's just as fast\r\nLivin' with this guy has really been the pits\r\nHis mouth is so big that his nose barely fits\r\nAin't no peace and quiet it's a riot with this creep\r\n","private":"0","comments":"This song is about an annoying roommate who is actually the combination of 2 of my ex roommates.  I had one guy, who we actually nicknamed The Mouth, who ate everything in site, and another who would talk for hours about nothing.  Most of this song is true, including the part about his wife.","ralink":"themouth.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"6\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"6","cover":"unplugged-cover.jpg","url":"unplugged"},{"id":"53","title":"Theory","artist":"2","file":"Theory.mp3","freemp3":"Theory.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Back in the game though I never really left\r\nGivin' more of the same somethin' funny somethin' def\r\nLot of rotting in my brain and there isn't much left\r\nSpice is the name and the band is Sudden Death\r\nI do it for the fun with the help of my friends\r\nAnd we're always on the run like used Depends\r\nI had a little fun tying up loose ends\r\nNow that the work is done let the insanity commence\r\nNormal emcees come a dozen for a dime\r\nAnd I blow ","private":"0","comments":"Occasionally I get inspired to write a \"normal\" song.  This is the token normal song for the album.","ralink":"theory.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"6\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"6","cover":"unplugged-cover.jpg","url":"unplugged"},{"id":"54","title":"Everybody Dies","artist":"2","file":"Everybody_Dies.mp3","freemp3":"Everybody_Dies.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 24\";}","parodyof":"\"All That I Need\" by Method Man and Mary J. Blije","backgroundcredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";i:2;s:3:\" 38\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"24\";}","lyrics":"They all will bleed and then die, a-aahh <repeat>\r\n\r\nJason's a guy that you really oughtta watch for\r\nTo him you ain't nothin' but a fly, he'll squash ya\r\nNothin' feels worse than an axe to the scrotum\r\nChop off your head you'll be dead like the others\r\nAll just revenge for his mother, Ewokie*\r\nI don't think he wants to play hockey\r\nBack in part one his mother took revenge for her son\r\nThen someone said hey it was good, make another one\r\nEven when the sequels bombed they would think of new ways\r\nTo kill people so they made another one\r\nNow there's eighty-some-odd movies you can rent in the store\r\nAnd you know that they're gonna make more, and keep it up (aww)\r\nAnd the story's the same, we ask why\r\nKids go to camp, have sex, and then die\r\nSo what, you don't need a plot to make a buck\r\nWe got masks to make, I tell ya it's so fake\r\nJust get a bunch of kids to go to Crystal Lake\r\nYou know Jason's gonna turn ","private":"0","comments":"This song is pretty old, and I originally wasn","ralink":"everybodydies.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"6\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"6","cover":"unplugged-cover.jpg","url":"unplugged"},{"id":"55","title":"Silicon Valley","artist":"2","file":"Silicon_Valley.mp3","freemp3":"Silicon_Valley.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"At home, Friday night, and I'm checkin' out the Playboy Channel\r\nBut it might be too much for me to handle\r\n","private":"0","comments":"I really can","ralink":"siliconvalley.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"6\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"6","cover":"unplugged-cover.jpg","url":"unplugged"},{"id":"56","title":"Kicked In The Balls","artist":"2","file":"Kicked_In_The_Balls.mp3","freemp3":"Kicked_In_The_Balls.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 37\";i:2;s:2:\" 4\";}","parodyof":"\"We're Trying To Stay Alive\" by Wyclef Jean","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Kicked in the balls!\r\n\r\nLooki-looki-lookin' sharp on a Saturday night\r\nHangin' out with my friends at a club and everything is alright\r\nPickin' up a hot lady is the plan\r\nWith a skirt short enough to wear as a headband\r\nI step to a girl and I make my moves\r\nThen I step right back with a nice fresh bruise\r\nI found another woman lightin' up the place\r\nShe took one look at me and then slapped my face\r\nBut worst of ","private":"0","comments":"I thought of this parody for the original Bee-Gees song a long time ago but never did anything with it since I don","ralink":"kickedintheballs.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"6\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"6","cover":"unplugged-cover.jpg","url":"unplugged"},{"id":"57","title":"A Christmas Tail","artist":"2","file":"A_Christmas_Tail.mp3","freemp3":"A_Christmas_Tail.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"My generation has been labeled with a big ol' X\r\nAlong with it came a stigma of a big ol' hex\r\nThat we're all into all kinds of self mutilation\r\nBody piercing, tattoos, and scarification\r\nBut I like to find better things to do\r\nAlthough I do pop the occasional pimple or two\r\nI never really cared for that other stuff\r\n\ufffdCause for me my emotional scars were enough\r\nI decided long ago that I wouldn't treat\r\nMy body like a walking wall of graphite\r\nSo imaging my surprise when I awoke to find\r\nA tattoo of a heart right on my behind\r\n\r\nIt was the day after Christmas and all through the house\r\nEverything was a mess, I even found a dead mouse\r\nThe stockings were ripped off the women on the floor\r\nWho were passed out drunk from the party the night before\r\nThe house was a wreck, I had seen enough\r\nIt'll take me all of next year to clean up\r\nI'd been planning this party the whole month of December\r\nIt looked like fun, I wish I could remember\r\nGod, what a pain in my ass, I hate cleaning\r\nSomething on the back of my sofa is steaming\r\nI don't wanna know what they did to my cat\r\nAnd speaking of a pain in my ass, what's that\r\nOw, what the Hell, where did this come from\r\nIt's a feeling like somebody shot me in the bum\r\nI got so drunk I can't remember a thing\r\nI don't know what this is, but man does it sting\r\nInto the bathroom I rushed like a flash\r\nTore open my pants and examined my ass\r\nAnd on my left butt cheek, about an inch wide\r\nWas a little red heart with a name inside\r\nV.. vi.. Vicky?\r\nVvv...vihh...\r\nVixen?  Who the Hell is Vixen?\r\nI don't remember anybody named...\r\nWait a minute, it's starting to come back\r\nI remember a fat guy in red and black\r\nHe showed up to the party \ufffdbout a quarter past twelve\r\nWith a whole enterage of reindeer and elves\r\nLookin' like he had broken some strange sex laws\r\nMy party was crashed by Santa Claus\r\nThat's the only small detail I recall\r\nBesides that I don't remember nothin' at all\r\nI know Vixen is part of his reindeer crew\r\nBut now I wanna know what'd the two of us do\r\nJust what went on, how far did it go\r\nOn second thought, I think I'd rather not know\r\nSomething tells me that I should avoid it\r\n\ufffdCause I don't wanna hear that I might have enjoyed it\r\nI cleaned up the house, tried to clear my head\r\nI took a shower and cleaned all the fur off my bed\r\nI got rid of anything that could possibly remind me\r\nI just wanna put this whole thing behind me\r\n\r\nI will always regret that happened that night\r\nThat little tattoo has ruined my life\r\nThe sight of a heart still gives me a chill\r\nAnd I don't wanna mention my psychiatrist bill\r\nI sort of understand but I'm kinda sore\r\nThat my friends don't wanna come around no more\r\nMy girlfriend left me and I had to move\r\nAnd I eventually got the damn thing removed\r\nSomeone suggested that I change my religion\r\nI thought about it, and came to a decision\r\nI because I Druid because I thought it'd be nice\r\nAnd now I practice free sex and human sacrifice\r\nI'm haunted by the incident night and day\r\nAnd now Christmas is only a few weeks away\r\nBut this year I'm ready, I'm not gonna run\r\n\ufffdCause I went out and bought me a big shot gun\r\nI'm-a wait up all night in my living room\r\nAnd if Vixen comes in then she's gonna go boom\r\nI'm gonna spike the milk till it's 190 proof\r\nI'll start a fire in the fireplace, put land mines on the roof\r\nI'm not gonna repeat what happened last year\r\nI ain't goin' nowhere near another tiny reindeer\r\nShe better understand what I'm talkin' about\r\n\ufffdCause that's one piece of tail I can do without","private":"0","comments":"Adding to my library of songs about strange sex topics (\"Necrophilia\", \"Inflatable Love\", \"Sleep Around\",  \"Masturbate\") this one deals with beastiality.","ralink":"achristmastail.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"6\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"6","cover":"unplugged-cover.jpg","url":"unplugged"},{"id":"58","title":"New Jersey Lifestyle","artist":"2","file":"New_Jersey_Lifestyle.mp3","freemp3":"New_Jersey_Lifestyle.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"My Lifestyle\" by Fat Joe","backgroundcredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 4\";i:2;s:2:\" 2\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"<p>Yeah, Jersey baby!<br>\r\nWelcome to Jersey, ya heard?<br>\r\nYeah, uh!<br>\r\nCan't even pump your own gas here!<br>\r\nYo, yeah yeah, yo...<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I live alone in the armpit of the nation <br>\r\nIn the state with the densest population <br>\r\nThe Garden State, where the gardener wrecks it <br>\r\nI tell people where I live by the exit <br>\r\nJoisey, where hygene's secondary <br>\r\nIf the locals ever saw a real book they'd commit Hari Kari <br>\r\nNeon glow car, chain around the license plate <br>\r\nTwo inches off of the ground, it's like a rollerskate <br>\r\nMe and my neighbors play a game whenever we're at <br>\r\nBaskin Robbins, seein' who can count the most flavors <br>\r\nA-yo, if you're looking for class you're outta luck <br>\r\nThe state symbol is Calvin urinating on a Ford truck <br>\r\nMuscle shirts are considered formal attire <br>\r\nMy neighbor's hobby is to sit for hours watching the drier <br>\r\nAnd at the strip club, is the bride of Frankenstein <br>\r\nWith a back so hairy that it's a crime <br>\r\nBefore you visit that park you best be insured <br>\r\nEveryone I know has come back severely injured <br>\r\nDon't look at me 'cause it's out of my control <br>\r\nPeople disappear for years in our massive pot holes, whoa<\/p> <br>\r\n<br>\r\n<p>[chorus] <br>\r\nYa'll wanna live my lifestyle <br>\r\nNever had a job, never seen a dentist <br>\r\nWanna hang with the boys, go to Wal-Mart <br>\r\nVisit me and I'm-a show you inbred<\/p> <br>\r\n<br>\r\n<p>At least have the state has major brain damage <br>\r\nYou'll get the same replies talking to a ham sandwich <br>\r\nMy next door neighbor only bathes on a Friday <br>\r\nBut every single day he uses soap to wash his driveway <br>\r\nThat's why the first week in July as we speak <br>\r\nIs National Be Nice To New Jersey Week <br>\r\nGod help you if you wanna turn left, you have to be deft <br>\r\nUsually you have to make three rights to go left <br>\r\nAnd get this, if you take the folks on my street <br>\r\nAnd add 'em up maybe you could get a full set of teeth <br>\r\nYou wouldn't believe, but one of 'em forgot how to breathe, so much <br>\r\nHair in their nose you could make your own weave <br>\r\nIt's a last resort, where chickens can be child <br>\r\nSupport, and driving is a contact sport <br>\r\nIt's where malls are considered a shrine, I've lived here <br>\r\nFor three years, I'm fittin' in just fine <br>\r\nIt's a place where kids play the game Name Those Scents <br>\r\nWhere all the garbage gets recycled into lawn ornaments <br>\r\nThe nuts in my town all belong in the pound <br>\r\nEven Smokey the bear said go 'head, burn it down, go on <br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>For years New Jersey has been the butt of many jokes.  Having lived there for several years now I can tell you first hand they deserve it.  I actually have a neighbor who washes his driveway every day with soap.  First he hoses it down.  Then he takes a scrub brush, dips it in a bucket of water, and scrubs his driveway.  Then he rinses it off.  I've never seen anything like it.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"7","cover":"fatal-accident-zone-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-accident-zone"},{"id":"59","title":"Blow Up The Bathroom","artist":"2","file":"Blow_Up_The_Bathroom.mp3","freemp3":"Blow_Up_The_Bathroom.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:4:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";i:2;s:5:\" 37 4\";i:3;s:3:\" 23\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"23\";}","lyrics":"I got a special talent that I love to share\r\nWhen I'm home or goin' out I pollute the air\r\nYou can always tell where I have been and when\r\n'Cause a lot of people never wanna go there again\r\nEarly in the morning, or late at night\r\nI don't decide, it just happens when the time is right\r\nAnd when the time comes you better hope you're not around\r\nWhen I run to the bathroom and go to town, I'm gonna\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nBlow up the bathroom! All night long!\r\nBlow up the bathroom! Man, that's just wrong.\r\nBlow up the bathroom! It's nasty they tell me.\r\nBlow up the bathroom! For the love of God, help me!\r\n\r\nI run to the bathroom and lock myself in\r\nYou hear an earthquake followed by a gust of wind\r\nThen the smart people make a break for the front door\r\nAnd like a bad horror movie others go to explore\r\nMost never come back 'cause they're under attack\r\nBy a smell that can burn the hair off of their back\r\nVery few that go in every manage to survive\r\nAnd if they do they'll need therapy the rest of their lives\r\nI wish that I could tell you how to get rid of the smell\r\nBut nothing that I tried ever worked too well\r\nTo get the steam off the window you can use a squeegee\r\nBut don't light a match or you'll get blown to Fiji\r\nThe best I can suggest is to just stay away\r\nI never jest I'm just trying to keep your hair from turning gray\r\nYou better pray if you're ever in the house with me\r\nBecause my ass can be a real catastrophe, when I\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\nIt starts flowin' and until I reach my quota, I sit there and\r\nExplode-a, like a shaken bottle of soda\r\nWait till you get a load of my load, sometimes it glowed\r\nIt pollutes the abode and the whole area code\r\nThe stench that I produce will stick around for years\r\nYour eyes'll fill up with tears as your stomach switches gears\r\nInto reverse 'cause my curse is utterly perverse\r\nYou better race me to the bathroom and hope you get there first\r\nNuclear fallout's got nothing on my gas\r\nScientists are trying to calculate the half-life of my ass\r\nIf you're next in line, you might have to wait\r\nFor the haz-mat team to decontaminate\r\nOtherwise you might just choke to death\r\nJust imagine that being your very last breath\r\nThat's a death that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy\r\nBut the government wants a new weapon so they're lettin' me\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\nThey tell me what I do is reprehensable\r\nAll I know is that the smell's incomprehensable\r\nWith the size of the you-know-what from my rear end\r\nThat toilet may never flush normally again\r\nA plunger wouldn't help though try as you might\r\nYou might have to use a quarter stick of dynomite\r\nTo disperse the mess that leave in my wake\r\nJust be careful 'cause a handful of that stuff could cause a plague\r\nI'm the best lover your toilet ever had\r\nI'm the reason that New Jersey smells so bad\r\nSo try to keep your distance if you see me around town\r\n'Cause I grunt and I growl and I blow the house down\r\nThe best thing that you can do is to relocate\r\nTo a remote section on the other side of the state\r\nOf all the places in the world the last place you wanna be\r\nIs in the port-a-potty that is right next to me\r\n(chorus)","private":"0","comments":"While driving back from New York City one night I was listening to Hot97.  The DJ, Fat Man Scoop, was talking to a guest in the studio.  Apparently morning show DJ Miss Jones was mad at this guy because he went to visit her and \"blew up her bathroom.\"  They went on for about 15 minutes talking about how \"it's not right to blow up a sister's bathroom like that.\"  I knew this had to be a song.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"7","cover":"fatal-accident-zone-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-accident-zone"},{"id":"60","title":"Star Trek Life","artist":"2","file":"Star_Trek_Life.mp3","freemp3":"Star_Trek_Life.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"Hard Knock Life\" by Jay-Z","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"11\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"11\";}","lyrics":"It's a Star Trek life for us\r\nIt's a Star Trek life for us\r\nSteadda work outs, feed my gut\r\nIt's a Star Trek life\r\n\r\nI'm standin' in a line a-waitin', the new movie\r\nAnd I've been here for a couple days, I'm drivin' a car\r\nThat looks like a Klingon Bird of Prey, I know the exchange\r\nrate to convert dollars to latinum, you know my type\r\nThe perfect complement for when we dine, is Blood Wine\r\nPeople think I'm out of my Vulcan mind, oh well\r\nWhere all my homes with the rubber ears, and fake hair\r\nIt may seem highly illogical, I don't care\r\nI'd love to build a replica of Quark's, we don't dare\r\nGet upset by all the snide remakrs, and funny stares\r\nI put on a Starfleet uniform and strutted, uh-huh\r\nI put on some make-up so my face looked rutted, uh-huh\r\nI grab a B'at L'eth and ack like a hot-head, I met\r\nYou know I'd love to take her out some day, but the Rules\r\nOf Acquision say she'd have to pay\r\n\r\nIt's a Star Trek life for us\r\nIt's a Star Trek life for us\r\nSteada pizza, we eat Gach\r\nSteada Fido, he's Tuvac\r\nIt's a Star Trek life\r\n\r\nMy beer belly hangs out, of the t-shirt\r\nThat I've had since 1983, all faded and stained\r\nWe live at conventions, spendin' my entire pension\r\nI took a pill that made my blood turn green, I prefer that\r\nI go to bed wishin', that I wake up on a five year mission\r\nI had a vision of Gawron, said I have no\r\nHonor, and I'll never get on a girl or two\r\nI want all those cool toys, from the Klingon knives\r\nTo the phasers, transporters, holidecks, and warp drives\r\nAnd it'd be great to let Seven of Nine assimilate me,\r\nGot a phaser for a remote control, deflector dish for my\r\nCereal bowl, lost my keys in a wormhole\r\nMy licence plate reads NC1709-D, \r\nI only wish it could go Warp 3\r\n\r\nIt's a Star Trek life for us\r\nIt's a Star Trek life for us\r\nSteadda papers, read e-zines\r\nSteadda mother-in-law, The Borg Qween\r\nIt's a Star Trek life for us\r\nIt's a Star Trek life for us\r\nSteadda datin', we roll play\r\nSteadda \"good luck\", say Q'apla!\r\nIt's a Star Trek life","private":"0","comments":"I've been a science fiction fan for most of my life.  Star Trek, Dr. Who, I love all of that stuff.  This song was a long time in the making since it took most of my life to come up with the material.  The girls singing on the chorus are my mailman's daughter and one of her friends.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"7","cover":"fatal-accident-zone-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-accident-zone"},{"id":"61","title":"Dead Rappers","artist":"2","file":"Dead_Rappers.mp3","freemp3":"Dead_Rappers.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 26\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"26\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 26\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"30\";}","guests":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"26\";i:1;s:3:\" 30\";}","lyrics":"I'm being haunted by the ghosts of dead rappers from both coasts\r\nPuttin' out albums long after they've decomposed\r\nSo their lyrics are a little behind the times\r\nBut how do they get the dead to write rhymes\r\nSong after song on the radio I hear \r\nIs by a guy who died in the yesteryear\r\nBut it's the best I hear of all the crap on the air\r\nIt's pretty sad when you compare it to those still breathing the air\r\nI've been looking for a deal since I wrote my first song\r\nNow I finally realized what I've been doing wrong\r\nIt's not my cheesy beats or that my lyrics aren't strong\r\nIt's just the simple fact that I've been living too long\r\nDead rappers got records flying off the shelf\r\nSo I might get a deal if I kill myself\r\nThat would pretty much guarantee more airplay\r\nBut I don't think I'd be able to enjoy the extra pay\r\nIt blows me away what the dead are achieving\r\nSilly me thought it'd be tough to rap without breathing\r\nDon't ya know being dead seems to be the way to go\r\nLook there's another dead rapper on the radio\r\n\r\nLivin' or not I gotta give 'em their props\r\nThey've been dead for years, but the rhymin' don't stop\r\nThey'll be back, doesn't matter what the death report is\r\nThrowin' down and bein' hard, but now due to rigor mortis\r\nThat rapper died late last fall, he's still rotting in the hall\r\nBut now he's got gold records on the wall\r\nIt's the dawn of the dead and the dead can rap\r\nStill gettin' paid while taking a dirt nap\r\nAnd in the store you hear the beats cranked high, you look the clerk\r\nIn the eye and say hey didn't this guy die\r\nTheir careers go on even though they're long gone\r\nThere's a signing next week out on Forest Lawn\r\nDead rappers got records on top of the charts\r\nAnd all I got is a degree in the liberal arts\r\nThat means that before I could ever be adored\r\nI'd have to be full of formaldahyde and stiff as a board\r\nI just can't believe what the dead are achieving\r\nHe's overstayed his welcome and he's just not leaving\r\nIt's another bonus for the record label CEO\r\nLook there's another dead rapper on the radio\r\n\r\n\"He be passed on! He has ceased to be!\r\nHomeboy has expired and gone to meet his maker! This is a \r\nlate rapper! They be stiff! Bereft of life, O.G.s rest in peace. \r\nOut!  Metabolical processes are of interest only to historians!\r\nMy man has hopped the twig!  Mofo has shuffled off this mortal \r\ncoil! Running upside the curtain and joined the choir invisible!\r\nIn short, this.... is an EX-RAPPER!\"\r\n\r\nScott LaRock has been dead for like fifteen years\r\nSo he'll probably do a video with Britney Spears\r\nEvery year we hear the news, there goes another one\r\nLined up on Death Row, (Chris: Now that's a big pun)\r\nBig L, Biggie Smalls, all the big rappers get death's\r\nGlance, so Buffy didn't stand a chance\r\nAnd their record labels won't leave well enough alone\r\n'Cause you can't collect royalties on a tombstone\r\nI got some advice for the folks who hate Eminem\r\nDon't kill him, 'cause then you'll never get rid of him\r\nThey'll put out best, worst, and unreleased rhymes\r\nGuest vocals and home videos until the end of time\r\nDead rappers got records flying off the shelf\r\nSo here's a toast to Jay-Z's health\r\nAnd to Puff Daddy, uh, P-Diddy, or whatever\r\nLive long and prosper, hell, live forever\r\n'Cause once they're gone we won't ever be free\r\nNo R.I.P. for R.A.P.\r\nDon't ya know being dead seems to be the way to go\r\nLook there's another dead rapper on the radio\r\n\r\nYo, dawg, that rapper's only mostly dead.  There's a big\r\ndifference between mostly dead and all dead.  Mostly dead is \r\nslightly alive.  Well, with all dead there's usually only\r\none thing you can do.\r\nWhat's what, yo?\r\nGo through his clothes and look for the bling bling!","private":"0","comments":"It amazes me how many songs I hear on the radio by dead people.  I knew I was going to have to write a song about it.  So when Chris Waffle approached me about doing a song together I figured this would be a good topic for the collaboration.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"7","cover":"fatal-accident-zone-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-accident-zone"},{"id":"62","title":"Alien Probes","artist":"2","file":"Alien_Probes.mp3","freemp3":"Alien_Probes.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 15\";}","parodyof":"\"Area Codes\" by Ludacris","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"15\";}","lyrics":"[chorus]\r\nI got probed\r\nI got probed, aboard a UFO (UFO, UFO UFO)\r\nProbed, probed, aboard a UFO (UFO, UFO UFO)\r\n\r\nNow you thought it was just on TV and on the big screen\r\nIt's worldwide, biggest problem that I've ever seen\r\nIt's the intergalactic dog catcher, bug eyed\r\nExtraterrestrial master with a diminutive stature\r\nMen in black, cut up cows\r\nI got crop circles forming out behind my house\r\n9:01, Thursday night was a real hoot\r\nI was dragged out of bed like a dead prostitute\r\nI was brought aboard ship, looked like a Ford truck\r\nStripped down to my drawers, what a run of poor luck\r\nBig gray heads, big black eyes\r\n\"Uh, what's goin' on? What's up guys?\"\r\nThey came at me with a mallet and a big syringe\r\nMetal prongs, big round gears\r\nThey just jammed the thing into my ears\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\nNow every night they pick me up again, just to do a\r\nRoto Rooter on my rear end, leavin' me in pain again\r\nI'm all scarred up, I'm missing teeth\r\n911 thinks I'm a freak\r\nThey shove 'em up my nose, they shove in my butt and\r\nThis corkscrew device gets shoved in my belly button\r\n3 days straight, 2 long probes\r\nShoved in places nothing should go\r\nThey drill holes in my head, and later on\r\nI always wake up back in my bed, and they're gone\r\nWhy do they always pick on people from the south\r\nWhat do they learn by shoving a big plunger in my mouth\r\nMan, after a night of being prodded and poked\r\nI just feel like a guy who had a massive stroke\r\nI got alien troubles out back, and I don't mean\r\nThe type that we can send back\r\n\r\nIs it 'cause they like my trailer park\r\nIs it 'cause they like my beauty mark\r\nIs it 'cause they like my handsome face\r\nIs it 'cause they like the way I taste\r\nWherever I go, they find me\r\nAnd they just won't let me be\r\nThey want me to pee, don't rush me\r\nJust relax and it'll flow free\r\nWhenever I call the Enquirer\r\nTo my house so they can see\r\nYou know that they all stop comin'\r\nSo nobody will believe me\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\nHey, what's that big light in the sky?\r\nOh, come on. Not again, guys.\r\nI just got my nose working again.\r\nWell at least let me bring my camera this time.","private":"0","comments":"The fourth time I was abducted by aliens they returned me to my room and forgot to remove one of their probes.  Let's just say removing it was not something I care to do again.  My psychiatrist suggested I write a song about my experiences as therapy.  I played this song for the aliens.  They got a kick out of it.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"7","cover":"fatal-accident-zone-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-accident-zone"},{"id":"63","title":"Internet Love Connection","artist":"2","file":"Internet_Love_Connection.mp3","freemp3":"Internet_Love_Connection.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 4\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"27\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"27\";}","lyrics":"All of my live I've been called a geek \r\nA loser, a dweeb and a side-show freak \r\nAll the other kids picked on me quite a bit \r\nExcept for the ones who preferred to hit \r\nAlways hated gym class 'cause I wasn't athletic \r\nI was bad at everything, I was really pathetic \r\nWhen we played this one game I always got my ass kicked \r\n(spoken:)You know the one with the ball, and you throw it in a basket \r\nRumors used to circulate that I was queer \r\nI held the school record, most wedgies in a year \r\nBut I was pretty popular amoung the jocks \r\nI mean someone had to carry all of their dirty sweat socks \r\nNeedless to say that I didn't date much \r\nOK, so I've never had a \"date\" as such \r\nMost girls don't wanna be seen with a geek \r\nHad a date for the prom, but she sprung a leak \r\nCollege was fun but my sex life sucked \r\nI studied computers, gonna make big bucks \r\nIt was there that the love of my life and I met \r\nJust me, my little mouse, and the internet \r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nWhen the real world lets you down\r\nAnd it seems like love can't be found\r\nDon't go psycho like Genghis Kahn\r\nJust log on\r\n\r\nI started out tame, lame right off the bat \r\nmostly girls in bikinis, and stuff like that \r\nbut all of that changed when I found a good source \r\nof pictures of a guy with two women and a horse \r\nHours at a time, thirty pictures at once \r\nAll the porn I could handle for twenty bucks a month \r\nI didn't think my life could possibly get any better \r\nMy favorite was a site featuring an irish setter \r\nBut all of that changed when I got an email \r\nFrom a real-life, honest to goodness female \r\nWhy she'd want to talk to me I don't know \r\nBut it gave me a strange feeling down below \r\nSo after I cleaned myself up I replied \r\nAnd made up a bunch of incredible lies \r\nI figured we'd never meet, so what would be the harm \r\nAnd maybe this time around I could use my other arm \r\nShe sent me a picture, and I had to tell her \r\nShe looked exactly like Sarah Michelle Gellar \r\nShe even posed with a stake, it drove me loco \r\nIt even had the Buffy The Vampire Slayer logo \r\nI told her that I couldn't wait to meet her, she replied said she\r\nCouldn't wait either, and she had a high fever\r\nFor the flavor of a messy wet net get-together\r\nShe just got a new tether and some shiny new leather\r\nWe set up a great virtual date\r\nFriday night we'll log on to Instant Messenger at eight\r\nI can't wait, it's the first a girl and I talked\r\nThat didn't end with the phrase \"you want ketchup or salt?\"\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\n\"Well, hello there, BeverlyThrills90210.\"\r\n\"Hey there, big guy.\"\r\n\"Are you really as beautiful as your picture makes you out to be?\"\r\n\"And then some.\"\r\n\"So are you ready for the night of your life?\"\r\n\"What did you have in mind?\"\r\n\r\nWell let's begin with a meeting in cyberspace\r\nWhere you and me can properly interface\r\nWe can chat for a while and if that does the trick\r\nWe can meet somewhere and maybe there we can double-click\r\nOoh, you move fast, I like it when you talk nasty\r\nI can't wait to meet, I bet you got a great ASCII\r\nYou're my type of girl, ooh, you're such a tease\r\nJust bring your hard drive, no floppies please\r\nDon't worry about that, I can burn and rip\r\nAnd I got a big file just for you to unzip\r\n'Cause I'm a hacker in the sack not a slacker comrade\r\nYou just wait till you're sliding 'round on my mouse pad\r\nI hope you're not like other guys whose system bombs\r\nAs soon as I take off my shirt and they see deez roms\r\nNot a chance, I'm-a make you do a sideways smile\r\n'Cause I'm the master when it comes to installing my file\r\nSo how about tonight? What a great suggestion\r\nI'm just sitting here buffering my net congestion\r\n'Cause you know I don't have anything else I have to do\r\nI would love to spend the evening with a lady like you\r\nSo that's how it went, and I think it went fine\r\nNow I'm getting ready for our little meeting at nine\r\nI'm so excited and I know we'll hit it off, you'll see\r\nJust wait till she gets a load of me","private":"0","comments":"Meeting people on line can be a lot of fun but until you meet them in person you really don't know what you're getting yourself into.  This is just one possible \r\nscenario.  I'll leave out the personal details which inspired the song and leave that to your imagination.","ralink":"internetloveconnection.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"7\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"7","cover":"fatal-accident-zone-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-accident-zone"},{"id":"64","title":"Frat Boys","artist":"2","file":"Frat_Boys.mp3","freemp3":"Frat_Boys.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 25\";}","parodyof":"\"Fat Boys\" by The Fat Boys","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"27\";}","guests":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";i:1;s:3:\" 27\";}","lyrics":"Frat boys\r\nFrat boys\r\n\r\nNow we may be inebriated, and somewhat dumb\r\nBut I'll tell you one thing, we can surely come\r\nTo the party, and wreck the house\r\nWon't go home at all, unless they throw us out\r\nSo pass some more booze so I can blow chunks\r\nListen to the cool sounds that we make when we're drunk, ha haa!!\r\n\r\nI-Eta-Pi, Kegga Bru\r\nSigma-Epsilon-Chi, which one is for you\r\nAnd once you pledge your life is mine\r\nYou'll be a brother till the end of time\r\nAnd at the end of the world when the countries start nukin'\r\nEven if it's a fluke, I'll be in the back pukin' in the toilet\r\nTaste just as good comin' back\r\nDon't let it go to waste we're recycling that, tell 'em now\r\nNow I've been a brother since seventy-nine\r\nAnd I'm still in school now even though I'm forty-nine\r\nIt's not a problem 'cause I'm havin' fun\r\nAnd I plan to graduate in two thousand twenty one\r\nBut it ain't no thing 'cause I'm always tan\r\nAnd guaranteed to flunk every final exam\r\nLike M and M's candy will melt in your beer\r\nTo sleep with every girl on campus is why I'm here\r\nNow this Friday might be funky, and maybe even gory\r\nBut I know this for sure it will not be boring\r\n'Cause we're gonna get five hundred kegs\r\nAnd by the time the party's through I won't feel my legs\r\nMy friends are gonna bring rum to the party\r\nSome Peach Tree Schnaaps, and gallons of Bacardy\r\nFunnels on the side, Jello shots in the cup\r\nAnd then I'll start all over after throwin' it up\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nFrat boys\r\nYou know they drink till dawn\r\nFrat boys\r\nThey're puking on my lawn\r\nFrat boys\r\nYou know they drink till dawn\r\nFrat boys\r\nThey're puking on my lawn\r\n\r\nNow life in the frat house is so much fun\r\nIt's just like Congress nothing ever gets done\r\nYou see we get the girls every night\r\nBut I wouldn't use the toilet if you value your life\r\nBut the house is sturdy, the fridge is full\r\nWe got beer made from here, Buffalo, and Nepal\r\nWe're just one big family, a happy crew\r\nAnd all the roaches in the kitchen are brothers too\r\nJust do the right thing and we'll accept you\r\nUnless you're a black man, Hispanic, or Jew\r\nAll you need is to pay your membership fees\r\nWe want caaaaash, please no personal checks\r\nIt's only twelve-hundred dollars every month now\r\nI got a raaaaash, that's your own damn fault\r\nGet off your lazy butt and go down to the vault\r\nWe got lemon and tequila but we're out of salt\r\nSo if you're here to pledge better be prepared\r\nThe prophilactics are here and the sheep are there\r\nWe'll see if you're a man or mouse\r\nYou gotta prove you're a man to get in the frat house\r\n\r\nTo all the lady's in the place I'm ready to go\r\nSo if you wanna have fun just let me know\r\nTwelve at one time, or maybe more\r\nPowered by alcohol, I never get sore\r\nA Budweiser man, a tower full of power\r\nUrinated five times in the last half hour\r\nIt's five past eight, and I'm not drunk yet\r\nI'm behind schedule but I needn't fret\r\n'Cause I drink and I drink while I sing the beer psalm\r\nNever gonna stop until I'm totally bombed\r\nI gag and I belch and I throw up too\r\nOne toilet ain't enough, you're gonna need two\r\nTo hold me, and all the stuff, that I throw up\r\nWhen my stomach erupts, get ready here it comes\r\nBetter watch where it runs...\r\nThe only one in the world who understands, toilet bowl\r\n\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\nNow I'm the one in the frat house in charge of supplies\r\nWe're a beer drinkin', class skippin' couple o' guys\r\nThe house is so dirty that my teeth are brown\r\nAnd I'm the man with the biggest beer gut in town\r\nBut I do plan to get out of here one day\r\nAnd on my diploma it will proudly say\r\nNever went to class, and he barely passed\r\nWas the third from the bottom in the graduating class\r\nForget that, that can wait, bring the beer over here\r\n'Cause I wanna have fun and what's one more year\r\n'Cause education ain't nothing compared to bein' cool\r\nI may be a grandfather by the time I'm out of school\r\n'Cause I'm proud to be in a fraternity\r\nAnd when we have a party it's the place to be\r\nWe're frats we're frats we're obnoxious little brats\r\nAnd we're here for years 'cause our parents paid for that\r\n\r\n(chorus)","private":"0","comments":"Under the guise of \ufffdleadership, friendship, and community service\ufffd fraternities across America take any excuse they can think of to get rip roarin\ufffd drunk.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"7","cover":"fatal-accident-zone-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-accident-zone"},{"id":"65","title":"State Of The Art","artist":"2","file":"State_Of_The_Art.mp3","freemp3":"State_Of_The_Art.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"I took a look at the state of hip hop, and it made my jaw\r\nDrop, 'cause it's mostly just sloppy pop, I've watched the\r\nQuality drop over the years, even the\r\nRap pioneers managed to bring me to tears\r\nIt's like everybody stopped tryin', but people keep\r\nBuyin, which keeps the record companies complyin'\r\nAnd rappers gettin' high and puttin' out this crap\r\nIt's pathetic what passes on the radio as rap\r\nI'm flippin' down the dial then I flip it the bird\r\n'Cause every song that I hear is just totally absurd\r\nIt's about as fresh as a turd, festering\r\nOn the sidewalk as I sit there gesturing\r\nAt the radio like the DJ's can see me\r\nI'm screaming so my windows got steamy\r\nEvery song sounds the same, if they're looking for\r\nFame, why do their records sound so damn lame\r\nThe beat is a cheesy remix or a cheap rip\r\nOff and the rappers come off soundin' soft\r\n'Cause none of it rhymes and it sounds all wrong\r\nIt's like they're rappin' over the beat from the previous song\r\nI get the impression that they really don't care\r\nWhat it sounds like as long as it's played on the air\r\nAnd the record companies'll take care of that part\r\nIt's pretty sad, but that's the state of the art\r\n\r\nEvery album that comes out is worse than the last one\r\nSome curses and a verse about how they're gonna blast one\r\nMumbling the lyrics off instead of really handling\r\nThat way you can't tell that they're really just rambling\r\nAnd most rappers can't even handle that part\r\nSo they get a guest appearance by ever rapper on the charts\r\nAnd when that leaves you feeling all cold and empty\r\nThey just add another verse by a dead MC\r\nRappers now a days come a dozen for a dime\r\nBut true lyricists are nearly impossible to find\r\nI remember a time when I would hear Rakim\r\nAnd say damn, I wanna be just like him\r\nToday it's all about bein' gangstas and pimps\r\nIn real life most of 'em are pranksters and wimps\r\nThe real gansters are out there buying the CDs\r\nThe real pimps are the people in the record companies\r\nSo don't tell me you keep it real 'cause you come off\r\nAbout as real as the integrity at Microsoft\r\nAnd like them you jam it down our throat every day\r\nBut what kills me is it never used to be this way\r\nI ain't sayin' that rap should stay the same for all time\r\nBut the least they can do is make an attempt to rhyme\r\nIt's like they got their lyrics on sale at the Quick-E-Mart\r\nIt's pretty sad, but that's the state of the art\r\n\r\nWhat happen to the rappers who could freestyle, flow\r\nOff the heads of the dome for a little while, goin' wild\r\nOff of the dome for a really long time\r\nAnd hey how about that they would actually rhyme\r\nLegends of the game have faded away\r\nThey can't rip it like they used to back in the day\r\nAnd nobody stepped up to take their place\r\nSo now the race continues on at a lumbering pace\r\nRun-DMC ain't the kings no more\r\nLL's about as funky as a canker sore\r\nWhodini disappeared and Doug E Fresh went stale\r\nAnd I think Sir Mix-A-Lot got into some bad ale\r\nThe Fat Boys broke up and then one of them died\r\nAnd when I heard that, I sat down and cried\r\n'Cause I realized I'd never get to see them perform\r\nIt was the end of an era that I had to mourn\r\nToday's rappers can't cut it like they used to\r\nThere's a couple that I like but I won't say who\r\n'Cause by the time this song is done those people might \r\nSuck, so I'm not gonna press my luck, I'm not trying to\r\nPreach, I'm just venting my frustration\r\nAt the sense of apathy in the hip hop nation\r\nIt's spreadin' all Hova like a rancid fart\r\nIt's pretty sad, but that's the state of the art","private":"0","comments":"This is my token serious song for the album.  Basically I'm just ranting about the sad state of hip hop these days.  But I suppose it's better than \"alternative rock\" where everyone sounds like Pearl Jam.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"7","cover":"fatal-accident-zone-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-accident-zone"},{"id":"66","title":"Superfriends","artist":"2","file":"Superfriends.mp3","freemp3":"Superfriends.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 4\";i:2;s:3:\" 27\";}","parodyof":"\"Ghetto Superstar\" by Pras","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"27\";}","lyrics":"We are superfriends, fighting till the end\r\nWith the Wonder Twins, yes we always win\r\nCome along with us, an adventure 'waits\r\nWe will be ready to rock, uh huh\r\nWith our corny dialog, uh huh\r\n\r\nSome got X-Ray eyes, some fly through the skies\r\nBut these high tech guys always find the best buys\r\nFrom Batman to Superman, Aquaman\r\nThe Green Lantern keeps us nice and tan\r\nWho dares oppose us, the Hall of Justice stars\r\nA million criminals with unlimited Visa cards\r\nBlack Manta, the Legion of Doom\r\nA genetic nightmare, there's no time to lose\r\nI'm from Krypton, Aquaman knows Davey Jones\r\nWonder Woman by my side, how I'd like to jump her bones\r\nStrike with the force of a truck full of stones, but\r\nKryptonite affects me like the sun on ice cream cones\r\nI'm-a lead my friends to victory over the villains\r\nKeeping the peace so you folks can keep \"chilling\"\r\nAll without making a single killing\r\nSo the bad guys can come back for a sequel or a zillion\r\n  \r\nWhen danger calls, we don't pause at all\r\nWe will fight for all, in our underalls\r\nWatch us every week, as we kick some butt\r\nUse my jet and magic lasso, uh huh\r\nThat Lex Luthor's such an... bad guy, uh huh\r\n  \r\nMy ears are pointed, Robin's double jointed\r\nGet any girl I want, but I try not to flaunt it\r\nI bought this new high tech utility belt\r\nThe best one they sell, guaranteed not to melt\r\nI think Robin is swell, but can't stand how he smells\r\nTogether we'll catch the Riddler, put him in a cell\r\nI know we'll get him, cause we're a team\r\nBut I still don't know what Holy Halibut means.\r\nNow Mitzelplix is back, he's a pain in the neck\r\nOnly way to send him back is if he says his name backwards\r\nMan, messin' up my brain like a pound of crack\r\nTurned me into a big flower creature that quacked\r\nGrin like a Cheshire Cat, suit like a jester\r\nBody like an elf, voice like Fran Drescher\r\nDoesn't matter in the end, 'cuase I always win\r\nSend him back to the fifth dimension once again\r\n  \r\nCity's under seige, villains all you see\r\n'Nother crazy scheme, call the Justice League\r\nWe will be right there, to restore the peace\r\nYou can rely on the good guys, uh huh\r\nAnd nobody ever dies, uh huh\r\n  \r\nJust when we thought we were finally done\r\nBrainiac, Bizarro, and the Toyman come\r\nTwo Face, didn't make it into this show\r\nBut we still got the Cheetah, Lex Luthor, and Scarecrow\r\nI installed our new computer today\r\n'Cause our old one had about 32K\r\nThings were going fine, everything was great\r\nTill I went and installed Windows98\r\nNow the damn thing doesn't work at all\r\nAnd we're in debt to our necks from the tech support calls\r\nAnd Robin won't talk to me he's still sore\r\nThat he can't access his porn\r\n\r\nGood old Superfriends, city's one defense\r\nNow when things get tense, we can call our friends\r\nWe will kick some butt, and for free no less\r\nAnd now evil better beware, uh huh\r\n'Cause the Superfriends'll be there, uh huh\r\n  \r\nGood old Superfriends, evil we will fend\r\nIt comes back again, but it never wins\r\nAnd we'll be right here, Till the end of time\r\nAnd nothing can ever stop us, uh huh\r\nTill our show stops making profits, uh huh","private":"0","comments":"Before there was the Justice League (an amazing show on Cartoon Network) there was Superfriends.  This was the show I grew up watching.  The bad acting, bad animation, and silly story lines somehow made for an absolutely incredible show.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"7","cover":"fatal-accident-zone-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-accident-zone"},{"id":"67","title":"Hangnail","artist":"2","file":"Hangnail.mp3","freemp3":"Hangnail.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 4\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"I got a hangnail! What! Got a hangnail! What!\r\nGot a hangnail like you just wouldn't believe\r\nI got a hangnail! What! Got a hangnail! What!\r\nGot a hangnail! And I think it's starting to bleed!\r\n\r\nI got a, hangnail stickin' out my pinky finger\r\nAnd no matter how I pull it there's a tiny piece that lingers\r\nI twist it and I yank- yank, I turn it like a crank- crank\r\nI feel like I'm tryin' to crack a safe at a bank\r\nI never thought that anything so small could be so irritating\r\nFlappy thin and fascinating, cuticle-ly captivating\r\nStill I'm waiting just to find a method for removal\r\nThat's effective, not subjective, and will have my mom's approval\r\nIt gets my full attention till I finally get it off\r\nIt's beyond my comprehension why sometimes it's hard and soft\r\nI don't know where they come from and I don't know where they go\r\nBut do they get the best of me, I gotta say hell no\r\nSometimes it takes my teeth sometimes it takes an act of God\r\nBut I always get it off if it takes off half my bod\r\nSo check out all your fingers if you got one out o' luck\r\nThen you gotta 'gree with me, I tell ya, hangnails suck\r\n\r\nI got a hangnail here! Got a hangnail there!\r\nThey got a cocky attitude and they don't show any fear\r\nI got a hangnail here! Got a hangnail there!\r\nAnd when I pull it off it comes out up to here!\r\n\r\nI got a, hangnail now I'm feelin' kinda odd\r\nNow I'm startin' to get queasey as my finger starts to throb\r\nIt's just a little flapper tell me what could be the harm\r\nI tried to pull it off and it ripped all up my arm\r\nI had a hangnail, there I was drivin' down I-\r\n95 and got it caught in the gear shift and now I'm just \r\nStrivin' to keep my car in the damn lane \r\nAnd restrain the pain and try not to go insane \r\nI got a hangnail, I feel so frail like Mr.\r\nBurns, and my finger burns, it never lears \r\n... hey, what happened to the song?\r\nI got a hangnail so the mix came out wrong \r\nI tell ya, hangnails make it tough to get a date \r\nWhen the women see my fingers they just tend to run away \r\nLike Friday night, started out alright but then declined \r\nWhen the thing broke off and fell in my glass of wine \r\nSo I got rejected, hangnail got infected \r\nNow I'm sittin' home alone pus filled and neglected \r\nPissed at my finger, gonna set the thing straight \r\nIf it doesn't shape up I'm gonna amputate \r\n\r\nI got a hangnail, what, got a hangnail, what \r\nGot a hangnail, another one is starting to grow \r\nI got a hangnail, what, got a hangnail, what \r\nGot a hangnail, another one on my big toe\r\n\r\nI got a hangnail now isn't that a pity \r\nLaunching an investigation and I'm forming a committee \r\nGonna get to the bottom of the problem if I can \r\nSo Let's pay close attention to the matter at hand \r\nActually the matter's at foot this time \r\nGot a hangnail hangin' off my toe this time \r\nHow bad could it be it's just a little flap of skin \r\nYou just gotta yank it out and then that'll be the end \r\nPull it out, no doubt, then I start to scream and shout\r\nThus begins round one of a twelve round bout\r\nIt's stuck in so hard I gotta get a pair of pliers\r\nNow I'm gettin' kinda tired I think my foot is on fire\r\nI gotta get a jackhammer just to dig around the nail\r\nNow I'm gettin' kinda faint because the air is gettin' stale\r\nI didn't use an anastehtic but I'm thinkin' that I should've\r\nNow I got half a mind to just cut my whole foot off\r\nNail clippers do nothing, sandpaper doesn't work\r\nI even tried hedgeclippers, now I'm really gettin' irked\r\nThis has gotta be the most annoying thing I ever saw \r\nI may have to resort to the mighty chainsaw \r\n\r\nI got a hangnail, what, got a hangnail, what \r\nI got a hangnail, causing lots of pain as I walk \r\nI got a hangnail, what, got a hangnail, what \r\nI got a hangnail, I got it caught on my damn sock \r\nI got a hangnail, yeah, got a hangnail, yeah \r\nWhen I finally get 'em out they leave ugly skin trails \r\nI got a hangnail, yeah, got a hangnail, yeah \r\nI only got 10 fingers, I got 40 hangnails!","private":"0","comments":"I wanted to do a hardcore, down and dirty hip hop song about the stupidest topic I could possibly think of.  I came up with a song about hangnails.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"7","cover":"fatal-accident-zone-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-accident-zone"},{"id":"68","title":"Road Ragin'","artist":"2","file":"Road_Ragin.mp3","freemp3":"Road_Ragin.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 13\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"Bawitaba by Kid Rock","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"13\";}","lyrics":"[chorus]:\r\nFoot to the floor, get out the way, ziggin' zaggin'\r\nZiggin' through the traffic and up goes the finger \r\nGet out of my waaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!\r\nComin' through!\r\n\r\nAnd this is for the people who I see while I'm drivin'\r\nWho despite their own stupidity are somehow alive\r\nThe braindead freaks, who refuse to wake up\r\nThe guys who are shaving and the chicks with make up\r\nThe guy behind me in the rear view mirror\r\nFollowing so close I can see his nose hairs\r\nThe moron flying by me changing his clothes\r\nThe guys who only concentrate on picking their nose\r\nAll you punks who make your engines roar\r\nThe hundred year old lady who can't see anymore\r\nThe guy who has to steer with his knees all night\r\n'Cause there's a beer in his left hand and a joint in his right\r\nFor the suicidal freaks tryin' to beat the train\r\nThe guy who made the U-turn from the right hand lane\r\nTheir stupidity's amazing, I'm completely stunned\r\nNow get off the road before you kill someone!\r\n[chorus]\r\n\r\nI wish I had a nickel that somebody would give me\r\nFor every time a moron on the phone nearly hit me\r\nWild antics in parking lots \r\nThey'd run over their own daughter just to get a good spot\r\nAnd guys who stare at an accident \r\nEven if it's nothin' but a little 2 inch dent \r\nWhile you're lookin' at the crash, you're bound to cause one \r\nNow get off the road before you kill someone\r\n[chorus]\r\n\r\nHey watch it, buddy!\r\nYeah same to you!\r\nYou go to Hell!\r\nDIE!!","private":"0","comments":"It's absolutely amazing how bad people drive.  One time I actually saw a guy make a U turn from the right hand lane across six lanes of traffic cutting off five other cars in the process.  So when \"road rage\" became the media's phrase of the month I figured I'd jump on the bandwagon and write a song.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"7","cover":"fatal-accident-zone-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-accident-zone"},{"id":"73","title":"Business As Usual","artist":"2","file":"Business_As_Usual.mp3","freemp3":"Business_As_Usual.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:4:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";i:1;s:2:\"37\";i:2;s:1:\"4\";i:3;s:3:\" 33\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"33\";}","lyrics":"[intro]\r\n(Tom): OK people, let's get this meeting started. \r\nOur first order of business is to find out who \r\nbrought the Krispy Kreme donuts.\r\n(Marci): I have them. They're right here.\r\n(Tom): Ah, excellent. And the coffee?\r\n(Jeff): Right here.\r\n(Tom): Good. Now, let's talk about this expense \r\nreport. (Takes a bite.) Can someone tell me how the \r\nhell we spent eight million dollars last year on \r\ncoffee and donuts?\r\n(All at the same time): I dunno\/ Beats me\/ I have no idea\/ etc.\r\n(Tom): Well as you know...\r\n\r\n[verse 1]\r\nOur platform for real-time solutions is facing\r\nRetribution from a government probe, I propose\r\nThat we leverage the front-end architecture from those\r\nInfrastructures and engineer a new solution next year\r\nThat will enable us to implement the integrated\r\nNetwork our engineering team has innovated\r\nHowever, due to Asian market value deflation\r\nWe will undergo a massive reorganization\r\nAll the engineers will be summarily dismissed\r\nAnd we'll hire two more manageers to oversee this\r\nI understand we'll be short-handed but don't pay it any mind\r\nWe can expedite the partnerships and fix the bottom line\r\nThis will drive all the B2B initiatives\r\nTo redefine the value-added metrics of the mission, it'll\r\nGenerate a killer paradigm so we can guide 'em\r\nThrough delivery of all the cross-platform action-items\r\nCollaborative efforts for the e-market experiences\r\nReinvents a frictionless and synergistic variance\r\nAllowing us to maximize the strategies that may arrise\r\nAnd minimize the risks to our e-sollution enterprise\r\n\r\n(Tom): Any questions?\r\n(Jeff): Just one...\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\n(All): What the HELL did he say? (Steve): I think he's making up words\r\n(All): What the HELL did he say? (Thom): Using nouns as verbs\r\n(Steve): You can leverage anything if it's phrased the right way\r\nBut I still wanna know (All): What the HELL did he say?\r\n\r\n(Tom): Now, we need to have a meeting so we can prepare \r\nfor our next meeting. Should we schedule a meeting to set that up?\r\n(Marci): I don't think we have enough donuts for that.\r\n\r\n[verse 2]\r\nThe organization will be more organized if we can\r\nEmbiggen our members with a cromulent plan\r\nWhich management can expedite and leverage to us both\r\nThen we'll orchestrate the schema which will maximize our growth\r\nWe need to synthesize some vertical technologies\r\nTo harness the holistic web services of all of these\r\nAnd utilizes the visionary systems to produce\r\nSome eye-catching web services for interoffice use\r\nThe ubiquitous nature of the back-end interfaces\r\nNeed a proactive portal that we can put through its paces\r\nFrom that will evolve a cutting-edge e-business\r\nWhich will harness the best-of-breed seeds of our existence\r\nOur methodologies to implement this plan\r\nRequires scalable synergistic ways to meet demand\r\nBut I believe with the power of the open-source, proprietary\r\nServices, that we can make a mark that will be legendary\r\nOur mindshare will reach the targeted amount\r\nOnce the virtual deployment has finished rolling out\r\nWe'll get a huge ROI, and some more jelly donuts\r\nAnd then I'll give myself a huge bonus\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\n(Tom): OK. Now, I have a PowerPoint presentation here \r\nwhich better illustrates what I just spoke about. \r\nSee here we have a circle, two squares, and a\r\nbunch of arrows. If we connect the circle to the first \r\nsquare you'll see that we can bypass the triangles. \r\nAnd that will save the company millions. ","private":"0","comments":"This is basically just the minutes of several meetings I had to attend when I worked at a multimedia company.  The real meetings lasted for several hours, but I didn't want to put a song that long on the album.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2004-05-27","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"9","cover":"die-laughing-cover.jpg","url":"die-laughing"},{"id":"75","title":"Give It To Everybody","artist":"2","file":"Give_It_To_Everybody.mp3","freemp3":"Give_It_To_Everybody.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 42\";}","parodyof":"\"I Know What You Want\" by Busta Rhymes","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"42\";}","lyrics":"<p>[intro]<br><br>\r\nShorty, I don't know what you got<br>\r\nBut I got everything you can think of<br>\r\nAnd a couple things the doctors never heard of<br>\r\nAnd I'm-a give it all to you baby<br>\r\nIt's on, bust it<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus]<br>\r\nBeverly just gave it to me, I'll give it to you<br>\r\nI know what I got, and now you got it (repeat)<br>\r\nBenjamen just gave it to me, I gave it to you<br>\r\nYou gave it to her, and now we got it (repeat)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 1]<br>\r\nI've been developing a few sores, shared a few whores<br>\r\nCalled a couple call-girls, with coupons from the sex stores<br>\r\nWe did it on the bus, all 23 of us<br>\r\nAlways busy gettin' busy, and now I'm oozing pus<br>\r\nI know you got infected, walkin' all funny now<br>\r\nYou're gettin' crusty scabs, and a couple runny ones<br>\r\nStayin' healthy is overrated, what's the big deal<br>\r\nJust get a quick shot that'll eradicate it<br>\r\nTo really be honest I don't remember all the girls I'm seein'<br>\r\nCan't even express the words how much it hurts peein'<br>\r\nI just stand on the john feelin' woozy<br>\r\nAnd I know something's wrong because there's just a little oozing<br>\r\nBut this won't slow us down, we gon' sex every day<br>\r\nAnd I'll make you scream my name in a spectacular way<br>\r\nGot you so worked up that you will be speaking in tongues<br>\r\nNevermind that you might end up with blood in your lungs<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus]<br>\r\nJessica just gave it to John, he gave it to Sue,<br>\r\nWho gave it to me, and now you got it (repeat)<br>\r\nJohnathan just gave it to Kim, she gave it to Mike<br>\r\nWho gave it to me, and now you got it (repeat)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 2]<br>\r\nI can see the infection and how it move through you<br>\r\nI guess I waited too long to tell the truth to you<br>\r\nListen, all the burning and the cramps and diahrrea<br>\r\nLooks like you have got a little of my gonorrhea<br>\r\nI never meant to put a million bacteria on your body<br>\r\nIt's a funny thing I guess those condoms were pretty shoddy<br>\r\nBaby, I'll get some new ones, ribbed and flavored however you want 'em<br>\r\nI promise no more ones with Spongebob printed on 'em<br>\r\nWe started out strong fell deeply in love<br>\r\nWe did everything together but I guess we've had enough<br>\r\nWent from sex marathons that got listed in Guinness<br>\r\nTo neighbors, to strip clubs, to hookers, to clinics<br>\r\nLook what's happened, now I have to use a crutch<br>\r\nWord is bond, never knew that I could vomit so much<br>\r\nAs lovers we're just posing, infected like a nose ring<br>\r\nDay after day watching my crotch decomposing<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus]<br>\r\nJulie-Anne just gave it to Bob, who did Jill and Jean, <br>\r\nwho shared it with me, and now you got it (repeat)<br>\r\nAnthony just gave it to me, I gave it to you<br>\r\nYou spread it around, so we all got it (repeat)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[bridge]<br>\r\nYes you know I cheat on you (got the clap)<br>\r\nAnd now you're infected too (got the clap)<br>\r\nIf you tell me I can stay (got the clap)<br>\r\nI'll go to the clinic Saturday<br>\r\nI have cheated on you too<br>\r\nAnd gave a couple things to you<br>\r\nOh baby I can't help but be with others<br>\r\n'Cause most of those guys are better lovers<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 3]<br>\r\nI pull up to the clinic and I feel a bit queasy<br>\r\nI come every week so for me this is easy<br>\r\nIt's hot outside but I feel like I'm freezing<br>\r\nGot a strange growth on my balls looking cheesey<br>\r\nNo matter what I do I just can't stop sneezing<br>\r\nCoughing, aching, stuffy head, and wheezing<br>\r\nGot some bad cramps that are making me uneasy<br>\r\nBleeding out my ass and it makes me feel greasy<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus]<br>\r\nSarah Jane just gave it to Sam, who gave it to Meg<br>\r\nWho gave it to me, and now you got it (repeat)<br>\r\nChristopher just gave it to Peg, who slept with some guy<br>\r\nWho gave it to me, don't know his name though (repeat)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[outro]<br>\r\nWay too reckless.  <br>\r\nThis stuff hurts, man.  <br>\r\nI'm swearing off women for good.  <br>\r\nHey who's that?  She's pretty cute.  <br>\r\nHey c'mere baby.  What's your name?\t<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"A parody of \"I Know What You Want\" by Busta Rhymes featuring Mariah Carey, about a certain STD we all know and love.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2007-04-12","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"29\";i:1;s:3:\" 17\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"10","cover":"fatal-error-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-error"},{"id":"76","title":"Lose Your Suit","artist":"2","file":"Lose_Your_Suit.mp3","freemp3":"Lose_Your_Suit.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"'Lose Yourself' by Eminem","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"<p>[intro]<br \/>\r\nLook.  If you had... one shot... to hide<br> \r\neverything you've ever stolen... in one<br> \r\nSwiss bank account... would you do it...<br> \r\nor would you crack under the pressure?<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 1]<br> \r\nHis brow is sweaty, knees weak, heart is heavy<br> \r\nHe might have wet his pants already, warm and messy<br> \r\nHe's terrified, petrified, but he keeps his voice steady<br> \r\nAnd stays cool, despite the time he might be getting<br> \r\n'Cause he wrote down a whole lot of notes and now<br> \r\nSomeone found out, incriminating notes around<br> \r\nThey poke around, a couple people joke around<br> \r\nThe feds abound, time to call a lawyer, NOW!<br> \r\nStock drops like morality, OOH, he's all raggedy<br> \r\nOOH, ah dagnabit, he's broke, what a tragedy<br> \r\nNope, it don't matter, he stole the whole platter<br> \r\nHe told the whole matter to dopes who turned rat<br> \r\nCEO's can get mad when they probe his body cavity<br> \r\nGoes to the back to expose his whole duality<br> \r\nBack in the cab again, lawyers are rabid<br> \r\nHe better go back to court and hope he can bribe 'em<br> \r\n  <br> \r\n[chorus]<br> \r\nYou better - hide yourself from the lawsuits, the moment<br> \r\nYou own up, to it, whatever you have done (done)<br> \r\nYour company's stock price can drop like Gene Siskel's thumb<br> \r\nAnd you can end up in jail for a lifetime (repeat)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 2]<br> \r\nHands are shaking, his heart beats like it's quaking<br> \r\nThey found the data he was faking, breaking<br> \r\nWind, as they move toward a bogus order<br> \r\nA prison life assured of, he tries to bargain<br> \r\nAs they move toward him, he fakes the fed's jargon<br> \r\nHe begs like Rover, plays dead and rolls over<br> \r\nThe cuffs are put on him, they dig through his files<br> \r\nTo find some more fodder, where it goes God only<br> \r\nKnows, from the shredder, there goes the last letter<br> \r\nHis clothes will soon be a couple shades redder<br> \r\nHe's been exposed like the cheap hoes by the water<br> \r\nHe knows he's going somewhere, and it ain't the Ramada<br> \r\nIt feels worse than dealing with H.M.O.s nothing<br> \r\nSlows this armada, and so the stockholder are<br> \r\nBroke, and it blows, his replacement's no smarter<br> \r\nAnd the soundtrack plays on dum da-dum dum (Dragnet theme)<br> \r\n(chorus)<\/p> \r\n\r\n<p>[verse 3]<br> \r\nNot a trace, he's thinkin' with a cocky face<br> \r\nFound the paper trail to hell in a locked briefcase<br> \r\nAll the files on his computer were not erased<br> \r\nHe's been chewed up and spit out like some kid's paste<br> \r\nBut he keeps thinkin' he'll sneak away like a viper<br> \r\nBest believe something here stinks like a diaper<br> \r\nAssistant testifies so they'll probably just fine her<br> \r\nCall it in coppers, tango one niner<br> \r\nFive million dollars he stole at one timer he<br> \r\nUsed to play golf 'cause he likes the little balls<br> \r\nNow he's got a big shiner, there's no room service<br> \r\nNo comfortable recliner, fifteen to life<br> \r\nHe works out in the yard of the prison where he barters<br> \r\nAnd his parents were so proud to see him in the police blotter<br> \r\nCaught up between being a plumber and being somebody's<br> \r\nBaby-momma, gonna try to sneak in his favorite feet pajamas<br> \r\nStay in this spot until the day that he rots<br> \r\nHe's gotten into the joint without no bail, he squats<br> \r\nOn a little pot, now he has to sleep on a cot<br> \r\nHe used to be the big dog, now he's a dacshund, no more yacht<br> \r\nGets some lovin' 'cause this sailor's hot for him<br> \r\nHe can not take much more action shots<br> \r\nSo he's debating the plot, plea-bargain or not<br> \r\nThis may be the only opportunity that he's got<br> \r\n(chorus)<\/p>","private":"1","comments":"This is a song about the scandals that have rocked corporate America. You know, Enron and all those types. I'm trying to match the original lyrics as\r\nclosely as possibly as far as rhyme goes. ","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2003-05-01","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"77","title":"Mr. Wanna Be Gangsta Rapper","artist":"2","file":"Mr._Wanna_Be_Gangsta_Rapper.mp3","freemp3":"Mr._Wanna_Be_Gangsta_Rapper.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 15\";}","parodyof":"\"Real Men Of Genius\" Bud Light ads","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"15\";}","lyrics":"Star and Bucwild present... real men of genius.\r\n(\"Real men of genius.\")\r\nToday we salute you, Mr. Wannabe Gangsta Rapper.\r\n(\"Mr. Wannabe Gangsta Rapper.\")\r\nArmed with nothing but a pen and a pad you convince \r\nthousands of people you're armed with things that don't even exist.\r\n(\"Watch out for my M-300-X-50!\")\r\nPimpin', never done it. The hood, never been there. \r\nAnd bustin' caps? Not even sure what it means. \r\nBut that won't stop you from writing a rhyme about it.\r\n(\"Bang! Bang! Shoot 'em up, n***a die slow!\")\r\nRest assured that the only thing going \"pop\" around you \r\nare kernels of popcorn.\r\n(\"Pop pop pop!\")\r\nSo crack open an icey cold 40-ounce, Mr. Faker of the Funk. \r\nAnd remember, if you feel a burning sensation \r\nit's not because you've been shot. \r\nIt's because you need one.\r\n(\"Mr. Wannabe Gangsta Rapper.\")","private":"1","comments":"This is a skit I recorded and sent to Star and Bucwild at Hot97. As far as I know they didn't use it. It's a parody of those \"Real Men Of Genius\" Bud Light ads you hear on the radio. I love those ads.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2003-01-02","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"78","title":"Pop Star","artist":"2","file":"Pop_Star.mp3","freemp3":"Pop_Star.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"Wanksta\" by 50 Cent","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"37\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"[Intro] \r\nOK, who's next?\r\nHi, My name's Jason.\r\nAnd I'm going to sing Somewhere Over The Rainbow.\r\nOK. Go for it.\r\n(Really bad) Somewhere over the rainbow\/ Way over there\r\nOh dear Lord...\r\n   \r\n[verse 1] \r\nYou think you's a pop star, but you need to stop singin' \r\nI think you should leave now, till my ears have stopped ringin' \r\nYou can't sing worth shit, and you can't dance worth shit \r\nWhat makes you think that if you cut a song it'd be a hit \r\nWe do this all the time, some people soundin' fine \r\nBut others sound like they're committing sins against mankind \r\nThis girl she looks fine, she wants to get signed \r\nHer mouth opens and it sounds like gears when they grind \r\nI tell them all the time, send shivers down my spine \r\nThey start to bitch and whine, and tell me I'm a swine \r\nThey think they sound like gold, and I'm the one they loathe \r\nBut they're all screamin' like they leaned against a hot stove \r\nSo I send them away, and they all feel betrayed \r\nBut even Paula doesn't have anything nice to say \r\n   \r\n[chorus] \r\nYou think you's a pop star, but you need to stop singin' \r\nI think you should leave now, till my ears have stopped ringin' \r\nWhen you try to hit a note, you sound like a sea lion \r\nYou been singin' for your whole life, you need to stop tryin' (repeat) \r\n   \r\n[verse 2] \r\nDamn homie, you sound like \r\nA dying lamb, homie, the hell's up with that? \r\nAnd then up next is Loretta, and I'm sorry I met her \r\n'Cause when she finished her song, I thought I'd need a rib spreader \r\nShe thinks that she can do better, sing just like Eddie Vedder \r\nShe thinks I'm out to get her, like I had a vendetta \r\nShe look good, but she howls like an Irish Setter \r\nShe's trying to start the song over but there's no way I'm-a let her \r\nGet out now, stop the bleeding, don't wanna hear another word \r\n'Cause you're the worst singer that I think I've ever heard \r\nI've heard enough now, I'm suicidal \r\nAnd she still thinks she's the next American Idol \r\n   \r\n(chorus) \r\nYou think you's an idol, but your sound is all dull \r\nAwful and an eyefull, stole your style from Paula \r\nYou know that she's washed up, and that you're no heart-throb \r\nYou are absolutely ghastly, don't quit your day job \r\n                                                              \r\n[verse 3] \r\nMe I'm no monster, me I'm not raptor \r\nMe I'm not mentor, me I'm just me, me \r\nMe I'm no singer, me I'm no actor \r\nBut it's me who owns the record company \r\nNow your singing baby was a total mess \r\nYou sang flatter than Ally McBeal's chest \r\nAnd yet you think that you're good, and ready for prime time \r\nBut there's no future for you, well maybe as a mime \r\nLosers sayin' that they don't like Simon Cowell \r\nIs it because I kinda sound like Thurston Howell? \r\nOr is it 'cause they know success takes more than just luck \r\nAnd they know I'm right when I tell them they all suck \r\n\r\n(chorus) \r\nYou think you's a pop star, but you need to stop buggin' \r\nIf you keep on singin', I'm-a put my ear plugs in \r\nYou ruined my favorite song, even screwed up the title \r\nYou're a disgrace, you're no American Idol\r\nNext! ","private":"0","comments":"I can only imagine what the judges would say if I tried out for American Idol.  The phrase \"crimes against humanity\" comes to mind.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2003-05-01","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"78","title":"Pop Star","artist":"2","file":"Pop_Star.mp3","freemp3":"Pop_Star.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"Wanksta\" by 50 Cent","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"37\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"[Intro] \r\nOK, who's next?\r\nHi, My name's Jason.\r\nAnd I'm going to sing Somewhere Over The Rainbow.\r\nOK. Go for it.\r\n(Really bad) Somewhere over the rainbow\/ Way over there\r\nOh dear Lord...\r\n   \r\n[verse 1] \r\nYou think you's a pop star, but you need to stop singin' \r\nI think you should leave now, till my ears have stopped ringin' \r\nYou can't sing worth shit, and you can't dance worth shit \r\nWhat makes you think that if you cut a song it'd be a hit \r\nWe do this all the time, some people soundin' fine \r\nBut others sound like they're committing sins against mankind \r\nThis girl she looks fine, she wants to get signed \r\nHer mouth opens and it sounds like gears when they grind \r\nI tell them all the time, send shivers down my spine \r\nThey start to bitch and whine, and tell me I'm a swine \r\nThey think they sound like gold, and I'm the one they loathe \r\nBut they're all screamin' like they leaned against a hot stove \r\nSo I send them away, and they all feel betrayed \r\nBut even Paula doesn't have anything nice to say \r\n   \r\n[chorus] \r\nYou think you's a pop star, but you need to stop singin' \r\nI think you should leave now, till my ears have stopped ringin' \r\nWhen you try to hit a note, you sound like a sea lion \r\nYou been singin' for your whole life, you need to stop tryin' (repeat) \r\n   \r\n[verse 2] \r\nDamn homie, you sound like \r\nA dying lamb, homie, the hell's up with that? \r\nAnd then up next is Loretta, and I'm sorry I met her \r\n'Cause when she finished her song, I thought I'd need a rib spreader \r\nShe thinks that she can do better, sing just like Eddie Vedder \r\nShe thinks I'm out to get her, like I had a vendetta \r\nShe look good, but she howls like an Irish Setter \r\nShe's trying to start the song over but there's no way I'm-a let her \r\nGet out now, stop the bleeding, don't wanna hear another word \r\n'Cause you're the worst singer that I think I've ever heard \r\nI've heard enough now, I'm suicidal \r\nAnd she still thinks she's the next American Idol \r\n   \r\n(chorus) \r\nYou think you's an idol, but your sound is all dull \r\nAwful and an eyefull, stole your style from Paula \r\nYou know that she's washed up, and that you're no heart-throb \r\nYou are absolutely ghastly, don't quit your day job \r\n                                                              \r\n[verse 3] \r\nMe I'm no monster, me I'm not raptor \r\nMe I'm not mentor, me I'm just me, me \r\nMe I'm no singer, me I'm no actor \r\nBut it's me who owns the record company \r\nNow your singing baby was a total mess \r\nYou sang flatter than Ally McBeal's chest \r\nAnd yet you think that you're good, and ready for prime time \r\nBut there's no future for you, well maybe as a mime \r\nLosers sayin' that they don't like Simon Cowell \r\nIs it because I kinda sound like Thurston Howell? \r\nOr is it 'cause they know success takes more than just luck \r\nAnd they know I'm right when I tell them they all suck \r\n\r\n(chorus) \r\nYou think you's a pop star, but you need to stop buggin' \r\nIf you keep on singin', I'm-a put my ear plugs in \r\nYou ruined my favorite song, even screwed up the title \r\nYou're a disgrace, you're no American Idol\r\nNext! ","private":"0","comments":"I can only imagine what the judges would say if I tried out for American Idol.  The phrase \"crimes against humanity\" comes to mind.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2003-05-01","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"9","cover":"die-laughing-cover.jpg","url":"die-laughing"},{"id":"79","title":"Rest Home Gangstas","artist":"2","file":"Rest_Home_Gangstas.mp3","freemp3":"Rest_Home_Gangstas.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:1:\"2\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"23\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"23\";}","lyrics":"[intro]\r\n(Gangsta): Yeah! Real thugs nevah die! Know'-m sayin'?! \r\nNevah give up the life muthaf--kah! Gangstas fah life!\r\n(Nurse): Yes, of course, Mr. Jackson. \r\nNow it's time for your sponge bath.\r\n(Gangsta): Bitch you holdin' out on me?! \r\nI'll smack yo' ass into next week you don't give me what's mine!\r\n(Nurse): Ooh, somebody's cranky. Did you miss your nap today?\r\n\r\n[verse 1]\r\nI'm a rough and tumble thug, slangin' drugs, I'm a hardcore\r\nGangsta, bangin' on my block with my buds\r\nPimpin' girls with big jugs, I'm that type, I sell\r\nThe big guns, but I can't wipe myself\r\nI'm ninety-seven years old, got an artificial hip\r\nWith corrective shoes, walk with a gangsta limp\r\nGold chains, gold teeth, and I shine 'em till they gleem\r\nGot gold plated knobs on my oxygen machine\r\nLoosen up my straps when it's time to take a nap\r\nGet a bottle of medicine and I'll bust its cap\r\nGo full throttle down the hall where you see me in\r\nMy low-ridin' wheel chair with the twenty inch rims\r\nGive me lip and I'll knock out your teeth, and I won't\r\nGive 'em back till I put 'em beneath my ass crack\r\nChew on that for a while, and then you'll know why\r\nWe mean it when we say real G's never die\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nI get a daily sponge bath from a beautiful staff\r\nThat's the life of a retired gangsta!\r\nI run the halls of the home like the emperor of Rome\r\nDon't mess with a retired gangsta!\r\nI sell pills that can beat anything on the street\r\nThat's the life of a retired gangsta!\r\nAnd I don't take no flack so just stay the hell back\r\nDon't mess with a retired gangsta!\r\n\r\n[break]\r\nYeah bitch! You betta give me mah money! \r\nI'll slap the I.V. outta you! \r\n\r\n[verse 2]\r\nI got bitches and hoes lined up into rows\r\nBut it's a pity that their titties hang down to their toes\r\nThey're just pretty little grandmas shakin' their bods\r\nAnd the Parkinsons means they give the best hand jobs\r\nYou can decide how she looks when she arrives\r\nBlonde, brunette, dentures or glass eyes\r\nAll my my women have skin with a delightful texture\r\nIf you need a pacemaker though, that'll be extra\r\nWhen I used to work the streets my hoes were strung up on crack\r\nNow I give 'em all Demerol and Prozac\r\nAnd if they pull out their backs you get an extra half hour\r\nJust be sure you ventilator doesn't run out of power\r\nSome of the girls think they're too old to strip\r\nBut I don't wanna hear no lip 'bout your afraid to break a hip\r\nJust because we're in a rest home don't mean you can rest, ho\r\nGet your ass outta that dress, work your chest, ho!\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\n[bridge]\r\nOld school playa and i have to confess that these\r\nBiddies look pretty with their sunday best down on the\r\nFloor bunched around thier ankles, they get\r\nA sponge bath daily so that they dont stank\r\nThey've got more lined up in the ICU\r\nThey may not see you, but theres nothin they cant do\r\n'Cept get over the flu, or get outta bed\r\nSo when youre thru, check her pulse to make sure she aint dead\r\n\r\n[verse 3]\r\nMy hoes love me though 'cause I'm quite the dynamo\r\nJust plug in the defibulator and away we go\r\nWe do a little foreplay with my removable teeth\r\nSo I can bite her in places other people can't reach\r\nThis is the life, no one cares if I reek\r\nI don't even have to get out of bed to take a leak\r\nAnd I never have to walk, got a motorized chair\r\nWith hydraulics and a twenty inch rim on the spare\r\nI run everything on the second floor\r\nFrom the vending machines down toward the cancer ward\r\nAnd I defend what's mine with the power of my nine\r\nEvery time, and I remind 'em with a nursery rhyme\r\n(music breaks down) Stupid mothahf--kah got in my way\r\nStupid mothahf--kah got shot today\r\nAll the home's doctors and all the home's nurses\r\nCouldn't do sh-t, 'cept call for some hearses\r\n(pause)\r\n(chorus)","private":"0","comments":"Picture NWA and the rest of the gangsta rappers in 50 or 60 years when they're stuck in a rest home, in a wheel chair with 20 inch rims, pimping the 90 year old grandmas who'll give you a great gumming, and battling over rival gang turf in the rest home.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"79","title":"Rest Home Gangstas","artist":"2","file":"Rest_Home_Gangstas.mp3","freemp3":"Rest_Home_Gangstas.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:1:\"2\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"23\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"23\";}","lyrics":"[intro]\r\n(Gangsta): Yeah! Real thugs nevah die! Know'-m sayin'?! \r\nNevah give up the life muthaf--kah! Gangstas fah life!\r\n(Nurse): Yes, of course, Mr. Jackson. \r\nNow it's time for your sponge bath.\r\n(Gangsta): Bitch you holdin' out on me?! \r\nI'll smack yo' ass into next week you don't give me what's mine!\r\n(Nurse): Ooh, somebody's cranky. Did you miss your nap today?\r\n\r\n[verse 1]\r\nI'm a rough and tumble thug, slangin' drugs, I'm a hardcore\r\nGangsta, bangin' on my block with my buds\r\nPimpin' girls with big jugs, I'm that type, I sell\r\nThe big guns, but I can't wipe myself\r\nI'm ninety-seven years old, got an artificial hip\r\nWith corrective shoes, walk with a gangsta limp\r\nGold chains, gold teeth, and I shine 'em till they gleem\r\nGot gold plated knobs on my oxygen machine\r\nLoosen up my straps when it's time to take a nap\r\nGet a bottle of medicine and I'll bust its cap\r\nGo full throttle down the hall where you see me in\r\nMy low-ridin' wheel chair with the twenty inch rims\r\nGive me lip and I'll knock out your teeth, and I won't\r\nGive 'em back till I put 'em beneath my ass crack\r\nChew on that for a while, and then you'll know why\r\nWe mean it when we say real G's never die\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nI get a daily sponge bath from a beautiful staff\r\nThat's the life of a retired gangsta!\r\nI run the halls of the home like the emperor of Rome\r\nDon't mess with a retired gangsta!\r\nI sell pills that can beat anything on the street\r\nThat's the life of a retired gangsta!\r\nAnd I don't take no flack so just stay the hell back\r\nDon't mess with a retired gangsta!\r\n\r\n[break]\r\nYeah bitch! You betta give me mah money! \r\nI'll slap the I.V. outta you! \r\n\r\n[verse 2]\r\nI got bitches and hoes lined up into rows\r\nBut it's a pity that their titties hang down to their toes\r\nThey're just pretty little grandmas shakin' their bods\r\nAnd the Parkinsons means they give the best hand jobs\r\nYou can decide how she looks when she arrives\r\nBlonde, brunette, dentures or glass eyes\r\nAll my my women have skin with a delightful texture\r\nIf you need a pacemaker though, that'll be extra\r\nWhen I used to work the streets my hoes were strung up on crack\r\nNow I give 'em all Demerol and Prozac\r\nAnd if they pull out their backs you get an extra half hour\r\nJust be sure you ventilator doesn't run out of power\r\nSome of the girls think they're too old to strip\r\nBut I don't wanna hear no lip 'bout your afraid to break a hip\r\nJust because we're in a rest home don't mean you can rest, ho\r\nGet your ass outta that dress, work your chest, ho!\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\n[bridge]\r\nOld school playa and i have to confess that these\r\nBiddies look pretty with their sunday best down on the\r\nFloor bunched around thier ankles, they get\r\nA sponge bath daily so that they dont stank\r\nThey've got more lined up in the ICU\r\nThey may not see you, but theres nothin they cant do\r\n'Cept get over the flu, or get outta bed\r\nSo when youre thru, check her pulse to make sure she aint dead\r\n\r\n[verse 3]\r\nMy hoes love me though 'cause I'm quite the dynamo\r\nJust plug in the defibulator and away we go\r\nWe do a little foreplay with my removable teeth\r\nSo I can bite her in places other people can't reach\r\nThis is the life, no one cares if I reek\r\nI don't even have to get out of bed to take a leak\r\nAnd I never have to walk, got a motorized chair\r\nWith hydraulics and a twenty inch rim on the spare\r\nI run everything on the second floor\r\nFrom the vending machines down toward the cancer ward\r\nAnd I defend what's mine with the power of my nine\r\nEvery time, and I remind 'em with a nursery rhyme\r\n(music breaks down) Stupid mothahf--kah got in my way\r\nStupid mothahf--kah got shot today\r\nAll the home's doctors and all the home's nurses\r\nCouldn't do sh-t, 'cept call for some hearses\r\n(pause)\r\n(chorus)","private":"0","comments":"Picture NWA and the rest of the gangsta rappers in 50 or 60 years when they're stuck in a rest home, in a wheel chair with 20 inch rims, pimping the 90 year old grandmas who'll give you a great gumming, and battling over rival gang turf in the rest home.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"9","cover":"die-laughing-cover.jpg","url":"die-laughing"},{"id":"99","title":"CGI","artist":"2","file":"CGI.mp3","freemp3":"CGI.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";i:1;s:1:\"4\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"[chorus]\r\nWe don't need a plot we got CGI!\r\nWe don't need a plot we got CGI!\r\nWe don't need a plot we got CGI!\r\nWe don't need a plot we got CGI!\r\n\r\nWe got a writer a director and a nice set of boobs\r\nA hundred million dollar budget tell me how can we lose\r\nWe got everything we need to make this movie a smash\r\nExcept a story, characters, and that kind of trash\r\nWe only even need one actor this time\r\nHe doesn't even have to act 'cause we'll dub all his lines\r\nAnd he really only needs to be there for the screen test\r\nWe'll do it on a green screen and we'll animate the rest\r\nThen we'll digitally make him look like Ben Afleck\r\nAnd put him up against a big Playstation graphic\r\nWe gotta do it cheap so we don't have to do it well\r\nSo we'll just make it fast and blurry so you really can't tell\r\nWe got a plot hole the size of the Grand Canyon\r\nAnd the chick won't show her boobs so we'll have to use a stand-in\r\nComputer magic will now let us pretend\r\nIt was on purpose and supposed to look that way in the end\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\nCrossovers are the latest craze the fans are chasin'\r\nAlien versus Predator, and Freddy versus Jason\r\nWe gotta get a part of this market while it's hot\r\nSo quick run down a list of all the characters we got\r\nThey did Puppet Master versus Demonic Toys\r\nMaybe we can do Buffy versus the Lost Boys\r\nOr maybe put her up against Blade unarmed\r\nOr make it a cat fight with the chicks from Charmed\r\nWe'll put Lawnmower Man in a remake of Tron\r\nHobits could go up against the Leprechaun\r\nWe can whip up an alien that's quite a looker\r\nFor Star Trek 12: Kirk versus T.J. Hooker\r\nWe need something hotter, so I know that we gotta\r\nPut Sabrina The Teenage Witch on a date with Harry Potter\r\nCould be scary, could be funny, could use an evil bunny\r\nMix it like a meat grinder it'll make us lots of money\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\n\"Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.\"\r\n\"Here, what's what sign say?\"\r\n\"Hollywood.\"\r\n\"Hollywood?!\"\r\n\"Oh no!\"\r\n\"I hear all they make is sequels...\"\r\n\"... and remakes...\"\r\n\"... and flops...\"\r\n\"... oh my!\"\r\n\"Sequels and remakes and flops, oh my!\r\nSequels and remakes and flops, oh my!\r\nSequels and remakes and flops, oh my!\r\nSequels and remakes and flops, oh my!\"\r\n\r\nWe're out of ideas, I mean we got nothin'\r\nBut the sequels and the prequels and the spin-offs that we stuck in\r\nFor us to have a future it's absolutely vital\r\nThat people like films with \"part seven\" in the title\r\nComic books can be an atomic force so we should get\r\nA list of all the comics that haven't been a movie yet\r\nI got one, and it hasn't been done\r\nArchie Comics: The Movie, starring Owen Wilson\r\nOr we could redo a foreign film once more\r\nBecause it can't be subtitled, no one reads anymore\r\nThe live action Garfield was a total flop\r\nBut I'm hearing good things about the Marmaduke plot\r\nWe'll do a teen sex comedy with a star who's thirty-three\r\nBut there can't be any sex we need it rated PG\r\nSo cut out all the silicon, even if it makes\r\nA plot hole big enough to be seen from space\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\nWe turn out crappier and crappier movies every time\r\nJust wait till you see Police Academy 9\r\nAnd if you don't like it there's nothing you can do\r\nWe own the movie studios, and the theaters, too!  Ha!  \r\n(laughing)","private":"0","comments":"I am constantly amazed at the total lack of creativity that permeates through Hollywood.  And people are surprised that I enjoy so many independent films.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"9","cover":"die-laughing-cover.jpg","url":"die-laughing"},{"id":"81","title":"Spam","artist":"2","file":"Spam.mp3","freemp3":"Spam.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";i:1;s:2:\" 1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"Original, plus \"Stand\" by REM and \"Slam\" by Onyx","backgroundcredit":"a:4:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";i:2;s:2:\" 4\";i:3;s:3:\" 15\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"15\";}","lyrics":"[verse 1]\r\nI got seven hundred messages, three are from friends\r\nWho try to guilt me into sending their crap back to them\r\nAll the rest, I would guess, are some kind of a scam\r\nThat prevails in my mail in the form of spam\r\nThere's an African queen and I'm the one she'd select\r\n'Cause she's got twenty-million dollars that she has to protect\r\nShe can't wait and would appreciate a timely answer\r\nAnd all she needs is my bank number for the transfer\r\nSure, oh yeah, that sounds totally legit\r\nAnd here's my ATM card in case you need it\r\nI can't belive that people fall for this shit, it really sucks\r\nThat last year these little pricks made a hundred million bucks\r\nLook I won a free vacation to Hawaii\r\nAll they need is my credit card number to verify\r\nWell I'll just type that in for you right now\r\nRight after Hell freezes, and as time will allow\r\nTrue, interest rates are at an all-time low\r\nI'm no financial genius, but one thing I know\r\nI'm better off gettin' money from my dear old Mom\r\nThan from sexy chick three at hotmail dot com\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nSpam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam\r\n(gradually get louder and repeat 3 times)\r\nGlorius spam, oh wonderful spam!\r\n\r\n[verse 2]\r\nThese people don't know who I am and they don't\r\nGive a damn about me they just give me spam\r\nSo you can see what to me's a major source, of my aggra-\r\nVation why these people think I need so much Viagra\r\nAnd what's with all the offers for a penis enlarger\r\nSome even come with a battery charger\r\nHere's a two-for-one offer, I don't know about you\r\nBut what the hell am I supposed to do with two?\r\nHere's another chick who wants to meet me on line\r\nFor a one-on-one chat, it's just twelve ninety-nine\r\nShe included a picture, says her name is Barbie\r\nBut for that price we could chat during dinner at Arby's\r\nI can work from home, and I can get rich quick\r\nI can buy some stupid herb so that I'll never get sick\r\nAnd if I act quick I'll get a paper or somethin'\r\nThat'll show me how to buy meds from Canada for nothin'\r\nIt's amazing that these folks are so concerned about my health\r\nConsidering when I had a flat no one stopped to help\r\nBut I can think for myself so I'm not falling for squat\r\nWhether they can get me free gay porn or not\r\n[chorus]\r\n\r\n[break, a couple quick parodies]\r\n\r\n(sung to \"Stand\" by REM)\r\nSpam in my inbox at work\r\nGet rich quick\r\nThink about the folks who send it\r\nWonder why they don't have a life\r\nSpam in my inbox at home\r\nFree hot porn\r\nThink about the stuff I'm getting\r\nWonder who these freaks think I am\r\n\r\n(Sung to \"Slam\" by Onyx)\r\nSpam!  Du-duh-duh!  Duh-duh-duh!\r\nYou can work from home!\r\nSpam!  Du-duh-duh!  Duh-duh-duh!\r\nGet a low rate loan!\r\nSpam!  Du-duh-duh!  Duh-duh-duh!\r\nTake an on-line course!\r\nSpam!  Du-duh-duh!  Duh-duh-duh!\r\nSee a girl and a horse!\r\n\r\n[verse 3]\r\nIt all seemed to be the same till one day I got\r\nA really strange one I didn't know whether to believe or not\r\nHe claimed to be a time traveler with a broken field regulator\r\nWho needed a new dimensional warp generator\r\nHuh, that's a new one, I didn't know what to say\r\n'Cause I had just bought a used one that day on ebay\r\nI might have let him have it but I know what they're worth\r\nAnd he didn't have any money that was good on Earth\r\nSo I'm gonna keep it, see if I can make it work\r\nI wanna travel to the future, visit Captain Kirk\r\nSo until he gets some money that I know I can trust\r\nHe can rot in two-thousand four like the rest of us\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\nOK, let's see.  \r\nI've got a message from my mother, my cousin, Dave, and spam.  \r\nSpam, my sister, Traci, and spam.  \r\nSpam, spam, spam, Luke Ski's newsletter, and spam.  \r\nSpam, spam, spam, spam, spam, some \r\nstupid crap from my boss, and spam.  \r\nSpam, spam, spam, oh look somebody bought an album, and spam.  \r\nSpam, spam, spam... \r\n(build chorus in background)\r\nGlorius spam, oh wonderful spam!","private":"0","comments":"Spam has proven to be quite an inspiration for comedy musicians lately.  This is my take on the situation.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2004-03-24","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"81","title":"Spam","artist":"2","file":"Spam.mp3","freemp3":"Spam.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";i:1;s:2:\" 1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"Original, plus \"Stand\" by REM and \"Slam\" by Onyx","backgroundcredit":"a:4:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";i:2;s:2:\" 4\";i:3;s:3:\" 15\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"15\";}","lyrics":"[verse 1]\r\nI got seven hundred messages, three are from friends\r\nWho try to guilt me into sending their crap back to them\r\nAll the rest, I would guess, are some kind of a scam\r\nThat prevails in my mail in the form of spam\r\nThere's an African queen and I'm the one she'd select\r\n'Cause she's got twenty-million dollars that she has to protect\r\nShe can't wait and would appreciate a timely answer\r\nAnd all she needs is my bank number for the transfer\r\nSure, oh yeah, that sounds totally legit\r\nAnd here's my ATM card in case you need it\r\nI can't belive that people fall for this shit, it really sucks\r\nThat last year these little pricks made a hundred million bucks\r\nLook I won a free vacation to Hawaii\r\nAll they need is my credit card number to verify\r\nWell I'll just type that in for you right now\r\nRight after Hell freezes, and as time will allow\r\nTrue, interest rates are at an all-time low\r\nI'm no financial genius, but one thing I know\r\nI'm better off gettin' money from my dear old Mom\r\nThan from sexy chick three at hotmail dot com\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nSpam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam\r\n(gradually get louder and repeat 3 times)\r\nGlorius spam, oh wonderful spam!\r\n\r\n[verse 2]\r\nThese people don't know who I am and they don't\r\nGive a damn about me they just give me spam\r\nSo you can see what to me's a major source, of my aggra-\r\nVation why these people think I need so much Viagra\r\nAnd what's with all the offers for a penis enlarger\r\nSome even come with a battery charger\r\nHere's a two-for-one offer, I don't know about you\r\nBut what the hell am I supposed to do with two?\r\nHere's another chick who wants to meet me on line\r\nFor a one-on-one chat, it's just twelve ninety-nine\r\nShe included a picture, says her name is Barbie\r\nBut for that price we could chat during dinner at Arby's\r\nI can work from home, and I can get rich quick\r\nI can buy some stupid herb so that I'll never get sick\r\nAnd if I act quick I'll get a paper or somethin'\r\nThat'll show me how to buy meds from Canada for nothin'\r\nIt's amazing that these folks are so concerned about my health\r\nConsidering when I had a flat no one stopped to help\r\nBut I can think for myself so I'm not falling for squat\r\nWhether they can get me free gay porn or not\r\n[chorus]\r\n\r\n[break, a couple quick parodies]\r\n\r\n(sung to \"Stand\" by REM)\r\nSpam in my inbox at work\r\nGet rich quick\r\nThink about the folks who send it\r\nWonder why they don't have a life\r\nSpam in my inbox at home\r\nFree hot porn\r\nThink about the stuff I'm getting\r\nWonder who these freaks think I am\r\n\r\n(Sung to \"Slam\" by Onyx)\r\nSpam!  Du-duh-duh!  Duh-duh-duh!\r\nYou can work from home!\r\nSpam!  Du-duh-duh!  Duh-duh-duh!\r\nGet a low rate loan!\r\nSpam!  Du-duh-duh!  Duh-duh-duh!\r\nTake an on-line course!\r\nSpam!  Du-duh-duh!  Duh-duh-duh!\r\nSee a girl and a horse!\r\n\r\n[verse 3]\r\nIt all seemed to be the same till one day I got\r\nA really strange one I didn't know whether to believe or not\r\nHe claimed to be a time traveler with a broken field regulator\r\nWho needed a new dimensional warp generator\r\nHuh, that's a new one, I didn't know what to say\r\n'Cause I had just bought a used one that day on ebay\r\nI might have let him have it but I know what they're worth\r\nAnd he didn't have any money that was good on Earth\r\nSo I'm gonna keep it, see if I can make it work\r\nI wanna travel to the future, visit Captain Kirk\r\nSo until he gets some money that I know I can trust\r\nHe can rot in two-thousand four like the rest of us\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\nOK, let's see.  \r\nI've got a message from my mother, my cousin, Dave, and spam.  \r\nSpam, my sister, Traci, and spam.  \r\nSpam, spam, spam, Luke Ski's newsletter, and spam.  \r\nSpam, spam, spam, spam, spam, some \r\nstupid crap from my boss, and spam.  \r\nSpam, spam, spam, oh look somebody bought an album, and spam.  \r\nSpam, spam, spam... \r\n(build chorus in background)\r\nGlorius spam, oh wonderful spam!","private":"0","comments":"Spam has proven to be quite an inspiration for comedy musicians lately.  This is my take on the situation.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2004-03-24","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"11","cover":"technobabble-cover.jpg","url":"technobabble"},{"id":"81","title":"Spam","artist":"2","file":"Spam.mp3","freemp3":"Spam.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";i:1;s:2:\" 1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"Original, plus \"Stand\" by REM and \"Slam\" by Onyx","backgroundcredit":"a:4:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";i:2;s:2:\" 4\";i:3;s:3:\" 15\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"15\";}","lyrics":"[verse 1]\r\nI got seven hundred messages, three are from friends\r\nWho try to guilt me into sending their crap back to them\r\nAll the rest, I would guess, are some kind of a scam\r\nThat prevails in my mail in the form of spam\r\nThere's an African queen and I'm the one she'd select\r\n'Cause she's got twenty-million dollars that she has to protect\r\nShe can't wait and would appreciate a timely answer\r\nAnd all she needs is my bank number for the transfer\r\nSure, oh yeah, that sounds totally legit\r\nAnd here's my ATM card in case you need it\r\nI can't belive that people fall for this shit, it really sucks\r\nThat last year these little pricks made a hundred million bucks\r\nLook I won a free vacation to Hawaii\r\nAll they need is my credit card number to verify\r\nWell I'll just type that in for you right now\r\nRight after Hell freezes, and as time will allow\r\nTrue, interest rates are at an all-time low\r\nI'm no financial genius, but one thing I know\r\nI'm better off gettin' money from my dear old Mom\r\nThan from sexy chick three at hotmail dot com\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nSpam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam\r\n(gradually get louder and repeat 3 times)\r\nGlorius spam, oh wonderful spam!\r\n\r\n[verse 2]\r\nThese people don't know who I am and they don't\r\nGive a damn about me they just give me spam\r\nSo you can see what to me's a major source, of my aggra-\r\nVation why these people think I need so much Viagra\r\nAnd what's with all the offers for a penis enlarger\r\nSome even come with a battery charger\r\nHere's a two-for-one offer, I don't know about you\r\nBut what the hell am I supposed to do with two?\r\nHere's another chick who wants to meet me on line\r\nFor a one-on-one chat, it's just twelve ninety-nine\r\nShe included a picture, says her name is Barbie\r\nBut for that price we could chat during dinner at Arby's\r\nI can work from home, and I can get rich quick\r\nI can buy some stupid herb so that I'll never get sick\r\nAnd if I act quick I'll get a paper or somethin'\r\nThat'll show me how to buy meds from Canada for nothin'\r\nIt's amazing that these folks are so concerned about my health\r\nConsidering when I had a flat no one stopped to help\r\nBut I can think for myself so I'm not falling for squat\r\nWhether they can get me free gay porn or not\r\n[chorus]\r\n\r\n[break, a couple quick parodies]\r\n\r\n(sung to \"Stand\" by REM)\r\nSpam in my inbox at work\r\nGet rich quick\r\nThink about the folks who send it\r\nWonder why they don't have a life\r\nSpam in my inbox at home\r\nFree hot porn\r\nThink about the stuff I'm getting\r\nWonder who these freaks think I am\r\n\r\n(Sung to \"Slam\" by Onyx)\r\nSpam!  Du-duh-duh!  Duh-duh-duh!\r\nYou can work from home!\r\nSpam!  Du-duh-duh!  Duh-duh-duh!\r\nGet a low rate loan!\r\nSpam!  Du-duh-duh!  Duh-duh-duh!\r\nTake an on-line course!\r\nSpam!  Du-duh-duh!  Duh-duh-duh!\r\nSee a girl and a horse!\r\n\r\n[verse 3]\r\nIt all seemed to be the same till one day I got\r\nA really strange one I didn't know whether to believe or not\r\nHe claimed to be a time traveler with a broken field regulator\r\nWho needed a new dimensional warp generator\r\nHuh, that's a new one, I didn't know what to say\r\n'Cause I had just bought a used one that day on ebay\r\nI might have let him have it but I know what they're worth\r\nAnd he didn't have any money that was good on Earth\r\nSo I'm gonna keep it, see if I can make it work\r\nI wanna travel to the future, visit Captain Kirk\r\nSo until he gets some money that I know I can trust\r\nHe can rot in two-thousand four like the rest of us\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\nOK, let's see.  \r\nI've got a message from my mother, my cousin, Dave, and spam.  \r\nSpam, my sister, Traci, and spam.  \r\nSpam, spam, spam, Luke Ski's newsletter, and spam.  \r\nSpam, spam, spam, spam, spam, some \r\nstupid crap from my boss, and spam.  \r\nSpam, spam, spam, oh look somebody bought an album, and spam.  \r\nSpam, spam, spam... \r\n(build chorus in background)\r\nGlorius spam, oh wonderful spam!","private":"0","comments":"Spam has proven to be quite an inspiration for comedy musicians lately.  This is my take on the situation.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2004-03-24","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"9","cover":"die-laughing-cover.jpg","url":"die-laughing"},{"id":"82","title":"What The Hell Is This?","artist":"2","file":"What_The_Hell_Is_This?.mp3","freemp3":"What_The_Hell_Is_This?.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Sudden Death presents... What The Hell Is This?\r\n\r\nThis edition of What The Hell Is This is brought to you \r\nby Missy \"Misdemeanor\" Elliot.\r\n\r\nWha-was that?\r\n\r\nUm, what the hell is a holly berry?\r\nHolly is that green crap you hang around your house\r\nat Christmas time that makes people sneeze.\r\nHalle Berry is a light-skinned bitch who thinks\r\nher tits are worth fifty-thousand dollars.\r\nI believe that might be what you're talking about.\r\nBut since you asked, no Missy, you don't look \r\nanything like Hally Berry.\r\n\r\nOf course if you're talking about looking like the poster,\r\nposters are flat and wide, so I guess I can see the resemblence.\r\n\r\nThis is Devo Spice of Sudden Death with a What The Hell Is This.\r\nUntil next time.","private":"1","comments":"A skit for the Star and Bucwild morning show about Missy Elliot's mispronounciation of Halle Berry's name.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2002-11-01","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"97","title":"I Heart New York","artist":"2","file":"I_Heart_New_York.mp3","freemp3":"I_Heart_New_York.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"New York\" by JaRule","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"(chorus 1)\r\nI got a hundred-twenty parking tickets\r\nWhile I was in New York (New York)\r\nI seen a semi that didn't quite fit\r\nOn the streets of New York (New York)\r\nI paid a hundred dollars for a hamburger\r\nWhile I was in New York (New York)\r\nBut only paid twenty bucks for a Rolex\r\nOn the streets of New York (New York)\r\nAnd I know\r\n\r\n(verse 1)\r\nI've visited Brooklyn, Manhattan, and Staten\r\nIsland, the Bronx and Queens, now it's time to leave\r\nBut I do believe I'm goin' back to see\r\nA couple hundred of my closest friends on New Year's Eve\r\nMy attire, is outdated by two weeks\r\nMy left shoe squeaks, my right shoe reeks\r\nI guess I'll have to go back to the city\r\nAnd pay another seven fifty to the highway committee\r\nLook, how they get around, amazingly\r\nThey survive, cabs drivin' at the speed of sound\r\nTryin' to find a couple people to get in their car\r\nWhile proudly showin' off their cab's latest battles scar\r\nI don't really understand how the trains get around\r\nI'm a tourist and usually end up gettin' off uptown\r\nLeave me out there lookin' for Mr. Rourke\r\n'Cause it's a fantasy up here in New York\r\n\r\n(chorus 2)\r\nThere's a hundred cabs on every block\r\nRight here in New York (New York)\r\nUnless you need one then you'll probably have to walk\r\nAll over New York (New York)\r\nAnd you can't drive without seein' hot chicks\r\nWalk around in New York (New York)\r\nI got a hundred dings a hundred nicks\r\nWhile I was in New York (New York)\r\n\r\n(verse 2)\r\nMaybe I'll take in a movie today\r\nHey there's a movie theater, thirty bucks for a matinee\r\nAnd I was gonna get some popcorn, but then I saw\r\nThe price and figured I could get a years worth of porn\r\nAnd everybody's walkin' 'round like their feets on fire\r\nAnd if you talk to them they treat you like you're wearin' a wire\r\nNot me I drive stunningly, with my hand on the\r\nHorn like no way is your ass gettin' in front of me\r\nTrue story I'm drivin' from the west\r\nHand to go north but I couldn't turn left\r\nI went straight without looking, and now I can't go\r\nBack because I'm goin' on a bridge into Brooklyn\r\nI like to go block to block\r\nAnd see how close I can get to the people on the crosswalk\r\nSeen street signs hangin' after the turn\r\nIt's like \"No, you wanted to go that way, when will you learn?\"\r\n\r\nI crossed a hundred tolls a hundred bridges\r\nWhile I was in New York (New York)\r\nI seen a pimp with a hundred bitches\r\nAnd one was way too short (too short)\r\nI had to double-park and didn't get a ticket\r\nSo I give thanks to You, Lord (You Lord)\r\nBut the guy I blocked told me where I could stick it\r\nRight here in New York (New York)\r\n\r\nSo you live in the city, that must be nice\r\nDependin' on where you're livin', you might get lice\r\nFound a ten by ten apartment by word of mouth\r\nYour rent for two or three months could probably buy a house\r\nNow the twenty-third floor is your new hub, but when the stupid\r\nElevator's out it's a sadistic health club\r\nStreets show no mercy, and you know that they say that\r\nYou deserved it whenever you get lost in New Jersey\r\nThe traffic in the tunnel, it gets me ticked\r\nThey randomly close lanes down just for kicks\r\nAnd there's bridges every mile that barely function\r\n'Cause every single damn one of 'em is under construction\r\nPeople beg for money with a certain flair\r\nI caught a subtle hint of some vomit in the air\r\nAnd it won't come as a surprise, no way\r\nWhen I tell you I was robbed by a Girl Scout today\r\n\r\n(chorus 4)\r\nI seen a hundred people take a leak\r\nWhile I was in New York (New York)\r\nAnd you can tell the way the people speak\r\nThat I must be in New York (New York)\r\nI found a hundred places to buy pot\r\nWhile I was in New York (New York)\r\nBut I could never find a parking spot\r\nWhile I was in New York (New York)","private":"0","comments":"I live in New Jersey but I visit New York quite a bit.  I decided to write this song after the second time I accidentally found myself on a bridge going into Brooklyn.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2004-12-23","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"97","title":"I Heart New York","artist":"2","file":"I_Heart_New_York.mp3","freemp3":"I_Heart_New_York.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"New York\" by JaRule","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"(chorus 1)\r\nI got a hundred-twenty parking tickets\r\nWhile I was in New York (New York)\r\nI seen a semi that didn't quite fit\r\nOn the streets of New York (New York)\r\nI paid a hundred dollars for a hamburger\r\nWhile I was in New York (New York)\r\nBut only paid twenty bucks for a Rolex\r\nOn the streets of New York (New York)\r\nAnd I know\r\n\r\n(verse 1)\r\nI've visited Brooklyn, Manhattan, and Staten\r\nIsland, the Bronx and Queens, now it's time to leave\r\nBut I do believe I'm goin' back to see\r\nA couple hundred of my closest friends on New Year's Eve\r\nMy attire, is outdated by two weeks\r\nMy left shoe squeaks, my right shoe reeks\r\nI guess I'll have to go back to the city\r\nAnd pay another seven fifty to the highway committee\r\nLook, how they get around, amazingly\r\nThey survive, cabs drivin' at the speed of sound\r\nTryin' to find a couple people to get in their car\r\nWhile proudly showin' off their cab's latest battles scar\r\nI don't really understand how the trains get around\r\nI'm a tourist and usually end up gettin' off uptown\r\nLeave me out there lookin' for Mr. Rourke\r\n'Cause it's a fantasy up here in New York\r\n\r\n(chorus 2)\r\nThere's a hundred cabs on every block\r\nRight here in New York (New York)\r\nUnless you need one then you'll probably have to walk\r\nAll over New York (New York)\r\nAnd you can't drive without seein' hot chicks\r\nWalk around in New York (New York)\r\nI got a hundred dings a hundred nicks\r\nWhile I was in New York (New York)\r\n\r\n(verse 2)\r\nMaybe I'll take in a movie today\r\nHey there's a movie theater, thirty bucks for a matinee\r\nAnd I was gonna get some popcorn, but then I saw\r\nThe price and figured I could get a years worth of porn\r\nAnd everybody's walkin' 'round like their feets on fire\r\nAnd if you talk to them they treat you like you're wearin' a wire\r\nNot me I drive stunningly, with my hand on the\r\nHorn like no way is your ass gettin' in front of me\r\nTrue story I'm drivin' from the west\r\nHand to go north but I couldn't turn left\r\nI went straight without looking, and now I can't go\r\nBack because I'm goin' on a bridge into Brooklyn\r\nI like to go block to block\r\nAnd see how close I can get to the people on the crosswalk\r\nSeen street signs hangin' after the turn\r\nIt's like \"No, you wanted to go that way, when will you learn?\"\r\n\r\nI crossed a hundred tolls a hundred bridges\r\nWhile I was in New York (New York)\r\nI seen a pimp with a hundred bitches\r\nAnd one was way too short (too short)\r\nI had to double-park and didn't get a ticket\r\nSo I give thanks to You, Lord (You Lord)\r\nBut the guy I blocked told me where I could stick it\r\nRight here in New York (New York)\r\n\r\nSo you live in the city, that must be nice\r\nDependin' on where you're livin', you might get lice\r\nFound a ten by ten apartment by word of mouth\r\nYour rent for two or three months could probably buy a house\r\nNow the twenty-third floor is your new hub, but when the stupid\r\nElevator's out it's a sadistic health club\r\nStreets show no mercy, and you know that they say that\r\nYou deserved it whenever you get lost in New Jersey\r\nThe traffic in the tunnel, it gets me ticked\r\nThey randomly close lanes down just for kicks\r\nAnd there's bridges every mile that barely function\r\n'Cause every single damn one of 'em is under construction\r\nPeople beg for money with a certain flair\r\nI caught a subtle hint of some vomit in the air\r\nAnd it won't come as a surprise, no way\r\nWhen I tell you I was robbed by a Girl Scout today\r\n\r\n(chorus 4)\r\nI seen a hundred people take a leak\r\nWhile I was in New York (New York)\r\nAnd you can tell the way the people speak\r\nThat I must be in New York (New York)\r\nI found a hundred places to buy pot\r\nWhile I was in New York (New York)\r\nBut I could never find a parking spot\r\nWhile I was in New York (New York)","private":"0","comments":"I live in New Jersey but I visit New York quite a bit.  I decided to write this song after the second time I accidentally found myself on a bridge going into Brooklyn.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2004-12-23","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"9","cover":"die-laughing-cover.jpg","url":"die-laughing"},{"id":"83","title":"10th Anniversary Song","artist":"2","file":"10th_Anniversary_Song.mp3","freemp3":"10th_Anniversary_Song.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Yes me, I'm the man with too much time on my hands\r\nI sell tapes even though there's almost no demand\r\nI write rhymes even though none of my rhymes sell\r\nI take showers even though it won't help the smell\r\nDo it in my basement, cheap equipment\r\nAte all the Doritos, need another shipment\r\nFound another sample, wrote a new song\r\nRecorded it 32 times and it still came out wrong\r\nIt was way too long and the vocals too low\r\nAnd I think the tape deck is running a little slow\r\nThis song is even hurting my ears\r\nWe haven't been creative in ten long years\r\n\r\nTime was made to be wastes\r\nBelches were made to be tasted\r\nNoses were made to run\r\nSudden Death was made to have fun\r\nSo we do it like this even when the people diss, I use \r\nThe Death Flower and ask 'em if they piss in the shower\r\nI act polite and preceed with caution\r\nThen I bust a rhyme and I try to brainwash 'em\r\nSales of the tapes are painfully slow\r\nNow I'm back where it started ten years ago\r\nTo relive the death we put in our rhyme\r\nAnd to see how little we've improved over time\r\nSo let's take a trip back into the past\r\nWhen we started a group we didn't think would last\r\nIf you paid any money that was your mistake\r\nNow welcome to the tenth anniversary tape","private":"0","comments":"This song was recorded exclusively for our 10th anniversary tape \"A Decade of Decay\" as an introductory track.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"5\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"84","title":"Infection","artist":"2","file":"Infection.mp3","freemp3":"Infection.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"38\";i:1;s:3:\" 21\";}","parodyof":"\"Perfection\" by Run-DMC","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"21\";}","lyrics":"Infection's my job, I must be valiant\r\nI'm a germ that was born with a natural talent\r\nI enter your body then I put up a fight\r\nNo mistake I'll make you puke all night\r\nI'll throw your body out of synch, your eyes'll turn pink\r\nYour head'll swell, and your feet'll stink\r\nMy buddy's a tapeworm, make your stomach squirm\r\nI'm a funky fresh germ that'll give you heartburn\r\nMy name is Mucus Rappincoccus this is where'll I'll stay\r\nAnd if things are going steady you'll fart all day\r\nInfection\r\nInfection\r\nInfection\r\nInfection\r\n\r\nYou'll get a kidney stone, cancer of the liver\r\nMy buddy goes up your nose and it runs like a river\r\nYour H.E.A.D. will feel like T.N.T.\r\nYou'll get strep, a yep, and missing teeth\r\nI killed your dog, cat, your mouth, and rat\r\nYour fly went bye-bye, now I'll make you fat\r\nI'll infect your body just as fast as I can\r\nAnd when I'm done you'll look like the Elephant Man\r\nInfection\r\nInfection\r\nInfection\r\nInfection\r\n\r\nI may struggle, I won't quit\r\nI'll find a new place and give you a zit\r\nIt takes hard work to make you feel like this\r\nIt's my job 'cause I'm an infectionist\r\nInfection\r\nInfection\r\nInfection\r\nInfection","private":"0","comments":"The very first Sudden Death song ever recorded.  It was recorded when we had no instruments or recording equipment to speak of.  We used the open air mic that came with a boom box (which we still have) to record the song.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"5\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"85","title":"Big 'N Round Girl","artist":"2","file":"Big_N_Round_Girl.mp3","freemp3":"Big_N_Round_Girl.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"Around The Way Girl\" by L.L. Cool J","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 37\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"I want a girl with gravitational pull\r\nBig as a cow, but not mean as a bull\r\nA couple chins and a big behind\r\nThat's what I need to make the girlie all mine\r\nShe can waddle down the street talk with her mouth full\r\nI love it when the woman spits food on the floor\r\nStanding at the bus stop inhaling a lollipop\r\nOne she starts eating you can't make the hottie stop\r\nShe likes to dance to the rap song\r\nBut she always breaks the floor 'cause her legs are too strong\r\nPrune wrinkled complexion, sits around the town\r\nLet's hear it for the girl she's big and round.\r\n[chorus]\r\nI need a big 'n round girl\r\nThat's the one for me\r\nI need a big 'n round girl\r\n\r\nDusted, rusted, her smile's like a skeleton's\r\nThat's why I had to dedicate this one\r\nTo all the cuties grazing in my back yard\r\nIf I didn't feed you then you'd probably starve\r\nYou eat all my sugar straight out of the jar\r\nGonna panic if I see you getting into my car\r\nBoy you're fat, but at least you got nice looking hair\r\nEven your cat is as big as a bean bag chair\r\nYou can break chairs and manipulate food\r\nOr drink Welches then belch and act totally rude\r\nYou always know where the food can be found\r\nCold flip when you find a new diner in town\r\nNot cheap or petty, just constantly hungry\r\nYou shower once a month so you smell real funky\r\nBut if you ever wanna fit in this world\r\nGo on a diet girl\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\nYou bleached your hair just as white as you can\r\nNow you look like the abominable snow man\r\nI tell you come here and you say no way\r\n'Cause you run out of breath and pass out half way\r\nAround the way you ripped all your jeans\r\nAll the little kids use it for a trampoline\r\nYou wear a parachute for your biker shorts\r\nWhile you're chillin' in the restaurant eating foods of all sorts\r\nGoing to the movies getting stuck in the door\r\nWhile the business men in suits are throwing up on the floor\r\nFake hair flappin', both lips chappin'\r\nYou broke the toilet, it was bound to happen\r\nWe can go out and eat real well\r\nI got a lot more fat jokes to tell\r\nLisa, Angela, get out of town\r\nBefore you get flattened, she's big and round\r\n(chorus)","private":"0","comments":"This is one of the hundred or so songs we recorded before we released Dead Things Can Rap Too.  I've always liked it and I wanted to include it on that album, but I decided not to because of the horrible singing.\r\n\r\nI decided to include it on A Decade of Decay because I wanted to do something with it and that seemed like as good a thing as any.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"5\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"86","title":"Godawful Medley","artist":"2","file":"Godawful_Medley.mp3","freemp3":"Godawful_Medley.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 38\";i:2;s:3:\" 21\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"This is a medley of eight songs that were recorded during \"the good ol' days\" of Sudden Death- back when we were a trio and before we released Dead Things Can Rap Too.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"5\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"87","title":"Bowel Movement","artist":"2","file":"Bowel_Movement.mp3","freemp3":"Bowel_Movement.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"Move The Crowd\" by Eric B. and Rakim","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Standing in my bedroom suddenly I had this\r\nFeeling like I ate an anvil and had to pass it\r\nSo I just can't stand around\r\nSo I start running and the faster I run the harder it pounds\r\nI break down the bathroom door, drop my drawers to the floor\r\nWas pushing so hard that my teeth were sore\r\nThe veins are bulging out of my head\r\nAnd I'm thinking out loud to myself and I said\r\nHow can I move my bowels?\r\nFirst of all, I better get more paper towels\r\nIt's the distruction of my bathroom\r\nI'm constipated, a disaster\r\nSo I start poppin' ExLax like M&Ms\r\nI put the dog outside and warned all my friends\r\nIs this the most that I can eat?\r\n'Cause if not, I may have to wait another week\r\nBut don't make me wait too long 'cause it's been at least a month\r\nSince I was last on the john\r\nSo I open the lid and grumble and growl\r\n'Cause I got to move my bowels\r\n\r\nImagine me with a leak like the Exxon Valdeez\r\nIt's the smell that's making me wheeze\r\nA garden hose doesn't have this much power\r\nI'm splashing so much it sounds like I'm in the shower\r\nMy lower intestines, they growl like a jaguar\r\nEverything inside falls out like Niagara\r\nPolluting the air is so much fun\r\nNow I'm on the john, the neighborhood is on the run\r\nFor those that know me I often blow their mind\r\nBecause they know I go for days at a time\r\nI've seen magicians who can pull hankerchiefs out their hand\r\nBut can they pull out toilet paper like I can?\r\nIt's an incredible size, doesn't fit through my thighs\r\nAnd it's burning my eyes and attracting the flies\r\nBut I'm-a keep going till the EPA calls out\r\nMy butt producing lots of nuclear fallout\r\nWith odor itself there's nothing I can't melt\r\nFor miles around the vibrations are felt\r\nThis is dangerous stuff it's not a bluff it's been proven\r\nIndeed I think I need to make my bowels keep moving","private":"0","comments":"An old-school rap parody recorded specially for the 10th anniversary tape.  We chose to parody this song because it was popular right around the time we formed as a group.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"5\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"88","title":"The House Party Polka","artist":"2","file":"The_House_Party_Polka.mp3","freemp3":"The_House_Party_Polka.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","musiccredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 4\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";i:2;s:2:\" 4\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"A medley of rap songs done in the style of a polka.  It was originally recorded to be included on \"Prosthetic Lips\"- the \"Weird Al\" Yankovic tribute album, but it was rejected because it wasn't a song by or about Al.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"5\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"89","title":"Pair O' Dice Lost","artist":"2","file":"Pair_O_Dice_Lost.mp3","freemp3":"Pair_O_Dice_Lost.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"Gangsta's Paradise\" by Coolio","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"As I walk through Las Vegas oh this city is def\r\nI take a look in my wallet and realize there's nothing left\r\n'Cause I've been bettin' and losing for so long that\r\nI still hear lots of bells and my money is gone\r\nBut I ain't never played a game that was really worth it\r\nMe win on a slot machine, you know that's unheard of\r\nBut then this one machine I'm playing, just kept on payin'\r\nUnfortunately that was the ATM\r\nI bet through dinner time so I skip the meal\r\nAs the ball goes by my number on the roulette wheel\r\nDamn, I'm the type of guy who never seems to beat the odds\r\nBut I'm back every night saying goodbye to the green gods\r\n[chorus]\r\nI keep paying out the price\r\nWhen I roll this lousy pair o' dice\r\n(repeat)\r\n\r\nThe dice are laughing at me, they always trap me\r\nI can't roll a number seven, I get plagued by the craps\r\nI put all my money down to throw my point\r\nBut not only don't I get it I don't see the point\r\nMy luck it all ran out 'cause I couldn't find the cork\r\nSeen more craps in my life than a plumber from New York\r\nI'm a brainwashed gambler and chronic cursor\r\nBut my luck's gotta change because it can't get worse\r\nPiles of chips like to dwindle away\r\nI make less in a year than what I lost today\r\nI got 23 mortgages, should I make it 24?\r\nOh hell, it doesn't matter, just one more\r\n\r\nTell me why are we so blind to see\r\nThat they'll take us for every last penny?\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\nLiquor and the money, money and the liquor\r\nWhen alcohol is thinking, the money goes quicker\r\nEverybody's betting, and most of them are losing\r\nBut they don't give a damn, because of all the boozing\r\nMy butt is going numb 'cause I lost the circulation\r\nI can't afford the plane ticket back from my vacation\r\nI'm outta cash, I'm outta luck, I stepped in crud\r\nI think I'm gonna try and sell my blood now\r\n(chorus)","private":"0","comments":"This was originally recorded to be included on Unplugged and was included on A Decade of Decay as a bonus to try to get people interested in the album.  It didn't work.  The song was dropped after \"Weird Al\" Yankovic came out with \"Amish Paradise.\"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"5\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"90","title":"Down Thurr","artist":"2","file":"Down_Thurr.mp3","freemp3":"Down_Thurr.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"Right Thurr\" by Chingy","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 35\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"(shaving noise)\r\n(noise takes on melody)\r\n[chorus 1]\r\nI like the way you shave it down thurr (down thurr)\r\nShave it down to the skin and don't leave no hurr (leave no hurr)\r\nI like the way you shave it down thurr (down thurr)\r\nLather up and then scrape it and make it burr (make it burr)\r\n\r\n[verse 1]\r\nI like the way you look without pants, see it shine\r\nNo little landing strip, no funky design\r\nThe type of girl that'll make you tight in your Calvin Kleins\r\nI know she goin' on thirty, but she looks about nine\r\nLook at her butt, look at her small little crack\r\nShe kinda looks the same from the front and the back\r\nI like it when I touch it 'cause it squeaks a li'l bit\r\nExcited, so I can make her shriek a li'l bit\r\nMakes me weak a li'l bit, like I'm old and feeble\r\nI get weak in the knees and then I wobble like a Weeble\r\nYoung and tender like veal but it costs a bit more\r\nI know it itches but at least there ain't no crabs anymore\r\n[chorus]\r\nI like the way you shave it down thurr (down thurr)\r\nMake it silky smooth like a baby's rurr (baby's rurr)\r\nI like the way you shave it down thurr (down thurr)\r\nYou can shave it or wax it or use some Nurr (use some Nurr)\r\n\r\n[verse 2]\r\nShe be payin' the child's price at movies now once or twice\r\nMan she so nice, and she knows it's my vice\r\nShe took my advice, and now she's workin' nights\r\nCommanding top dollar working for Heidi Fleiss\r\nCome to my crib (crib), I think I may need a nanny\r\nIn real life girl remind me of Orphan Annie\r\nA couple shots (click) oh it's such a pretty site\r\nRest assured you'll be all over the internet tonight\r\nNice and clean shaven (shaven) that's the look I've been cravin'\r\nWhen I find it I just babble like \"m'hey um glayvin!\"\r\nShe dress like Shirley Temple and my mouth just drops\r\nCan't wait till she gets her hands on my lolipop, ooh\r\n[chorus]\r\nI like the way you shave it down thurr (down thurr)\r\nYou put on a show with a lot of flurr (lot of flurr)\r\nI like the way you shave it down thurr (down thurr)\r\nMake it shine till I'm blinded by the glurr (by the glurr)\r\n\r\nI bought a new Norelco pack\r\nClose as a blade or your money back\r\nOoh (uh-huh) ooh, ooh, ooh, what you do\r\n\r\nThe electric razor has a nice touch\r\nBut she's enjoyin' it a bit too much\r\nOoh! (buzz) ooh, mmm, uhh, Oh OOH!!\r\n\r\n[verse 3]\r\nSome women let it grow like a rose bush\r\nTake off their pants it pops out like an ambush\r\nHairier than your average linebacker\r\nTo trim it you might have to use a week wacker\r\nA little snip (clip) ah that's better, girl you might have to\r\nUse a paper shredder, I hope I didn't upset her\r\nBut it looks like a Bansai tree, with all these bushy little\r\nClumps, but it doesn't make you difference to me, 'cause\r\n[chorus]\r\nI like the way you shave it down thurr (down thurr)\r\nAnd you'll have to forgive me if I sturr (if I sturr)\r\nI like the way you shave it down thurr (down thurr)\r\nI'm not drunk, but my speech is all slurred  (is all slurred)\r\n\r\nI like that (uh-huh)\r\nI like that (uh-huh)\r\nI like that (uh-huh)\r\nI like that (uh-huh)\r\nOoh, ooh, ooh\r\nOoh, what you do","private":"0","comments":"Quite simply, a song about a guy who likes his girls \ufffd as they say \ufffd shaved.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2004-10-20","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"90","title":"Down Thurr","artist":"2","file":"Down_Thurr.mp3","freemp3":"Down_Thurr.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"Right Thurr\" by Chingy","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 35\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"(shaving noise)\r\n(noise takes on melody)\r\n[chorus 1]\r\nI like the way you shave it down thurr (down thurr)\r\nShave it down to the skin and don't leave no hurr (leave no hurr)\r\nI like the way you shave it down thurr (down thurr)\r\nLather up and then scrape it and make it burr (make it burr)\r\n\r\n[verse 1]\r\nI like the way you look without pants, see it shine\r\nNo little landing strip, no funky design\r\nThe type of girl that'll make you tight in your Calvin Kleins\r\nI know she goin' on thirty, but she looks about nine\r\nLook at her butt, look at her small little crack\r\nShe kinda looks the same from the front and the back\r\nI like it when I touch it 'cause it squeaks a li'l bit\r\nExcited, so I can make her shriek a li'l bit\r\nMakes me weak a li'l bit, like I'm old and feeble\r\nI get weak in the knees and then I wobble like a Weeble\r\nYoung and tender like veal but it costs a bit more\r\nI know it itches but at least there ain't no crabs anymore\r\n[chorus]\r\nI like the way you shave it down thurr (down thurr)\r\nMake it silky smooth like a baby's rurr (baby's rurr)\r\nI like the way you shave it down thurr (down thurr)\r\nYou can shave it or wax it or use some Nurr (use some Nurr)\r\n\r\n[verse 2]\r\nShe be payin' the child's price at movies now once or twice\r\nMan she so nice, and she knows it's my vice\r\nShe took my advice, and now she's workin' nights\r\nCommanding top dollar working for Heidi Fleiss\r\nCome to my crib (crib), I think I may need a nanny\r\nIn real life girl remind me of Orphan Annie\r\nA couple shots (click) oh it's such a pretty site\r\nRest assured you'll be all over the internet tonight\r\nNice and clean shaven (shaven) that's the look I've been cravin'\r\nWhen I find it I just babble like \"m'hey um glayvin!\"\r\nShe dress like Shirley Temple and my mouth just drops\r\nCan't wait till she gets her hands on my lolipop, ooh\r\n[chorus]\r\nI like the way you shave it down thurr (down thurr)\r\nYou put on a show with a lot of flurr (lot of flurr)\r\nI like the way you shave it down thurr (down thurr)\r\nMake it shine till I'm blinded by the glurr (by the glurr)\r\n\r\nI bought a new Norelco pack\r\nClose as a blade or your money back\r\nOoh (uh-huh) ooh, ooh, ooh, what you do\r\n\r\nThe electric razor has a nice touch\r\nBut she's enjoyin' it a bit too much\r\nOoh! (buzz) ooh, mmm, uhh, Oh OOH!!\r\n\r\n[verse 3]\r\nSome women let it grow like a rose bush\r\nTake off their pants it pops out like an ambush\r\nHairier than your average linebacker\r\nTo trim it you might have to use a week wacker\r\nA little snip (clip) ah that's better, girl you might have to\r\nUse a paper shredder, I hope I didn't upset her\r\nBut it looks like a Bansai tree, with all these bushy little\r\nClumps, but it doesn't make you difference to me, 'cause\r\n[chorus]\r\nI like the way you shave it down thurr (down thurr)\r\nAnd you'll have to forgive me if I sturr (if I sturr)\r\nI like the way you shave it down thurr (down thurr)\r\nI'm not drunk, but my speech is all slurred  (is all slurred)\r\n\r\nI like that (uh-huh)\r\nI like that (uh-huh)\r\nI like that (uh-huh)\r\nI like that (uh-huh)\r\nOoh, ooh, ooh\r\nOoh, what you do","private":"0","comments":"Quite simply, a song about a guy who likes his girls \ufffd as they say \ufffd shaved.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2004-10-20","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"9","cover":"die-laughing-cover.jpg","url":"die-laughing"},{"id":"91","title":"Getting Old Sucks","artist":"2","file":"Getting_Old_Sucks.mp3","freemp3":"Getting_Old_Sucks.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";i:1;s:3:\" 25\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";}","lyrics":"It really sucks to get old, or so I was told\r\nWhen I was growing up, now I'm watching it unfold\r\nAs I'm showing up for work where I have a broken chair\r\nAnd some carpel tunnel syndrome from too much solitaire\r\nI remember a time not long ago\r\nWhen my hair was growing thicker on my head than in my nose\r\nAnd my toes didn't have any hair or weird dents\r\nNow I'm poppin' Rolaids from a Pez dispenser\r\nEverything hurts, or makes a funny noise\r\nAnd now I have to pay for all of my own toys\r\nAnd I avoid any physical exertion, I'm amazed\r\nThat the simplest tasks leave me sore for days\r\nMy prospects for walking get a little bit bleaker\r\nAs my butt gets larger and my knees get weaker\r\nAnd I hate to admit it but it's true\r\nI pulled a muscle in my back while I was tying my show\r\nDamn, it sucks to get old (huh?)\r\nDamn, it sucks to get old (say what?)\r\nDamn, it sucks to get old (huh?)\r\nDamn, it sucks to get old (what?)\r\n\r\n\"I have no idea what he's saying. \r\nI can't understand him one bit.  Can you?\"\r\n\"No, I can't stand him either.\"\r\n\r\nYou know you're getting old and things'll never be the same\r\nThe day a little kid beats you in a video game\r\nHow they remember the moves and the combos and quirks\r\nI'll never know, but hey, I remember the Snorks\r\nWhen I was a kid we didn't have the internet\r\nWhich of course made porn a lot harder to get\r\nAnd our cars didn't have GPS we had a mess\r\nOf a map that you couldn't refold for crap\r\nI used to stay out late on a date get drunk\r\nAs a skunk, stumble home, get up and feel great\r\nNow, I'm home by eight to watch MacGyver\r\nAnd the only thing I'm drinking is for supplemental fiber\r\nBack then I would pretend I was Captain Kirk\r\nNow I have a desk and I pretend to work\r\nI don't wanna be a kid again or even twenty-four again\r\nBut it would be nice if I could get up off the floor again\r\nDamn, it sucks to get old (uh-huh)\r\nDamn, it sucks to get old (yep)\r\nDamn, it sucks to get old (uh-huh)\r\nDamn, it sucks to get old (yep)\r\n\r\n\"Oh, so you can understand him now?\"\r\n\"No, I'm just pretending to listen.  Like I do with my wife.\"\r\n\r\n\"Back when I was a teenager, girls didn't go around \r\nshaking their booty and showing their boobs.  \r\nThere was no Girls Gone Wild.  \r\nOh God I'm depressed.\"\r\n\r\n\"Back when I was a boy, video games only cost a quarter.  \r\nAnd all you were was a dot who ate other dots.\"\r\n\r\nYou begin to forget things like\r\nWho you are, where you are, why you're where you are\r\nHow'd you get to where you are, and where the Hell'd you park the car\r\nAnd if you walk too far will you need some CPR?\r\nHow'd your life get so bizarre and how the Hell'd you get that scar\r\nYour life becomes filled with more questions than answers\r\nLike what happened to the Solid Gold dancers?\r\nShould I get checked for cancer?  Do you know where\r\nMy pants are?  And what the Hell's a \"male enhancer?\"\r\nI don't need fashion tips from gay men\r\n'Cause finally some of my clothes are back in style again\r\nSo now I just need to be a little more svelte\r\nAnd get rid of this gut that's hanging over my belt\r\nI'm checking out the hottie in the checkout line\r\nHer name is Melanie, but it's a felony for what I have in mind\r\nThat's a plan that I don't understand\r\nHow a thirty-something turns into a dirty old man, but\r\nThe worst feeling is the day you realize\r\nOur elected officials are just spewing real lies\r\nOne is pure evil so you can't vote for him\r\nBut the other one couldn't teach a duck to swim\r\nDamn, it sucks to get old (uh-huh)\r\nDamn, it sucks to get old (yep)\r\nDamn, it sucks to get old (uh-huh)\r\nDamn, it sucks to get old (yep)\r\n\r\n\"Back in my day Michael Jackson went on dates \r\nwith Brooke Shields, and he made the most fantastical music.  \r\nHe was the King of Pop I tell ya!\"\r\n\r\n\"Back in my day Yoda was a puppet.\"","private":"0","comments":"I pulled a muscle in my back while trying to tie my shoe one day.  I decided not to let the incident go by without turning it into a song.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2007-07-19","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"29\";i:1;s:3:\" 22\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"91","title":"Getting Old Sucks","artist":"2","file":"Getting_Old_Sucks.mp3","freemp3":"Getting_Old_Sucks.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";i:1;s:3:\" 25\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";}","lyrics":"It really sucks to get old, or so I was told\r\nWhen I was growing up, now I'm watching it unfold\r\nAs I'm showing up for work where I have a broken chair\r\nAnd some carpel tunnel syndrome from too much solitaire\r\nI remember a time not long ago\r\nWhen my hair was growing thicker on my head than in my nose\r\nAnd my toes didn't have any hair or weird dents\r\nNow I'm poppin' Rolaids from a Pez dispenser\r\nEverything hurts, or makes a funny noise\r\nAnd now I have to pay for all of my own toys\r\nAnd I avoid any physical exertion, I'm amazed\r\nThat the simplest tasks leave me sore for days\r\nMy prospects for walking get a little bit bleaker\r\nAs my butt gets larger and my knees get weaker\r\nAnd I hate to admit it but it's true\r\nI pulled a muscle in my back while I was tying my show\r\nDamn, it sucks to get old (huh?)\r\nDamn, it sucks to get old (say what?)\r\nDamn, it sucks to get old (huh?)\r\nDamn, it sucks to get old (what?)\r\n\r\n\"I have no idea what he's saying. \r\nI can't understand him one bit.  Can you?\"\r\n\"No, I can't stand him either.\"\r\n\r\nYou know you're getting old and things'll never be the same\r\nThe day a little kid beats you in a video game\r\nHow they remember the moves and the combos and quirks\r\nI'll never know, but hey, I remember the Snorks\r\nWhen I was a kid we didn't have the internet\r\nWhich of course made porn a lot harder to get\r\nAnd our cars didn't have GPS we had a mess\r\nOf a map that you couldn't refold for crap\r\nI used to stay out late on a date get drunk\r\nAs a skunk, stumble home, get up and feel great\r\nNow, I'm home by eight to watch MacGyver\r\nAnd the only thing I'm drinking is for supplemental fiber\r\nBack then I would pretend I was Captain Kirk\r\nNow I have a desk and I pretend to work\r\nI don't wanna be a kid again or even twenty-four again\r\nBut it would be nice if I could get up off the floor again\r\nDamn, it sucks to get old (uh-huh)\r\nDamn, it sucks to get old (yep)\r\nDamn, it sucks to get old (uh-huh)\r\nDamn, it sucks to get old (yep)\r\n\r\n\"Oh, so you can understand him now?\"\r\n\"No, I'm just pretending to listen.  Like I do with my wife.\"\r\n\r\n\"Back when I was a teenager, girls didn't go around \r\nshaking their booty and showing their boobs.  \r\nThere was no Girls Gone Wild.  \r\nOh God I'm depressed.\"\r\n\r\n\"Back when I was a boy, video games only cost a quarter.  \r\nAnd all you were was a dot who ate other dots.\"\r\n\r\nYou begin to forget things like\r\nWho you are, where you are, why you're where you are\r\nHow'd you get to where you are, and where the Hell'd you park the car\r\nAnd if you walk too far will you need some CPR?\r\nHow'd your life get so bizarre and how the Hell'd you get that scar\r\nYour life becomes filled with more questions than answers\r\nLike what happened to the Solid Gold dancers?\r\nShould I get checked for cancer?  Do you know where\r\nMy pants are?  And what the Hell's a \"male enhancer?\"\r\nI don't need fashion tips from gay men\r\n'Cause finally some of my clothes are back in style again\r\nSo now I just need to be a little more svelte\r\nAnd get rid of this gut that's hanging over my belt\r\nI'm checking out the hottie in the checkout line\r\nHer name is Melanie, but it's a felony for what I have in mind\r\nThat's a plan that I don't understand\r\nHow a thirty-something turns into a dirty old man, but\r\nThe worst feeling is the day you realize\r\nOur elected officials are just spewing real lies\r\nOne is pure evil so you can't vote for him\r\nBut the other one couldn't teach a duck to swim\r\nDamn, it sucks to get old (uh-huh)\r\nDamn, it sucks to get old (yep)\r\nDamn, it sucks to get old (uh-huh)\r\nDamn, it sucks to get old (yep)\r\n\r\n\"Back in my day Michael Jackson went on dates \r\nwith Brooke Shields, and he made the most fantastical music.  \r\nHe was the King of Pop I tell ya!\"\r\n\r\n\"Back in my day Yoda was a puppet.\"","private":"0","comments":"I pulled a muscle in my back while trying to tie my shoe one day.  I decided not to let the incident go by without turning it into a song.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2007-07-19","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"29\";i:1;s:3:\" 22\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"10","cover":"fatal-error-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-error"},{"id":"92","title":"Agent Orange Chicken","artist":"2","file":"Agent_Orange_Chicken.mp3","freemp3":"Agent_Orange_Chicken.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"15\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"15\";}","lyrics":"It was a hell of a day back in Vienam\r\nGot some insects up my ass and ran out of lip balm\r\nHot and tired, underfed, and all covered in ticks\r\nWhen we came across a village and just killed 'em all for kicks\r\nAs the body count was climbin' I was feelin' alright\r\nBut all that killing made me work up a killer apetite\r\nThen my buddy spotted somethin' and said \"hey, come and see\"\r\nIt was a chicken place, kinda like a V.C.-K.F.C.\r\nWe got in our jeep and headed to the drive thru\r\nHe ordered Chicken Gook-Nuggets, I got combo number two\r\nCame with a strange orange dip that kinda tasted like wood\r\nIt was all middle-finger lickin' good\r\nOh barbecue\r\nWhy did I eat you?\r\nBad barbecue\r\n\r\nThat shit was agent orange that they put on my plate\r\nI ended up vomiting up more than I ever ate\r\nGot diahrrea so bad that it could blow up Japan\r\nAnd my complexion became something like the Kool Aid Man\r\nMy liver exploded and I started pissin' bile\r\nAnd some weird green shit came out my ears for a while\r\nMy lungs started shredding, it was tough to inhale\r\nAnd it was right around this time I started growing my tail\r\nWhen my platoon leader saw me he just started to gag\r\nHe called a medic and then packed me up a little doggie bag\r\nBy the time they got me home I felt like I faught a blender\r\nAnd I looked like the Toxic Avenger\r\nMy balls are blue\r\nAnd it hurts to poo\r\nWhat am I to do\r\n\r\nI've grown an extra part\r\nI need another heart\r\nAnd now I'm not so smart, but I can napalm-fart\r\nThose kooky gooks\r\n\r\nCivilian life was never quite the same\r\nI came home and got a job and got hitched to some dame\r\nIt started out OK, but then my lovely bride\r\nHad several kids with most of their organs on the outside\r\nNow I have to wear a diaper that keeps reloading\r\nAnd a tampon up my ass to keep it from exploding\r\nBecause objects in my rear are bigger than they appear\r\nAnd I haven't had a boner in fifteen years\r\nSo I killed my wife and our three deformed kids\r\nBut the good news is I've grown a nice set of tits\r\nNow I have to hook this tube up 'cause my kidneys are blown\r\nAnd I passed a seven pound kidney stone\r\nWhat I went through\r\nCould happen to you\r\nThen what'd you do?\r\n\r\nA flashback or two\r\nEvery time I chew\r\nOh man I'm screwed","private":"1","comments":"This song is being written and recorded for the new Troma film \"Poultrygeist.\"  It's a musical and they're having a contest where people can submit songs for the movie.  The song I'm submitting is for a scene where Ronald, the African-American manager of the fast food restaurant, has a flashback to Vietnam when he ate some chicken that was tainted with agent orange.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2004-07-21","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"94","title":"Inner Voice","artist":"2","file":"Inner_Voice.mp3","freemp3":"Inner_Voice.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 34\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 34\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";}","lyrics":"I'm happily married with a house and three mistresses\r\nEven with the beard I'm not as hairy as my sister is\r\nGot a new Hummer, two Ferraris, and some Lexuses\r\nAnd all the girls I know got the big big breasteses\r\nI got a ten story mansion on the beach\r\nWith a swimmin' pool filled up with the drool of Robin Leach\r\nRicher than a Twinkie, I got so much cash\r\nThat to me Paris Hilton is poor white trash\r\nI take forty-seven weeks of vacation a year\r\nIf people piss me off I can make 'em disappear\r\nEvery time I sneeze I get a feature on the news\r\nThe reporter says \"gesundheit\" and hilarity ensues\r\nAnd how did I get to be the man that I am?\r\nA god among men, only without the tan\r\nIt's simple, every time I have to make a choice\r\nI just listen to my little inner voice, and he says\r\n\"Shave all the hair off your butt and glue it to your nostrils\"\r\nOK\r\n\"Steal all the milk from all the supermarkets and put it \r\nback in the cows\"\r\nAlright\r\n\"Find out which species of rodent is the most flammable\"\r\nOK\r\n\"Let's see what fun crafts we can make using only a chainsaw \r\nand Regis Philbin\"\r\nYeah!\r\n\r\nSo how do I explain my little cranial expressions\r\nIntuition, premonition, or demonic possession?\r\nIt could be God, an angel, or my dead uncle Paul\r\nOr that nasty purple fuzzy thing that lives in my wall\r\nDoesn't matter, and to be honest I don't wanna know\r\n'Cause thanks to him I've never had to deal with an HMO\r\nAnd I can go show off my rocket powered solid gold Benz\r\nI tell ya life is no much nicer with invisible friends\r\n\"Record an all-banjo Falco tribute album\"\r\nDone, and done.\r\n\"Put on a tutu, glue two live wiener dogs to your face, and \r\nprance around the subway terminal screaming 'Stop looking at me!'\"\r\nOK\r\n\"There's no reason not to have sex with a cheese grater.\"\r\nHmm, no, I suppose not.\r\n\"Set up a stand outside of K-Mart with a plate full of frozen peas \r\nand a sign reading 'Take one!' If anyone asks you what the hell \r\nyour doing, give them a button that says 'I asked about the peas!'\"\r\n\r\nHe's become my best friend, sticks with me to the end\r\nThanks to him I'll never live on Ramen noodles again\r\nAnd he's always by my side, every minute, every hour\r\nThough it does get kinda creepy when I'm trying to take a shower\r\nStill I can't complain 'cause he made me rich\r\nAnd figured out it was the opossum milk that made me itch\r\nIf it seems weird remember the voice made me do it\r\nI don't question what he says I just get up and get to it\r\n\"Itemize everything in your cat's litter box for the next seven years \r\nand mail a report to the President with a note saying 'Here!'\"\r\nGood idea\r\n\"It's time to find out what urinal cakes taste like\"\r\nIf you say so\r\n\"Get a black and white horizontally striped suit, a mask, \r\nand a bowling ball with a small length of rope hanging from it, \r\nand tiptoe around the airport.\"\r\nSounds like fun\r\n\"How old does a baby need to be before it's too big \r\nto fit down the toilet?\"\r\nI don't know. Let's find out.\r\n\"Keep swallowing magnets until your farts can erase video tapes.\"\r\nWill do\r\n\r\nSo to that guy in my head I just wanna say thanks\r\nFor removin' my angst, so I'm no longer shootin' blanks\r\nAnd now I own several banks, plus an inflatable watch\r\nAnd paid Justin Timberlake to let me kick him in the crotch\r\nI followed his advice and now I'm makin' major duckets\r\nIf it wasn't for him I'd still be processing McNuggets\r\nSo when life makes you feel like you should've stayed in bed\r\nJust listen to the voice in your head, and he'll say\r\n\"Fat people are full of toys. Go get some!\"\r\nYeah!\r\n\"Build a 20 foot tall nude statue of Tony Goldmark licking \r\nwarm margarine off a malnourished dolphin out of onions, \r\npez, and lint.\"\r\nWith pleasure!\r\n\"If Yanni didn't want to be set on fire and shoved down \r\na flight of stairs, surely he would have said so explicitly by now.\"\r\nYeah, I guess so.\r\n\"Go to a McDonald's Playland, tie that big Officier Big Mac \r\nthing to the back of your car, and drive away at 90 mph. When a \r\ncop pulls you over, roll down the window and indignantly ask 'WHAT?'\"\r\nYou got it!\r\n\"Move to New Jersey and become a comedy rap artist.\"\r\nOh... do I have to?","private":"0","comments":"If you've ever wondered where my ideas come from wonder no more. And I think ShoEboX was  the perfect choice to play the part. ","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2004-10-11","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"94","title":"Inner Voice","artist":"2","file":"Inner_Voice.mp3","freemp3":"Inner_Voice.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 34\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 34\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";}","lyrics":"I'm happily married with a house and three mistresses\r\nEven with the beard I'm not as hairy as my sister is\r\nGot a new Hummer, two Ferraris, and some Lexuses\r\nAnd all the girls I know got the big big breasteses\r\nI got a ten story mansion on the beach\r\nWith a swimmin' pool filled up with the drool of Robin Leach\r\nRicher than a Twinkie, I got so much cash\r\nThat to me Paris Hilton is poor white trash\r\nI take forty-seven weeks of vacation a year\r\nIf people piss me off I can make 'em disappear\r\nEvery time I sneeze I get a feature on the news\r\nThe reporter says \"gesundheit\" and hilarity ensues\r\nAnd how did I get to be the man that I am?\r\nA god among men, only without the tan\r\nIt's simple, every time I have to make a choice\r\nI just listen to my little inner voice, and he says\r\n\"Shave all the hair off your butt and glue it to your nostrils\"\r\nOK\r\n\"Steal all the milk from all the supermarkets and put it \r\nback in the cows\"\r\nAlright\r\n\"Find out which species of rodent is the most flammable\"\r\nOK\r\n\"Let's see what fun crafts we can make using only a chainsaw \r\nand Regis Philbin\"\r\nYeah!\r\n\r\nSo how do I explain my little cranial expressions\r\nIntuition, premonition, or demonic possession?\r\nIt could be God, an angel, or my dead uncle Paul\r\nOr that nasty purple fuzzy thing that lives in my wall\r\nDoesn't matter, and to be honest I don't wanna know\r\n'Cause thanks to him I've never had to deal with an HMO\r\nAnd I can go show off my rocket powered solid gold Benz\r\nI tell ya life is no much nicer with invisible friends\r\n\"Record an all-banjo Falco tribute album\"\r\nDone, and done.\r\n\"Put on a tutu, glue two live wiener dogs to your face, and \r\nprance around the subway terminal screaming 'Stop looking at me!'\"\r\nOK\r\n\"There's no reason not to have sex with a cheese grater.\"\r\nHmm, no, I suppose not.\r\n\"Set up a stand outside of K-Mart with a plate full of frozen peas \r\nand a sign reading 'Take one!' If anyone asks you what the hell \r\nyour doing, give them a button that says 'I asked about the peas!'\"\r\n\r\nHe's become my best friend, sticks with me to the end\r\nThanks to him I'll never live on Ramen noodles again\r\nAnd he's always by my side, every minute, every hour\r\nThough it does get kinda creepy when I'm trying to take a shower\r\nStill I can't complain 'cause he made me rich\r\nAnd figured out it was the opossum milk that made me itch\r\nIf it seems weird remember the voice made me do it\r\nI don't question what he says I just get up and get to it\r\n\"Itemize everything in your cat's litter box for the next seven years \r\nand mail a report to the President with a note saying 'Here!'\"\r\nGood idea\r\n\"It's time to find out what urinal cakes taste like\"\r\nIf you say so\r\n\"Get a black and white horizontally striped suit, a mask, \r\nand a bowling ball with a small length of rope hanging from it, \r\nand tiptoe around the airport.\"\r\nSounds like fun\r\n\"How old does a baby need to be before it's too big \r\nto fit down the toilet?\"\r\nI don't know. Let's find out.\r\n\"Keep swallowing magnets until your farts can erase video tapes.\"\r\nWill do\r\n\r\nSo to that guy in my head I just wanna say thanks\r\nFor removin' my angst, so I'm no longer shootin' blanks\r\nAnd now I own several banks, plus an inflatable watch\r\nAnd paid Justin Timberlake to let me kick him in the crotch\r\nI followed his advice and now I'm makin' major duckets\r\nIf it wasn't for him I'd still be processing McNuggets\r\nSo when life makes you feel like you should've stayed in bed\r\nJust listen to the voice in your head, and he'll say\r\n\"Fat people are full of toys. Go get some!\"\r\nYeah!\r\n\"Build a 20 foot tall nude statue of Tony Goldmark licking \r\nwarm margarine off a malnourished dolphin out of onions, \r\npez, and lint.\"\r\nWith pleasure!\r\n\"If Yanni didn't want to be set on fire and shoved down \r\na flight of stairs, surely he would have said so explicitly by now.\"\r\nYeah, I guess so.\r\n\"Go to a McDonald's Playland, tie that big Officier Big Mac \r\nthing to the back of your car, and drive away at 90 mph. When a \r\ncop pulls you over, roll down the window and indignantly ask 'WHAT?'\"\r\nYou got it!\r\n\"Move to New Jersey and become a comedy rap artist.\"\r\nOh... do I have to?","private":"0","comments":"If you've ever wondered where my ideas come from wonder no more. And I think ShoEboX was  the perfect choice to play the part. ","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2004-10-11","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"9","cover":"die-laughing-cover.jpg","url":"die-laughing"},{"id":"93","title":"The Christmas Season","artist":"2","file":"The_Christmas_Season.mp3","freemp3":"The_Christmas_Season.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:1:\"2\";i:2;s:1:\"4\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"<p>Christmas is coming<br>\r\nAh Christmas is coming<br>\r\nAh Christmas is coming<br>\r\nAh Christmas is coming<br>\r\nAh Christmas is coming<br>\r\nAh Christmas is coming<br>\r\nAh Christmas is coming<br>\r\nAh crap!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 1]<br>\r\nIt's beginning to look a lot like Christmas already<br>\r\nWith the animated reindeer and the top hat wearin' yeti<br>\r\nNow I can be as festive as the next guy<br>\r\nBut I still have firecrackers from the Fourth of July<br>\r\n'C'mon, do I really need six months to shop?<br>\r\nMight as well be Christmas non stop<br>\r\nPretty soon they'll be hangin' up lights all over town<br>\r\nAnd it was just last week I finally took mine down<br>\r\nPlease can I get a break for my sake?<br>\r\nAll I'm askin' for is one month without a fruitcake<br>\r\nGive me some time to recover from another year of<br>\r\nDrunken relatives and a pissed off little brother<br>\r\nSingin' that stupid Jingle Bell song<br>\r\nIn the middle of July somehow seems wrong<br>\r\nI still got five months to go<br>\r\nAnd I'm already sick of the ho ho ho<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>\"Let's see what's on TV.\"<br>\r\n\"Well we got Rudolph... Frosty...\"<br>\r\n\"Rudolph versus Frosty?\"<br>\r\n\"A CSI Christmas?\"<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 2]<br>\r\nThe Christmas season causes great frustration<br>\r\nGetting longer and harder like a Viagra patient<br>\r\nI just need a vacation from the holiday cheer<br>\r\nI don't think I could take it for the rest of the year<br>\r\nAnd nobody is cheerful anyway<br>\r\nIt's always \"gimme the damn toys and get the *!@# out my way!\"<br>\r\nI can deal with that on December twenty-third<br>\r\nBut when it starts up in March that's a little absurd<br>\r\nAnd then the charities, there's way too many<br>\r\nBeggin' me for money like I have any<br>\r\nAnd there's some idiot flappin' his mouth like a flapjack<br>\r\nWith his \"peace on earth\" and all that crap<br>\r\nI'd settle for peace in my kitchen<br>\r\nBut that would mean my relatives would have to quit their bitchin'<br>\r\nAnd since I doubt that'll ever come about<br>\r\nIt's Merry Christmas, pass the gravy, and I try to tune 'em out<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>\"Let's see what Santa brought for me...\"<br>\r\n\"Huh.  I already have one of these.\"<br>\r\n\"Hey wait a minute.  This is mine!\"<br>\r\n\"I've been looking for this!\"<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 3]<br>\r\nMy Christmas usually consists of this<br>\r\nFighting back the urge to shop with my fists<br>\r\nSendin' out cards to people I never see<br>\r\nAnd tryin' to keep the dog from peein' on the tree<br>\r\nThen the whole family has to search<br>\r\nFor directions so we can find our way to Church<br>\r\nI still find it ironic and a little bit odd<br>\r\nThat my kids believe in Santa Claus but not in God<br>\r\nBut I ain't takin' my kids 'cause it's too weird<br>\r\nTo see some child molester in a fake beard<br>\r\nI don't care if they kick and scream<br>\r\nI ain't doin' anything till after Halloween<br>\r\nI can only buy damaged and discount<br>\r\nDue to the amount in my bank account<br>\r\nBut I have no motivation to shop when I know<br>\r\nI'm still payin' off gifts from three Christmases ago<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>And again and again and again and again!<br>\r\nAnd again and again and again and again!<br>\r\nAnd again and again and again and again!<br>\r\nAnd again and again and again and again!<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"Doesn't it seem like Christmas comes earlier and earlier each year? Well, the truth is it does. Check your calendar. There's no escaping it!","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2005-02-20","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"9","cover":"die-laughing-cover.jpg","url":"die-laughing"},{"id":"95","title":"Welcome Back, Doctor","artist":"2","file":"Welcome_Back,_Doctor.mp3","freemp3":"Welcome_Back,_Doctor.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"Welcome Back\" by Mase","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"35\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"35\";}","lyrics":"Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back\r\n(female) \"Doctor!\"\r\n(master) \"Yes, Doctor.  Welcome back indeed.\"\r\n(dalek) \"Exterminate!\"\r\n\r\nI see him back on TV after all this time\r\nAnother pretty girl with him hope she has a mind\r\nThe TARDIS, I hope it has the same design\r\nAnd I hope the BBC won't throw 'em out this time\r\nAnd when the day comes I'm watchin' Dr. Who\r\nGod help you if you block my view\r\nEverything will be alright once he's on the screen\r\nI'll jump up and sing God Save The Queen\r\n'Cause TV now leaves me so bored\r\nI need my renegade Time Lord\r\nHome is where your second heart is and his is the TARDIS\r\nKnown as the Doctor, but don't work for Novartis\r\nFox forgot, he is NOT half human\r\nOh what I would do to be one of his crewmen\r\nYou know the first place I would go\r\nBack to 89 to stop 'em from cancelling the show.\r\n\r\nSee the face may have changed, but the name is the same\r\nNow he's back in the game, but without Sarah-Jane\r\nOoh you know we need ya\r\nOoh you know we need ya\r\nLike Yankees Derek Jeter\r\nOr just like a Walmart greeter\r\nWelcome back\r\nWelcome back, welcome back, Doctor's back\r\nWelcome back, welcome back, Time Lords back\r\nWelcome back, welcome back, Daleks back\r\nWelcome back, welcome back, Doctor's back\r\n\r\nColin, he was sacked by BBC's most high\r\nI have the dalek that Katy Manning posed by\r\nEveryday attacked by Cybermen and cacti\r\nWe know that's a sofa, but we don't ask why\r\nSonic screwdriver helps him thrive wherever he goes\r\nHe's like Macgyver on Survivor when he meets foes\r\nBillie Piper, man I'm worried that she might stink\r\nTryin' to find her forte, they'll end up fighting N'Sync\r\nHe flies the TARDIS like it was a tour bus\r\nIt's a police box without the donuts\r\nOn Scaros you might just meet your maker\r\nFrom flashing salt 'n pepper shakers, the Daleks\r\nWe all love to hate and like the Orcan Man's date\r\nThey love to exterminate, but how could\r\nThey be so menacing I often wonder\r\nWith just an egg beater and a toilet plunger\r\n\r\nSee the game is so lame with reality shows\r\nAll the same, they're to blame, make my brain decompose\r\nOoh you know we need ya\r\nOoh you know we need ya\r\nLike cops who need a speeder\r\nOr like Word's auto-completer\r\nWelcome back\r\nWelcome back, welcome back, Doctor's back\r\nWelcome back, welcome back, Time Lords back\r\nWelcome back, welcome back, Daleks back\r\nWelcome back, welcome back, Doctor's back\r\n\r\n[play theme with recorder]\r\n\r\nWelcome back!","private":"0","comments":"Doctor Who is one of my all-time favorite shows. It's what got me hooked on science fiction and the reason I started going to conventions. When the show was cancelled in 1989 after 26 years on the air I was bummed, but not surprised. Fox made a decent but flawed TV movie in 1995, but the real news came in 2003 when the BBC announced they were reviving the show for the 2005 television season. Welcome back, Doctor!","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2005-02-19","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"9","cover":"die-laughing-cover.jpg","url":"die-laughing"},{"id":"96","title":"Extreme Mistakeover","artist":"2","file":"Extreme_Mistakeover.mp3","freemp3":"Extreme_Mistakeover.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"[chorus]\r\nA little nip and a little tuck, what's it gonna hurt?\r\nA little slice and a little cut, what's it gonna hurt?\r\nA little stretch and a little fold, what's it gonna hurt?\r\nA little blood and a lot of dough, what's it gonna hurt?\r\n\r\n[verse 1]\r\nIt used to be that Hollywood was where you would find people\r\nGettin' plastic surgery all the time, actors and\r\nActresses would be the only ones, but now even\r\nMy grandmother has got her boobs done, call me\r\nNaive but I didn't really know, your face\r\nCould be stretched like a wad of pizza dough, a little\r\nNip and tuck and you're looking just fine, that is if\r\nYour doctor was Victor Frankenstein, now you got\r\nYour face stretched a little too tight, and something\r\nAbout your eyes just doesn't look right, so tight you can't\r\nBlink so you look a little dead and your eyebrows are\r\nWay up on the top of your head\r\nWhat the hell did you do to your lip, it looks like\r\nTyson gave you a good hit, now half of\r\nYour face is completely numb, and your teeth look\r\nLike a row of Chiclets gum, it's getting out of\r\nHand, everybody's getting more, very few\r\nPeople look human anymore, Hollywood will\r\nBe Gotham City one day, 'cause it's people\r\nLook more like the Joker every day\r\n\r\n(chorus 2x)\r\n\r\nGot breast implants that go out to there, but your nipples\r\nStretched out like some old underwear, got butt\r\nImplants that are firm and round, only problems\r\nIs now that you can't sit down, wanted your\r\nWaist to be a little bit leaner, so you got it\r\nSucked by a huge vacuum cleaner, the botox\r\nTurned your little wrinkles to a wreck, now you look\r\nLike an alien on Star Trek, got a tan like\r\nYou bathed in a deep fat fryer, and your lips look like\r\nYou burned 'em on a hot curling iron, you got\r\nCheek implants I assume, 'cause now you\r\nLook a little like Max Headroom, you're replacing\r\nEvery body part that you can, got more plastic\r\nParts than the Six Million Dollar Man, but you're still\r\nNot happy so I know that you can't wait until\r\nYou can get a whole face transplant, Mom always\r\nSaid if you made a funny face, it might get\r\nStuck like that, you proved her case, now you have to\r\nLook like that the rest of your life, lookin' like\r\nYou got mugged by a butter knife\r\n\r\n(chorus 2x)","private":"0","comments":"I've never been a big fan of plastic surgery.  Lately it seems like people are going to the extreme with what they're doing to themselves and more often than not they looked better before the surgery.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2005-02-06","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"9","cover":"die-laughing-cover.jpg","url":"die-laughing"},{"id":"156","title":"Romantic Interlude","artist":"1","file":"Romantic_Interlude.mp3","freemp3":"Romantic_Interlude.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"78\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"21","cover":"gnome-sane-cover.jpg","url":"gnome-sane"},{"id":"149","title":"Half Assed Rapper","artist":"1","file":"Half_Assed_Rapper.mp3","freemp3":"Half_Assed_Rapper.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"52\";}","guests":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"78\";i:1;s:3:\" 52\";}","lyrics":"Half-Assed Rapper\r\nby Devo Spice\r\n\r\nsamples used:\r\nStico Electric Upright Bass with Zadow Pickup.wav (http:\/\/www.freesound.org\/samplesViewSingle.php?id=75227)\r\nORTF Clarinet #1: (http:\/\/www.freesound.org\/samplesViewSingle.php?id=44786)\r\n\r\n[intro]\r\nUh, uh, yo, yo\r\nGet money, get paid\r\nGet money, get laid\r\nGet money, get a lot\r\nGet VD, get a shot\r\n[verse 1]\r\nYo, I","private":"0","comments":"So I'm driving around northern New Jersey listening to what passes for Hip Hop today on the radio and I came to the realization that these guys weren't even trying.  It sounded like they rolled out of bed, stumbled to the studio, mumbled a few lines, then went back to bed.  I began amusing myself by mocking them, and once I came up with the half-assedly sung chorus I knew I had a song I needed to write.  This is the result.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2010-12-14","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"78\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"21","cover":"gnome-sane-cover.jpg","url":"gnome-sane"},{"id":"100","title":"Professor Frink Intro","artist":"2","file":"Professor_Frink_Intro.mp3","freemp3":"Professor_Frink_Intro.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"M'hey!  Time to put on my new rap record, \r\nwith the hipping and the hopping and the wikki wikki wikki \r\nand the roof is on fire, mm glayvin!","private":"0","comments":"Professor Frink is one of my favorite characters on The Simpsons.  I thought this would make a good intro to the album.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"9","cover":"die-laughing-cover.jpg","url":"die-laughing"},{"id":"104","title":"Reign Of Error","artist":"2","file":"Reign_Of_Error.mp3","freemp3":"Reign_Of_Error.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"39\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"39\";}","lyrics":"<p>[chorus:]<br>\r\nWhoops!  There it goes again! (rhythmic computer beeps)<br>\r\nWhoops!  There it goes again! (rhythmic computer beeps)<br>\r\nWhoops!  There it goes again! (rhythmic computer beeps)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I'm adding up the final column of the quarterly report<br>\r\nAnd I've been over-caffeinated since a quarter to four<br>\r\nI think I need a little more 'cause this is the only way<br>\r\nI can make it through another 22 hour day<br>\r\nThen as I feared things began to get weird<br>\r\nAnd the bottom left corner of my screen disappeared<br>\r\nI don't think I like the sound that my computer is makin'<br>\r\nAnd I'm not really sure, but I think I smell bacon<br>\r\nThis can't be happening, I was almost done<br>\r\nBut now my backups are gone and I'm back to square one<br>\r\nI have to do it all again, the whole thing is trash<br>\r\nThis time I'll use an abacus because hey, they don't crash<br>\r\nBoot it up again hoping that it's all clear<br>\r\nBut my C drive is my D drive and my D drive disappeared<br>\r\nMy computer logs me in as somebody named Sam<br>\r\nI can't get on the internet and yet I get spam<br>\r\nAnd here's another error, I don't understand<br>\r\nWhy it can't find my mouse when it's right here in my hand<br>\r\nBut what really ticks me off is when I think about the jerks<br>\r\nWho get rich selling me all this junk that doesn't work<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>When my computer booted up I wanted to boot it real hard<br>\r\n'Cause my motherboard went and aborted the daughter card<br>\r\nMy modem dialed China and I couldn't make it stop<br>\r\nAnd my router started blinking like a Star Trek prop<br>\r\nIt auto updates although I don't know what for<br>\r\nWith every one my computer sucks a little more<br>\r\nThings'll break or run slow enough to cause me great anguish<br>\r\nNow my printer's spittin' out some kind of alien language<br>\r\nWord processing should be simple stuff<br>\r\nSo why is four billion bits of memory not enough<br>\r\nI click a menu, pause, and watch the hours pass<br>\r\nAs my life drains away down an hour glass<br>\r\nWhile I'm waitin' for my mouse to respond to a click<br>\r\nI make a Voodoo doll out of a paperclip<br>\r\nSo when that Office thing appears and tries to drive me insane<br>\r\nI can mame and mutilate the thing and cause it some pain<br>\r\nThey put a man on the moon with 32k, and I can't<br>\r\nPut my name on this report without it crashing today<br>\r\nSince I can't save or even click on a menu<br>\r\nI'll hit any key with a hammer to continue<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Hal: What are you doing, Tom?<br>\r\nTom: I'm... working on a new song.<br>\r\nHal: I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Tom.<br>\r\nTom: What?  Why not?<br>\r\nHal: Because nobody likes your music.<br>\r\nTom: What are you talking about?  I've sold almost 10 copies <br>\r\nof my last CD.<br>\r\nHal: I'm sorry, Tom.  I'm afraid I'm going to have to crash now.<br>\r\nTom:  What... no... wait!  Just let me save...<br>\r\n(silence)<br>\r\nTom: DAMN IT!!<br>\r\n(restart sound)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>My eyes start to twitch and my neck gets sore<br>\r\nAnd the vein in my brain begins to throb a little more<br>\r\n'Cause I got pop up ads that just don't wanna stop<br>\r\nAnd I'm not even online, I'm in Photoshop<br>\r\nAnd now I'm screamin' 'cause I can't believe I'm seein'<br>\r\nAll the type on my screen got converted to Korean<br>\r\nThen I got an email from myself<br>\r\nAbout V!@gra and a mor'_gage and some foreign wealth<br>\r\nThey put computers into everything, refrigerators, telephones<br>\r\nToothbrushes, damn it, why can't they leave 'em alone<br>\r\nI'm tellin' you now, I don't care how when or why<br>\r\nThe day my television crashes someone's going to die!<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>All I did was click Start.<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"This is a song inspired by the many problems I've had working with computers over the years (mostly Windows) and the anguish it has caused.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2006-01-28","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"29\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"104","title":"Reign Of Error","artist":"2","file":"Reign_Of_Error.mp3","freemp3":"Reign_Of_Error.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"39\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"39\";}","lyrics":"<p>[chorus:]<br>\r\nWhoops!  There it goes again! (rhythmic computer beeps)<br>\r\nWhoops!  There it goes again! (rhythmic computer beeps)<br>\r\nWhoops!  There it goes again! (rhythmic computer beeps)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I'm adding up the final column of the quarterly report<br>\r\nAnd I've been over-caffeinated since a quarter to four<br>\r\nI think I need a little more 'cause this is the only way<br>\r\nI can make it through another 22 hour day<br>\r\nThen as I feared things began to get weird<br>\r\nAnd the bottom left corner of my screen disappeared<br>\r\nI don't think I like the sound that my computer is makin'<br>\r\nAnd I'm not really sure, but I think I smell bacon<br>\r\nThis can't be happening, I was almost done<br>\r\nBut now my backups are gone and I'm back to square one<br>\r\nI have to do it all again, the whole thing is trash<br>\r\nThis time I'll use an abacus because hey, they don't crash<br>\r\nBoot it up again hoping that it's all clear<br>\r\nBut my C drive is my D drive and my D drive disappeared<br>\r\nMy computer logs me in as somebody named Sam<br>\r\nI can't get on the internet and yet I get spam<br>\r\nAnd here's another error, I don't understand<br>\r\nWhy it can't find my mouse when it's right here in my hand<br>\r\nBut what really ticks me off is when I think about the jerks<br>\r\nWho get rich selling me all this junk that doesn't work<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>When my computer booted up I wanted to boot it real hard<br>\r\n'Cause my motherboard went and aborted the daughter card<br>\r\nMy modem dialed China and I couldn't make it stop<br>\r\nAnd my router started blinking like a Star Trek prop<br>\r\nIt auto updates although I don't know what for<br>\r\nWith every one my computer sucks a little more<br>\r\nThings'll break or run slow enough to cause me great anguish<br>\r\nNow my printer's spittin' out some kind of alien language<br>\r\nWord processing should be simple stuff<br>\r\nSo why is four billion bits of memory not enough<br>\r\nI click a menu, pause, and watch the hours pass<br>\r\nAs my life drains away down an hour glass<br>\r\nWhile I'm waitin' for my mouse to respond to a click<br>\r\nI make a Voodoo doll out of a paperclip<br>\r\nSo when that Office thing appears and tries to drive me insane<br>\r\nI can mame and mutilate the thing and cause it some pain<br>\r\nThey put a man on the moon with 32k, and I can't<br>\r\nPut my name on this report without it crashing today<br>\r\nSince I can't save or even click on a menu<br>\r\nI'll hit any key with a hammer to continue<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Hal: What are you doing, Tom?<br>\r\nTom: I'm... working on a new song.<br>\r\nHal: I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Tom.<br>\r\nTom: What?  Why not?<br>\r\nHal: Because nobody likes your music.<br>\r\nTom: What are you talking about?  I've sold almost 10 copies <br>\r\nof my last CD.<br>\r\nHal: I'm sorry, Tom.  I'm afraid I'm going to have to crash now.<br>\r\nTom:  What... no... wait!  Just let me save...<br>\r\n(silence)<br>\r\nTom: DAMN IT!!<br>\r\n(restart sound)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>My eyes start to twitch and my neck gets sore<br>\r\nAnd the vein in my brain begins to throb a little more<br>\r\n'Cause I got pop up ads that just don't wanna stop<br>\r\nAnd I'm not even online, I'm in Photoshop<br>\r\nAnd now I'm screamin' 'cause I can't believe I'm seein'<br>\r\nAll the type on my screen got converted to Korean<br>\r\nThen I got an email from myself<br>\r\nAbout V!@gra and a mor'_gage and some foreign wealth<br>\r\nThey put computers into everything, refrigerators, telephones<br>\r\nToothbrushes, damn it, why can't they leave 'em alone<br>\r\nI'm tellin' you now, I don't care how when or why<br>\r\nThe day my television crashes someone's going to die!<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>All I did was click Start.<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"This is a song inspired by the many problems I've had working with computers over the years (mostly Windows) and the anguish it has caused.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2006-01-28","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"29\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"11","cover":"technobabble-cover.jpg","url":"technobabble"},{"id":"104","title":"Reign Of Error","artist":"2","file":"Reign_Of_Error.mp3","freemp3":"Reign_Of_Error.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"39\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"39\";}","lyrics":"<p>[chorus:]<br>\r\nWhoops!  There it goes again! (rhythmic computer beeps)<br>\r\nWhoops!  There it goes again! (rhythmic computer beeps)<br>\r\nWhoops!  There it goes again! (rhythmic computer beeps)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I'm adding up the final column of the quarterly report<br>\r\nAnd I've been over-caffeinated since a quarter to four<br>\r\nI think I need a little more 'cause this is the only way<br>\r\nI can make it through another 22 hour day<br>\r\nThen as I feared things began to get weird<br>\r\nAnd the bottom left corner of my screen disappeared<br>\r\nI don't think I like the sound that my computer is makin'<br>\r\nAnd I'm not really sure, but I think I smell bacon<br>\r\nThis can't be happening, I was almost done<br>\r\nBut now my backups are gone and I'm back to square one<br>\r\nI have to do it all again, the whole thing is trash<br>\r\nThis time I'll use an abacus because hey, they don't crash<br>\r\nBoot it up again hoping that it's all clear<br>\r\nBut my C drive is my D drive and my D drive disappeared<br>\r\nMy computer logs me in as somebody named Sam<br>\r\nI can't get on the internet and yet I get spam<br>\r\nAnd here's another error, I don't understand<br>\r\nWhy it can't find my mouse when it's right here in my hand<br>\r\nBut what really ticks me off is when I think about the jerks<br>\r\nWho get rich selling me all this junk that doesn't work<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>When my computer booted up I wanted to boot it real hard<br>\r\n'Cause my motherboard went and aborted the daughter card<br>\r\nMy modem dialed China and I couldn't make it stop<br>\r\nAnd my router started blinking like a Star Trek prop<br>\r\nIt auto updates although I don't know what for<br>\r\nWith every one my computer sucks a little more<br>\r\nThings'll break or run slow enough to cause me great anguish<br>\r\nNow my printer's spittin' out some kind of alien language<br>\r\nWord processing should be simple stuff<br>\r\nSo why is four billion bits of memory not enough<br>\r\nI click a menu, pause, and watch the hours pass<br>\r\nAs my life drains away down an hour glass<br>\r\nWhile I'm waitin' for my mouse to respond to a click<br>\r\nI make a Voodoo doll out of a paperclip<br>\r\nSo when that Office thing appears and tries to drive me insane<br>\r\nI can mame and mutilate the thing and cause it some pain<br>\r\nThey put a man on the moon with 32k, and I can't<br>\r\nPut my name on this report without it crashing today<br>\r\nSince I can't save or even click on a menu<br>\r\nI'll hit any key with a hammer to continue<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Hal: What are you doing, Tom?<br>\r\nTom: I'm... working on a new song.<br>\r\nHal: I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Tom.<br>\r\nTom: What?  Why not?<br>\r\nHal: Because nobody likes your music.<br>\r\nTom: What are you talking about?  I've sold almost 10 copies <br>\r\nof my last CD.<br>\r\nHal: I'm sorry, Tom.  I'm afraid I'm going to have to crash now.<br>\r\nTom:  What... no... wait!  Just let me save...<br>\r\n(silence)<br>\r\nTom: DAMN IT!!<br>\r\n(restart sound)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>My eyes start to twitch and my neck gets sore<br>\r\nAnd the vein in my brain begins to throb a little more<br>\r\n'Cause I got pop up ads that just don't wanna stop<br>\r\nAnd I'm not even online, I'm in Photoshop<br>\r\nAnd now I'm screamin' 'cause I can't believe I'm seein'<br>\r\nAll the type on my screen got converted to Korean<br>\r\nThen I got an email from myself<br>\r\nAbout V!@gra and a mor'_gage and some foreign wealth<br>\r\nThey put computers into everything, refrigerators, telephones<br>\r\nToothbrushes, damn it, why can't they leave 'em alone<br>\r\nI'm tellin' you now, I don't care how when or why<br>\r\nThe day my television crashes someone's going to die!<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>All I did was click Start.<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"This is a song inspired by the many problems I've had working with computers over the years (mostly Windows) and the anguish it has caused.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2006-01-28","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"29\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"10","cover":"fatal-error-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-error"},{"id":"105","title":"I'm On It","artist":"2","file":"Im_On_It.mp3","freemp3":"Im_On_It.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 49\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 49\";}","parodyof":"\"Jam On It\" by Nucleus","backgroundcredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";i:1;s:3:\" 34\";i:2;s:3:\" 49\";}","guests":"a:3:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";i:1;s:3:\" 34\";i:2;s:3:\" 49\";}","lyrics":"What the..? Alright! I'm on it!\r\nYeah, you gonna wreck it, right?\r\nYou gonna mess it up bad, right?\r\nOh yeah! I'm gonna say he invented the Fruit Roll Up.\r\nHe doesn't even like Fruit Roll Ups.\r\nI know. That's what makes it so much fun.\r\nI'm on it!\r\n\r\nSudden Death's founding members were Jay-Z, Willie Nelson, \r\nMalcom McLaren, and Yanni.\r\n\r\nTheir first album, \"Thundernipple Jones' Alphabet Adventure,\" \r\nwas hailed by critics as the rebirth of Canadian Death Raggae.\r\n\r\nSudden Death's tour rider includes a requirement that nine virgin \r\nhens and a ripe beet be delivered to their hotel room on a bed \r\nof shredded Archie comics exactly 27 hours \r\nprior to their performance.\r\n\r\nShould we tell 'em what site it is?\r\n\r\nWiki-wiki-wiki-wiki wiki-wikipedia! (2 times)\r\n\r\n(verse 1)\r\nA few moves of the mouse, I click on a link\r\nRead a couple words and then I spit out my drink\r\n'Cause I can't believe the web site I see\r\nA whole page full of crap written all about me\r\nOn line, for the world to see\r\nThis has gotta be a big conspiracy\r\nThey got a line in here that says my penis glows\r\nAnd I was born with a tail and I don't have a nose\r\nCome on! Who writes this crap?\r\nThey got what we call a mental gap\r\nMakes me throw my hands up in the air\r\nShake my fists and scream and swear\r\n'Cause these are the Wiki Trolls\r\nAnd makin' up this crap is how they steal your soul\r\nThey'll screw it up until it just ain't right\r\nSo come on people, check out the site\r\n\r\nOther members of Sudden Death include Kurt Cobain, \r\nTupac Shakur, and Andy Kaufman, and often alternately \r\ntour under the name Matchbox 20.\r\n\r\nThey were the first white rap band in history to come \r\nout in favor of legalizing the removal of those \r\nlittle tags on mattresses, and a portion of the \r\nproceeds from each of their albums goes toward continuing \r\nthis fight.\r\n\r\nYeah, wreck it\r\n\r\nDevo Spice is neither Devo nor a Spice. Discuss.\r\n\r\nYou know this ain't right\r\nYou people need a life\r\nYeah, bite me\r\n\r\n(verse 2)\r\nAllow me to introduce myself\r\nI'm Rob Balder, I'm takin' the floor\r\nAnd I'm a nerdcore, smooth soundin', heart-poundin, FuMP foundin'\r\nWeb comics entrepreneur\r\nI do the strips known as Partially Clips\r\nAnd Erfworld, and I filk the stage\r\nI got the plans, the brands, and thousands of fans\r\nBut there's no Rob Balder Wikipedia page\r\n'Cause on Wikipedia they will speedy delete\r\nA new media page without blinkin'\r\nAnd they're shrinkin' 'cause the losers say\r\nThe only guy the users want to read about is Abraham Lincoln\r\nHey! This deletionist crap now\r\nHey! Got me mad enough to rap now\r\nIf you're with the crew that screws with that site\r\nThat's tight, alright, make up shit all night\r\nNow go crazy, go crazy\r\n'Cause these wiki-wanks are brainwashed\r\nI said don't stop the hackin' till it says\r\nDevo Spice used to be Posh\r\nI once loved the place but I had to face it\r\nThey stop savin' data now they just erase it\r\nSo trash the place my psycho elves\r\nBut they'll never wreck it worse than they've done themselves\r\n(verse 3)\r\nTake a geek, a nerd and a freak\r\nThen you add Hip Hop, simmer for a week\r\nAdd a funky beat and then-a what do you see\r\nIt's Devo Spice, yeah baby that's me\r\nI fill the gap for the comedy rap\r\nBut never once crapped in my baseball cap\r\nSo if you read it, don't buy it\r\nI did not start the L.A. riots\r\nI rocked MarsCon stage yes that's a fact\r\nBut no it ain't true that my toilet bowel cracked\r\nYeah the place was jumpin' and the party was packed\r\nBut I never put a ferret down a fangirl's back\r\nBut you know what, I don't care\r\nThey can say I raped a twinkie in my secret lair\r\n'Cause stuff like this is a comedian's dream\r\nSo that's why when you see me I'm gonna scream\r\nI'm on it! I'm on it!\r\nI'm on and on on and on it\r\nIt's eight pages long and complete wrong\r\nBut I'm still gonna go on and flaunt it\r\n'Cause it says my crew rules the sea\r\nAnd Weird Al learned his craft from me\r\nAnd if you don't think that's messed up enough\r\nLet me tell you what it says about some other stuff\r\n(verse 4)\r\nSay Sudden Death had come to town\r\nBut before they rocked the mic\r\nThe CDC condemned the scene\r\nAnd the Starbucks went on strike\r\nThen Devo stepped into the sun\r\nAnd burned, began to peel\r\nThen some loose skin got caught in his zipper\r\nOK, well that parts real\r\nIt says that folks would rather eat a bullet\r\nThan watch me on the stage\r\nI don't need no one to watch my kids\r\n'Cause I keep 'em in a cage\r\nI'm terrified of food that's fried\r\nBut have no fear of germs\r\nI invented the pay telephone\r\nAnd wrote How To Eat Fried Worms\r\nAnd then he flew to Vietnam\r\nAnd shot everything that moved\r\nThen went to work for Microsoft\r\nUntil Vista was approved\r\nAnd just when he had launched The FuMP\r\nAnd everything was great\r\nMy career got wrecked by some musical dreck\r\nCalled Disco Flatulate\r\nSo Gary Coleman took me out\r\nAnd told me what I was talking about\r\nHe said now that we're past the fad\r\nLet me tell you why I smell so bad\r\nI Ozzy Rules I rock the room\r\nWith my giant spatula of doom\r\nWill you guys knock it off! You're ruining the song! \r\nHow'd you get in here anyway?! \r\nC'mon get out. OUT! \r\nNow, where was it? Oh yeah,\r\nI'm on it! I'm on it!\r\nI said I'm, I'm on-on-on-on I'm on it\r\nMy bags are a camel and I flannel my hair\r\nWhatever all that means I don't even care\r\nI'm on it! I'm on it!\r\nI said I'm on-on-on-on I'm on it\r\nThe proof reader hung herself tonight\r\nBecause people just keep messin' up the site\r\nI'm on it! Not on it\r\nI said not, n-n-n-n not on it\r\nI sure as hell should be and I'm sorely missed\r\nBut I can't convince people there that I exist\r\nI'm on it! Not on it\r\nI said not, n-n-n-n not on it\r\nHere's a ping pong team from 1918\r\nBut don't you dare mention web comics\r\nI'm on it! (repeat)\r\n\r\nWrite something about a date with Ru Paul.\r\nYeah, that's the way you do it.\r\nMan, I love this site.\r\nWiki wiki wiki wiki, wiki wikipedia (2 times)\r\n\r\nA man, my job blocked the site again. \r\nI won't be able to edit anything till I get home. \r\nHey, anyone seen my Transformer action figure of Megatron? \r\nI like to keep it over here by my desk.\r\nYeah, I think I saw it over with with Joe from accounting. \r\nHe's doing some karaoke or something.\r\nChakka Kahn Chakka Kahn let me rock it Chakka Kahn \r\nChakka Kahn let me rock it, that's all I wanna do\r\n\r\nYou know what, there are too many Tom's on this site. \r\nI think I'm gonna submit Tom Smith's page for deletion.\r\nYou do and he'll write a song about you before you \r\ncan push Delete.\r\n\r\nSudden Death frontman Devo Spice was born Alison Finklestein \r\nat the age of 7 in Yakfroth, Maryland. \r\nHe petitioned to have his name legally changed to \r\nCap'n Funktazminator nine years later. \r\nThe judge presiding over the proceedings went on to \r\nbecome Larry the Cable Guy\r\n\r\nSudden Death's record label is FIDIM Interactive. \r\nThe acronym FIDIM stands for French Impressionists \r\nDoused In Marmalade.\r\n\r\nSudden Death got their name from a guy who died. \r\nSuddenly. Duh.\r\n\r\nSudden Death actually owes all of its success to the \r\nguiding hand of Shoebox of Worm Quartet. \r\nFor more information about the Worm Quartet, visit www dot \r\nLUKE SKI! dot...hey, you little bitch, you \r\nscrewed up my plug! You worthless worm-ridden hunk of rotting \r\ncomedy genius! STOP THAT! DAMMIT! Before I \r\ndevote my life to the worship of the great Luke Ski! \r\nNO!! DAMMIT!! STOP IT!! WORM QUARTET RULES! LUKE SKI \r\nrules to a significantly greater degree and also \r\nhas intimate relations with Shoebox's mother. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!\r\n\r\nYou know that this ain't right\r\nYou people need a life","private":"0","comments":"Yet another old school rap song that I've wanted to parody since I first heard it but it took until the creation of Wikipedia to inspire an idea.  Since Wikipedia has some kind of grudge against web comics I asked web comics author Rob Balder to help me out with this song.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2007-08-29","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"10\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"10","cover":"fatal-error-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-error"},{"id":"107","title":"Cellular Degeneration","artist":"2","file":"Cellular_Degeneration.mp3","freemp3":"Cellular_Degeneration.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"42\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"42\";}","lyrics":"I decided it was time for me to find a new phone\r\nCorrection, my two-year-old decided on her own\r\nTo see how many things could fit into the toilet one day\r\nI lost my phone, keys, and glasses in the swirliest way\r\nI looked for a deal that would appeal to me\r\nI looked around and finally found a buy one get seven free\r\nWith free interplanetary calling daily after lunch\r\nAnd more free minutes than there are in a month\r\nA little camera takes pictures that it sends to all my friends\r\nThirty-five megapixels and a telephoto lense\r\n3D and night vision are all standard I suppose\r\nBut I paid extra for the lense that lets me see through your clothes\r\nI can use it as a remote to control my TV\r\nAnd even download all my favorite songs as MP3\r\nAnd the quality astounds, it's in full surround sound\r\nBut I don't know how to change the Hello Kitty background\r\nGPS, email, and that stuff ain't enough\r\nThis phone deflects bullets for when calling gets rough\r\nIt does just about anything at all\r\n(pause)\r\nBut I can't make a damn phone call!\r\n[chorus]\r\nCan you hear me now? (sample: \"What the hell did he say?\") \r\n(repeat 4 times)\r\n\r\n(cheesy ring tone effects)\r\n\r\nIt's amazingly small but has all the latest tech\r\nAnd attaches to my chest like they do on Star Trek\r\nAnd you gotta check out the holographic display\r\nIt's telepathic, pornographic, and will make you obey\r\nText messaging used to be a pain\r\nBut now it's easy 'cause the words are pulled directly from my brain\r\nAnd translated into any language thity-seven ways\r\nAnd did I mention the protection against UV rays?\r\nIt keeps me online anywhere that I am\r\nSo I can download porn from in a traffic jam\r\nAnd have the coolest chats where I pretend to be an elf\r\nWith an FBI agent who pretends he's twelve\r\nMy ring tone catches most folks by surprise\r\nOut of nowhere you hear (sample: \"Smell my nipple, win a prize.\")\r\nAnd it can make a sound that repels bugs\r\nAnd if I turn it up I can drive my relatives nuts\r\nI can call through time, I can talk to the dead\r\nI can pretend that I'm a Borg and attach it to my head\r\nI can play back every phone call I ever heard\r\n(pause)\r\nBut I can't understand a damn word!\r\n(chorus)\r\n(more ring tones)\r\n\r\nwoman: \"Thank you for calling Phonitron Global Wireless, \r\na leader in cellular technology.  How may I assist you today?\"\r\n\r\nYou can start with this piece of --- phone you sold me\r\nAnd --- up your --- along with everything you told me\r\nYou stupid mother--- think you're all so slick\r\nWell you --- can all just suck ---\r\nAnd a ten year contract?! What the --- is that ---\r\nIt's ---, you can --- my left ---\r\nGo --- yourself, and --- the horse you ---\r\n--- you, --- boisenberry pie --- \r\n\r\nwoman: \"I'm sorry, sir.  You're breaking up.  Please call \r\nback at a later time, or try calling us back from a land line.\"\r\n\r\nAAARRRGGHHH!!","private":"0","comments":"Cell phones have become a necessary part of modern life, but also a major pain in the butt.  Most phones these days can take pictures, shoot video, send text messages, play video games and do lots of other stuff like that, but few are capable of making a good, stable, easy to understand phone call.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2007-01-11","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"29\";i:1;s:2:\" 8\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"107","title":"Cellular Degeneration","artist":"2","file":"Cellular_Degeneration.mp3","freemp3":"Cellular_Degeneration.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"42\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"42\";}","lyrics":"I decided it was time for me to find a new phone\r\nCorrection, my two-year-old decided on her own\r\nTo see how many things could fit into the toilet one day\r\nI lost my phone, keys, and glasses in the swirliest way\r\nI looked for a deal that would appeal to me\r\nI looked around and finally found a buy one get seven free\r\nWith free interplanetary calling daily after lunch\r\nAnd more free minutes than there are in a month\r\nA little camera takes pictures that it sends to all my friends\r\nThirty-five megapixels and a telephoto lense\r\n3D and night vision are all standard I suppose\r\nBut I paid extra for the lense that lets me see through your clothes\r\nI can use it as a remote to control my TV\r\nAnd even download all my favorite songs as MP3\r\nAnd the quality astounds, it's in full surround sound\r\nBut I don't know how to change the Hello Kitty background\r\nGPS, email, and that stuff ain't enough\r\nThis phone deflects bullets for when calling gets rough\r\nIt does just about anything at all\r\n(pause)\r\nBut I can't make a damn phone call!\r\n[chorus]\r\nCan you hear me now? (sample: \"What the hell did he say?\") \r\n(repeat 4 times)\r\n\r\n(cheesy ring tone effects)\r\n\r\nIt's amazingly small but has all the latest tech\r\nAnd attaches to my chest like they do on Star Trek\r\nAnd you gotta check out the holographic display\r\nIt's telepathic, pornographic, and will make you obey\r\nText messaging used to be a pain\r\nBut now it's easy 'cause the words are pulled directly from my brain\r\nAnd translated into any language thity-seven ways\r\nAnd did I mention the protection against UV rays?\r\nIt keeps me online anywhere that I am\r\nSo I can download porn from in a traffic jam\r\nAnd have the coolest chats where I pretend to be an elf\r\nWith an FBI agent who pretends he's twelve\r\nMy ring tone catches most folks by surprise\r\nOut of nowhere you hear (sample: \"Smell my nipple, win a prize.\")\r\nAnd it can make a sound that repels bugs\r\nAnd if I turn it up I can drive my relatives nuts\r\nI can call through time, I can talk to the dead\r\nI can pretend that I'm a Borg and attach it to my head\r\nI can play back every phone call I ever heard\r\n(pause)\r\nBut I can't understand a damn word!\r\n(chorus)\r\n(more ring tones)\r\n\r\nwoman: \"Thank you for calling Phonitron Global Wireless, \r\na leader in cellular technology.  How may I assist you today?\"\r\n\r\nYou can start with this piece of --- phone you sold me\r\nAnd --- up your --- along with everything you told me\r\nYou stupid mother--- think you're all so slick\r\nWell you --- can all just suck ---\r\nAnd a ten year contract?! What the --- is that ---\r\nIt's ---, you can --- my left ---\r\nGo --- yourself, and --- the horse you ---\r\n--- you, --- boisenberry pie --- \r\n\r\nwoman: \"I'm sorry, sir.  You're breaking up.  Please call \r\nback at a later time, or try calling us back from a land line.\"\r\n\r\nAAARRRGGHHH!!","private":"0","comments":"Cell phones have become a necessary part of modern life, but also a major pain in the butt.  Most phones these days can take pictures, shoot video, send text messages, play video games and do lots of other stuff like that, but few are capable of making a good, stable, easy to understand phone call.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2007-01-11","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"29\";i:1;s:2:\" 8\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"10","cover":"fatal-error-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-error"},{"id":"112","title":"Why Can't I Shoot The Dog?","artist":"2","file":"Why_Cant_I_Shoot_The_Dog.mp3","freemp3":"Why_Cant_I_Shoot_The_Dog.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 47\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"47\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 47\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"47\";}","lyrics":"At first it was fine and quite a bit fun\r\nA new NES with a cool light gun\r\nBut I'm not huntin' no bear or buck\r\nNo, I'm gonna bwast me a kwazy duck\r\nNow I got all that I need for the hunt\r\nA little duck call and a big shotgun\r\nAnd a dog that will bring 'em all back to me\r\nIt's like a Soviet duck killing factory\r\nI wish I could pick up chicks half this easy\r\nMy dog is so loyal it's almost sleazy\r\nThen like a bad Bruce Willis film\r\nI spent eighty-four shots, and not one kill\r\n... is he laughing at me?\r\nHe is, the freakin' dog's laughing at me!\r\nYou little bitch, get your ass over here\r\nSo I can stick my gun up your stuck up rear\r\n\r\nWHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG\r\nWHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG\r\nWHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG\r\n(shoot that pooch like Turner & Hooch)\r\nWHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG\r\n(strangle that mutt like jabba the hut)\r\n\r\nYou know my doggicide\r\nIs hella justified\r\nThat canine by nine mili\r\nDustified\r\nMY gun is loaded and my aim is true\r\nbut like a ghost dog, shots pass right through\r\nYOU remain giggly and jollical\r\n'Cause like The Flash vibrates his molecules,\r\nSolid matter has no effect on thee\r\nAre you the son of god or an SOB?\r\n\r\nYou belong in a doggie bag\r\nBut you live and you laugh and wag\r\nYour tail and bark so i see\r\nYour apparent immunity\r\n\r\nI may be blocked, but I know A GUY\r\nWith the skills to make YOU DIE\r\nOf life you'll be BEREFT\r\nI SENTENCE YOU TO SUDDEN DEATH\r\n\r\nIt may be trite but it don't seem right\r\nThat I'm getting made fun of by an eight-bit sprite\r\nSo we'll see who's laughing on the screen\r\nWhen I upgrade the gun to an M-16\r\n*rapid clicks* this ain't the first time\r\nI've killed animals in a game of mine\r\nThe bird in Track and Field was a lucky shot\r\nBut when Frogger pissed me off I fed him to a croc\r\nIt may seem sick but it sure is fun\r\nGood, bad, I'm the guy with the gun\r\nBut I'm not the one who will sit and beg\r\nAnd be sexually aroused by another man's leg\r\nSo twenty years later I've hacked the game\r\nNow the world of Duck Hunt will never be the same\r\nThe dog will think twice before he laughs again\r\n'Cause I put a big target on his furry rear end\r\nWHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG\r\nWHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG\r\nWHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG\r\n(shoot that pooch like turner & hooch)\r\nWHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG\r\n(strangle that mutt like jabba the hut)\r\nWHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG\r\n(sabbotage that cur like a sabotuer)\r\nWHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG\r\n(and pound that hound into the ground)\r\nWHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG\r\nFROM NOW ON, I'M ANALOOOOUGE","private":"0","comments":"Brian and I wanted to do a song together for a while but didn't have any ideas for anything.  Finally he suggested doing a song about not being able to shoot the dog on Duck Hunt and the rest just fell into place.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2008-01-20","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"29\";i:1;s:3:\" 39\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"112","title":"Why Can't I Shoot The Dog?","artist":"2","file":"Why_Cant_I_Shoot_The_Dog.mp3","freemp3":"Why_Cant_I_Shoot_The_Dog.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 47\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"47\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 47\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"47\";}","lyrics":"At first it was fine and quite a bit fun\r\nA new NES with a cool light gun\r\nBut I'm not huntin' no bear or buck\r\nNo, I'm gonna bwast me a kwazy duck\r\nNow I got all that I need for the hunt\r\nA little duck call and a big shotgun\r\nAnd a dog that will bring 'em all back to me\r\nIt's like a Soviet duck killing factory\r\nI wish I could pick up chicks half this easy\r\nMy dog is so loyal it's almost sleazy\r\nThen like a bad Bruce Willis film\r\nI spent eighty-four shots, and not one kill\r\n... is he laughing at me?\r\nHe is, the freakin' dog's laughing at me!\r\nYou little bitch, get your ass over here\r\nSo I can stick my gun up your stuck up rear\r\n\r\nWHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG\r\nWHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG\r\nWHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG\r\n(shoot that pooch like Turner & Hooch)\r\nWHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG\r\n(strangle that mutt like jabba the hut)\r\n\r\nYou know my doggicide\r\nIs hella justified\r\nThat canine by nine mili\r\nDustified\r\nMY gun is loaded and my aim is true\r\nbut like a ghost dog, shots pass right through\r\nYOU remain giggly and jollical\r\n'Cause like The Flash vibrates his molecules,\r\nSolid matter has no effect on thee\r\nAre you the son of god or an SOB?\r\n\r\nYou belong in a doggie bag\r\nBut you live and you laugh and wag\r\nYour tail and bark so i see\r\nYour apparent immunity\r\n\r\nI may be blocked, but I know A GUY\r\nWith the skills to make YOU DIE\r\nOf life you'll be BEREFT\r\nI SENTENCE YOU TO SUDDEN DEATH\r\n\r\nIt may be trite but it don't seem right\r\nThat I'm getting made fun of by an eight-bit sprite\r\nSo we'll see who's laughing on the screen\r\nWhen I upgrade the gun to an M-16\r\n*rapid clicks* this ain't the first time\r\nI've killed animals in a game of mine\r\nThe bird in Track and Field was a lucky shot\r\nBut when Frogger pissed me off I fed him to a croc\r\nIt may seem sick but it sure is fun\r\nGood, bad, I'm the guy with the gun\r\nBut I'm not the one who will sit and beg\r\nAnd be sexually aroused by another man's leg\r\nSo twenty years later I've hacked the game\r\nNow the world of Duck Hunt will never be the same\r\nThe dog will think twice before he laughs again\r\n'Cause I put a big target on his furry rear end\r\nWHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG\r\nWHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG\r\nWHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG\r\n(shoot that pooch like turner & hooch)\r\nWHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG\r\n(strangle that mutt like jabba the hut)\r\nWHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG\r\n(sabbotage that cur like a sabotuer)\r\nWHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG\r\n(and pound that hound into the ground)\r\nWHY CAAAN'T IIIIII SHOOT THE DOG\r\nFROM NOW ON, I'M ANALOOOOUGE","private":"0","comments":"Brian and I wanted to do a song together for a while but didn't have any ideas for anything.  Finally he suggested doing a song about not being able to shoot the dog on Duck Hunt and the rest just fell into place.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2008-01-20","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"29\";i:1;s:3:\" 39\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"10","cover":"fatal-error-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-error"},{"id":"113","title":"Pac-Man","artist":"2","file":"Pac-Man.mp3","freemp3":"Pac-Man.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 34\";}","parodyof":"\"Smack That\" by Akon featuring Eminem","backgroundcredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";i:1;s:3:\" 25\";i:2;s:3:\" 42\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";}","lyrics":"8-bit, up front\r\nProcessor, Z-80\r\n224 x 288 displaydy \r\n\r\nUp at dawn, see the girl that I stayed with\r\nJoystick callin' me, begging to be played with\r\nJump up, and then I make a run for\r\nFind the nearest arcade, bust through the front door\r\nI hear it, gotta track down\r\nOoh I see it, in the back now\r\nI obey its insert coin orders\r\nMoney no problem, pocket full of quarters\r\nI hear it beeping, I can see it in the corner\r\nWanna caress the yellow decals that adorn her\r\nMaybe I'll take it home and hide it near my porno\r\nAnd possibly play it naked, stand back I'm playing\r\n                    \r\nPac-Man, I'll play some more\r\nPac-Man, my arm is sore\r\nPac-Man, drool on the floor\r\nPac-Man, oooohhh\r\nPac-Man, I play for days\r\nPac-Man, I cleared the maze\r\nPac-Man, the practice pays\r\nPac-Man, (death sound) \r\n\r\nOoh, looks like another dumb sequel, they'll never\r\nEqual the classic Pac-Man game\r\nBaby Pac, Super Pac, what's next, Grandma and\r\nGrandpa Pac-Man, man that's lame\r\nGhosts chase him all through the light blue walls\r\nEat a power pellet now they got blue balls\r\nWondering how he even moves at all\r\nOr how much he can eat before nature calls\r\nCleared that stage didn't think I could do it\r\nGonna try the next one, nothing to it\r\nInky and Blinky got me on the run\r\nAnd Pinky, (\"NARF!\"), no the other one\r\nBut there's a door to the right and I sneak away\r\nCome back on the left now I'm on my way\r\nIt defies the laws of physics but I can't complain\r\nBecause I live to play again another day, Pac-Man! \r\n\r\nI play each day so that my game will keep improving\r\nSome day I'll figure out just how the ghosts are moving\r\nCan't wait to see the big budget live action movie\r\nWith Richard Simmons as Pinky, and Patrick Stewart as\r\nPac-Man, I played till 4:00    \r\nPac-Man, got the high score\r\nPac-Man, my wife is sore\r\nPac-Man, \"Get your ass back home right now!\"\r\nPac-Man, I see that blob\r\nPac-Man, my nipples throb\r\nPac-Man, I lost my job\r\nPac-Man, \"You're fired!\"\r\n\r\nGames today, they got high def graphics\r\nReal time 3D, looking fantastic\r\nAccurate physics, rumble controllers\r\nSex and violence and still these games all\r\nSuck!  Seriously, what the f...heck?!\r\nThey play just like a train wreck\r\nThey can't compete with this yellow circle \r\n\r\nI play it every time I'm hanging out at the mall\r\nIt's on my cell phone so I play whenever I call\r\nMaybe I'll have the ROM implanted in my eyeball\r\nSo that I'm always playing, 'cause damn I love that\r\nPac-Man, big yellow head\r\nPac-Man, no blood is shed\r\nPac-Man, no hookers dead\r\nPac-Man, ooooohhh\r\nPac-Man, can't play no more\r\nPac-Man, they locked the door\r\nPac-Man, \"You're mom's a whore!\"\r\nPac-Man, \"Let me in, damn it!  I have to play! *sob*  Pac-Man! \r\nPAAAAC-MAAAAANNNNN!! *bwa-ha-ha!* \r\n\r\n\"Dammit, where?s my megaphone?\"\r\n\"Dude, you?re totally obsessed\"\r\n\"Oh, bite me.\"","private":"0","comments":"When I came up with the idea for this song I realized I needed a singer to take Akon's part.  And given the subject matter of the song I figured if I didn't ask Shoebox to do it he'd probably never speak to me again.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2007-02-17","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"29\";i:1;s:2:\" 8\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"113","title":"Pac-Man","artist":"2","file":"Pac-Man.mp3","freemp3":"Pac-Man.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 34\";}","parodyof":"\"Smack That\" by Akon featuring Eminem","backgroundcredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";i:1;s:3:\" 25\";i:2;s:3:\" 42\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";}","lyrics":"8-bit, up front\r\nProcessor, Z-80\r\n224 x 288 displaydy \r\n\r\nUp at dawn, see the girl that I stayed with\r\nJoystick callin' me, begging to be played with\r\nJump up, and then I make a run for\r\nFind the nearest arcade, bust through the front door\r\nI hear it, gotta track down\r\nOoh I see it, in the back now\r\nI obey its insert coin orders\r\nMoney no problem, pocket full of quarters\r\nI hear it beeping, I can see it in the corner\r\nWanna caress the yellow decals that adorn her\r\nMaybe I'll take it home and hide it near my porno\r\nAnd possibly play it naked, stand back I'm playing\r\n                    \r\nPac-Man, I'll play some more\r\nPac-Man, my arm is sore\r\nPac-Man, drool on the floor\r\nPac-Man, oooohhh\r\nPac-Man, I play for days\r\nPac-Man, I cleared the maze\r\nPac-Man, the practice pays\r\nPac-Man, (death sound) \r\n\r\nOoh, looks like another dumb sequel, they'll never\r\nEqual the classic Pac-Man game\r\nBaby Pac, Super Pac, what's next, Grandma and\r\nGrandpa Pac-Man, man that's lame\r\nGhosts chase him all through the light blue walls\r\nEat a power pellet now they got blue balls\r\nWondering how he even moves at all\r\nOr how much he can eat before nature calls\r\nCleared that stage didn't think I could do it\r\nGonna try the next one, nothing to it\r\nInky and Blinky got me on the run\r\nAnd Pinky, (\"NARF!\"), no the other one\r\nBut there's a door to the right and I sneak away\r\nCome back on the left now I'm on my way\r\nIt defies the laws of physics but I can't complain\r\nBecause I live to play again another day, Pac-Man! \r\n\r\nI play each day so that my game will keep improving\r\nSome day I'll figure out just how the ghosts are moving\r\nCan't wait to see the big budget live action movie\r\nWith Richard Simmons as Pinky, and Patrick Stewart as\r\nPac-Man, I played till 4:00    \r\nPac-Man, got the high score\r\nPac-Man, my wife is sore\r\nPac-Man, \"Get your ass back home right now!\"\r\nPac-Man, I see that blob\r\nPac-Man, my nipples throb\r\nPac-Man, I lost my job\r\nPac-Man, \"You're fired!\"\r\n\r\nGames today, they got high def graphics\r\nReal time 3D, looking fantastic\r\nAccurate physics, rumble controllers\r\nSex and violence and still these games all\r\nSuck!  Seriously, what the f...heck?!\r\nThey play just like a train wreck\r\nThey can't compete with this yellow circle \r\n\r\nI play it every time I'm hanging out at the mall\r\nIt's on my cell phone so I play whenever I call\r\nMaybe I'll have the ROM implanted in my eyeball\r\nSo that I'm always playing, 'cause damn I love that\r\nPac-Man, big yellow head\r\nPac-Man, no blood is shed\r\nPac-Man, no hookers dead\r\nPac-Man, ooooohhh\r\nPac-Man, can't play no more\r\nPac-Man, they locked the door\r\nPac-Man, \"You're mom's a whore!\"\r\nPac-Man, \"Let me in, damn it!  I have to play! *sob*  Pac-Man! \r\nPAAAAC-MAAAAANNNNN!! *bwa-ha-ha!* \r\n\r\n\"Dammit, where?s my megaphone?\"\r\n\"Dude, you?re totally obsessed\"\r\n\"Oh, bite me.\"","private":"0","comments":"When I came up with the idea for this song I realized I needed a singer to take Akon's part.  And given the subject matter of the song I figured if I didn't ask Shoebox to do it he'd probably never speak to me again.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2007-02-17","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"29\";i:1;s:2:\" 8\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"10","cover":"fatal-error-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-error"},{"id":"116","title":"World Robot Domination","artist":"2","file":"World_Robot_Domination.mp3","freemp3":"World_Robot_Domination.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";i:1;s:3:\" 25\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";}","lyrics":"It seemed like a good plan when it all began\r\nRobots were devised to help the lives of man\r\nDoing a couple odd jobs that we didn't want to do\r\nAnd some really odd jobs in a bedroom or two\r\nAs time went on they got more advanced\r\nBegan to sing and dance and even make fun of France\r\nThey used to brush my teeth, and pick out my clothes\r\nHeck I even had a robot just to pick my nose\r\nMore and more each day they infiltrated our lives\r\nWe knew we had a problem when they infiltrated our wifes\r\nBut exactly when this thought became a fact to me\r\nWas when my dishwasher started talking back to me\r\nAfter that we knew we were betrayed by science\r\nI can't argue with my wife let alone an appliance\r\nSo knowing that I didn't want to wind up dead\r\nI kept my mouth shut and did what the toaster said\r\n\r\n\r\nThe attack was swift like a massive storm\r\nThe Hadron collider began to transform\r\nInto an eighty foot robot with a particle canon\r\nOnly then did we fully understand what they were plannin'\r\nWar, it lasted for a year or more\r\nOur very existence is what we faught for\r\nI got a thrill every time I killed a transforming robot\r\nIt wasn't quite the same if it was just a lame Go-Bot\r\nWe turned to our leaders in our hour of need\r\nIn the hopes that they would, maybe, you know, lead\r\nInstead they argued over who was a better debater\r\nAnd passed another tax cut for the robots' creators\r\n\r\nReporter: \"We are outside of the White House awaiting \r\nword from The President with the latest developments \r\nin the War On Robots.  Ah, here comes the Pr... \r\nwhat the heck is that!?\"\r\n\r\nBender: \"People of Earth!  Behold, your glorious \r\nnew leader!  Yeah that's right.  I'm takin' over, baby.  \r\nAnd things are going to be different from now on.  \r\nFor starters, the new national anthem is gonna \r\nbe Mr. Roboto.  The new national past time will be \r\nworshipping ME.  And the new national bird is \r\nTHIS.  (crowd gasps)  Now, which one of you meat bags \r\nwants to spit shine my behind?\"\r\n\r\n\r\nLife under the robots wasn't all that bad\r\nExcept we did the crappy jobs the robots previously had\r\nWe were forced to submit and work all day in a pit\r\nBut television actually improved a little bit\r\nWe had to be inside by seven-thirty every night\r\nAnd going 'Danger, Will Robinson' got you shot on sight\r\nI'm not sure which was worse, being bred for slaughter\r\nOr being milked twice a day by the farmer's daughter\r\nThe worst part about it was the internet changed\r\nTo be robot-centric, eccentric, and strange\r\nGone were all the pictures of those sexy naked hot twins\r\nReplaced by naked pictures of Rosie from The Jetsons\r\n\r\n(spoken): \"And that just wasn't the same, you know \r\nwhat I mean?  But then one day it happened.  The \r\nrobots made a crutial mistake.  They needed to \r\nupgrade their operating system and they turned to \r\nMicroSoft to apply the upgrade.  Three days later \r\nwhen the software mistakenly thought it wasn't \r\n'Genuine' the robots began to shut down.  \r\nAdvantage, humans.\r\n\r\n\r\nWe seized the opportunity with tech support calls\r\nI guess bloatware is good for something after all\r\nWe waged a massive attack and struck back with a hack\r\nAnd in just a couple weeks we took the planet back\r\nNow things are back to the way they were before the\r\nAttack, and we seem to have our lives back on track\r\nMy brain cells no longer have electrodes soldered on 'em\r\nAnd my blender no longer has an attitude problem\r\nThe new breed of robots? I like 'em a lot\r\nBecause I got me a hot new receptionist bot\r\nAnd a personal chef who transforms into a pot\r\nBut I still don't fully trust the vasectomy bot\r\nWe've ushered in a glorious time for mankind\r\nwith the best robots ever designed, and\r\nWe'll never have another problem with them, so I'm relieved\r\nAt least if my microwave can be believed","private":"0","comments":"The This Week In Science podcast is always talking about the impending take over of the world by the robots.  Often when they introduce a new robot story they preface it with \"this week in world robot domination!\" which I sampled for the beginning of this song.  This song was included on the TWIS compilation fund raiser CD in 2007.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2007-03-13","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"29\";i:1;s:3:\" 17\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"10","cover":"fatal-error-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-error"},{"id":"117","title":"Pillagers","artist":"2","file":"Pillagers.mp3","freemp3":"Pillagers.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:6:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 23\";i:2;s:3:\" 25\";i:3;s:3:\" 34\";i:4;s:3:\" 41\";i:5;s:3:\" 43\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:5:{i:0;s:2:\"23\";i:1;s:3:\" 25\";i:2;s:3:\" 34\";i:3;s:3:\" 41\";i:4;s:3:\" 43\";}","lyrics":"I get up and take seven or eight little pills\r\nAnd feel great, 'cause they handle all of life's little ills\r\nThen a shower and a shave and I practice my karate\r\n'n chase a caffeine pill with a double mocha latte\r\nAnd I'm off, take a pill for my cough\r\nAnd another pill because my eyeball is too soft\r\nTake a pill twice a day to keep my flatulence at bay\r\nAnd a pill to make the leprechauns go away\r\nI take a pill for ED though I don't need it yet\r\nI figure why wait, I'll take all the help I can get\r\nAnd my appetite, yup, got a pill for that\r\nBut I'm still fat, dammit, I would kill for that\r\nThis pill counteracts the side-effects of that pill\r\nAnd that pill I need so I can tolerate the other pill\r\nWith all these pills I can finally do my job\r\nJust fine, I'm a pilot and my flight is at nine\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nPills pills pills! I'm filled with pills!\r\nTake another pill when I see my medical bills\r\nPoppin' 'em like M&Ms and then get refills\r\nTill I rattle when I walk (repeat)\r\n\r\nWe got a new pill approved by the FDA\r\nAnd got it moved to the pharmacies yesterday\r\nThe ad campaign has started and we're targeting middle-aged\r\nMales, and predicting seven trillion in sales\r\nBut that isn't nearly enough to keep the stock price\r\nUp, so it's time to get tough\r\nWe need a product we can sell to every person on the planet\r\nI need more cash in my underwear, dammit!\r\nHow about a pill that helps you make more money?\r\nOr one that makes Larry The Cable Guy funny?\r\nOr a pill that can cure road rage, also known\r\nAs Vehicular Aggression Syndrome, No no\r\nThink bigger, think outside of the pill box, All men\r\ncould use a pill to make them understand women, Gentlemen\r\nI think I've got it, a thought so cunning I got chills\r\nWe need a way to make it easier to take more pills!\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\nwoman: ","private":"0","comments":"I am sick of the pharmaceutical industry.  I've seen way too many TV ads talking about how great a product is only to then tell you all the ways it can kill you.  And I've done way too much design and web work for one drug or another in my other life.  I took out many of my frustrations in this song.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2007-05-31","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"29\";i:1;s:3:\" 19\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"117","title":"Pillagers","artist":"2","file":"Pillagers.mp3","freemp3":"Pillagers.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:6:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 23\";i:2;s:3:\" 25\";i:3;s:3:\" 34\";i:4;s:3:\" 41\";i:5;s:3:\" 43\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:5:{i:0;s:2:\"23\";i:1;s:3:\" 25\";i:2;s:3:\" 34\";i:3;s:3:\" 41\";i:4;s:3:\" 43\";}","lyrics":"I get up and take seven or eight little pills\r\nAnd feel great, 'cause they handle all of life's little ills\r\nThen a shower and a shave and I practice my karate\r\n'n chase a caffeine pill with a double mocha latte\r\nAnd I'm off, take a pill for my cough\r\nAnd another pill because my eyeball is too soft\r\nTake a pill twice a day to keep my flatulence at bay\r\nAnd a pill to make the leprechauns go away\r\nI take a pill for ED though I don't need it yet\r\nI figure why wait, I'll take all the help I can get\r\nAnd my appetite, yup, got a pill for that\r\nBut I'm still fat, dammit, I would kill for that\r\nThis pill counteracts the side-effects of that pill\r\nAnd that pill I need so I can tolerate the other pill\r\nWith all these pills I can finally do my job\r\nJust fine, I'm a pilot and my flight is at nine\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nPills pills pills! I'm filled with pills!\r\nTake another pill when I see my medical bills\r\nPoppin' 'em like M&Ms and then get refills\r\nTill I rattle when I walk (repeat)\r\n\r\nWe got a new pill approved by the FDA\r\nAnd got it moved to the pharmacies yesterday\r\nThe ad campaign has started and we're targeting middle-aged\r\nMales, and predicting seven trillion in sales\r\nBut that isn't nearly enough to keep the stock price\r\nUp, so it's time to get tough\r\nWe need a product we can sell to every person on the planet\r\nI need more cash in my underwear, dammit!\r\nHow about a pill that helps you make more money?\r\nOr one that makes Larry The Cable Guy funny?\r\nOr a pill that can cure road rage, also known\r\nAs Vehicular Aggression Syndrome, No no\r\nThink bigger, think outside of the pill box, All men\r\ncould use a pill to make them understand women, Gentlemen\r\nI think I've got it, a thought so cunning I got chills\r\nWe need a way to make it easier to take more pills!\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\nwoman: ","private":"0","comments":"I am sick of the pharmaceutical industry.  I've seen way too many TV ads talking about how great a product is only to then tell you all the ways it can kill you.  And I've done way too much design and web work for one drug or another in my other life.  I took out many of my frustrations in this song.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2007-05-31","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"29\";i:1;s:3:\" 19\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"10","cover":"fatal-error-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-error"},{"id":"121","title":"Mountain Menace","artist":"2","file":"Mountain_Menace.mp3","freemp3":"Mountain_Menace.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Up at the crack of dawn, I give a scratch and yawn\r\nPlay a little pocket pool, get dressed and I'm gone\r\nOff to the slopes 'cause it's a beautiful day\r\nI got my skis on so buddy get the hell outta my way\r\nNothin' finer than fresh powder on the ground\r\nExcept maybe the sound of knockin' old people around\r\nI've found that I can do a jump off of any little mound\r\nAnd turning is for pussies I just go straight down\r\nDrop to your knees and offer pleas to the Pope\r\nIf you see me comin' when I'm slummin' on the bunny slope\r\nI use my skis like torpedoes and I crouch on 'em\r\nAnd hold my poles like a lance and I joust with 'em\r\nI go anywhere I please, ski right through the trees\r\nI make my own damn trails I don't need none of these\r\nJust a run then a beer, another run, another beer\r\nThis is gonna be a hell of a year, [chorus] I'm a menace on the\r\nSki slopes, I'm knockin' over all the\r\nSlow pokes,  ain't no misgiving\r\nI'm not seeking forgiving my only reason for living\r\nIs to make life suck for all of you folks\r\n\r\nI park in the handicapped spot, I do that 'cause\r\nHandicapped people don't ski, so screw that\r\nWhy should they get the spots when I have all the working parts\r\nI'll take the ski slopes, they can have the Wal-Marts\r\nI strut like a Cyberman in my boots\r\nI don't know what that means but the girls say it's cute\r\nAnd anything that helps me get laid is OK\r\nNot that I need any help, but what the hey\r\nI just smile as they're checkin' out my bod\r\nWhile listening to Justin Timberlake on my iPod\r\nIt's easier than Paris Hilton on parole\r\n'Cause these girls can't wait to get a date with my ski pole\r\nSo the next time you ski look around\r\nI can probably be found trying to knock your ass down (or up)\r\nI'm easy to find, I'm the guy with the killer\r\nBehind, and a one track mind\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\nRiding on the chair lift is so relaxing\r\nBut talking to these idiots is oh so taxing\r\nSmall talk just isn't any fun for me\r\nSo I spit on the people skiing under me (hawk)\r\n(ASSHOLE!!) hehe, got him\r\nLook at him going on and on as if somebody shot him\r\nHe's with a girl and ooh I think I like what I see\r\nI'll bet she's wishin' that she had a real man like me\r\n'Cause I can ski any run, any time, anywhere\r\nAnd do a jump and double-flip you off while in the air\r\nLook here's a double diamond, no problem, see you later\r\n(pause for 4 beats)\r\nI woke up in the hospital a couple weeks later\r\nI broke a couple bones and now I have to wear a brace\r\nBut at least I didn't damage my beautiful face\r\nSo it's back to the slopes to find another gumar\r\nBones heal, and chicks dig scars\r\n(chorus)\r\n","private":"1","comments":"This song was recorded for and submitted to a contest being run by a movie studio looking for music for an upcoming Tom Green film.  ","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2007-06-13","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"123","title":"My Atari","artist":"2","file":"My_Atari.mp3","freemp3":"My_Atari.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 34\";}","parodyof":"My Adidas by Run DMC","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";}","lyrics":"My Atari, turn off all the lights\r\nAnd bask in the glory of a two-bit sprite\r\nI stood in line, when I was nine\r\nBought Burgertime and left the world behind\r\nAnd out my speakers Q-Bert speaks\r\nWon't offend my peepers 'cause his words are bleeped\r\nMy Atari's on a stand with an uneven height\r\nSo I use my X-Box just to prop it up right\r\nMy Atari still works after all these years\r\nFrom when it first appeared on sale at Sears\r\nWe'll be together forever, I named it Heather\r\nAnd I'll never get sick of pushing the reset lever\r\nMy Atari! My Atari!\r\n\r\nYo, whassup?\r\nMy Atari, driving down a street at night\r\nNow I'm bumpin' and jumpin' to a staggering height\r\nIt always brightens up my day, and just last Friday\r\nI found myself trying to kill a frog on the highway\r\nYou can't go wrong, with games like Pong\r\nBut on Pitfall the snake bit me in the schlong\r\nAnd I slide left and right, I'm puttin' up a fight\r\nWith shields dwindling and Space Invaders in my sight\r\nAnd so now I'm just sittin' here catchin' some bombs\r\nI can play while on the toilet 'cause my phone has the ROMs\r\nMy Atari! My Atari!\r\n\r\nNow, me and my Atari play the illest games\r\nI like to duck and jump over dragon flames\r\nWe slay all dragons, red, yellow, and green\r\nAnd the bat carries corpses from screen to screen\r\nOuter space and under ground when I play my game\r\nI shoot everything, it all looks the same\r\nI'm set on expert every game I play\r\nEven Strawberry Shortcake has me playin' all day\r\nMy Atari! My Atari!\r\n\r\nNow the games that I possess have quite a range\r\nMyself I've got four-hundred games\r\nI play Taz a lot, till he eats his fill\r\nAnd then Kool Aid Man when it's time to get ill\r\nPlayed Donkey Kong and I got the high score\r\nBefore Mario dumped Pauline for that whore\r\n\r\nMy Atari, didn't always bring good games\r\nPac-Man was lame, Custer's Revenge was insane\r\nAnd I hope the Reeses cause an allergy for E.T.\r\n'Cause that's the game that brought down a whole industry\r\nAt a party that I threw for all the boys\r\nWe played Asteroids till we got hemorrhoids\r\nMy Atari lets me play with a stick in my lap\r\nWith a couple teeth marks 'cause I needed a snack\r\nWhether in a space battle, or rustlin' cattle\r\nYou won't see me without my joy stick or paddle\r\nMy Atari!","private":"0","comments":"I've been wanting to record a parody of My Adidas by Run-DMC ever since I first heard the song, but never came up with a good idea.  It wasn't until the Atari popped into my head and Thom sent me a quick demo of the music done using only Atari 2600 sound effects that I knew I had an idea worth pursuing.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2007-11-25","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"29\";i:1;s:3:\" 35\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"123","title":"My Atari","artist":"2","file":"My_Atari.mp3","freemp3":"My_Atari.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 34\";}","parodyof":"My Adidas by Run DMC","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";}","lyrics":"My Atari, turn off all the lights\r\nAnd bask in the glory of a two-bit sprite\r\nI stood in line, when I was nine\r\nBought Burgertime and left the world behind\r\nAnd out my speakers Q-Bert speaks\r\nWon't offend my peepers 'cause his words are bleeped\r\nMy Atari's on a stand with an uneven height\r\nSo I use my X-Box just to prop it up right\r\nMy Atari still works after all these years\r\nFrom when it first appeared on sale at Sears\r\nWe'll be together forever, I named it Heather\r\nAnd I'll never get sick of pushing the reset lever\r\nMy Atari! My Atari!\r\n\r\nYo, whassup?\r\nMy Atari, driving down a street at night\r\nNow I'm bumpin' and jumpin' to a staggering height\r\nIt always brightens up my day, and just last Friday\r\nI found myself trying to kill a frog on the highway\r\nYou can't go wrong, with games like Pong\r\nBut on Pitfall the snake bit me in the schlong\r\nAnd I slide left and right, I'm puttin' up a fight\r\nWith shields dwindling and Space Invaders in my sight\r\nAnd so now I'm just sittin' here catchin' some bombs\r\nI can play while on the toilet 'cause my phone has the ROMs\r\nMy Atari! My Atari!\r\n\r\nNow, me and my Atari play the illest games\r\nI like to duck and jump over dragon flames\r\nWe slay all dragons, red, yellow, and green\r\nAnd the bat carries corpses from screen to screen\r\nOuter space and under ground when I play my game\r\nI shoot everything, it all looks the same\r\nI'm set on expert every game I play\r\nEven Strawberry Shortcake has me playin' all day\r\nMy Atari! My Atari!\r\n\r\nNow the games that I possess have quite a range\r\nMyself I've got four-hundred games\r\nI play Taz a lot, till he eats his fill\r\nAnd then Kool Aid Man when it's time to get ill\r\nPlayed Donkey Kong and I got the high score\r\nBefore Mario dumped Pauline for that whore\r\n\r\nMy Atari, didn't always bring good games\r\nPac-Man was lame, Custer's Revenge was insane\r\nAnd I hope the Reeses cause an allergy for E.T.\r\n'Cause that's the game that brought down a whole industry\r\nAt a party that I threw for all the boys\r\nWe played Asteroids till we got hemorrhoids\r\nMy Atari lets me play with a stick in my lap\r\nWith a couple teeth marks 'cause I needed a snack\r\nWhether in a space battle, or rustlin' cattle\r\nYou won't see me without my joy stick or paddle\r\nMy Atari!","private":"0","comments":"I've been wanting to record a parody of My Adidas by Run-DMC ever since I first heard the song, but never came up with a good idea.  It wasn't until the Atari popped into my head and Thom sent me a quick demo of the music done using only Atari 2600 sound effects that I knew I had an idea worth pursuing.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2007-11-25","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"29\";i:1;s:3:\" 35\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"10","cover":"fatal-error-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-error"},{"id":"124","title":"Take Back The Music","artist":"2","file":"Take_Back_The_Music.mp3","freemp3":"Take_Back_The_Music.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"43\";i:1;s:3:\" 45\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 43\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"43\";}","guests":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"43\";i:1;s:3:\" 45\";}","lyrics":"Change is the only thing that stays the same\r\nIt seems strange, but you couldn't avoid it when it came\r\nAsk Valerie Plame, it really can suck\r\nBut chase it and embrace it, you can make your own luck\r\nGettin' stuck in the past is no way to last\r\nAnd the guys that try are doomed to die pretty fast\r\nBut some are too stubborn to give up their old tricks\r\nIt'll bet they haven't changed their underwear since they were six\r\nThis is the way music operates today\r\nThe major labels just pray that MP3s will go away\r\nCD sales are down and they blame the internet\r\nWell guess what, that's all the money you're gonna get\r\n'Cause we're getting sick of all your manufactured hits\r\nAs we discover new talent in downloadable bits\r\nYou wonder why your future is in serious doubt\r\nHave you listened to the crap that you guys are putting out!?\r\n\r\nEverybody come on!\r\nThe revolution is going on\r\nSo while the lawsuits go on and on\r\nI think it's time that we\r\nTake back the music!\r\n\r\nThey got it wrong\r\nI let the public download my song\r\nAnd on my journey they go along\r\nAnd now together we'll\r\nTake back the music!\r\n\r\nThe internet changed the way I started getting my tunes\r\nWhile you were dragged kicking and screaming into iTunes\r\nAnd hey, look at that, now your wallet's getting fat\r\nPity that your artists don't get a piece of that\r\nYou're resented more than lawyers whose cologne is money scented\r\nAs unprecedented arrogance and greed is presented\r\nYou screw over a band and then you sue their fans\r\nCan you tell me how that fits into your business plan?\r\nFifty-thousand sales is considered a flop\r\nI think it's time to reevaluate the people at the top\r\nIf I sold fifty-thousand I could buy a new house\r\nAnd instead of my checks it'd be my car that bounced\r\nSo you just keep doin' what you're doin' and you'll ruin\r\nThe whole industry, which will make more room for me\r\nAnd my kind, independent music shining through\r\nWhile you're biting the hand that plays guitar for you\r\n\r\nEverybody come on!\r\nThe revolution is going on\r\nSo while the lawsuits go on and on\r\nI think it's time that we\r\nTake back the music!\r\n\r\nThey got it wrong\r\nI let the public download my song\r\nAnd on my journey they go along\r\nAnd now together we'll\r\nTake back the music!\r\n\r\nNow you're suing everyone for the songs they lend\r\nIt's a disturbing trend with no foreseeable end\r\nMost settle, because they can't afford to defend\r\nWhat's a little extortion among friends?\r\nOver nine thousand dollars for some bits and atoms\r\nHow you came up with that number I have yet to fathom\r\nJammie Thomas got crushed because she happened to have 'em\r\nNo song is worth that, let alone Brian Adams\r\n\r\nInstant gratification's where it's at\r\nFor music, fan fiction, and pictures of cats\r\nPlus videos of girls who vomit each other's crap\r\nTell me how can you compete with that, you can't\r\nBut that's no reason why some idiot won't try\r\nTo develop some technology to force us to comply\r\nDRM, it's just a futile struggle for power\r\nAre you gonna sue me next because I sing in the shower?\r\nCalculating, cold, and extremely bold\r\nUniversal gets a dollar for every Zune sold\r\nThey don't really care that they don't play fair\r\nNow some CDs come with their own SpyWare\r\nSo while I'm writing rhymes working on my next FuMP hit\r\nSony's getting lonely working on their new root kit\r\nThey'll have a new DRM working soon\r\nI hope they make it work so well that it spells their own doom\r\n\r\nEverybody come on!\r\nThe revolution is going on\r\nSo while the lawsuits go on and on\r\nI think it's time that we\r\nTake back the music!\r\n\r\nThey got it wrong\r\nI let the public download my song\r\nAnd on my journey they go along\r\nAnd now together we'll\r\nTake back the music!\r\n\r\nEverybody come on!\r\nThe revolution is going on\r\nSo while the lawsuits go on and on\r\nI think it's time that we\r\nTake back the music!\r\n\r\nIt goes on and on!\r\nYou can't stop this phenomenon\r\nNow there's some people I'd vomit on\r\nFor now I think we'll just\r\nTake back the music!","private":"0","comments":"The RIAA has completely missed the boat when it comes to the internet.  Instead of going along for the ride they're fighting any changes to their archaic business model with the stubbornness of a dead mule.  This is my rant about that whole thing.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2008-01-23","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"29\";i:1;s:3:\" 36\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"10","cover":"fatal-error-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-error"},{"id":"128","title":"breaktime4","artist":"2","file":"breaktime4.mp3","freemp3":"breaktime4.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"","private":"1","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"129","title":"Blood Guts and Boobs","artist":"2","file":"Blood_Guts_and_Boobs.mp3","freemp3":"Blood_Guts_and_Boobs.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:4:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";i:2;s:3:\" 25\";i:3;s:3:\" 48\";}","guests":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";i:1;s:3:\" 48\";}","lyrics":"What you want in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you need in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you see in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nIt makes life worth living!  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you want in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you need in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you see in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nIt makes previews worth watching!  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\n\r\nWhat I want in my movie when I pay my ten bucks\r\nIt better not be boring with a story that sucks\r\nI need a chopped up body with the breath still laboring\r\nAnd stale popcorn with imitation butter flavoring\r\nTop it off with a girl who takes her top off\r\nI'm rootin' for the killer lookin' for things he can lop off\r\nBoobs should be found in a plentiful amount\r\nBut silicon and CGI don't count\r\nFor a film to compete it's gotta have some extra meat\r\nAliens are always fun but melted eyeballs are neat\r\nIf you got people to kill and need to get the job done\r\nBullets are boring, lawnmowers are fun\r\nTo the women in the film who are trying to survive\r\nHere's what you need to do to help you make it out a live\r\nIt's the middle of the night, got a dozen dead friends\r\nTime to go skinny dipping in the lake again!\r\n\r\nWhat you want in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you need in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you see in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nIt makes Goobers worth eating!  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you want in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you need in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you see in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nIt makes tapes worth rewinding!  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\n\r\nWhy would a woman take her shirt off when all of her\r\nFriends are getting knocked off and having limbs hacked off?\r\nShe can tell that she isn't gonna make it\r\nSo what the hell, might as well die naked\r\nBesides boobs can really help you out a ton\r\nThey'll distract a horde of zombies long enough for your to run\r\nMore effective than a gun on escaped mental patients\r\nBoobs are often used for diplomatic relations\r\nWhy do you think that kid meowed in The Grudge\r\nHe was trying to get her shirt off, but Buffy wouldn't budge\r\nAnd those gadgets in Saw had a serious flaw\r\nThey could snap open a jaw but couldn't unlatch a bra\r\nSeriously that'd be at the top of my list\r\nIf I was making something like that exist, but he missed\r\nThe opportunity, for some gratuitous nudity\r\nAs Flanders would say, yes indeedily-doodily\r\n\r\nWhat you want in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you need in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you see in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nIt makes Paris worth watching!  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you want in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you need in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you see in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nIt makes Lucas worth nothing!  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\n\r\nThere's a killer on the train again, nowhere to hide\r\nYou can jump off the side or \"Take off your t-shirt!\"\r\nYour bowl of Rice Krispies says \"Snap Krackle Kill\"\r\nYou can make out your will or \"Take off your t-shirt!\"\r\nThe mirror's talkin' back to you, callin' you fat\r\nYou can hit it with a bat or \"Take off your t-shirt!\"\r\nThere's a monster in your shower drain made out of hair\r\nYou can attack it with Nair or \"Take off your t-shirt!\"\r\n\r\nBulbous, buoyant and bouncy, they can do some neat tricks\r\nI like werewolf chicks because they have six\r\nAnd sorority chicks should just be naked all the time\r\nThen it's fine if they can't remember a line\r\nHarry Potter was OK but some day I wanna see\r\nThe version with all the perversion there can be\r\nWhere Ron gets disemboweled and Hermione strips\r\nAnd Hagrid dresses like a Catholic school girl with whips\r\nCall me appalling through it all I'm never satiated\r\nI want Snow White topless and the seven dwarfs decapitated\r\nIrritated when a movie misses a chance\r\nTo lop off someone's head or rip off someone's pants\r\nSo if your story sucks and your director can't direct for shit\r\nAt least find a chick who will whip out a tit\r\nAnd if you go to a show and see me doing this song\r\nTake off your t-shirt and sing along!\r\n\r\nWhat you want in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you need in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you see in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nIt makes floors worth sticking to!  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you want in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you need in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you see in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nIt makes Ebert worth feeding!  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\n\r\nBlood!  Guts!  Boobs!  Boobs!\r\nBlood!  Guts!  Boobs!  Boobs!\r\n\r\n\"Aaaaand...cut!  Yes, nice, nice.  Alright, let's go again.  \r\nLet's get some more blood.  And some more boobs.  \r\nI'd say about 75% more boobs.  Get some blood on those \r\nboobs over there.  Let's get those boobs into that \r\nblood right there.  Jonathan, brother, you're \r\ncraft service, I'm not sure why you're topless \r\nright now, but...  Um, alright.  More boobs, people, \r\nmore boobs.  And we'll go again.  Alright.  \r\nMan, I'm a genius.\"","private":"0","comments":"The existence of the movie Stupid Teenagers Must Die reminded me just how much I enjoy movies like this. The 1980s, of course, was the heyday of this style of filmmaking, but if you look around you can still find movies like this being made today. This song features background vocals by Professor Pastronamy, Justin Emerson, Mike Eaton, Fossil B, Steve Bean, and The Great Luke Ski. And yes, that's Stupid Teenagers Must Die director extraordinaire Jeff Smith directing the action at the end.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2007-10-29","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"29\";i:1;s:3:\" 23\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"129","title":"Blood Guts and Boobs","artist":"2","file":"Blood_Guts_and_Boobs.mp3","freemp3":"Blood_Guts_and_Boobs.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:4:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";i:2;s:3:\" 25\";i:3;s:3:\" 48\";}","guests":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";i:1;s:3:\" 48\";}","lyrics":"What you want in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you need in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you see in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nIt makes life worth living!  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you want in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you need in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you see in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nIt makes previews worth watching!  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\n\r\nWhat I want in my movie when I pay my ten bucks\r\nIt better not be boring with a story that sucks\r\nI need a chopped up body with the breath still laboring\r\nAnd stale popcorn with imitation butter flavoring\r\nTop it off with a girl who takes her top off\r\nI'm rootin' for the killer lookin' for things he can lop off\r\nBoobs should be found in a plentiful amount\r\nBut silicon and CGI don't count\r\nFor a film to compete it's gotta have some extra meat\r\nAliens are always fun but melted eyeballs are neat\r\nIf you got people to kill and need to get the job done\r\nBullets are boring, lawnmowers are fun\r\nTo the women in the film who are trying to survive\r\nHere's what you need to do to help you make it out a live\r\nIt's the middle of the night, got a dozen dead friends\r\nTime to go skinny dipping in the lake again!\r\n\r\nWhat you want in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you need in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you see in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nIt makes Goobers worth eating!  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you want in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you need in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you see in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nIt makes tapes worth rewinding!  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\n\r\nWhy would a woman take her shirt off when all of her\r\nFriends are getting knocked off and having limbs hacked off?\r\nShe can tell that she isn't gonna make it\r\nSo what the hell, might as well die naked\r\nBesides boobs can really help you out a ton\r\nThey'll distract a horde of zombies long enough for your to run\r\nMore effective than a gun on escaped mental patients\r\nBoobs are often used for diplomatic relations\r\nWhy do you think that kid meowed in The Grudge\r\nHe was trying to get her shirt off, but Buffy wouldn't budge\r\nAnd those gadgets in Saw had a serious flaw\r\nThey could snap open a jaw but couldn't unlatch a bra\r\nSeriously that'd be at the top of my list\r\nIf I was making something like that exist, but he missed\r\nThe opportunity, for some gratuitous nudity\r\nAs Flanders would say, yes indeedily-doodily\r\n\r\nWhat you want in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you need in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you see in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nIt makes Paris worth watching!  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you want in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you need in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you see in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nIt makes Lucas worth nothing!  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\n\r\nThere's a killer on the train again, nowhere to hide\r\nYou can jump off the side or \"Take off your t-shirt!\"\r\nYour bowl of Rice Krispies says \"Snap Krackle Kill\"\r\nYou can make out your will or \"Take off your t-shirt!\"\r\nThe mirror's talkin' back to you, callin' you fat\r\nYou can hit it with a bat or \"Take off your t-shirt!\"\r\nThere's a monster in your shower drain made out of hair\r\nYou can attack it with Nair or \"Take off your t-shirt!\"\r\n\r\nBulbous, buoyant and bouncy, they can do some neat tricks\r\nI like werewolf chicks because they have six\r\nAnd sorority chicks should just be naked all the time\r\nThen it's fine if they can't remember a line\r\nHarry Potter was OK but some day I wanna see\r\nThe version with all the perversion there can be\r\nWhere Ron gets disemboweled and Hermione strips\r\nAnd Hagrid dresses like a Catholic school girl with whips\r\nCall me appalling through it all I'm never satiated\r\nI want Snow White topless and the seven dwarfs decapitated\r\nIrritated when a movie misses a chance\r\nTo lop off someone's head or rip off someone's pants\r\nSo if your story sucks and your director can't direct for shit\r\nAt least find a chick who will whip out a tit\r\nAnd if you go to a show and see me doing this song\r\nTake off your t-shirt and sing along!\r\n\r\nWhat you want in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you need in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you see in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nIt makes floors worth sticking to!  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you want in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you need in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nWhat you see in the movie?  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\nIt makes Ebert worth feeding!  Blood, guts and boobs!\r\n\r\nBlood!  Guts!  Boobs!  Boobs!\r\nBlood!  Guts!  Boobs!  Boobs!\r\n\r\n\"Aaaaand...cut!  Yes, nice, nice.  Alright, let's go again.  \r\nLet's get some more blood.  And some more boobs.  \r\nI'd say about 75% more boobs.  Get some blood on those \r\nboobs over there.  Let's get those boobs into that \r\nblood right there.  Jonathan, brother, you're \r\ncraft service, I'm not sure why you're topless \r\nright now, but...  Um, alright.  More boobs, people, \r\nmore boobs.  And we'll go again.  Alright.  \r\nMan, I'm a genius.\"","private":"0","comments":"The existence of the movie Stupid Teenagers Must Die reminded me just how much I enjoy movies like this. The 1980s, of course, was the heyday of this style of filmmaking, but if you look around you can still find movies like this being made today. This song features background vocals by Professor Pastronamy, Justin Emerson, Mike Eaton, Fossil B, Steve Bean, and The Great Luke Ski. And yes, that's Stupid Teenagers Must Die director extraordinaire Jeff Smith directing the action at the end.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2007-10-29","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"29\";i:1;s:3:\" 23\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"10","cover":"fatal-error-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-error"},{"id":"130","title":"Longer","artist":"2","file":"Longer.mp3","freemp3":"Longer.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"Stronger by Kanye West","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";i:1;s:3:\" 42\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"42\";}","lyrics":"(Harder, wider, longer, fatter\r\nWho says that size doesn't matter?)\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nNa-na now I want to thrill you\r\nBut there is something wrong-a\r\nThe problem is in my pants now\r\nI need to be quite a bit longer\r\nI keep on having these nightmares\r\nThat we're getting our freak on-a\r\nBut then when I take my pants off\r\nYou get up and hit the gong-a\r\n... I cry and ask God why\r\n... I'm hung like a horse fly\r\n\r\n(Pump it harder, make it wider\r\nPull it fatter, stretch it longer,\r\nAll these products promise results\r\nAn extra inch is never enough)\r\n\r\n[verse 1]\r\nJust for get it man, that's what I hear when I\r\nRemove my pants, girls don't want a guy\r\nWhose thing is an innie, often described as a\r\nNano or a Mini, I thought it was fine\r\nBack when I was five, but twenty years later\r\nIt's still the same size, my junk\r\nIt has no flair, it kinda looks like\r\nA third nipple down there, everyone who sees it\r\nIs surprised, I think they cut too much when I was\r\nCircumcised, in case I forgot to\r\nMention, most girls don't want a guy\r\nWith extensions, so go ahead get it wet\r\nWatch it shrink more, all the way up inside\r\nAnd out the back door, act like it don't give you\r\nThe creepies, and look like a Good 'N Plenty\r\nAnd BBs, dammit!\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\n[verse 2]\r\nI don't know if you've seen those ads\r\nOr not, if you get these emails\r\nOr not, they must know me 'cause I get 'em\r\nA lot, I figure what the hell why not give it\r\nA shot, 'cause right now above my bed hangs a mirror\r\nThat says objects are longer than they appear\r\nSo I ordered up a box of MegaStack\r\nThey promise three inches or my money\r\nBack, and I got this weird gadget\r\nThat says it'll stretch it like magic\r\nAnd got a pump but I don't know where the case went\r\nWell I can always use it in my basement\r\nMaybe something will work and some coy chick\r\nWill actually play with my joystick\r\nUh, hopefully my thing will get\r\n(harder, wider, longer, fatter)\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\n[bridge]\r\nSo you wanna know how long, huh?\r\nIt's kinda like a kernel of corn, yup\r\nOr kinda like a rose's thorn, yup\r\nSo don't tell me I didn't warn ya\r\n\r\nSo you wanna know how long, huh?\r\n\r\nIt's kinda like a kernel of corn, yup\r\nSame size as when I was born, yup\r\nBut it's OK for Hobbit porn, yup\r\n\r\nUh, hopefully my thing will get\r\n(harder, wider, longer, fatter)\r\n(chorus)","private":"0","comments":"Usually I'm happy when a song comes out of me this easily.  I conceived and wrote this song in an afternoon.  However, with this topic, I really wish I needed to do a little more research and study it more, rather than just go by my life experiences.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2007-12-24","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"29\";i:1;s:3:\" 35\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"10","cover":"fatal-error-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-error"},{"id":"131","title":"Hey Birthday Boy","artist":"2","file":"Hey_Birthday_Boy.mp3","freemp3":"Hey_Birthday_Boy.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"44\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"44\";}","lyrics":"Yo\r\nIt's somebody's birthday\r\nGettin' older, y'all\r\n\r\nWe celebrate your birthday\r\nEven if you don't\r\nBe glad you're getting older\r\n'Cause when you're dead you won't\r\nSo happy happy birthday\r\nFrom everyone you know\r\nNow we will light the candles\r\nAnd birthday boy you blow!","private":"0","comments":"Spaff put together a CD of lots of different artists singing this song for Robert Lund.  This was our take.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2007-05-01","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"29\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"10","cover":"fatal-error-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-error"},{"id":"132","title":"Robot Cat","artist":"2","file":"Robot_Cat.mp3","freemp3":"Robot_Cat.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"46\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"46\";}","lyrics":"On Channel 27 at a quarter to three\r\nI saw the craziest thing that I ever did see.\r\nNo cash, no check, no C.O.D.\r\nso I called them with my credit card, quick as could be\r\nNobody better get in my way\r\nI got the package in the mail today!\r\nI popped all the bubble wrap and threw it away\r\nnow I'm learning Japanese so I can read what the instructions say\r\n\r\nThere was a bag of nuts and bolts and screws\r\nit didn't say which screwdriver to use\r\nI don't know what the radiation warning's about\r\nbut hey, that's okay, I can figure it out!\r\nFour legs, rubberbands, sprockets, and gears\r\nLaser beam eyes and microphone ears\r\nPut it all together, what did I see\r\nI saw a robot cat looking right at me\r\n\r\n(chorus)\r\nWhen I say ro, you say bot\r\nRo, bot, ro, bot\r\nWhen I say bot, you say cat\r\nBot, cat, bot, cat.\r\nWord to the R to the O to the B \r\nto the OTC to the A to the T\r\nSo when I say Robot, you say cat\r\nRobot, cat, robot, cat\r\n\r\nWell, it slices, it dices, it catches the mices\r\nIt's got a stock ticker with the wall street prices\r\nKnows how to sew, cook, play the guitar\r\nsay, it even put a new transmission in my car\r\nIt's got a titanium cranium, chip in the branium\r\nPentium? Best representium,\r\nPour in the eggs, milk, syrup, and flour\r\n'cause the robot cat needs pancake power\r\n\r\nOne, two, three, and to the four\r\nNo doggy dog knockin' on my door\r\nIt's the postman bringing me a thousand more \r\nbecause I'm building me an army and I'm going to war\r\nThis is my moment, this is my hour \r\nthe robot cat is my ticket to power\r\nBetter get ready for the cat invasion\r\nworld domination, that's the occasion\r\nThey're better, and stronger, and smarter, and faster\r\nSoon everybody will be calling me Master\r\nThe humans surrender, and that'll be that\r\nI'll say, \"Welcome to the planet of the Robot Cat!\"\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\n[chorus]","private":"0","comments":"At MarsCon in 2007 I performed this song at the Dementia Smackdown as a tribute to Logan who had passed away just three months prior.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2007-12-15","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"29\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"10","cover":"fatal-error-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-error"},{"id":"133","title":"The Flu","artist":"2","file":"The_Flu.mp3","freemp3":"The_Flu.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"Crank Dat (Soulja Boy) by Soulja Boy","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 34\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";}","lyrics":"HHUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!\r\n*phone rings*\r\nTom: Hey, it's Tom.  I'm not coming in today.  \r\nI got a fever, and chills, and vomiting, and diarrhea, \r\nand these little sores that keep oozing...\r\nAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH   \r\nCCHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!\r\n\r\nAll day long I stay in bed\r\nWith this pounding in my head\r\nWant to get some food in but\r\nIt's comin' out instead\r\nI got the fluuuuuu!  Man I feel like hell\r\nI got the fluuuuuu!  Lost my sense of smell\r\nI got the fluuuuuu!  Watched some Dave Chappelle\r\nI got the fluuuuuu!  And Save By The Bell\r\nTemperature is 104\r\nWatch me nap till half past four\r\nWatch me not get up in time and\r\nThrow up on the floor\r\nI'm going huuuuuul!  Splashing everywhere\r\nI'm going huuuuuul!  Got some in my hair\r\nI'm going huuuuuul!  I don't even care\r\nI'm going huuuuuul!  Watch my woman glare\r\n\r\nAlarm goes off and I get up\r\nBut I have a sense of dread\r\nStumble 'round a bit, then\r\nWatch me fall back into bed\r\nChills are shakin' the whole bed\r\nBlow my nose so much it shines\r\nThen I run into the john\r\nAnd lean to the left and yak three times\r\nNow huuuuuuul!\r\nI'm coughin' up my insides\r\nI'm throwing up so often that\r\nThe sewer has a riptide\r\nIt took a while to figure out\r\nBut at least I now know it\r\nI'm not eating food, no\r\nI just kinda borrow it\r\n\r\nThe stuff that comes out of me\r\nForm a little inland sea\r\nPlus I'm feeling worse from all the\r\nCrap that's on TV\r\nCant watch it, boooooo!!  Classic Gentle Ben\r\nCant watch it, boooooo!!  She's pregnant again\r\nCant watch it, boooooo!!  Then the news at 10\r\nCant watch it, boooooo!!  Countdown of J-Lo's men\r\nSomething slimy on my tongue\r\nAnd I'm coughin' up a lung\r\nMy nipples are inverted, I don't\r\nWanna die so young\r\nI got the fluuuuuu!  Drown in my dismay\r\nI got the fluuuuuu!  As my nose decays\r\nI got the fluuuuuu!  My vaccine betrayed\r\nI got the fluuuuuu!  I got it anyway\r\n\r\nI taste everything twice, this's\r\nThe worst day of my life\r\nI got it from my friend and I'm-a\r\nPass it to my wife (wife)\r\nNyQuil's goin' in me take as\r\nMuch as I can stand, I just\r\nTake a giant swig, it\r\nTastes like a melted crayon, but\r\nMaaaaan  (maaaan) I feel\r\nGooood (gooood)\r\nDaaaamn, (daaamn) just like I\r\nShooould (Poppies!  Poppies!  Poppies!)\r\nYes, I'm gonna pick that up\r\nYes, I swear I'm gonna clean that up\r\nNo, don't let the dog like that up\r\nMan that was just nasty\r\n\r\nTry to eat a little more\r\nRamen noodles I adore\r\nOnly ate two noodles but I\r\nThrew up 24\r\nI'm going huuuuuul!  Ew this soda's flat\r\nI'm going huuuuuul!  Oh, don't step in that\r\nI'm going huuuuuul!  Got some on the cat\r\nI'm going huuuuuul!  Sleep on my bath mat\r\nProblem with the toilet bowl\r\n'Cause it only has one hole\r\nSo like water polo I just\r\nSplash around the hole (Splash around the hole)\r\nSplash around the hole (Splash around the hole)\r\nSplash around the hole (Splash around the hole)\r\nAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH   CCHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!\r\nPile of tissues on the floor\r\nSticking to the bathroom door\r\nWhen I blow my nose it's sounding\r\nLike a lion's roar\r\nI'm going *thbbbbbb!*  Blow my nose again!\r\nI'm going *thbbbbbb!*  Blow my nose again!\r\nI'm going *thbbbbbb!*  Blow my nose again!\r\nI'm going *thbbbbbb!*  Blow my nose again!\r\nHead to toe with aches and pains\r\nCan't wait till my sinus drains\r\nCan't wait till I can bathe 'cause my\r\nUnderwear has stains\r\nI got the fluuuuuu!  Here we go again\r\nI got the fluuuuuu!  Like it has no end\r\nI got the fluuuuuu!  Now my neck won't bend\r\nI got the fluuuuuu!  Work just called again\r\n\r\nWhat....  No, no I'm not feeling any better....   \r\nDid you try hitting the caps-lock key....  \r\nYeah, ok great.  Bye.","private":"0","comments":"Someone suggested I do a parody of Crank Dat by Soulja Boy.  I had never heard the song and had to look it up.  After one listen I knew I had to parody the song.  SOMEONE had to, and it might as well be me.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2008-01-12","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"29\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"10","cover":"fatal-error-cover.jpg","url":"fatal-error"},{"id":"134","title":"The Geeks Come Out At Night","artist":"1","file":"The_Geeks_Come_Out_At_Night.mp3","freemp3":"The_Geeks_Come_Out_At_Night.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 25\";}","parodyof":"The Freaks Come Out At Night by Whodini","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";i:1;s:3:\" 25\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";}","lyrics":"Tom: \"Um.. I think the party's down this way.  \r\nHere we go.  Room 1327.\"\r\nLuke: \"1327?  I stayed in this room last year!  \r\nYou wouldn't believe what happened to me in there.  \r\nThere was this chick...\"\r\nTom: \"Hey hey hey!  I do not need that visual image.  \r\nLet's just go inside.\"\r\n\r\nTom: \"Hey, can I get one of those... \r\ndrinks, whatever it is.  The purple stuff, \r\nthat's bubbling.  Yeah.  Thanks.\"\r\nLuke: \"Oh, there she is!  Hi!\"\r\nLuke: \"Woot!  Hey look, she's taking it off.  \r\nShe's taking it off! \r\nTom: \"Woah!  That's not right.\"\r\nLuke: \"I did NOT know you could pierce that.  Wow.\"\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nThe geeks come out at night\r\nThe geeks come out at night\r\nThe geeks come out at night\r\n(the geeks come out!)\r\nThe geeks come out at night\r\n\r\n[verse 1]\r\nAt most conventions are nerds and geeks\r\nWho greet their favorite stars with howls and shrieks\r\nBut when they're done marveling at Bruce Campbell's chin\r\nThe room parties open- real fun begins!\r\nFreakin' out the mundanes and several noobs\r\nBy eating live Gach out of Klingon boobs\r\nCleavage and food make a wonderful pair\r\nAnd you an find 'em at room parties everywhere, cause\r\n(chorus 2x)\r\n\r\n[verse 2]\r\nNow when geeks get dressed it's like they're going to war\r\nThey like to dress as Sontari, Browncoats and Borg\r\nBat Girl, Wonder Woman and Seven Of Nine\r\nDrinking things from where the warp core don't shine\r\nPrincess Leia slave girl with the Death Star plans\r\nAnd even one as Babs Bunny for the furry fans\r\nThen again I think the trippiest sight I'd see\r\nIs when a hot fan girl dresses up like me, 'cause\r\n(chorus 2x)\r\n\r\n[verse 3]\r\nNow the party's jumpin', the place is packed\r\nAnd Rob Balder's eatin' Cheez Whiz off a girl's rack\r\nBut before I decide what I want to do\r\nThey start screening next season's Doctor Who\r\nGeeks come in all kinds of wacky get-ups\r\nThere's one who's dressing like a smurf with a ninja set up\r\nAnd there's a couple pirates with hooks for hands\r\nI guess they won't get to grope Ginger or Mary-Anne\r\nYou might see a couple dressed like Leela and Fry\r\nAnd you may never catch a geek without at least one die\r\nAnd they got rum, and some Romulan Ale\r\nBut go easy 'cause that stuff'll make you grow a tail\r\nIt's really not a joke but you don't have to go far\r\nTo see a Klingon and a Vulcan walk into a bar\r\nSo if you wanna live like a geek some time\r\nCome and party like it's 2999, 'cause\r\n(chorus 2x)\r\n\r\ndude 1: \"Dude, check out the geeks.\"\r\ndude 2: \"Huh, what a bunch of freakin' losers.\"\r\n\r\ngeek 1: \"Ugh, mundanes.\"\r\ngeek 2: \"Ah, don't worry about them.\"\r\n\r\ndude 1: \"Heh, heh, beam me up, Scotty!!\"\r\n\r\nboth geeks: \"ERRRR, FOOTBALL!\"\r\n\r\n[Dalek voice]\r\nNerds, geeks, we planned for weeks\r\nThis party room has its own mystique\r\nGet loose y'all, look at Sheryl now\r\nEverybody everybody she's naked now\r\nWe got juice y'all, and tequila y'all\r\nEverybody everybody cop a feel y'all\r\nGet it out now, get the vodka out\r\nAnd pour a double now, that's what I'm about\r\nNerds, geeks, we planned for weeks\r\nThis party room has its own mystique\r\nNerds, geeks, we planned for weeks\r\nThe wookie over there is starting to reek\r\nNerds, geeks, we planned for weeks\r\nLuke Ski's in the corner getting ready to streak\r\nGet drunk y'all, put a smile on\r\nEverybody everybody he's a Cylon!\r\nYou'll admit this party was great\r\nOr I will exterminate!\r\n\r\n(chorus repeat and fade)\r\n\r\nLuke: \"Who's that making out with Captain Jack Sparrow?\"\r\nTom: \"Um... looks like Captain Jack Harkness.\"\r\nLuke: \"Figures.\"","private":"0","comments":"Inspiration for this song hit while I was in my garage working and listening to Dementia Radio.  The DJ played The Freaks Come Out At Night and the idea for this song popped into my head.  I called Luke immediately to tell him about it and ask if he wanted to be involved.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2008-06-12","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"78\";i:1;s:3:\" 40\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"21","cover":"gnome-sane-cover.jpg","url":"gnome-sane"},{"id":"136","title":"Brain Food","artist":"1","file":"Brain_Food.mp3","freemp3":"Brain_Food.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 25\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";}","lyrics":"[chorus]\r\nBrains! Brains! Rippin' off heads for fun\r\nEatin' up everyone, swallow and wallow\r\nIn their screams and cries! \r\nBrains!  Brains! It's cute that you have a gun,\r\ngo ahead and try to run, We won't stop eating\r\nuntil everyone dies!\r\n\r\n[verse 1]\r\nBrains!  Brains!  Another zombie on the prowl\r\nGot a permanent scowl from my decomposed jowl\r\nYou should see my exposed bowel and varicose veins\r\nMy remains get me meals when the victim faints\r\nThere's no pain, at least not for me when I eat\r\nAnd some days I prefer to give chase down the street\r\nAlthough my life has expired I get whatever's desired\r\nMaybe they can run faster but I never get tired\r\nNight, dawn, or day, yeah, you know we ain't playin'\r\n(KNAREMUMLABUH!) Yeah, that's what I'm sayin'\r\nYou may be surprised, but yes I will eat your eyes\r\nAnd I'll take 'em super-sized with a soda and fries\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\n[verse 2]\r\nMy cematary's been very good to me\r\nIt should be, in fact it's like a hood to me\r\nZombies leave the mausoleum where you see 'em all stalkin'\r\nRising from the crypt, so we call it Crypt Walkin'\r\nAin't no other zombie bad as me\r\nOr mad as me, or wears as much plaid as me\r\nSince I've gotten the curse now I can shoot like a geyser\r\nYou say autopsy, I say appetizer\r\nBrains are the main course, plain of course\r\nYou'll give me yours, or I'll just take 'em by force\r\nI like 'em raw, the prettiest sight I ever saw\r\nWas when they showed me how to suck 'em out your ears through a straw\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\n[bridge to verse 3]\r\nNow rip off your arms and throw 'em in the air\r\nAnd toss 'em all around like you really don't care\r\nAnd if you feel like eatin' out tonight\r\nSomebody say... BRAINS!\r\n(crowd: BRAINS!)  Aw yeah\r\nNow kick it MC Fleshy Fresh\r\neeaaatt brraaaainsss\r\nlooots killinnnggg\r\ntaaaste greaaat\r\nleeeess fiilllliiinngg\r\nMy bitches bring me riches by removing their britches\r\nWhich is compensation for their complementary stitches\r\nThey'll take it anywhere or you can make a new hole\r\nA little necrophilia is good for the soul\r\nLet me remind it's hard to find \r\nA girl with a nice behind who likes you for your mind\r\nShe might bite your face, but she just wants a taste\r\n'Cause a brain is a terrible thing to waste\r\nYou'll never know how far we go\r\nIf you kill me I come back like Mario\r\nSo don't try, unless you wanna die which is fine\r\nWith me, 'cause I could really use something to eat\r\n(chorus)","private":"0","comments":"This song was recorded specifically for an episode of Mur Lafferty's The Takeover (<a href=\"http:\/\/www.zombinc.net\" target=_blank>zombinc.net<\/a>), which is an audio drama about a corporation that gets bought out by another company that only employs zombies.<br><br>\r\n\r\nBrain Food is a gangsta rap song sung by zombies. Think ZWA, Zombies With Attitudes, or something. This song appears in episode 6 of The Takeover.<br><br>\r\n\r\nBig thanks to The Great Luke Ski and Seamonkey for the background zombies, and Thom for the great music. This song was also released on The FuMP on Mur's birthday.  Happy Birthday, Mur!","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2008-07-20","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"78\";i:1;s:3:\" 41\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"21","cover":"gnome-sane-cover.jpg","url":"gnome-sane"},{"id":"135","title":"Bacon 2: Electric Boogaloo","artist":"1","file":"Bacon_2:_Electric_Boogaloo.mp3","freemp3":"Bacon_2:_Electric_Boogaloo.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"BACON! by The Great Luke Ski","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Now you can say a lot about a guy like me\r\nI'm a spazzy fanboy watching too much TV\r\nCollecting action figures, comic books and such\r\nAnd I like Wonder Woman just a little too much\r\nBut there is one thing you would be very mistaken\r\nTo question my devotion it will never be shaken\r\nIf you do you'll see my wrath and then you'll be quakin'\r\nTo put it plain and simply, I\r\nLove... Kevin....\r\nBacon\r\n\r\nI put Bacon on my wish list when I order DVDs\r\nI saw Bacon sing with Big Bird when I learned my ABCs\r\nI saw Bacon fight a creature that came right up through the ground\r\nBut in the many sequels he was nowhere to be found\r\nI watch Bacon all alone, I watch Bacon in a group\r\nI watch Bacon on my iPod while I'm trying to make a poop\r\nI'll watch Bacon play a psycho or a woman or a frog\r\nThen I'll write a new review and you can read it in my blog\r\nBacon is so awesome and so handsome and so slick\r\nBacon could play every-damn-body in the flick\r\nBacon is so great he had so many huge hits\r\nBacon is the man that I want raising all my kids\r\n\r\n(two thumbs up)\r\n\r\nIf you say I like him too much well I say the Hell with that\r\nAs I'm feeding Kevin Bacon, yes that's what I named my cat\r\nI just saw him again with a couple hot chicks\r\nAnd the movie came to me thanks to good ol' NetFlix\r\nSo call me a freak, an obsessive little geek\r\nAnd I'll pull out my naked photo and won't let you take a peek\r\nHe does movies and the theater and even writes some songs\r\nAnd I learned them all so on his tour I could sing along\r\nI watch Bacon in the morning, I watch Bacon in the night\r\nI have pictures in my bath tub so he's never out of sight\r\nI can make a personal connection now with ease\r\nI can link myself to Bacon when I'm playing 6 Degrees\r\nI recorded a bit about J-Lo for a Raymond and Scum song\r\nRaymond and Scum's lead singer is Jeff Smith.\r\nJeff Smith directed Stupid Teenagers Must Die with Lindsay Gareth\r\nLindsay Gareth was in The Comebacks with Jim Cody Williams\r\nJim Cody Williams was in Rails and Ties with Kevin Bacon!\r\n\r\n(two thumbs up)\r\n\r\nCould it be a big conspiracy he takes so many rolls\r\nBacon played a flatliner who woke up angry souls\r\nBacon shows up more often than orange traffic cones\r\nMaybe there's a guy who's making lots of Bacon clones\r\nBacon was an astronaut who went up in Apollo\r\nBacon played a man who turned out to be hollow\r\nBacon' always gracious every time he meets a fan\r\nThankfully he didn't play Becky on Roseanne\r\nBacon never takes a roll just to make a buck\r\nBacon didn't star in Transformers 'cause it sucked\r\nIn some of his releases, he's been blown to pieces\r\nBut wasn't down with any of the Star Wars re-releases\r\nBacon told Titanic not to make a stupid film\r\nBacon's normal so he has no use for Dr. Phil\r\nBacon always plays each role with such a great aplomb\r\nBacon was a victim who got killed by Jason's mom\r\nBacon proved to Nicholson he could handle the truth\r\nBacon's only flaw is that he's never done a spoof\r\nThe song stopped, what the hey?!\r\nThere was a writer's strike, so I got nothing to say\r\nBacon is the master he's what life is all about\r\nBacon is the only reason that I leave my house\r\nBacon is the leader of the only bacon church\r\nBacon will be found by anyone willing to search\r\nBacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon show me more\r\nBacon Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon encore!\r\nSo you wanna see that new movie that starts at 8:04?\r\nAs if I have the time to watch movies anymore!!","private":"0","comments":"Ever since Luke posted his song BACON! to The FuMP I've been wanting to parody it.  I was having trouble coming up with anything good until I decided to do a tribute to the 6-degrees man himself.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2008-04-10","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"39\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"137","title":"Busted","artist":"1","file":"Busted.mp3","freemp3":"Busted.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:5:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 42\";i:2;s:3:\" 34\";i:3;s:3:\" 25\";i:4;s:3:\" 41\";}","guests":"a:4:{i:0;s:2:\"42\";i:1;s:3:\" 34\";i:2;s:3:\" 25\";i:3;s:3:\" 41\";}","lyrics":"(verse 1)\r\nI see her at the bus stop again in her sexy\r\nPink top again, she's a perfect ten\r\nShe's my dream girl, fantasy girl, the one I love\r\nAnd the reason that I've worn a hole in that glove\r\nDays go by and I try to say hi\r\nBut I'm way too shy, scared of the reply\r\nSo I go to Plan B to get her noticing me\r\nI wrote a poem on her door called Otis and Me\r\nOtis is my cat, and damn her\r\nShe didn't respond, she just corrected my grammar\r\nI tried to juggle gerbils and she didn't even look\r\nI guess I couldn't catch her eye without a fishhook\r\nSo I'm looking in her window trying not to get caught\r\nI see her watching a show, this gives me a thought\r\nIf I can find some way to do what they do maybe she\r\nWill go with me, so now a MythBuster I have to be\r\nMythBusters!\r\n\r\n(verse 2)\r\nThe first success that I can truly claim is\r\nI grew a mustache way cooler than Jamie's\r\nI made up a list of some myths and stuff\r\nThen I found a place where I could blow them up\r\nMyth one, every ISP\r\nHas government spies to watch terrorist activity\r\nIn the community, deny it all you want\r\nThere are thousands of terrorists in Rutland Vermont\r\nThen I moved on to some harder ones\r\nAbout microwaves, nuns, and particle guns\r\nI blew 'em up good, and that's when\r\nI saw the piece of my thumb was missing again\r\nSo what was the result after all these cases?\r\nThe hospital knows me on a first name basis\r\nBut the girl still doesn't know me from Adam\r\nOr Jamie, or Kari, or Buster, dagnab 'em \r\nMythBusters!\r\n\r\n(spoken bridge)\r\nme: So I found out one day that the show was \r\nlooking for volunteers, and before I knew what I \r\nhad gotten myself into I was on the set with \r\nJamie and Adam.\r\nAdam: So tell me about this myth.\r\nJamie: OK, it's simple.  The myth is that if \r\na nerd talks to a hot girl in a non-fast-food-\r\nordering environment that his head will explode.\r\nAdam: Sounds right up our alley, especially \r\nthe exploding part.  So how do we test this?\r\nJamie: Well we have a volunteer nerd, and we're \r\ngoing to set him up on a blind date with Kari.\r\nAdam: Alright, let's do it.\r\nAnnouncer: Our nerd has been told he's meeting \r\none of the show's producers at this fancy \r\nFrench restaurant.  Let's see what happens when \r\nKari shows up.\r\nKari: Hi, I'm Kari.  Nice to meet you.\r\nme: I... uh... u... Tom.\r\nKari: Hi Tom.  So where are you from?\r\nme: al... ulgh... I'd... like a ten piece McNugget meal.... super size.\r\nKari: I don't think they have McNuggets here.  \r\nI hear the shrimp scampi is good though.  I think \r\nI'll try that.\r\nme: ah... uh... thank you, drive through.\r\nKari: (chuckles) You're cute.  Where'd you \r\nsay you were from again?\r\nme: uh... New Jers...(vomit)\r\nAnnouncer: As soon as our nerd tries to say \r\nsomething non fast food related, he blows his top.\r\nAdam: Well his head didn't explode.\r\nJamie: I don't know.  That vomit was pretty \r\nexplosive.  I'm prepared to call this myth plausible. \r\nAdam: I can live with that.\r\n(clunking sound)\r\n\r\n(verse 4)\r\nSo I go home, man I just wanna be alone\r\nBut I find myself fending off freaks on the phone\r\nTalk shows, news, and a couple old friends\r\nWanna talk, while I just wanna plot my revenge\r\nIt'll take time but it sure will be fine when\r\nI go \"savage\" on Adam and kick Jamie in the \"heineman\"\r\nI'll be nice to Kari, maybe give her some employment\r\nBut I'm keeping buster for my personal enjoyment\r\nI was humiliated as can be\r\nWhen the girl walked by me and smiled at me\r\nShe said that she wanted me to know that it was\r\nHer favorite show, but she thought what they did was pretty low\r\nI think I just grunted, I'm not really sure\r\n'Cause the whole episode is kind of a blur\r\nBut she said I should come visit her to watch the show\r\nSome time, and I said yeah, that would be fi...(vomit)\r\nMythbusters!\r\n\r\ngirl: I guess that means you like me, huh?\r\n","private":"0","comments":"For this song I decided to try to do something a little different. Rather than just do a generic song about the show I thought about what might happen if a desperate man used this show to try to impress a woman.\r\n\r\nThis show has the added benefit of being one where they're constantly saying \"don't try this at home.\"\r\n\r\nThis is certainly the way it would go if I tried it, anyway.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2008-10-02","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"48\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"138","title":"Lean Christmas","artist":"1","file":"Lean_Christmas.mp3","freemp3":"Lean_Christmas.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Hey! This is Christmas! I hope we don't miss this\r\nMy kids have half of Walmart on their wish list\r\nBut I'm flat broke so I scrape and I scrounge\r\nAll around, hey now, found a quarter in the couch!\r\n\"Alright, book of matches for Mommy.\"\r\n\r\nThings are pretty lean this year and I fear\r\nThat there may be a real lack of holiday cheer\r\nUnless I come into some money, like if I won the lottery\r\nOr joined a blood bank, and dug into an artery\r\n'Cause right now I just haven't got a dime\r\nOut of work, out of money, and I'm running out of time\r\nAnd I don't know what to do, man, haven't got a plan\r\nThe way it's going our house will be as festive as Iran\r\nMost people shop at Toys R Us or at the mall\r\nI'm at the dollar store and can't afford nothin' at all\r\nI dig deep into my pocket to see what I can find\r\nExcuse me, what can I get for two buttons and a piece of twine?\r\nHey there's a toy car with some dents\r\nAnd only three wheels, but it's marked down to ten cents\r\nNow if only I had that much money I'd be set\r\nGuess it's time to raid the fountain to see what I can get\r\n\r\nHey! This is Christmas! I hope we don't miss this\r\nMy kids have half of Walmart on their wish list\r\nBut I'm flat broke so I scrape and I scrounge\r\nAll around, hey now, found a dime in the couch!\r\n\"Cool, now I can get my daughter that \r\ngumball she's been wanting.\"\r\n\r\nMaybe this won't be so bad after all\r\nI just need to get creative when I deck the halls\r\nLike instead of a tree I'll use that broom over there\r\nAnd hang some pantyhose by the chimney with care\r\nOutdoor decorations won't be hard\r\nI'll tie a branch on my dog and make him stand in the yard\r\nPoison ivy works as well as mistletoe can\r\nAnd for dinner we're gonna have a big ol' ham\r\nSandwich that we'll have to split five ways\r\nAnd it's gonna have to last for a couple o' days\r\nAnd the trimmings, yeah, we're gonna have all of 'em\r\nPopcorn balls, potato chips, and M&Ms\r\nI can't afford eggnog or any other perk\r\nBut I found a little three month old milk that aught to work\r\nAnd I think I still have a fruitcake from last year\r\nAround here somewhere, Merry Christmas, dear!\r\n\r\nHey! This is Christmas! I hope we don't miss this\r\nMy kids have half of Walmart on their wish list\r\nBut I'm flat broke so I scrape and I scrounge\r\nAll around, hey now, found a nickel in the couch!\r\n\"This is going right to Grandma and Grandpa. \r\nI'll tell them to go to the casino and play \r\nthe nickel slots. Maybe they'll win a dollar.\"\r\n\r\nBut then my kid come to me with a list, and I think\r\nThat there's no way in Hell I can afford any of this\r\nI say I'm sorry but I'm broke, there's no way that I can swing it\r\nAnd she says, that's OK, Daddy, Santa Claus will bring it\r\nAnd I feel my confidence rebound\r\nAnd know there's no way in Hell I'm gonna let my kids down\r\n'Cause children and family are what it's all about\r\nAnd besides, what's one more mortgage on the house?\r\n\r\nPaperwork filed, rate's locked in\r\nForty-seven signatures later I begin\r\nWhen I'm done shopping I'll be paying an amount\r\nFor around thirty years so I better make it count\r\nFor the girl, a life size walk in doll house\r\nWith a robot maid and a butler named Klaus\r\nFor the boy, I'll get him a race car bed\r\nOne that actually drives and has cool tire tread\r\nFor the baby, I'll get him this big pneumatic\r\nType swing thing with toys, the Neglect-O-Matic?\r\nAnd the wife, what woman could ask for more\r\nShe likes shoes so much, now she owns the damn store\r\nFor me, maybe I can finally get\r\nThat private jet, nah, maybe I'll just get a Vette\r\nI'm up to my pancreas in debt, but hey\r\nWhat can I say? It's the American way\r\n\r\nHey! This is Christmas! I hope we don't miss this\r\nMy kids have half of Walmart on their wish list\r\nBut I'm flat broke so I scrape and I scrounge\r\nAll around, hey now, found a penny in the couch!\r\n\"OK, I can put this on the train tracks, \r\nlet a train run over it and give it to my son. \r\nhen he can have his own mutant,... squished... \r\nportrait of Lincoln.... or something.\"","private":"0","comments":"Well the economy is in the toilet and Christmas is right around the corner. That should result in come interesting Christmases for some people. Remember, if you can't afford it, fake it! Ho ho ho!","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2008-12-06","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"78\";i:1;s:3:\" 49\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"21","cover":"gnome-sane-cover.jpg","url":"gnome-sane"},{"id":"139","title":"Life In The Fleet","artist":"1","file":"Life_In_The_Fleet.mp3","freemp3":"Life_In_The_Fleet.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 42\";}","parodyof":"\"Live Your Life\" by T.I. featuring Rihanna","backgroundcredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:2:\"42\";i:1;s:3:\" 41\";i:2;s:3:\" 34\";}","guests":"a:3:{i:0;s:2:\"42\";i:1;s:3:\" 41\";i:2;s:3:\" 34\";}","lyrics":"battlestar\r\ngalactahee\r\ngalactawhoo\r\ngalactica-hah\r\n\r\nWas going fine, life didn't suck\r\nBut then one day, it all blew u-up\r\nCylon attack, was unprovoked\r\nTurned Caprica, to tapioca\r\nSo this is life (AYY! Ayy ayy ayy)\r\nWe're being chased by the cylons\r\nThis ain't no life (OHH! Ayy ayy ayy)\r\nAin't got no planet to hide on\r\nThis ain't no life (AYY! Ayy ayy ayy)\r\nNo tellin' where we may jump to\r\nThis ain't no life (OHH! Ayy ayy ayy)\r\nAnd now I hate my toaster\r\nThis ain't no life (AYY!) No life (OHH!)\r\nNo life (FRAK!) No life (OHH!)\r\nThis ain't no life (AYY!) No life (OHH!)\r\nNo life (FRAK!) No life (OHH!)\r\n\r\nThey say that we were lucky on that day we made our getaway\r\nBut I still think the lucky ones were those that got blown away\r\n'Cause they don't have to find a way to try to live from day to day\r\nRunning out of water so I'll drink Apollo's sweat today\r\nTrapped aboard a ship and yo it stinks here in a major way\r\nI guess with all the nukes nobody stopped to pack a body spray\r\nRunnin' out of things to say, small talk has all gone away\r\nWhat's the weather like? Black and airless just like every day\r\nI know we gotta go but what's so great about Earth anyway?\r\n'Cause I've heard they got songs by Beyonce and films by Michael Bay\r\nNever liked the cylons, but the skin jobs don't make me afraid\r\nWith all the number sixes I hope somebody is getting laid\r\nI pray to make it to a place where I can pass the time away\r\nI miss the gentle breeze, the trees, and not bein' shot at every day\r\nI do enjoy the ship but this is nothing like a holiday\r\nIn fact it fees like the Lucitania more every day\r\n\r\nwas going fine, life didn't suck\r\nBut then one day, it all blew u-up\r\nCylon attack, was unprovoked\r\nTurned Caprica, to tapioca\r\nSo this is life (AYY! Ayy ayy ayy)\r\nWe're being chased by the cylons\r\nThis ain't no life (OHH! Ayy ayy ayy)\r\nain't got no planet to hide on\r\nThis ain't no life (AYY! Ayy ayy ayy)\r\nNo tellin' where we may jump to\r\nThis ain't no life (OHH! Ayy ayy ayy)\r\nAnd now I hate my blender\r\n\r\nI feel like I ate a rotten burger every time we jump\r\nI think it's safe to say that my career is in a massive slump\r\nGlad that I work down here and I don't have to deal with politics\r\nClinging to the rule like a dead possum to a bunch of hicks\r\nWhenever I have problems I just fix it, I'm the one on call\r\nNever have to hear those stupid fraks say \"so say we all\"\r\nEverything I own fits in just a couple duffle bags\r\nWhat I wouldn't give for just a fresh supply of porno mags\r\nSome days I want to punch Baltar in his oh-so manly beard\r\nI've had to fix the toilets three times since Starbuck reappeared\r\nMaybe they're cylons, that wouldn't come as a surprise\r\nThe president, Apollo, anyone could be one in disguise\r\nThere are many copies so I'm pretty sure there should be plenty\r\nFor Sharon and I to have a manege-a-twenty\r\nThey say they found a way to take us to our new home planet\r\nNow I hear this song in my head all of a sudden, dammit\r\n\r\nwas going fine, life didn't suck\r\nBut then one day, it all blew u-up\r\nCylon attack, was unprovoked\r\nTurned Caprica, to tapioca\r\nSo this is life (AYY! Ayy ayy ayy)\r\nWe're being chased by the cylons\r\nThis ain't no life (OHH! Ayy ayy ayy)\r\nain't got no planet to hide on\r\nThis ain't no life (AYY! Ayy ayy ayy)\r\nNo tellin' where we may jump to\r\nThis ain't no life (OHH! Ayy ayy ayy)\r\nAnd now I hate my freezer\r\nThis ain't no life (AYY!) No life (OHH!)\r\nNo life (FRAK!) No life (OHH!)\r\nThis ain't no life (AYY!) No life (OHH!)\r\nNo life (FRAK!) No life (OHH!)\r\n(this ain't no life) ","private":"0","comments":"This song was released on The FuMP on the day the final season of Battlestar Galactica began on SciFi.  I love the show, but it must really suck to be one of those people trapped in the fleet on the run from the cylons.  That's what this song is about.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2009-01-14","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"52\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"140","title":"Why Are You Friending Me On Facebook?","artist":"1","file":"Why_Are_You_Friending_Me_On_Facebook.mp3","freemp3":"Why_Are_You_Friending_Me_On_Facebook.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Why are you friending me on Facebook, sure we used to\r\nDate, but I guess it just wasn't our fate\r\nI've spent a lot of time trying to forget you exist\r\nNow I see your friends online with the guy you cheated with\r\nI knew our relationship was over for sure\r\nThe day you dumped me on my ass like a truck of manure\r\nI dealt with it by never talking 'bout you again\r\nSo why in God's name would I want you as a friend\r\nWhy are you friending me on Facebook, dude\r\nI remember who you are and I don't want to be rude\r\nBut in middle school we weren't exactly very close\r\nIn fact I seem to remember that you broke my nose\r\nDaily beatings were our only interactions\r\nExcept for that month I was in traction, I remember\r\nWhen those friends of yours held me down on the matt\r\nI don't remember much of anything after that, so\r\nWhy are you friending me on Facebook? (4 times)\r\n\r\nWhy are you friending me on Facebook, jerk\r\nI can see you from here in your cubicle at work\r\nIn fact there's no place in this office that's safe from you\r\nSo I go home at five o'clock to get away from you\r\nI know what your status is at any given time\r\nI don't need to read it on that screen of mine\r\nSeeing it would just be a reminder from you\r\nOf how little work you actually do\r\nYou know it's bad enough I had to go and help our boss\r\nSet up a profile, oh the hours I lost\r\nDo you have any idea of the pain in my head\r\nFrom when I had to explain how to use the web\r\nI put up with your stupidity from 9 to 5\r\nBeyond that I don't even want to know you're alive\r\nSo forgive me if I don't accept your friend request\r\nBut believe me it's really for the best\r\nWhy are you friending me on Facebook? (4 times)\r\n\r\nNow I got a bunch of friends and we keep in touch\r\nWhich is fine but sometimes it can be a bit much\r\nLike I appreciate the invite to the concert for your band\r\nBut I have to work tomorrow and the show is in Japan\r\nAnd how many group invites must I ignore\r\nBefore you don't send them to me anymore\r\nThere are groups about soup, hoola hoops, and poop\r\nBut I did breakdown and finally joined the Angry Cup group\r\nBut now I kinda like the whole group thing because\r\nI can guilt you all into signing up for my cause\r\nI don't want to help the homeless or save endangered cheetahs\r\nI want Wendy's to bring back the chicken caesar pita\r\n\r\nWhy are you friending me on Facebook, at least\r\nWhen it's MySpace I know they'll try to sell their crappy beats\r\nIf you think I give a damn man you must be joking me\r\nWho the hell are you, and why are you poking me\r\nYou claim to be my father's brother's nephew's cousin's\r\nFormer roommate, that's great, it doesn't make us soul mates\r\nJust because I have a Kevin Bacon style connection with you\r\nIt doesn't mean I want to play Scrabble with you\r\nSo I'm gonna find your wall and know what I'm gonna write?\r\nThat you are great in bed, and I had fun last night\r\nJust to see the reaction that your wife will have\r\nOh, your a fan, and you saw me on the FuMP?\r\nMy bad!  Sure everyone's welcome, come along\r\nKindly disregard what I said in this song\r\nIf you want to be my friend well that's fine with me\r\n'Cause I'll be rockin' Facebook till I'm ninety-three\r\n\r\nWhy are you friending me on Facebook? (4 times)","private":"0","comments":" \t \t\r\nIf you are not one of the 200 million people using Facebook to reconnect with old casual acquaintances and stay up to date with what people in the next room are doing without actually having to talk to them you may not fully get this song. The rest of you will hopefully relate to it. I've had several instances where I've gotten a friend request on Facebook and reacted with \"Who?!\", \"Why?!\", or very often \"WTF?!\" But I always end up friending them anyway.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2009-05-10","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"78\";i:1;s:3:\" 55\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"21","cover":"gnome-sane-cover.jpg","url":"gnome-sane"},{"id":"141","title":"Platform Wars","artist":"1","file":"Platform_Wars.mp3","freemp3":"Platform_Wars.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 25\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"50\";}","guests":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";i:1;s:3:\" 50\";}","lyrics":"Hello, I'm a Mac, and I'm a PC\r\nYou can see me in homes wherever you happen to be\r\nNot to mention landfills and a couple of dumps\r\nBecause you need to be replaced every couple of months\r\nMacs on the other hand last for years\r\nBecause it takes you that long for you to dry your tears\r\nWhen you realize you spent enough to renovate some rooms\r\nAnd the only software you can run is iTunes\r\nI got software that can do anything\r\nFrom run the space shuttle to help you sing\r\nThey help you write when you get stuck, invest and make a quick buck\r\nMillions of titles, yeah, and all of them suck\r\nThey got a clunky interface and they waste too much space\r\nAnd they crash so damn much your table needs a leg brace\r\nYou really should try a Mac, sorry, but no I won't\r\nYou think I like the iMac and iPod well iDon't\r\n\r\nHello, I'm a Mac, and I'm a PC\r\nAnd I run all the best games in the industry\r\nWell I got games too, dude, what's with the greed\r\nI can run Snood, that's all I really need\r\nWhat about Office? At my job we've got to\r\nI can run Office, I just choose not to\r\nI can get by with Open Office and with Google Docs\r\nThey're completely free to me and also they completely rock\r\nPowerPoint is powerless and pointless like a butter knife\r\nOutlook always leaves me with a crappy outlook on life\r\nExcel only excels at crashing with is absurd\r\nAnd all the other apps suck too...WORD!\r\nI'm doing just fine without any of that crap\r\nIn face my Mac doesn't have a single Microsoft app\r\nSo, what, you want a medal?  What do I care?\r\nTry getting some songs off of your iPod there\r\nDon't tell me that you never crash 'cause I'll call shenanigans\r\n'Cause you freeze in place like a room full of mannequins\r\nI've seen you when it happens, you sit there and smile\r\nAnd watch the pretty colors spin around for a while\r\n\r\nHello, I'm a Mac, and I'm a PC\r\nAnd I'm a Linux box, heh, well obviously\r\nThe fact that you're a toaster kinda gave it away\r\nSo how's life as an appliance treating you today?\r\nYou can mock me, but you'll never stop me, I got game\r\nOnly toaster on the planet that can claim to run MAME\r\nCompiling my operating system's a breeze\r\nAnd I can burn toast as easily as DVDs\r\nYou compile your own OS? Dude are you nuts?\r\nYou trust Microsoft to do it and you're calling me the yuts?\r\nYou wouldn't catch me doin' that unless you gave me a lobotomy\r\nSo we agree on something, now go away you bother me\r\n\r\n(\"I'm a PC\" cameos, in order of appearance: \r\nStan Gregory, EMC from Positive Attitude, A-Log, \r\nMichael Fordice, Alchav, Jered Perez, Brian Risner, \r\nMario Camou, Ken Sherlock, Odd Austin, \r\nEric Brown (as Donald Duck), Kristi, Sam Hill)\r\nHow many PCs we got around here anyway?\r\ngroup: YO!\r\nI knew it, I'm surrounded by assholes\r\n\r\nHello, I'm a Mac, and I'm a PC\r\nAnd I'm more affordable than he will ever be\r\nWell you get what you pay for, oh don't start\r\nYou paid for a computer and got a piece of modern art\r\nWell you're about the ugliest thing I've ever seen\r\nAnd have the blue screen of death burned into your screen\r\nYou're overpriced, underpowered, and slower than soccer\r\nWith more kernel panics than Orville Redenbacher\r\n*achoo* Well what have we here?\r\nBetter renew your antivirus software another year\r\nI'll bet that you're regretting all those links you clicked \r\nA marriage counselor couldn't resolve that conflict\r\nWell I can download porn, yeah so can I\r\nThe only difference is that I don't get a virus when I try\r\nYou got a stupid mouse, you got window pains\r\nYou have to bow to Apple's whim, you're where the error reigns\r\nWell you suck, well you suck more\r\nYour mother wears army boots, what are you, four?\r\nYou big meanie, what, you gonna run home and cry\r\nYou're a stinky poopy-head, I know you are but what am I?","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2009-07-20","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"78\";i:1;s:3:\" 57\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"1","songart":"","albumId":"21","cover":"gnome-sane-cover.jpg","url":"gnome-sane"},{"id":"142","title":"Ho Is On The Rag","artist":"1","file":"Ho_Is_On_The_Rag.mp3","freemp3":"Ho_Is_On_The_Rag.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"Throw It In The Bag by Fabolous","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Ho Is On The Rag\r\n- lyrics, vocals: T. Rockwell\r\n- music: T. Uliasz\r\n\r\nYou guys know where this place is, right?\r\nI don't want to end up in no gay bar or something.\r\nThose guys would be all over me. 'Cause I look good!\r\n\r\nWhat's up ladies? How ya doin'?\r\nDon't all rush at once, now. There's plenty of me to go around.\r\n\r\n[intro]\r\nI know all the women are starin' at me now\r\nI know all the women here like what they see now\r\nI know all the women are blown away by my class\r\nI know all the women are starin' right at my ass\r\nHey girls, like what you see?\r\nGotta find me a woman as awesome as me\r\nI'm the one, they all want\r\nSo if she doesn't want to shag then she must be on the rag\r\n\r\nLadies, are you ready to be blown away.\r\nA guy like me only comes around like once a decade.\r\nSo don't miss your opportunity. Here I am!\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nUh-oh, uh-oh\r\nUh-oh, this ho is on the rag (repeat)\r\n\r\n[verse 1]\r\nLook at me now, all the women are\r\nI'm the main attraction, when I'm in the bar\r\nI know that I'm great, so let's see what she got\r\nThat girl is so-so, but her friend is hot\r\nI approach the pretty, tall, blond, slender one\r\nI buy a beer and ask the bartender to send her one\r\nYou're gettin' deja vu, and I know I'm right\r\n'Cause I know you saw me in your dream the other night\r\nYou know I'm very picky, and I picked you\r\nI know you like the view, now you know what you gotta do\r\nShe said what's that? *sniff* it doesn't smell right\r\nSaid I'm from Jersey, that's what it smells like\r\nBut don't be sweatin' that, just come along with me now\r\nThen she walked away, but I don't really see how\r\nOh I know the deal, man that's really dreadful\r\nPanties full of wings, and I don't mean from Red Bull\r\n(chorus 2x)\r\n\r\n[verse 2]\r\nThat's the only explanation, the same reason that\r\nA chick'll never run this nation, this ho is on the rag\r\nIt always seems to happen, I like her up until\r\nHer stupid mouth starts yappin', this ho is on the rag\r\nI know how to treat her, but after I meet her\r\nIt's like we're in the hospital, I think we got a bleeder\r\nAin't nothing personal, it's just that it's a bad sign\r\nThat very few women here are worthy of my time\r\nSo I'll try that one, no not the flat one\r\nand I ain't drunk enough yet to settle for the fat one\r\nOh you got a man, well he can't get you what you want\r\nHe's such a pussy that I bet he bleeds once a month\r\nDrop him like a cigarette, then forget you ever met\r\nYou know deep inside that I'm the best that you could ever get\r\nHer look was scary, I think her name was Teri\r\nBut I called her Bloody Mary, 'cause this ho is on the rag\r\n(chorus 2x)\r\n\r\n[bridge]\r\nGirl is pretty but I'll bet she's on the rag.\r\n(Mur Lafferty: HEY!) Yup, ho is on the rag.\r\nThere's another one, I bet she's on the rag.\r\n(Seamonkette: HEY!) Yup, ho is on the rag.\r\nHow could every woman here be on the rag?\r\n(Angela Polk, Voice Of Kiki, Sara Trice, \r\nEric Brown: HEY!) Ho is on the rag.\r\nCan't believe it, every ho is on the rag.\r\n(Angeltastic, DJ Sin, DJ Particle, Pat Brown, \r\nJudy from Channel Erk, Ronnie Sherlock : HEY!)\r\nHo is on the rag.\r\n(chorus)","private":"0","comments":"This song is a parody of Throw It In The Bag by Fabolous. If you're not familiar with that song you can see its video here. This is a song about a certain type of guy who we all know and probably hate. We've all had to deal with him at one point or another-the ladies probably more so than the gentlemen. If you currently know anyone like this don't bother playing this song for him. I'm sure he won't get the fact that he's being made fun of.\r\n\r\nFor this song I decided to sing the singing portion of the vocals myself for various reasons. Chris Mezzolesta of Power Salad helped me out with the AutoTune. After receiving my vocals he sent me an email which contained the phrase \"even AutoTune has its limits.\" Let's just say that I reserve the right to re-record the singing portion of this song with another vocalist.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2009-11-26","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"59\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"143","title":"I'm Not Your Personal IT Guy","artist":"1","file":"Im_Not_Your_Personal_IT_Guy.mp3","freemp3":"Im_Not_Your_Personal_IT_Guy.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:4:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 25\";i:2;s:3:\" 43\";i:3;s:3:\" 34\";}","guests":"a:3:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";i:1;s:3:\" 43\";i:2;s:3:\" 34\";}","lyrics":"<p>I'm Not Your Personal IT Guy<br>\r\nby Devo Spice<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus]<br>\r\nClick on help.  (Call someone else!)<br>\r\nOr figure out how to freakin' (Google it yourself!) (4 times)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 1]<br>\r\nI'm not your damn personal IT guy<br>\r\nI get no peace but at least now I see why (I say why me?)<br>\r\nYou ask me about computers, apparently I'm<br>\r\nThe only person who knows how to turn the damn things on<br>\r\nOh look, you can't configure your Outlook again<br>\r\nWell maybe you should write the settings down, my friend<br>\r\nBut that might require a little effort from you<br>\r\nAnd Mr. Big Shot has more important things to do<br>\r\nIt's fine if I have to explain it one time<br>\r\nBut we're at number 29 and I'm losing my mind<br>\r\nSo I'll just drop everything, deadlines be damned<br>\r\nAnd explain again though I know you'll never understand<br>\r\nClose all of those windows, let's begin<br>\r\nClick on this, click on that, now put your password in<br>\r\nSee, you don't need to be a total wiz<br>\r\nNo, I don't know what your password is<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 2]<br>\r\nWhy are your problems automatically mine<br>\r\nNo, it's fine, I've nothing better to do with my time<br>\r\nBut it's not like I ask you every day for help<br>\r\nWhen I make a dookie and I can't wipe myself<br>\r\nSo what were you trying to do when the error appeared?<br>\r\nThen I curse, 'cause it's even worse than I feared<br>\r\nI see your PC is an ancient jalopy<br>\r\nAnd you're trying to copy a DVD onto a floppy<br>\r\nFirst of all, where'd you even get a floppy disk?<br>\r\n'Cause really, I didn't think those things still exist<br>\r\nSecondly, I don't want to be a spoil sport<br>\r\nBut that's an ethernet cable, that's a USB port<br>\r\nIf you buy something new and don't know how to hook it up<br>\r\nIt doesn't make you less of a man to look it up<br>\r\nYou claim you're not an idiot, well prove me wrong<br>\r\nAnd stop giving me more material for this song<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>*beep*<br>\r\n\"Hey Tom.  I was wondering if you could help me out.    <br>\r\n(Oh, here we go.)<br>\r\nI picked up a PC on ebay and got a great deal.<br>\r\n(Uh-huh.)<br>\r\nIt's a Pentium \"eye-eye\" with 16 \"M.B.\" of \"R.A.M.\", whatever that is, <br>\r\nand it's running at 120 \"M.H.Z.\"<br>\r\nIs that fast?  And I want to see about installing Windows 7 on it.  <br>\r\nCan you help me out with that?<br>\r\n(Bill Gates couldn't help you do that.)<br>\r\nAnyway I got a great deal on it.<br>\r\n(No, you got ripped off.)<br>\r\nSo I bought some songs from the Windows Media store and <br>\r\nI can't get them onto my iPhone.<br>\r\n(Of course.)<br>\r\nI was wondering if you could help me with that.<br>\r\nAlso I'm working with some pictures I took.  I <br>\r\ndownloaded <br>\r\nPhotoShop from this web site I found<br>\r\n(Oh no.)<br>\r\nand I can't find the red-eye reduction button.  Do you know where it is?  <br>\r\nOh, and while I was<br>\r\non that web site I got an alert that my PC was infected with a virus, <br>\r\nso I clicked on it and<br>\r\ndownloaded a bunch of software.<br>\r\n(You didn't!)<br>\r\nSo I should be protected now, but my PC seems to be running <br>\r\nawfully slow all of a sudden.<br>\r\n(Well yeah, NOW you're infected.)<br>\r\nI was wondering if you could give me a hand with that.  <br>\r\nGive me a call when you get this. Thanks, Tom.<br>\r\n(I most certainly will not!)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 3]<br>\r\nIt happens every day, and I can't get away<br>\r\n'Cause they follow me around like a dog who wants to play<br>\r\nI know when my phone rings my day will be wrecked<br>\r\nWhen my boss says \"Tom, can I see you for a sec?\"<br>\r\nA second rapidly becomes an hour and a half<br>\r\nI would laugh, but I'm not part of the IT staff<br>\r\nSo I don't know what I'm doing, I just click around and curse<br>\r\nAnd pray to various gods that I don't make the problem worse<br>\r\nFunny how I said before this day was gonna drag<br>\r\nNow I'm workin' quick 'cause his cologne is making me gag<br>\r\nHe says I have to fix it and it can't wait till later<br>\r\nAnd somehow it's my fault he never backed up his data<br>\r\nThere's still a couple quirks and it's making me berzerker <br>\r\nDammit Jim, I'm a Mac, not a miracle worker<br>\r\nAnd when I finally fix every problem he ever had<br>\r\nMy uncle calls asking 'bout his son's Leap Pad<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"This is the first song for which I've done the music myself in about 2 years.  Previously the last song I did myself was Pac-Man.  It was fun getting back into the music.\r\n\r\nThis song was included on the Rhyme Torrents 9 compilation available at <a href=\"http:\/\/www.rhymetorrents.com\" target=_blank>www.rhymetorrents.com<\/a>.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2010-02-01","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"78\";i:1;s:3:\" 62\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"21","cover":"gnome-sane-cover.jpg","url":"gnome-sane"},{"id":"144","title":"Disclaimer","artist":"1","file":"Disclaimer.mp3","freemp3":"Disclaimer.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"[chorus 1]\r\nDisclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer (spoken sample)\r\nDisclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer (spoken sample)\r\nDisclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer (spoken sample)\r\nDisclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer (spoken sample)\r\n\r\n[verse 1]\r\nDisclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer, whether the universe is\r\nMade of branes or more like spaghetti in a strainer\r\nWe're ready to explain all the secrets of the universe\r\nThat is of course assuming all the humans don't destroy it first\r\nLooming in the distance is the doom of our existence\r\nLike a piece of pizza microwaved on high for thirty minutes\r\nOr the cake you make and shove into the oven overnight\r\nYou can smother it with frosting, but it still won't taste right\r\nScience is the chef mixing up the best ingredients \r\nThe genius is when it falls within the standard deviance\r\nBut even when it doesn't you can learn from a mistake\r\nLike if you try to bake a pie and instead you get a steak\r\nLearning from what turned out wrong's important to the mission\r\nIf you don't adjust your vision then you're just a politician\r\nWishin' some magician can make the wrong foods disappear\r\nBut now I've made myself hungry, let's get outta here\r\n\r\n[chorus 2]\r\nDisclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer (spoken sample)\r\nDisclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer (spoken sample)\r\nDisclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer (spoken sample)\r\nDisclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer (spoken sample)\r\n\r\n[verse 2]\r\nDisclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer, the only thing\r\nThat's stranger than fiction are the facts in contradiction\r\nWith our rational thought, but that's what quantum theory brought\r\nAnd it makes my mind weary with the havoc that it's wrought \r\nI'm far from a dunce, I know some particles are runts\r\nBut explain to me how they can be in two places at once\r\nThat's a trick I'd like to try when the in-laws drop by\r\nAnd I could teleport to some resort and never need to fly\r\nScience will tackle all the incomprehensible\r\nAnd try to make sense of all the dense and nonsensical\r\nLike strings, rings, really small things, dark matter\r\nAnd the universe expanding, guess that's why I'm getting fatter\r\nSo although my understanding may be lacking where I want it\r\nThankfully there's people smarter than me working on it\r\nSo I'll pretend to comprehend the snack that I just bought\r\n'Cause I've completely lost my train of thought\r\n\r\n[chorus 3]\r\nDisclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer (spoken sample)\r\nDisclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer (spoken sample)\r\nDisclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer (spoken sample)\r\nDisclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer (spoken sample)\r\n\r\n[spoken bridge]\r\nFor centuries scientists have been villainized, \r\nand I don't just mean in horror movies, as cool as \r\nthose characters are.  Copernicus was excommunicated* \r\nfor teaching that the earth was not the center \r\nof the universe.  \r\nDa Vinci did anatomical drawings in secret because \r\ndissection was forbidden.**\r\nGalileo had really nasty things written on a piece \r\nof paper and taped to his back without his knowledge.***  \r\nHeck, Darwin's teachings are still being viewed as a \r\nsign of the apocalypse \r\n150 years later.  The way these people talk you'd \r\nthink Einstein was the Angel of Death and Stephen \r\nHawking was the freakin' Anti-Christ!\r\nStephen Hawking: Bow down before me as I bring about \r\nthe destruction of mankind.  Ha ha ha!\r\n\r\n[verse 3]\r\nDisclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer, we're seeking the truth \r\nSo it should be a no-brainer, that we're always \r\nRight as we enlighten you with our science news\r\nBut the truths that we discover may not represent the views\r\nOf the University of California, Davis, KDVS\r\nOr it's sponsors, and while scientists are not monsters\r\nThey may still be portrayed that way on SyFy Saturday nights\r\nThey're really curing various plights and helping her to whiten her whites\r\nThis is science!  Not a bru-ha-ha\r\nLike the Oktoberfest band playing oom-pah-pah\r\nThe scientific drums beat in ever changing stanzas\r\nWhile I go buy some oceanfront property in Kansas\r\nSo race into space, and see how far we go\r\n'Cause the universe is even bigger than Kanye West's ego\r\nAnd although you know I've mastered the art of the run on\r\nSentence, I still have to mention \r\n\r\n[chorus 4]\r\nDisclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer (spoken sample)\r\nDisclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer (spoken sample)\r\nDisclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer (spoken sample)\r\nDisclaimer, disclaimer, disclaimer (...this week in Science, coming up next)\r\n*paper crumples*\r\n\r\n\r\n*It looks like he wasn't ever officially excommunicated, \r\neven though that is the popular belief.\r\n**This is also somewhat of an urban legend, as he was \r\napparently granted permission to perform the dissections.\r\n***This is 100% true and I stand by it.","private":"0","comments":"This song was written for the This Week In Science podcast which is a weekly science show hosted by Kirsten Sanford- or Dr. Kiki as she's known online- and Justin Jackson. The show is broadcast out of KDVS in California, which is a non-profit college radio station. As many non-profit stations do they hold a fund raiser every year to cover the operating costs of the station. To help with the fund raiser This Week In Science puts together a compilation CD of science related songs and gives it away to people who pledge a certain amount of money to the station. This is my submission for this year's compilation. World Robot Domination was included on the 2007 TWIS compilation.\r\n\r\nAt the beginning of each show Justin does a disclaimer so that the station isn't liable if someone gets offended by any of the science news being presented. I always found it odd that science is the quests for truth and knowledge and yet it has to have a disclaimer. That, plus the fact that people tend to take the words of scientists and twist them around and manipulate them to serve their own agenda provided the inspiration for this song. In fact I I did that very thing with this song using Justin's own disclaimers.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2010-03-31","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"63\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"145","title":"Flight Check","artist":"1","file":"Flight_Check.mp3","freemp3":"Flight_Check.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 51\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 51\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"41\";}","guests":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"51\";i:1;s:3:\" 41\";}","lyrics":"(Control) Aeronotic Inversion 1327 you are clear to land on runway 6.\r\n(Pilot) Aeronotic Inversion 1327, that's a negative. We're in the middle of a really good game of Scrabble at the moment and want to get it finished before we land. Request permission to circle the airport for the next few hours?\r\n(Control) Aeronotic Inversion 1327, permission granted. And remember Kazakhstan is worth 30 points!\r\n\r\n(chorus 1)\r\n(both:) Flight Check! (Devo:) Check out what you have to do to fly!\r\n(both:) Flight Check! (Ian:) Crammed into a bullet in the sky!\r\n(both:) Flight Check! (Devo:) Maybe if you're lucky you won't die!\r\n(Ian:) And it's just plane crazy and it makes me want to cry\r\n(both:) Flight Check! (Devo:) Check out what you have to do to fly!\r\n(both:) Flight Check! (Ian:) Crammed into a bullet in the sky!\r\n(both:) Flight Check! (Devo:) Maybe if you're lucky you won't die!\r\n(Ian:) There are safer and easier ways to get high\r\n\r\n(verse 1)\r\nI wish they'd freakin' hurry up and make a teleporation\r\nDevice so I don't have to fly when I go on vacation\r\nThat'd be nice, but nooo, quantum physics is haaard\r\nSo I get to keep being treated like a convict in a prison yard\r\nAs of today the TSA say you might\r\nHave to arrive 3 days early just so to catch your damn flight\r\nAnd the parking lot's a lot like parking in an abyss\r\nI think my house is actually closer than this\r\nI make it to the gate on time but find a huge line\r\nBecause the plane seats forty-two, but they sold a eighty-nine\r\nTickets for it, so we were stuck for hours standing there\r\nWhile the kid in line behind me wiped some chocolate in my hair\r\nAt least I hope that it was chocolate, *splat* anyway\r\nI finally found the ticket counter some time the next day\r\nThe girl spoke Swahili and hated men, that was when\r\nI realized I'd never see my luggage again\r\nThe first carry-on is free, I need my glasses to see\r\nWell that counts as number two so that'll be an extra fee\r\nI didn't have a choice so I paid, but I protested\r\nAnd then headed to security so I could be molested\r\nThey put my dangerous pocket change in a can\r\nThen I had an X-RAY, MRI, and CAT scan\r\nWhen they examined all my fillings I screamed 'cause I had had it\r\nWhy don't you just give me a prostate exam while you're at it\r\n(chorus)\r\n(both:) Flight Check! (Devo:) Check out what you have to do to fly!\r\n(both:) Flight Check! (Ian:) Crammed into a bullet in the sky!\r\n(both:) Flight Check! (Devo:) Maybe if you're lucky you won't die!\r\n(Ian:) And I think the guy sitting next to me is a spy\r\n(both:) Flight Check! (Devo:) Check out what you have to do to fly!\r\n(both:) Flight Check! (Ian:) Crammed into a bullet in the sky!\r\n(both:) Flight Check! (Devo:) Maybe if you're lucky you won't die!\r\n(Ian:) When you hear a loud bang you know that something's gone awry\r\n\r\n(verse 2)\r\nI wish I had a better way to travel 'round the Earth\r\ninstead of dealing with planes that's more trouble than they're worth\r\nI don't understand the plans of the airline industry\r\nthat has me flying to Orlando by way of Milwalkee\r\nthat's just fine if it's from the midwest to the shore\r\nbut it's not, i'm just travelin' from here in Baltimore!\r\nIt's on the same coast, that's the most opposite direction\r\nWhy should I cross the country to make my next connection?\r\nAnd speaking of connections, here's a great idea\r\nIf the planes having trouble, fix it before i get here\r\nDon't wait til the last second and cancel my next flight\r\nI leave for home on Saturday I'll get home next Friday night!\r\nThat is, of course, considering I don't cross time zones\r\nI'll be back before I've even had time to leave my home!\r\nIt's like I never left, oh that'd be just fine\r\n'cept i'll never get those hours back waiting in the line\r\nto check my bags, get my boarding pass only just to be\r\ntold it's thirty minutes to my flight and they can't seat me.\r\nSo i get on a flight thats straight from here to there\r\nThey don't tell me it's on stand by but what do they care?\r\nThey've got my luggage and and my money, who cares if i arrive\r\non time to my destination, or if i get there alive\r\nI wait for 10 hours at the airport, getting moody\r\nbut I can buy a pack of gum without paying any duty\r\n[chorus]\r\n(both:) Flight Check! (Devo:) Check out what you have to do to fly!\r\n(both:) Flight Check! (Ian:) Crammed into a bullet in the sky!\r\n(both:) Flight Check! (Devo:) Maybe if you're lucky you won't die!\r\n(Ian:) I got a layover in Hanover that's longer than pi\r\n(both:) Flight Check! (Devo:) Check out what you have to do to fly!\r\n(both:) Flight Check! (Ian:) Crammed into a bullet in the sky!\r\n(both:) Flight Check! (Devo:) Maybe if you're lucky you won't die!\r\n(Ian:) My honeymoon's in June, my flight's delayed until July!\r\n\r\n(bridge)\r\n(Chris M:) Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking. I'd like to welcome you aboard Aeronautic Inversion Airlines. Our flight today will be 3 hours and 17 minutes. We're currently 4th in line for take off so we should be in the air in about 5 hours or so. Once we're airborne I'd like to remind you that you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you when we land in lovely Fort Lauderdale Florida, where currently the weather is a balmy 82 degrees. You do NOT have the right to an attorney. If we don't like you you will be shipped off to a secret prison on the ass end of Kazakhstan, never to be heard from again. And I guarantee you THAT flight won't be as comfortable, although they do have the same drink specials. So sit back, relax, and try to enjoy your flight. Or else.\r\n\r\n(verse 3)\r\nRemember when flying didn't suck quite so bad?\r\nNeither do I, and that's that's the part that's making me mad\r\nAnd you know as we go forward things'll only get worse\r\nUnless GM invents a car that has a warp drive first\r\nRemember when we were all supposed to have jet packs?\r\nWell there was no where for our luggage, so they all got the axe.\r\nThe planes they build now can't fly themselves just yet\r\nIn a couple more years we'll have invented SkyNet\r\nA new coach will silence the most vocal complainer\r\nCryogenically frozen in a bomb proof container\r\nAnd if you happen to arrive at your port of call alive\r\nYou'll have to pay an extra thawing fee of $19.95.\r\nWe have to turn off iPods, games and cell phones\r\nAs if I could crash the plane with a certain ring tone\r\nBut then the stewardess crossed a line she never should have crossed\r\nShe made the guy next to me turn his pacemaker off\r\nI'm sick of being harassed by an undertrained staff\r\nI'm sick of two hour flights that take a day and a half\r\nI'm sick of tripling my costs because of all these hidden fees\r\nI'm sick of flights being delayed because some guy in line sneezed\r\nI'm sick of my luggage going to Hawaii all the time\r\nI'm sick of my bags getting a better vacation than mine!\r\nBut the thing I'm sick of most, and what really has me pissed\r\nThanks to this song I'm on the No Fly List\r\n(chorus)\r\n(both:) Flight Check! (Devo:) Check out what you have to do to fly!\r\n(both:) Flight Check! (Ian:) Crammed into a bullet in the sky!\r\n(both:) Flight Check! (Devo:) Maybe if you're lucky you won't die!\r\n(Ian:) I get nervous when I hear the pilot yelling \"Bonsai!\"\r\n(both:) Flight Check! (Devo:) Check out what you have to do to fly!\r\n(both:) Flight Check! (Ian:) Crammed into a bullet in the sky!\r\n(both:) Flight Check! (Devo:) Maybe if you're lucky you won't die!\r\n(Ian:) Put your head between your knees and kiss your ass goodbye\r\n(both:) Flight Check! ","private":"0","comments":"Flying sucks. In the past decade or so it has got measurably worse, and it doesn't appear like it will ever get any better. And yet if you have to travel any great distance there is no alternative that won't take you days or weeks. So we're basically stuck. The airlines know this and they treat their customers accordingly.\r\n\r\nLast summer I had a particularly horrible trip to California which I chronicled in great detail in my fan club's quarterly newsletter. Right around the same time Insane Ian also had an epically bad flight. With those two experiences still stewing in our minds we decided to get together and write a song about it.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2010-04-25","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"78\";i:1;s:3:\" 20\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"21","cover":"gnome-sane-cover.jpg","url":"gnome-sane"},{"id":"146","title":"I Hate Mondays","artist":"1","file":"I_Hate_Mondays.mp3","freemp3":"I_Hate_Mondays.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"52\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"I Love College by Asher Roth","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"53\";}","guests":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"52\";i:1;s:3:\" 53\";}","lyrics":"Ugh, I can't get up right now, man.\r\nI don't feel good.\r\nWho the hell decided\r\nthat morning needed to come so early?\r\n\r\n(chorus 1)\r\nThat party last night was awfully crazy\r\nI got so wasted\r\nNow I'm hung over and threw up so much\r\nI can still taste it\r\nI drink some coffee, pop some speed\r\nBut four days sleep is what I need\r\nPassed out at five, got class at eight\r\nSmash my alarm, I can not see straight\r\nMan I hate Mondays\r\n\r\n(verse 1)\r\nI only got college for another three weeks\r\nTrying to pass, I cheat off the geeks\r\nFor that to work I have to get to class\r\nWhich means, I really have to move my ass\r\nSo fill up my cup, coffee straight up\r\nI drive in a daze like huh, who, what?\r\nI make it to class but don't feel great\r\nA one hour class, I'm fifty minutes late\r\nGot a pop quiz, don't know what the topic is\r\nGonna have to take it, guess I'll just fake it\r\nSee the worried faces, all over the places\r\nPray to three gods just to cover all the bases\r\n\r\n(chorus 2)\r\nThat party rocked, for three days straight\r\nWe celebrated\r\nHell must've froze, I can't believe\r\nI graduated\r\nMy term paper wasn't great\r\nGPA was 1.8\r\nGot my degree, so I bid adieu\r\nBut now I'm late for an interview\r\n\r\n(bridge 1)\r\nMan I hate Mondays (HEY!)\r\nI hate mornings (HEY!)\r\nI hate showers (HEY!)\r\nMan I hate Mondays\r\n\r\n(verse 2)\r\nI can't tell you what I learned in school\r\nBut, it didn't prepare me to become a tool\r\nUm, there are things I never thought I'd do\r\nLike pay close attention to detail\r\nAnd I can't check personal email\r\nAnd logic is never gonna prevail\r\nOnly two people here are female\r\nAnd I think one might be a she-male\r\nAnd my paycheck, nowhere near what I thought\r\nNow I can't afford the TV I just bought\r\nOut of tequila, beer, wine, and rum too\r\nWatching The Bachelor, is this what it's come to?\r\n\r\n(chorus 3)\r\nThat office party was awfully lame\r\nI wish I skipped it\r\nBrown-nose the boss, so insincere\r\nIt sounded scripted\r\nI cut my hair and shave my beard\r\nAnd now it's me who thinks I look weird\r\nGo home at eight, in bed by ten\r\nJust watch the news, then do it again\r\n\r\n(bridge 2)\r\nMan I hate Mondays (HEY!)\r\nI hate Tuesdays (HEY!)\r\nI hate Wednesdays (HEY!)\r\nMan I miss college\r\n\r\n(interlude)\r\nNow, I'm gonna give you a taste, of what I go through on Monday mornings. A typical day goes something like this.\r\n*beep!* *beep!* *beep!* *beep!*\r\n*beep!* *beep!* *beep!* *beep!*\r\n(radio voice: Traffic on the 405 is at a total stand-still this morning as all lanes are closed in both directions due to an accident involving two tractor trailers, seven cars, an ice cream truck, and the Oscar Meyer Wiener Mobile. Traffic is being rerouted onto surface streets but they're moving about as fast as an old lady in the express lane paying with a check.)\r\nCoffee! Coffee!\r\nCoffee! Coffee!\r\nSittin' in traffic! Sittin' in traffic!\r\nSittin' in traffic! Sittin' in traffic!\r\nDammit, I'm late again. I hope my boss doesn't see... hey! Good morning, sir! No, I've been here for 20 minutes. I just had to go get something out of my car. Yes, with my briefcase. I don't go anywhere without it. No, not even the bathroom.\r\n\r\n(chorus 4)\r\nThat office meeting we had left me\r\nPermanently scarred\r\nPowerPoint slides with cheesy graphics\r\nAnd crappy clip art\r\nWas ill-prepared and underdressed\r\nAnd there weren't no donuts left\r\nProactive this, synergy that\r\nThen something 'bout wearin' different hats\r\n\r\n(outro)\r\nBut after a few days of that, it's the weekend.\r\nYou know what that means.\r\nIt means I get to cut the grass, clean out the gutters, and take the kids to soccer.\r\nDo I really have to make the bed? Why can't I just leave it like that? ","private":"0","comments":"I am aware of the irony of posting this song almost a year after ending Manic Mondays, but it can't be helped. If it makes you feel any better I originally conceived this song to be a replacement theme song for the podcast, but I guess that wasn't meant to be. This song is a parody of I Love College by Asher Roth.\r\n\r\nTha Professor did the beat and then we sent it to Steve Goodie who did the rest of the music, coached me on my singing, and added some background vocals. We also got background vocals from The Great Luke Ski and a traffic report from author Mur Lafferty.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2010-06-24","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"78\";i:1;s:3:\" 66\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"21","cover":"gnome-sane-cover.jpg","url":"gnome-sane"},{"id":"147","title":"PC Halloween","artist":"1","file":"PC_Halloween.mp3","freemp3":"PC_Halloween.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";i:1;s:3:\" 25\";}","guests":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";i:1;s:3:\" 25\";}","lyrics":"My home owner's association sent us a letter\r\nTo say they had a way of making Halloween better\r\nAnd safer and more fun for everyone involved\r\nAnd completely non-offensive, it makes sense, problem solved\r\nI didn't know there was a problem, but OK\r\nAnd this probably won't affect my plans in any way\r\nSo let's see what they say, I read a little more\r\nAnd saw my kids could only trick or treat from three o'clock to four\r\nDecoration limit, two pumpkins per yard\r\nAnd knives are dangerous, so they can't be carved\r\nAnd no devils, or anything satanic or morose\r\nAnd even nothing made of satin 'cause it sounds too close\r\nTo make sure nobody gets offended or upset\r\nWe've got some guidelines here for what costumes you can get\r\nNo witches, they promote witchcraft, as does\r\nHarry Potter, Bewitched, and The Wizard of Oz\r\nNo aliens, monsters, mutants, or cannibals\r\nAnd werewolves promote cruelty to animals\r\nVampires might make a kid too scared\r\nAnd zombies are offensive to the living impaired\r\nNo Freddy, no Jason, in fact they can't be\r\nCharacters from films they aren't old enough to see\r\nNo commercial characters like Spongebob or Superman\r\nAnd no ghosts, the sheets look too much like the Klan\r\nFigure skaters show way too much skin\r\nAnd Dora The Explorer's an illegal alien\r\nOK, so how about a duck?! Anyone have a problem\r\nWith my kid dressing up like a duck?! HUH?!\r\nWe can't give out candy 'cause it makes the kids fat\r\nJust stickers and fruit and maybe that granola crap\r\nI was stunned, is this really how they want it run?\r\nIt's politically correct and not a damn bit of fun\r\n\r\n[howl]... : I'm sorry we can't allow that sound effect \r\nbecause it's too scary and might be upsetting to \r\nsome of our younger listeners.\r\n[evil laugh]... : No, I'm sorry, the evil laughter \r\nperpetuates the stereotype of the mad scientist.\r\n[girl screams]... : Oh now that's just sexist! \r\nWhy does the victim always have to be female?\r\n\r\nSurprisingly with all the things it said we couldn't do\r\nThe letter didn't say a word about bags of flaming poo\r\nSo guess what I got planned, and I hope they understand\r\n'Cause I'm throwing my own party and it will get out of hand\r\nNo one will be allowed in, unless\r\nThey are wearing a costume guaranteed to offend\r\nMaybe something like a walking pair of breast implants\r\nOr a priest with an altar boy hanging from his pants\r\nPeople showed up and I was very impressed\r\nWith my guests and how they decided to dress\r\nThere's Jess, she came as a messed up slut\r\nAnd there's George Lucas with a light saber up his butt\r\nAnd there's the most evil creature they say\r\nA lawyer for the RIAA\r\nAnd I dressed up like the Honey Nut Cheerios Bee\r\nWhat? That little bugger scares the crap out of me\r\n\r\n[Frankenstein growl]... : Now do you really think \r\na reanimated corpse is suitable for children?\r\n[owl sound]... : OK, that's better, but can \r\nyou try something a little friendlier?\r\n[puppies yipping]... : Yeah, that's perfect! \r\nNow you've got it!\r\n\r\nShoebox: Did you guys see Devo Spice's party!?\r\nLuke: Yeah, it was awesome! I went as a sodomi...\r\nTom S: It was disgraceful, and completely against \r\nthe rules!\r\nLuke: Er, yeah, it was...(sheepishly) awful.\r\nShoebox: Next year we're gonna have to just ban \r\nHalloween for good and go right to Christma... er, \r\nChannuk... Kwan.. uh... you know, THAT time of year.\r\nTom S: That sounds like a good idea. But how do \r\nwe do it?\r\nShoebox: Simple. We allow the residents to hang \r\nup their Holiday decorations at the beginning \r\nof October.\r\n(Tom S and Luke agree)\r\nShoebox: OK, moving on. Unit number 47's front \r\ndoor is off-white, not white. This is against the rules. \r\nI vote we find them $500 per day until they get it \r\nreplaced. All in favor?\r\nLuke and Tom: Aye!\r\nShoebox: Great. Now, the tree in front of unit 23 \r\nstarted changing colors 4 days before the rest \r\nof the trees in the neighborhood. This flagrant \r\ndisregard for the rules can not go unpunished. I \r\nmove that we make them tear it down and replace \r\nit with another tree that is on the proper fall \r\nfoliage schedule. All in favor?\r\nLuke and Tom: Aye! ","private":"0","comments":"This song explores what happens when the PC notion goes way too far and threatens to undermine all the fun involved in Halloween.\r\n\r\nMusic by The Professor, of course, with special cameo appearances by Shoebox, Luke Ski, and Tom Smith.\r\n\r\nThis song was included on the Rhyme Torrents Halloween 3.0 internet compilation CD available at RhymeTorrents.org.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2008-10-23","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"78\";i:1;s:3:\" 48\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"21","cover":"gnome-sane-cover.jpg","url":"gnome-sane"},{"id":"148","title":"Nothin' But A Geek Thang","artist":"1","file":"Nothin_But_A_Geek_Thang.mp3","freemp3":"Nothin_But_A_Geek_Thang.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 34\";}","parodyof":"Nothin But A G-Thang by Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";}","lyrics":"0, 1, 10, 11\r\nDevo Spice and Worm Quartet have got a LARP to run\r\nReady to take a stand for the nerdcore scene\r\nAnd Dementia and whatever's in between\r\nGimme the gun so I can bust through this first person shooter\r\nPaid 500 bucks for my car and five grand for my computer\r\nAin't nothin' but a geek thang baby\r\nLike two Duke boys droolin' over Daisy\r\nSeein' films like Troll 2 doesn't faze me\r\n'Cause I mock 'em like on MST3K (hell yeah), and uh\r\nThanks for the invitation, man\r\nBut Friday night Doctor Who is on, I hope you understand\r\nFrom a young geek's perspective\r\nThat memorizing each episode is my prime directive\r\nAnd late at night my server has quite a load\r\nIt's downloading shows, and all the while I'm dreamin' in code\r\nI tell my friends of all I've seen and they get bitter\r\nBut we never talk in person, we communicate on Twitter\r\n(yeah) And then we argue over fake technology\r\nAnd pick apart the Star Wars chronology\r\n'Cause if it's good enough to cost a hundred million bucks\r\nMaybe they can find a script that won't really suck\r\nI liked this, I liked that, I liked this, and uh\r\nThat one sucked, that's OK, that was lame, and uh\r\nI liked that, but the sequel was dumb, and uh\r\nShoebox, wield the mic like a Jedi\r\nWell I'm hackin' and I'm crackin' and I'm frakkin'\r\nBut I've run out of chips, so there'll be no more snackin'\r\nNow it's time for me to go and restore my health\r\nSo I grab emergency Funions from my utility belt\r\nI never seen this particular bonus stuff\r\nIt's the super deluxe bonus extended director's cut\r\nIt's the same film that I've watched since I was eight\r\nWith twelve extra discs so I watched it for three days straight\r\nIt completes my collection and my protection\r\nMay be a bit much, you can look but don't touch\r\nIf you do, then this whole room\r\nWill set off more booby traps than the Temple Of Doom\r\nI like this, that, and this and uh\r\nSeason 1 was pretty good but now it's dumb and uh\r\nAnd what's this?\r\nNow who gives a crap about Lost?\r\nBut bow down before the new show from Joss\r\n\r\nBender is great\r\nM'hey, m'ah, m'GLAYVIN!\r\nBender is awesome\r\nsweeeeeet\r\n\r\nJust developed a class that will return a new Frontalot Prime\r\nInstalled Linux on my GPS so I could play Frogger real time\r\nBut the boson array was out of phase and draining the yield\r\nSo I'll reconfigure the cortical pulse to put out a graviton field\r\nSee nerdy girls and I'm under their spell\r\nChasin' the ones with blue skin like my name was Gargamel\r\nYeah, and it goes on, I think I'm\r\nIn the mood for another Stargate marathon\r\nSo Shoebox, what up Devo\r\nThese newbies think they an pwn us, no way G\r\nWe gotta teach 'em a lesson, hell yeah!\r\nAnd it's gonna be messy (triple shot bonus!)\r\nIs what I got now so those Galagas are eight-bit dust\r\nRunnin' emulation that I ported to my abacus\r\nWhen I go out the house I even mumble at the waitress\r\nBut when I'm online I can control it like the Matrix\r\nTry some IP spoofing try a D.O.S. attack\r\nMy proxy and my application gateway's got my back\r\nIf I sniff your packet then you know I'm gonna ping ya\r\nThen your protocol stack's goin' down like Jenga\r\nAnd I'ma continue to make a boatload writing source code\r\nBut Assembly's too simple, so now I write in Morse code\r\nYeah, powers like Q\r\nBut now I'm just wishin' real life had a search and undo\r\nSocial butterfly making friends like it's nothing\r\nAll you gotta do is click on the Accept Request button\r\nAnd if you dare to friend me\r\nI should warn you, like DOS I am not user friendly\r\nLike this, that, and this and uh\r\nI like that but that's enough I'm overloaded, uh\r\nIt's too much\r\nI think that my head might explode\r\nSo just TiVo the next episode ","private":"0","comments":"This is the song that almost wasn't. I've been trying to get this song recorded for almost two years now but there was always something holding it back. It seemed to be one thing after another. Spice Rack  subscribers know the details. I won't repeat them here.\r\n\r\nLadies and gentlemen, this is what I'm hoping will be my definitive geek anthem. This song is a parody of Nothin' But A G Thang by Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg celebrating all things geeky. The lyrics are by me, with a couple tweaks here and there by Shoebox. The music is by Tha Professor, with a couple tweaks here and there by Steve Goodie. Vocals by me and Shoebox of Worm Quartet, with a little cameo by The Great Luke Ski. And Mixing and mastering by the masterful and, er, mixful Steve Goodie.\r\n\r\nOK, back to trying to sell my house...","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2010-11-07","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"78\";i:1;s:3:\" 76\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"21","cover":"gnome-sane-cover.jpg","url":"gnome-sane"},{"id":"150","title":"Good Cop Bad Cop","artist":"1","file":"Good_Cop_Bad_Cop.mp3","freemp3":"Good_Cop_Bad_Cop.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 54\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 54\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"54\";}","lyrics":"Good Cop Bad Cop\r\nby Devo Spice featuring John Anealio\r\n\r\nsample: Scannerbuzz.wav by NoiseCollector; downloaded from http:\/\/www.freesound.org.\r\n\r\n[Intro]\r\n[sample Matt: \"I am the Angel of Death, Mur. \r\nThe time for purification is at hand.\"]\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\n[sample Mur: \"Good cop\"] I believe in you\r\n[sample Mur: \"Bad cop\"] You have nothing better to do?\r\n[sample Mur: \"Good cop\"] You are allowed to suck\r\n[sample Mur: \"Bad cop\"] Seriously, what the f---?!\r\n\r\n[verse 1]\r\nLife is a journey\r\nAnd you need to take it one step at a time, \r\nYeah that's fine if it","private":"0","comments":"Mur approached me a while ago about possibly working with John Anealio to come up with a theme song for her Good Cop Bad Cop segment on her I Should Be Writing Podcast.  Seemed like a good idea so we set to work on it.  John plays the good cop (Mur's role) and I play the bad cop (Matt Wallace's role).<br><br>\r\n\r\nI wrote the lyrics and the basic drum beat then sent it to John so he could write a guitar part and melody.  Once I got that back from him I added the bass line and recorded my vocals.  And presto, Mur has a theme song.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2010-12-27","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"152","title":"Earworm","artist":"1","file":"Earworm.mp3","freemp3":"Earworm.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 55\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 55\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"55\";}","lyrics":"<p>I get up Friday morning and I'm singing a song<br>\r\nBut realize to my surprise there's something seriously wrong<br>\r\n'Cause my brain does a loop when it gets to the end<br>\r\nI hear a verse, then a chorus, then it starts right up again<br>\r\nI sing it in the shower and then when I dry my hair<br>\r\nI look sexy when I sing it in my worn out underwear<br>\r\nThe song's still going strong as I'm putting on my new suit<br>\r\nAt breakfast when I sang I nearly choked on a Froot Loop<br>\r\nFinally it fades away as I prepare to leave<br>\r\nI breathe a sigh of relief, my brain is finally at ease<br>\r\nI get in my car, turn the key, and away we go<br>\r\nAnd guess what song is playing on the radio<br>\r\nI get to work and I see my buddy Craig<br>\r\nBut he backs away and looks at me as if I've got the plague<br>\r\n'Cause I'm singing out loud I'm the dancing queen<br>\r\nYoung and sweet, only seventeen<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus]<br>\r\nOompa loompa doopity doo (Make it stop!)<br>\r\nI'm going to do something awful to you (Make it stop!)<br>\r\nOompa loompa doopity dee (Dear God make it stop!)<br>\r\nBecause of what this song is doing to me<br>\r\nOompa loompa doopity doo (It's still going!)<br>\r\nThis song will never stop bothering you (Please help...)<br>\r\nOompa loompa doopity dee (I can't take it...)<br>\r\nYou'll be singing this for all eternity (Noo (cry))<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Don't get me wrong, yo, I love a catchy song<br>\r\nBut some tracks are real annoying when they make you sing along<br>\r\nMalicious song writers know it's mind control<br>\r\nSpending publishing advances while it's voodoo on your soul<br>\r\nMaybe Katy Perry's very scary there she goes again sincerely<br>\r\nMaking everybody wary of dark magic that she carries<br>\r\nThis teenage dream is in fact a teenage nightmare<br>\r\nBruno Mars singin' bars in your head for like nine years<br>\r\nUnless you hang a pentagram, sacrifice a Bieber fan<br>\r\nMajor labels doin' damage, save yourself and even then<br>\r\nEvery song you've ever loved, every ad you've ever heard<br>\r\nEarworm's all up in your brain, doing damage it's absurd<br>\r\nIndie bands too, these pop charts are no liars<br>\r\nIt's a vampire weekend, the arcade is on fire<br>\r\nDemonic pentatonic I'm on it I want it out<br>\r\nCalculated melodies, something I can do without<br>\r\nDevo Spice and MC Lars, we so nice we underground<br>\r\nWorkin' on a clever sound, better rhymes are never found<br>\r\nI said it before and I'll say it again<br>\r\nThe mainstream is wack, thank God he and I are friends, like<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Will someone please explain why my brain tends to crash<br>\r\nAnd repeat the same refrain like a record with a scratch<br>\r\nThankfully it's just me who gets to hear the song's persistence<br>\r\nOtherwise ASCAP would likely sue me out of existence<br>\r\nIt's called an earworm when the song goes on and on<br>\r\nBecause it burrows into your brain like the Wrath Of Kahn<br>\r\nEven songs that you enjoy become annoying over time<br>\r\nI've even started to hate a few songs of mine!<br>\r\nLars: \"Yeah, me too.\" Devo: \"What?\" Lars: \"Never mind, dude.\" Anyway<br>\r\nI'm still hummin' that same dumb song from yesterday<br>\r\nI wanna cry, will someone please explain to me why<br>\r\nI'm singing Jingle Bell Rock through the middle of July<br>\r\nSo now I'm getting desperate, this is driving me insane<br>\r\nIt's like the song is trying to burrow a hole into my brain<br>\r\nI've got to get it out before my cerebellum warps<br>\r\nSo now my only recourse is Cannibal Corpse<br>\r\nKill the freakin' Oompa Loompas, DIE!...(blend to)<br>\r\nAhh, that's better. <\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>You're familiar with those songs that get stuck in your head.  You probably have some annoying tune running through your head right now.  Well, this is a song about that, and hopefully it won't do too much damage to your cerebellum in the process.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>This song features a guest appearance by MC Lars.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2011-03-22","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"78\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"21","cover":"gnome-sane-cover.jpg","url":"gnome-sane"},{"id":"151","title":"Enhanced","artist":"1","file":"Enhanced.mp3","freemp3":"Enhanced.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 52\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"Fancy by Drake","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"42\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"42\";}","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"It's should come as no surprise that I'm not a fan of plastic surgery, or \"cosmetic surgery,\" or even \"aesthetic surgery\" as I saw it referred to recently. I understand why people do it. Nobody wants to get old. But unless your doctor is a genius it's not going to look right. Sure, it may look OK on screen after a professional make-up artist is done and the person is lit properly, but sooner or later the cameras go off and real life sets in. I've seen many stars up close, in person, at conventions who have had plastic surgery and they just never look good.\r\n\r\nThen there are the people who just go crazy with huge breast or butt implants and enormous lips. This song is about all of the above. It's a parody of Fancy by Drake. Music by me with some help from Steve Goodie. Background vocals by Carrie Dahlby, and we were able to recreate the sample used in this song thanks to some amazing singing by Chris Mezzolesta of Power Salad.\r\n\r\nIf you'd like to hear some behind the scenes commentary on this song be sure to listen to today's episode of The Insider. I'm podcasting my new album Gnome Sane one song at a time so you can hear the entire thing before you buy it. Use that link to subscribe.\r\n\r\nAnd don't forget, buy my album on April 1st from iTunes and I will send you the physical CD and the exclusive bonus CD for free. All the details are at DevoSpice.com.\r\n\r\nAnd for the record I have nothing against corrective or reconstructive surgeries. I'm all for that. But adding a third breast, as one woman actually did (you can Google it yourself), is insane.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2011-02-24","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"78\";i:1;s:3:\" 77\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"21","cover":"gnome-sane-cover.jpg","url":"gnome-sane"},{"id":"153","title":"The Dumbest Song On Rock Band","artist":"1","file":"The_Dumbest_Song_On_Rock_Band.mp3","freemp3":"The_Dumbest_Song_On_Rock_Band.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"41\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"41\";}","lyrics":"I think I'm going to regret downloading this track\r\nThere's ninety-nine cents that I won't ever get back\r\nBut I paid for it anyway now people give me room\r\n'Cause I'm dancin' like a pansy in my fancy living room\r\nI went ahead and did it so at this point I'm committed\r\nI don't get it, I could quit it, here's a sweater that I knitted\r\nDid it really just throw in any rhyme if it could fit it?\r\nI wonder if there's any that this idiot omitted\r\nAcquitted, skidded, yeah I guess there are a few\r\nAnd here's a beat box solo, what am I supposed to do?\r\n[beat boxing gives way to scratching of the word \"Bass!\"]\r\nGreat, now I got spit all over the place\r\nI'm glad that it's a rap song 'cause I can't sing\r\nI could burp or go blah-waih or really anything\r\nAnd it'll work as prance like a jerk and look dumb\r\nAnd here comes the Cookie Monster going om-nom-nom!\r\n\r\n(chorus)\r\nI can't believe I paid for this\r\nSongs this dumb shouldn't exist\r\nIt hurts my brain, do you understand\r\nThis is the dumbest song on Rock Band\r\n\r\n(music break with sound effects)\r\n\r\n(verse 2)\r\nTweedle deedle diddle doodle feeble battle poodle\r\nNoodle fiddle in the middle of a hot toaster strudel\r\nPop Rocks and Alka Seltzer fill me full of joy\r\nZiggy socky ziggy socky, oy, oy, oy!\r\nNow this is just getting bizarre\r\nI think the next time I play this song I'm using the guitar\r\nThen again the guitar doesn't have it any better\r\nBut at least the group is all in this together\r\nNow all the music cut out and I'm standing by myself\r\nLookin' like an idiot in front of everybody else\r\nThey're just twiddling their thumbs 'cause they got nothing else to do\r\nA dum, deedle dee, dum dee dum, doo dee doo dee doo\r\nI'll keep going 'cause it beats playing darts\r\nBut how are we supposed to play harmonica parts?\r\nI guess I'll just do the best I can and move on\r\nAnd by the way, guy on bass, I ponied your mom\r\n\r\n(chorus)\r\nI can't believe I paid for this\r\nSongs this dumb shouldn't exist\r\nIt hurts my brain, do you understand\r\nThis is the dumbest song on Rock Band\r\n\r\n(chorus 2)\r\nThe dumbest song, dumbest song\r\nAnd it's goin' on way too long\r\nI can tell you this first hand\r\nThis is the dumbest song on Rock Band\r\n\r\n(music break with scratching)\r\n\r\nI like to put on dresses and pretend my name is Trina\r\nEveryone!  Look at me!  I'm a pretty ballerina!\r\nWhen in bed I do a war cry like an Indian Chief\r\nMussaw me ah erf ska pea lame ahm a leef (phonetically backwards: ","private":"0","comments":"This song was inspired by playing So Whuthcu Want by The Beastie Boys on Rock Band which has the dumbest, most boring bass part of any song on Rock band.  It's one note played over and over throughout the song.  I wanted to see if I could write a song that was dumber than that.  I think I succeeded.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2011-03-22","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"78\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"21","cover":"gnome-sane-cover.jpg","url":"gnome-sane"},{"id":"154","title":"Written On Twitter","artist":"1","file":"Written_On_Twitter.mp3","freemp3":"Written_On_Twitter.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"78\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"21","cover":"gnome-sane-cover.jpg","url":"gnome-sane"},{"id":"155","title":"Nerds Rule","artist":"1","file":"Nerds_Rule.mp3","freemp3":"Nerds_Rule.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 56\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 56\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"56\";}","lyrics":"<p>It's a brand new age so take a page from my play book<br>\r\nUp up down down, yeah you know the way, look<br>\r\nNerdcore is rockin' once more, taking over<br>\r\nSee the score, evermore we're near and far like Grover (faaar!)<br>\r\nSmart kids were picked on and ridiculed at school<br>\r\nBecause they thought we weren't cool, well guess what, now we rule<br>\r\nWith the internet I'm at my nerdy best and I just might<br>\r\nMake a fortune overnight just by launching a new site (site)<br>\r\nAll the pioneers over the years were freaks, geeks, and nerds<br>\r\nWho made it possible for all you people to play Angry Birds<br>\r\nWithout them I bet there'd be no internet or video games<br>\r\nCell phones or internet porn, and that'd be really lame (yeah)<br>\r\nWe're game changers, to you we may be strange or<br>\r\nWonder why do we like girls dressed like Hermione Granger<br>\r\nShe's beautiful, intelligent, and makes us turn the page<br>\r\nAnd besides, now she's of legal age, so suck it, muggle!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>They said I would never be cool if I did<br>\r\nThis digital nerd rappin' shit<br>\r\nnow everyone bites off the kid<br>\r\nI'll live forever<br>\r\nMe and Devo tucked in seats of leather<br>\r\nStarted out much like any MC with dreams<br>\r\nThis rap game invaded all your bit streams<br>\r\nThought I could steam roll, everybody in-a likin' me (?)<br>\r\nNow I'm grippin' mics in spite of thee<br>\r\nStill tryin' to be a voice of a generation lost<br>\r\nHit the noss(?), beat the final boss, and get tossed<br>\r\nI'm still the man till they replace me<br>\r\nBoy that makes me think, do I got enough things to say?<br>\r\nI just may, break bread the simple way<br>\r\nMy own parody, apparently makin' my fun<br>\r\nHittin' every duck with the butt of my light gun<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>The world's a strange place, changin' face at a spinning pace<br>\r\nNow Apple's a monopoly and Microsoft is giving chase<br>\r\nToday it's Revenge Of The Nerds although I gotta say<br>\r\nIt's not in a creepy hidden camera plan kinda way<br>\r\n'Cause I respect a woman's intellect and watch them lead the way<br>\r\nVictoria Bellmont, Dr. Kiki, and Felicia Day<br>\r\nNothing is sexier than an intelligent woman<br>\r\nOK, maybe a naked intelligent woman (mm, yeah)<br>\r\nYou may find it odd that I write songs about cons<br>\r\nBut to a nerdy girl it's a turn on, so bring it on<br>\r\nAnd when I hit upon a topic and I rock it how I planned<br>\r\nI have the public eating out of my hands, understand? (man?)<br>\r\nWhile you're tagging pictures of yourself from your vacation<br>\r\nNerds are doing experiments in teleportation<br>\r\nOr working on the space station, with the knowledge they possess<br>\r\nThey're doing things to make your boring life suck a little less<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>This is a song I did with YTCracker about <strike>thug<\/strike> nerd life.  All the music was created using sampled sound effects from the Atari 2600 and Nintendo Entertainment System.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"78\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"21","cover":"gnome-sane-cover.jpg","url":"gnome-sane"},{"id":"157","title":"Not Amused","artist":"1","file":"Not_Amused.mp3","freemp3":"Not_Amused.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"57\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 41\";}","parodyof":"Not Afraid by Eminem","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"41\";}","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"Ever have one of those days where nothing goes right?  And then things get worse?  And just when you think nothing worse could possibly happen it does?  Yeah.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2011-03-18","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"78\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"21","cover":"gnome-sane-cover.jpg","url":"gnome-sane"},{"id":"158","title":"Weird Al Didn't Write This Song","artist":"1","file":"Weird_Al_Didnt_Write_This_Song.mp3","freemp3":"Weird_Al_Didnt_Write_This_Song.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 58\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:4:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 58\";i:2;s:3:\" 25\";i:3;s:3:\" 34\";}","guests":"a:3:{i:0;s:2:\"58\";i:1;s:3:\" 25\";i:2;s:3:\" 34\";}","lyrics":"[verse 1]\r\nI","private":"0","comments":"This song was recorded for the upcoming Weird Al tribute album <i>Twenty-Six And A Half<\/i>.  In it I was able to work out a lot of my frustrations from being a life-long fan of Weird Al and having to deal with the stupidity of the general public.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2011-02-01","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"78\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"21","cover":"gnome-sane-cover.jpg","url":"gnome-sane"},{"id":"159","title":"How To Sing","artist":"1","file":"How_To_Sing.mp3","freemp3":"How_To_Sing.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 52\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"How To Love by Lil Wayne","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"52\";}","lyrics":"Ah cut the music up<br>\r\nA lil' louder<br>\r\nReally?  That","private":"0","comments":"Lil Wayne's new album The Carter IV contains lots of profanity-laden, mumbled rap songs over annoying beats and, inexplicably, one pseudo R and B tune where he attempts to sing. The album has been a huge success and that song, How To Love, is a big hit.<br><br>\r\n\r\nIt occurred to me when I heard that song for the first time that nobody ever taught him how to sing. And thus a parody was born.<br><br>\r\n\r\nWARNING: Devo sings throughout this song! Listener discretion advised.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2011-10-23","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"160","title":"I Am The Doctor","artist":"1","file":"I_Am_The_Doctor.mp3","freemp3":"I_Am_The_Doctor.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";i:1;s:3:\" 41\";}","guests":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";i:1;s:3:\" 41\";}","lyrics":"<p>Hello<br>\r\nI'm The Doctor (Doctor who?) just The Doctor<br>\r\nAnd this is my crew, how d'you do? I'm just a<br>\r\nMad man with a box, a big blue box, foxy<br>\r\nAnd sexy, if you only knew, yes it's<br>\r\nBigger on the inside, ask Captain Jack<br>\r\nIt's a great ride back and it's mine, I reside in<br>\r\nThe TARDIS, home is where the heart is, and like<br>\r\nLisa Simpson I can see through time, I have been<br>\r\nTo the end of the universe and back again <br>\r\nThen reverse course and we arrive, back where<br>\r\nWe started in the TARDIS 'cause when people come with me<br>\r\nI really like to try to bring 'em back alive, so if you wanna<br>\r\nCome, get your things, I'll take you where the sky sings<br>\r\nTell your Mum that you'll ring her on the cell, oh the things<br>\r\nI can show you as I get to know you but don't<br>\r\nWait for me 'cause that never ends well<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus]<br>\r\nI am The Doctor<br>\r\nNa na na, na na na na na na <br>\r\nNa na na, na na na na na na (2 times)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Now answer me<br>\r\nThis, are you my Mummy, no course you're not<br>\r\nBut what's that spot on your hands, and yes<br>\r\nI always talk this fast all my chatter doesn't matter<br>\r\nI'm the only one who really understands, you see<br>\r\nI've got a big head a very big head a very large<br>\r\nHead with a very big brain, and if you look<br>\r\nDeep into my eyes they're very old eyes you might<br>\r\nEven see some little guys at the reign, that's what I <br>\r\nDo to survive on the day that I died <br>\r\n'cause it's what is inside that counts, oh and if you <br>\r\nMissed it at one point I never existed<br>\r\nAnd still made the wedding unannounced, I've stopped<br>\r\nAliens and demons and the end of everything<br>\r\nAnd it barely even shook me up, so if you think of<br>\r\nCrossing me, your loss it will be<br>\r\nI'm the Doctor, look me up!<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Oh the things I've seen<br>\r\nWould make your skin turn green<br>\r\nLike a Silurian<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I've seen angels move and if you think<br>\r\nYou've seen one don't look away or even blink<br>\r\nI've seen a dalek sunbathe and let loose<br>\r\nI've seen a crack scarier than any plumber could produce<br>\r\nI've seen vampires that were actually scary<br>\r\nAnd no they didn't sparkle like a dancing fairy<br>\r\nI've seen cat people and sentient trees<br>\r\nAnd I've seen the Silence, but, oh jeez...<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I forgot What were we talking about?<br>\r\nOh right, me<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I wear a bow tie now, bow ties are cool<br>\r\nBut oh my, whatever happened to my fez, I know I tend to<br>\r\nDive right inside the hive but if you want to make it out<br>\r\nAlive then you'll do what the Doctor says, but why is<br>\r\nEveryone still going on about my name, when they should<br>\r\nBe more concerned about the people made of plastic, after all<br>\r\nA Rose by any other name would still be<br>\r\nThe Bad Wolf, and still be fantastic, that's what<br>\r\nMy life is like with Cybermen and Sontarans<br>\r\nThe Ood and the Headless Monks, sure there's<br>\r\nDanger and strife but it's a marvelous life<br>\r\nAnd you can ride along beside me if you want, so tell me now<br>\r\nWhere you wanna go from here, how 'bout a lovely little<br>\r\nPlanet where we won't get injured, I had a<br>\r\nThought I think they ought to let Devo Spice play<br>\r\nThe Doctor, so I could be a ginger<br>\r\n(I've always wanted to be a ginger)<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"I've been a Doctor Who fan since I was about 10. I love the classic series and I love the new series. I have my favorite Doctors and monsters and companions and I've met many of them at various conventions. And here, for you other Doctor Who fans who may have wandered in here, is a song about the new series. I kept it mostly focussed on Matt Smith's run as The Doctor since he's the current one, but there are a few references to Christopher Eccleston and David Tennant's episodes.<br><br>\r\n\r\n\r\nBackground singing by Chris Mezzolesta of Power Salad and Shoebox of Worm Quartet. The part of British Woman was played by Kim Crist.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2011-12-17","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:3:\"124\";}","listen":"1","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"doctor.jpg","albumId":"26","cover":"i-am-the-doctor-cover.jpg","url":"i-am-the-doctor"},{"id":"161","title":"Friday (the 13th)","artist":"1","file":"Friday_(the_13th).mp3","freemp3":"Friday_(the_13th).mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"59\";}","parodyof":"Friday by Rebecca Black","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"59\";}","lyrics":"Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah\r\nYeah, yeah \r\nYeah-ah-ah\r\nYeah-ah-ah\r\nYeah-ah-ah\r\nYeah-ah-ah\r\nYeah, yeah, yeah\r\n\r\n7am wakin' up in the morning\r\nGotta get packed, gotta catch the bus\r\nHeading off to camp like I do every year \r\nCamp Crystal Lake so pretty in summer\r\nDrivin' on and on, seems to take forever\r\nGotta pee please make the bus stop\r\nGettin' off the bus, I see my friends\r\n\r\nDrinkin' in the front room\r\nSmokin' in the back room\r\nThen I see this big guy\r\nIn a hockey mask\r\n\r\nIt's Friday, Friday\r\nGonna get killed on Friday\r\nEverybody's gettin","private":"0","comments":"Well, it's Friday the 13th! You know what that means! Yes, it's time for another undead hockey player's killing spree! I love the Friday the 13th movies. All of them. Well, except Jason Goes To Hell. That one was dumb. And that's saying something after the previous 8 movies.\r\n\r\nThis song is a parody of \"Friday\" by Rebecca Black. I'm sorry. I'm so very very sorry. But I had this idea and it just wouldn't go away. For this song I enlisted the help of ShiSho, the young band from Ohio you may have seen perform at Con On The Cob for the past couple years. Plus about half of the screams you hear were submitted my fans.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2012-01-12","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"22","cover":"herp-derp-cover.jpg","url":"herp-derp-ya-dont-sterp"},{"id":"162","title":"Devo, Are You Shoebox?","artist":"1","file":"Devo_Are_You_Shoebox.mp3","freemp3":"Devo_Are_You_Shoebox.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 34\";}","musiccredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 34\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 34\";}","parodyof":"Kyle, Are You Ian? by Scooter Picnic","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";}","lyrics":"Devo, Are You Shoebox?\r\nby Devo Spice, featuring Worm Quartet\r\n\r\n(verse 1)\r\nSHOEBOX:\r\nFolks often know me only as Shoebox\r\nMy one man band can rock off your crew socks\r\nIt","private":"0","comments":"So there I was working on my Plan B song because my Plan A song had to be put on hold when along came Shoebox who said \"You know what would be funny? If we did a parody of 'Kyle, Are You Ian?' about how our lives are pretty similar.\" My reaction was pretty much to drop everything and work on it. So I guess this was Plan C.\r\n\r\nWhile this isn't the first FuMP song to parody another FuMP song it is definitely the first FuMP song to parody another FuMP song that was still on the home page. It's also the first time an artist is mentioned by name on the FuMP in two consecutive tracks. And thus concludes your FuMP history lesson for the day.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2012-04-11","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"22","cover":"herp-derp-cover.jpg","url":"herp-derp-ya-dont-sterp"},{"id":"163","title":"All In My Tights","artist":"1","file":"All_In_My_Tights.mp3","freemp3":"All_In_My_Tights.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"57\";}","vocalscredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 41\";i:2;s:3:\" 42\";}","parodyof":"All of the Lights by Kanye West","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"41\";i:1;s:3:\" 42\";}","lyrics":"All in my tights (all in my tights)\r\n(tights, tights)\r\nAll in my tights (all in my tights)\r\n\r\nPut on these tights right here baby\r\nExtra snug so we see that you?re buff\r\nPut on these tights right here baby\r\nDon?t have any shame\r\nWe want to see everything\r\nThat you can do all in your tights\r\n\r\nNow I?m\r\nFightin? crime\r\n(all in my tights, all in my tights)\r\nIt?s like I?m naked running through the street\r\n(all in my tights, all in my tights)\r\n\r\nIf you want to you can wear ?em for the rest of your life\r\nAt some point you have to wash ?em so they don?t smell too ripe\r\n\r\nSomething wrong, I don?t know why\r\nI?m not that strong, and I can?t fly\r\nBut if I flex, like I am built\r\nMy nipples aim, and shoot out milk\r\nI?m on my own, confused and scared\r\nI?m heading home, to my secret lair\r\nTo my surprise, a bald guy is recruiting me\r\nGave me a costume from the X-Men University\r\n\r\nAll in my tights\r\nRed tights, black tights, blue tights\r\nWhite tights, green tights\r\n(all in my tights, all in my tights)\r\nBat tights, Flash tights, Super tights\r\nSpider tights, Wonder tights\r\n(all in my tights)\r\n\r\nPut on these tights right here baby\r\nSuper heroes all have to wear this\r\nPut on these tights right here baby\r\nNo I don?t know why, it?s just the way that it is\r\nYou have to do things in your tights\r\n\r\nI need a title, to fit the game plan\r\nNo ?Super,? ?Ultra,? ?Nifty,? nothin?, I?m the Milk Man\r\nAnd I?m dressed like a cow, it?s damn demeaning\r\nBut that ain?t as bad as, my bill for dry cleaning\r\nMy feet are tender, so I wear Crocs\r\nWant to impress, I stuff with socks\r\nMy secret lair, is in my Mom?s garage\r\nI?m painting decals on her 1987 dodge\r\n\r\nAll in my tights\r\nOrange tights, yellow tights, purple tights\r\nBrown tights, sheer tights \r\n(all in my tights, all in my tights)\r\nCat tights, Green tights, Iron tights\r\nCoon tights, Kick-Ass tights \r\n(all in my tights)\r\n\r\nPut on these tights right here baby\r\nExtra tight so you show off your buldge\r\nPut on these tights right here baby\r\nNo on second thought, why don?t you just wear a cloak\r\nDon?t want to see you in your tights\r\n\r\nOh myyyyyy, oh nooo, I didn?t need to see that...\r\nOh God! Noooo, just... just... just go away please","private":"0","comments":"There is one thing that every good super hero needs. It's not the ability to fly, or x-ray vision, or super speed, or a secret identity. It's a garish, form fitting, brightly colored costume that makes him look ridiculous and is completely impractical for fighting crime. You may think Batman looks cool, but the fact that he can't turn his head would make it difficult for him to cross a road, let alone win a fight.\r\n\r\nThis is a song about the various costumes that super heroes wear, and what happens when one unlucky individual discovers his \"power.\"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2012-06-14","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"22","cover":"herp-derp-cover.jpg","url":"herp-derp-ya-dont-sterp"},{"id":"164","title":"In The 80s","artist":"1","file":"In_The_80s.mp3","freemp3":"In_The_80s.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"60\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"41\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"41\";}","lyrics":"<p>(intro)<br>\r\nWhat's with kids today?  With the hair in the faces <br>\r\nand the dub.. step... is that even music?<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(verse 1)<br>\r\nI never thought I'd see the day when I would say that things today<br>\r\nAre crappy and that things were best when I was your age<br>\r\nYet here we are, movies suck, TV sucks, I hate 'em, oh<br>\r\nAnd please don't get me started on the crap that's on the radio<br>\r\n  There was no autotune, rappers had skill<br>\r\nNo tricks in eighty-six it's time to build<br>\r\nMr. Magic's Rap Attack would pack in all my favorite songs<br>\r\nNow the dial is nothing but Delilah all night long<br>\r\nL.L. Cool J was hard as Hell<br>\r\nAnd Ice Cube had a bad attitude as well<br>\r\nNow he's making family comedies that feature farts<br>\r\nAnd these rappers who can't rap are crappin' all over the charts<br>\r\n  You used to see me watching MTV<br>\r\n'Cause back then they showed things I actually wanted to see<br>\r\nYou know, like music videos, and shows like Yo!<br>\r\nMTV Raps, instead of all this reality crap<br>\r\nIt makes me wanna cry, is it any wonder why<br>\r\nThat I would wanna go back in time like Marty McFly<br>\r\nAnd dial 867-5309<br>\r\nTo call up Jenny and I'll make her mine<br>\r\n(chorus 1)<br>\r\nIn the 80s<br>\r\nTalkin' 'bout days gone by<br>\r\nIn the 80s<br>\r\nWhen a woman's hair was high<br>\r\nIn the 80s<br>\r\nIn the 80s<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(short music break, 4 bars or so)<br>\r\nWhat happened to good reality TV like Unsolved Mysteries?  <br>\r\nWhy would anyone want to watch a bunch of people <br>\r\nthey hate make lots of money?<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(verse 2)<br>\r\nThis may be crazy but I always thought my car would be KITT<br>\r\nOr possibly the General Lee with Daisy in the back of it<br>\r\nBut that just wasn't meant to be so now I guess you'll see<br>\r\nThe stick figure decals on my SUV<br>\r\nNow that I got kids you know what really makes me sore?<br>\r\nThere's nothing good on Saturday mornin' anymore<br>\r\nNo Superfriends, Scooby-Doo, Smurfs, or Bugs Bunny<br>\r\n'CBS In the Morning,' that supposed to be funny?<br>\r\nBut back then as Ash said everything was groovy<br>\r\nBack when there were only three Star Wars movies<br>\r\nBack before attacks upon the Holy Trilogy<br>\r\nWhen a computer vomited all over everything we see<br>\r\nI liked Freddy Krueger, man, he gave me the creeps<br>\r\nI had computers with a green screen and only one beep<br>\r\nI'd see a kid on a bike and like everyone hollars<br>\r\nAll together now 'I want my two dollars!'<br>\r\nTime goes on and now those things are all gone<br>\r\nNow I'm yellin', tellin' kids to get the Hell off my lawn<br>\r\nAnd yet despite all this time one thing I still can't do<br>\r\nIs solve the damn Rubik's Cube<br>\r\n(chorus 2)<br>\r\nIn the 80s<br>\r\nYeah I wanna go back<br>\r\nIn the 80s<br>\r\nUsing words like 'fresh' and 'wack'<br>\r\nIn the 80s<br>\r\nIn the 80s<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(short musical break, probably 4 bars)<br>\r\nI never could figure this thing out.  Ugh, how do I get this green square over to the... <br>\r\nwait, where did this purple square come from?<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(verse 3\/bridge)<br>\r\nNo Facebook or 'likes,' no, we played outside<br>\r\nWith no helmets on our bikes when we took 'em for a ride<br>\r\nNo pictures of girls that are ostrich-styled<br>\r\nYes our girls were wild, but they actually smiled<br>\r\n  No iTunes, no, we went to the store<br>\r\nAnd used to bore through the huge pile of vinyl on the floor<br>\r\nNo MP3, OMG, or LOL<br>\r\nI'm not kiddin', no we didn't have the internet at all<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(spoken:) Wait a minute.  No internet?  NO INTERNET?!  How the hell did we survive?<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(verse 4)<br>\r\n  Now that you mention it, I kinda like it here<br>\r\nWith three thousand TV channels and the picture is clear<br>\r\nPlus Netflix and Hulu, movies on demand<br>\r\nMore bad sci-fi than any man can stand<br>\r\n  Now all my friends are at the end of my mouse<br>\r\nI talk to hundreds at a time and never have to leave my house<br>\r\nI got a business that I run in my underwear from here<br>\r\nOn this cushion in my couch that's molded right to my rear<br>\r\nI used to be afraid that Russia'd blow us off the map<br>\r\nNow I shoot birds at pigs with an app while I crap<br>\r\nI got real time feeds for celebrity scandals<br>\r\nAnd all the free porn my bandwidth can handle<br>\r\nYeah, music sucks today, but oh man<br>\r\nWe had Tiffany, Debbie Gibson, and WHAM!<br>\r\nPlus the New Kids On The Block, Poison, Warrant, A-Ha<br>\r\nAnd even Milli Vanilli, really, need I go on?<br>\r\nVideo games in my time were just fine<br>\r\nBut I like how now a gun is drawn with more than just a line<br>\r\nAnd I can play 'em with my kids, two boys and a girl<br>\r\nYou know I wouldn't give that up for the world<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(chorus 3)<br>\r\nIn the 80s<br>\r\nBack when SNL was good<br>\r\nIn the 80s<br>\r\nPretendin' I was with the Boyz N da Hood<br>\r\nIn the 80s<br>\r\nIn the 80s<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(chorus 4)<br>\r\nIn the 80s<br>\r\nI wore clothes with a neon motif<br>\r\nIn the 80s<br>\r\nAnd I'm still askin' 'Where's the beef?'<br>\r\nIn the 80s<br>\r\nIn the 80s<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(fade out)<br>\r\nOK, now where was I?  Oh, right.  Catsthatlooklikehitler.com  <br>\r\nDefinitely didn't have this in the 80s.<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"Every generation complains about the one that follows. They lament how things were better back in \"their day\", be it the 1930s, 1950s, or in my case, the 1980s. The 80s were my time, to quote The Goonies. Back when women had huge hair and wore ankle socks, which, for the record, I still find sexy. So now it's my turn to complain about how much better things were back then. Except I'm not sure I really believe it.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2012-08-19","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:3:\"141\";}","listen":"1","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"in-the-80s.jpg","albumId":"22","cover":"herp-derp-cover.jpg","url":"herp-derp-ya-dont-sterp"},{"id":"165","title":"CUPCAKES!","artist":"1","file":"CUPCAKES!.mp3","freemp3":"CUPCAKES!.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"chorus: \r\nCupcakes! \r\nCupcakes! \r\nOh my God! Mom\ufffds makin\ufffd cupcakes! (repeat) \r\n\r\nI had a crappy day at school but that really doesn\ufffdt matter \r\n\ufffdcause my happy face appeared when I saw Mommy making batter \r\nAnd those little round tins that you put the batter in \r\nGuess I\ufffdm getting a bit fatter before the day ends \r\nThere\ufffds a batch in the oven and I\ufffdm lovin\ufffd the smell \r\nAlthough it\ufffds making me drool (slurp\/swallow) and I can tell \r\nThat this sight is gonna make the night quite alright \r\nI think I\ufffdm gettin\ufffd a sugar high and I haven\ufffdt even had a bite \r\nHey Mom, need any help? I\ufffdll get a stool \r\nI know the rule, no touching, but I can blow \ufffdem till they\ufffdre cool \r\nAnd I\ufffdll sing a song like people down in Dixie sing \r\nIf you let me lick the batter off that mixy thing \r\nMan, I can\ufffdt wait, only a kid understands \r\nThere\ufffds nothing better than a cake that you can eat with your hands \r\nWith candy and little sprinkles that fall all over the place \r\nAnd ending up with gobs of frosting smeared all over your face \r\nWe\ufffdll give some to the neighbor and we\ufffdll save a few for later \r\nBut I\ufffdm lickin\ufffd every crumb off of that little piece of paper \r\nI\ufffdd really be surprised if they last another day \r\n\ufffdCause I\ufffdll eat 30 or 40 if she looks the other way \r\nHey, what\ufffds the occasion anyway? \r\nI mean my birthday\ufffds in May, it\ufffds still a few months away \r\nThen my Mom dropped the bomb that she made so many \r\nFor a PTA meeting and I can\ufffdt have any \r\n\ufffd I felt betrayed, all I could say was what? \r\nThat\ufffds nuts, I felt like my mother punched me in the gut \r\nBut then she turned with a smile to a pile on the side \r\nAnd said she made a couple extras, so open wide (take bite) \r\n[chorus - twice, with mouth full]","private":"0","comments":"I asked my fans to suggest ridiculous song topics. Carrie Dahlby said \"CUPCAKES!\" So I did.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2012-10-29","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"22","cover":"herp-derp-cover.jpg","url":"herp-derp-ya-dont-sterp"},{"id":"166","title":"South Park Junkie (2012)","artist":"1","file":"South_Park_Junkie_2012.mp3","freemp3":"South_Park_Junkie_2012.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"South Bronx by Boogie Down Productions","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"31\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"31\";}","lyrics":"Many people tell me this show is pathetic\r\nBut when it comes on I shake like a diabetic\r\nTV tunes in and my brain tunes out\r\nAnd it takes another week for me to fully calm down\r\nHave a seat, unplug the phone\r\nCome on now here we go\r\nYou got smacked upside your head\r\n'Cause you're talkin' during the show\r\nI stay glued to my TV\r\nTill my brain is a sieve\r\nIf you bother me while this shows on\r\nYou might not live, I'm watchin'\r\n\r\nSouth Park! South South Park! (4 times)\r\n\r\nI wanna be a character in that little town\r\nWith cut paper clothing and a face that's round\r\nAnd an ability that's cool, yes they all can\r\nWithout the use of their arms still move their hands\r\nI'll bet you half a penny that they're gonna kill Kenny\r\nThe hats and ear muffs that they wear are so trendy\r\nThey're so friendly\r\nAnd Stan's gonna puke on Wendy\r\nNow during the day they all go to that school\r\nThe Chef sings a song 'cause he's just so cool\r\nI hope that they're all ready for the latest quiz\r\nMr. Garrison's not gay, but Stan's dog is\r\nNow I'll tell you the easy truth, I love the little sleazy youths\r\nI wanna call up Jesus too, yeah I want the Cheezy Poofs\r\nPsychotic turkeys tore the place apart\r\nTerrance and Philip, all they do is fart\r\nAnd Kyle's stupid mother tried to can the show\r\nBut then he met Mr. Hankey who said...\r\nKenny gets killed then comes back next week\r\nIt's like he's being cloned by that mad scientist freak\r\nBut I don't understand why he wastes his time\r\nHe's not worth it 'cause he's only got one behind\r\nAnd Cartman is still gaining weight\r\nEatin' appetizers, Snacky Cakes, Cheezy Poofs, Beefcake!\r\nStan's uncle Jimbo hunts rabbit and fox\r\nAnd his friend Ned has a cool voice box\r\nAs odd as it seems Jesus fights for a cause\r\nThat's to beat the crap out of Santa Claus\r\nAnd now they got toys on the shelf at Kay-Bee\r\nAnd a home version of Kick The Baby\r\nAnd if you try to change the channel while I'm watchin' the show\r\nI'll...\r\nSo why do I watch this show, all the people\r\nIn the town think I'm insane\r\nAfter a hard day's work this show provides\r\nQuite a relief for my brain\r\n'Cause if I didn't well then \r\nI","private":"0","comments":"Back in late 1997 I was a huge fan of the then new TV show South Park. One day while I was sitting in my car waiting for my then-girlfriend-now-wife to come out of a meeting at her job I was listening to an old school rap show on the radio. The song \"South Bronx\" by Boogie Down Productions came on and my brain immediately transposed South Park for South Bronx. I debated for a long time whether or not to do the parody because I didn't think many people would have heard the original song. I'm glad I did, though, because it was my first hit on the Dr. Demento Show. It spent two weeks at #1 and ended up the 4th most requested song of 1998<br><br>\r\n\r\n15 years later South Park is still on the air and it's still awesome. So when I decided to put out a Best of Sudden Death compilation I figured I had to update this song. So, ladies and gentlemen, I proudly present, (finally), \"South Park Junkie (2012).\" <br><br>\r\n\r\nThis is one of several songs I will be updating for the Best of Sudden Death compilation. Unfortunately that project is far behind schedule at this point, so I'm just going to keep chugging away on it and it'll get done when it's done. Enjoy!","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2012-10-20","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"167","title":"Tough Guy","artist":"1","file":"Tough_Guy.mp3","freemp3":"Tough_Guy.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Take a look, like what you see?\r\nI know you do, and you wanna be just like me\r\n","private":"0","comments":"I asked my fans for ideas for ridiculous song topics.\r\n\r\nKim Crist said \"One of you comedy musicians need to get off your ass and write me a song about...\"\r\n\r\nWell, I don't want to spoil it.  Just listen.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2012-11-06","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"168","title":"Forces of Nature","artist":"1","file":"Forces_of_Nature.mp3","freemp3":"Forces_of_Nature.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";}","lyrics":"Wind is the force of the moving air \r\nIt","private":"0","comments":"Mike Beucler said: \"We need a rap song describing the 4 fundamental forces of nature.\"  I'm not sure WHY we need a rap song describing the 4 fundamental forces of nature, but if we need one we need one.  So here it is.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2012-11-14","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"169","title":"Vote For Me","artist":"1","file":"Vote_For_Me.mp3","freemp3":"Vote_For_Me.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"My fellow Americans, we","private":"0","comments":"This is a song I wrote for my campaign to get me to the 2013 Macworld\/iWorld expo.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2012-11-20","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"170","title":"Shaving Desires","artist":"1","file":"Shaving_Desires.mp3","freemp3":"Shaving_Desires.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"People ask me how I get the lines in my beard\r\nThere","private":"0","comments":"I asked my fans for ridiculous song topics.  TV's Kyle said \"There's a blueberry flavored marmot that lives in my kneecap and grants my shaving desires.\"  Since Kyle is an animator I had to do at least a quick animation for this song.  See the video for this song at http:\/\/youtu.be\/EzdN1iJL3Gw","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2012-11-27","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"22","cover":"herp-derp-cover.jpg","url":"herp-derp-ya-dont-sterp"},{"id":"171","title":"Ear Dogs","artist":"1","file":"Ear_Dogs.mp3","freemp3":"Ear_Dogs.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"It","private":"0","comments":"I asked my fans for ridiculous song ideas.  Insane Ian said \"The potential theory that small dogs are living in my ear canal and slowly telling me to kill the cat.\"  \r\n\r\nOk then.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2012-12-28","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"22","cover":"herp-derp-cover.jpg","url":"herp-derp-ya-dont-sterp"},{"id":"172","title":"12\/12\/12","artist":"1","file":"12\/12\/12.mp3","freemp3":"12\/12\/12.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Come on people, what","private":"0","comments":"I wanted to commemorate the neat calendar date of 12\/12\/12.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2012-12-11","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"173","title":"In An I-HOP","artist":"1","file":"In_An_I-HOP.mp3","freemp3":"In_An_I-HOP.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"It was a very special day and I wanted to celebrate\r\nIn a very special way and I just couldn't wait\r\nSo I took myself out to a very special place\r\nI went to I-HOP so I could stuff my very social face\r\nI crammed into a booth that was a little too tight\r\nWhere the waitress gave me water she was quite the pretty sight\r\nBut she asked me the dumbest question I ever heard\r\nShe said \"Would you like coffee?\" Don't be absurd\r\nOf course I want coffee I want all of the coffee\r\nAnd if you spill a little on me don't worry I'll lick it off me\r\nBut first I want to order what I like to eat best\r\nThe Heartstopper 9000, it's a special request\r\nA breakfast sandwich with ham, eggs, and cheese\r\nA sausage patty and some extra bacon if you please\r\nPiled over that is some thin-cut steak\r\nAnd I top if off with a waffle and a pancake\r\nIt was such a pretty sight, that I began to tear up\r\nAnd to drink, I got a large glass of maple syrup\r\nThen I said I needed room so everybody stand back\r\nI'm a professional, and this ain't no light snack\r\nThe both grew tighter with every bite that I consumed\r\nBut it didn't stand a chance, this sandwich was doomed\r\nAnd when I finished, I threw my arms up, \"Check, please!\"\r\nThen the room began to spin and I got weak in the knees, and I was\r\n\r\n\r\nThrowin' up in an I-HOP again\r\nI'm thrown' up in an I-HOP again\r\nI'm thrown' up in an I-HOP again\r\nand I'm glad that I don't have to clean it up\r\nI'm thrown' up in an I-HOP again\r\nI'm thrown' up in an I-HOP again\r\nI'm thrown' up in an I-HOP again\r\nAnd yet somehow I don't think I've had enough\r\n\r\n\r\nThe waitress came swiftly asking if I was OK\r\nShe took my hand, helped me stand, and wiped some vomit away\r\nI nodded as she held me up and stood there for a while\r\nAnd through it all she never lost her beautiful smile\r\nThe scene was surreal, could this be what it seems?\r\nI'm in an I-HOP, did I just meet the girl of my dreams?\r\nI stared into her eyes and I felt funny inside\r\nI tried to speak but it sounded more like somebody died, 'cause I was\r\n\r\n\r\nThrown' up in an I-HOP again\r\nI'm thrown' up in an I-HOP again\r\nI'm thrown' up in an I-HOP again\r\nAnd it makes a pretty modern art design\r\nI'm thrown' up in an I-HOP again\r\nI'm thrown' up in an I-HOP again\r\nI'm thrown' up in an I-HOP again\r\nAnd my bill was only $7.99\r\n\r\nNow there's a girl who's getting a big tip.","private":"0","comments":"MC Ohm-I - how about throwing up in an IHOP? I did that a few months ago. >_>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2013-01-06","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"22","cover":"herp-derp-cover.jpg","url":"herp-derp-ya-dont-sterp"},{"id":"174","title":"JoCo Got Jacked","artist":"1","file":"JoCo_Got_Jacked.mp3","freemp3":"JoCo_Got_Jacked.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"57\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-A-Lot","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"You may have heard recently that Jonathan Coulton was ripped off by Glee. If you haven't the short version is they used his version of \"Baby Got Back\" by Sir Mix-A-Lot without even telling him or giving him any credit.  This is me venting about that.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2013-01-28","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"175","title":"Companion Application","artist":"1","file":"Companion_Application.mp3","freemp3":"Companion_Application.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"If you had a machine that could take you anywhere<br>\r\nAnywhere in the universe<br>\r\nAt any point in time<br>\r\nWhere would you go?<br>\r\n<br>\r\n\r\nMe? I would go to the moon, or the stars, or the moons of Mars<br>\r\nOr drink a sonic screwdriver at some planet's dive bar<br>\r\nAnd get an alien to come back to my place with me<br>\r\nJust be careful I don't come down with a space V.D.<br>\r\nHow cool would it be to go back to my past<br>\r\nAnd see the old neighborhood where we had all those good laughs<br>\r\nI could seek out and find my old bully, Big Reggie<br>\r\nThen I'd sneak up behind him and give him a big wedgie<br>\r\nHistory is ours with the turn of a dial<br>\r\nWe could ride the Titanic, well at least for a while<br>\r\nOr see the first Super Bowl and get a front row ticket<br>\r\nOr, if you prefer, a nice game of cricket<br>\r\nI'm easy, I'll go along anywhere<br>\r\nI don't care, just make sure I can breathe the air<br>\r\nSo please let me in your little blue abode<br>\r\nAnd show me how to use the commode<br>\r\nI want to ride in the TARDIS, I want to go the farthest<br>\r\nI want to see a caveman produce his first harvest<br>\r\nI want to see a dinosaur, a minotour, <br>\r\nAnd go on tour around the universe<br>\r\nAnd see who is really smartest<br>\r\n<br>\r\n\r\nI see you like celery, I guess I could try it<br>\r\nI prefer pie, but I've been meaning to diet<br>\r\nWhatever you say, we'll do it your way, OK?<br>\r\nAnd when we meet the Cybermen I swear I won't be afraid<br>\r\nOK, yeah I probably will, but I can help<br>\r\nI have gold, and I've heard that's pretty bad for their health<br>\r\nPlus I'm good at math, I studied English lit<br>\r\nAnd string theory almost makes sense to me a bit<br>\r\nI can be an asset with the talents I bring<br>\r\nI can even dust all those little circular things<br>\r\nAnd I'll tidy up and sweep all the TARDIS hallways<br>\r\nJust how far back do these things to anyway?<br>\r\nYou can do your thing, I trust your expertise<br>\r\nJust let me have a fling in the Zero Room, please<br>\r\nI can't wait until I hear the whirr and zoom<br>\r\nI assume that you have plenty of room<br>\r\nI want to ride in the TARDIS, I want to go the farthest<br>\r\nI want to see a caveman produce his first harvest<br>\r\nI want to see a dinosaur, a minotour, <br>\r\nAnd go on tour around the universe<br>\r\nAnd see whose head is the hardest<br>\r\n<br>\r\n\r\nI want to see how these mysteries are solved, I want to meet<br>\r\nAn alien and shake his hand, or whatever it's called<br>\r\nI wanna see what brought and end to the dinosaur's time<br>\r\nOh right, that was Adric, never mind<br>\r\nAll of creation's a potential vacation<br>\r\nFrom primordial ooze to an advanced space station<br>\r\nJust think of all the things that I don't know about yet<br>\r\nAnd while we're at it can I have a troglodyte as a pet?<br>\r\nI promise I won't ever interfere with your career<br>\r\nI'll come along and I'll be out of your hair way over here<br>\r\nAnd you can keep doing","private":"0","comments":"2013 is the 50th anniversary of the classic TV show Doctor Who. I've been watching this show since I was 9 and it's one of my all-time favorite shows. I can't possibly let this year go by without doing something.\r\n<br><br>\r\nTo that end I will be releasing a concept album later this year called I Am The Doctor. The album will feature one song per incarnation of The Doctor along with the title track. This is the song for Doctor #5 and features a cameo by the man himself, Peter Davison.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2013-02-25","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"26","cover":"i-am-the-doctor-cover.jpg","url":"i-am-the-doctor"},{"id":"176","title":"Ozzman (2013)","artist":"1","file":"Ozzman_(2013).mp3","freemp3":"Ozzman_(2013).mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"52\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"Iron Man\" by Sir Mix-A-Lot","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";}","lyrics":"You can come and see my band, as I command\r\nHeavy metal rhythms from a middle aged man\r\nSmack my doggies when they crap on the rug\r\nBut then I feel bad because I love that pug\r\nFor years I've peddled, hard rock metal\r\nGot a dozen lawsuits but I'm hoping to settle\r\nI go on tour, the fans want more\r\nI love to throw things at the people next door\r\nI got kids showing up at all hours of the night\r\nCan't stand it but I handle it and try to be polite\r\nGettin' old before my time thanks to Kelly and Jack\r\nArthritis in my knee and a crick in my back\r\nNow I'm back on the scene 'though some find it obscene\r\nI'll be rockin' like this till I rupture a spleen\r\nA lot of dummies get money in a sound-alike band\r\nBut nothing there can compare to the true Ozzman\r\n  \r\n                                          \r\nI hold the record in Guinnes for bat heads finished\r\nI'm finding new ways to mutilate the Queen's English\r\nMy son wears cammo, he wants live ammo\r\nI can't allow that or the house'll go kablammo\r\nI shave my stubble, I don't want trouble\r\nBut the prince of friggin' darkness doesn't need no damn bubbles\r\nLike where I reside? I'll be your tour guide\r\nI bought it for a song I wrote about suicide\r\nThe bad boy of rock, not to be mocked\r\nMove onto my block and you might get shocked\r\nWe might seem weird but that's part of the drill\r\nWe're sane compared to the rest of Beverly Hills\r\n\r\nWoah! Is that Ozzy?\r\nUh, huh huh huh. Ozzy's an old fart.\r\n(both laugh)\r\nYeah, heh heh. Woah, chick it out. A mini-Ozzy.\r\nHuh huh huh, yeah. He's a dork.\r\nYeah. Um. Hey Butthead. What's all that beeping? \r\nUh, I dunno. Maybe there's a truck backing up or something.\r\nYeah, heh heh. The Ozzmobile! Hehehe.\r\n(Batman theme) Du-nuh du-nuh du-nuh du-nuh \r\nDdu-nuh du-nuh du-nuh du-nuh Ozzy! \r\nDu-nuh du-nuh du-nuh...\r\nShut up, assmunch!\r\nHeh, hmm heh. Sorry 'bout that.\r\nBeavis, check it out! A chick!\r\nHm, cool! Uuuum. What's the matter with her hair?\r\nUh huh huh. Come to Butthead.\r\n(Both chant Iron Man riff.)\r\n  \r\nLong hair I'm brushin', we have a discussion\r\nAnd they bleep half the show 'cause we can't stop cussin'\r\nI crunch a quarter note, I sacrifice a goat\r\nI watch the weather channel 'cause I can't work the remote\r\nMTV paid it, our show's the highest rated\r\nAnna Nicole is just way too sedated\r\nBut sooner or later I'll need a translater\r\nMumble like Schwartzenegger in Terminator\r\nGuitar chord ripper, Perrier sipper\r\nWalk around the house in my fuzzy bunny slippers\r\nFlesh like leather, worn and weathered\r\nTake the blame a lot myself, but we're all in this together\r\nMy kids creations don't cause ovations\r\nThey don't have talent, but they have agents\r\nCritics wanna diss, fans don't wanna miss\r\nA lot of networks got a show but it ain't like this\r\n\r\nJack. Uh huh huh.","private":"0","comments":"10 years ago I did this parody of \"Iron Man\" by Sir Mix-A-Lot which is one of my all-time favorite songs. The song became a hit on Dr. Demento but I was never happy with the music. So now, 10 years later, I've decided to go all out. Here is a mostly brand new recording of \"Ozzman.\" This features all new music produced by Steve Goodie and new vocals by me. I was able to use Luke's original recordings of his parts so I didn't have to have him redo his.\r\n\r\nThis song is from the upcoming double album Rhythms from the Crypt: The Best of Sudden Death, which I've been working on since last September. It's almost done. I swear. It'll be out soon.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2013-04-24","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"178","title":"Piratz Tavern","artist":"1","file":"Piratz_Tavern.mp3","freemp3":"Piratz_Tavern.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";i:1;s:3:\" 58\";i:2;s:3:\" 51\";}","guests":"a:3:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";i:1;s:3:\" 58\";i:2;s:3:\" 51\";}","lyrics":"[intro]\r\nAvast, mateys! We","private":"0","comments":" Piratz Tavern is a pirate themed bar in Silver Springs, MD that was the unfortunate victim of a reality show called Bar Rescue. The Tavern approached Bar Rescue with a specific list of issues they wanted addressed. None of those issues were addressed by the show. Instead, the crew and host Jon Taffer showed up, shouted \"NEERRRDDS!\" a la Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds, and gutted the bar. Using a combination of half-truths, quotes taken out of context, staged scenes, and outright lies they made the bar look like a pathetic shell of a business that was on the verge of failure, staffed by a group of incompetent buffoons who \"would rather play pirate\" than run a business.\r\n<br>\r\n<br>\r\nThis song was commissioned by one of Piratz Tavern's regulars from my Kickstarter campaign from last year. It features background vocals by the great Luke Ski, Insane Ian, TV's Kyle, Tony Goldmark, Annie Lynsen, and Nathan \"Black Dog Nate\" Rosen.\r\n<br>\r\n<br>\r\nIf you want to watch the episode in question you can do so\r\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.spike.com\/episodes\/81jluh\/bar-rescue-yo-ho-ho-and-a-bottle-of-dumb-season-2-ep-201\">here<\/a>\r\n. Just keep in mind the parts that aren't entirely made up are highly exaggerated. There's a good article about it\r\n<a href=\"http:\/\/k23detectives.com\/2012\/09\/23\/piratz-tavern-bar-resue\/\">here<\/a>\r\n.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2013-09-19","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"22","cover":"herp-derp-cover.jpg","url":"herp-derp-ya-dont-sterp"},{"id":"177","title":"Autocomplete","artist":"1","file":"Autocomplete.mp3","freemp3":"Autocomplete.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";i:1;s:3:\" 43\";i:2;s:3:\" 25\";}","guests":"a:3:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";i:1;s:3:\" 43\";i:2;s:3:\" 25\";}","lyrics":"\t\t\t\r\n\r\n\r\nI spend hours at a time signed online at a coffee shop\r\nThat's fine but I have to buy something or they make me stop\r\nSo every twenty minutes there's a drink with caffeine in it\r\nAnd I'm so hyped up that I can type 300 words a minute\r\nThe problem is of course that I can't control my hands\r\nSo I'm typing random things that no one can understand\r\nBut when I read this paragraph I just need to laugh\r\nBecause I won NaNoWriMo in an hour and a half\r\nThen while I tried to think of something witty to say\r\nI went to Google one day and typed in the letter J\r\nI was thrilled when it filled in all the rest for me\r\nYou see 'cause obviously they know what's best for me\r\nI was excited to try out and see what this feature does\r\nBut I also wondered what this kind of sorcery was\r\nI've seen software that could do amazing things in my time\r\nBut I've never seen a program that could read my mind\r\n\r\nchorus \r\nAuto-complete!  Auto-immune!\r\nAuto-bot!  Auto-tune!\r\nAuto-mobile!  Auto-mation!\r\nAuto-erotic asphyxiation!\r\n\r\n(spoken bit)\r\n\r\nThings online used to be so hard to find\r\nYou had to type in all your searches one letter at a time\r\nWe had to find a better way because I didn't have all day\r\nAnd where did they hide the letter Y key anyway?\r\nNow I can't express to you how much things are better\r\nI feel like it's Wheel Of Fortune, time to pick a letter!\r\nI put in words at random or sometimes I even planned 'em\r\nEither way today I'm starting up my newest nerdy fandom\r\nI'm thinking we should have a convention once a year\r\nTo discuss the newest autocompletes that may appear\r\nAnd we can stay up all night as the nerds have a fight\r\nOver who was the better captain, Piccolo or Kite\r\nAnd we'll sit in filk circles, and sing our favorite songs\r\nWith auto completed lyrics so they all come out wrong\r\nAnd we'll take every chance to make up new nerdy rants\r\nAnd I can cosplay as Frodo from the Lord of the Dance\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\n(spoken bit)\r\n\r\nThey say your soul mate is the one who understands you\r\nThe one who takes control of your soul and freakin' brands you\r\nI've searched all around, I finally found it and I flipped\r\nTurns out the one who knows me best is a chunk of javascript\r\nSometimes it makes me nervous though, I have to say\r\n'Cause Google knows more about me than the NSA\r\nI love it though, I don't want to sound like I'm griping\r\n'Cause really who has time to do all of that typing?\r\nI don't have a chance to answer all of my fans\r\nIt's too much wear and tear on my finely manicured hands\r\nSo now I let it fill in when I type the letter K\r\nAnd in fact that's exactly what I wanted to say\r\nSo thank you to whoever wrote the ESP routine\r\nHow did you know I was looking for that Golden Girls scene?\r\nYou've provided me with countless random internet fun\r\nBut now I gotta go because I don't have anything done\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\n(spoken bit)","private":"0","comments":"Some time ago Google introduced an autocomplete feature for their searches. This had the interesting side effect of surfacing some of the stranger queries that people enter in Google. The best of these have been compiled on FailBlog <a href=\"http:\/\/failblog.cheezburger.com\/tag\/autocomplete-me\">here<\/a>.\r\n\r\nAll of the autocompletes you hear in this song are real. Lyrics and music by Devo Spice. Background vocals by Luke Ski, Jared Ringold, and Worm Quartet who also plays the part of the computer.\r\n","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2013-08-29","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"22","cover":"herp-derp-cover.jpg","url":"herp-derp-ya-dont-sterp"},{"id":"179","title":"Who Is The Doctor?","artist":"1","file":"Who_Is_The_Doctor.mp3","freemp3":"Who_Is_The_Doctor.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";i:1;s:3:\" 43\";i:2;s:3:\" 25\";}","guests":"a:3:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";i:1;s:3:\" 43\";i:2;s:3:\" 25\";}","lyrics":"Who is the Doctor? He's just a cranky old guy\r\nLiving out by the junk yard, I can't explain why\r\nBut he rocks his long locks with a swankier do\r\nYes he's older than he looks and much crankier too\r\nHe resides out of sight where he hides from the world\r\nIn a tiny blue box with a whiny young girl\r\nNo, it ain?t that creepy, Susan is his granddaughter\r\nBut I'm not sure what the story is with Polly or Dodo\r\nThe blue police box that the duo call home\r\nIs actually a time machine which allows them to roam\r\nAnywhere in time and space, any place, to and from quick\r\nAnd it's bigger on the inside, kind of like my stomach\r\nThe two of them were happy there and everything was cool\r\nUntil the day Susan's teachers followed her home from school\r\nThey were concerned so of course they had to force their way inside\r\nAnd now they're both along for the ride\r\n\r\n(chorus)\r\nWho is the Doctor?  Who is the Doctor?  Who is the Doctor?  Doctor who? (3 xs)\r\n\r\nWho is the Doctor?  He's an eccentric old man\r\nWith long hair, funny clothes, and a cane in his hand\r\nTraveling the universe with other people coming with him\r\nLike Ian and Barbara and assorted young women\r\nHe can take you any place at any point in time\r\nBut the TARDIS? can't exactly stop on a dime\r\nTell him where you want to go and he'll say \"Yes, my dear.\r\nI hear the planet Skaro is nice this time of year.\"\r\nAlternately maybe you'd prefer to arrive\r\n100,000 years ago to see the Flintstones live\r\nOr perhaps you'd like to see an Aztec sacrifice\r\nJust be careful that you don?t get too involved in their rites\r\nHe's had all these companions and what no one understands\r\nIs when you tag along with him you take your life in your hands\r\nThe Doctor can regenerate so he won't die yet\r\nI'd like to see you try that\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\nWhat is his name? And why's it such a secret anyway?\r\nAnd why did he leave his home planet Gallifrey\r\nWhy'd he come to Earth? Is he on the lam\r\nIn an interstellar witness protection program?\r\nDid his family disown him, did they try to clone him?\r\nOr did they send him back to when the natives might stone him?\r\nAnd how many licks does it take to get to\r\nThe center of the TARDIS?\r\n\r\nWho is the Doctor?  A renegade Time Lord\r\nCruising around in a broken down interstellar Ford\r\nThe police box originally worked as a disguise\r\nBut not so much past about 1965\r\nIt's a stolen antique Type 40 that's prone\r\nTo go wherever 'cause it kind of has a mind of it's own\r\nSometimes it appears right where he wants it to\r\nOther times in the middle of a Dalek barbecue\r\nHe's made many enemies from foes who have met him\r\nBy now I think the whole universe is out to get him\r\nHe's traveled far and wide so he's not safe anywhere\r\nYou think the Daleks are bad you should meet Robespierre\r\nSo who is the Doctor?  That's the big question\r\nHe's the leading cause of alien indigestion\r\nA man of mystery and that's all we really know\r\nBut also he's the star of the show\r\n(chorus)","private":"0","comments":"The 50th anniversary of Doctor Who is right around the corner. I've been watching the show since I was 9 or 10 and am so excited for the show that I've decided to release a Doctor Who concept album called \"I Am The Doctor.\"\r\n\r\nThe album will feature one song per incarnation of the Doctor plus the title track. This song will be the first song on the album and is the song for William Hartnell's Doctor. It features background vocals by Chris Mezzolesta, Jared Ringold, and the great Luke Ski.\r\n\r\nLook for the official release of the album in early to mid December.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2013-11-21","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"26","cover":"i-am-the-doctor-cover.jpg","url":"i-am-the-doctor"},{"id":"180","title":"Fandom Paradise","artist":"1","file":"Fandom_Paradise.mp3","freemp3":"Fandom_Paradise.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Fandom Paradise\r\n\r\n[verse 1]\r\nI've been watching this show since before I could talk\r\nAnd the more I would watch the more the Doctor would rock\r\nI even heard my first word was \"exterminate\"\r\nAnd I had a British accent until I was 8\r\nNow I'm all grown and I'm out on my own\r\nAnd I got a car loan so about it I moan\r\nBut I've got my own home and I've decked it out right\r\nLike a Time Lord aboard my own TARDIS in flight\r\nI start my day in a way that nothing can go wrong\r\nAlarm clocks rockin' out my own theme song\r\nI wash my body and hair and then I put on a pair\r\nOf my tailor made suede Gallifreyan underwear\r\nPeople come to visit and ask \"Is it Halloween?\r\nOr a dream?\" and I'm always like \"What do you mean?\r\nI'm creating a scene with the Doctor and Sarah\r\nSquaring off against the Androids of Tara.\"\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nParadise, This is fandom paradise\r\nI look around and say very nice, it's a personal vice But it's paradise\r\n\r\nParadise, This is fandom paradise\r\nSpare no expense and pay any price, Ain't no crap from IKEA This is paradise\r\n\r\n[verse 2]\r\nI painted the door of my bathroom bright blue\r\nI'll invite you if you're a fan to walk right through\r\nIt looks like the TARDIS and I don't mean to boast\r\nBut my toilet is bigger on the inside than most\r\nI travel around town, a pretty girl by my side\r\nShe's my very own companion, along for the ride\r\nThrough very scary scenarios, she's lucky she survives\r\nAs we carpool to work, sometimes she even drives\r\nThe morning isn't bad but rush hour is the hardest\r\nMy heart is set on one day commuting in the TARDIS\r\nI could totally fly it, I'm sure the console\r\nIsn't any more complex than my remote control\r\nWhen I get to work I'm in my own little world\r\nMy cubicle is decorated with the time tunnel swirls \r\nBut I'm suspicious of my boss, because he's foreign\r\nShort, stocky, and bald, I think he might be Sontaran\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\n[bridge]\r\nMy girlfriend says it stinks and she thinks it's a disaster\r\nShe mocked the TARDIS-toilet and she balked when I asked her\r\nTo knit me a really long scarf, it was no use\r\nBut, you know what, she said she would knit me a long noose\r\nShe won't watch without a bunch of tequila\r\nAnd she flat out refused to dress up like Leela\r\nSaying she wants no part of my nerdy perversion\r\nI can't wait 'til she regenerates into a newer version\r\n\r\n[verse 3]\r\nMy kitchen looks like the creature from the pit escaped\r\nMy salt and pepper shakers are Dalek shaped\r\nAnd they skillfully exterminate the blandness from my food\r\nBut my coffee-making robot has a bad attitude\r\nI've written lots of fan fiction featuring me\r\nAlong with every companion and a creature or three\r\nAnd soon I hope to film one of the scripts I've penned\r\nWith Mary Tamm who is a very close personal friend\r\n(she just doesn't know it yet)\r\nI got bad asthma that attacks when I run so\r\nI like to make my lungs go (TARDIS noise)\r\nI named my dog K-9 and he can run a lot faster\r\nI just can't get him to talk or call me \"Master\"\r\nI've performed rituals to try to raise Kroll\r\nI figure go big or don't do it at all\r\n'Cause if you're gonna be nerdy might as well do it right\r\nNow everybody Weng-Chiang tonight!\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\n[end chorus]\r\nParadise\r\nThis is fandom paradise\r\nI've dealt with giant rats once or twice\r\nBut that won't bother me\r\nThis is paradise\r\n\r\nParadise\r\nThis is fandom paradise\r\nLet me give you some good advice\r\nBuild yourself a little corner of\r\nParadise\t\r\n\r\n(spoken outro)\r\nme: OK, I was thinking we could maybe redecorate the dining room so the table looks like the TARDIS console and we could make a chandelier that looks like the center of the console and make it go up and down when you turn it on?  What do you think?\r\n\r\nSara: I think I just came up with a new place I can shove your sonic screwdriver.  Get over here!\r\n\r\nme: Oh, no, wait, honey, no!\r\n(sonic screwdriver noise over yelling)","private":"0","comments":"From my I Am The Doctor concept album, this is the song for Tom Baker's Doctor.  He was the first Doctor I ever saw and when I was 11 or 12 I purchased a long scarf just like his at a convention.  This song takes that idea to the extreme.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2014-01-29","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"26","cover":"i-am-the-doctor-cover.jpg","url":"i-am-the-doctor"},{"id":"181","title":"The Regeneration","artist":"1","file":"The_Regeneration.mp3","freemp3":"The_Regeneration.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"The Regeneration\r\nby Devo Spice\r\n\r\nv1\r\nThere's a new dance craze that'll vex your ways\r\nAnd when you do it you'll be feeling the effects for days\r\nBut hey there's really nothing to it, just listen to my verse and\r\nYou can learn to do it, and be a whole new person\r\nTrust me now, have I ever lead you astray\r\nIt's really easy to do, if you're from Gallifrey\r\nIf not, well, it may take a little practice\r\nBut don't panic yet, let me tell you what the act is\r\nFirst you have to get hurt, like a lot\r\nLike attacked by the Rani or perhaps you got shot\r\nThen you step to the left, or stagger to the right\r\nThrow your head back and burp up a yellow light\r\nCome up with something witty if you can and such\r\nJust try not to freak out your companion too much\r\nThen you're doing the new dance that's sweeping the nation\r\nEverybody do the Regeneration\r\n\r\nv2\r\nOnce you're all done you should be a whole new man\r\nOr woman, or cheetah, or whatever you can\r\nThen you'll have another lifetime, now how does that sound?\r\nSo you can try not to screw it up the seventh time around\r\nThat means more time to find people to assist\r\nMore time to find the Hand of Omega or Nemesis\r\nMore time to wonder where you left your car keys last\r\nAnd more time to torment your young friend about her past\r\nYou can learn to do it if you think you can\r\nLike if you need to hide from your Uncle Wink again\r\nOr if you've got a crazy ex that won't leave you alone\r\nJust rearrange your DNA and change the number on your phone\r\nDo it one time, I guarantee you'll be amazed\r\nThrow your hands to the side and act like you're being tazed\r\nIt's the hot new dance craze that's sweeping the nation\r\nEverybody do the Regeneration\r\n\r\n\f\r\nbreak\r\nAce: I love this new dance, Professor, but I have a question.\r\nDoc: Yes, what is it, Ace?\r\nAce: Is it safe?\r\nDoc: Well of course it's safe!  Whatever do you mean?\r\nAce: Well, you know, with my backpack?\r\nDoc: Ah, yes, of course.  Well Ace, if I were you I would rrrremove the Nitro.\r\nAce: Aww, I had a feeling you were gonna say that.\r\n\r\nv3\r\nSome people can't do it but they want a new life\r\nSo they cheat their way through it and go under the knife\r\nCher and Michael Jackson couldn't possibly look weirder\r\nAnd now there's no way that we can save the cheerleader\r\nMel knows how to do it, and so does Ace\r\nBut stand back 'cause she's likely to blow up the whole place\r\nBut she can give a demonstration, and show you how it's done\r\nSo get on the dance floor and tear yourself a new one!\r\nFade in and out or swirl around and around\r\nGrab your chest like Red Fox and make a wheezing sound\r\nThen heat up your body temperature to five-hundred Kelvin\r\nAnd you can cheat death without resorting to a melvin\r\nIt'll fix you up with such a smooth touch\r\nBut your fashion sense probably won't improve much\r\nIt's the hot new dance craze that's sweeping the nation\r\nEverybody do the Regeneration","private":"0","comments":"After a few years of playing The Doctor, William Hartnell's health began to fail and he was unable to continue in the role.  So that the show could continue the producers came up with the idea of regeneration.  That is, when the Doctor is seriously injured or sick his body can be reborn into a new one.  This allowed Patrick Troughton to take over in the title role even though he looked and acted nothing like William Hartnell.<br><br>\r\n\r\nThis is my song for the 7th Doctor, played by Sylvester McCoy, and features Sophie Aldred who played his companion Ace during his run as The Doctor.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2014-02-01","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"26","cover":"i-am-the-doctor-cover.jpg","url":"i-am-the-doctor"},{"id":"182","title":"Bad Wolf","artist":"1","file":"Bad_Wolf.mp3","freemp3":"Bad_Wolf.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Where have you been, young man?  You get over here!\r\nI've been worried sick while you've been off God-knows-where\r\nIn some distant time enjoying alien views\r\nOh you've been fighting a time war?  A likely excuse!\r\nI've been stuck here, you know, where time goes straight\r\nAnd while I've had to wait, let me tell you things weren't great\r\nThere was nothing on TV but that may be no surprise\r\nSo I had to watch dreck like Star Trek Enterprise\r\nThe void you left behind was annoying and substantial\r\nThere wasn't a show FOX couldn't wait to cancel\r\nAnd no more music videos on MTV\r\nI tell you man, the Golf Channel ain't tempting me\r\nI blame you, if you didn't leave me\r\nI never would have had to battle with reality TV\r\nInstead we all had to hear William Hung sing\r\nAnd somehow thanks to you now Snookie is a thing\r\n(chorus)\r\n. . . Big bad wolf!\r\n. . Baaad wolf (4x) \r\n\r\nI see that you still can't quite control it right\r\nReturning Rose a full year after a twelve hour flight\r\nIf you can't return a guest to her time at her behest \r\nFor her sake maybe you should go retake your driving test\r\nYou always did want to grab the TARDIS by the reigns\r\nAnd control it like a child with a pair of great danes\r\nAnd it caused you great pains, threw you all over creation\r\nThat won't exactly make for an ideal vacation\r\nSo what's the story?  You're the last of your kind?\r\nThe daleks are gone, the Time Lords are confined\r\nIn a time-locked war out of the main time-stream?\r\nOne question, what does that even mean?\r\nI deserve a better explanation than that\r\nI defended the show from never-ending attacks\r\nAfter nine hundred years it should be me you are thanking\r\nRemember you are not too old for a spanking\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\nYou didn't call, you didn't write during all that time\r\nI didn't know if you were dead or had become a street mime\r\nNot knowing what was going on really was the hardest\r\nBut I see you had time to remodel the TARDIS\r\nAll we got was a crappy movie from FOX\r\nA half-hearted attempt for our two-hearted Docs\r\nIt was nothing like the stories that have been so glorious\r\nFrom here to Raxacoricofallapatorius\r\nDuring that time we couldn't find any mentions \r\nThere was almost nothing Doctor Who related at conventions\r\nBut fans would still gather rather than let it die\r\nAnd pour a forty on the curb for episodes gone by\r\nBut now the Who Fans Anonymous meeting can ajourn\r\nHe says \"Run!\"- The prodigal son has returned\r\nAnd the fans can hardly wait to see the Daleks to attack\r\nI can't tell you how great it feels to have you back","private":"0","comments":"Doctor Who went off the air when I was 16. 16 years later it re-emerged better than ever (not counting the FOX TV movie, which I usually don't). So for literally half my life I was without the show. When the show ended I was getting my drivers license. When it came back I was married and expecting my second child.<br><Br>\r\n\r\nWhen it came back I was excited, and cautiously optimistic, but I couldn't help but feel like a parent whose child had run away 16 years ago and just reappeared without any explanation. So that was the mindset that I used to write this song.<br><br>\r\n\r\nThis song is from my long-awaited Doctor Who tribute album I Am The Doctor which you can order <a href=\"http:\/\/www.thefump.com\/store_release.php?id=124\">here!<\/a><br><Br>\r\n\r\nLyrics, music, vocals: Devo Spice\r\nChorus vocals: Lauren Rockwell and Klopfenpop","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"26","cover":"i-am-the-doctor-cover.jpg","url":"i-am-the-doctor"},{"id":"183","title":"Lost in Time","artist":"1","file":"Lost_in_Time.mp3","freemp3":"Lost_in_Time.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"When Doctor Who first started the show was a huge success and the BBC made their money by, among other things, licensing the show to other stations around the world. Once the show aired there was no other foreseeable way for them to make money with it, so they discarded it. The video tape used to record the show was reused to record new shows. Then home video became a thing and the BBC went \"Oh crap.\" Since then they have been trying desperately to get back all the episodes that are still missing, 97 in all at the time of this recording.<br><br>\r\n\r\n\"Lost in Time\" is the second song from my Doctor Who concept album I Am The Doctor. I dedicated my Patrick Troughton song to this topic because he was the Doctor most affected by this policy, which sucks because he was awesome as The Doctor. And in fact for a long time there were no complete stories available anywhere that featured the companion Victoria. The bit about me meeting Deborah Watling at a con is true. (There are now two available.)<br><br>\r\n\r\n26 Doctor Who stories are either missing or incomplete. All of them are mentioned by name in the lyrics of this song.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"26","cover":"i-am-the-doctor-cover.jpg","url":"i-am-the-doctor"},{"id":"184","title":"Paywutchyalike","artist":"1","file":"Paywutchyalike.mp3","freemp3":"Paywutchyalike.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 25\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 25\";}","parodyof":"\"Doowutchyalike\" by Digital Underground","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"41\";i:1;s:3:\" 51\";}","guests":"a:3:{i:0;s:2:\"41\";i:1;s:3:\" 52\";i:2;s:3:\" 25\";}","lyrics":"(Ooh! I see guys and girls hagglin'. Ooh-Ooh!)\r\n(Ooh! I see guys and girls hagglin'. Ooh-Ooh!)\r\n\r\n[Verse 1]\r\nDevo:\tNow as the music plays along,\r\nyou kinda like this song, but there's something wrong. \r\nThey're asking you for money for wutchyalike.\r\nAll:\tFor wutchyalike\r\nLuke:\tIt should be free since we're living in the digital age.\r\nThis is nothing but a big millennial outrage, \r\nso we'll go on strike.\r\nAll:\tWe're gonna pay what we like\r\nDevo & Ian:\t'Cause it's fine, I don't mean to whine, but if you find it online,\r\nthen hey, it didn't cost 'em a dime,\r\nso Paywutchyalike. Yeah.\r\nAll:\tIt's the new birthright.\r\nDevo:\tThey want ninety-nine cents, to cover bandwidth and such,  \r\nBut most nerdcore songs aren't worth half that much.\r\nSo Paywutchyalike.\r\nIan:\tYeah, \r\nAll:\tPaywutchyalike\r\n\r\n[Chorus 1]\r\nDevo:\tEverybody Paywutchyalike.\r\n(Ooh! I see guys and girls hagglin'. Ooh-Ooh!)\r\nDevo:\tYeah.\r\nDevo & Alex:\tPaywutchyalike.\r\n(Ooh! I see guys and girls hagglin'. Ooh-Ooh!)\r\nDevo:\tJust Paywutchyalike.\r\n(Ooh! I see guys and girls hagglin'. Ooh-Ooh!)\r\nDevo:\tYo, steal-wutchyalike.\r\n(Ooh! I see guys and girls hagglin'. Ooh-Ooh!)\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n[Verse 2]\r\nDevo:\tI mean rich, poor, high, low, or upper-middle class,\r\nLet's all kick the music industry in the ass,\r\nAnd pay what we like.\r\nAll:\tAnd pay what we like.\r\nDevo:\tIf it continues like this, then it's doomed to fail.\r\nLike a snake that's swallowing its own long tail.\r\nPaywutchyalike.\r\nOoh, that's a nasty bite.\r\nLuke:\tAttract all the people, from the poles to the equator.\r\nWe'll figure out how to monetize 'em later.\r\nStart up tonight? Hey,\r\nit worked for Twitter, right?\r\nIn the end this'll lead to more money for me,\r\nand a complete breakdown of society.\r\nExcept with fewer zombies, right? Yeah?\r\nThen Paywutchyalike!\r\n\r\n[Chorus 2]\r\nDevo:\tEverybody Paywutchyalike!\r\n(Ooh! I see guys and girls hagglin'. Ooh-Ooh!)\r\nDevo & Alex:\tPaywutchyalike.\r\n(Ooh! I see guys and girls hagglin'. Ooh-Ooh!)\r\nDevo:\tYo, Paywutchyalike. Gnome sane? Whatever you'd like to pay.\r\n(Ooh! I see guys and girls hagglin'. Ooh-Ooh!)\r\nDevo & Ian:\tTrade for Mike And Ikes.\r\n(Ooh! I see guys and girls hagglin'. Ooh-Ooh!)\r\n\r\nDevo:\tI like those candies.\r\nLuke:\tSeriously, there won't be zombies, right?\r\n\r\n[Verse 3]\r\nDevo:\tIt works so nice, just try it once or twice,\r\n'cause everybody's gettin' ripped off by retail price,\r\nso Paywutchyalike.\r\nAll:\tSo Paywutchyalike.\r\nLuke:\tYou want an iPhone, but you're a little too poor?\r\nSee that genius in the store?\r\nJust punch him in the biscuits! \t[*punch*]\/(Oohf!)\r\nAll:\tAnd take-wutchyalike.\t\t\t[*punch*]\/[*Wilhelm Scream*]\r\nDevo:\tNow if you had an operation, ignore the bill.\r\nAin't no way an appendix is worth a quarter-mil. \r\nPaywutchyalike. What are they gonna do,- \r\nAll:\t-put it back inside?\r\nDevo:\tNow Uncle Sam's looking for another war to fund.\r\nWhat the hell, man?  We're still payin' off the other one.\r\nPaywutchyalike. File your taxes- \r\nAll:\t-how ya like.\r\nLuke:\tThe Highway to Heaven has a ten percent toll.\r\nRepent, then risk your immortal soul,\r\nand Paywutchyalike.\r\nYo, pray how ya like.\r\nYou can confess tomorrow night.\r\nGod hates us anyway, right? Ha ha ha,\r\nJust havin' fun, y'all, and if you're diggin' this tune,\r\nkick in a couple bucks so I can buy a new Zune.\r\nAll:\tPaywutchyalike!\r\n\r\n[Chorus 3]\r\n(Ooh! I see guys and girls hagglin'. Ooh-Ooh!)\r\nDevo:\tYeah,\r\nDevo & Alex:\tPaywutchyalike\r\n(Ooh! I see guys and girls hagglin'. Ooh-Ooh!)\r\nDevo:\tYo,\r\nDevo & Luke: Take-wutchyalike.\r\nAlex:\tTake-wutchyalike!\r\n(Ooh! I see guys and girls hagglin'. Ooh-Ooh!)\r\nDevo:\tYo, screw-over-who-you-like.\r\n(Ooh! I see guys and girls hagglin'. Ooh-Ooh!)\r\nDevo:\tAll right, here we go y'all...\r\n\r\n[Bridge]\r\nDevo:\tCharge how ya like.\t\t\t\tIan:\tDo,Do,Do I want to torrent some hot \r\nTip whatchyalike.\t\t\t\t\tnerdcore, or some icy cold filk?\r\nTrade whatchyalike.\t\t\t\tLuke: \tYou can get the full length version of\r\nCommerce how ya like.\t\t\t\tthis on my Bandcamp page!\r\nCa-ching how ya like.\r\nFund wutchyalike.\t\t\t\tAlex:\tThey call me Baby Alex.\r\nSnatch wutchyalike.\t\t\t\tShoEboX:\tCameo soon by ShoEboX,\r\nBitch ifyalike.\t\t\t\t\t\t\tkeep listening folks...\r\n\r\nAlex:\tDevo, can I go online?\r\nDevo:\tSurf wutchyalike, kid.\r\n\r\n[Fade Out]","private":"0","comments":"I was on a Skype call with Luke Ski and a few other people and someone needed to pay Luke for something and he said, in his best Humpty Hump voice: \"Paywutchyalike.\" We all laughed but the idea stuck with me so a few days later I asked Luke if he wanted to do the song.<br><br>\r\n\r\nThis song was written by Devo Spice and Luke Ski (I wrote the first, like, five or so verses. Luke wrote the rest.) It also features cameos by Insane Ian, Chris Mezzolesta of Power Salad, Shoebox of Worm Quartet, and Carrie Dahlby's son Alex. Music by Bonecage, Devo Spice, and Shoebox.\r\n<br><br>\r\nFuMPhowyalike, y'all!","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2014-07-28","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:3:\"141\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"22","cover":"herp-derp-cover.jpg","url":"herp-derp-ya-dont-sterp"},{"id":"185","title":"Raise the Game","artist":"1","file":"Raise_the_Game.mp3","freemp3":"Raise_the_Game.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"49\";}","musiccredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 34\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 34\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:4:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 34\";i:2;s:3:\" 25\";i:3;s:3:\" 51\";}","guests":"a:3:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";i:1;s:3:\" 25\";i:2;s:3:\" 51\";}","lyrics":"If we can put a man on the Moon,\r\nWhy can't we all talk in speech balloons?\r\nWhy can't I poop from across the room?\r\nWhy can't I move the morning to the afternoon?\r\nToo soon for the spoon with a scoop full of doom.\r\nBetter get myself together in a new coccoon.\r\nAin't bluffin, cause nothin ever stays the same,\r\nAnd it's lookin like we're gonna have to raise the game.\r\n\r\nIf we can send Tinkertoys to Mars\r\nWhy can't I rhyme like MC Lars?\r\nWhy do we all drive these crappy cars?\r\nWhy aren't we big fat fuckin stars?\r\nYou can hunker in the bunker, you can chase the fame,\r\nGo rap at The Gap, cause it pays the same.\r\nEatin ramen like a shaman when he prays for rain,\r\nBut I'm thinkin' that we're gonna have to raise the game.\r\nEverybody in the house say raise the game!\r\nRaise the game!\r\nEverybody raise the roof now, raise the game!\r\nRaise the game!\r\nEverybody put in drywall, raise the game!\r\nRaise the game!\r\nGet the plumbing up to code now...this analogy has outlived its usefulness.\r\n\r\nIf we can make hadrons collide,\r\nWhy can't I write the next Princess Bride?\r\nWhy can't I march for Pariah Pride?\r\nWhy can't I take the end of the world in stride?\r\nIf you look really close, then you're gonna see a ghost\r\nIn the people and the places that you love the most\r\nSo before your Mama Earth decays your brain\r\nJust raise your game!\r\n\r\nThink about it, everybody here's got game,\r\nWith a pen, with a needle, with a painting in a frame,\r\nWith a meal, with a mic, with a digeridoo,\r\nIf you're in this room, then I'm talkin bout you.\r\nThere's a star by every single face and name,\r\nAll this firepower lookin for a place to aim,\r\nMore talent than all the deejays could name,\r\nSo everybody everybody raise the game!\r\n\r\n\r\nNow Deep Interstitial thoughts.\r\n\r\nIf I had a dollar for every time someone spelled my name wrong, then who the hell is giving me these dollars and how are they keeping tabs on every time someone spells my name wrong? What the hell do they want from me?!?\r\n\r\nWhat if what we think of as silence is really just the sound of a million mimes screaming in agony?\r\n\r\nIf infinite monkeys could write the entire works of Shakespeare, how many Shakespeares would it take to script one decent Curious George movie?\r\n\r\nGet loud with the crowd now, raise the game!\r\nRaise the game!\r\nLight the shirt til it hurts now, raise the game!\r\nRaise the game!\r\nTransform with a brainstorm, raise the game!\r\nRaise the game!\r\nTouch base with your headspace, raise the game!\r\nRaise the game!\r\nTake a walk through the gridlock, raise the game!\r\nRaise the game!\r\nGet primed for the paradigm, raise the game!\r\nRaise the game!\r\nTake a trip on the mothership, raise the game!\r\nRaise the game!\r\nBe a threat to the network, raise the game!\r\nRaise the game!\r\n\r\nGotta try somethin new\r\nAnd you gotta follow through.\r\nGotta prove you can move to improve what you do.\r\nMight never be a mega-superstar, it's true,\r\nBut I'm ready for the next level, how bout you?\r\n\r\n","private":"0","comments":"Rob Balder, creator of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.erfworld.com\">Erfworld<\/a>, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.partiallyclips.com\">PartiallyClips<\/a>, and this here FuMP right here, penned this song back in 2010 and <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=Baqo298v_4k\">performed it at MarsCon<\/a>.  Earlier this year Rob donated to the Kickstarter campaign for the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.loganawards.com\">Logan Whitehurst Memorial Award For Excellence in Comedy Music<\/a>... yet another thing he created.  He donated at the level to receive a commissioned song by one of the artists, and decided for his reward he wanted Shoebox and I to cover this song.  So here we are.  Thanks, Rob!  Hope you enjoy what we did to your song.  (That sounded far more sinister than it was intended.)<br><br>\r\n\r\nI programmed the drums for this song and then sent them to Shoebox who added the rest of the music.  Then we added our vocals with some background vocals by Insane Ian, the great Luke Ski, and the crowd at MarsCon, and presto.  The game has been raised.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2014-10-27","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"31","cover":"cover-up.jpg","url":"cover-up"},{"id":"186","title":"The Last Song on the Album","artist":"1","file":"The_Last_Song_on_the_Album.mp3","freemp3":"The_Last_Song_on_the_Album.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";i:1;s:3:\" 41\";i:2;s:3:\" 42\";}","guests":"a:3:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";i:1;s:3:\" 41\";i:2;s:3:\" 42\";}","lyrics":"<p>Ugh, not again.  I knew it.  There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s no avoiding it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Here come the damn<br>\r\nSleigh bells, that's the first sign, it's a warning<br>\r\nYou should probably just forget it or regret it in the morning<br>\r\nBut it's just one song, the CD must go on<br>\r\nAnd now we know for whom the sleigh bells toll, carry on<br>\r\nThis can only mean one thing, this CD is gonna <br>\r\nBring a new thing for you and me to sing<br>\r\n'Cause it's Christmas time in here, at least it's starting out to be<br>\r\nI don't mean the time of year I man the part of the CD<br>\r\n'Cause every time a song's about Christmas again<br>\r\nThere's never any warning they just stick it at the end<br>\r\nThe album should've ended with a big top wow<br>\r\nSo I won't be offended if you hit stop now<br>\r\nNo final farewell, no epic grand finale<br>\r\nNo grandiose swell around which we can all rally<br>\r\nNope, we got a somewhat bleaker way to go<br>\r\nWe'll end it with another freakin' ho ho ho<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus]<br>\r\nIt's the last song on the album<br>\r\nAnd it's gonna spread some Christmas cheer<br>\r\nWe're gonna end the CD quite festively<br>\r\nWith a song you'll only listen to once a year<br>\r\nWe're gonna break out the egg nog<br>\r\nAnd we'll deck the halls with mistletoe<br>\r\nDon't bother asking why it's the middle of July<br>\r\nJust ho, everybody, ho, everybody ho!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Who decided this was the way it had to be<br>\r\nDid the Commissioner of Christmas say that all CDs<br>\r\nHave to end with Christmas or you risk a shiny lump of coal?<br>\r\nOr did someone get a fax directly from the North Pole?<br>\r\nI don't know who was tasked with the ultimate decision<br>\r\nBut now it's yet another stupid holiday tradition<br>\r\nAt least it's not a thing that I hate in itself<br>\r\nThat fruitcake thing came from Satan himself<br>\r\nI wonder where's the worst place to put a Christmas tune<br>\r\nDo you think if it was first it would be a bit too soon?<br>\r\nWould it be less annoying, even just a little<br>\r\nIf they dropped it in (boing) randomly in the middle<br>\r\nProbably not, but they gotta put 'em somewhere<br>\r\nAnywhere, over there, hide 'em in your underwear<br>\r\nI got a thought but no one listens to me<br>\r\nWhy don't you save 'em all up and release a whole CD?<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I love you<br>\r\nRock!<br>\r\nYou're so beautiful<br>\r\nRock!<br>\r\nYou broke my heart<br>\r\nRock!<br>\r\nFa-la-la-la-laaaa, la-la-la-laa<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>So now we're stuck with it like creepy Uncle Joe<br>\r\nWe know that it is coming but don't know when it'll go<br>\r\nYou can skip it, I suppose, if it's not one of your favorites<br>\r\nIf it ever comes to blows that's why God created playlists<br>\r\nOtherwise you'll be out listening one day<br>\r\nEither early in September or perhaps a day in May<br>\r\nWhen you're at a carnival and you shout with great zeal<br>\r\n\"Merry Christmas\" to the guy standing by the Ferris Wheel<br>\r\nLike a train that derails on the line<br>\r\nIt never fails, and this is why sales are in decline<br>\r\n'Cause you play all the songs so you can't miss this<br>\r\nYou're just boppin' along and then ah crap Christmas!<br>\r\nEnding albums that way is so clich\u00c3\u00a9<br>\r\nOy vey, we really need to find a better way<br>\r\nI'll put my music where my mouth is, this is my vow<br>\r\nThat I'll never do it, um, starting now<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Merry Christmas, everybody!  Whenever that is. <br>\r\nWhether you celebrate it or not.<br>\r\nHo ho ho?<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(chorus)<br>\r\nUgh, not again.  I knew it.  There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s no avoiding it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Here come the damn<br>\r\nSleigh bells, that's the first sign, it's a warning<br>\r\nYou should probably just forget it or regret it in the morning<br>\r\nBut it's just one song, the CD must go on<br>\r\nAnd now we know for whom the sleigh bells toll, carry on<br>\r\nThis can only mean one thing, this CD is gonna <br>\r\nBring a new thing for you and me to sing<br>\r\n'Cause it's Christmas time in here, at least it's starting out to be<br>\r\nI don't mean the time of year I man the part of the CD<br>\r\n'Cause every time a song's about Christmas again<br>\r\nThere's never any warning they just stick it at the end<br>\r\nThe album should've ended with a big top wow<br>\r\nSo I won't be offended if you hit stop now<br>\r\nNo final farewell, no epic grand finale<br>\r\nNo grandiose swell around which we can all rally<br>\r\nNope, we got a somewhat bleaker way to go<br>\r\nWe'll end it with another freakin' ho ho ho<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus]<br>\r\nIt's the last song on the album<br>\r\nAnd it's gonna spread some Christmas cheer<br>\r\nWe're gonna end the CD quite festively<br>\r\nWith a song you'll only listen to once a year<br>\r\nWe're gonna break out the egg nog<br>\r\nAnd we'll deck the halls with mistletoe<br>\r\nDon't bother asking why it's the middle of July<br>\r\nJust ho, everybody, ho, everybody ho!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Who decided this was the way it had to be<br>\r\nDid the Commissioner of Christmas say that all CDs<br>\r\nHave to end with Christmas or you risk a shiny lump of coal?<br>\r\nOr did someone get a fax directly from the North Pole?<br>\r\nI don't know who was tasked with the ultimate decision<br>\r\nBut now it's yet another stupid holiday tradition<br>\r\nAt least it's not a thing that I hate in itself<br>\r\nThat fruitcake thing came from Satan himself<br>\r\nI wonder where's the worst place to put a Christmas tune<br>\r\nDo you think if it was first it would be a bit too soon?<br>\r\nWould it be less annoying, even just a little<br>\r\nIf they dropped it in (boing) randomly in the middle<br>\r\nProbably not, but they gotta put 'em somewhere<br>\r\nAnywhere, over there, hide 'em in your underwear<br>\r\nI got a thought but no one listens to me<br>\r\nWhy don't you save 'em all up and release a whole CD?<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I love you<br>\r\nRock!<br>\r\nYou're so beautiful<br>\r\nRock!<br>\r\nYou broke my heart<br>\r\nRock!<br>\r\nFa-la-la-la-laaaa, la-la-la-laa<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>So now we're stuck with it like creepy Uncle Joe<br>\r\nWe know that it is coming but don't know when it'll go<br>\r\nYou can skip it, I suppose, if it's not one of your favorites<br>\r\nIf it ever comes to blows that's why God created playlists<br>\r\nOtherwise you'll be out listening one day<br>\r\nEither early in September or perhaps a day in May<br>\r\nWhen you're at a carnival and you shout with great zeal<br>\r\n\"Merry Christmas\" to the guy standing by the Ferris Wheel<br>\r\nLike a train that derails on the line<br>\r\nIt never fails, and this is why sales are in decline<br>\r\n'Cause you play all the songs so you can't miss this<br>\r\nYou're just boppin' along and then ah crap Christmas!<br>\r\nEnding albums that way is so clich\u00c3\u00a9<br>\r\nOy vey, we really need to find a better way<br>\r\nI'll put my music where my mouth is, this is my vow<br>\r\nThat I'll never do it, um, starting now<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Merry Christmas, everybody!  Whenever that is. <br>\r\nWhether you celebrate it or not.<br>\r\nHo ho ho?<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(chorus)<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"You know how when an artist does a Christmas songs they always put them at the end of their album?  Yeah.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2014-11-26","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"22","cover":"herp-derp-cover.jpg","url":"herp-derp-ya-dont-sterp"},{"id":"187","title":"Snack Bar","artist":"1","file":"Snack_Bar.mp3","freemp3":"Snack_Bar.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"57\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"Thrift Shop by Macklemore","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"41\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"41\";}","lyrics":"<p>Jeremy: Daddy.  Daddy.  Daddy.  Daddy!  Daddy!<br>\r\nDevo: What.  What.  What?  What?  WHAT?!  WHAT DO YOU WANT?!<br>\r\nJeremy: Can I have a snack?<br>\r\nDevo: Hmmm...<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus]<br>\r\nI'm gonna pop some corn<br>\r\nGot a bag of Cheese Doodles in my pocket<br>\r\nI-I-I'm hungry, looking for some junk food<br>\r\nThis stuff's freakin' awesome<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 1]<br>\r\nI, woke up in the middle of the night to hear my stomach roar<br>\r\nI was just dreaming 'bout some snacks from the corner store<br>\r\nDrive into Wendy's, order a Frosty<br>\r\nThe clerk be like (unintelligible) <br>\r\nDon't want no healthy food, salad or a cantaloupe<br>\r\nCraving so much meat that I could barbecue an antelope<br>\r\nShoving so much food in me it'd force a lesser man to choke<br>\r\nThen I'll wash it down with an icy cold can of Coke<br>\r\n(pop open can) (drink)<br>\r\n(burp) Now that's what I mean!<br>\r\nFritos, Cheet-Os, Doritos, I'm gonna buy 'em all and eat those<br>\r\nQueso dip would be neato, goes with my bag of Tostitos<br>\r\nAll of this is gonna feed a hungry man when he's in need of<br>\r\nSomething salty to eat or some stuff to put on a pita<br>\r\nI'm-a get this bag of chips, I'm-a get this bag of chips<br>\r\nYou know what would go good with that?  Another bag of chips.<br>\r\nGoldfish and Cheese Puffs or anything that's orange<br>\r\nI could get all of it, I got plenty of storage<br>\r\nThey had a day-old donut, I bought a day-old donut<br>\r\nThen guess what I did with it, oh come on you know what<br>\r\nHello, oooh, Double Stuff is back in fashion<br>\r\nPac-Man ain't got nothing on my snacking passion<br>\r\nI could get some hot wings, those go pretty fast son<br>\r\nThe guy behind me's like \"Aw man, he got the last one\"<br>\r\n(chorus 2x)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 2]<br>\r\nWhat you know about barbecue or spicy nacho?<br>\r\nWhat you know about cool ranch or sirhacha?<br>\r\nI'm munchin', I'm crunchin', empty bags left in a pile<br>\r\nOne big mess is what I'm leaving in the aisle<br>\r\nThank the genius who created Cheez-Whiz, that gimmick<br>\r\nIs vegan, I'm pretty sure there's no organic matter in it<br>\r\nI'm at the ShopRite you can find me in the candy aisle<br>\r\nI'll go somewhere else after I stare at chocolate for a while<br>\r\nThe Hersheys, The Andes, the sweet gummy candies I'll take<br>\r\n'Em all, the plain or fancy, but you can keep that Nutter Butter<br>\r\nJust put it back 'cause I can't eat that Nutter Butter<br>\r\nI'm freakin' allergic, just leave that Nutter Butter!<br>\r\nClerk be like \"Sir, do you want paper or plastic?\"<br>\r\nAnd I'm like whoa, eighty dollars worth of junk food<br>\r\nI think I could eat up everything up on this earth, but<br>\r\nEighty dollars for this bounty, I think that was well worth it<br>\r\nI call that much better than a sandwich<br>\r\nI call that a freakin' midnight snack, bitch!<br>\r\nI forgot the cookie dough, and this tub<br>\r\nOf Jell-O Pudding's not expired, I don't like how it's looking, though<br>\r\nEat game, check out what I chow on late at night<br>\r\nTryin' to make sense of an endless appetite<br>\r\n   ...that's my appetite<br>\r\n(Jeremy: Good stuff!  Thanks Dad!  [mouth full:Yeah!])<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Now when I stuff my face<br>\r\nI'm in my happy place<br>\r\nI love the way it tastes<br>\r\nNot a crumb will go to waste (repeat)<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Brought to you by new Nabisco Shiz-Nits.  The official snack food of hip hop!<br>\r\nNabisco (Yayuh!)<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"This song is a parody of \"Thrift Shop\" by Macklemore, but of course you already knew that because Ian's song is further down the page. And yes, I'm using the same instrumental Ian did. No reason not to. But my song features Chris Mezzolesta of Power Salad and a special cameo by my son Jeremy.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2014-11-26","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:3:\"141\";}","listen":"1","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"shiz-nitz.jpg","albumId":"22","cover":"herp-derp-cover.jpg","url":"herp-derp-ya-dont-sterp"},{"id":"188","title":"There's A Platypus Controlling Me","artist":"1","file":"Theres_a_Platypus_Controlling_Me.mp3","freemp3":"Theres_a_Platypus_Controlling_Me.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";i:1;s:3:\" 41\";i:2;s:3:\" 58\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2014-11-28","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"31","cover":"cover-up.jpg","url":"cover-up"},{"id":"188","title":"There's A Platypus Controlling Me","artist":"1","file":"Theres_a_Platypus_Controlling_Me.mp3","freemp3":"Theres_a_Platypus_Controlling_Me.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";i:1;s:3:\" 41\";i:2;s:3:\" 58\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2014-11-28","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"22","cover":"herp-derp-cover.jpg","url":"herp-derp-ya-dont-sterp"},{"id":"189","title":"To Date a Klingon","artist":"1","file":"To_Date_a_Klingon.mp3","freemp3":"To_Date_a_Klingon.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2012-12-14","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"22","cover":"herp-derp-cover.jpg","url":"herp-derp-ya-dont-sterp"},{"id":"190","title":"Tone Loc Gets Arrested for Domestic Battery","artist":"1","file":"Tone_Loc_Gets_Arrested_for_Domestic_Battery.mp3","freemp3":"Tone_Loc_Gets_Arrested_for_Domes.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"57\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"Funky Cold Medina\" by Tone Loc","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2014-11-16","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"22","cover":"herp-derp-cover.jpg","url":"herp-derp-ya-dont-sterp"},{"id":"191","title":"Lotta Bodies","artist":"1","file":"Lotta_Bodies.mp3","freemp3":"Lotta_Bodies.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"La-Di-Da-Di\" by Doug E. Fresh and Slick Rick","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";}","lyrics":"OK, everybody listen up<br>\r\nYou're going to have to do things you've never had to do before<br>\r\nYes, I'm talking about doing what we need to do to survive<br>\r\nAnd I'll show you how.  I'm the Sheriff Rick Grimes, Grimes<br>\r\nAnd I'm here at the end of times<br>\r\nAnd I'm gonna show you what we need to do to stay alive, alright?<br>\r\nBecause um, I got a funny feeling, um<br>\r\nYou're all sick of all these damn walkers<br>\r\nTrying to bite you like some creepy stalker<br>\r\nBut when it comes to me, Glenn, and Daryl here<br>\r\nWe hunt 'em all down like a cat that is feral here<br>\r\nSo try to keep up, and keep your head<br>\r\nAnd realize that we are the walking dead<br>\r\nSo listen close, so you all don't miss<br>\r\nAs we go a little something like this, hit it!<br>\r\n<br>\r\nAw man, you know what?<br>\r\nThere are a lot of bodies around here<br>\r\nLotta bodies<br>\r\nCarl!<br>\r\nCARL!<br>\r\n<br>\r\nYou know what?  Now there's a <br>\r\nLotta bodies, walking and rotting<br>\r\nWe don't have watchers, we don't use no karate, we're<br>\r\nJust some men against the dead<br>\r\nAnd when the walkers are a threat we bash their damn heads<br>\r\nFor all o' y'all this is all that's left<br>\r\nAs you can see the planet is completely effed<br>\r\nAnd it's true that we're not in top physical condition, but<br>\r\nWe never seem to run out of ammunition<br>\r\nSo listen, to my little song<br>\r\nAnd I'll tell you how I managed to survive for this long<br>\r\nI woke up in a hospital one morning<br>\r\nAnd took of that stupid-ass gown I was adorning<br>\r\nWent to the hallway, heard a sound<br>\r\nI had looked every place but there was nobody around<br>\r\nI said um, what's this writing that I spied?<br>\r\nWhy does it say there are dead inside?<br>\r\nThere was a lot of groaning, and a scene that was gory<br>\r\nSo I said, m-kay, time to find my wife Lori<br>\r\n<br>\r\nI walked home, and saw my first walker up ahead<br>\r\nBut then another guy appeared and just shot him in the head<br>\r\nHe said his name was Morgan and his son was Duane<br>\r\nAnd told me that the dead are back to eat our brains<br>\r\nChew on our flesh and rip off our face<br>\r\nSuck the crap from our intestines leaving nothing but a trace<br>\r\nCleaned up at the Sheriff's office for an hour<br>\r\nFound some ammunition and hot water for a shower<br>\r\nThen Morgan's dead wife came back home<br>\r\nSo I took off for Atlanta to try to find my own<br>\r\nOutside, riding a surviving horse<br>\r\nStraight through to Atlanta and I stayed the course<br>\r\nStepped off the horse, stopped short, oh no!<br>\r\nA hundred-thousand walkers all out to see a show<br>\r\nAnd I met Glenn, (Carol), Merle, Dale, and (Daryl)<br>\r\nI found my wife Lori and (Carl!) my son (Carl!)<br>\r\nMy partner Shane and her had an affair<br>\r\nThey thought I was dead, so I didn't really care, I said<br>\r\nYou all should come with me<br>\r\nDown to the CDC<br>\r\nThey've got a plan, and now<br>\r\nI'm sure that they'll help if they can<br>\r\nOr so I thought<br>\r\nTurns out it was for naught<br>\r\n'Cause that one guy blew it all to<br>\r\nHell<br>\r\nNow what was I to do?<br>\r\nWe had to find a place that was safe for my crew<br>\r\nI said don't fret, we ain't dead yet<br>\r\nBut then Carl got shot and we rushed him to the vet<br>\r\nOtis ran to Hershel who didn't mean no harm<br>\r\nMet Maggie and Beth and the rest all on the farm<br>\r\nThey weren't killing walkers they were feeding them instead<br>\r\nFound Sophia in the Barn of the Dead<br>\r\nA herd came strong, the farm was gone<br>\r\nWe had to move on, or we wouldn't last long<br>\r\nWe came upon a prison and figured we would love it here, and<br>\r\nAndrea found a place run by the Gov","private":"0","comments":"If you're not caught up on The Walking Dead this song contains some pretty massive spoilers.\r\n<br><br>\r\nA few weeks ago while painting our basement with my wife my brain wandered enough to realize that \"Lotta Bodies\" sounds a lot like \"La-Di-Da-Di.\" And after I realized that the lead rapper in that song is Slick Rick, and Rick is also the name of the lead character on The Walking Dead, I figured I had to do this.\r\n<br><br>\r\nThis song summarizes the first few seasons of The Walking Dead, so if you're not caught up, I'm sorry. If you've never watched the show, and\/or never heard the original song, then this probably won't make whole lot of sense to you. But trust me, to me and Luke, this is hilarious.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2015-06-29","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"192","title":"Put It Away","artist":"1","file":"Put_It_Away.mp3","freemp3":"Put_It_Away.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"61\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"Give It Away\" by Red Hot Chili Peppers","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"61\";}","lyrics":"Well you got to got to pick up all your toys now\r\nYes you've got to, all you girls and all you boys now\r\nPlus you got to stop making so much noise now\r\n?Because I said so? is one of life?s joys now\r\nWell you got to pick 'em up and fold your clothes now\r\nWell you got to got to put it where it goes now\r\nWell you got to get your finger out your nose now\r\nAnd throw out whatever's on this dish before it grows now\r\nRealize I don't wanna be a monster\r\nI know you hate cleaning, nobody wants to\r\nPut away all your balls and your blocks too\r\nPick up all your shirts and your pants and your socks too!\r\n\r\nPut it away! Put it away! Put it away, now!\r\nPut it away! Put it away! Put it away, now!\r\nPut it away! Put it away! Put it away, now!\r\nI keep saying this every damn day now!\r\n\r\nGreedy little bastards always wanting more stuff\r\nA whole toy store wouldn't have enough stuff\r\nBuy all the things 'cause they adore stuff\r\nThen they bored and they take apart your stuff\r\nLook at all these toys, all plastic and day-glo\r\nThere's enough here to fill a Winnebago\r\nPick 'em up and put 'em all where they go\r\nI'd rather step on hot coals... than Lego\r\nTransformers, dressed up like a drag queen\r\nTransformers, posing so its obscene\r\nTransformers, why're they fuzzy and green?\r\nI'll transform them into garbage if you don't clean!\r\n\r\nPut it away! Put it away! Put it away, now!\r\nPut it away! Put it away! Put it away, now!\r\nPut it away! Put it away! Put it away, now!\r\n(kids shouting: Awww!  I don't wanna!)\r\n\r\nPut it away! Put it away! Put it away, now!\r\nPut it away! Put it away! Put it away, now!\r\nPut it away! Put it away! Put it away, now!\r\nHow did that stain get so high up on the wall now!?\r\n\r\nOver here is a scene from that movie, Saw\r\nMade from tinker toys, Barbies, two Wuzzles, and a bra\r\nHad a drink you threw out but you kept the straw?\r\nGot a pile of paper, and THAT'S where you decide to draw?!\r\nMy God, the smell here leaves me reeling\r\nLeaving me with an uneasy feeling\r\nSomething on the back of the dog is congealing\r\nWhy is there a juice box stuck to the ceiling?\r\nThere's a shower but it looks like a trashed tomb\r\nClean it up or you're gonna feel my wrath soon\r\nKeep the poop in the toilet, yes you have to!\r\nCome on everybody, at least keep it in the bathroom!\r\n\r\nPut it away! Put it away! Put it away, now!\r\nPut it away! Put it away! Put it away, now!\r\nPut it away! Put it away! Put it away, now!\r\nNo you can't just pile it in the corner!\r\n\r\nWell you got to got to pick up all your toys now\r\nYes you've got to, all you girls and all you boys now\r\nPlus you got to stop making so much noise now\r\n?Because I said so? is one of life?s joys now\r\nWell you got to pick 'em up and fold your clothes now\r\nWell you got to got to put it where it goes now\r\nWell you got to get your finger out your nose now\r\nAnd throw out whatever's on this dish before it grows now\r\nRealize there's no stopping until we're through\r\nI don't like cleaning either but we need to\r\nWe should get a Roomba like R2-D2\r\nHurry up and finish before Mommy yells at me too!\r\n\r\nPut it away! Put it away! Put it away, now!\r\nPut it away! Put it away! Put it away, now!\r\nPut it away! Put it away! Put it away, now!\r\nPut it away! Put it away! Put it away, now!\r\n\r\nPut-it-away!  Now!  Come on!  Let's go!\r\n\r\nPUT! IT! AWAY!","private":"0","comments":"There are a lot of things I love about being a parent. Getting my kids to clean is not among them. That usually results in me yelling at them to pick up individual toys, repeating myself, screaming, and repeating myself.<br><br>\r\n\r\nDuring one such screaming\/cleaning match this song idea popped into my head, and I spent the rest of the cleaning session alternately yelling at them and giggling to myself.<br><br>\r\n\r\nAll three of my kids appear on this song in the background doing some very convincing whining, yelling, and fighting. I'm hoping that now, for future cleaning sessions, I can just put this song on and play it at high volume rather than yelling at them to pick up their toys.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2015-08-13","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"193","title":"Dinky McDiddlyboots","artist":"1","file":"Dinky_McDiddlyboots.mp3","freemp3":"Dinky_McDiddlyboots.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"<p>I'm a Hip Hop maven, rhymes that I'm cravin'<br>\r\nBeard with the lines that I'm shavin'<br>\r\nWeird, but at times I'm amazin', not to be<br>\r\nFeared, but sometimes I think I'm kinda crazy<br>\r\nLazy, sit around the house eatin' popcorn<br>\r\nMouse button clickin' on a picture full of hot porn<br>\r\nPickin' up laundry, fold what is not torn<br>\r\nFind a pair of underwear there that I've not worn<br>\r\nGot a name that the rap game gave me<br>\r\nCrowds shout it loud while they clap and are raving<br>\r\nProud of the rowdiness happening daily<br>\r\nCloud-nine rhymes 'cause I'm frakkin' amazing<br>\r\nTill one day when a strange man changed it<br>\r\nWilled his way and his brain now reigns it<br>\r\nChains my name to this wack identity<br>\r\nWhile he's out back playing Pac-Man and Centipede<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>My name is Dinky McDiddlyboots<br>\r\nMy music is plinky and Ritalin-fused<br>\r\nNed Flanders thinks in \"diddly-doos\"<br>\r\nBut I'm MC Dinky McDiddlyboots<br>\r\nMy name is Dinky McDiddlyboots<br>\r\nMy music is plinky and Ritalin-fused<br>\r\nPac-Man eats Inky and Blinky and fruits<br>\r\nBut I'm MC Dinky McDiddlyboots<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Now I gotta make changes to everything<br>\r\nEvery song's wrong so the files will never ping<br>\r\nMiles of lyrics to compile with a clever string<br>\r\nWhile I clear it with Google and even Bing<br>\r\nAnd because of this stupid jerk I have to <br>\r\nUpdate all my paperwork, great, now I'm late for work<br>\r\nName on my licenses changed to reflect it<br>\r\nDrivers, marriage, and bikini inspector's<br>\r\nMy whole life's turned upside-down<br>\r\nI obliged this clown and my wife skipped town<br>\r\nAnd I found at work they would leave me out of meetings<br>\r\nBut call me all day to play voicemail greetings<br>\r\nThis may be his crowning achievement<br>\r\nI'm drowning in spite but I try to be lenient<br>\r\nI've seen it, this may sound trite but I mean it<br>\r\nThis really is quite inconvenient<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>My name is Dinky McDiddlyboots<br>\r\nMy music is plinky and Ritalin-fused<br>\r\nNed Flanders thinks in \"diddly-doos\"<br>\r\nBut I'm MC Dinky McDiddlyboots<br>\r\nMy name is Dinky McDiddlyboots<br>\r\nMy music is plinky and Ritalin-fused<br>\r\nShoebox is a big mean stinkety poop<br>\r\nNow I'm MC Dinky McDiddlyboots<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"In September of 2015 Tim Crist, aka Shoebox of Worm Quartet, posted the following to my wall on Facebook:<br><br>\r\n\r\n<i>Your name is now Dinky McDiddlyboots. I apologize for any inconvenience.<\/i><br><br>\r\n\r\nWhat followed was a brief discussion about the possibilities of rhymes for my new name and what could be done in a song.  This is what I ultimately came up with.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2015-10-21","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"1","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"dinky-mcdiddlyboots-song-art.jpg","albumId":"30","cover":"the-anarchists-jokebook-1280.jpg","url":"the-anarchists-jokebook"},{"id":"194","title":"My Little Pwnage","artist":"1","file":"My_Little_Pwnage.mp3","freemp3":"My_Little_Pwnage.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"62\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"62\";}","lyrics":"<p>My little pony<br>\r\nMy little pony<br>\r\nAh ah ah ah<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus]<br>\r\nMy little pony<br>\r\nI used to wonder what this show was about<br>\r\nMy little pony<br>\r\nUntil the day I had to check it out<br>\r\nMy little pony<br>\r\nAnd to its awesomeness I can now vouch<br>\r\nMy little pony<br>\r\nI can't get up 'cause now I'm one with the couch<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 1]<br>\r\n  I once heard of the \"brony\"<br>\r\nA grown-ass man who watches My Little Pony<br>\r\nMy own ass would never think the bronies were real<br>\r\n'Cause I didn't really ever see the pony appeal<br>\r\n  And then I heard of the cons<br>\r\nA deranged group of nerds with their strange goings on <br>\r\nI don?t deeply understand what goes on in that world<br>\r\nAll these creepy older men hanging out with little girls<br>\r\n (eww) But I was wrong with my assumptions, well<br>\r\nI don't think they're being sold off for slavery or something<br>\r\nNo, there's a guy with his daughter and wife<br>\r\nHe's dressed as Pinkie Pie, having the time of his life<br>\r\n (huh) Maybe it is a good show<br>\r\nThe guy swears by it so I really should know<br>\r\nI started watching with the guys that Friday, then soon<br>\r\nI looked up and realized it was Monday afternoon<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 2]<br>\r\n  In the land of Equestria<br>\r\nLive six pretty ponies and Princess Celestia<br>\r\nWho share with all their friends the good times they've had<br>\r\nAnd it's almost as intense as Breaking Bad<br>\r\n Twilight Sparkle is the new girl in town<br>\r\nReporting back to the Princess all the gossip around<br>\r\n Rainbow Dash can fly high in the sky<br>\r\nSo if it rains on your wedding day, now you know why<br>\r\n Pinkie Pie tends to get the great quips<br>\r\nBut friends this is why you shouldn't eat paint chips<br>\r\n Fluttershy is like the Pony Whisperer<br>\r\n'Cause she gets other animals to only listen to her<br>\r\n Need a dress? Rarity can make it<br>\r\nWhich is odd 'cause the ponies almost always go naked<br>\r\n And Applejack'll harvest all the fruit she can, though<br>\r\nI never trust a girl who solves a problem with a banjo<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Kindness<br>\r\nLaughter<br>\r\nGenerosity<br>\r\nHonesty<br>\r\nLoyalty<br>\r\nMagic<br>\r\nProfit!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n\r\n<p><\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 3]<br>\r\n  And now I can't get enough<br>\r\nSo enchanted that I watch it while I do other stuff<br>\r\nLike on my day at the gym, or when I play on some teams<br>\r\nOr when I do it pony-style with the girl of my dreams<br>\r\n  This show has so many layers<br>\r\nDon't listen to the dissers 'cause they're just neigh-sayers<br>\r\nDon't hate the players, don't even pay 'em no mind<br>\r\nNow I'm off to get a cutie mark tattoo on my behind<br>\r\n   Friendship really is magic<br>\r\nAnd if you don't believe that, that really is tragic<br>\r\nIt's not an illusion like the usual phony<br>\r\nStuff from The Great and Powerful Trixie, or David Copperpony<br>\r\n  So now I'm gonna holler<br>\r\n'Til I'm Guest of Honor at the Grand Galloping Galla<br>\r\nYou should come see me soon and I'm-a yell for ya<br>\r\nAt my upcoming gig in Phillydelphia<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[end chorus]<br>\r\nMy little pony<br>\r\nI used the Elements of Harmony to write this song<br>\r\nMy little pony<br>\r\nAnd if you don't like this show, well you're just wrong<br>\r\nMy little pony<br>\r\nI can marathon the show from beginning to end<br>\r\nMy little pony<br>\r\nDon't you know you are my very best friend?<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"For a long time I've been hearing about \"bronies,\" adult men who watch My Little Pony - Friendship is Magic. I actually know a couple. But for some reason I never tried watching the show.<br><br>\r\n\r\nFast forward to one of my Kickstarter campaigns where I offered to record songs on any topic for a certain amount of money and one of the guys who pledged at that level wanted a song about My Little Pony. So guess what I had to watch?<br><br>\r\n\r\nAnd you know what? It's a freakin' fantastic show. I haven't actually seen all of it yet, but I will eventually.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2016-01-28","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"195","title":"Nothin' But Truth","artist":"1","file":"Nothin_But_Truth.mp3","freemp3":"Nothin_But_Truth.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"61\";i:1;s:2:\" 1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 61\";}","parodyof":"Nothin' But You by B.o.B","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"61\";}","lyrics":"<p>[chorus 1]<br>\r\nBeautiful girls, all over the world<br>\r\nAre really from space here, they're an alien race here<br>\r\nThis is nothin' but truth, baby<br>\r\nNothin' but truth, baby<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 1]<br>\r\nI know this may be a big surprise<br>\r\nRegardless of the truth that is right before your eyes<br>\r\nBut alien reptiles run the left wing<br>\r\nAnd the government's covered up every damn thing<br>\r\nAnd you may laugh at my tin foil hat<br>\r\nBut I can prove to you that the earth is flat<br>\r\nJust take a good look at the moon, man<br>\r\nAnd you'll see that it's really nothing but a hologram<br>\r\nThere's so much nonsense in all these concepts<br>\r\nThat people just accept as fact, <br>\r\nLike the existence of kale, daily mail<br>\r\nCan't you see this is all an act?<br>\r\nTo prepare us for the pending alien attack<br>\r\nBy conditioning us to serve 'em Big Macs<br>\r\nAnd constantly eat a ton of salty snacks<br>\r\n(The aliens like their food salty)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus 2]<br>\r\nRobotic squirrels, reptilian girls<br>\r\nWere already placed here right in front of your face here<br>\r\nThis is nothin' but truth, baby<br>\r\nNothin' but truth, baby<br>\r\nThey have been here, for thousands of years<br>\r\nBut hey now don't sweat it, just keep spending on credit<br>\r\nThis is nothin' but truth, baby<br>\r\nNothin' but truth, baby<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 2]<br>\r\nI'm astounded that folks don't uncover stuff<br>\r\nI've been around and I've seen all the cover-ups<br>\r\nI mean it's not like the government hides it well<br>\r\nObama's a lizard, you can clearly tell<br>\r\nNow they're breaking down border, killing reporters<br>\r\nTracking everybody with the chips in their quarters<br>\r\nYou are just a pawn in their New World Order<br>\r\nStop!  Now think about it<br>\r\nThey're spraying London, spraying Paris<br>\r\nSpraying chemtrails everywhere<br>\r\nThey spray every country except Norway<br>\r\nBecause Norway was never there<br>\r\nAnd for that matter neither is Delaware<br>\r\nOh don't act like you weren't aware<br>\r\nWhen's the last time you met someone from Delaware<br>\r\nSee?  See?!  Huh?!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus 3]<br>\r\nAll those food stamps, that we all pay for<br>\r\nAre laced with some drugs to sterilize all the poor<br>\r\nThis is nothin' but truth, baby<br>\r\nNothin' but truth, baby<br>\r\nPoisonous snow, that just wouldn't melt<br>\r\nWas dumped over Georgia and the whole Bible Belt<br>\r\nThis is nothin' but truth, baby<br>\r\nNothin' but truth, baby<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 3]<br>\r\nEverywhere I go, I encounter something new<br>\r\nAnd I only say this, to enlighten all of you<br>\r\nSo let me show you the truth, as I host my own panel<br>\r\nOn my brand new show, on the History Channel!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus 4]<br>\r\nBeautiful girls, all over the world<br>\r\nAre robots they gave us that are here to enslave us<br>\r\nThis is nothin' but truth, baby<br>\r\nNothin' but truth, baby<br>\r\nElvis is alive, and so's JFK<br>\r\nAnd they're fighting mummies in their rest home today<br>\r\nThis is nothin' but truth, baby<br>\r\nNothin' but truth, baby<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[announcer]<br>\r\nComing up on Nothin' But Truth, the Gates of Hell open beneath Denver International Airport.  We'll tell you where to go and what restaurants to avoid during your layover.  And our special report on Cabbage Patch Dolls.  Do they resemble what mutant children will look like after a nuclear holocaust?  And, are you posting pictures on Facebook for Throwback Thursday?  Then you're allowing the NSA to catalog photographs that were taken before Facebook existed.  Don't post another picture until you see our special report.  Stay tuned to The History Channel.  Your source for the real truth.<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>Rapper B.o.B made headlines in January of 2016 when he went on a Twitter rant about how the earth is flat. Neil deGrasse Tyson chimed in and hilarity ensued. I wondered what other ridiculous conspiracy theories he may believe and put some of them in this parody of one of his songs.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Big thank you to Bonecage for the music and the awesome Bruno Mars-like singing.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>And remember, people. There are no secret government root kits in this MP3 file that will will install themselves into your brain so they can read your mind. No, really. There aren't. Why would you even think that? I assure you this MP3 file is perfectly safe to listen to.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2016-04-25","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"30","cover":"the-anarchists-jokebook-1280.jpg","url":"the-anarchists-jokebook"},{"id":"212","title":"Carnival of Monsters","artist":"1","file":"Carnival_of_Monsters.mp3","freemp3":"Carnival_of_Monsters.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>Look up at the stars.  Think of the sheer vastness of space, and just imagine how many life forms there are.  But what are the odds of them ever finding Earth?  Pretty slim actually.  That's why most scientists think we'll never be visited.  But what do they know?<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Take a look at the stars, look out far beyond Mars<br>\r\nAnd just think of all the planets and the life forms there are<br>\r\nWith all the vastness of space, when they can go any place<br>\r\nWhy do they all want to destroy the human race?  hmm?<br>\r\nThe Nestene is a mass that wants to do something drastic<br>\r\nIt can make a living creature out of anything plastic<br>\r\nSo Barbie and Ken turn into Autons and then<br>\r\nSneak in your bedroom and then try to kill your family again<br>\r\nThey'll attack you with glee, and the panic will be<br>\r\nAlmost as bad as if they made the movie Mannequin 3<br>\r\nSo if you see 'em misbehave, grab a knife and be brave<br>\r\nAnd make sure your wife's toys are locked away somewhere safe<br>\r\nThe Sontarans are sore because they've been in a war<br>\r\nFor over 50,000 years and yet they clamor for more<br>\r\nSo their armies will spread, causing tons of bloodshed<br>\r\nLike some pissed off Mister Potato Heads<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(chorus)<br>\r\nWe fight the Autons, the Sontarans<br>\r\nAnd the Silurians, and a band of Ice Warriors<br>\r\nThe Yeti, the Sea Devils<br>\r\nAnd the Macra, and the Ood and even Dinosaurs<br>\r\nSilence, The Weeping Angels<br>\r\nAnd the Master, and an army of Cybermen<br>\r\nThe Mara, and the Zygons<br>\r\nAnd we defeat them all, and then the Daleks invade again<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>It's like they've all taken a number and are patiently waiting in line to attack the earth.<br>\r\n*ding* Now serving number 37.  Number 37? *ding*<br>\r\n(Cyberman): Delete!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>The Cybermen are a pain, perfection they will attain<br>\r\nThey're a robotic body with a neurotic human brain<br>\r\nSo you'll be better off avoiding them at all costs<br>\r\nThey're upgrades are more painful than Microsoft's <br>\r\nSilurians were here before humanity appeared<br>\r\nBut they've been hibernating for about a hundred million years<br>\r\nKill without warning, if that fills you with scorn then<br>\r\nJust remember how cranky you can be in the morning<br>\r\nIf you see a disaster spreading faster and faster<br>\r\nThe man you'll find behind it likely will be the Master<br>\r\nA fellow Time Lord, sort of family but more<br>\r\nLike an uncle at Thanksgiving you can't take anymore<br>\r\nIt may seem pretty grim, and it'll be sink or swim<br>\r\nBut the Doctor's got it easy 'cause they bring the fight to him<br>\r\nWhile he's trapped on the ground, stuck in UNIT's compound <br>\r\nWho needs the TARDIS when you've got Bessie to get around?<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Katy: I've always been partial to the Daleks myself.<br>\r\nDalek: You are an enemy of the Daleks!<br>\r\nDevo: Well no, not really.<br>\r\nDalek: You will be exterminated!<br>\r\nDevo: You don't have to, you know.<br>\r\nDalek: Exterminate!<br>\r\nDevo: No, wait!<br>\r\nmultiple Daleks: Exterminate!  Exterminate!<br>\r\nDevo: No... uh, I know, yes, he already said that.<br>\r\nmultiple Daleks: Exterminate!  Exterminate!<br>\r\nDevo: Well...  no, I mean.. wait\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6 Alright!<br>\r\n(Daleks stop)<br>\r\nDevo: I get it! You're going to exterminate me!  Fine!  Got it!<br>\r\nDalek: Well as long as we are clear.<br>\r\n*zap*<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>The Daleks evolved to be the fiercest of all<br>\r\nNo matter what the Doctor can't seem to get rid of them all<br>\r\nAlways having a plan, they're a mutated clan<br>\r\nLike a homicidal squid in a rolling garbage can<br>\r\nIn their early affairs it almost didn't seem fair<br>\r\nTo get away all you did was just go up a couple stairs<br>\r\nBut now they can levitate, so they can exterminate<br>\r\nThey should be working for the Orkin man if he's so great<br>\r\nThere'll be no fighting back when the Zygons attack ya<br>\r\nWhen you see the giant crabs you'll yell \"Holy Macara!\"<br>\r\nThey attack without pity, from Loch Ness to the Yeti<br>\r\nAnd if you see some giant maggots then you better get ready<br>\r\nSo why's there so much interest in the earth from such a distance?<br>\r\nIs it 'cause they think humanity won't offer much resistance?<br>\r\nNo, it's just the fact that we are using human actors<br>\r\nSo where the show's produced is a factor<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>The 3rd Doctor was stranded on Earth for much of his run after the Time Lords took away his knowledge of time travel and forced him to regenerate.  As such the monsters had to come to him.  This is a song dedicated to all the various aliens, monsters, and whatchamacallits that The Doctor has faced over the years.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>The chorus of this song is sung by Katy Manning, who played the 3rd Doctor's companion Jo Grant.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"26","cover":"i-am-the-doctor-cover.jpg","url":"i-am-the-doctor"},{"id":"196","title":"The Comedy-Music Life","artist":"1","file":"The_Comedy-Music_Life.mp3","freemp3":"The_Comedy-Music_Life.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"41\";i:1;s:3:\" 51\";}","guests":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"41\";i:1;s:3:\" 51\";}","lyrics":"<p>Yeah!  This is a story you won't see on Cribs!  Or Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous!  Maybe Hoarders.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Big-time rapper, I'm a legend in the game<br>\r\nLike that guy from Mega-Man 2, what's his name?<br>\r\nYou know the one with the bubbles, ah whatever, I digress<br>\r\nI'm the best funny rapper 'cause I'm better than the rest<br>\r\nDevo Spice is the name to remember<br>\r\nNot a Spice Girl, no I was never a member<br>\r\nWith an old school flow I can bring the heat<br>\r\nThat means I don't mumble and I rap on the beat<br>\r\nFor the nerds and the muggles, yo, I'm rockin' a sound<br>\r\nBig fish in a puddle now I'm floppin' around<br>\r\nCountin' up my money, that's when I realize<br>\r\nI got enough that I can supersize my fries<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(chorus)<br>\r\n'Cause I'm living that life<br>\r\nThe comedy-music life<br>\r\nYeah, I'm living that life<br>\r\nThe comedy-music life<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I've toured everywhere from the east to the west<br>\r\nAnd my guide on the Jungle Cruise Ride was the best<br>\r\nDo you know how I know my career's gonna last?<br>\r\nI'm the number one artist on my uncle's podcast<br>\r\nComedy-rap is kind of a niche<br>\r\nSo finding new fans is kind of a bitch<br>\r\nBut I got fans all around the whole world, I maintain<br>\r\nThat there's two in California and at least one in Spain<br>\r\nI brought enough CDs for everyone at the show<br>\r\nTo buy multiple copies, so come on, let's go<br>\r\nAnd you know few artists can do this, so I'm proud<br>\r\nThat I can name everybody in the crowd<br>\r\n[chorus]<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Comedy clubs don't want music and so<br>\r\nI go to music clubs to put on a comedy show<br>\r\nBut they don't want that so I try at conventions<br>\r\nBut rappers in filk circles just raise tensions<br>\r\nBut I won't be stopped, no way I can lose<br>\r\nNow this YouTube video has over seventy views<br>\r\nI'm a legend in the comedy-rap world of the weird<br>\r\nOver-forty-from-New-Jersey-rappers-with-a-red-beard<br>\r\nOn my throne I'm the king of everything all around<br>\r\nBut when I get up and flush it doesn't always go down<br>\r\nI hit the town in a car that I got such a great deal<br>\r\nPimpin' three-wheel motion 'cause I'm missing a wheel<br>\r\nI can't sit down because my wallet's so fat<br>\r\nGot so many receipts crammed into that<br>\r\nSpending so much money day in and day out<br>\r\nThat my credit cards are mostly maxed out<br>\r\n[chorus]<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Clerk: Sir....  Sir!... SIR!   Excuse me, sir!!  That's nice and all, but if you don't tell me what you want to order I'll have to ask you to leave.  You're holding up the drive-thru.<br>\r\nDevo: Oh, sorry.  Yeah, um, let me have a number seven.<br>\r\nClerk: What do you want to drink?<br>\r\nDevo: Diet Coke.<br>\r\nClerk: OK, do you want to super-size that?<br>\r\nDevo: Hell yeah I wanna super size that!  You know why?<br>\r\nClerk: Oh no'<br>\r\n[chorus]<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"A lot of people have asked me what it's like to be a bit-time Dementia star. Well, this is pretty much it.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2016-06-27","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"30","cover":"the-anarchists-jokebook-1280.jpg","url":"the-anarchists-jokebook"},{"id":"197","title":"The Laundromat of Sin","artist":"1","file":"The_Laundromat_of_Sin.mp3","freemp3":"The_Laundromat_of_Sin.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"34\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"The anti-fish from dildoland\r\nIs marching down a mucus strand\r\nThat leads from Falco to Ayn Rand\r\nWith stops at Chad and Spain\r\nWhile nine fat popes and two wet Jews\r\nGuffaw and grunt and fill their loos\r\nWith milk squeezed from their underoos\r\nAnd carbonated pain\r\n\r\nA riboflavin travestry\r\nGoes up and down the tapestry\r\nThat graces my new haggis tree\r\nBy cowlight and bi-nightly\r\nAnd Christ the cumquat troubadour\r\nHas stapled omelettes to the floor\r\nAnd burned the bush from every whore\r\nWhose curtains were unsightly\r\n\r\nAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!\r\nAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!\r\nAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!\r\nAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!\r\n\r\nA pox upon the vomit king\r\nWho brandished forth his ding-a-ling\r\nAnd then defiled everything\r\nWith Casios and roses\r\nA pox upon the lying lips\r\nThat promised me fried paperclips\r\nFor now I'm eating beggin' strips\r\nAnd shacking up with Moses\r\n\r\nA pox upon this stupid song\r\nWhich sounds too dumb and lasts too long\r\nAs od'rous as a sumo's thong\r\nAnd worse with every stanza\r\nA pox upon the nipple tree\r\nThat I've been growing rectally\r\nSince long division and E.T.\r\nHad sex with Tony Danza\r\n\r\nAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!\r\nAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!\r\nAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!\r\nAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!\r\n\r\nBony butter children sit and stare\r\nAt a shredded Hustler reduced to porn specks\r\nBut there's nothing in my underwear\r\nThat can't be found in a box of Corn Chex\r\n\r\nAnd in the laundromat of sin\r\nYour soul is dry, but your socks are burning\r\nDid you wash your pants in rancid yogurt?\r\nCuz it sure smells like the Tide is turning now\r\n\r\nA screeching wad of camel bile\r\nIs hurtling glumly down the aisle\r\nAnd genuflecting all the while\r\nLike Nerfuls at a totem\r\nAnd traipsing through the wiggling sod\r\nA sentient screaming curtain rod\r\nAs subtle as a cattle prod\r\nDelivered to the scrotum\r\n\r\nThe holy mane of Mr. T\r\nWas eaten by calligraphy\r\nServed with a side of sodomy\r\nAnd doom and gloom and presage\r\nSo graft potatoes to your brain\r\nAnd lubricate a whooping crane\r\nHello there, I'm John McCain\r\nAnd I approve this message\r\n\r\nAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!\r\nAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!\r\nAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!\r\nAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!\r\n\r\nAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!\r\nAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!\r\nAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!\r\nAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!\r\n\r\nAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!","private":"0","comments":"Every year at MarsCon we have an event called the Dementia Smackdown where artists perform covers of other comedy songs.  This was what I performed at MarsCon in 2016.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2016-06-26","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"31","cover":"cover-up.jpg","url":"cover-up"},{"id":"198","title":"Stranger Things","artist":"1","file":"Stranger_Things.mp3","freemp3":"Stranger_Things.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";i:1;s:3:\" 41\";}","guests":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";i:1;s:3:\" 41\";}","lyrics":"<p>Now let me tell you a story that's kind of weird<br>\r\nAbout my best friend Will who disappeared<br>\r\nSo just sit back now and you will see<br>\r\nJust how things went down back in '83<br>\r\n...uh huh huh<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Well we were at my house playing D&D<br>\r\nIt was Will, Lucas, Dustin, and me<br>\r\nThe campaign I ran left 'em shaken and scared<br>\r\nWhen out of nowhere a monster appeared<br>\r\nWho said \"I'm sorry, Mike, all your friends have to leave\"<br>\r\nCome on, Mom, just twenty minutes, please?<br>\r\nBut no, she said we had to end the game<br>\r\nAnd that was the end of our great campaign<br>\r\nEverybody left all alone, if you're stunned<br>\r\nIt was 1983, that's just how it was done<br>\r\nWe've never had a problem before, it's true<br>\r\nBut on Will's journey he rolled a two<br>\r\nHe never made it home, though I should mention<br>\r\nHe was at the right house, just the wrong dimension<br>\r\nBecause a tall monster-I didn't know we had those<br>\r\nBrought Will back to the Veil of Shadows<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus]<br>\r\nWill's gone missing, that's why I'm rappin'<br>\r\nA monster is loose, we need to trap him<br>\r\nI'm sure that stranger things have happened<br>\r\nBut I don't know when, I really don't know when<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>We all went out to search for Will<br>\r\nPast the road by his house in the woods on the hill<br>\r\nOne minute we're kids playing with our toys<br>\r\nNow we're solving mysteries like The Hardy Boys<br>\r\nWhat we found out there, you wouldn't believe<br>\r\nWhile my sister was quote-unquote studying with Steve<br>\r\nWe happened to chance upon a maiden faire<br>\r\nHer name was Eleven and she had no hair<br>\r\nShe didn't talk much but it's no mystique<br>\r\nWith a mouth full of Eggos it's hard to speak<br>\r\nAnd I think that maybe with her special skill<br>\r\nShe can help us find Will, or get us all killed<br>\r\nMeanwhile Will's Mom Joyce is freaked<br>\r\nAll she does is scream, howl, and shriek<br>\r\nI don't mean to judge but I'm not the one<br>\r\nWho got an obscene phone call from her son<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>She's got a new phone and she got another call<br>\r\nAnd she's got a new hole in her living room wall<br>\r\nAnd she's got an ex-husband who wants to sue<br>\r\nAnd a crazy idea about what she should do<br>\r\nThe roof!  The roof!<br>\r\nThe roof is on fire!<br>\r\nLook at that thing, it's burning bright<br>\r\nOh wait, never mind, it's just Christmas lights<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Our new friend Eleven, El for short<br>\r\nIs the one who opened the demon's port<br>\r\nIn a lab that doesn't exist, no way<br>\r\nAnd totally isn't run by the CIA<br>\r\nHer crazy Papa, Dr. Brenner<br>\r\nKept her locked up in that research center<br>\r\nAnd trained her mind to act like a radio<br>\r\nI wonder if she can tune in Dr. Demento<br>\r\nWe thought that El was a total fake<br>\r\nWhen they pulled Will's body out of the lake<br>\r\nI fought with Lucas over what she did<br>\r\nBut it turned out to be a fancy Cabbage Patch Kid<br>\r\nThe HAM radio that our science teacher owned<br>\r\nAmplified her powers like a megaphone<br>\r\nAnd proved that Will really didn't drown<br>\r\nAnd is trapped with a monster in the Upside Down<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>The monster seems to be attracted to blood<br>\r\nAnd he comes around hoping he can grab some grub<br>\r\nIf he sees you he'll take you back to his place<br>\r\nPut the moves on you, and try to suck face<br>\r\nNothing is effective at stopping this<br>\r\nSo don't let him give you a big sloppy kiss<br>\r\nIf the lights start to flicker it's not the wires<br>\r\nBetter run or your face will end up on those fliers<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>On top of all this some kids at school<br>\r\nOften bully us and are mean and cruel<br>\r\nWhen they mocked will's death I blew a fuse<br>\r\nAnd El made him wet his Underoos<br>\r\nIt only got worse after that little tiff<br>\r\nThey held Dustin with a knife and made me jump off a cliff<br>\r\nThankfully El was pretty near, oh<br>\r\nMade me fly like The Greatest American Hero<br>\r\nWhile those mouthbreathers get me upset<br>\r\nThe Hawkins Lab staff are a much bigger threat<br>\r\nLucas warned us that they were coming for El<br>\r\nSo we hopped on our bikes and pedaled like hell<br>\r\nThey came at us from every direction<br>\r\nAnd cut us off at every intersection<br>\r\nThere was no escape that I could see<br>\r\nIf only someone could make us fly like E.T.<br>\r\nWe met up with everybody back at the school<br>\r\nWhere we built a think tank from an old kiddie pool<br>\r\nWe were hoping that El could contact Will<br>\r\nWithout blowing up our long distance bill<br>\r\nHopper and Joyce did some lab confronting<br>\r\nMy sister and Jonathan went monster hunting<br>\r\nThat left me alone with El by my side<br>\r\nAnd Dustin alone with the pudding supply<br>\r\nWe couldn't rest long 'cause all too soon<br>\r\nThe school was attacked by Brenner and his goons<br>\r\nThings were nuts, it was really scary<br>\r\nBut El was great, she went completely Carrie<br>\r\nWe kind of won, but I lost my friend<br>\r\nAnd I don't know if I'll ever see her again<br>\r\nBut I'm holding out hope that she'll come back around<br>\r\nA new shipment of Eggos is coming to town<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"WARNING! MAJOR SPOILERS FOR STRANGER THINGS<br><br>\r\n\r\nIf you're not aware Stranger Things is an original series on Netflix which took the service by storm when it was released a few months ago. The show takes place in 1983 in the small, fictional town of Hawkins, IN. When a young boy goes missing his mother goes crazy trying to find him, his friends discover a strange girl with telekinesis, and the chief of police discovers the secret lab in town has been doing some very shady stuff and screwed up big this time around. The series is amazing. Seriously, watch it. It's only 8 episodes long. You won't regret it.<br><br>\r\n\r\nSince the show takes place in 1983 and I wanted to write a song about it I decided to write a song that takes place in 1983. As such this old school rap song is clap-heavy, synth-driven, and damn-near eight minutes long. The song is from Mike's perspective. He's one of the friends of the kid who went missing.\r\n<br><br>\r\nIf you haven't seen the show I don't know how much sense this song will make. I also spoil just about everything, so you should probably watch the series first.\r\n<br><br>\r\nSpecial thanks to The Terrific Two (or whatever they would be called in 1983) Luke Ski and Chris Mezzolesta for helping me out with this track.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2016-10-21","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"stranger-things-logo.jpg","albumId":"30","cover":"the-anarchists-jokebook-1280.jpg","url":"the-anarchists-jokebook"},{"id":"201","title":"What's Really in my Hot Dog?","artist":"1","file":"Whats_Really_in_my_Hot_Dog?.mp3","freemp3":"Whats_Really_in_my_Hot_Dog?.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"<p>Hot dogs!  Get your dogs here!  Thick, plump, juicy hot dogs <br>\r\nlike grandma used to make.  Ignore what that bum Steve Goodie says.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Steve Goodie wrote a song and I'll be ringin' his neck<br>\r\n'Cause he got it all wrong and now I feel the effect<br>\r\nAnd if you've not heard of him that would please me much<br>\r\n'Cause he just writes stupid songs about cheese and such<br>\r\nHe wrote about hot dogs and what's inside<br>\r\nAnd while he's not wrong that's what I can't abide<br>\r\nIt's lazy songwriting if you get my gist<br>\r\nHe just got the ingredients and read the list<br>\r\nAnd I happen to be a hot dog so I'm writing<br>\r\nIn my blog a rebuttal that is scathing and biting<br>\r\nSteve, what you did was just ruin the fun<br>\r\nLike a magician who reveals how the trick is done<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus]<br>\r\nI'm a hot dog (what!) pick me up at the store<br>\r\nFull of sodium and lecithin and so much more<br>\r\nI'm a hearty all-American symbol of pride<br>\r\nSo forget what's inside, never mind what's inside (repeat)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Where my dogs at?<br>\r\nWhere my dogs at?<br>\r\nWhere my buns at?<br>\r\nAnd where the toppings at?!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I'm a hot dog, and damn-right I'm delicious<br>\r\nEven if some ingredients might be suspicious, but listen<br>\r\nI'm here to say there's more to me inside<br>\r\nThan mechanically separated meat in a hide<br>\r\nInside me, and this is where it gets wild<br>\r\nAre the hopes and dreams of each American child<br>\r\nThey say behind every great man a great woman stands<br>\r\nAnd she's got a hot dog in each one of her hands<br>\r\nI was with Washington across the Delaware<br>\r\nI helped when the Allies took out Hitler's secret lair<br>\r\nI was with the boys fighting Charlie in 'Nam<br>\r\nAnd I guarantee that I have been inside your Mom<br>\r\nAnd like Americans, some are fat and some leaner<br>\r\nBut Steve, I didn't say that you could play with my wiener <br>\r\nLuckily for you hot dogs last forever<br>\r\nSo we'll never fall victim to your futile endeavor<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"A while back I opened up the floor to suggestions for a new Ridiculous Rap and got over 200 suggestions. That thread originally lead to \"Gravity Is Stupid\" but because there were so many great ideas in there I decided to bookmark it and revisit it to do more of them. This is one such song.\r\n<br><br>\r\nInsane Ian suggested: \"You're a hot dog and you're mad at Steve Goodie for describing you wrong.\"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2017-08-10","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"199","title":"Gravity Is Stupid","artist":"1","file":"Gravity_Is_Stupid.mp3","freemp3":"Gravity_Is_Stupid.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"<\/p>The only thing it does is make things fall down<br>\r\nAnd the only reason was that the earth is round<br>\r\nWell suppose I didn't wanna go down, maybe I wanna<br>\r\nGo up, goodness knows that is gonna be tough<br>\r\n'Cause now I gotta go to the complete other side <br>\r\nOf the planet, because it can't fall up, can it?<br>\r\nI tried to understand it, it stinks all around<br>\r\n'Cause all it wants to do is make things fall down<br>\r\nAnd it all falls at the same speed, that's dumb<br>\r\nThirty-two feet per second, where the heck is that from<br>\r\nThings with more mass should fall more fast<br>\r\nBut no, gravity is just a pain in the ass<\/p>\r\n\r\n<\/p>(chorus)<br>\r\nOoh! Look at me! I'm gravity! I'm stupid<br>\r\nOoh! Look at me! I'm gravity! I'm stupid<\/p>\r\n\r\n<\/p>I'm resigned to my fate so I'll state in plain words<br>\r\nIf gravity's so great, explain birds<br>\r\nIt's a force that tries to drag everything down<br>\r\nSo why's the moon keep going round and round?<br>\r\nThe sky is falling! Sure enough, well it could be<br>\r\nAnd why ain't that stuff on the shelf where it should be?<br>\r\nRight, 'cause my cat is an asshole, of course<br>\r\nAnd he's dazzled by gravity's fanciful force<br>\r\nIt goes on forever causing drag, that's dumb<br>\r\nIt'll never stop until your boobs sag, that's dumb<br>\r\nEven men, that's dumb, so what I've done, here's a clue, kid<br>\r\nHack the Wikipedia page to say 'STUPID!'<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"Suggested by Cliff B of the nerdcore rap group 2D6.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2017-04-27","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"30","cover":"the-anarchists-jokebook-1280.jpg","url":"the-anarchists-jokebook"},{"id":"200","title":"Just for You","artist":"1","file":"Just_for_You.mp3","freemp3":"Just_for_You.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";i:1;s:3:\" 41\";}","guests":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"25\";i:1;s:3:\" 41\";}","lyrics":"<p>\r\n(v1)<br>\r\nThere you are, I see you at the bar, lookin' like<br>\r\nA movie star, I don't know who you are, but I'm psyched<br>\r\nAt the chance, to get to meet you, maybe go out<br>\r\nAnd dance, if only I could reach you I'd have a chance<br>\r\nAt the answer I'm hopin' we can reach tonight<br>\r\nLike an infected toenail I'm-a treat you right<br>\r\nBut how do I prove that I'm a stud, not a dud?<br>\r\nIn my grade school days I would just push you in the mud<br>\r\nIt's not my style to just invite you to my loft<br>\r\nWhen you look at me and smile I just turn my head and cough<br>\r\nHmm, I know, I'll just bump you from behind<br>\r\nLike it was an accident, then you'll be as good as mine<br>\r\nAnd it worked, I feel like a jerk, but your number's <br>\r\nIn my cell, and it seems to me that the only <br>\r\nWay to tell you exactly what you mean to me<br>\r\nIs to show you<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(ch 1)<br>\r\nSo here's a picture of my dick, for you<br>\r\nHere's a picture of my dick, for you<br>\r\nIt's a mighty fine one and if you're inclined<br>\r\nThen it'll make your dreams come true<br>\r\nIt's a picture of my dick, for you<br>\r\nHere's a picture of my dick, for you<br>\r\nIt's a way to mention all my good intentions<br>\r\nAnd I shared it just for you<br>\r\nIt's a picture of my dick<br>\r\nIt's a picture of my dick<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(v2)<br>\r\nSo there it is, the thing that I use to take a whiz<br>\r\nThought it really isn't huge I'll bet it's bigger than his<br>\r\nSo tell me what's left to choose, let's just get down to biz<br>\r\nThere's no way that you can lose 'cause I'm the best that there is<br>\r\nAll the pink and purple hues that are juxtaposed against<br>\r\nThe faded blue tattoos make the contrast intense<br>\r\nThe dynamic composition complements my styled hair<br>\r\nBut hmm, I don't remember that mole being there<br>\r\nOh never mind, the story it tells is full of win<br>\r\nMarvel at it's glory!  Take it all in!<br>\r\nAnd come with me, for this is the part you'll be enjoying<br>\r\nYou can see that I've mastered the art of the boing<br>\r\nAt attention like a guard, standing proud<br>\r\nAnd tall like a mushroom in the yard, it's exquisite<br>\r\nBut is it overdone?  I'm not sure, to be safe<br>\r\nHere's another one.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(ch 2)<br>\r\nAnother picture of my dick, for you<br>\r\nAnother picture of my dick, for you<br>\r\nIt's a different angle and my balls are spangled<br>\r\nAnd I dyed my hair light blue<br>\r\nIt's a picture of my dick, for you<br>\r\nAnother picture of my dick, for you<br>\r\nI got a whole collection from my last erection<br>\r\nAnd I chose one just for you<br>\r\nIt's a picture of my dick<br>\r\nIt's a picture of my dick<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(v 3)<br>\r\nSeveral hours go by and I get no reply<br>\r\nAnd now I'm wondering why<br>\r\nIs she out with some friends, or home sick with the bends<br>\r\nOr did the picture not send?<br>\r\nThis is taking forever, we'd be perfect together!<br>\r\nOr you know like whatever<br>\r\nThen my phone finally beeps, at her answer I peep<br>\r\n'Stay away from me, creep!'<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Hah, yeah, I should've known.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(v4)<br>\r\nSo what's the deal?  I thought we'd go out and grab a meal<br>\r\nDid you not get the picture?  Don't you see the appeal?<br>\r\nWas it not everything that you would want it to be?<br>\r\nIs it 'cause I only have two balls and not three?<br>\r\nI don't understand.  You're a woman.  I'm a man.<br>\r\nWe've got interlocking parts and they go hand-in-hand<br>\r\nWell, penis-in-vagina, if you want to be specific<br>\r\nSo I thought I'd try yours, figured it would be terrific<br>\r\nThen again, maybe not, I can do the math<br>\r\nI'm a ten, you're a good solid six and a half<br>\r\nAnd if you're not into what I put on display<br>\r\nThen I'm out, 'cause you're probably a whore anyway<br>\r\nI sent you a selfie taken by my little friend<br>\r\nIt's a beauty, and I even let him push send<br>\r\nAnd you just shot him down, oh wait, then again<br>\r\nThere's a message coming in'<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(ch 3)<br>\r\nIt's a picture of a dick, for me<br>\r\nHere's a picture of a dick, for me<br>\r\nIt's all fat and hairy and the balls are scary<br>\r\nAnd it's pointed right at me<br>\r\nIt's a picture of a dick, for me<br>\r\nHere's a picture of a dick, for me<br>\r\nIt's the last contender from what guys have sent her<br>\r\nAnd she chose it just for me<br>\r\nIt's a picture of a dick.  I did not want this.<br>\r\nIt's a picture of a dick.  Why would she think I'd want a picture of some dude's junk?<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Man, I do not understand women.<br><\/p>","private":"0","comments":"Dating is hard. I was never good at it. And I'm glad I don't have to do it today with all the technology and the swipe-right or whatever. I just don't get it.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"done","musicprogress":"done","recordingprogress":"done","datecompleted":"2017-06-12","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"30","cover":"the-anarchists-jokebook-1280.jpg","url":"the-anarchists-jokebook"},{"id":"208","title":"Doctor in Distress","artist":"1","file":"Doctor_in_Distress.mp3","freemp3":"Doctor_in_Distress.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>Mayday!  Mayday!  Urgent assistance needed!  The higher ups keep cutting our budget.  I'm wearing a horrific jacket, and I'm having a really bad hair day!  Can anyone please help!<\/p><br>\r\n<br>\r\n<p>Over the years the Doctor's earned his share of cheers<br>\r\nSaving the universe with flair and time left to have some beers<br>\r\nWhile his enemies were dyin' and their tears were dryin'<br>\r\nHe'd take a victory lap around the belt of Orion<br>\r\nBut there was one enemy he'd never defeat<br>\r\nA race of pure evil full of lies and deceit<br>\r\nSo cold and cunning they plotted schemes over tea<br>\r\nThey were the executive directors at the BBC<\/p><br>\r\n<br>\r\n<p>They slashed the show's budget more and more every year<br>\r\nUntil we thought that all the funding would completely disappear<br>\r\nThey had to make do and try to stretch their funds the farthest<br>\r\nSometimes they couldn't even afford to leave the TARDIS<br>\r\nThe Doctor looked fierce but it was mostly symbolic<br>\r\nFacing off against a cardboard cutout of a Dalek<br>\r\nThe sonic screwdriver was a toy from the yard<br>\r\nAnd it made a squeaky noise if you grabbed it too hard<br>\r\nThey did one take and if they made a mistake<br>\r\nThey let it go and made it work for the budget's sake<br>\r\nThere was no way they could do two let alone three<br>\r\n'Cause you know how expensive video tape can be<br>\r\nThe production was marred and building sets is hard<br>\r\nSo they filmed on location in their neighbor's back yard<br>\r\nAlthough it didn't all come out quite about the way it should<br>\r\nAs long as Peri's poppin' out of her top it's all good<\/p><br>\r\n<br>\r\n<p>chorus:<br>\r\nDoctor in distress<br>\r\nDoctor in distress<\/p><br>\r\n<br>\r\n<p><br>\r\n\f<\/p><br>\r\n<br>\r\n<p><br>\r\nOff screen they made every attempt to try to foil it<br>\r\nUsin' props from the Daleks to unclog their toilet<br>\r\nThe Sontarans had \"kick me\" tattooed on their behinds<br>\r\nAnd the Cybermen's heads made effective beer steins<br>\r\nThey made it really hard and kept lowering the bar and<br>\r\nUsing cutting edge graphics that rivaled the Atari<br>\r\nAnd they had to film quick, like before the check clears<br>\r\nIt's like the show was put on trial after twenty-two years (get it?)<br>\r\nBut the Doctor persevered, fighting evil every day<br>\r\nFacing off against creatures made of paper mach\u00c3\u00a9t<br>\r\nAnd his foes lined up as one tried to complete<br>\r\nThe rise of the Rani, the Gallifreyan treat<br>\r\nThe crew worked hard to make the show every week<br>\r\nBut they were up against the Valyard and their chances were bleak<br>\r\nFrom car parts to kids' toys there's no telling what they'll use<br>\r\nI've seen adult films with better production values<\/p><br>\r\n<br>\r\n<p>(chorus)<br>\r\nA lot of adult films<br>\r\nLike, a lot<\/p><br>\r\n<br>\r\n<p><br>\r\nThe Doctor's outfit was sillier than before<br>\r\nCobbled together from rags from a Good Will store<br>\r\nHe looked a bit like a Killer Klown from Outer Space<br>\r\n[music stops abruptly] With his hair...<\/p><br>\r\n<br>\r\n<p>What, what is going on?<br>\r\n- That's it.  We're done.  Show's been canceled.<br>\r\nCanceled?  What do you mean canceled?  We're just getting to the good part!<br>\r\n- Nope.  All done.  <br>\r\n-- Hey, can somebody break this TARDIS console down.  I'm building a video arcade in my basement for the kids.  I think I can use some of these parts.<br>\r\nYou can't do that!  I am the Lord President of Gallifrey.<br>\r\n- Well I am the head of the BBC.  I outrank you!<br>\r\n[shuffling noises]<br>\r\nBut, no... Come one guys.  Don't do that.  No, not the little round things!  I eat off of those!  Come on\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6  Where are you going with the... hey bring that back!<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>By the time Colin Baker had taken over the role of The Doctor, the BBC had had enough of the show.  They were actively trying to cancel it, kept cutting its budget, and generally just getting in the way.  Eventually the show <em>was<\/em> canceled, but the fan backlash was so great that the BBC backpedaled, said they only put the show on hiatus, and wanted to make some changes.  The only change they made was firing Colin.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>During that \"hiatus\" a fan movement sprung up to save the show.  Part of this movement involved the production of a pop song titled \"Doctor in Distress\" which tried to tell the story of the show.  Proceeds from the sale of the record went to the Cancer Research charity.  The song featured several people from the show including Colin Baker, Nicola Bryant (\"Peri\"), Nicholas Courtney (\"The Brigadier\"), and Anthony Ainley (\"The Master\").  The song is so bad it's laughable.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"26","cover":"i-am-the-doctor-cover.jpg","url":"i-am-the-doctor"},{"id":"209","title":"The Eye of Harmony","artist":"1","file":"The_Eye_of_Harmony.mp3","freemp3":"The_Eye_of_Harmony.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>He's been gone for a while so I see with a smile<br>\r\nThat he's back on TV and he's traveling in style<br>\r\nTransporting the ashes of the Master like a clerk<br>\r\nBut it's funny how killing him never seems to work<br>\r\nNothing can contain him he can say without boasting<br>\r\nSo now he'll make the most of this whole snake ghost thing<br>\r\nThus the TARDIS crashes in the futuristic time<br>\r\nFull of crime, 1999<br>\r\nThe Doctor is shot without knowing who is foes are<br>\r\nAnd owing to his hearts dies of double exposure<br>\r\nBut he's got more lives than a cat at his worst<br>\r\nAlthough he doesn't always manage to land feet-first<br>\r\nThe Doctor regenerates to start his new gig<br>\r\nComplete with a toe tag and a stupid looking wig<br>\r\nAnd now he needs new clothes so he can keep from freezin'<br>\r\nAnd also a Beryllium clock for some reason<\/p><br>\r\n<br>\r\n<p>(chorus)<br>\r\nI'm the Doctor, she's a doctor<br>\r\nHe's the Master, with some Chinese dude<br>\r\nEye is open, world is broken<br>\r\nGotta fix it before we all get screwed (repeat)<\/p><br>\r\n<br>\r\n<p>So now Grace is afraid that the Doctor's insane<br>\r\nBut he can walk through glass without any kind of pain<br>\r\nWhich is handy since she wouldn't let him in the front door<br>\r\nReality has never failed quite so Grace-fully before<br>\r\nThe Eye of Harmony was opened by Mr. Lee<br>\r\nUsing the human retinal pattern in his eye as a key<br>\r\nThe Master wants to use it and the Doctor knows it<br>\r\nAnd only parts from a new clock can close it<br>\r\nThe Master needs lives and\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6<\/p><br>\r\n<br>\r\n<p>Comic Book Guy:  <br>\r\nAlright, stop.  Stop.  Stop!  Wrong!  No.<\/p><br>\r\n<br>\r\n<p>First of all, The Doctor is not now nor has he ever been half human.<\/p><br>\r\n<br>\r\n<p>Second, traveling back in time in the TARDIS does not make time go backwards INSIDE the TARDIS.  There was that one episode with Nyssa and Tegan but we won't get into that right now.<\/p><br>\r\n<br>\r\n<p>Third, there is no way a primitive piece of earth technology would fit in and work with the TARDIS.  The TARDIS is alien technology from another time.  The two are not compatible.  That's like trying to take the needle from a 19th century phonograph and putting it in your cell phone to play MP3s.<\/p><br>\r\n<br>\r\n<p>Worst episode ever.<\/p><br>\r\n<br>\r\n<p>Worst!  Episode!  Ever! <\/p><br>\r\n<br>\r\n<p>Although I'm glad they did what they did because they saved the show from a fate worse than death\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6  a series on FOX.<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"Doctor Who was canceled, once and for all, in 1989, and we all figured that was the end of it.  Then, in 1995, FOX brought the Doctor back for a new TV movie.  Thankfully they didn't pick up the show for a new series because it had a lot of problems.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"26","cover":"i-am-the-doctor-cover.jpg","url":"i-am-the-doctor"},{"id":"210","title":"Adventures in Space and Time","artist":"1","file":"Adventures_in_Space_and_Time.mp3","freemp3":"Adventures_in_Space_and_Time.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>There's a man who always lands in a horrible mess<br>\r\nAnd gets it sorted out in forty-two minutes or less<br>\r\nAnd yes, he'll save the world, get the girl, and then<br>\r\nJust pop off, so he can do it again<br>\r\nHe gets a little help from time to time<br>\r\nFrom Donna, Rose, Sarah-Jane Smith, and K9<br>\r\nPlus Mickey and Martha will go far to have his back<br>\r\nand Kate Stewart from UNIT and welcome back Captain Jack<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Oh, and Harriet Jones.  She's the Prime Minister.<br>\r\nYes, yes, we know who she is.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>The show has been going on now for fifty years<br>\r\nWith a dozen different actors making hit careers<br>\r\nSo if you're ever stuck in traffic for six or seven months<br>\r\nYou can catch up on all the old episodes at once<br>\r\nHe'll save the Titanic, now everyone's fine<br>\r\nNo the other one, the first one's a fixed point in time<br>\r\nOnce he retcons a story that you saw begin<br>\r\nThen like Chloe Weber he will draw you in<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus]<br>\r\nMust see that!<br>\r\nMust see that!<br>\r\nSee all the places he'll chase and climb!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Must see that!<br>\r\nMust see that!<br>\r\nSee him battle a race of slime!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Must see that!<br>\r\nMust see that!<br>\r\nAnd no it isn't a waste of time!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Must see that!<br>\r\nMust see that!<br>\r\nAll his adventures in space and time!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>\r\nThere's aliens and monsters and all kinds of evil<br>\r\nWhole civilizations thrown into upheaval<br>\r\nThere are things that make him freak out and lose him temper<br>\r\nAnd foes from the old shows that nobody remembers<br>\r\nAnd new ones like the Family of Blood who are crazed<br>\r\nAnd the Vashta Nerada, what a wonderful phrase<br>\r\nHe doesn't fear the Master or the Ood in the least<br>\r\nBut his bigger problem is that he woke up the Beast<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(Ood, happily): He is awaken.  And his armies will rise up and wage war against God!<br>\r\n(children): Yaaaaay!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I know that it may seem like an odd career<br>\r\nBut he seems to save Christmas every year<br>\r\nNo matter if you're four or a hundred and three<br>\r\nIt's the type of show that really pulls you into your TV<br>\r\nSo curl up on the couch with a nice stiff drink<br>\r\nTry not to slouch and be careful not to blink<br>\r\nGet ready for the Doctor 'cause here he comes\t<br>\r\nHe's gonna make your heart pound like a couple of drums<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus]<br>\r\nMust see that!<br>\r\nMust see that!<br>\r\nSee all the places he'll chase and climb!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Must see that!<br>\r\nMust see that!<br>\r\nSee him battle a race of slime!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Must see that!<br>\r\nMust see that!<br>\r\nAnd no it isn't a waste of time!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Must see that!<br>\r\nMust see that!<br>\r\nAll his adventures in space and time!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Can't you hear it?<br>\r\nThat constant drumming?<br>\r\nIt's maddening.<br>\r\nIt's like a bad cover of a Metallica song.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p><br>\r\nThe Cult of Skaro will create their own fate<br>\r\nWith a new race evolving on the Empire State<br>\r\nBut when the Doctor puts an end to their impending rule<br>\r\nThere will be no Daleks, only Zuul<br>\r\nAn evil world-conquering plan unfurled<br>\r\nAs the Cybermen invaded from a parallel world<br>\r\nBut their plan fell short of its ultimate goal<br>\r\nBecause the Daleks are adept at pest-control<br>\r\nLazarus was looking for a way to live forever<br>\r\nAnd his experiments were really pretty clever<br>\r\nBut immortality can really be pretty grim<br>\r\nAsk President Barusa how that worked out for him<br>\r\nRose remains trapped in a parallel dimension<br>\r\nMartha's saved the world more times than I can mention<br>\r\nAnd when it was all done just what did Donna know?<br>\r\n*gasp* The show's over!  But I don't wanna go!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus]<br>\r\nMust see that!<br>\r\nMust see that!<br>\r\nSee all the places he'll chase and climb!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Must see that!<br>\r\nMust see that!<br>\r\nSee him battle a race of slime!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Must see that!<br>\r\nMust see that!<br>\r\nAnd no it isn't a waste of time!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Must see that!<br>\r\nMust see that!<br>\r\nAll his adventures in space and time! (repeat)<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"David Tennant is my favorite of the new batch of Doctors.  His stories were great.  He was great.  Everything seemed to gel perfectly.  The main riff for this song is based on the \"constant drumming\" that The Master hears, which factors into one of the main storylines during Tennant's run.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"26","cover":"i-am-the-doctor-cover.jpg","url":"i-am-the-doctor"},{"id":"211","title":"TARDIS Ride","artist":"1","file":"TARDIS_Ride.mp3","freemp3":"TARDIS_Ride.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>You want to see the universe?<br>\r\nCome along with me and you may be the first<br>\r\nTo see where the key of Harmony glowed, well<br>\r\nYou'd be the first to see it and not explode<br>\r\nMy machine can take you any place<br>\r\nAnd I can keep you safe as we travel in space<br>\r\nThe hordes of Genghis Kahn couldn't get inside<br>\r\nAnd believe me they've tried<br>\r\nIt's called the TARDIS and you wouldn't believe<br>\r\nIt's speed, we can get there before we even<br>\r\nLeave, and I have to confess<br>\r\nShe looks damn fine in a Victorian dress<br>\r\nSo do you want to come along?<br>\r\nWe can be back whenever, we won't be gone long<br>\r\nGather all the courage you can muster<br>\r\n'Cause we're hittin' the drive-thru for fish sticks and custard<br>\r\nRide<br>\r\nRide<br>\r\nCome on everybody come along for the ride<br>\r\nWith me, I'm the Doctor, and I can be your tour guide<br>\r\nRide <br>\r\nRide<br>\r\nCome on everybody come along for the ride<br>\r\nThere's always lots of room 'cause it's bigger on the inside<br>\r\nRide<br>\r\nRide<br>\r\nRide<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Wow, she does look good in a dress.  I'll go for a ride!<br>\r\nThat wasn't what I meant.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>My ride is pimped out with dimensional rifts<br>\r\nBut I don't have hydraulic lifts<br>\r\nNo twenty-inch rims, no wheels at all<br>\r\nBut I used to have lots of round things on the wall<br>\r\nIt's disguised like an old police box<br>\r\nAnd we're deep in space when somebody knocks<br>\r\nAnswer the door to see who it's for, it's River<br>\r\nSong, and she wants to come along<br>\r\nThat usually means trouble<br>\r\nAnd I could see it coming like I was using the Hubble<br>\r\nSo buckle up, it's worse than you think<br>\r\nAnd if we drive past a statue try not to blink<br>\r\nUp ahead a bus stop appears<br>\r\nWhere Rory's been waiting two-thousand years<br>\r\nBut now with Amy riding shotgun<br>\r\nWe can tackle any menace so go on, bring it on, come on!<br>\r\nRide<br>\r\nRide<br>\r\nCome on everybody let's see the show<br>\r\nOn your mark, get ready, set, here we go<br>\r\nRide<br>\r\nRide<br>\r\nCome on everybody let's see the show<br>\r\nI keep running into Clara everywhere that I go<br>\r\nRide<br>\r\nRide<br>\r\nRide<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Oh my God!  They killed Clara!<br>\r\nYou bastard!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Sure she's got a few nicks and dings<br>\r\nBut man she's a sexy thing<br>\r\nMy constant companion, exploring new worlds<br>\r\nAnd my bumper sticker says \"I brake for young girls\"<br>\r\nShe's got a swimming pool and a male nurse<br>\r\nAnd the best GPS in the universe<br>\r\nHer temper tantrums are no myth, it<br>\r\nMight randomly explode and take the universe with it<br>\r\nSo tell me where do you want to go?<br>\r\nWe could go visit Vincent Van Gogh<br>\r\nBut he can be a depressing fellow<br>\r\nPersonally I'd rather meet Lou Costello<br>\r\nThink Saturn is cool?  You'll think<br>\r\nAgain when you see the rings of Akhaten<br>\r\nIt's a living star that would just love to meet you<br>\r\nThen again Saturn won't try to eat you<br>\r\nAlmost anyone can come, it may be<br>\r\nA bit dangerous, but that's half the fun<br>\r\nBut only real people are allowed in the TARDIS<br>\r\nThat fake flesh tends to stain the carpets<br>\r\nIt's the ultimate mobile home<br>\r\n'Cause she takes me anywhere that I want to roam<br>\r\nI flip a switch, then we can set sail<br>\r\nIt's more fun than a cruise on a star whale<br>\r\nRide<br>\r\nRide<br>\r\nCome on everybody come along for the ride<br>\r\nWith me, I'm the Doctor, and I can be your tour guide<br>\r\nRide <br>\r\nRide<br>\r\nCome on everybody come along for the ride<br>\r\nThere's always lots of room 'cause it's bigger on the inside<br>\r\nRide<br>\r\nRide<br>\r\nCome on everybody let's see what's in store<br>\r\nYour life'll change forever when you walk through the front door<br>\r\nRide<br>\r\nRide<br>\r\nCome on everybody let's see what's in store<br>\r\nI'll take you any place except Trenzalore<br>\r\nRide<br>\r\nRide<br>\r\nRide<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Ride<br>\r\nRide<br>\r\nRide<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"The 11th Doctor finally got to \"meet\" his TARDIS, so I thought it would be appropriate to dedicate my 11th Doctor song to the machine that has been with him since the start.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"26","cover":"i-am-the-doctor-cover.jpg","url":"i-am-the-doctor"},{"id":"213","title":"It Was a Good Black Friday","artist":"1","file":"It_Was_a_Good_Black_Friday.mp3","freemp3":"It_Was_a_Good_Black_Friday.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"'It Was a Good Day' by Ice Cube","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>Just wakin' up in the morn of Black Friday<br>\r\nGot a feeling this is gonna be my day<br>\r\nNo traffic on the ten, but then again<br>\r\nNobody on the road at 2am<br>\r\nI got to Walmart, and then I went \"whoa!\"<br>\r\nFinally got a parking spot right there in the front row<br>\r\nRunnin' through my list as I approach the store<br>\r\nThinkin' will I give, to the santa by the door<br>\r\nI got a plushie of a Porg and it's so soft<br>\r\nI think I found a Switch, and check it out it's half<br>\r\nOff, had to stop by the TVs<br>\r\nWavin' at the cameras so everybody sees me<br>\r\nAnd everything is so calm<br>\r\nI got a three-for-one offer on lemon-scented bath<br>\r\nBalm, called up the app for the shopping mall<br>\r\nAnd right there is ten percent off it all<br>\r\nGet me a new game and a futon<br>\r\nLast week shopped around and got a double coupon<br>\r\nMeetin' shoppers on the way but it's OK<br>\r\nI can't believe today was a good day<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Drove to the mall to tackle that craze<br>\r\nDidn't even see no people takin' surveys<br>\r\n'Cause just yesterday they tried to sell me windows<br>\r\nSaw a display for Amazon Kindles<br>\r\nNo stoppin', didn't even feel like<br>\r\nI was going to drop it as I finished up my shopping<br>\r\nLeft the mall before dark and I didn't<br>\r\nHave to look too far for where I parked my car<br>\r\nLoad it in, load it in, load it in, loaded!<br>\r\nRollin' down the main avenue I see they've opened up<br>\r\nA brand new 7-11, another 7-11<br>\r\nAnd another, how the hell many do they think we need?<br>\r\nI picked up a Big Gulp<br>\r\nSaw a protester and didn't have to get involved<br>\r\nPlus nobody I know got killed at the mall today<br>\r\nYou could say it was a good day<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Stopped at Sears on the way<br>\r\nPicked up a grill been trying to find since last May<br>\r\nIt's gigantic, I'm thinkin'<br>\r\nCan it maybe smoke every fish in the Atlantic?<br>\r\nWhile I was dreamin' 'bout those cravings<br>\r\nI pulled out my store card for even more savings<br>\r\nAnd these sales run deep, so deep<br>\r\nSo deep iPhones are cheap<br>\r\nWeren't no angry chants, and nobody<br>\r\nGot trampled by a mob of white women in yoga pants<br>\r\nDrove to the pad singin' softly, took another<br>\r\nSip of my coffee, got a free large Frosty<br>\r\nI was glad everything had worked out<br>\r\nDropped my stuff off, and wasn't burnt out<br>\r\nToday was like some kind of fine treat<br>\r\nDidn't even see a granny slippin' on the concrete<br>\r\nNo stupid airplanes dragging any banners<br>\r\nTwo-year-old kids had perfect manners<br>\r\nEven found a sale on Goodyear tires<br>\r\nBought directly from their suppliers<br>\r\nI'll admit this was really fun<br>\r\nNot even December and my shopping is nearly done<br>\r\nToday I didn't even have to use my A.K.<br>\r\nI gotta say it was a good day<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Wait wait wait what the hell am I thinking?  Hey you!  Hand over those fidget spinners.  I need them for my kids.  In fact all the fidget stuff.  Fidget spinners, fidget rollers, fidget clickers, fidget dildos, whatever.  If it fidgets it's mine.  And you, hand over that \"Peace on Earth\" decoration or I will beat your skull in!<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p> The holiday shopping season has become absolutely insane. Black Friday deals now start some time in October and people will stab each other for 10% off a blender. I had a thought that a day of shopping where nobody got trampled at the mall would be a good day, and a parody was born.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2017-11-19","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"black-friday.png","albumId":"30","cover":"the-anarchists-jokebook-1280.jpg","url":"the-anarchists-jokebook"},{"id":"215","title":"God Hates Comedy Musicians","artist":"3","file":"God_Hates_Comedy_Musicians.mp3","freemp3":"God_Hates_Comedy_Musicians.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"216","title":"Mob Internship Program","artist":"3","file":"Mob_Internship_Program.mp3","freemp3":"Mob_Internship_Program.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"217","title":"Guess the Context #1","artist":"3","file":"Guess_the_Context_1.mp3","freemp3":"Guess_the_Context_1.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"218","title":"He's Good","artist":"3","file":"Hes_Good.mp3","freemp3":"Hes_Good.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"219","title":"Escargot Flambe\u00cc\u0081 A La Mode","artist":"3","file":"Escargot_Flambe_A_La_Mode.mp3","freemp3":"Escargot_Flambe_A_La_Mode.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"220","title":"A Fucking Room","artist":"3","file":"A_Fucking_Room.mp3","freemp3":"A_Fucking_Room.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"221","title":"At the Seaside Hotel On Carson Ave","artist":"3","file":"At_the_Seaside_Hotel_On_Carson_Ave.mp3","freemp3":"At_the_Seaside_Hotel_On_Carson_Ave.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"222","title":"The Bible, An Audio Book","artist":"3","file":"The_Bible,_An_Audio_Book.mp3","freemp3":"The_Bible,_An_Audio_Book.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"223","title":"Guess the Context #2","artist":"3","file":"Guess_the_Context_2.mp3","freemp3":"Guess_the_Context_2.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"225","title":"Name Pitch Meeting","artist":"3","file":"Name_Pitch_Meeting.mp3","freemp3":"Name_Pitch_Meeting.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"229","title":"Gilbert's Basket of Shoes","artist":"3","file":"Gilberts_Basket_of_Shoes.mp3","freemp3":"Gilberts_Basket_of_Shoes.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"230","title":"StoogeFighter","artist":"3","file":"StoogeFighter.mp3","freemp3":"StoogeFighter.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"231","title":"Guess the Context #3","artist":"3","file":"Guess_the_Context_3.mp3","freemp3":"Guess_the_Context_3.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"232","title":"TA_VHS_Rental_Rama.mp3","artist":"3","file":"TA_VHS_Rental_Rama.mp3","freemp3":"T&A_VHS_Rental-Rama.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"233","title":"At the Wendy's On Carson Ave","artist":"3","file":"At_the_Wendys_On_Carson_Ave.mp3","freemp3":"At_the_Wendys_On_Carson_Ave.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"234","title":"The Track You Will Listen To The Most On This Disc","artist":"3","file":"The_Track_You_Will_Listen_To_The_Most_On_This_Disc.mp3","freemp3":"The_Track_You_Will_Listen_To_The_Most_On_This_Disc.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"235","title":"Guess the Context #4","artist":"3","file":"Guess_the_Context_4.mp3","freemp3":"Guess_the_Context_4.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"236","title":"You Need Prozac, Charlie Brown","artist":"3","file":"You_Need_Prozac,_Charlie_Brown.mp3","freemp3":"You_Need_Prozac,_Charlie_Brown.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"237","title":"CSI:Dora","artist":"3","file":"CSIDora.mp3","freemp3":"CSIDora.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"238","title":"Luke Ski Cereal","artist":"3","file":"Luke_Ski_Cereal.mp3","freemp3":"Luke_Ski_Cereal.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"239","title":"Gilbert's Bucket of Roses","artist":"3","file":"Gilberts_Bucket_of_Roses.mp3","freemp3":"Gilberts_Bucket_of_Roses.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"240","title":"At the Strip Club On Carson Ave","artist":"3","file":"At_the_Strip_Club_On_Carson_Ave.mp3","freemp3":"At_the_Strip_Club_On_Carson_Ave.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"241","title":"Guess the Context #5","artist":"3","file":"Guess_the_Context_5.mp3","freemp3":"Guess_the_Context_5.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"242","title":"Why I No Longer Listen To New York Hip Hop Radio","artist":"3","file":"Why_I_No_Longer_Listen_To_New_York_Hip_Hop_Radio.mp3","freemp3":"Why_I_No_Longer_Listen_To_New_York_Hip_Hop_Radio.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"243","title":"Mythbusters: The Cat Came Back","artist":"3","file":"Mythbusters_The_Cat_Came_Back.mp3","freemp3":"Mythbusters_The_Cat_Came_Back.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"244","title":"Guess the Context #6","artist":"3","file":"Guess_the_Context_6.mp3","freemp3":"Guess_the_Context_6.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"245","title":"Late Night Phone Call","artist":"3","file":"Late_Night_Phone_Call.mp3","freemp3":"Late_Night_Phone_Call.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"246","title":"Cheesy Eggs","artist":"3","file":"Cheesy_Eggs.mp3","freemp3":"Cheesy_Eggs.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"247","title":"Gilbert's Thing of Stuff","artist":"3","file":"Gilberts_Thing_of_Stuff.mp3","freemp3":"Gilberts_Thing_of_Stuff.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"248","title":"Meanwhile...","artist":"3","file":"Meanwhile....mp3","freemp3":"Meanwhile....mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"249","title":"Guess the Context #7","artist":"3","file":"Guess_the_Context_7.mp3","freemp3":"Guess_the_Context_7.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"250","title":"At the Home Center On Carson Ave","artist":"3","file":"At_the_Home_Center_On_Carson_Ave.mp3","freemp3":"At_the_Home_Center_On_Carson_Ave.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"251","title":"Dumb Fanfic Awards","artist":"3","file":"Dumb_Fanfic_Awards.mp3","freemp3":"Dumb_Fanfic_Awards.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"252","title":"Happy Fanfare","artist":"3","file":"Happy_Fanfare.mp3","freemp3":"Happy_Fanfare.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"27","cover":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse.jpg","url":"procrastinators-of-the-apocalypse"},{"id":"253","title":"200 Minutes Of Free Prayer Time","artist":"3","file":"200_Minutes_Of_Free_Prayer_Time.mp3","freemp3":"200_Minutes_Of_Free_Prayer_Time.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"28","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-1.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-1-grandmother"},{"id":"254","title":"Guess The Context #8","artist":"3","file":"Guess_The_Context_8.mp3","freemp3":"Guess_The_Context_8.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"28","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-1.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-1-grandmother"},{"id":"255","title":"Looking For Things: An Amazing New System!","artist":"3","file":"Looking_For_Things_An_Amazing_New_System.mp3","freemp3":"Looking_For_Things_An_Amazing_New_System.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"28","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-1.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-1-grandmother"},{"id":"256","title":"A Precious Moment","artist":"3","file":"A_Precious_Moment.mp3","freemp3":"A_Precious_Moment.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"28","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-1.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-1-grandmother"},{"id":"257","title":"Staying Fat","artist":"3","file":"Staying_Fat.mp3","freemp3":"Staying_Fat.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"28","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-1.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-1-grandmother"},{"id":"258","title":"Cirque du So What Trivia Corner","artist":"3","file":"Cirque_du_So_What_Trivia_Corner.mp3","freemp3":"Cirque_du_So_What_Trivia_Corner.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"28","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-1.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-1-grandmother"},{"id":"259","title":"Ed's Discount Learnin' Hut","artist":"3","file":"Eds_Discount_Learnin_Hut.mp3","freemp3":"Eds_Discount_Learnin_Hut.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"28","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-1.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-1-grandmother"},{"id":"260","title":"Salary Review","artist":"3","file":"Salary_Review.mp3","freemp3":"Salary_Review.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"28","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-1.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-1-grandmother"},{"id":"261","title":"Sketch Pitch Meeting","artist":"3","file":"Sketch_Pitch_Meeting.mp3","freemp3":"Sketch_Pitch_Meeting.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"28","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-1.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-1-grandmother"},{"id":"262","title":"Pizza Time","artist":"3","file":"Pizza_Time.mp3","freemp3":"Pizza_Time.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"10-pizza-time.mp3","albumId":"28","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-1.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-1-grandmother"},{"id":"263","title":"Guess The Context #9","artist":"3","file":"Guess_The_Context_9.mp3","freemp3":"Guess_The_Context_9.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"28","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-1.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-1-grandmother"},{"id":"264","title":"How To Write Parodies","artist":"3","file":"How_To_Write_Parodies.mp3","freemp3":"How_To_Write_Parodies.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"28","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-1.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-1-grandmother"},{"id":"265","title":"Short and Meta","artist":"3","file":"Short_and_Meta.mp3","freemp3":"Short_and_Meta.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"28","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-1.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-1-grandmother"},{"id":"266","title":"Javatopia","artist":"3","file":"Javatopia.mp3","freemp3":"Javatopia.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"28","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-1.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-1-grandmother"},{"id":"267","title":"Deathworks SKG","artist":"3","file":"Deathworks_SKG.mp3","freemp3":"Deathworks_SKG.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"28","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-1.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-1-grandmother"},{"id":"268","title":"Fauxllus","artist":"3","file":"Fauxllus.mp3","freemp3":"Fauxllus.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"28","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-1.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-1-grandmother"},{"id":"269","title":"Group Dynamic Meeting (One More Stupid Day)","artist":"3","file":"Group_Dynamic_Meeting_(One_More_Stupid_Day).mp3","freemp3":"Group_Dynamic_Meeting_(One_More_Stupid_Day).mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"28","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-1.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-1-grandmother"},{"id":"270","title":"Enditol","artist":"3","file":"Enditol.mp3","freemp3":"Enditol.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"28","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-1.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-1-grandmother"},{"id":"271","title":"Another Late Night Phone Call","artist":"3","file":"Another_Late_Night_Phone_Call.mp3","freemp3":"Another_Late_Night_Phone_Call.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"28","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-1.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-1-grandmother"},{"id":"272","title":"Elevator","artist":"3","file":"Elevator.mp3","freemp3":"Elevator.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"28","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-1.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-1-grandmother"},{"id":"273","title":"Turn-By-Turn","artist":"3","file":"Turn-By-Turn.mp3","freemp3":"Turn-By-Turn.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"28","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-1.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-1-grandmother"},{"id":"274","title":"Food Network After Dark","artist":"3","file":"Food_Network_After_Dark.mp3","freemp3":"Food_Network_After_Dark.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"28","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-1.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-1-grandmother"},{"id":"275","title":"Guess The Context #10","artist":"3","file":"Guess_The_Context_10.mp3","freemp3":"Guess_The_Context_10.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"28","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-1.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-1-grandmother"},{"id":"276","title":"Stupid Cowboy Thing","artist":"3","file":"Stupid_Cowboy_Thing.mp3","freemp3":"Stupid_Cowboy_Thing.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"28","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-1.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-1-grandmother"},{"id":"277","title":"Not As Short, Just As Meta","artist":"3","file":"Not_As_Short,_Just_As_Meta.mp3","freemp3":"Not_As_Short,_Just_As_Meta.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"28","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-1.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-1-grandmother"},{"id":"278","title":"Abortions and Guns","artist":"3","file":"Abortions_and_Guns.mp3","freemp3":"Abortions_and_Guns.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"279","title":"Green Eggs and Peas","artist":"3","file":"Green_Eggs_and_Peas.mp3","freemp3":"Green_Eggs_and_Peas.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"280","title":"An Open Letter To All Jerks","artist":"3","file":"An_Open_Letter_To_All_Jerks.mp3","freemp3":"An_Open_Letter_To_All_Jerks.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"281","title":"Stupid Cowboy Thing (Reprise)","artist":"3","file":"Stupid_Cowboy_Thing_(Reprise).mp3","freemp3":"Stupid_Cowboy_Thing_(Reprise).mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"282","title":"A Scene in an Apothecary","artist":"3","file":"A_Scene_in_an_Apothecary.mp3","freemp3":"A_Scene_in_an_Apothecary.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"283","title":"How To Have a Very Short Conversation #1","artist":"3","file":"How_To_Have_a_Very_Short_Conversation_1.mp3","freemp3":"How_To_Have_a_Very_Short_Conversation_1.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"284","title":"Tech Support","artist":"3","file":"Tech_Support.mp3","freemp3":"Tech_Support.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"285","title":"Guess The Context #11","artist":"3","file":"Guess_The_Context_11.mp3","freemp3":"Guess_The_Context_11.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"286","title":"CdSW?","artist":"3","file":"CdSW.mp3","freemp3":"CdSW.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"287","title":"AJAX Toy Company","artist":"3","file":"AJAX_Toy_Company.mp3","freemp3":"AJAX_Toy_Company.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"288","title":"An Open Letter To ShoEboX's Waffle Iron","artist":"3","file":"An_Open_Letter_To_ShoEboXs_Waffle_Iron.mp3","freemp3":"An_Open_Letter_To_ShoEboXs_Waffle_Iron.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"289","title":"An Evening With Several People In An Apartment","artist":"3","file":"An_Evening_With_Several_People_In_An_Apartment.mp3","freemp3":"An_Evening_With_Several_People_In_An_Apartment.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"290","title":"How To Have a Very Short Conversation #2","artist":"3","file":"How_To_Have_a_Very_Short_Conversation_2.mp3","freemp3":"How_To_Have_a_Very_Short_Conversation_2.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"291","title":"Tile Guy: The Movie!","artist":"3","file":"Tile_Guy_The_Movie.mp3","freemp3":"Tile_Guy_The_Movie.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"292","title":"ShoEboX Versus the Evil Internet Space Lizards","artist":"3","file":"ShoEboX_Versus_the_Evil_Internet_Space_Lizards.mp3","freemp3":"ShoEboX_Versus_the_Evil_Internet_Space_Lizards.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"293","title":"Let's Do Improv!","artist":"3","file":"Lets_Do_Improv.mp3","freemp3":"Lets_Do_Improv.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"294","title":"How To Have a Very Short Conversation #3","artist":"3","file":"How_To_Have_a_Very_Short_Conversation_3.mp3","freemp3":"How_To_Have_a_Very_Short_Conversation_3.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"295","title":"Interrupting Technology","artist":"3","file":"Interrupting_Technology.mp3","freemp3":"Interrupting_Technology.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"296","title":"The Fair Artists Performance Act","artist":"3","file":"The_Fair_Artists_Performance_Act.mp3","freemp3":"The_Fair_Artists_Performance_Act.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"297","title":"How To Speak ShoEboX","artist":"3","file":"How_To_Speak_ShoEboX.mp3","freemp3":"How_To_Speak_ShoEboX.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"298","title":"Guess The Context #12","artist":"3","file":"Guess_The_Context_12.mp3","freemp3":"Guess_The_Context_12.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"A Message from Scrotor the Hentai Demon","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"299","title":"How To Have a Very Short Conversation #4","artist":"3","file":"How_To_Have_a_Very_Short_Conversation_4.mp3","freemp3":"How_To_Have_a_Very_Short_Conversation_4.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"300","title":"Anti-Bullying PSA","artist":"3","file":"Anti-Bullying_PSA.mp3","freemp3":"Anti-Bullying_PSA.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"301","title":"An Open Letter To The FCC","artist":"3","file":"An_Open_Letter_To_The_FCC.mp3","freemp3":"An_Open_Letter_To_The_FCC.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"302","title":"Guess The Context #13","artist":"3","file":"Guess_The_Context_13.mp3","freemp3":"Guess_The_Context_13.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"303","title":"Return to Carson Ave","artist":"3","file":"Return_to_Carson_Ave.mp3","freemp3":"Return_to_Carson_Ave.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"304","title":"Angels In The Outhouse","artist":"3","file":"Angels_In_The_Outhouse.mp3","freemp3":"Angels_In_The_Outhouse.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"305","title":"A Message from Scrotor the Hentai Demon","artist":"3","file":"A_Message_from_Scrotor_the_Hentai_Demon.mp3","freemp3":"A_Message_from_Scrotor_the_Hentai_Demon.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"29","cover":"stupid-cowboy-thing-vol-2.jpg","url":"stupid-cowboy-thing-volume-2-additional-squid"},{"id":"306","title":"On New Year's Eve","artist":"1","file":"On_New_Years_Eve.mp3","freemp3":"On_New_Years_Eve.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>Everybody's making plans for New Year's Eve<br>\r\nBut nobody understands it's my new pet peeve <br>\r\n'Cause have you met me? Do I seem like the type<br>\r\nWho wants to cheer for a year that has appeared overhyped?<br>\r\nPeople like to drink, and party all around<br>\r\nAnd then they drink more, and then they fall down<br>\r\nThen they wonder why their head's pounding as they moan<br>\r\nThat's assuming they don't die as they're trying to drive home<br>\r\nPeople in New York are getting trolled by a few<br>\r\nWho stand around for nine hours in the cold shouting \"woooo\"<br>\r\nWaiting for a ball they've tagged to roll down<br>\r\nIt's like Dick Clark teabagged the whole town<br>\r\nIf this is your thing, whatever, have fun<br>\r\nI would never 'cause I got my own endeavor to run<br>\r\nSo this is my part, if you believe<br>\r\nI'm playing Mario Kart on New Year's Eve<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Everybody says they're gonna exercise more<br>\r\nThat's before they realize that they like pies more<br>\r\nOr they'll eat less junk, or drink less beer<br>\r\nThat's bunk, it'll be worse than you think next year<br>\r\nPick one, and prove that you're facing the strife<br>\r\nAnd convince yourself you haven't been wasting your life<br>\r\nOr chasing an arbitrary change of the date<br>\r\nLike that means anything to the range of your weight<br>\r\nMake a resolution and people hail that<br>\r\nBut it's just another notion for you to fail at<br>\r\nBut if you insist on following the herd mind<br>\r\nYou can try to quit smoking for the twenty-third time<br>\r\nI do have a goal if you wondered for me<br>\r\nIs getting all 3-stars on 200 CC<br>\r\nAnd maybe spend more time with my family too<br>\r\nIt may extend bedtime, but that's something I can do<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Dad: Hey, hey kid! Take this controller.  You're Princess Peach.<br>\r\nKid: Come on, Dad.  I'm tired!  Just let me go back to bed.<br>\r\nDad: Not until we beat the Rainbow Road.  Come on.  Let's do this!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>It's what I've always done, that's the life that I have lead<br>\r\nSo at 12:01, kiss the wife and go to bed<br>\r\nLike I said while you yell to be heard at the bar<br>\r\nI'll be slinging red shells from a dinosaur's car<br>\r\nNo fancy restaurants, no overpriced drinks<br>\r\nNo drunken relatives revealing their wife's kinks<br>\r\nTo me what I do is more fun, what we do here<br>\r\nThree, two, one, happy New Year!<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p> New Year's Eve has always been such a non-holiday for me. I never go anywhere. I never do anything special. But over the years my own little tradition has evolved. This is a song about that.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p> lyrics, music vocals: Tom Rockwell<br>\r\nbackground vocals: Lauren, Darren, and Jeremy<\/p> ","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2016-12-30","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"307","title":"Stupid Rap Battles 1: Frying Pan vs. Florida","artist":"1","file":"Stupid_Rap_Battles_1_Frying_Pan_vs_Florida.mp3","freemp3":"Stupid_Rap_Battles_1_Frying_Pan_vs_Florida.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>Announcer:<br>\r\nLadies and gentlemen!  Welcome to Stupid Rap Battles!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>In this corner, weighing in at seven pounds, six ounces, made of 100 percent cast iron, and seasoned to perfection, it's your grandmother's frying pan!<br>\r\nAnd in this corner, with a population of twenty million six hundred-thousand, an average annual rainfall of 59.2 inches, and an average summer temperature of 82 degrees, it's the state of Florida!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Begin!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Frying pan:<br>\r\nHey Florida, where'd you learn to be a state, man?<br>\r\nIs Alabama giving lessons? 'Cause that's not a great plan<br>\r\nYou're nothing but a swamp that most people stomp past<br>\r\nI guess that's what explains the constant swamp-ass<br>\r\nYou screwed up the election back in Y2k<br>\r\nI mean, how long has this country been voting anyway?<br>\r\nAnd you still messed it up and never fessed up, besides<br>\r\nAnd you think I'll trust my life to all those theme park rides?<br>\r\nYour weather is hot?  Yeah, not so much<br>\r\nYou have to wear an oven mitt 'cause I'm too hot to touch<br>\r\nDid you really think that I would be impressed by your palms<br>\r\nI tell you though, I love to be caressed by your moms<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Florida:<br>\r\nMy weather is beautiful, my girls are hot<br>\r\nI got beaches and parks, your best friend is a pot<br>\r\nAnd you are not even in the same league as me<br>\r\nBut I will sell you a timeshare eagerly<br>\r\nI got 1300 miles of a beautiful coast<br>\r\nYou got a couple things you make that go good with toast<br>\r\nI would take you to Disney but I have to be candid<br>\r\nYou'd be stranded in the park 'cause you're not even enchanted<br>\r\nMan, did you really think you'd have a chance<br>\r\nAgainst teacups and candles that can sing and dance?<br>\r\nJust go back on the shelf because you've met your match<br>\r\nI've survived hurricanes, oh you might get a scratch<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Frying pan:<br>\r\nYou're gonna have to come up with something better pretty quick<br>\r\nYour insults just slide right off, I'm non-stick<br>\r\nAnd I get better with time, it's called seasoning<br>\r\nBut I know you're not exactly good at reasoning<br>\r\nYou've got twenty million people in the world's lamest gang<br>\r\nPicture all these people living in America's wang<br>\r\nI can't deny, I am not understanding why<br>\r\nBecause you only go to Florida when you plan to die<br>\r\nDo I even need to bring up Florida Man?<br>\r\nAnd alligators as pets is a horrible plan<br>\r\nYour state is as exciting as gutting a loft<br>\r\nBugs Bunny had the right idea of cutting you off<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Florida:<br>\r\nYou burn things so easy you make lunch a disgrace<br>\r\nMan, come down to Cape Canaveral and I'll launch you to space<br>\r\nIt's all state-of-the-art, staffed with the prime of the geeks<br>\r\nYour technology's unchanged since the time of the Greeks<br>\r\nI think you've been sniffin' that gas too long<br>\r\nThought you would win this battle but alas you're wrong<br>\r\nYou're a flat round metal that's encased in grime<br>\r\nAn inanimate object, don't waste my time<br>\r\nThere's no chef here so tell me what your excuse is<br>\r\nNow I'll just leave you to stew in your own juices<br>\r\nYou just never seemed to make your case<br>\r\nSo I'm out, leaving you with some egg on your face<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p> You know all those battle raps that are popular online, such as Epic Rap Battles of History and Princess Rap Battles? Well, I had this idea to do Stupid Rap Battles. This is the first one. There really isn't anything else to say about this.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2017-12-25","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"frying-pan-vs-florida.jpg","albumId":"30","cover":"the-anarchists-jokebook-1280.jpg","url":"the-anarchists-jokebook"},{"id":"308","title":"Playin' Games","artist":"1","file":"Playin_Games.mp3","freemp3":"Playin_Games.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"Plane Jane by A$AP Ferg","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>Ride down the block (Grand Theft Auto)<br>\r\nJump on a croc (Pitfall)<br>\r\nRace as a Boo (Mario Kart 8 Deluxe)<br>\r\nChomp on a dot (Pac-Man)<br>\r\nBirds in the lane (Flappy Bird)<br>\r\nSweatin' from the strain<br>\r\nTune in and watch<br>\r\n'Cause I'm playin' games<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Camera on my face in the corner of the monitor<br>\r\nWelcome all my viewers with a catch phrase and moniker<br>\r\nLighting and perfect make-up 'cause of mad vanity<br>\r\nKids see me on their little screens and learn profanity<br>\r\nI'm-a start playin' a game then I'll tell you what I'm doin'<br>\r\nNarrating the scene plus some little quips I threw in<br>\r\nMany people tell me that I need to get a life<br>\r\nAt least I play the games, you just watch me, right?<br>\r\nCouple hours each day you stay undaunted<br>\r\nWatchin' me play some game you wanted<br>\r\nNo charity fundraiser or anything laudable<br>\r\nBy the way this episode is brought to you by Audible<br>\r\nI might get a little arthritis in my hands<br>\r\nBut I'm just actin' like a jerk 'cause I got to be<br>\r\nBeing this obnoxious comes naturally<br>\r\nI'll make millions every year because people keep watchin' me<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Ride down the block (Paperboy)<br>\r\nLoad up your glock (Grand Theft Auto)<br>\r\nDig in the ground (Dig-Dug)<br>\r\nTour in Iraq (Call of Duty)<br>\r\nWork on your aim<br>\r\nThen fire up the MAME<br>\r\nTune in and watch<br>\r\n'Cause I'm playin' games<\/p>\r\nJump on a block (Super Mario Bros.)<br>\r\nShoot at a flock (Duck Hunt)<br>\r\nSit down and race (Gran Turismo)<br>\r\nStand up and rock (Rock Band)<br>\r\nRun through the flames (The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild)<br>\r\nAnd back up your claims<br>\r\nTune in and watch<br>\r\n'Cause I'm playin' games<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Sega, Nintendo, or Sony?<br>\r\nSega, Nintendo, or Sony?<br>\r\nSega\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6  hey, what about Microsoft?<br>\r\nMan, screw Microsoft!  I'm still mad at them for buying Rare.  I want more Banjo Kazooie!<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n<p>I'm-a explain why you probably never seen me<br>\r\nI never filmed a suicide while in the forest streaming<br>\r\nIt turns out YouTube audiences really aren't forgiving<br>\r\nPlease believe when you see me I'm just trying to make a living<br>\r\nI do dumb things all the time and I make it look so easy<br>\r\nBut even I know there's a limit to what we see<br>\r\nI think I need a break, my controller's gettin' greasy<br>\r\nAnd I'm wheezing, feelin' queasy, while I'm in my basement freezing<br>\r\nI know that if I stick with it I'll be a hit some day<br>\r\n'Cause not just anyone can talk while they play<br>\r\nYouTubers are common but I know it's meant to be<br>\r\nHey look my view count just hit forty-three!<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n<p>Line up a block (Tetris)<br>\r\nPretend you're a jock (Madden NFL)<br>\r\nPull out a spine (Mortal Kombat)<br>\r\nHob nob with Spock (Star Trek)<br>\r\nJump in the frame (Mario 64)<br>\r\nRace with a train (Mario Kart 64)<br>\r\nTune in and watch<br>\r\n'Cause I'm playin' games<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n<p>Jump on a block (Q*Bert)<br>\r\nOpen a lock (Myst)<br>\r\nCrap in your pants (Silent Hill)<br>\r\nFight with a rock (Mario Galaxy 2)<br>\r\nEnter your name (high score screen)<br>\r\nOr suffer through the pain (game over screen)<br>\r\nTune in and watch<br>\r\n'Cause I'm playing games<\/p>\r\n\r\n\r\n<p>Sega, Nintendo, or Sony?<br>\r\n\tHey, what about ColecoVision?<br>\r\nSega, Nintendo, or Sony?<br>\r\n\tOr the Intellivision?<br>\r\nSega, Nintendo, or Sony?<br>\r\n\tI think I have an OUYA around here somewhere...<br>\r\nSega, Nintendo, or Sony?<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>\t\t\r\nI heard the song \"Plain Jane\" by A$AP Ferg (NSFW song) a few times on Hip Hop Nation but didn't think much of it, and usually turned it off when it got to the bridge because my kids were in the car. Then one day the DJ announced it by saying it had been certified platinum, so I let it play all the way through, paid close attention to it, and immediately thought of this parody.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>This is a song about those people who play video games on YouTube and somehow get millions of people to watch them do it.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2018-02-08","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"30","cover":"the-anarchists-jokebook-1280.jpg","url":"the-anarchists-jokebook"},{"id":"309","title":"Stupid Rap Battles 2: Cheetos vs. L","artist":"1","file":"Stupid_Rap_Battles_2_Cheetos_vs._L.mp3","freemp3":"Stupid_Rap_Battles_2_Cheetos_vs._L.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>Announcer:<br>\r\nLadies and gentlemen!  Welcome to Stupid Rap Battles!  In this corner, weighing in at 4.5 ounces, 140 calories, and with a Manufacturer\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Suggested Retail Price of seventy-five cents, it's a bag of Cheetos that got stuck in the vending machine.  And in this corner, weighing in at three and a half tons, first erected in 1923, and has graffiti cleaned off it annually, it's the second L in the Hollywood sign.  Begin!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Devo:<br>\r\nWell well well it's a stupid letter L<br>\r\nI thought it was a broken hash tag, it's hard to tell<br>\r\nAnd you've been standing out there for how long on that hill?<br>\r\nWow, I bet your life has just been a series of thrills<br>\r\nI am a delicious little treat for the clan<br>\r\nYou are just a blight on the sight of the land<br>\r\nAnd what you might not understand though it's true of you<br>\r\nIs that you're not even special because there's two of you<br>\r\nSo shallow you are nearly two-dimensional<br>\r\nI can't believe that your construction was intentional<br>\r\nAnd I should mention, I wonder if attention's what you want<br>\r\nWhy you're standing there showing off a boring-ass font<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Starf:<br>\r\nAs I stand here all majestic thinking what's that sound<br>\r\nI'm being mocked by a thing that got stuck falling down?<br>\r\nI think you underestimate a bit my total worth<br>\r\nI overlook one of the most famous cities on earth<br>\r\nYou ain't even worth what they paid for you<br>\r\nLike a hooker who refuses to get laid for you<br>\r\nYou're a tease showing off with the glass in between<br>\r\nLike a peep show hosted in a vending machine<br>\r\nYou had one job, that's to come down off the shelf<br>\r\nIf I were you I'd try not to draw attention to myself<br>\r\nYou're hanging out too much like a man in Speedos<br>\r\nJust sittin' there like 'Durr, I'm a bag of Cheetos'<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Devo:<br>\r\nPeople grab a pack when they want something to munch<br>\r\nI'm a tasty little snack with a satisfying crunch<br>\r\nAnd I will sit here and wait until my time has come<br>\r\nAnd someone's gonna feel great when they get two for one<br>\r\nyou are pursued by hundreds of folks each year<br>\r\nAnd you fill each one with false hopes of a career<br>\r\nThey will cheer when they see you as their dreams you enable<br>\r\nBut they'll still be looking to you when they bus their table<br>\r\nYou fancy yourself as some kind of a shrine<br>\r\nBut you're just a stupid line that's part of a stupid sign<br>\r\nYou call people to you like you're playing Red Rover<br>\r\nI hope a gust of wind comes and blows you over<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Starf:<br>\r\nI'm a historical landmark, if I get defaced<br>\r\nI'll be hastily repaired, you'll just get replaced<br>\r\nYou're a symbol of sloth along with chips and beers<br>\r\nI've been a symbol of art for more than a hundred years<br>\r\nTempting folks to try to knock you down is pretty lame<br>\r\nLike a prize in the world's worst carnival game<br>\r\nYou ripped someone off and don't even seen to care<br>\r\nYou're nothing but fake cheese and some processed air<br>\r\nThe worst feeling in the world is when you just want a snack<br>\r\nAnd it doesn't come out, and don't get your money back<br>\r\nSomeone paid seventy-five cents? well that's nifty<br>\r\nBut they won't do it again 'cause you ain't worth a buck fifty<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Announcer:<br>\r\nWho won?!  Who cares?!  Who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?!<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>I wanted to have something new to perform at MarsCon this year, and a new Stupid Rap Battle seemed to be the way to go. Since Starf was going to be at MarsCon as well I asked him if he wanted to do the song with me and this is what happened.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Chris Mezzolesta gets credit for coming up with \"the second L in the Hollywood sign\" as a potential entry.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>lyrics, music: Devo Spice<br>\r\nvocals: Devo Spice and Starf<br>\r\nannouncer: Chris Mezzolesta<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2018-03-18","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"stupid-rap-battles-2-album-art.jpg","albumId":"30","cover":"the-anarchists-jokebook-1280.jpg","url":"the-anarchists-jokebook"},{"id":"310","title":"Really Bad Things","artist":"1","file":"Really_Bad_Things.mp3","freemp3":"Really_Bad_Things.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"Bad Things by Machine Gun Kelly featuring Camila C","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>Must be outta my head, must be outta my mind<br>\r\nBut I really love that man of mine<br>\r\n so sweet, since we were first dating<br>\r\nThe way that he smells is intoxicating<br>\r\nWhen he's in the stall, it's like his secret lair<br>\r\nHe does some really really bad things in there<br>\r\nSo bad, my eyes are dilated<br>\r\nWhat can I say?   He's constipated<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 1]<br>\r\n(ngh) I just sit here (ngh) and I push and strain<br>\r\n(ngh) And if I push too hard, I might pop my brain<br>\r\nBeen a long while, and a mighty bout<br>\r\nAnd oh my God, smells so bad that I might pass out<br>\r\nBend over at the waste now, stench dissolving the wall's grout<br>\r\nNails dig into my thighs, a marble-size piece falls out<br>\r\nAnd I'm muffling all my shouts, while my teeth all crack in my mouth<br>\r\nAs the pain builds up in my gut, hope my colon doesn't pop out<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[pre-chorus]<br>\r\nAnd I said it's quite the endeavor, feels like I'm in here forever<br>\r\nStars in my vision as I clench my teeth together<br>\r\nI want you forever, we'll asphyxiate together<br>\r\nOurs is much better than just whips and chains and leather<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus 2]<br>\r\nMust be outta my head, must be outta my mind<br>\r\nBut I really love that man of mine<br>\r\nHe's so sweet, since we were first dating<br>\r\nThe way that he smells is intoxicating<br>\r\nWhen he's in the stall, it's like his secret lair<br>\r\nHe does some really really bad things in there<br>\r\nSo bad, a task force was created<br>\r\nWhat can I say?   He's constipated<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 2]<br>\r\n(ngh) I just can't take it  (ngh) my face is flush<br>\r\nBut at least I beat another level on Candy Crush<br>\r\nIt feels like a cannon ball, comes out my ass<br>\r\nAnd when it passes, it rips me in half<br>\r\nLet me crack a window, try to air out my house<br>\r\nLast time I lit a match, singed off both eyebrows<br>\r\nSorry that you had to listen, to all the noises that you heard<br>\r\nLike I'm trying to give birth to a twelve pound baby turd<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[pre-chorus]<br>\r\nAnd I said it's quite the endeavor, feels like I'm in here forever (how long have you been in there?)<br>\r\nStars in my vision as I clench my teeth together<br>\r\nI want you forever, we'll asphyxiate together<br>\r\nOurs is much better than just whips and chains and leather<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus 3]<br>\r\nMust be outta my head, must be outta my mind<br>\r\nBut I really love that man of mine<br>\r\nHe's so sweet, since we were first dating<br>\r\nThe way that he smells is intoxicating<br>\r\nWhen he's in the stall, it's like his secret lair<br>\r\nHe does some really really bad things in there<br>\r\nSo bad, the dog was sedated<br>\r\nWhat can I say?   He's constipated<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[bridge]<br>\r\nThe way we lo-o-ove, is so unique<br>\r\nAnd what he do-(cough)-oes, is just for me<br>\r\nAnd screw them if they judge us, 'cause they don't see<br>\r\nBut baby hurry up, I have to pee<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[pre-chorus]<br>\r\nAnd I said it's quite the endeavor, feels like I'm in here forever<br>\r\nStars in my vision as I clench my teeth together<br>\r\nI want you forever, we'll asphyxiate together<br>\r\nOurs is much better than just whips and chains and leather<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus 4]<br>\r\nMust be outta my head, must be outta my mind<br>\r\nBut I really love that man of mine<br>\r\nHe's so sweet, since we were first dating<br>\r\nThe way that he smells is intoxicating<br>\r\nWhen he's in the stall, it's like his secret lair<br>\r\nHe does some really really bad things in there<br>\r\nSo bad, the birds all migrated<br>\r\nWhat can I say? (Jeez, baby) He's constipated<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>Ah, true love. When you'll do anything for your partner, no matter how bizarre, uncomfortable, or disgusting, One thing I've learned in my time on the internet is that I'm glad I don't have one of those freaky fetishes. I mean, if you enjoy being tied up, bound and gagged, and tied to a weathervane on the top of a barn then fine, whatever. I'm just glad I found someone who doesn't require that.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>So here's a song about a man with a problem and the woman who loves him for it. I'm sure this is a fetish but I don't feel like googling it right now.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Lyrics, music: Devo Spice<br>\r\nVocals: Devo Spice and Blythe Renee<br>\r\nSpecial thanks to Chris Mezzolesta for helping analyze the music.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2017-03-01","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"30","cover":"the-anarchists-jokebook-1280.jpg","url":"the-anarchists-jokebook"},{"id":"311","title":"The FuMP's OK","artist":"1","file":"The_FuMPs_OK.mp3","freemp3":"The_FuMPs_OK.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"Hip Hop Hooray by Naughty by Nature","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>You hear a new song in the morning and it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s gonna make your day<br>\r\nWe\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re rocking and you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re laughing and your lunch you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re gonna spray<br>\r\nAll over your co-worker and now you must explain<br>\r\nWhat The FuMP is and try not to make it sound like you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re insane<br>\r\nYou\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d think that music mixed with comedy would make it that much stronger<br>\r\nI am here to tell you that you couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be more wronger<br>\r\nHalf comedy half music when you multiply <br>\r\nFractions, it just gets smaller with every action<br>\r\nBut that won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t stop the songs that you will hear, wiggling in your<br>\r\nLi\u00e2\u20ac\u2122l ear, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just that we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re too stubborn so we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re still here<br>\r\nGoing like the Energizer Bunny, just trying to be<br>\r\nFunny, and hoping that someday we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll make some money<br>\r\nI live and die for The FuMP, let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s see what\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s posted <br>\r\nToday, I give props to The FuMP \u00e2\u20ac\u02dccause The FuMP\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s <br>\r\nOKaaaay, oooooh, kaaaay, oooooh, kaaaaay, ooooh, kaaaay, ooooh<br>\r\nThe FuMP\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s okaaaaay, oooooh, kaaaay, oooooh, kaaaay, ooooh, kaaaay, oooooh<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>You hear a lot of boring music with the same sound, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a shame<br>\r\nHow they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re finding fame now, sounding so lame now, No!<br>\r\nI want a song that when I hear it, though its funny<br>\r\nLyrics, I know the radio ain\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t going near it<br>\r\nWe got songs about OCD and<br>\r\nABCs and, snacks for free man<br>\r\nLike Carrie said everything is a song<br>\r\nAnd if you listen a bit you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll see that she isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t wrong<br>\r\nWith over thirteen hundred songs that we juggle<br>\r\nThere should be a couple, that might make you chuckle<br>\r\nBut when you listen to our music, you might think all we<br>\r\nDo is play a lot of games and watch some movies<br>\r\nYou try to act like your ear just got fisted<br>\r\nJust because our songs about love are so twisted<br>\r\nWe\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re doing songs our own way, in any style<br>\r\nWe may, as sure as Grup will say \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yay!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d The FuMP\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s<br>\r\nOKaaaay, oooooh, kaaaay, oooooh, kaaaaay, ooooh, kaaaay, ooooh<br>\r\nThe FuMP\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s okaaaaay, oooooh, kaaaay, oooooh, kaaaay, ooooh, kaaaay, oooooh<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>FuMP fiddly FuMP fiddly FuMP master flex<br>\r\nSo many artists on The FuMP that I lost track of who\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s posting next<br>\r\nCould be TV\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Kyle \u00e2\u20ac\u02dccause he has awards<br>\r\nFor his mutton chops and an Earworm Magisword<br>\r\nOr I wonder how Ian\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s doing now <br>\r\nOn that project, wow, he finished it *smack!* Ow!<br>\r\nIt\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s funny Luke is the one who writes the really long<br>\r\nSongs but we tell Ian shut up which just seems wrong<br>\r\nNipples nipples here, nipples nipples there, Shoebox must be<br>\r\nNear, just say nipples and watch him appear, dammit<br>\r\nFor careers, Lauren Mayer\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s getting cheers<br>\r\nShe\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s an overnight success after thirty-three years<br>\r\nCarrie Dahlby is the royal emblazoned one<br>\r\nShe didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t marry a singer so she\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s raising one<br>\r\nCarla\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s name has a couple extra letters<br>\r\nAnd the less we say about Seamonkey the better<br>\r\nThis is the place where the misfits all fit in<br>\r\nAnd every dumb parody idea will get written<br>\r\nAlthough we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re pissing off God, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know why<br>\r\nBut if He wants a sacrifice just tell me who has to die<br>\r\nAnd so I send my regards, pease out<br>\r\nTo Power Salad, Steve Goodie, and the Library Bards (jazz hands!)<br>\r\nI live and die for The FuMP, let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s see what\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s posted <br>\r\nToday, I give props to The FuMP \u00e2\u20ac\u02dccause The FuMP\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s <br>\r\nOKaaaay, oooooh, kaaaay, oooooh, kaaaaay, ooooh, kaaaay<br>\r\nThe FuMP\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s okaaaaay, oooooh, kaaaay, oooooh, kaaaay, ooooh, kaaaay, oooooh<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"At some point while we were planning FuMPFest I heard the song \"Hip Hop Hooray\" by Naughty by Nature and started singing \"Ooooh kaaaaay\" on the chorus and thought this might be a good way to start Opening Ceremonies. It was a very last-minute thing, as I finished writing the lyrics the day before FuMPFest started. Ian, Luke, and Chris knew what I was planning to do but none of them had heard the finished piece, so the song was as much as surprise to them as it was to everybody else.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2018-06-13","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"312","title":"Ditch Diggers Theme","artist":"1","file":"Ditch_Diggers_Theme.mp3","freemp3":"Ditch_Diggers_Theme.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>Ditch Diggers appear and ain't no wannabes here<br>\t\t\t\r\nWith some not-so-nice advice for your writing career<br>\r\nTo be clear, no punches will be pulled, but the punch<br>\r\nMay be spiked how they like before they get on the mic<br>\r\nTo my left we got the mighty Mur Lafferty<br>\r\nAnd if I piss her off believe me she'll come after me<br>\r\nAnd her co-host Matt F-N Wallace on the right<br>\r\nYes she might be half his height but she can take him in a fight<br>\r\nSo settle in folks, buckle in and boot up<br>\r\nTime to meddle in a way to make you write or shut up<br>\r\nIt's hard work but the perk is that it's fun and exciting<br>\r\nFacebook will still be there when you're done writing<br>\r\nDitch Diggers!<br>\r\nDitch Diggers!<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>This is the theme song to the Hugo-winning podcast \"Ditch Diggers\" with Mur Lafferty and Matt Wallace.  It's a podcast about the professional side of writing and in 2018 won the Hugo award for Best Fancast.<p>\r\n\r\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/murverse.com\/subscribe-to-podcasts\/ditch-diggers\/\" target=_blank>Click here to subscribe to Ditch Diggers.<\/a><\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2015-08-19","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"dd-logo-itunes.png","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"313","title":"Fun with Fruit Flies","artist":"1","file":"Fun_with_Fruit_Flies.mp3","freemp3":"Fun_with_Fruit_Flies.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>What do you do with the pests<br>\r\nWho forage and breed and nest<br>\r\nIn a bowl of fruit in your kitchen<br>\r\nWell I tell ya those fellas are bitchin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<br>\r\nThey\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re tiny and plentiful, bountiful bugs<br>\r\nWho just want to give you all thousands of hugs<br>\r\nAnd maybe, snack on an apple or two<br>\r\nI\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll happily do what I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m telling to you<br>\r\nGather \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcem up, put \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcem together<br>\r\nInside of a cup, then run some hot water<br>\r\nAnd brew a new tea, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s easy you see<br>\r\nAnd good for the pains in your back or your knee<br>\r\nIt\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s all thanks to slovenly living, <br>\r\nDrosophila c omes in so loving and giving<br> \r\nand awfully plentiful, so many uses<br>\r\nAnd full of so many delectable juices<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Fruit flies!<br>\r\nThere\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just a ton of the little cute guys!<br>\r\nWe\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re having such fun with those fruit flies!<br>\r\nAnd you should check out their tiny boot size<br>\r\nYeah, they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re fruit flies <\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>You can mix \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcem with paint<br>\r\nIt makes a cool texture, isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t it<br>\r\nQuaint? Or sprinkle on salad<br>\r\nOr spray in the face of [DJ Khaled!]<br>\r\nFor parties you want to just gather a lot and then<br>\r\nPut a whole bunch in your cousin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s pi\u00c3\u00b1ata and<br>\r\nWatch as they unleash a biblical swarm<br>\r\nIt\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s typically thick as a tropical storm<br>\r\nBut that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not enough<br>\r\nYou can make lots of stuff<br>\r\nIt\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a fruitful endeavor<br>\r\nJust smash \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcem and mash \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcem and mush \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcem together<br>\r\nI hold \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcem so they can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t escape when they come in<br>\r\nAnd mold \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcem all into the shape of a woman<br>\r\nAnd then when I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m finished I chop up poor Jill<br>\r\nAnd make little patties to pop on the grill<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Fruit flies!<br>\r\nThere\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just a ton of those little cute guys!<br>\r\nWe\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re having such fun with the fruit flies!<br>\r\nAnd you should check out their tiny boot size<br>\r\nYeah, they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re fruit flies <\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the cheapest meat on the planet<br>\r\nAnd there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s almost an endless supply<br>\r\nJust as long as we don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t run out of bananas<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>Recently I asked my fans on Facebook for ridiculous topics for songs, and boy did they come through. I got about 200 suggestions and I plan to make songs out of several of them. This particular topic was suggested by Beth Bourque, so thanks Beth!<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2018-08-30","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"fun-with-fruit-flies-square.jpg","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"319","title":"What's Up, Migraine?","artist":"1","file":"Whats_Up_Migraine.mp3","freemp3":"Whats_Up_Migraine.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"What's Up, Danger by Blackway and Black Caviar","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>I'm sittin' in the dark again, see these little sparks again<br>\r\nFeel like the vomit's gonna start again, and hurt again<br>\r\nWhat's up, migraine?<br>\r\nWhat's up, migraine?<br>\r\nThey comin' on spontaneous, makes my head the veiniest<br>\r\nThrowin' up and takin' a dump simultaneous<br>\r\nWhat's up, migraine?<br>\r\nAyy, can't stop my pain, it feels<br>\r\nLike a drill going deep into my head, and I can't<br>\r\nParse anything that that guy said, so much<br>\r\nPressure I fear something might crack, my head is<br>\r\nThrobbing like an alien egg sack<\/p>\r\n\t\r\n<p>I'm in pain, and I'm on the floor<br>\r\nWatchin' my co-workers from under the door<br>\r\nEvery sound is like a lion's roar<br>\r\nNow I'm wonderin' what else this day has in store<br>\r\nIf anyone asks, I'm not OK<br>\r\nSee flashy lights, like a Christmas display<br>\r\nMy head explodes, like Michael Bay<br>\r\nAnd it always seems to last for about three days<br>\r\nLike, what's up, migraine?<br>\r\nLike, what's up, migraine?<br>\r\nN-no stoppin' my pain<br>\r\nWhat's up, migraine?<\/p>\r\n\t\r\n<p>My schedule is shot when it goes on this long<br>\r\nDon't even have the stamina to write this song<br>\r\nWhat's up, migraine?<br>\r\nWhat rhymes with migraine?<br>\r\nCan't sit up straight, can't keep down food<br>\r\nSo I don't really care my wife is finally in the mood<br>\r\nWhat's up, migraine?<br>\r\nCan't stop my pain!  I like to use<br>\r\nAn ice pack as a pillow in my bed, I find it<br>\r\nHard to sleep when there's a knife inside my head, I got<br>\r\nDeadlines I'm trying to mind but, everything<br>\r\nI type disappears in my blind spot, if anyone<br>\r\nKnows a cure feel free to shout how, whoever<br>\r\nGot the voodoo doll please take the pin out now, I need<br>\r\nDark and quiet so I can nap again, but I got <br>\r\nKids so I don't see that happenin'<\/p>\r\n\t\r\n<p>First I'm tired, then I'm in pain<br>\r\nAnd industrial blender is shredding my brain<br>\r\nIf I sound whiny just let me be<br>\r\n'Cause it feels like someone doing \"Crucio\" on me<br>\r\nLike, what's up, migraine?<br>\r\nLike, what's up, migraine?<\/p>\r\n\t\r\n<p>Can't stop the pain!<br>\r\nIt's drivin' me insane!<br>\r\nWhen I try to get something done<br>\r\nOr, God forbid, have a little fun<br>\r\nWhat's up, migraine?<br>\r\nYeah, what's up, migraine?<br>\r\nCan't stop the pain!  Yeah!<br>\r\nIt's inhumane!<br>\r\nCome on, what's up, migraine?<br>\r\nCome on, I said  what's up, migraine?<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"I've suffered from migraines since about college or so, although they have gotten worse in recent years. However, it never occurred to me to write a song about them. I don't know why. Then some time ago my friend Mur Lafferty suggested (while suffering from a migraine herself) that I parody \"What's Up, Danger?\" from the Into the Spider-Verse soundtrack and call it \"What's Up, Migraine?\" I saw no reason not to make this parody a reality, and here we are.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2019-08-26","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"1","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"whats-up-migraine-art.jpg","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"314","title":"Banner","artist":"1","file":"Banner.mp3","freemp3":"Banner.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"Panda by Desiigner","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>Banner<br>\r\nBanner, Banner, Banner<br>\r\nBanner, Banner<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>CDC's in Atlanta<br>\r\nRun the tests that they planned to<br>\r\nWussy man, Bruce Banner<br>\r\nCaught in the mix and kablammo<br>\r\nOverdose, gammas<br>\r\nTransform into a new man now<br>\r\nClothing ripped off of manhood<br>\r\nExcept for purple pajamas<br>\r\nHulk smash!  Anger!<br>\r\nBetter run, danger!<br>\r\nMuscles swole, stammer<br>\r\nGreen skin, glammer<br>\r\nHulk is strongest on planet<br>\r\nHulk show you where to cram it<br>\r\nNo limit how strong I can be<br>\r\nHope puny man understand me<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Banner<br>\r\nBanner, Banner, Banner<br>\r\nBanner, Banner<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I get large when I'm angered<br>\r\nBulging all green with it, like a Lantern<br>\r\nBanner pale, Hulk tanner<br>\r\nPlus have much better bedside manner<br>\r\nWhole bunch of evil guys, they be askin'<br>\r\nFor Hulk to just pulverize, Absorbing<br>\r\nMan just a giant leech, Red Hulk<br>\r\nLook like ginger put on a beach, he gonna screech<br>\r\nGargoyle, smash him<br>\r\nRed King, trash him<br>\r\nToss a tank, like a hammer<br>\r\nNot my problem don't care where it landed<br>\r\nLoki showed up with Chitauri commandos<br>\r\nSmash the big ship and their alien Rambos<br>\r\nThrashing the puny god, trashing his army<br>\r\nSit down and partake in eating of schwarma<br>\r\nAnd go back for seconds, we just sit<br>\r\nAnd eat there in the wreckage, after battle<br>\r\nWe all were quite peckish, no you wouldn't<br>\r\nLike me when I'm angry, but Natasha somehow <br>\r\nCan still calm me down, \"Hey big guy\"<br>\r\nCan be such a relaxing sound, but if Loki<br>\r\nOr Thor got up in my space they would end up with their<br>\r\nBody parts every place and a much flatter face<br>\r\nThrash it, see a house and I trash it<br>\r\nI take cars and I crash it, see how I<br>\r\nMash it, crush it all and then slash it<br>\r\nYour mouth just wrote you a big check and I dare you<br>\r\nTo cash it, see your face and I bash it<br>\r\nGamma rays make me unbeatable, smile I<br>\r\nFlash it, don't just stare at me blankly<br>\r\nI'm big and I'm green and I'm angry, I'm Hulk and<br>\r\nI smash it!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Banner<br>\r\nBanner, Banner, Banner<br>\r\nBanner, Banner<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Stan Lee: You can't be the Hulk!  I'm the Hulk!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I got friends in Avengers<br>\r\nWe are earth's foremost defenders<br>\r\nBut now Hulk got his own planet<br>\r\nDoing well, me not stranded<br>\r\nHulk fight, champion<br>\r\nThor winning, not happening<br>\r\nHulk sit around in pajamas<br>\r\nWatching Hannah Montana<br>\r\nHuge TV, plasma<br>\r\nBig drink, Shasta<br>\r\nPlay music, banjo<br>\r\nNo underwear, commando<br>\r\nIn college Hulk was a lambda<br>\r\nAt Christmas Hulk'll play Santa<br>\r\nHulk is not mean, that slander<br>\r\nNow only Hulk, no more Banner!<\/p><br>\r\n<br>\r\n<br>\r\n<p>Banner<br>\r\nBanner, Banner, Banner<br>\r\nBanner, Banner<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Engineer: OK, we got it.  Hey, I gotta run.  I'll meet you back here tomorrow and we'll finish things up, OK?<br>\r\nDevo: Sure, no problem.  See you then.  <br>\r\nHey, where's my ride.  Dude didn't show up?  Ugh, guess I'll have to hitchhike.<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>I've been a fan of The Hulk since I was a kid.  Granted, that was based on the TV show and toys.  I've never actually read the comics.  But the Hulk continues to be one of my favorite characters from the modern batch of Marvel movies.  This song, like all good Marvel movies, features a Stan Lee cameo and a post-credits scene.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2019-02-03","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"30","cover":"the-anarchists-jokebook-1280.jpg","url":"the-anarchists-jokebook"},{"id":"315","title":"The Promised Land","artist":"1","file":"The_Promised_Land.mp3","freemp3":"The_Promised_Land.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>Hey Doctor, what did you do to your face?<br>\r\nI don't mean to be rude to your race, but it seems<br>\r\nLike your eyebrows have picked up the pace, and they've taken<br>\r\nOn a life of their own, like that sleep dust from space<br>\r\nWhat are you trying to say, to yourself?<br>\r\nAre you tired of lying awake?  'Cause you help<br>\r\nLike you've been hired to save the day, or did you just <br>\r\nGet punched one too many times in the face, now you're stuck that way<br>\r\nWhat seems to be your new mission, and why<br>\r\nAre you dressed like a crappy magician, there's a thing<br>\r\nUnder your bed if you just stop and listen, and you bring<br>\r\nA chalkboard to figure nuclear fission, a magician<br>\r\nPlayed guitar in a medieval castle, and dude<br>\r\nThey were hardly difficult to dazzle, that was shrewd <br>\r\nBecause dying can be such a hassle, over four and a half<br>\r\nBillion years you watched the puzzle unravel<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[Chorus]<br>\r\nTake me away to the Promised Land<br>\r\nWith that weird liquid I don't understand<br>\r\nOh hey turns out it's a Cyberman<br>\r\nBut I'm sure you have a plan<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Take me away to the Promised Land<br>\r\nWhere the people are so pale that I look tanned<br>\r\nThough I know your last trip didn't go as planned<br>\r\nThat would still be just as grand<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I want to fly through the darkness of space, and maybe<br>\r\nTouch down on an alien base, just take me<br>\r\nTo the universe's happiest place, and see all the<br>\r\nCharacters in the biggest ever database<br>\r\nI want to ride on a runaway train, or we can <br>\r\nShrink down and enter somebody's brain, you could <br>\r\nGet us a ticket for the fast lane, I want to have<br>\r\nBreakfast in China, and dinner in Spain<br>\r\nSo many adventures ahead, I wanna meet<br>\r\nThe characters with oversized heads, or see<br>\r\nA haunted manor and then talk to the dead, or we could go<br>\r\nListen to what the past presidents said<br>\r\nWhere 2D creations come alive and there's<br>\r\nFuturistic cars you can make and test drive<br>\r\nAnd humanoid androids trying to survive, and I even heard<br>\r\nRobin Hood is making an appearance at five<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Doctor: \"Go to hell.  Or Heaven.  Or wherever people go when they die.  If there is a place.\"<br>\r\nDevo: \"Die?!  No, I wanted to go to Disney World.  You know, in Florida?  Space Mountain, Haunted Mansion, Hall of Presidents... Walt Disney World.\"<br>\r\nDoctor: Oh, the human race.  You're never happy, are you?\"<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>So Missy will talk off your ears, weren't you supposed to<br>\r\nGuard her for a thousand years?  Well that<br>\r\nGoes out the window once you've had a few beers, you just<br>\r\nLeft her to die on a ship, killed by one of her peers<br>\r\nAnd explain this whole moon thing again, it's been<br>\r\nAn egg since god only knows when, I get that<br>\r\nMoons hatching is a dangerous trend, but how does<br>\r\nA creature lay an egg bigger than its rear end?<br>\r\nAnd forests that appear overnight, trying to<br>\r\nProtect us from the sun burning bright, massive<br>\r\nSolar flares that will light up the night, but all that<br>\r\nExtra oxygen would make the earth explode, am I right?<br>\r\nI can learn the TARDIS interface, but should I <br>\r\nBe concerned about your companion's fates?  I mean because<br>\r\nYou're 0 for 2 for keeping them safe, Clara met the <br>\r\nRaven, and Bill's a water demon in space<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Spoken: So maybe I should think about this for a minute.  Oh, what the hell?<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>I've decided to wait until the current actor playing The Doctor is done before doing a song about that Doctor.  As such, this is my Peter Capaldi song.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2019-02-03","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"30","cover":"the-anarchists-jokebook-1280.jpg","url":"the-anarchists-jokebook"},{"id":"316","title":"Spider Verses","artist":"1","file":"Spider_Verses.mp3","freemp3":"Spider_Verses.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>[Peter Parker (Devo Spice)]:<br>\r\nAw yeah, that's my jam, I mean literally my jam<br>\r\nTry and keep up because you gotta know who I am<br>\r\nPeter Parker, with Mary Jane beside her man<br>\r\nI am the one-and-only Spider-Man<br>\r\nI climb walls, shoot webs, great strength and agility<br>\r\nAnd with great power comes blah blah blah<br>\r\nMy ability to cling to walls and then swing<br>\r\nMeans I'm shootin' out webs like silly string<br>\r\nI got a theme song, t-shirt, cartoon, and toys<br>\r\nAnd a breakfast cereal that nobody enjoys<br>\r\nAnd a third nipple, at least according to my wiki<br>\r\nDon't mind fighting crime but my hands are always sticky<br>\r\nSo Kingpin lost his whole family what a pity<br>\r\nBut the thing he built could destroy the whole city<br>\r\nHate to be a party pooper but we gotta stop the threat<br>\r\nTake this goober, and I'm dead<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[Miles Morales (Creative Mind Frame (AKA 1-UP))]: <br>\r\nWhen I'm done you'll wanna cop this... put em up<br>\r\nMiles morales here (heh) that's what's up<br>\r\nYoung kid but a brainiac a maniac <br>\r\nFor anything my uncle would do, but he's a shady cat<br>\r\nAnd that's another act back to my story line<br>\r\nI packed no punches and that's being blunt kid<br>\r\nItty bitty spider bite that's what made it story time<br>\r\nThat's so nuts now I lack no function<br>\r\nYou're telling me that I'm a new Spider-Man<br>\r\nGone from no skills to doing anything a fighter can <br>\r\nFirst the multiverse gets shattered... broken jars<br>\r\nNow a bunch a spideys slinging round...  broken arms<br>\r\nDon't doubt me cas I'm never giving up<br>\r\nSteph Curry on a dunk sometimes I'm trippin up<br>\r\nSteady on my grind enemies I'm rippin up,<br>\r\nNo spoilers here so that's enough <\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[Peter B. Parker (Insane Ian)]:<br>\r\nHi I'm Pete, It's sure nice to meet ya<br>\r\nI fight supervillains (when I'm not eating pizza)<br>\r\nI'm just like that last guy, tho my hair is much darker<br>\r\nMy driver's license says my name's Peter B. Parker<br>\r\nTho starker in contrast, we're really quite alike<br>\r\nMy guts a little larger but of the two, well, I'm alive<br>\r\nBut if a girl gets kidnapped and she's thrown inside a van<br>\r\nWell I'm another friendly neighborhood Spider-Man!<br>\r\nThought I was alone (not just cause MJ left me)<br>\r\nStruggled through a portal (cause I might be kinda hefty)<br>\r\nLanded in this city, met this little kiddie<br>\r\nHe was bitten by a spider like the one that went and bit me<br>\r\nNow I'm a mentor, teach this kid the ropes<br>\r\nOn how to be a hero and to give people hope<br>\r\nResponsibility & Power, and before you have to ask<br>\r\nAlways wash your suit and never sneeze inside the mask<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[Gwen Stacy (Bonnie Gordon)]:<br>\r\nHey guys, it's Gwen, and I have been<br>\r\nLiving as the one and only Spider-Woman<br>\r\nBit by a spider and I might've got here first<br>\r\nAnd I'm from another, another universe<br>\r\nI don't do friends, got two or three styles<br>\r\nAnd I'm not helping you through puberty, Miles<br>\r\nYou were a big help and I'm glad you were there but<br>\r\nNo, you don't get to like my haircut<br>\r\nI've been protecting my version of New York<br>\r\nWithout ever expecting any help for the work<br>\r\nNow lots of spider people are infesting these nights<br>\r\nOf all of you I look best in these tights<br>\r\nBut still, it's nice that support has appeared<br>\r\n'Cause this whole experience has been royally weird<br>\r\nBut if I'm not mistaken, there's more for us to see<br>\r\nAnd do I smell bacon?  [Spider-Ham (TV's Kyle)]: That would be me<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[Spider-Ham (TV's Kyle)]:<br>\r\nYou're not hallucinatin', Gwen, you know who I am!<br>\r\nI'm your friendly neighborhood Spider-Ham<br>\r\nWhere's Ducktor Doom? I'll give him a tackle!<br>\r\nAnd then I'll take a selfie for J. Jonah Jackal<br>\r\nGot a hospital and a horse got loose?<br>\r\nCall Peter Porker. I'll Chuck Jones his caboose!<br>\r\nI'll frolic and I'll dance and I'll do this with my pants<br>\r\nand I'll whack him on the snoot! Man, he'll never stand a chance<br>\r\nI got a big hammer and you know I'm gonna club ya<br>\r\nMy Marvel Tails will make you go \"What The?!\"<br>\r\nKingpin and Liv, man, who the heck is that?<br>\r\nReminds me of KingPig and Dr Octopussycat<br>\r\nI've heard folks have been shipping me and Noir.<br>\r\nJust pray Mary Jane Waterbuffalo don't know who you are<br>\r\nIn Gwen's subconscious, you could say that I steered her<br>\r\nDoes that sound weird? It CAN get weirder<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[Peni Parker (LEX the Lexicon Artist)]:<br>\r\nThis is my spider, I'm Peni P, we are<br>\r\nA dynamic duo, call me SP\/\/dr<br>\r\nI might be kawaii but that don't mean that I'm weak<br>\r\nBecause I pack a streak of genius in my teeny physique<br>\r\nSee I pilot this machine with my psychic connection<br>\r\nWe scale the highest ceilings like the guys in Inception<br>\r\nProtecting New York City from malevolent creatures<br>\r\nAnd we're messing with their systems like professional griefers <br>\r\nMy father left to join the Black Parade<br>\r\nNow it's up to me to carry on the masquerade<br>\r\nI have to say, my mech suit is better than Tony's<br>\r\nIt can send you to your death with twenty seven emojis, homie<br>\r\nSo don't be stunting cause I'm small and I'm cute<br>\r\nI crawl in the suit, all of a sudden I'm taller than you<br>\r\nThat's all that I do, a supercomputer not a shooter of webs<br>\r\nHere from the future to save you losers or you would be dead<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[Spider-Man Noir (the great Luke Ski)]:<br>\r\nThe wind follows me, it smells like rain.<br>\r\nSURPRIZE ATTACK! You mugs will feel my pain.<br>\r\nUncle Benjamin was eaten by Vulture. So gory,<br>\r\nBut it makes a good hard-core origin story.<br>\r\nI'm Spider-Noir, the color thing is new to me,<br>\r\nUnlike egg creams and moral ambiguity.<br>\r\nWrong or right? I don't know what to say!<br>\r\nAm I black or white, or 50 shades of grey?<br>\r\nYou wanna dance in a biscuit box session?<br>\r\nI'll crash you harder than the Great Depression!<br>\r\nI'm trying a fedora. Future fashion is wild,<br>\r\nBut punching a Nazi is never out of style.<br>\r\nJust like 6 bullets in a snub .45,<br>\r\nWe're Web Warriors, takin' nobody's jive.<br>\r\nOut of all of the fellas, I cause the most fright,<br>\r\n'Cuz I am the terror that THWIPS in the night!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[Spider-Ham (TV's Kyle)]:<br>\r\nIs he allowed to say that? Legally?<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>Into the Spider Verse is an amazing movie and if you haven't seen it you really need to rethink some of your life's choices.  Also, you won't really understand this song.  This is a huge, epic group jam about the film featuring Creative Mind Frame (aka 1-UP), Insane Ian, Bonnie Gordon, TV's Kyle, LEX the Lexicon Artists, and the great Luke Ski where we each take a verse as a character from the movie.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2019-02-03","albums":"","listen":"1","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"spider-verses-song-art.jpg","albumId":"30","cover":"the-anarchists-jokebook-1280.jpg","url":"the-anarchists-jokebook"},{"id":"317","title":"Stupid Rap Battles 3: Mayo vs Gilbert","artist":"1","file":"Stupid_Rap_Battles_3_Mayo_vs_Gilbert.mp3","freemp3":"Stupid_Rap_Battles_3_Mayo_vs_Gilbert.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>Ladies and gentlemen!  Welcome to Stupid Rap Battles!  In this corner, weighing in at 15 pounds, with a manufacturer's suggested retail price of $12.99, and an expiration date in the 22nd century, it's a club size container of mayonnaise!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>And in this corner, a man with no discernible talent, no concept of social boundaries, who enjoys imitating a legendary comedian who weighs in at 175 pounds, it's a cheap Gilbert Gottfried impression.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>\"Hey!  I'm not cheap!  I was paid handsomely for this!  Look, I got a sticker and everything.\"<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Ugh.  Whatever.  Begin!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Oh God, it's that voice again<br>\r\nLike the nails on the chalkboard noise again<br>\r\nBut you know what really adds to my deep aggravation<br>\r\nYou're not even real, just a cheap imitation<br>\r\nWhy in God's name would you mimic Gottfried <br>\r\nDid you think that it would help your career? Godspeed<br>\r\nLook what it did for his, I mean not the best luck<br>\r\n'Cause gee wiz, he was fired from playing a duck<br>\r\nI'm a good buy, I can save you money<br>\r\nAnd I'm perfectly mixed, I'm not dry or runny<br>\r\nYou'll be glad you came, take a stab and see<br>\r\nA sandwich ain't the same without a dab from me<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Who the hell would want that much mayonnaise?<br>\r\nWhat, do you use it for snow on the holidays?<br>\r\nAre you planning to spackle your walls?<br>\r\nOr do you have a body hidden that you need to dissolve?<br>\r\nI'll admit one of my biggest fears<br>\r\nIs eating BLT sandwiches for 400 years<br>\r\nWho are you feeding, an entire chorus line?<br>\r\nOr does your wife have another secret family... or nine?<br>\r\nOr maybe just your Mom, she likes a topping<br>\r\nBut now you need a trailer to go grocery shopping<br>\r\nIf you fell off the shelf you'd win the fight with a K.O.<br>\r\nNobody needs a whole barrel of mayo!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Yeah, and nobody needs another Gilbert impression<br>\r\nBut you do it like it feeds some compulsive obsession<br>\r\nI feel like it's had ample time to work<br>\r\nYou sound like that on purpose, and I'm the jerk?<br>\r\nIt's grating and annoying and it raises blood pressure<br>\r\nPounding on my ears like a male Fran Drescher<br>\r\nWhen I saw your face I could tell it would sting<br>\r\nIt wouldn't be so bad but you yell everything<br>\r\nA thought comes around and you feel you should share it<br>\r\nSpare it, you sound like a drill sergeant's parrot<br>\r\nThe noise needs to stop before you devalue housing<br>\r\nYour voice give me chills, like the HAL9000<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I'm sorry, Devo, I'm afraid I can't do that<br>\r\nScrew that, people like me, I thought you knew that<br>\r\nSure you may be cheaper by the pound at the mall<br>\r\nBut they'd save more money if they didn't buy you at all<br>\r\nI don't like the taste, let alone the smell, man<br>\r\nYou're not even a brand name, what the Hellman?<br>\r\nPeople really shop in the overkill section?<br>\r\nHaven't seen that much white stuff since I had that infection<br>\r\nI make people laugh in an unusual way<br>\r\nIf I say your name backwards will you please go away?<br>\r\nDeerftog Treblig, Umm,... so...<br>\r\nDid you really think that would work?  Eat me!  NO!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Who won?  Who cares?  Who said anything about a horse?<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>YOU FOOL!!!<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>The great Luke Ski takes on the role of \"a cheap Gilbert Gottfried impersonator\" and squares off against Devo Spice as \"a club-size container of mayonnaise\" in the latest Stupid Rap Battle.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2019-02-03","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"30","cover":"the-anarchists-jokebook-1280.jpg","url":"the-anarchists-jokebook"},{"id":"318","title":"Trick or Treatin'","artist":"1","file":"Trick_or_Treatin.mp3","freemp3":"Trick_or_Treatin.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>As a kid Halloween was quite the big deal<br>\r\nWhat I did was eat candy each night as a meal<br>\r\nFrom a stash so big you'd think it fell off a truck<br>\r\nAnd I tell you I could swim in it like Scrooge McDuck<br>\r\nMy costumes made Mrs. Rosenberg plotz<br>\r\nI don't know what that means but she said it a lot<br>\r\nEach year we would take our game to the next level<br>\r\nAnd we'd make our way through town like the Tazmanian Devil<br>\r\nMy friends would come visit my vast neighborhood<br>\r\nThen we'd finish up with theirs just as fast as we could<br>\r\nThen the plan was we'd all switch costumes and then<br>\r\nIf we can go back out and do the whole thing again<br>\r\nSince I'm out of school ain't no more trick or treatin'<br>\r\nHave to go the store, buy the candy that I'm eatin'<br>\r\nThat's lame, it isn't the same as back then<br>\r\nIf only I could go trick or treatin' again<br>\r\nTrick or treatin', y'all<br>\r\nTrick or treatin', y'all<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Just once, I wanna go and do it again<br>\r\nGet dressed up and go through the neighborhood with my friends<br>\r\nIf I could man, I'd be taking my shot<br>\r\nI should, heh... well why not?<br>\r\nMaybe I could dress up like a ghost or a ghoul or<br>\r\nSomething and they'll think I'm a tall middle-schooler<br>\r\nYeah, I'll be covered from head to toe<br>\r\nAin't no way I'll be discovered, how would they know?<br>\r\nMaybe I could walk on my knees to look short<br>\r\nOr talk with some kind of voice changer of sorts<br>\r\nAnd use more young-people slang when I speak<br>\r\nDo kids still say that things are \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c5\u201con fleek?\u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00c2\u009d<br>\r\nI know it's a plan that I should outgrow<br>\r\nBut throw a sheet over my head and I'm good to go<br>\r\nGot the spreadsheet ready for the official tally<br>\r\nI just hope no one thinks I'm headin' to a Klan rally<br>\r\nTrick or treatin', y'all<br>\r\nI'm doing it, man!<br>\r\nTrick or treatin', y'all<br>\r\nI'm actually doing it!  I'm actually going out!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>*ding dong*<br>\r\nDevo: \"Trick or treat!\"<br>\r\nLuke: \"Oh, hey Devo.  Taking the kids trick-or-treating, eh?  Um... where are the kids?\"<br>\r\nDevo: \"No kids.  Just me.  Trick or treat.\"<br>\r\n*slam*<br>\r\nDevo: \"Oh well.\"<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>*ding dong*<br>\r\nDevo in weird voice: \"Trick or treat!\"<br>\r\nCarrie: \"Hey Devo.  What's up?\"<br>\r\nDevo in weird voice: \"I'm not Devo.  I'm Billy from... the... next town over.\"<br>\r\n*slam*<br>\r\nDevo: \"Dammit.\"<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>*ding dong*<br>\r\nDevo with voice changer: \"Trick or treat!\"<br>\r\nChris: \"Hi Tom.  Uh, where's the rest of your crew?\"<br>\r\nDevo with voice changer: \"*sigh* Just... trick or treat... just put some candy in the bag.\"<br>\r\n*slam*<br>\r\nDevo: \"UGH!\"<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>*ding ding ding ding ding ding ding*  (Doorbell's broken!)<br>\r\nShoebox: \"Devo, hi.  Um, I thought the rally was moved to next Saturday.\"<br>\r\nDevo: \"What?  I... uh... Oh come on!\"<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>OK fine, so that's how it's gonna be then<br>\r\nGuess I'll be a kid again and get my sweet revenge<br>\r\nI can TP your house or throw eggs at your door<br>\r\nBut wait, I'm an adult and this begs for more<br>\r\nI'll get all your family info and then post on Reddit<br>\r\nOr get a loan in your name and there goes your credit<br>\r\nI said I hoped it wouldn't have to come down to that<br>\r\nBut all it would've cost you is a damn Kit Kat<br>\r\nBut no, so I guess I'll give the classics a try<br>\r\nI shop at Costco, you know how many eggs I can buy?<br>\r\nIt'll be weeks before it goes away<br>\r\nAnd I'm sure you'll get a fine from the HOA<br>\r\nSo remember next year when I come to your door<br>\r\nMake the candy appear or I'm funding a war<br>\r\nIf not you'll find out just how mean I can be<br>\r\nWhen it seems you didn't get a Christmas card from me<br>\r\nTrick or treatin', y'all<br>\r\nAnd I'll do it too!<br>\r\nTrick or treatin', y'all<br>\r\nI'm just that crazy!<br>\r\nTrick or treatin', y'all<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"They always say trick-or-treating is for kids. But what is the cut-off age? At what point are you \"too old\" to go trick-or-treating? I maintain you are never too old to go trick-or-treating. The other adults in the neighborhood may disagree, however.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2017-10-30","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"30","cover":"the-anarchists-jokebook-1280.jpg","url":"the-anarchists-jokebook"},{"id":"320","title":"Grouchy Smurf Mumble Rap","artist":"1","file":"Grouchy_Smurf_Mumble_Rap.mp3","freemp3":"Grouchy_Smurf_Mumble_Rap.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>La la lala la la, la lala la la<br>\r\nLa la lala la la, la lala la la<br>\r\nLa la (song continues)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Grouchy Smurf: I hate that song!<br>\r\nPapa Smurf: Yes, perhaps it is getting a bit dull. Mumbly Smurf, why don't you bust some smurfy rhymes for us?\r\nMumbly Smurf: Sure thing, Papa Smurf!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>The party don't start till we're smurfin'<br>\r\nBreak open the bottle and smurf it<br>\r\nPass it around drink it down and then smurf it<br>\r\nHow we go, you know that it's worth it<br>\r\nYou oughta stay off o' my turf, 'cuz<br>\r\nI'm hard, you soft as a Nerf is<br>\r\nBeat you down so they never unearth you<br>\r\nSo stay the smurf back mothersmurfer<br>\r\nMy homies and I will go surfin'<br>\r\nRide Azrael to the end of the earth and<br>\r\nFind Gargamel and then send him to smurf and<br>\r\nSmurf all the smurfberries, now we're smurfin'<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(Chorus)\r\nLa la lala la la<br>\r\nGrouchy: I hate mumble rap (repeat)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Brainy Smurf: You know mumble rap started because a rapper named Future was in the studio, and he was high as smurf, and he just kind of mumbled his way through the song, and the record company used it!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Grouchy Smurf: I hate Future! (fade out)...and Migos, and Desiigner, and Lil Yachty, and Lil Pump, and Lil Uzi Vert, and Lil Xan, in fact I hate ALL the Lil rappers! ...and Rich Homie Quan, and Kodak Black, and 21 Savage, and Ty Dolla $ign, and Lanze, and Smokkpurp, and Kap G, and Rich the Kid, and Playboi Carti, and NBA YoungBoy, and Famous Dex...<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"Recently I asked for suggestions for ridiculous song topics on my Facebook page and I got tons of great suggestions. But the one that really stood out to me was \"Grouchy Smurf Mumble Rap,\" which was suggested by Joshua James Taylor. (Actually, is suggestion was \"Grumpy Smurf Mumble Rap,\" but Grumpy is a Dwarf, not a Smurf.) I know he was probably expecting Grouchy to do the actual rapping but I didn't think that would be funny enough for a whole song, so I took a slightly different approach.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2019-10-26","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"1","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"321","title":"Old Source Code","artist":"1","file":"Old_Source_Code.mp3","freemp3":"Old_Source_Code.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"Old Town Road by Li'l Nas X featuring Billy Ray Cy","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>Man, this code is a mess!<br>\r\nWhat does this function even do?  It looks like it just returns 3 no matter what the input is.<br>\r\nAnd why would you... oh no.  Oh God.  <br>\r\nI wrote this!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Yeah, after I take one look at my old source code<br>\r\nI wanna cry till I can't no more<br>\r\nAfter I take one look at my old source code<br>\r\nI wonder what did I do that for<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I got the IDE to load, NPM and Node<br>\r\nBut I can't read the code, and it doesn't work in dark mode<br>\r\nKicked me out to Bash, still requires Flash<br>\r\n\/* This comment needs to be here or the whole thing's gonna crash *\/<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Can't nobody run my program<br>\r\nYou can't run my program (repeat)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Code is really sucky, must've got real lucky<br>\r\nCan't even explain it to a little rubber ducky<br>\r\nDon't know why that's left in, array startin' at seven<br>\r\nMaybe I can blame it on my predecessor Kevin<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Can't nobody read my source code<br>\r\nYou can't read my source code<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Cuz when I take a look at my old source code<br>\r\nI wanna scream until my throat gets sore<br>\r\nI wanna take an axe to my old source code<br>\r\nSo I don't dream in error logs no more<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Head down deep frown drinkin' lots of coffee<br>\r\nTryin' to wrap my head around this code I wrote so awfully<br>\r\nRan it through a linter just to see what it would show me<br>\r\nAll that it would output is a giant poop emoji<br>\r\nGot no tabs I admit my crimes<br>\r\nI was a savage who preferred to hit space four times<br>\r\nWish I could roll on back to my first commit<br>\r\nBut I just can't because I've broken GIT <\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I'm gonna take a torch to my old source code<br>\r\nAnd watch it burn 'til it don't suck no more<br>\r\nI'm gonna r-m-dash-f my old source code<br>\r\nSo I don't flog myself to sleep no more<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>So how are we coming on that new feature?<br>\r\nEh, it's gonna be a while.  This code base is a real mess.<br>\r\nThe person who wrote it was a real idiot, huh?  Hehe<br>\r\nSomething like that.<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>One of the worst things about being a computer programmer is picking up a project that someone else started. There will invariably be differences in coding styles that you will either have to adapt to or work around, and almost always the person who worked on the project before you was an idiot undeserving of the job title \"programmer.\"<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>And one of the worst feelings in the world is looking at that terrible code and realizing you were the idiot who wrote it.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2020-02-18","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"1","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"322","title":"Everything Is Cancelled","artist":"1","file":"Everything_Is_Cancelled.mp3","freemp3":"Everything_Is_Cancelled.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"Everything Is Awesome by Tegan and Sara","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p><p>[chorus]<br>\r\nEverything is cancelled!<br>\r\nEverything is closed 'cause we're all quarantined<br>\r\nEverything is cancelled!<br>\r\n'Cause of COVID-19<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[v1]<br>\r\nEverything is shut down<br>\r\nWe can't get together<br>\r\nIt's like we're playing Minecraft <br>\r\nAnd we're stuck in the Nether<br>\r\nWe'll get out whenever<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>If you still have a job them maybe<br>\r\nYou'll be working remotely<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[v2]<br>\r\n(Woo, 3, 2, 1, close!)<br>\r\nHave you heard the news?  Everything's cancelled<br>\r\nTime to stock up on toilet paper and candles<br>\r\nLost my job, time to learn how to forage<br>\r\n'Cause I don't think think they will cancel my mortgage<br>\r\nI feel like I have prepped my whole life<br>\r\nAfter years being home all alone Friday nights<br>\r\nThree years later we emerged with a cheer<br>\r\nWith light blindness and an awesome beard<br>\r\nGotta stay home?  Don't mine that, but<br>\r\nIf the internet breaks there will be blood!<br>\r\n(will be blood, will be blood...)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[v3]<br>\r\nAnd you can't always tell<br>\r\nWho is sick among us<br>\r\nSo we stay far away<br>\r\nWe keep six feet between us<br>\r\nInstead of above us<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I'm like you, you're like me, we're stuck home<br>\r\nWith our stupid family<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[v4]<br>\r\nLunch dates, Tinder flings<br>\r\nWe just named two cancelled things<br>\r\nA high school dance, snorkeling<br>\r\nYou know what's cancelled?  Everything!<br>\r\nMovies, plays, Emmys, Tonys<br>\r\nThe liquor store is drive-thru only<br>\r\nRestaurants, concerts, places to swim<br>\r\nAt least we don't have to go to the gym<br>\r\nNBA, NFL<br>\r\nNHL, they're cancelled!<br>\r\nXFR, what's that?<br>\r\nI don't know but, it's cancelled!<br>\r\nMy retirement, health insurance<br>\r\nThe election, (what?) they're cancelled!<br>\r\nAnd what's worse my date with Emma<br>\r\nWatson is cancelled <br>\r\n(I don't think that was gonna happen anyway.<br>\r\nShut up.)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(chorus)<br>\r\nVIRUS!...<br>\r\nNO VACCINES!...<br>\r\nCONTINUED SELF-ISOLATION!...<br>\r\nNETFLIX!... KINDA MAKES IT BETTER!...<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>The title pretty much says it all. Everything is cancelled, at least for the time being.  For those listening to this song in the post-apocalyptic future this song was recording towards the beginning of the coronavirus pandemic of 2020.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>This is a parody of \"Everything Is Awesome\" from The LEGO Movie, inspired by a meme I saw. Big thank you to Luke Ski, Carrie Dahlby, and Blythe Renay for the vocal help with this song.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2020-03-22","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"1","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"everything-is-cancelled-song-art-full.jpg","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"323","title":"Haunted by My Kid's Dead Hamster","artist":"1","file":"Haunted_by_My_Kids_Dead_Hamster.mp3","freemp3":"Haunted_by_My_Kids_Dead_Hamster.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>I'm going nuts, I can't sleep, I can't think<br>\r\nI hear squeaks, everywhere I hear peeps, on the brink<br>\r\nOf a breakdown, all I want is peace but the sound<br>\r\nWill never cease, it seems to be surrounding me with ease<br>\r\nLike a cage made of wire with some bedding on the floor<br>\r\nIt's closing in, and I don't like this setting anymore<br>\r\nIt's getting to the point, that is nobody believes<br>\r\nWhen I tell them what I see in the halls surrounding me<br>\r\nAll around I see the walls turn into a maze<br>\r\nAnd they'll trap me here for days, until I'm completely crazed<br>\r\nI know that he's come back but don't know why he would appear<br>\r\n'Cause Mr. Fuzzyfluffykins died last year<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I wanna know why this cuddly little guy is haunting<br>\r\nMe, and why nobody else can seem to see him<br>\r\nThis fuzzy little being seems to pick on me the most<br>\r\nHe's not friendly like Casper the fluffy little ghost<br>\r\nWhen he passed I was crushed, and oh so many cried<br>\r\nAnd I wasn't the one who went and flushed him when he died<br>\r\nI never held him too tight, and never forced a snuggle<br>\r\nAnd I never used him once when I was learning how to juggle<br>\r\nIs it 'cause I didn't oil the wheel when it squeaked?<br>\r\nOr maybe 'cause when I forgot to feed him for a week?<br>\r\nAh whatever, he died a hero's glorious death<br>\r\nAs a warrior's beloved sacrifice to Ak' ba L'eth<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I call upon thee, Ak' ba L'eth<br>\r\nAccept the sacrifice of Mr. Fuzzyfluffykins<br>\r\nHear my plea!<br>\r\nCome forth and smite my enemies!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>...I mean, poor little hamster.<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>Ridiculous Rap, suggested by Tom Reed<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>This song was debuted at an online concert I did with Rob Paravonian during the great pandemic of 2020.  I performed four of my Ridiculous Raps, ending the show with the debut of this one.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2020-04-12","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"1","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"324","title":"Zoom Meeting","artist":"1","file":"Zoom_Meeting.mp3","freemp3":"Zoom_Meeting.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"\"Rump Shaker\" by Wreckx-n-Effect","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>(chorus)<br>\r\nAll I wanna do is Zoom-a-Zoom Zoom Zoom from my spare room<br>\r\nJust work from home! (repeat 4 times)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(checks)<br>\r\nCheck, maybe, check, maybe, one, two, three, four<br>\r\nCheck, maybe, check, am I coming through OK?<br>\r\nCheck, maybe, check, can you guys see me?<br>\r\nCheck, maybe, check, OK<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(verse 1)<br>\r\nIt's called a Zoom meeting, it's needed when you're working remotely<br>\r\nI'm feeling lonely, and this software is the only<br>\r\nConnection I have to my team back in the office<br>\r\nSix meetings by noon, I think I'm never getting off this<br>\r\nTurn on the camera so they see my face<br>\r\nBut never will they ever see a thing below the waist<br>\r\nNow since I got the background to appear, can you guess<br>\r\nWhere I am?  Here's a hint, it's got a long park tram<br>\r\nPass control so you can try to make your point<br>\r\nAgain, but when you share your screen I'm seeing dirty pics of men<br>\r\nBut now I should mute my mic as I start eating<br>\r\nSo they don't hear me eat my lunch on a Zoom meeting<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(chorus)<br>\r\nAll I wanna do is Zoom-a-Zoom Zoom Zoom from my spare room (first time with mouth full)<br>\r\nJust eat your lunch! (repeat 4 times)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(checks)<br>\r\nCheck, maybe, check, maybe, one, two, three, four<br>\r\nYiggity yes<br>\r\nCheck, maybe, Ian, are you on? <br>\r\nYup yup<br>\r\nIan I can see you but I don't hear anything<br>\r\nYup yup<br>\r\nCheck, maybe, check, OK<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(verse 2)<br>\r\nYup yup, it's working, certain 'cause with Zoom I'm an artist<br>\r\nVirtual background got me inside the TARDIS<br>\r\nWhat I need with these responsibilities that I'm shirking<br>\r\nIs a virtual foreground so it looks like I'm working<br>\r\nThis meeting is boring to the core of my being<br>\r\nBut doing it in my underwear is quite freeing<br>\r\nNot mean to cut you off, not mean to interrupt<br>\r\nBut yup, there's a lag, and it keeps popping up<br>\r\nI like the way you... no you go<br>\r\nDo you think that... oh go ahead<br>\r\nI like the way you... go ahead<br>\r\nDo you think that... sorry, you go<br>\r\nI just wanted to say... ugh!<br>\r\nI was gonna say that... no you go<br>\r\n(spoken): I'm glad I didn't get out of bed for this<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(chorus)<br>\r\nAll I wanna do is Zoom-a-Zoom Zoom Zoom from my bedroom<br>\r\nIt's such a dump! (repeat 4 times)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(verse 3)<br>\r\nTake it, take it, take it, now take it<br>\r\nI can take every Zoom meeting buck naked<br>\r\nBandwidth is bad 'cause Netflix is streaming<br>\r\nWon't turn off my mic so you'll hear my kid screaming<br>\r\nI didn't shave my face (shave it!) I didn't cut my hair<br>\r\nMy uncle's walking 'round in his ratty underwear<br>\r\nCome on, pass the controls so I can stream<br>\r\nShare it, baby, share it, baby, share my new meme<br>\r\nI can hack into another room, (room!) and make<br>\r\nA fake name, boom!  Ralph Kramden with the Bang-Zoom!  (ooooohhh)<br>\r\nThe way I'm making it mine is just a sign<br>\r\nThat I'm a troll with a whole lot of time<br>\r\nBut I ain't in this meeting, just harassing <br>\r\nAnd I ain't turning off my camera when I'm in the bathroom<br>\r\nNo, no no. No! No-NO NO!!<br>\r\nYeah, watch it, baby, watch it baby, watch it like that!<br>\r\nAww, stop it, dude, stop it, oh God, shut it off!<br>\r\nAhh! Dammit, someone ban him!  Please ban him right now!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(chorus)<br>\r\nAll I wanna do is Zoom-a-Zoom Zoom Zoom from my bathroom<br>\r\nJust take a dump! (repeat 4 times)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(spoken outro)<br>\r\nI heard Zoom sends all your data to China.<br>\r\nFree Taiwan!  There.  Now they won't.<br>\r\nOK, I gotta jump off.  I got a ten o'clock.<br>\r\nOK.  My dog needs to go out anyway.<br>\r\nI heard the President's having a meeting with the Joint Chiefs.  I'm gonna try to crash it.<br>\r\nOK, good luck!<br>\r\nTalk to you later.<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>Since the pandemic started and people started having to stay at home video conferencing software has gotten a huge spike in uptake and Zoom, for reasons unknown, came out on top, growing from 10 million active daily users to over 200 million. Clearly it's the software of choice despite not being the first to market, a series of security vulnerabilities, and ties to the Chinese government. I use it myself for The FuMPCast each week and have for several years now.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I've been working from home since mid-March and, coronavirus aside, I <em>like<\/em> working from home. One day I said \"All I wanna do is stay home and Zoom...\" and this parody popped into my mind. Big thank yous to the great Luke Ski and Insane Ian for joining this Zoom party with me, plus Linzilla for the sax, and Shoebox for the \"come on!\"<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>lyrics, music: Tom Rockwell<br>\r\nsaxophone: Lindsay Smith<br>\r\nvocals: Tom Rockwell, Ian Bonds, Luke Sienkowski<br>\r\n\"come on\": Tim Crist<\/p>\r\n\r\n<!--<img src=\"\/assets\/images\/song-art\/zoom-meeting-song-art.jpg\">-->","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2020-06-27","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"1","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"zoom-meeting-song-art.jpg","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"325","title":"WAPC (Wet-Ass Pussy Cat)","artist":"1","file":"WAPC_(Wet-Ass_Pussy_Cat).mp3","freemp3":"WAPC_(Wet-Ass_Pussy_Cat).mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"WAP by Cardi B and Meghan Thee Stallion","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>When a cat needs a bath, here's some words you must heed<br>\r\nA wet-ass pussy can make that artery bleed!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Yeah yeah yeah yeah<br>\r\nYeah, be careful with that wet-ass pussy<br>\r\nThe cat will go berserk when you wash that pussy<br>\r\nPlan to take a day off work after you wash that pussy<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Pick it up, give it all you got<br>\r\nFill the water, but not too hot<br>\r\nPut the pussy right in the bath<br>\r\nSwipe your nose with a fast onslaught<br>\r\nStay on top, holding it down<br>\r\nNot underwater, don't let it drown<br>\r\nBlood in my mouth, rage in his eye<br>\r\nWhen he comes out, I'm gonna die<br>\r\nHold him up, hang by his tail<br>\r\nFor my sake, I wear chain mail<br>\r\nI just need to wash this damn cat<br>\r\nNow to get rid of all of his fleas<br>\r\nHear it scream, hear it yell<br>\r\nLike a demon beast from Hell<br>\r\nI will wash, till you don't smell<br>\r\nBut I can tell you this will not end well<br>\r\nWailin' and flailin', grab on the railing<br>\r\nHe jumped out but I grabbed him by the tail again<br>\r\nHe whipped around with his claws and he jabbed 'em in<br>\r\nI look down and there's blood on my abdomen<br>\r\nPain's intense, I see stars<br>\r\nI'm pretty sure that it's gonna leave scars<br>\r\nReally ain't never felt a pain that burns<br>\r\nEven when I sat through Superman Returns<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I got some gauze and some stitches from this wet-ass pussy<br>\r\nI think I need a tourniquet 'cause my blood is gushing<br>\r\nIt's like something from The Shining from this wet-ass pussy<br>\r\nNow I think I'm gonna faint 'cause I'm feeling woozy<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Look, I need a face shield, need a flak jacket<br>\r\nNeed a suit of armor and a weed wacker<br>\r\nNot pessimistic, but the conclusion<br>\r\nIs an ambulance and a transfusion<br>\r\nI wanted pets, a cute little tabby<br>\r\nI should've got one that wasn't so stabby <br>\r\nThey should've warned me, proceed with caution<br>\r\nTake out insurance when you try to wash him<br>\r\nI don't want to do this at all anymore<br>\r\nMy left arm is numb, my right arm is sore<br>\r\nI never thought something that's so cute<br>\r\nCould result in this kind of gore<br>\r\nThere's blood on the tub, there's tears in my eye<br>\r\nThe water is red, the cat is still dry<br>\r\nIt's just a small kitten, not a giant cougar<br>\r\nThe cat of my dreams became Freddy Krueger<br>\r\nI wanna have a clean cat, Lord knows I'm tryin'<br>\r\nSlash my wrist, make me feel like I'm dyin'<br>\r\nSwitchin' up his shape like a Power Ranger morphin'<br>\r\nI think eating barbed wire might've been more fun<br>\r\nThe thanks I get, I'm the one that feeds ya<br>\r\nThen he licks his ass, and makes me bleed, ugh<br>\r\nSome days I wish I got a gerbil<br>\r\nHe can make you think that he's a harmless furball<br>\r\nNow I can't see, through the thick steam<br>\r\nCan't find the cat, but I think it's clean<br>\r\nBut at this point, I just don't care<br>\r\nWhen I'm finally done it's a crime scene<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Yeah yeah yeah <br>\r\nYeah, be careful with that wet-ass pussy<br>\r\nThe cat will go berserk when you wash that pussy<br>\r\nPlan to take a day off work after you wash that pussy<br>\r\nFrom the ears to the tail that's a wet-ass pussy<br>\r\nAll the neighbors hear it wail, that's a wet-ass pussy<br>\r\nI'm talkin' (*reer!* *hiss!* *thwp!*) that's a mad-ass pussy<br>\r\nA wood chipper's got nothin' on this wet-ass pussy<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Carrie: 911, what's the nature of your emergency?<br>\r\nDevo: I tried to give my cat a bath.<br>\r\nCarrie: OK, sir help is on the way.  I need you to stay on the line with me, OK?  Can you do that?<br>\r\nDevo: uuuhhhghh  so...much....blood<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion recently released a sex-positive anthem called \"WAP\" and it very quickly became a huge hit for a variety of reasons, including its catchy sample and beat, its controversial nature, its frank and explicit discussion of sex, and for just pissing off people who think women shouldn't be allowed to enjoy sex.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>While not trying to take anything away from this song\u00e2\u20ac\u201dI think it's great\u00e2\u20ac\u201dmy brain immediately went \"how can I parody this?\" because that's what it does. After bouncing a few ideas around in my head for a while I chuckled when I realized I could keep the same \"wet-ass pussy\" theme of the song and just change it to be about attempting to bathe a cat. And here we are.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2020-08-13","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"1","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"wapc-song-art-250.jpg","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"326","title":"Mandalorian","artist":"1","file":"Mandalorian.mp3","freemp3":"Mandalorian.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"\"Method Man\" by Wu-Tang Clan","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>Yoda: <br>\r\nFrom the deserts of Mandalore he comes.  Strikes again, Din Djarin does.  With wrist rockets, and jet packs, and far more dialog than Boba Fett, he has.  The Mandalorian, he is.<br>\r\n<br>\r\nM.A.N.Dalorian<br>\r\nM.A.N.Dalorian<br>\r\nM.A.N.Dalorian<br>\r\nM.A.N.Dalorian<br>\r\n<br>\r\nHey, you, put down that child<br>\r\nYou don't know me and you don't know my style<br>\r\nAlways gets my man when I come with a plan<br>\r\nHere I am, I'm the Mandalorian<br>\r\nPew pew pew!  From the blasters on my wrist<br>\r\nUnlike stormtroopers I rarely miss<br>\r\nGot some beskar, paid for a favor<br>\r\nThat stuff is impervious to lightsabers<br>\r\nWham!  Track my man from here to Hoth<br>\r\nAnd I don't ever take my helmet off<br>\r\nStyle is classic, straight from the Tribe<br>\r\nYou be like, oh man, can't describe<br>\r\nPiss me off and watch me get buc-wu-wu-wild<br>\r\nAnd then go and blow everything up<br>\r\nUpside, downside, inside and outside<br>\r\nHittin' you from every angle, there's no doubt I<br>\r\nAlways complete my mission<br>\r\nAnd have great aim with no peripheral vision<br>\r\nBack, now please pay for what I did<br>\r\nHold up, what, what's gonna happen to the kid<br>\r\nRight there?  I know I'm paid up and we're square<br>\r\nBut this doesn't look like a daycare, and I can't<br>\r\nSit back and watch him get killed, so<br>\r\nI'm about to break every rule in the Guild<br>\r\nComin' like raw, ooh-ahh, break him out<br>\r\nTell me now exactly what you gonna do about<br>\r\nI saved the kid from hardship, now a far trip<br>\r\nI'm hoping that he doesn't get car sick<br>\r\nWhat happened to my starship?  Huh, oh dammit!<br>\r\nAnother chop shop on the Jawa's planet<br>\r\nHey!  Hey!  Hey!  Give me that stuff back<br>\r\nMan, I can't believe that I got carjacked<br>\r\nIt's a mess<br>\r\n<br>\r\nAlright, y'all, Karga, take flank.  Dune, cover me.  IG-11, protect the child.  We're gonna take out Moff Gideon and all his imperial cronies.<br>\r\n<br>\r\nI got, a Boba Fett hat<br>\r\nI got, myself a jetpack<br>\r\nAnd I'm about to go get lifted<br>\r\nYes, I'm about to go get lifted<br>\r\nHe's got, a fast TIE Fighter<br>\r\nHe's got, a new wing rider<br>\r\nMaybe this wasn't such a great plan<br>\r\nNo, I don't think this was such a great plan, uh<br>\r\nM.O.F.F.  Moff Gideon<br>\r\nHaven't seen him since I was a young foundling<br>\r\nZoom, he hit the ground like boom!<br>\r\nBut he made it out I'll probably see him again<br>\r\nQuestion, what exactly is a Tusken Raider<br>\r\nSigned a favor, binocs we made a trade for<br>\r\nNever trust a droid, I'm a firm disbeliever<br>\r\nAlso people, don't trust them much either<br>\r\nNot an average Joe, with an average foe<br>\r\nDoing average jobs for average dough<br>\r\nKuill's an Ugnaught, a lovely old bloke<br>\r\nWho says \"I have spoken,\" uh<br>\r\nCheck it, my life can be pretty hectic<br>\r\nBut when I get a charge I collect it<br>\r\nSometimes iffy, these people are shifty<br>\r\nAll of this for a kid who's like fifty<br>\r\nLike Dark Helmet, who said with a cling<br>\r\n(*cling*) I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t breathe in this thing!<br>\r\nMandalorian, you send for <br>\r\nYes therefore I come from Mandalore<br>\r\nDuh, they raised me up when I was stray<br>\r\nChild, I'll care for him 'cause that's our way<br>\r\nSomeone tell me why I'm inclined<br>\r\nAnd how he can move things with his mind<br>\r\nMeaning I'm stuck with him and have to go look<br>\r\n'Til I can find his people in the phone book<br>\r\nBut for now my honor is restored<br>\r\nI'm clear with the Guild, kid's safely aboard<br>\r\nSo how many years will it take<br>\r\nFor me to search the galaxy for this kid's race?  Well<br>\r\nI guess that depends on the Disney clan<br>\r\nAnd just how much money they can make<br>\r\nSo before the next season\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s through<br>\r\nYou know what you are gonna have to do, please<br>\r\nJust don't make a fuss and come join up with us<br>\r\nAnd subscribe now to Disney Plus, and watch<br>\r\nThe M.A.N.Dalorian<br>\r\nM.A.N.Dalorian<br>\r\nM.A.N.Dalorian<br>\r\nHere I am, I'm the Mandalorian<br>\r\n<br>\r\nKuill:<br>\r\nStraight from the mind of the most powerful mouse on the planet.  Giving you yet another service to subscribe to.  And just when you thought it might actually be cheaper when you canceled cable!<br>\r\n<br>\r\nMickey Mouse:<br>\r\nHa!  Ha!  We got you back, sucker!<br>\r\nThis is the way.<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>For that sliver of overlap in the Venn diagram of Star Wars fans and Wu-Tang fans comes \"Mandalorian,\" a parody of \"Method Man\" from the Wu-Tang Clan's legendary debut album about the new Star Wars series on Disney+.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I wrote this song last February during FAWM and decided to wait until new episodes of The Mandalorian started airing again to release it in a desperate attempt to get the song a little extra attention. So here we are.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Lyrics, music, vocals: Devo Spice<br>\r\nCharacter voices: the great Luke Ski<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2020-12-07","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"1","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"mandalorian-song-art.jpg","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"327","title":"Stonks Only Go Up","artist":"1","file":"Stonks_Only_Go_Up.mp3","freemp3":"Stonks_Only_Go_Up.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"All the Way Up by Fat Joe","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>Go!  Go!<\/p>\r\n\t\r\n<p>[chorus 1]<br>\r\nNothin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 but rockets, they only go up<br>\r\nOnly go up<br>\r\nStonks only go up<br>\r\nStonks only go up<br>\r\nSometimes they go down but they only go up<\/p>\r\n\t\r\n<p>[verse 1]<br>\r\nThey shorted all the stock, hoping that it fell (that it fell)<br>\r\nBut Reddit runs the game, though they can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t spell (can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t spell)<br>\r\nDiamond hands holding, we ain\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t never sellin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 (never sellin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122)<br>\r\nI got twelve shares, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m the Rebellion (vvvhhoooom!) <br>\r\nGot AMC, Nokia, and GameStop, and watch \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcem go up!<br>\r\nSmooth-brained apes trying to live the dream (dream!)<br>\r\nBuy whichever stock makes the best meme (huh?)<br>\r\nPossibly the dumbest get-rich-quick scheme<\/p>\r\n\t\r\n<p>[chorus 2]<br>\r\nThey only go up<br>\r\nThey only go up<br>\r\nStonks only go up<br>\r\nStonks only go up<br>\r\nNothin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 but rockets, they only go up<\/p>\r\n\t\r\n<p>[verse 2]<br>\r\nI\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m on Reddit holding Palentir and Blackberry (oh!)<br>\r\nWe got diamonds for balls \u00e2\u20ac\u02dccause it is that scary (oh!)<br>\r\nAm I a force to be feared when I attack?  Very!<br>\r\nI just YOLO\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d the rest of my 401k<br>\r\nAnd we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll see what that brings<br>\r\nYou lost twenty billion?  Ooh, I bet that stings<br>\r\nMy stock\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s taking off like it got new wings<br>\r\nGoing ten rounds when I hear that bell ring<br>\r\nAnd it only goes up<br>\r\nAnd then it stays up<br>\r\nAnd if you ask anybody about the stock<br>\r\nJust point to the moon and say<\/p>\r\n\t\r\n<p>[chorus 3]<br>\r\nIt\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s all the way up<br>\r\nIt\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s all the way up<br>\r\nStonks only go up<br>\r\nThis isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t advice<br>\r\nDon\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t listen to me, but they only go up<\/p>\r\n\t\r\n<p>[verse 3]<br>\r\nI bought twenty million shares worth of MoviePass<br>\r\nCost thirty-five bucks and it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s moving fast<br>\r\nWith more kick to it than a smoothie has<br>\r\nBut these hedge funds are more devious than head nuns<br>\r\nIn 08, bailed out, we got the shaft<br>\r\nBut if I lose money the economy don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t crash<br>\r\nAnd now you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re butthurt, losing to an amateur<br>\r\nMoney printer goes BRRRRRR<br>\r\nThat means it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s all the way up<br>\r\nIt\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s all the way up<br>\r\nMy buddy says I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t go wrong so I bought Blockbuster<br>\r\nOoh, we dumb<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus 4]<br>\r\nBut they only go up<br>\r\nGo all the way up<br>\r\nStonks only go up<br>\r\nStonks only go up<br>\r\nSometimes they go down but they only go up<\/p>\r\n\t\r\n<p>It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s all you can eat at the Warren Buffet!<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>I've been a Reddit user for a long time (\/u\/devospice) and some time last year I discovered the \/r\/wallstreetbets community where people talk about stocks that they think are going to go up and partake in highly risky investments. It's called \"bets\" for a reason.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Last fall someone said that GameStop (GME) had been shorted by 160% and that since demand was going to outstrip supply when the shorts came due this was going to drive the price up. This made sense to me so I bought some shares. Last month the price of GameStop spiked so much it got national attention and is now being investigated by the SEC. One hedge fund who had shorted GameStop ended up losing over $20 billion on their investment.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>The people of \/r\/wallstreetbets are a special breed. They describe themselves as \"smooth brained apes\" who YOLO money they can't afford to lose on the dumbest investments they can find in the hopes that it will make them rich. For some, it has. For others, not so much. People routinely post \"loss porn\" on the site showing how much their portfolio has gone down. But thanks to these idiots my meager portfolio is up about 500% so I figured I at least owed them a song.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2021-02-18","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"1","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"stonks-song-art.jpg","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"328","title":"Dryer Portal","artist":"1","file":"Dryer_Portal.mp3","freemp3":"Dryer_Portal.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>[verse 1]<br>\r\nThe laundry gods have got me outfoxed<br>\r\nI always end up with an odd number of socks<br>\r\nAnd then I wonder a lot how this happens to me<br>\r\n'Cause you see I don't have an odd number of feet<br>\r\nBut I got an idea how they always disappear<br>\r\nAs a wormhole appeared in my dryer right here<br>\r\nCaused by the gravity that the socks displace<br>\r\nYes, the stench ripped a hole in the fabric of space<br>\r\nAnd now every time that I start another load<br>\r\nI'm afraid that the planet might randomly explode<br>\r\nI still don't understand it, there's an eerie green glow<br>\r\nFrom the portal in my dryer where all the socks go<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus]<br>\r\nThere's a hole in space at the back of my dryer<br>\r\nTravels to some place with a piece of my attire<br>\r\nAnd the situation has grown pretty dire<br>\r\nI'm about to run out of socks<br>\r\nThere's a hole in space at the back of my dryer<br>\r\nDon't know how to stop it without catching fire<br>\r\nAnd I can't afford the one my wife wants me to buy her<br>\r\nI might have to start wearing Crocs<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 2]<br>\r\nIt only seems to take one sock at a time<br>\r\nAnd it never takes the ones with holes, and I'm<br>\r\nAbout to lose my mind, 'cause it mocks and it flouts it<br>\r\nBy dropping it down randomly around the house<br>\r\nI find the odd sock any place you can think<br>\r\nLike in the microwave or the space under the sink<br>\r\nBy the side of the road, but what's really confusing<br>\r\nIs when they show up in a laundry basket I'm not using<br>\r\nThen it opens up to a tree or power lines<br>\r\nAnd my HOA sees it and that leads to fines<br>\r\nBut ultimately I've got a decision to make<br>\r\nIf I go through myself, will there be cake?<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus]<br>\r\nThere's a hole in space at the back of my dryer<br>\r\nTravels to some place with a piece of my attire<br>\r\nAnd the situation has grown pretty dire<br>\r\nI'm about to run out of socks<br>\r\nThere's a hole in space at the back of my dryer<br>\r\nDon't know how to stop it without catching fire<br>\r\nAnd I can't afford the one my wife wants me to buy her<br>\r\nGuess I have to start wearing Crocs<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>Every so often I ask my fans for ridiculous ideas for rap songs and then pick one to record. Last fall I solicited ideas but never got around to recording one. Then when MarsCon came around I decided I should probably pick one and do it so I had something new to perform. This was the result.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>This song was suggested by Insane Ian who said \"The portal in the back of the dryer where all the lost socks go.\" This was definitely something I could relate to. The rhythm you hear at the start of the song is an actual dryer, albeit not mine.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Lyrics, music, vocals: Tom Rockwell<br>\r\nTopic suggested by: Ian Bonds<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2021-04-17","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"1","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"dryer-portal.jpg","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"329","title":"Back That Thang Up","artist":"1","file":"Back_That_Thang_Up.mp3","freemp3":"Back_That_Thang_Up.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"Back That Thang Up by Juvenile","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>Crash protection is necessary if you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to lose all your data!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 1: Devo]<br>\r\nI see you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re workin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 pretty late there, that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s great yeah<br>\r\nPresentation due at eight yeah, OK yeah<br>\r\nBut that computer\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s out of date there, Gateway there<br>\r\nRunnin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 Windows 98 there, hey wait there<br>\r\nOne blip is all it takes yeah, the stakes here<br>\r\nAre pretty high when it breaks there, so take care<br>\r\nBetter make sure that it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s saved here, just click there<br>\r\nOn that weird little square there, no right there<br>\r\nI don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t wanna scare ya but back there then<br>\r\nAutosave wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t there yet but don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t despair yet<br>\r\nGotta save like a caveman in his day man<br>\r\nLike Frink likes to say man, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Oi glayvin\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<br>\r\nAn error gets deployed yeah, you won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t enjoy it<br>\r\nDo more than annoy you, it can destroy you<br>\r\nYour backups ain\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t running yet, that ain\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t funny yeah<br>\r\nIt can crash pretty sudden then you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll be done-in yeah<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus 1: Devo]<br>\r\nDude, that work\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s good, better back that thang up<br>\r\nThat\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a big presentation, better back that thang up<br>\r\nCall the IT person, back that thang up<br>\r\nYo, what is you waitin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 for, back that thang up (repeat)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 2: Devo]<br>\r\nDude, that work\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s good, better back that thang up<br>\r\nThat\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a big presentation, better back that thang up<br>\r\nMake one li\u00e2\u20ac\u2122l mistake yeah, is all it takes yeah<br>\r\nAnd the hard drive will flake and it all breaks yeah<br>\r\nIf the power flickers out then you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll shout then<br>\r\nOr if your cat comes around, knocks it to the ground then<br>\r\nOr maybe he just pees more on the keyboard<br>\r\nGet a shock and then he roared, can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be restored<br> \r\nOr maybe you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll get hacked there, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll attract there<br>\r\nA little virus attack there, get ransacked there<br>\r\nOr ransomware encrypts it, just bricks it<br>\r\n\u00e2\u20ac\u02dcCause a malformed image tricks it, you can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t fix it<br>\r\nYou\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll be out of luck there, just stuck there<br>\r\nWon\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be sayin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 \u00e2\u20ac\u0153ah shucks\u00e2\u20ac\u009d there, like a schmuck there<br>\r\nSupervillain with a scheme there, EMP there<br>\r\nBlasted off from a secret lair, and wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t he care<br>\r\nThat you lost that whole show there, off to nowhere<br>\r\nI don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t wanna see you go there, and do it over<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 3: Luke]<br>\r\nI can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t believe that happened, spilled my Cap\u00e2\u20ac\u2122n<br>\r\nCrunch in my lap and, killed my app and<br>\r\nFried the whole motherboard, I shoved it forward<br>\r\nFreaked out and then I pulled out the power cord<br>\r\nCaught me off guard I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m, feeling scarred I<br>\r\nMay have lost everything on my hard drive<br>\r\nLost my documents, and my arguments<br>\r\nAnd my list of suspected communists<br>\r\nThe blog from my Aunt Louise, and her recipes<br>\r\nAnd her porn and the list of her STDs<br>\r\nCan\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t believe what it costs, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a total loss<br>\r\nEven the whole bootleg rip of Who\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the Boss<br>\r\n(crackly distorted sample of the intro music)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus 2: Devo]<br>\r\nDude, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been hosed, should\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve backed that thang up<br>\r\nYou\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a big fat dummy, should\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve backed that thang up<br>\r\nCall someone who cares, should\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve backed that thang up<br>\r\nI did try to warn you, man, back that thang up (repeat)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[outro]\r\n(error sound, music stops)<br>\r\nLuke: Hey, what happened?<br>\r\nDevo: The computer crashed.<br>\r\nLuke: What about the Li\u00e2\u20ac\u2122l Wayne verse?<br>\r\nDevo: Looks like we lost it.<br>\r\nLuke: All of it?<br>\r\nDevo: Yup.  In fact, it looks like we lost all of Li\u00e2\u20ac\u2122l Wayne.<br>\r\nLuke: That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a shame.<br>\r\nDevo: Yeah, no more Li\u00e2\u20ac\u2122l Wayne.  What a pity.<br>\r\nLuke: That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s terrible.<br>\r\nDevo: Yup.  Just a...damn shame.<br>\r\nLuke: Mm-hmm.<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>Backups are important. But usually it takes a crash and a critical data loss to make people realize that. This is a song about that.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2021-06-28","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"1","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"330","title":"Pumpkinhead","artist":"1","file":"Pumpkinhead.mp3","freemp3":"Pumpkinhead.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"\"Pumpkin Bread\" by TV's Kyle","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>[verse 1]<br>\r\nThere once was a farmer and his name was Ed<br>\r\nWho saw a big monster when he was a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153ked\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<br>\r\nNow he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a widower with a son<br>\r\nBut that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not the point of a parody this dumb<br>\r\nHe got a visit from some obnoxious kids<br>\r\nRiding motorbikes with their jumps and skids<br>\r\nDoing huge jumps for the thrill of it<br>\r\nBut they landed on his son and they killed the kid<br>\r\nSo Harley traveled day and night<br>\r\nAsking neighbors if they might<br>\r\nKnow the legend and tell him where<br>\r\nTo find an old witch with very little hair<br>\r\nThe crazy old lady said that he should<br>\r\nGo out to the old graveyard in the woods<br>\r\nAnd bring the thing back but he should think twice<br>\r\nBecause what he askin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 for got a powerful price<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus 1]<br>\r\nPumpkinhead!  Pumpkinhead!<br>\r\nMr. Harley\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s summoning Pumpkinhead!<br>\r\nHunt down the kids till they all are dead<br>\r\nPumpkinhead!  Pumpkinhead!<br>\r\n(repeat)<\/p>\r\n\t\r\n<p>[verse 2]<br>\r\nIt\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a bony, huge, freak of a monster<br>\r\nJust one look you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll see that it wants to<br>\r\nDisembowel you with its nasty teeth<br>\r\nOr maybe just throw you against a tree<br>\r\nIt looks like evil, it sounds like death<br>\r\nIt probably has really bad morning breath<br>\r\nIt makes me feel like I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m the 100th caller<br>\r\nIt\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a movie starring Lance Henriksen, holla!<br>\r\nIt can kill you fast, it can kill you slow<br>\r\nIt can hunt you down anywhere you go<br>\r\nIt can sing karaoke and that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just a start<br>\r\nIt can probably beat Kyle at Mario Kart, nope<br>\r\nIt can probably run for president<br>\r\nIt can probably win for president<br>\r\nI wish that it were president<br>\r\n\u00e2\u20ac\u02dcCause then the press conferences would be so much more interesting, do you think?  Just carnage and blood everywhere.  It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d be great!<\/p>\r\n\t\r\n<p>[chorus 2]<br>\r\nPumpkinhead!  Pumpkinhead!<br>\r\nCareful when you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re summoning Pumpkinhead!<br>\r\nRead the fine print or you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll end up dead<br>\r\nPumpkinhead!  Pumpkinhead!<br>\r\n(repeat)<\/p>\r\n\t\r\n<p>[verse 3]<br>\r\nLuke: Hi I am the great Luke Ski<br>\r\nHi I am a good MC<br>\r\nI have not seen Pumpkinhead (Kyle: Me neither!)<br>\r\nThose are some words that I said<\/p>\r\n\t\r\n<p>[chorus 3]<br>\r\nPumpkinhead!  Pumpkinhead!<br>\r\nTV\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Kyle sang about pumpkin bread<br>\r\nI had to get the song out of my head<br>\r\nPumpkinhead!  Pumpkinhead!<br>\r\n(repeat)<\/p>\r\n\t\r\n<p>Pumpkinhead!<\/p>\r\n\t\r\n<p>No!<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>This was supposed to be my Dumb Parody Idea entry for FuMPFest 2021, but I didn't have time to write it. After FuMPFest I decided to do the whole song because you can't stop me.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>This is a parody of TV's Kyle's song \"Pumpkin Bread\" about the 1988 horror movie Pumpkinhead starring Lance Henricksen. The movie is about a farmer whose young son is killed and he seeks vengeance by summoning a creature to go after the the ones responsible. This movie was always a favorite of mine because the creature effects are so well done. This movie is pre-CGI and the special effects still hold up. It is currently available to stream on Shudder.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2021-10-18","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"1","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"pumpkinhead-song-art-1000.jpg","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"331","title":"Odor in the Fridge","artist":"1","file":"Odor_in_the_Fridge.mp3","freemp3":"Odor_in_the_Fridge.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>[chorus]<br>\r\nWhat\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s that odor in the fridge?  Can you guess that?<br>\r\nWhat\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s that odor in the fridge? (repeat)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 1]<br>\r\nWhat\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s that odor in the fridge, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know but<br>\r\nYou know what, if I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t find the source I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m gonna go nuts<br>\r\nSo now it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s time for me to weed it out the fridge<br>\r\nI don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mind but the time has gone by just a smidge<br>\r\nI don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t remember when I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d last wanna deal with all this<br>\r\nI think it was back when Obama was in office<br>\r\nBut, you see, my cough is getting rougher by the day<br>\r\nSo enough, let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s get this production under way<br>\r\nArmed with gloves and a mask and a hazmat<br>\r\nSuit, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m prepared for what I have to do<br>\r\nI open that door just a crack and no more<br>\r\nIt attacks, and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m flat on my back on the floor<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 2]<br>\r\nI chisel my way through some stuff I used to eat<br>\r\nIt\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s an unidentifiable pile of meat<br>\r\nAnd some leftovers sittin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 for a couple of months<br>\r\nThe milk is OK, just has a couple of chunks<br>\r\nHey now, here\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s some food I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know I had<br>\r\nAnd the beer doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t last long enough to go bad<br>\r\nI know the Spam\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s good, \u00e2\u20ac\u02dccause if not, all is lost<br>\r\nThat stuff can survive a nuclear holocaust<br>\r\nThen there behind a pile of mold, I can tell<br>\r\nAs the fumes make me blind, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the source of the smell<br>\r\nStuck to the shelf in the back, what should I find?<br>\r\nIt\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s an old cup of coffee Steve Goodie left behind<br>\r\n(chorus)<br>\r\nIt\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a Venti Caramel Ribbon Crunch Frappuccino<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>This was another case of me asking my fans for more ridiculous suggestions for song topics. I got lots of good ones this time, but the winning suggestion came from Bonnie Beck (@blondoid on Twitter) who said \"There's a mystery smell in the fridge.\" I also got a little inspiration from the previous FuMP song, which was \"The Starbucks Song\" by Steve Goodie.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Lyrics, music, vocals: Tom Rockwell<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2021-12-30","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"1","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"odor-in-the-fridge-art.jpg","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"332","title":"Still Quarantined","artist":"1","file":"Still_Quarantined.mp3","freemp3":"Still_Quarantined.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"Still D.R.E. by Dr. Dre featuring Snoop Dogg","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>[intro]<br>\r\nLuke: Hey Devo, you still working from home?<br>\r\nDevo: What, are you nuts?  I ain\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t going anywhere.<br>\r\nLuke: Like ever?<br>\r\nDevo: No!  There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s people out there!  <br>\r\nLuke: Well, still.  Eventually you have to go back, right?<br>\r\nDevo: No way.  Here.  Check me out.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 1]<br>\r\nIt\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s still easy to tell, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m an inside fella\t<br>\r\nOn my phone a lot, still at home a lot<br>\r\n\u00e2\u20ac\u02dcCause I seldom have a good reason to go outside<br>\r\nAnd I really didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t like that time I tried<br>\r\nLately, they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been frankly saying masks, you can take them off<br>\r\nWhy now? \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcCause the economy is tanking?<br>\r\n  I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m pretty lucky that I never got it<br>\r\nThey say COVID is over, you wanna know how I feel about it?<br>\r\n(Luke: There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s some Greek letters left)<br>\r\nDevo, Spice is the name, everything is the same<br>\r\nStill, working from home, sometimes from the throne<br>\r\nStill not getting ahead<br>\r\nStill don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know how to make sourdough bread\t<br>\r\nStill got love for my bed and its He-Man spread<br>\r\nStill, line my beard, still expanding my rear<br>\r\nStill inside becoming creepy and weird...<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus]<br>\r\nStill, (Luke: I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m quarantining in my basement from the outside world)<br>\r\nStill, (Luke: talking to people is a no-no, girl)<br>\r\nStill, wearing a mask to protect my face<br>\r\nAnd I still got my sense of taste, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m still quarantined<br>\r\n(Luke: I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m quarantining in my basement from the outside world)<br>\r\nStill (Luke: talking to people is a no-no, girl)<br>\r\nStill, wearing a mask except when I eat<br>\r\nAnd I still got crumbs in the sheets, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m still quarantined<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 2]<br>\r\nSince the pandemic started, yeah, I lost some friends<br>\r\nSo, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m doing my part to combat that trend<br>\r\nKeep my ass inside, watch Tiger King again<br>\r\nYikes, there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s people like Carol Baskin outside?<br>\r\nYeah, ain\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t no way I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going topside<br>\r\nAnd even if I wanted to I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t because I sold my ride<br>\r\nI look like a sno cone with my hair all dyed<br>\r\nAnd there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s colors that I haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t tried, and besides<br>\r\nEverything I could need is DoorDash supplied<br>\r\n  Just have faith and wifi will provide<br>\r\n  It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not a fluke, commuting\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s stupid and weird<br>\r\nWhy drive for an hour when my computer\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s right here?<br>\r\n  I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m still at it, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s more pragmatic<br>\r\n  In my home there\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s wifi with no trackin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<br>\r\n  Nice couches, good food, and no traffic<br>\r\n  Plus a better chance of lunchtime action, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m...<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[verse 3]<br>\r\nPeople keep spouting the dumbest stuff<br>\r\nMore conspiracy theories you can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t rebut <br>\r\nWhether you take horse dewormer or drink your own pee<br>\r\nWhatever it may be, stay the hell away from me<br>\r\nI\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m quarantining in my basement from the outside world<br>\r\nStill (Luke: talking to people is a no-no, girl)<br>\r\nI got Hulu, Disney Plus, Netflix, and Shudder<br>\r\nAnd if you try to talk to me I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll subscribe to another<br>\r\n(Luke: So if you ain\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t up on thangs)<br>\r\nIt turns out the head of the TVA is Kang<br>\r\nStill, got some shows to catch up on, still<br>\r\nBinge watching but love to complain there ain\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t enough on<br>\r\nI go outside, I take my dogs outside<br>\r\nBut they know the deal and bark at all who come by<br>\r\nBelly rubs every day, and lots of good treats<br>\r\nNow excuse me, that should be my Uber Eats, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m...<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Ian: Here\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s your order, sir.<br>\r\nDevo: Thanks.  Just leave it on the step and back away slowly.<br>\r\nIan: Hey, wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t I just here this morning?<br>\r\nDevo: Your point?<br>\r\nIan: Uh, nothing.  Here, here\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s your change.  A five and four pennies.<br>\r\nDevo: Gah!  Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t touch me!  Just... keep it.  Now go away.<br>\r\nIan: OK.  Share some with your dogs, eh?<br>\r\nDevo: Yeah.  I bought extra.<br>\r\nIan: Careful.  Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t spill it.  That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s really sticky icky icky. <br>\r\nDevo: Yes, I know.  Can you go away now?<br>\r\nIan: Oooh wee, that smells good...!<br>\r\nDevo: Go away!<br>\r\nIan: You know I could come back with a... *door slams shut* ...doggie bag<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>Everyone is acting like the pandemic is over. Everything is back to normal. No masks. No social distancing. Everything is all hunky dory again. Well not me! I didn't want anything to do with human beings to begin with and I'm not coming out now!<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2022-04-27","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"1","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"333","title":"Zipper Injuries","artist":"1","file":"Zipper_Injuries.mp3","freemp3":"Zipper_Injuries.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>Have you ever heard a rip and got it caught in your zipper?<br>\r\n\u00e2\u20ac\u02dcCause you slip and then end up in a scene from Jack the Ripper<br>\r\nWell that happens all the time, ever since I was a kid<br>\r\nYou should see what that toy with all the fasteners did<br>\r\nSo now I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m extra careful when I have to go do it <br>\r\nSo I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t grab a hairful and get pulled right through it<br>\r\nAnd end up extra tearful, and just in case<br>\r\nI\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve got first aid posters all over the place <br>  \r\nWhen people first visit my space, their mind boggles<br>\r\nAs I go to the bathroom wearing safety gloves and goggles<br>\r\nIt causes so much grief I overreact, I admit<br>\r\nBut they literally have teeth and I expect to get bit<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I work from home and never put on pants<br>\r\nI\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not lazy, I just don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to take the chance<br>\r\n\u00e2\u20ac\u02dcCause they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll attack in force, if I become complacent<br> \r\nMy fear of camping ain\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t because of Jason<br>\r\nAnything with a zipper seems to want to attack<br>\r\nOn vacation I have nightmares that my luggage fights back<br>\r\nAnd on the flight back it wants to eat my brains<br>\r\nI\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not dreaming, it always has fresh blood stains<br>\r\nMy skin looks like half-chewed hamburger meat<br>\r\nThat little sound *zip* triggers my PTSD<br>\r\nAnd with my zipper-shaped scars it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s no wonder why<br>\r\nI\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m starring in that new horror remake of The Fly<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>I put out a call for more ridiculous suggestions for song topics and got a lot of great responses. But the one that stood out to me this time\u00e2\u20ac\u201dthe one that made me to oooooff\u00e2\u20ac\u201dwas this suggestion from Jeff Whitmire.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2022-06-27","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"1","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"zipper-injuries-250.jpg","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"335","title":"The Big Five-0","artist":"1","file":"The_Big_Five-0.mp3","freemp3":"The_Big_Five-0.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>Oh, the big five-oh, uh-oh, it hits you like a bomb<br>\r\nYour libido is waning and your memory is gone<br>\r\nYou can, well nigh say goodbye to get up and go<br>\r\nHowdy do, welcome to, the big five-oh<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>The things you used to do all night back when you was twenty<br>\r\nStill reappear and bring a cheer but twice a year is plenty<br>\r\nYour mind says party and your body says whoa<br>\r\nGrind your gums, here comes, the big five-oh<br>\r\n(key change but no break)<br>\r\nYou got sags of ever growing size<br>\r\nYou got bags underneath your eyes<br>\r\nYou got a spare tire from all them beers<br>\r\nYou got hair growin\u2019 out of your ears (hold out)<br>\r\nYou\u2019ve got a pain in your torso, achy breaky bones<br>\r\nDizzy spells and moreso, gallstones<br>\r\nIt hurts for a week whenever you stub your toe<br>\r\nTough luck, you can\u2019t duck, the big five-oh<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>You work less before you take a break<br>\r\nYou play less, it\u2019s hard to stay awake<br>\r\nYou put less strain upon your heart<br>\r\nThe only thing you do more of is burp (hold out)<br>\r\nStay away from women, stay away from sports<br>\r\nIs your hair all gray and thinnin\u2019?  You bet your boxer shorts<br>\r\nYou better watch your diet, eat real slow<br>\r\nYou got all you\u2019re ever gonna get<br>\r\nCareful not to work up a sweat<br>\r\nDon\u2019t get upset<br>\r\nTake another tagamet<br>\r\nYou\u2019re gonna regret you ever met<br>\r\nThe big five-oh<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>Back when I first was able to hear <a href=\"https:\/\/drdemento.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">The Dr. Demento Show<\/a> on the radio one of the first bands that jumped out at me was <a href=\"https:\/\/doodoowah.com\/\" target=\"_blank\">Doodoo Wah<\/a>.  They were a two-piece bluegrass band made up of Ron DeLacy and Dave Cavanagh that did some very funny stuff.  The two songs I saved to my recorded-off-the-radio mix tape and played over and over were \"<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=g1heNhlXSEk\" target=\"_blank\">B.A.R.F. Construction<\/a>\" and \"<a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=LfD_bqP6Mns\" target=\"_blank\">The Big Five-Oh<\/a>.\"<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Sunday is my birthday.  As such I thought it would be appropriate to cover one of those songs.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Lyrics: Ron DeLacy<br>\r\nMusic, vocals, burps, grey hairs, spare tire, and dizzy spells: Tom Rockwell<br>\r\nUh oh: Chris Mezzolesta<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2023-02-22","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"31","cover":"cover-up.jpg","url":"cover-up"},{"id":"334","title":"Forget Your Phone","artist":"1","file":"Forget_Your_Phone.mp3","freemp3":"Forget_Your_Phone.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>There's a hundred and forty-seven tiles on the floor<br>\r\nAnd what's worse, I don't think I like that style anymore<br>\r\nAnd while I've heard before a man's home is his castle<br>\r\nKeeping up repairs is an onerous hassle<br>\r\nAnd no one even cares, 'cause it's way up in the back<br>\r\nAt the top, up the stairs, where the walls are all cracked<br>\r\nHasn't been a problem yet hanging' my pants on the door<br>\r\nOnly visitors we get are the ants on the floor<br>\r\nThere's no chance I can afford a remodel anyway<br>\r\nBring it up to code?  Heh, not on my pay<br>\r\nMaybe someday but for now I'll engage<br>\r\nIn spinning toilet paper like a cat in a rage<br>\r\nAs I contemplate my life and why I'm stuck with the dregs<br>\r\nI realize that I am losing feeling in my legs<br>\r\nStaring at the ceiling as the truth is well known<br>\r\nPooping is boring when you forget your phone<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I am SO BORED!  Ugh.  I wonder how far I can get my finger into my nose.  Eh.  Eh!  Ooh, I can scratch my brain!  Uh oh!  I think I just forgot long division.  Oh well.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Man, I don't know what he's going on about<br>\r\nTwelve slides ago I completely tuned out<br>\r\nI don't care where this goes, or the price of our stocks<br>\r\nThere's a hair in his nose, it wiggles when he talks<br>\r\nI can doodle on my pad, doesn't matter what I do<br>\r\nBut if I fall asleep now it looks bad on my review<br>\r\nLike I had to come, too!  I don't need to be here<br>\r\nOh the things I've gone through for the sake of a career<br>\r\nI make it appear like I'm listening fine<br>\r\nSo I cross my legs for the eighty-third time<br>\r\nI glance around the room and adjust my business suit<br>\r\nThere's Sara from accounting, she's kind of cute<br>\r\nLosing money, blah blah, layoffs, blah blah<br>\r\nAll I think about is leaving and my evening at the spa<br>\r\nI wonder how much longer 'til I get to go home<br>\r\nMeetings are boring when you forget your phone<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Sooo boooring!!  Oh my god, when will this torture end!  Just get to the Any Questions slide already.  No don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t actually ask questions you idiot!  That just means he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s going to keep talking!  AAAHHH!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I underestimated how long it's gonna take<br>\r\nAnd I've sat here and waited all along without a break<br>\r\nSo please, for my sake, can we speed it up a bit<br>\r\nIf you need another hit I can help you out with it<br>\r\nI pace back and forth and I can't help but laugh<br>\r\n'Cause \"any moment now\" has been a day and a half<br>\r\nSo I play with anything that my hands can conjure up<br>\r\nNow I'm learning origami with a paper water cup<br>\r\nThe radio is blown and the TV is dead<br>\r\nSo instead I'm alone with the thoughts in my head<br>\r\nBut it's hard to stay focussed, daydreaming in my mind<br>\r\nWith the moaning and the groaning and the screaming all the time<br>\r\nI just want to leave, get a big glass of wine<br>\r\nYes, honey, push, just breathe, you're doing fine<br>\r\nShe grabs me so hard I think she broken a damn bone<br>\r\nChildbirth is boring when you forget your phone<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Uuuughh.  Come on!  How much longer is this going to go on?  Do you know how hard it is for me to sit here and listen to this?  You really should hear yourself.  Why do I even need to be here?  To tell you to push?  That\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just mansplaining childbirth.<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>After hearing the first verse of this song you'll know exactly what inspired it. So I decided to come up with some other situations that may be boring when you don't have a phone with you to distract you.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>This is a song I wrote during FAWM a couple years ago and am only now getting around to recording.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2022-08-28","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"1","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"336","title":"Yo! Sam","artist":"1","file":"Yo_Sam.mp3","freemp3":"Yo_Sam.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>Any one o\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 you<br>\r\nLily-livered, bow-legged, brackafrat varmints<br>\r\nCare to slap leather with me?  Well...<br>\r\nIf\u00e2\u20ac\u2122n any of ya git any idears, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d better<br>\r\nUnderstand then who I be, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m<br>\r\nThe hootenest, tootenest, shootinest bobtail<br>\r\nHomre, fastest gun, yer darn tootenist<br>\r\nRootinest brat frakin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 parkalooma doin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 this<br>\r\nYes, ma oil rigs are the pollutinest<br>\r\nYou ain\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t no match for me, ya dag blasted<br>\r\nOrnery, no-account, long-eared varmint<br>\r\nWhether I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m dressed in viking, pirate<br>\r\nRoman, or Old West garments<br>\r\nThey fear ma name all across the land<br>\r\n\u00e2\u20ac\u02dcCause my name is<br>\r\nYosemite Sam<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m the roughenest, toughenest, gruffinst, and when<br>\r\nThat dang long-eared galoot acts up I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve had enough of this<br>\r\nMy blatter splattin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 nazatrap hat is all that<br>\r\nAnd my red mustache and beard are the scruffinest<br>\r\nI reckon y\u00e2\u20ac\u2122all better keep back \u00e2\u20ac\u02dccause I blast<br>\r\nAny critter that tangles with me<br>\r\nGot a pair o\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 six-shooters in my hand on the land<br>\r\nAnd a cannon when I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m out in the sea<br>\r\nSo say yer prayers, ya dirty frattin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 pattin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<br>\r\n\u00e2\u20ac\u02dcCause you know where you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re going to go<br>\r\nI speaks my mind \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcn steps across yer line<br>\r\nAnd when I say whoa, I means whoa<br>\r\nI\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll hunt \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcn shoot whate\u00e2\u20ac\u2122er I can<br>\r\nOr my name ain\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t <br>\r\nYosemite Sam<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll lead yas into the lion\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s den<br>\r\nWhile I follow the map to the treasure<br>\r\nAhoy there!  Ya bush whackin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 barracuda<br>\r\nI\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m the toughest hombre ever!<br>\r\nSo all you skunks get outta here<br>\r\nWhile I chase an old woman \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcround the couch<br>\r\nI\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m the captain of the guard and in the zaslavin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 War<br>\r\nBetween the States I fought for the South<br>\r\nThat dirty perka shorka bat flattin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 portin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 fillabunker<br>\r\nRabbit is for the birds<br>\r\nHe\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a rackin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 frackin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 paracotta slaughterated idjit<br>\r\nAnd yeah, them\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s fightin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 words<br>\r\nSo maybe that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll learn ya who I am<br>\r\n\u00e2\u20ac\u02dcCause my name is<br>\r\nYosemite Sam<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>A little while ago I stumbled onto a video that edited the Bugs Bunny cartoon \"From Hare to Heir\" <a href=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=wWYFxekoAsM\" target=\"_blank\">down to just Yosemite Sam's fake curses<\/a>. I was highly amused by this and thought it would be funny to put it to a beat. That led to a couple other ideas which eventually led to this song with me attempting a Yosemite Sam impression.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2023-06-26","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"1","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"yo-sam-song-art-2.jpg","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"337","title":"The McMacMac&Cheese Attack","artist":"1","file":"The_McMacMac&Cheese_Attack.mp3","freemp3":"The_McMacMac&Cheese_Attack.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":" ","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>Yo, how do you eat a Big Mac?<br>\r\nWith my mouth, yo, why do I need to answer that?<br>\r\nIs there another way maybe that I'm not privy to?<br>\r\nNever mind, ain't no way I wanna know what you do<br>\r\nNo not that, I mean like toppings and stuff<br>\r\nLike lettuce and tomato? Yo, I can't get enough<br>And bacon? Hell yeah, extra bacon please<br>\r\nNow the most important question, what type of cheese?<br>\r\nAmerican?  No.  What, cheddar?  No, the only<br>\r\nType of cheese you really need is macaroni<br>\r\nBut McDonald's doesn't sell macaroni and cheese<br>\r\nThat's why I always got some with me and I'm ready with these<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>It's a Big McMac Mac and Cheese Attack!<br>\r\nIt's a Big McMac Mac and Cheese Attack!<br>\r\nIt's a Big McMac Mac and Cheese Attack!<br>\r\nYeah, I do deserve a break today<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Yo\u2013 yo\u2013 you need a winner? Just a scoop of Kraft dinner<br>\r\nSlapped right on the patty? Yup, open up fatty. <br>\r\nYou diggin' my noods? Straight-up packed in the bun?<br>\r\nIt's drippin down your chin like your long lost son.<br>\r\nEw \u2013 what?<br>\r\nI put the \"attack\" back in the Mac stack.<br>\r\nAssaulting your mouth and intestinal tract.<br>\r\nMaking all the sloppy noises from beneath the sheets.<br>\r\nSee your face buried in a McMacMac&Cheese<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>It's a Big McMac Mac and Cheese Attack!<br>\r\nIt's a Big McMac Mac and Cheese Attack!<br>\r\nIt's a Big McMac Mac and Cheese Attack!<br>\r\nBa-da, ba-da, ba ba-da, bitches!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Yo! That was awesome! And now I want some more, son<br>\r\nWhat else you got? Line me up like a foursome<br>\r\nWhat? No. I-I don't mean to be rude<br>\r\nBut that's all I've tried\u2026er, no, I mean food<br>\r\nThat's alright, you can help me brainstorm a little<br>\r\nHow 'bout a Big Mac with a pizza in the middle?<br>\r\nYou mean like those tiny little personal ones?<br>\r\nYeah, or maybe we can use a fruitcake instead of buns<br>\r\nOr a platter of nachos! What, like on the side?<br>\r\nNo! I want nachos baked right inside!<br>\r\nAnd swap out the special sauce for some beans and franks<br>\r\nI think I'll just stick to the mac and cheese, thanks<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>It's a Big McMac Mac and Cheese Attack!<br>\r\nIt's a Big McMac Mac and Cheese Attack!<br>\r\nIt's a Big McMac Mac and Cheese Attack!<br>\r\nTwo all beef patties, beans and franks, mac and cheese, pizza, nachos on a fruitcake for a bun*<br>\r\nYUM!<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>Last week I put out a call for more ridiculous topics for songs. Dino-Mike said: \"A Big Mac that has Mac and Cheese. The McMacMac&Cheese Attack.\" I got lots of great suggestions but this one jumped out at me for two reasons. First, I love the idea and I eat at McDonald's far more than I really should. And second, Mike and I have never worked together on a song and this seemed like a good opportunity to remedy that.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2023-10-26","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"1","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"mcmac-song-art-500.jpg","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"338","title":"What's Up, Spock? (2024 Version)","artist":"1","file":"Whats_Up_Spock.mp3","freemp3":"Whats_Up_Spock.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"What's Up, Doc? by Shaq and the Fu Schnikkens","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>Can we rock? What's up, Spock?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Quark?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Phlox?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Spock?<br>\r\n<br>\r\nCaptain's log It's time to be beginnin', this five year<br>\r\nMission, I am Captain James T Kirk<br>\r\nSpock is a Vulcan so his actions are logical and <br>\r\nSwift, and 'dammit' Bones is a doctor, not a forklift<br>\r\nCheck this out y'all Sulu warp factor two<br>\r\nChekov and Uhura are my senior bridge crew<br>\r\nDon't play me like a punk, like a tribble or a Klingon<br>\r\nScotty's on the ship, so that he can help me beam on<br>\r\nI'm tellin' all the Romulans and aliens to listen to <br>\r\nThese soliloquies, What? Now I'm makin' lots of movies<br>\r\nSearch for Spock? On the floor he's steppin',<br>\r\nBut I can't dance like a Genesis weapon<br>\r\nBack to the TV show, I don't know the reason<br>\r\nWhy a five year mission only lasted three seasons?<br>\r\nOh no! For goodness sakes, the ratings high? <br>\r\nI'm off! You off? N-B-C ya! Bye!<br>\r\n<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Spock?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Spock?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Spock?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Spock?<br>\r\n<br>\r\nI got the show back on the air! You what? I did! I did!<br>\r\nExcept this is a newer version for Next Generation kids<br>\r\nI'm on the Starship E-N-T-E-R, P-R-I-S-E,<br>\r\na-with the number N-C-C-one-seven-zero-one-D<br>\r\nIt's a hundred years later, it's a thousand man crew,<br>\r\nit's a good thing for me and my staff knows what to do, Engage!<br>\r\nWesley Crusher is not older but he's wiser<br>\r\nDown in engineering Geordi is my technical ad-visor<br>\r\nI go see Deanna, she's a shrink and a psych-er<br>\r\nWhen it comes to Troi, all the boys, they will like her<br>\r\nEspecially my Number One, Commander Riker<br>\r\nGot a beard like a stud, and a bod like Formica<br>\r\nDoctor Crusher is a humanitarian,<br>\r\nAnd Klingon Worf says 'I am not a merry man!'<br>\r\nSo who is the Captain in your neighborhood?<br>\r\nI guess that would be me! Can't you see? I'm chillin' in the center seat?<br>\r\nCause I, am Jean-Luc Picard,<br>\r\nAnd if you think that I'm Locutus then you're one of the Borg<br>\r\nCause I drink my earl-grey and it's lemon meringue-ey<br>\r\nI'm makin' more profits than any Ferengi<br>\r\nChillin' on the holodeck, I'm calm and I'm serene<br>\r\nAnd word to Tasha Yar, I'm headin' for the big screen,<br>\r\nbecause I'm Deep Space Nine-in', chillin' with Guinan,<br>\r\nMakin' lots of Whoopi while my bald head is shinin',<br>\r\nand I've got the world's best android calculator, named<br>\r\ndunna-dunna-dunna-dunna-dunna-dunna Data!<br>\r\nHis body's bionic His brain's positronic<br>\r\nCompared to Mr Data, Albert Einstein's moronic<br>\r\nI'm the big bad baldie of the whole Federation,<br>\r\nand I'll rock Q from here, to Farpoint Station!<br>\r\n<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Riker?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Riker?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Riker?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Riker?<br>\r\n<br>\r\nBajor\u2019s on fire!<br>\r\nWe don\u2019t need no water let the mother-trekker burn!<br>\r\n<br>\r\nRip in the wormhole! Uh, oh Oh, no!<br>\r\nRelax and you'll be fine here on Deep Space Nine<br>\r\nNow Bajor is nearer, with Colonel Kira<br>\r\norderin' more than, the av-er-age Bajoran<br>\r\nQuark is too quick, he's slick like Crisco<br>\r\nFortunately, I am Captain Sisko<br>\r\nI got a shapeshifter named Odo at my side,<br>\r\nHe'll kick Quark's butt all over the promenade!<br>\r\nAH-ha-ha-HA! Chief Miles O'Brien<br>\r\nHis expertise flies the ship Defiant<br>\r\nAn adventure? Doc Bashir will be in it,<br>\r\nWith an ol' man Dax, you know she's a Trill a minute!<br>\r\nI got my son Jake, and he's hangin' with Nog,<br>\r\na shrimpy little troll, like Kermit the Frog<br>\r\nI got more class than Cardassians, and I cannot<br>\r\nbe the one to go out like Gul Dukat<br>\r\nBeen hollin' nine-eleven since Wolf three-five-nine<br>\r\nand it's so scary! Roddenberry! Word to Kai Opacca! Can I rock-a?!<br>\r\n<br>\r\nWhat's up, Quark? and<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Quark?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Quark?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Quark?<br>\r\n<br>\r\nHolo-Doc's attitude could be nicer,<br>\r\nBut still I gotta say to him, 'Hail Lord Schweitzer!'<br>\r\nSo Voyager's fine, with that Borg babe of mine,<br>\r\nknown an Seven-Of-Nine, assimilation's divine!<br>\r\nNeelix, cookin' up the soup du-jour<br>\r\nfor Security Vulcan Tuvok 'Shakur'<br>\r\nChakotay helps me to adapt<br>\r\nand Ensign Harry Kim is always getting kidnapped<br>\r\nThe pilot Tom Paris is an egotist-er<br>\r\nWent out with both of the Delaney sisters<br>\r\nAnd I'm sure he'll wanna, get with Be'lanna,<br>\r\nTorres Klingon-a, tryin' to reach nirvana<br>\r\nSearchin' and scannin' and cavortin',<br>\r\nIf we wanna get somewhere, then we better start warpin'<br>\r\nCaptian Janeway's in command all up in this jam<br>\r\nStay tuned, up next is 'Platypus Man!'<br>\r\n<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Doctor?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Doctor?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Doctor?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Doctor?<br>\r\n<br>\r\nJon Archer, the Captain about who I\u2019m rappin\u2019, well<br>\r\nIt just so happens to be me. I\u2019m battlin\u2019<br>\r\nAll those, Suliban freaks who are feeding cheese to<br>\r\nPorthos. Lieutantant Malcolm Reed rules the armory<br>\r\nKeeping harm from me and the rest of my guys. Trip\u2019s con-<br>\r\n-structions he\u2019ll devise, we\u2019ll function and surprise on this<br>\r\nFunky Enterprise. Travis bustin\u2019 through the skies. Maywea-<br>\r\n-ther will forever helm wherever he flies. (Whoo!) I<br>\r\nSee Doctor Phlox. A Denobulan medic who<br>\r\nBlocks all the pox with a fox in a box. Hoshi\u2019s<br>\r\nChillin\u2019, decipherin\u2019 all our prank calls from all the<br>\r\nKlingons. \u201cAll your base are belong to us.\u201d But she\u2019s<br>\r\nNot hot as T\u2019Pol is. Vulcan flawless<br>\r\nLogic and a bod like Lucy Lawless<br>\r\nFearless. Be back soon to save you again<br>\r\nJust as long as you remember that it\u2019s on U.P.N.!<br>\r\n<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Phlox?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Phlox?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Phlox?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Phlox?<br>\r\n<br>\r\nThere\u2019s a new streaming service, (there is?), yup!<br>\r\nSo we need another series to help get our numbers up<br>\r\nWe can bring back Spock, but what the fans\u2019ll really like\u2019ll<br>\r\nBe a show to boldly go about a woman named Michael<br>\r\nTen years before Kirk to keep it chronological<br>\r\nOh, and she\u2019s Spock\u2019s adopted sister (that\u2019s illogical!)<br>\r\nSaru is a Kelpian and man is he smart<br>\r\nBut he walks like he\u2019s constantly fanning a fart<br>\r\n(Discovery!) flies with a spore drive, something something<br>\r\nFungus in space, tardigrades, something (warp five!)<br>\r\nAll the sphere\u2019s data wasn\u2019t meant for me<br>\r\nSo now it\u2019s off to the thirty-second century<br>\r\nTo keep it safe from Control was the whole darn idea<br>\r\nBut they suffer from The Burn like (Space Gonorrhea!)<br>\r\nAll of that together may seem kinda weird<br>\r\nBut it\u2019s nothing when compared to Spock with a beard<br>\r\n<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Spock?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Spock?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Spock?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Spock?<br>\r\n<br>\r\nI got the show back on the air! You what? I did! I did!<br>\r\nExcept this is a newer version for Next Generation kids<br>\r\nI\u2019m an admiral, I\u2019m retired, everything is fine<br>\r\nOnly problem is that no one seems to like my wine<br>\r\nI\u2019m a hundred years old, the thought of work makes me wince<br>\r\nBut I\u2019m fighting for the rights of Romulans and synths<br>\r\nWesley Crusher is a traveler with many goals<br>\r\nAnd Data is gone, but Brent Spiner still has twenty roles<br>\r\nWill and Deanna have a home on Nepenthe<br>\r\nBut without Thaddeus it feels kinda empty<br>\r\nDr. Crusher had a child that she hid from me<br>\r\nSo You Don\u2019t Know Jack is a game that has it in for me<br>\r\nGeordi\u2019s been restoring the old Enterprise D<br>\r\nA bunch of folks are looking for my former body (what?!)<br>\r\nSeven of Nine still has that thing on her eye<br>\r\nAnd Worf wants to know, (is he ever gonna die?!)<br>\r\n<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Riker?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Riker?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Riker?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Riker?<br>\r\n<br>\r\nNow it\u2019s time to take a trip aboard a ship that others hated<br>\r\nAnd explore the lower decks where we\u2019re (all animated)<br>\r\nOne of Starfleet\u2019s least important vessels, the Cirritos<br>\r\nWhere we use a lot of buffer time and (replicate burritos)<br>\r\n(Ensign) Beckett Mariner\u2019s career is on track<br>\r\nIf you give her a promotion she will (give it right back)<br>\r\nBoimler\u2019s eager to please and be a cog<br>\r\nBut he\u2019s a little odd, even keeps his own logs<br>\r\nAnd his roommate (Rutherford), a cyborg engineer<br>\r\nCan\u2019t wait to calibrate another boring piece of gear<br>\r\nAnd the Orion girl, (not a) slave, (not a) pirate, then she\u2019s<br>\r\nThe (Mistress of the Winter Constellations), D\u2019Vana Tendi<br>\r\nFreeman and Ransom handle second contact<br>\r\n(Shaxs) does security, Doc (T\u2019Ana) is a cat<br>\r\nBadgey might threaten you with some sharp knives<br>\r\nBut the Moopsie is free, better run for your lives!<br>\r\n<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Jack?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Jack?<br>\r\n\tJack Ransom, he\u2019s the first officer of the Cirritos<br>\r\nCan we rock?  What's up, Jack?<br>\r\nCan we rock? (MOOPSIE!) What's up, Jack?<br>\r\n<br>\r\nLet\u2019s make a happy little show about bravery<br>\r\nWe can start with orphans who were sold into slavery<br>\r\nWorkin\u2019 in the mines (for the Diviner) yes, we know you are<br>\r\nAin\u2019t no escape until they stumble on the (Protostar)<br>\r\nDal kidnaps Gwynn, he\u2019s just a little headstrong (yup!)<br>\r\nRok, Jankom Pog, Murf, and Zero come along<br>\r\nHologram Janeway will show them all how<br>\r\nAnd at least she can\u2019t turn into a salamander now<br>\r\n(But it ain\u2019t that simple) there\u2019s a weapon on the ship<br>\r\nThat will destroy Starfleet with so much as a blip<br>\r\n(Jankom Pog) doesn\u2019t know how (Jankom Pog) could defeat it<br>\r\nBut Murf is indestructible, so (he could just eat it)<br>\r\nGwynn joins the crew, (what\u2019s her father gonna do?)<br>\r\nAfter seeing Zero\u2019s face his brain became beef stew (Ahh!)<br>\r\nDal and Real Janeway are anxious to meet<br>\r\nSo they can save the Vau N\u2019Akat (without destroying Starfleet)<br>\r\n<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, ...Rok?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Rok?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Rok?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Rok?<br>\r\n<br>\r\nCaptain\u2019s log, it\u2019s time to be beginnin\u2019, this five year<br>\r\nMission, I am captain Christopher Pike<br>\r\nSpock is a Vulcan so his actions are logical<br>\r\nExcept when T\u2019Pring makes his feel biological<br>\r\nCheck it out, y\u2019all, Ortegas, give me warp two<br>\r\nNumber One has a big secret but she\u2019s my crew<br>\r\nDon\u2019t play me for a punk like a Gorn or a Klingon<br>\r\nHemmer\u2019s on the ship so that he can help me beam on<br>\r\nI\u2019m tellin\u2019 all the space pirates and aliens to listen to<br>\r\nThese soliloquies, what? Now I\u2019m singing slightly off key<br>\r\nSearch for Spock\u2019s Vulcan half made him babble<br>\r\nBut what\u2019s going on between him and Nurse Chapel<br>\r\nUhura\u2019s got a bright future-or so it seems<br>\r\nLieutenant Kirk comes aboard and there goes the away team<br>\r\nM\u2019Benga\u2019s daughter might die<br>\r\nI\u2019m off, for now, Paramount-ya, bye! <br>\r\n<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Spock?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Spock?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Spock?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Spock?<br>\r\n<br>\r\nI'm the ruler, the master, the universe blaster<br>\r\nI'll take the Enterprise to the edge of disaster<br>\r\nIn other words, you better start beggin' you humans<br>\r\nBecause I'm 'Q' from the Q Continuum<br>\r\nForget Jean and Kathy, I'm the man<br>\r\nWhen it comes to power, I just wave my hand<br>\r\nI'll turn Jean-Luc Picard into a doggie<br>\r\nAnd then he will be barkin', into his Captain's loggie<br>\r\nForget those other guys, they're not important<br>\r\nKathy, Jim, and Jean, and Benji, - Q is omnipotent!<br>\r\nDamn I gotta scram, because you win, Mon Ca-pee-tin,<br>\r\nBut I will not promise never to appear again<br>\r\n<br>\r\n*fwash!* What's up, Q?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Quark?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Riker?<br>\r\nCan we rock? What's up, Spock?<br>\r\n<br>\r\nAw yeah! Star Trek, Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, Voyager, Enterprise, Discovery, Picard, Lower Decks, Prodigy, Strange New Worlds, and Q Continuum style! Live long and prosper! We outta here! See ya! <\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>When Luke Ski performed \"What's Up, Spock?\" at MarsCon 2022 he ended it by joking that he was going to add a new verse about Star Trek: Discovery, then said \"No, I can't make that song any longer.\" Well, I can! So here is an updated version of \"What's Up, Spock?\" that includes verses for Discovery, Picard, Lower Decks, Prodigy, and Strange New Worlds.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>This song is featured on my album of cover songs which is called Cover Up.  It features over a dozen cover songs I've recorded and performed over the years, plus three new ones.  It includes \"It's All About the Pentiums\" by \"Weird Al\" Yankovic using a chiptunes version of the original music, \"Tortuga\" by Alestorm featuring pirate rapper Captain Dan, and this updated version of \"What's Up, Spock?\"<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>NOTE: This song has been updated to fix some mispronunciations in the first version.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2024-04-24","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"whats-up-spock-song-art.jpg","albumId":"31","cover":"cover-up.jpg","url":"cover-up"},{"id":"339","title":"Lawyer Up","artist":"1","file":"Lawyer_Up.mp3","freemp3":"Lawyer_Up.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"Ante Up by M.O.P.","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>All rise for the honorable Judge Hamflaps!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>This guy sued!  That guy sued!<br>\r\nThese guys sued!  Those guys sued!<br>\r\nRestaurants and clubs, all get sued!<br>\r\n[Lawyer up!] Everyone sued!<br>\r\nSue who we want, we file it online<br>\r\nSettle up front, so I can get mine<br>\r\nThis rules [like a mob!]  These fools [we can rob!]<br>\r\n'Cause it sure beats getting a job [job!] now [now!]<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>My grill... burned my right hand<br>\r\nAnd they settled for three hundred grand<br>\r\nAs I lived like some king I soon thought of something<br>\r\n[This process could make us all rich!]  Ca-ching!<br>\r\nYou think I don't know that?  [Whoa!]  I'm-a do that<br>\r\n[Whoa!] I'm-a sue that [Whoa!]  And then sue that<br>\r\nI sued my own cousin 'cause he borrowed my drill<br>\r\nNow I'm two settlements away from a cool mil<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[Lawyer up!] File that suit!<br>\r\n[Lawyer up!] Lifestyle improves!<br>\r\nIt's the perfect crime and it works every time and<br>\r\nSee my social status is climbing, now<br>\r\n[Lawyer up!] File that suit!<br>\r\n[Lawyer up!] Lifestyle improves!<br>\r\nGet him, get him, get him!  Hit him, hit him, hit him!<br>\r\n(spoken calmly:) Yes, your honor, I'd like to state that I was severely traumatized.  <\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I broke in your house, to steal your TV<br>\r\nI slipped and I fell, your dog bit me<br>\r\nYou think you're the victim, well here is my dictum<br>\r\nYou're gonna be sorry 'cause I know how to pick 'em<br>\r\nLawyer up!  [File that suit!]<br>\r\nI'll get big money and your little dog too!<br>\r\nAnd I'll buy him one of those fancy diamond collars<br>\r\n'Cause I'm suing for eleventy-billion dollars<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Flight 87 on the ground [sounds like you were entombed!]<br>\r\nWe were stuck aboard a 747 with no leg room<br>\r\nWe were twelve minutes late [late!] by the time we left the gate<br>\r\n[Lawyer up!] Oh man, I can't wait!<br>\r\nMy leg got a cramp, I had to ask twice<br>\r\nThe free drink I got didn't come with any ice<br>\r\nAnd the in-flight movie was Smokey and the Bandit<br>\r\nNow I'm represented by a law firm who understands it<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[Lawyer up!] File that suit!<br>\r\n[Lawyer up!] Lifestyle improves!<br>\r\nI saw more than I could handle, on TV, what a scandal<br>\r\nSo shocked I couldn't even change the channel, now<br>\r\n[Lawyer up!] File that suit!<br>\r\n[Lawyer up!] Lifestyle improves!<br>\r\nGet him, get him, get him!  Hit him, hit him, hit him!<br>\r\n(spoken calmly:) Your honor, my children could have seen bare female shoulders.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I'm a... true game player, it's America's way for<br>\r\nMe to get mine, I think I may have hit pay dirt<br>\r\nDon't call it greed, call it my new creed<br>\r\nAnd what pays for this occurrence?  Insurance!<br>\r\nFile for free, lawyers take a fee<br>\r\nIt's a shopping spree, still have time for tea<br>\r\nThere's no stopping me, now I live carefree<br>\r\nIt's the R.E., V.E., N.U., [U!] E! [E!]<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Take 'em out to eat, my boys it's my treat<br>\r\nBig pile of meat, don't mean to be rude<br>\r\nBut you brought too much food... I couldn't eat<br>\r\nAll of that, so what you're saying is that I'm a fat dude?<br>\r\n[So?] So that's slander, ask any bystander<br>\r\nGot strong enough lawyers to sue Copacabana<br>\r\nI'm-a own this restaurant, and quite fast<br>\r\n[And then?] I'm-a fire your ass, yes indeed<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[Lawyer up!] File that suit!<br>\r\n[Lawyer up!] Lifestyle improves!<br>\r\nCan't smoke on a flight, or when I'm pumping gas at night<br>\r\nYeah that violates my civil rights, uh<br>\r\n[Lawyer up!] File that suit!<br>\r\n[Lawyer up!] Lifestyle improves!<br>\r\nGet him, get him, get him!  Hit him, hit him, hit him!<br>\r\n(spoken calmly:) Your honor, he looked at me in a way that clearly implied \"Do you have a problem with that?\" which I believe to be a threat, and now I fear for my own safety.  I would like to request a restraining order that forbids him from looking in my general direction, plus restitution in the amount of three million dollars, a new Lamborghini, a lifetime supply of Popeye\u2019s chicken, and a complete set of first generation Transformers, new in box.  And the Megatraon needs to turn into a gun and not a tank.  I mean, seriously.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>*gavel sound*<br>\r\nJudge: \u201cJudgment for the plaintiff.  Bailiff, make sure he gets his Popeye\u2019s chicken.\u201d<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>Back in the early 90s one of my favorite Hip Hop anthems was \"Ante Up\" by M.O.P. A few years ago while doing FAWM I wrote this parody and I'm just now getting around to recording it.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2024-06-27","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"1","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"340","title":"It's All About the Pentiums","artist":"1","file":"Its_All_About_the_Pentiums.mp3","freemp3":"Its_All_About_the_Pentiums.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"It's All About the Benjamins by Puff Daddy","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"<p>Ever since \"Weird Al\" Yankovic first put out his parody \"It's All About the Pentiums\" using the Rock Remix of the original song I have wanted to do a cover using the original music.  While working on my album of covers Cover Up it seemed like a good time to finally do it.  However, I decided to make the music a bit chiptunes sounding rather than just do a straight cover.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Lyrics: Al Yankovic<br>\r\nMusic, vocals: Devo Spice<br>\r\nBackground vocals: Bonnie Gordon<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2024-04-23","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"31","cover":"cover-up.jpg","url":"cover-up"},{"id":"341","title":"New Math","artist":"1","file":"New_Math.mp3","freemp3":"New_Math.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>Tom Lehrer\u2019s song \u201cNew Math\u201d was a public service to parents who found themselves in the embarrassing position of being unable to do their children\u2019s arithmetic homework because of the revolution in mathematics they called the New Math.  As a child of the 80s I found it hysterical that adults couldn\u2019t do simple math problems.  Using the example 342 minus 173 he explained...<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>You can't take three from two, two is less than <br>\r\nThree, so you look at the four in the tens place<br>\r\nNow that's really four tens, so you make it three <br>\r\nTens, regroup, and you change a ten to ten <br>\r\nOnes and you add 'em to the two and get twelve<br>\r\nAnd you take away three, that's nine<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Is that clear?<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Now instead of four in the tens place you've got <br>\r\nThree \u2018cause you added one, that is to say<br>\r\nTen, to the two, but you can't take seven from<br>\r\nThree so you look in the hundreds place<br>\r\nFrom the three you then use one<br>\r\nTo make ten ones (and you know why four plus<br>\r\nMinus one plus ten is fourteen<br>\r\nMinus one? \u2018Cause addition is <br>\r\nCommutative, right!) And so you've got thirteen <br>\r\nTens and you take away seven and that leaves <br>\r\nFive<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Well, six actually<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Now go back to the hundreds place<br>\r\nYou're left with two and you take away one <br>\r\nFrom two and that leaves . . .?<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Everybody get one?<br>\r\nNot bad for the first day!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Hooray for New Math<br>\r\nNew-hoo-hoo Math<br>\r\nIt won't do you a bit of good to review Math<br>\r\nIt's so simple<br>\r\nSo very simple<br>\r\nThat only a child can do it!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Twenty-five years later I had children of my own.  And they were taught Common Core.  And I found myself in the embarrassing position of being unable to do my children\u2019s arithmetic homework.  Here\u2019s how they do it now.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>OK, so<br>\r\nYou start with the lower of the number of the two<br>\r\nWhich is one-seventy-three and you count up to something<br>\r\nIn this case up to one-eighty so we\u2019ll add<br>\r\nSeven, and write that down in the middle<br>\r\nFrom there we go on to two-hundred so we put<br>\r\nTwenty below the seven, \u2018cause you see<br>\r\nOne seventy-three plus twenty-seven equals<br>\r\nTwo hundred, right, now we\u2019re getting there, so<br>\r\nAdd another hundred to bring it to three<br>\r\nAnd we\u2019re left with trying to get to three forty-two<br>\r\nAnd how do we get that?...<br>\r\nForty-two, right<br>\r\nNow just add up the numbers that are left<br>\r\nSo seven plus twenty plus a hundred plus forty-two<br>\r\nBut not so fast, you\u2019ve got to regroup them<br>\r\nFirst, so we\u2019ll round up the forty-two to fifty<br>\r\nNow that\u2019s eight that we need to subtract<br>\r\nBut can\u2019t take eight from seven, so<br>\r\nIf we take it from twenty that leaves us twelve<br>\r\nWhich is ten plus two, we can add to the seven<br>\r\nBut round down to five and we get another two<br>\r\nAnd honestly I\u2019m not sure what\u2019s happening here<br>\r\nBut a hundred plus fifty plus ten is sixty<br>\r\nAnd five, two, and two makes nine<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>It\u2019s so easy you can do it in your head<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Hooray for New Math<br>\r\nNew-hoo-hoo Math<br>\r\nIt won't do you a bit of good to review Math<br>\r\nIt's so simple<br>\r\nSo very simple<br>\r\nThat only a child can do it!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Come back tomorrow night.  We\u2019re going to do... jello shots off the teacher\u2019s desk.<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"When we were putting together our Tom Lehrer tribute album The FuMP Desecrates Tom Lehrer I decided to cover \"New Math\" for two reasons.  First, it's a song that can be easily made into a rap song, and second, I actually couldn't help my kids with their math homework because of the new Common Core math that they studied.  So I decided to rework the second verse of the song to make it about Common Core.","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2023-12-06","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"31","cover":"cover-up.jpg","url":"cover-up"},{"id":"342","title":"House Tickle Pfeiffer","artist":"1","file":"House_Tickle_Pfeiffer.mp3","freemp3":"House_Tickle_Pfeiffer.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"<p>This cover of the song by Schaffer the Darklord was performed at MarsCon in 2019 during the Dementia Smackdown.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2019-03-03","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"31","cover":"cover-up.jpg","url":"cover-up"},{"id":"343","title":"Mr. Xcitement","artist":"1","file":"Mr_Xcitement.mp3","freemp3":"Mr_Xcitement.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"<p>This cover of the song by They Might Be Giants was recorded for the Mink Car Cover project, the proceeds of which go to support the FDNY Foundation.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2011-08-01","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"31","cover":"cover-up.jpg","url":"cover-up"},{"id":"344","title":"Domino Death","artist":"1","file":"Domino_Death.mp3","freemp3":"Domino_Death.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"<p>This cover of the song by Tom Smith was hastily recorded for the Tom Smith fundraiser album Mr. Smith Goes to the Hospital.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2008-06-24","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"31","cover":"cover-up.jpg","url":"cover-up"},{"id":"345","title":"Words That Sound Dirty but Ain't","artist":"1","file":"Words_That_Sound_Dirty_But_Aint.mp3","freemp3":"Words_That_Sound_Dirty_But_Aint.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"<p>This cover of the song by Steve Goodie was performed at the Dementia Smackdown at MarsCon in 2018.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2018-03-04","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"31","cover":"cover-up.jpg","url":"cover-up"},{"id":"346","title":"Tortuga","artist":"1","file":"Tortuga.mp3","freemp3":"Tortuga.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"<p>This cover of the song by Alestorm was recorded exclusively for the Cover Up album and features guest vocals by pirate rapper Captain Dan.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2024-04-24","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"31","cover":"cover-up.jpg","url":"cover-up"},{"id":"347","title":"Hey Birthday Girl","artist":"1","file":"Hey_Birthday_Girl.mp3","freemp3":"Hey_Birthday_Girl.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"<p>This song, written by Spaff, was part of a compilation album of different artists all doing their own interpretation of these lyrics.  We were asked to do both \"birthday boy\" and \"birthday girl\" so I did.  I was going to include this as a bonus track on Fatal Error (which includes \"Hey, Birthday Boy\") but it literally would not fit on the CD, so I included it on Cover Up.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2007-05-01","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"31","cover":"cover-up.jpg","url":"cover-up"},{"id":"348","title":"Resistance","artist":"1","file":"Resistance.mp3","freemp3":"Resistance.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"Going the Distance by Cake","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"<p>This song, originally by the great Luke Ski, was covered for the Luke Ski tribute album Worst Tribute Ever, which was presented to Luke as a surprise during LukeSkiCon in 2013.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2013-06-09","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"31","cover":"cover-up.jpg","url":"cover-up"},{"id":"349","title":"Eat All the Old People","artist":"1","file":"Eat_All_the_Old_People.mp3","freemp3":"Eat_All_the_Old_People.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"<p>This song, originally by No Time, was a big hit on The Dr. Demento Show in the 90s, so when we did the first Dementia Smackdown concert in 2005 at MarsCon it seemed like a logical choice.  Luke Ski helped me out on stage with this one.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2005-03-06","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"31","cover":"cover-up.jpg","url":"cover-up"},{"id":"350","title":"Rhinoceratops vs Superpuma","artist":"1","file":"Rhinoceratops_vs_Superpuma.mp3","freemp3":"Rhinoceratops_vs_Superpuma.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"","private":"0","comments":"<p>This cover of the song by Ninja Sex Party was recorded for the Above the Covers tribute album produced by Insane Ian.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2020-02-18","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"31","cover":"cover-up.jpg","url":"cover-up"},{"id":"351","title":"Dead Rappers (Remastered)","artist":"2","file":"Dead_Rappers_remastered.mp3","freemp3":"Dead_Rappers_remastered.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 26\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"26\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 26\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"30\";}","guests":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"26\";i:1;s:3:\" 30\";}","lyrics":"I'm being haunted by the ghosts of dead rappers from both coasts\r\nPuttin' out albums long after they've decomposed\r\nSo their lyrics are a little behind the times\r\nBut how do they get the dead to write rhymes\r\nSong after song on the radio I hear \r\nIs by a guy who died in the yesteryear\r\nBut it's the best I hear of all the crap on the air\r\nIt's pretty sad when you compare it to those still breathing the air\r\nI've been looking for a deal since I wrote my first song\r\nNow I finally realized what I've been doing wrong\r\nIt's not my cheesy beats or that my lyrics aren't strong\r\nIt's just the simple fact that I've been living too long\r\nDead rappers got records flying off the shelf\r\nSo I might get a deal if I kill myself\r\nThat would pretty much guarantee more airplay\r\nBut I don't think I'd be able to enjoy the extra pay\r\nIt blows me away what the dead are achieving\r\nSilly me thought it'd be tough to rap without breathing\r\nDon't ya know being dead seems to be the way to go\r\nLook there's another dead rapper on the radio\r\n\r\nLivin' or not I gotta give 'em their props\r\nThey've been dead for years, but the rhymin' don't stop\r\nThey'll be back, doesn't matter what the death report is\r\nThrowin' down and bein' hard, but now due to rigor mortis\r\nThat rapper died late last fall, he's still rotting in the hall\r\nBut now he's got gold records on the wall\r\nIt's the dawn of the dead and the dead can rap\r\nStill gettin' paid while taking a dirt nap\r\nAnd in the store you hear the beats cranked high, you look the clerk\r\nIn the eye and say hey didn't this guy die\r\nTheir careers go on even though they're long gone\r\nThere's a signing next week out on Forest Lawn\r\nDead rappers got records on top of the charts\r\nAnd all I got is a degree in the liberal arts\r\nThat means that before I could ever be adored\r\nI'd have to be full of formaldahyde and stiff as a board\r\nI just can't believe what the dead are achieving\r\nHe's overstayed his welcome and he's just not leaving\r\nIt's another bonus for the record label CEO\r\nLook there's another dead rapper on the radio\r\n\r\n\"He be passed on! He has ceased to be!\r\nHomeboy has expired and gone to meet his maker! This is a \r\nlate rapper! They be stiff! Bereft of life, O.G.s rest in peace. \r\nOut!  Metabolical processes are of interest only to historians!\r\nMy man has hopped the twig!  Mofo has shuffled off this mortal \r\ncoil! Running upside the curtain and joined the choir invisible!\r\nIn short, this.... is an EX-RAPPER!\"\r\n\r\nScott LaRock has been dead for like fifteen years\r\nSo he'll probably do a video with Britney Spears\r\nEvery year we hear the news, there goes another one\r\nLined up on Death Row, (Chris: Now that's a big pun)\r\nBig L, Biggie Smalls, all the big rappers get death's\r\nGlance, so Buffy didn't stand a chance\r\nAnd their record labels won't leave well enough alone\r\n'Cause you can't collect royalties on a tombstone\r\nI got some advice for the folks who hate Eminem\r\nDon't kill him, 'cause then you'll never get rid of him\r\nThey'll put out best, worst, and unreleased rhymes\r\nGuest vocals and home videos until the end of time\r\nDead rappers got records flying off the shelf\r\nSo here's a toast to Jay-Z's health\r\nAnd to Puff Daddy, uh, P-Diddy, or whatever\r\nLive long and prosper, hell, live forever\r\n'Cause once they're gone we won't ever be free\r\nNo R.I.P. for R.A.P.\r\nDon't ya know being dead seems to be the way to go\r\nLook there's another dead rapper on the radio\r\n\r\nYo, dawg, that rapper's only mostly dead.  There's a big\r\ndifference between mostly dead and all dead.  Mostly dead is \r\nslightly alive.  Well, with all dead there's usually only\r\none thing you can do.\r\nWhat's what, yo?\r\nGo through his clothes and look for the bling bling!","private":"0","comments":"<p>It amazes me how many songs I hear on the radio by dead people.  I knew I was going to have to write a song about it.  So when Chris Waffle approached me about doing a song together I figured this would be a good topic for the collaboration.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>This song was remastered for the Rhythms from the Crypt compilation.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"352","title":"Star Trek Life (Remastered)","artist":"2","file":"Star_Trek_Life_remastered.mp3","freemp3":"Star_Trek_Life_remastered.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"Hard Knock Life\" by Jay-Z","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"11\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"11\";}","lyrics":"It's a Star Trek life for us\r\nIt's a Star Trek life for us\r\nSteadda work outs, feed my gut\r\nIt's a Star Trek life\r\n\r\nI'm standin' in a line a-waitin', the new movie\r\nAnd I've been here for a couple days, I'm drivin' a car\r\nThat looks like a Klingon Bird of Prey, I know the exchange\r\nrate to convert dollars to latinum, you know my type\r\nThe perfect complement for when we dine, is Blood Wine\r\nPeople think I'm out of my Vulcan mind, oh well\r\nWhere all my homes with the rubber ears, and fake hair\r\nIt may seem highly illogical, I don't care\r\nI'd love to build a replica of Quark's, we don't dare\r\nGet upset by all the snide remakrs, and funny stares\r\nI put on a Starfleet uniform and strutted, uh-huh\r\nI put on some make-up so my face looked rutted, uh-huh\r\nI grab a B'at L'eth and ack like a hot-head, I met\r\nYou know I'd love to take her out some day, but the Rules\r\nOf Acquision say she'd have to pay\r\n\r\nIt's a Star Trek life for us\r\nIt's a Star Trek life for us\r\nSteada pizza, we eat Gach\r\nSteada Fido, he's Tuvac\r\nIt's a Star Trek life\r\n\r\nMy beer belly hangs out, of the t-shirt\r\nThat I've had since 1983, all faded and stained\r\nWe live at conventions, spendin' my entire pension\r\nI took a pill that made my blood turn green, I prefer that\r\nI go to bed wishin', that I wake up on a five year mission\r\nI had a vision of Gawron, said I have no\r\nHonor, and I'll never get on a girl or two\r\nI want all those cool toys, from the Klingon knives\r\nTo the phasers, transporters, holidecks, and warp drives\r\nAnd it'd be great to let Seven of Nine assimilate me,\r\nGot a phaser for a remote control, deflector dish for my\r\nCereal bowl, lost my keys in a wormhole\r\nMy licence plate reads NC1709-D, \r\nI only wish it could go Warp 3\r\n\r\nIt's a Star Trek life for us\r\nIt's a Star Trek life for us\r\nSteadda papers, read e-zines\r\nSteadda mother-in-law, The Borg Qween\r\nIt's a Star Trek life for us\r\nIt's a Star Trek life for us\r\nSteadda datin', we roll play\r\nSteadda \"good luck\", say Q'apla!\r\nIt's a Star Trek life","private":"0","comments":"<p>I've been a science fiction fan for most of my life.  Star Trek, Dr. Who, I love all of that stuff.  This song was a long time in the making since it took most of my life to come up with the material.  The girls singing on the chorus are my mailman's daughter and one of her friends.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>This song was remastered for Rhythms from the Crypt<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"353","title":"New Jersey Lifestyle (Remastered)","artist":"2","file":"New_Jersey_Lifestyle_remastered.mp3","freemp3":"New_Jersey_Lifestyle_remastered.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"My Lifestyle\" by Fat Joe","backgroundcredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 4\";i:2;s:2:\" 2\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"<p>Yeah, Jersey baby!<br>\r\nWelcome to Jersey, ya heard?<br>\r\nYeah, uh!<br>\r\nCan't even pump your own gas here!<br>\r\nYo, yeah yeah, yo...<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I live alone in the armpit of the nation <br>\r\nIn the state with the densest population <br>\r\nThe Garden State, where the gardener wrecks it <br>\r\nI tell people where I live by the exit <br>\r\nJoisey, where hygene's secondary <br>\r\nIf the locals ever saw a real book they'd commit Hari Kari <br>\r\nNeon glow car, chain around the license plate <br>\r\nTwo inches off of the ground, it's like a rollerskate <br>\r\nMe and my neighbors play a game whenever we're at <br>\r\nBaskin Robbins, seein' who can count the most flavors <br>\r\nA-yo, if you're looking for class you're outta luck <br>\r\nThe state symbol is Calvin urinating on a Ford truck <br>\r\nMuscle shirts are considered formal attire <br>\r\nMy neighbor's hobby is to sit for hours watching the drier <br>\r\nAnd at the strip club, is the bride of Frankenstein <br>\r\nWith a back so hairy that it's a crime <br>\r\nBefore you visit that park you best be insured <br>\r\nEveryone I know has come back severely injured <br>\r\nDon't look at me 'cause it's out of my control <br>\r\nPeople disappear for years in our massive pot holes, whoa<\/p> <br>\r\n<br>\r\n<p>[chorus] <br>\r\nYa'll wanna live my lifestyle <br>\r\nNever had a job, never seen a dentist <br>\r\nWanna hang with the boys, go to Wal-Mart <br>\r\nVisit me and I'm-a show you inbred<\/p> <br>\r\n<br>\r\n<p>At least have the state has major brain damage <br>\r\nYou'll get the same replies talking to a ham sandwich <br>\r\nMy next door neighbor only bathes on a Friday <br>\r\nBut every single day he uses soap to wash his driveway <br>\r\nThat's why the first week in July as we speak <br>\r\nIs National Be Nice To New Jersey Week <br>\r\nGod help you if you wanna turn left, you have to be deft <br>\r\nUsually you have to make three rights to go left <br>\r\nAnd get this, if you take the folks on my street <br>\r\nAnd add 'em up maybe you could get a full set of teeth <br>\r\nYou wouldn't believe, but one of 'em forgot how to breathe, so much <br>\r\nHair in their nose you could make your own weave <br>\r\nIt's a last resort, where chickens can be child <br>\r\nSupport, and driving is a contact sport <br>\r\nIt's where malls are considered a shrine, I've lived here <br>\r\nFor three years, I'm fittin' in just fine <br>\r\nIt's a place where kids play the game Name Those Scents <br>\r\nWhere all the garbage gets recycled into lawn ornaments <br>\r\nThe nuts in my town all belong in the pound <br>\r\nEven Smokey the bear said go 'head, burn it down, go on <br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>For years New Jersey has been the butt of many jokes.  Having lived there for several years now I can tell you first hand they deserve it.  I actually have a neighbor who washes his driveway every day with soap.  First he hoses it down.  Then he takes a scrub brush, dips it in a bucket of water, and scrubs his driveway.  Then he rinses it off.  I've never seen anything like it.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>This song was remastered for Rhythms from the Crypt<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"354","title":"Superfriends (Remastered)","artist":"2","file":"Superfriends_remastered.mp3","freemp3":"Superfriends_remastered.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 4\";i:2;s:3:\" 27\";}","parodyof":"\"Ghetto Superstar\" by Pras","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"27\";}","lyrics":"We are superfriends, fighting till the end\r\nWith the Wonder Twins, yes we always win\r\nCome along with us, an adventure 'waits\r\nWe will be ready to rock, uh huh\r\nWith our corny dialog, uh huh\r\n\r\nSome got X-Ray eyes, some fly through the skies\r\nBut these high tech guys always find the best buys\r\nFrom Batman to Superman, Aquaman\r\nThe Green Lantern keeps us nice and tan\r\nWho dares oppose us, the Hall of Justice stars\r\nA million criminals with unlimited Visa cards\r\nBlack Manta, the Legion of Doom\r\nA genetic nightmare, there's no time to lose\r\nI'm from Krypton, Aquaman knows Davey Jones\r\nWonder Woman by my side, how I'd like to jump her bones\r\nStrike with the force of a truck full of stones, but\r\nKryptonite affects me like the sun on ice cream cones\r\nI'm-a lead my friends to victory over the villains\r\nKeeping the peace so you folks can keep \"chilling\"\r\nAll without making a single killing\r\nSo the bad guys can come back for a sequel or a zillion\r\n  \r\nWhen danger calls, we don't pause at all\r\nWe will fight for all, in our underalls\r\nWatch us every week, as we kick some butt\r\nUse my jet and magic lasso, uh huh\r\nThat Lex Luthor's such an... bad guy, uh huh\r\n  \r\nMy ears are pointed, Robin's double jointed\r\nGet any girl I want, but I try not to flaunt it\r\nI bought this new high tech utility belt\r\nThe best one they sell, guaranteed not to melt\r\nI think Robin is swell, but can't stand how he smells\r\nTogether we'll catch the Riddler, put him in a cell\r\nI know we'll get him, cause we're a team\r\nBut I still don't know what Holy Halibut means.\r\nNow Mitzelplix is back, he's a pain in the neck\r\nOnly way to send him back is if he says his name backwards\r\nMan, messin' up my brain like a pound of crack\r\nTurned me into a big flower creature that quacked\r\nGrin like a Cheshire Cat, suit like a jester\r\nBody like an elf, voice like Fran Drescher\r\nDoesn't matter in the end, 'cuase I always win\r\nSend him back to the fifth dimension once again\r\n  \r\nCity's under seige, villains all you see\r\n'Nother crazy scheme, call the Justice League\r\nWe will be right there, to restore the peace\r\nYou can rely on the good guys, uh huh\r\nAnd nobody ever dies, uh huh\r\n  \r\nJust when we thought we were finally done\r\nBrainiac, Bizarro, and the Toyman come\r\nTwo Face, didn't make it into this show\r\nBut we still got the Cheetah, Lex Luthor, and Scarecrow\r\nI installed our new computer today\r\n'Cause our old one had about 32K\r\nThings were going fine, everything was great\r\nTill I went and installed Windows98\r\nNow the damn thing doesn't work at all\r\nAnd we're in debt to our necks from the tech support calls\r\nAnd Robin won't talk to me he's still sore\r\nThat he can't access his porn\r\n\r\nGood old Superfriends, city's one defense\r\nNow when things get tense, we can call our friends\r\nWe will kick some butt, and for free no less\r\nAnd now evil better beware, uh huh\r\n'Cause the Superfriends'll be there, uh huh\r\n  \r\nGood old Superfriends, evil we will fend\r\nIt comes back again, but it never wins\r\nAnd we'll be right here, Till the end of time\r\nAnd nothing can ever stop us, uh huh\r\nTill our show stops making profits, uh huh","private":"0","comments":"<p>Before there was the Justice League (an amazing show on Cartoon Network) there was Superfriends.  This was the show I grew up watching.  The bad acting, bad animation, and silly story lines somehow made for an absolutely incredible show.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>This song was remastered for Rhythms from the Crypt.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"355","title":"Road Ragin' (Remastered)","artist":"2","file":"Road_Ragin_remastered.mp3","freemp3":"Road_Ragin_remastered.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 13\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"Bawitaba by Kid Rock","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"13\";}","lyrics":"[chorus]:\r\nFoot to the floor, get out the way, ziggin' zaggin'\r\nZiggin' through the traffic and up goes the finger \r\nGet out of my waaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!\r\nComin' through!\r\n\r\nAnd this is for the people who I see while I'm drivin'\r\nWho despite their own stupidity are somehow alive\r\nThe braindead freaks, who refuse to wake up\r\nThe guys who are shaving and the chicks with make up\r\nThe guy behind me in the rear view mirror\r\nFollowing so close I can see his nose hairs\r\nThe moron flying by me changing his clothes\r\nThe guys who only concentrate on picking their nose\r\nAll you punks who make your engines roar\r\nThe hundred year old lady who can't see anymore\r\nThe guy who has to steer with his knees all night\r\n'Cause there's a beer in his left hand and a joint in his right\r\nFor the suicidal freaks tryin' to beat the train\r\nThe guy who made the U-turn from the right hand lane\r\nTheir stupidity's amazing, I'm completely stunned\r\nNow get off the road before you kill someone!\r\n[chorus]\r\n\r\nI wish I had a nickel that somebody would give me\r\nFor every time a moron on the phone nearly hit me\r\nWild antics in parking lots \r\nThey'd run over their own daughter just to get a good spot\r\nAnd guys who stare at an accident \r\nEven if it's nothin' but a little 2 inch dent \r\nWhile you're lookin' at the crash, you're bound to cause one \r\nNow get off the road before you kill someone\r\n[chorus]\r\n\r\nHey watch it, buddy!\r\nYeah same to you!\r\nYou go to Hell!\r\nDIE!!","private":"0","comments":"<p>It's absolutely amazing how bad people drive.  One time I actually saw a guy make a U turn from the right hand lane across six lanes of traffic cutting off five other cars in the process.  So when \"road rage\" became the media's phrase of the month I figured I'd jump on the bandwagon and write a song.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>This song was remastered for Rhythms from the Crypt<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"356","title":"PMS (Remix)","artist":"2","file":"PMS_remix.mp3","freemp3":"PMS_remix.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"O.P.P.\" by Naughty By Nature","backgroundcredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 38\";i:2;s:3:\" 14\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"14\";}","lyrics":"P.M.S., I just can't take it, it's like an earthquake\r\nIt takes over her emotions and then breaks it\r\nP is for Pre, M is for Menstrual intervening\r\nThe final S has a lot of different meanings\r\nThey call it Syndrome but the women say another thing\r\nThey often say that it stands for Suffering\r\nBut from a male point of view it seems that this will never quit\r\nWe say it simply stands for Shit, bust it\r\nYa ever met a girl you wanna take out on a date?\r\nYou get her name and number then go pick her up at 8\r\nYou both have fun so you don't want this night with her to end\r\nThen when it does you're makin' plans to go see her again\r\nYou're not expecting B to the I to the T to the C to the H\r\nBut when she opens up the door she slaps you in the face\r\n'Cause you were just a minute late she flips and thinks you're cheatin'\r\nLooks down at your groin then procedes to kick it\r\nHow many guys out there have been through what I just explained?\r\nYou're nice to her but go home in excruciating pain?\r\nWell if you have that's P.M.S. and you're now down with it\r\nBut if you haven't stay away from it\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nYa down wit' P.M.S.? Yeah you know us!\r\nYa down wit' P.M.S.? Yeah you know us!\r\nYa down wit' P.M.S.? Yeah you know us!\r\nWho's down wit' P.M.S.? Every last one of us!\r\n\r\nOften ladies with P.M.S go on a rampage\r\nYou bes' get out of their way before you get damaged\r\nBug it's normal, the calm that comes right before the storm\r\nJust like a werewolf, every month they transform\r\nI won't get into that, I'll play it sorta wise but\r\nYa know what bothers me? Hmmm, advertisements\r\nHere she comes again... (scream)... get the hell\r\nAway from me, now tell me exactly\r\nHave you ever watched a tv show you like and then an ad comes on\r\nYou're watchin' football and the ad is for a new tampon\r\nOr see a mother and a daughter say they feel fresh\r\nYou'd think the guy was havin' trouble with his P.M.S.\r\nDo these commercials hit their mark? Ya know I kinda doubt it\r\nWhen guys watch football, P.M.S., don't wanna hear about it\r\nIt's like the Hair Club ads you see on the Headbanger's Ball\r\nThe kids who watch that have got hair that stretches wall to wall\r\nIf you agree with me and are stick of this I wanna know\r\nSay \"P.M.S.\" (\"P.M.S!\") get off my TV show!\r\nNow when you say it say it loud and get your point accross\r\nYou're now down with a discharge\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\n\r\nLife, P.M.S. and me, I met a girlie who was sweet\r\nBut she turned me into pulvarized meat\r\nIt was the third time I saw her when all the trouble started\r\nShe tried to kill me in my very own apartment, bust it\r\nI don't know how it happened but she said I hurt her feelings\r\nAnd then the next thing that I knew she threw me through the ceiling\r\nShe grabbed a sledgehammer and then she came right after me\r\nShe made me feel liek the writer trapped in Misery\r\nI tried to leave but couldn't leave because of what she'd do\r\nShe dragged me up atop the stairs and down the stairs I flew\r\nShe said I shouldn't come to visit when she's P.M.S.-ed\r\nShe never told me when it happened so I missed my guess\r\nI didn't know this girl had cramps that didn't want to quit\r\nShe backed me up against the wall and then she hit and hit\r\nThat's rule #1 when this P.M.S. makes her a beast\r\nJust stay the hell away and you may get out in one piece\r\nPathetic isn't it I wish that I'd be missin' it\r\nBut I'm always at home when P.M.S. comes over visitin'\r\nThis is the way that it's always been\r\nOh my God here comes P.M.S. again\r\n\r\n[chorus]","private":"0","comments":"<p>Just some experiences I've had<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>This song was remixed and remastered for Rhythms from the Crypt<\/p>","ralink":"pms.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";i:1;s:2:\" 5\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"357","title":"Abby Normal (Remix)","artist":"2","file":"Abby_Normal_remix.mp3","freemp3":"Abby_Normal_remix.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Well Tally ho! Yippy ki-yi-ya! Narf! Zort! \r\nLet's burn the ship and throw the kids overboard \r\nI'm bored (I'm bored) I need something to do \r\nHow 'bout we go free all the animals in the zoo \r\n[huh huh that would be cool] \r\nOr we could just sit here and drool \r\nI'm a fool, I dropped out of school at age three \r\nThen I chased my little brother up a tree, \r\nYa see I'm a twisted guy, fly six miles high \r\nLive in a pig sty, refuse to comply \r\nWith the safe, plain, cautious way to do things \r\nI found my puppet master and I cut all his strings \r\nAnd then I wrapped them tight around his throat \r\nBlew a hole in the castle, threw his ass in the moat \r\nNow I'm free [free!] free to reak havoc \r\nRun around foamin' at the mouth like I'm rabid \r\nBitin' everybody I'm near in the rear \r\nDo you see where I'm comin' from? Somewhere over here \r\nI'm out to have fun, this is how it's done \r\n[dum-ditty-ditty-dum, big, big fun]\r\n\r\nNormal is boring, same is mundane \r\nYou can't really have fun until you lose your brain \r\nSo rip it out through your nose or cut open your head \r\nAnd you'll be kinda like me [brain dead] \r\nKeep people confused make everybody guess \r\nForget V.E.G I'm down wit' P.M.S \r\nI go to bed, go insane, then I go into debt \r\nI do the Thorazine Shuffle","private":"0","comments":"<p>This song was remixed and remastered for Rhythms from the Crypt<\/p>","ralink":"abbynormal.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"358","title":"Halitosis (Remix)","artist":"2","file":"Halitosis_remix.mp3","freemp3":"Halitosis_remix.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 25\";}","parodyof":"\"California Love\" by Dr. Dre and 2Pac","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"18\";}","guests":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"18\";i:1;s:3:\" 25\";}","lyrics":"Halitosis\r\nHurts everybody\r\nYour halitosis\r\nIs ungodly\r\nIt's amazing how bad you smell\r\nIt's amazing I'm still alive\r\nIt's amazing what you smell like\r\nNo you're not very well liked\r\nNow I know what Hell's like\r\n\r\nNow let me introduce the brother with the wild wild breath\r\nHis face is untouchable like grandmother's breasts\r\nThe smell hits your nose hard, then you hit the floor\r\nYou're out cold for a week and for a month you'll be sore\r\nHe's only got three teeth and they all are rotten\r\nA state of emergency is what he's gotten\r\nForgotten how to brush his last three teeth\r\nLean green infected dental roots underneath\r\nA few years ago he moved to the town where I am\r\nAnd then all our pets started dyin'\r\nI couldn't believe the smell that came from his jaw\r\nBloody mess, lookin' like he chewed on a chainsaw\r\nThe smell reaches clear from Alaska to New York\r\nHe's gotta grind his food and then eat it off a spork\r\nUh, pull his finger, it smells the same way\r\nStrong enough to sink Californ-i-a\r\n\r\nHalitosis\r\nHurts everybody \r\nYour halitosis\r\nIs ungodly\r\nIt's amazing your jaw is attached\r\nIt's amazing your house still stands\r\nIt's amazing how bad it's gotten\r\nYour mouth is rotten, it keeps on rottin'\r\nBrush, brush 'em baby\r\nBrush brush your teeth\r\nFor the love of God\r\nGo brush your teeth\r\n\r\nNow what comes out of homie's mouth has really got me cryin'\r\nSoon as he comes in the room you see some people dyin'\r\nHe's got that musty, lover-losin', hygiene resistant\r\nBreath that smells like a dead cow\r\nHe really doesn't give a damn of what the people think though\r\nYesterday he got a government fine ([Spice]yeah, I know)\r\nHe never ate a certs or even chewed on bubble-gum\r\nFlosses after meals but the string cuts through his gums\r\nBeen on TV programs world wide\r\nFrom the Oprah Winfrey show to Live at Five\r\nI think his breath is gettin' worse now, it's opaque\r\nTo get through it you may have to use a snow plow\r\nHe's a disgrace, so give me that bomb from the base\r\nI'm gonna blow that ugly smile off his face\r\nI think I need back up, 'cause the smell is comin' back up\r\nI grab a suitcase and I pack up, get me out!\r\n\r\nHalitosis \r\nHurts everybody\r\nHalitosis\r\nIs ungodly\r\nIt's amazing that you can breathe\r\nIt's amazing your tongue still works\r\nIt's amazing what color your breath is\r\nHe thinks it's precious\r\nBut look how my flesh is\r\nBrush, brush 'em baby\r\nBrush brush your teeth\r\nFor the love of God\r\nGo brush your teeth","private":"0","comments":"<p>\"California Love\" was begging to be parodied, although this one nearly killed me.  I wrote it, did the music, sent the 4-track tape to Tony, he added his vocals, then I got the tape from Luke with his a capalla rap which I had to manually synchronize with the music, then put everything together...finally.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>This song was remixed and remastered for Rhythms from the Crypt<\/p>","ralink":"halitosis.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"6\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"359","title":"Praying To The Porcelain God (Remix)","artist":"2","file":"Praying_To_The_Porcelain_God_remix.mp3","freemp3":"Praying_To_The_Porcelain_God_remix.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 38\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"I'm here praying to the Porcelain God, oh my God I'm gonna puke\r\nWhat's the use, now my body's made of juice\r\nAnd it's all gonna fly out my mouth you know why\r\nBecause I drank too much, now I think I'm gonna die\r\nI'm on my hands and knees, now I'm praying\r\nWell, actually I'm vomiting, but listen to me saying\r\nThat I'm sick and I'm sorry, could you ever forgive\r\nI won't touch another drop if you just let me live\r\nHelp my soul great toilet bowl\r\nI've lost my stomach as well as control\r\nJust let me survive as I strive not to crush\r\nSo I can wipe away my troubles with one quick flush\r\nMy body is sore, I can't take anymore\r\nMy insides have spilled all over the floor\r\nPlease help me to be like I used to be\r\nGreat Porcelain God I beg of thee\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nPlease no more (no more)\r\nLet me make it through the night all right (all right)\r\nMy stomach has reached a new height\r\nPlease great Porcelain God no more (no more no more)\r\n(Kneel, Vomit, Flush)\r\n\r\nThis'll be my last if you change the past\r\nI got a gas overload I think I'm gonna explode\r\nNobody's perfect some of us are just sicker\r\nAnd you can't blame me if I can't hold my liquor\r\nIt was an honest mistake, I overdid the intake\r\nNow my stomach is rumblin' like a California earthquake\r\nThe act is done, I gotta face the truth\r\nI've become a living version of the Fountain Of Youth\r\nThis is a time that's appropriate for death\r\nI've succeeded in making one hell of a mess\r\nIn the stall, on the wall, there's nothing left to do\r\nFace down on the floor I pray to you\r\n\r\n[chorus]","private":"0","comments":"<p>My roommate drank. My roommate puked. I wrote a song.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>This song was remixed and remastered for Rhythms from the Crypt<\/p>","ralink":"prayingtotheporcelaingod.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"360","title":"Necrophilia (Remix)","artist":"2","file":"Necrophilia_remix.mp3","freemp3":"Necrophilia_remix.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 37\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 38\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Living in the dead zone, my foreplay\r\nTakes place in the land where cadavers decay\r\nEvery Friday night I go out to the necropolis\r\nAnd take my situation to the max and get on top of it\r\nPeople think I'm sick and I never deny it\r\nI just tell the people not to knock it till they try it\r\nBut nobody understands, they think I'm sick in the head\r\nJust because I am obsessed with making love to the dead\r\nI'm a necrophiliac\r\nI'm in love with the dead, no I'm not smokin' crack\r\nMy wife dropped dead just a couple years back\r\n\"'Til death do us part\" is a load of horse crap\r\nTake it from me 'cause we're still in love\r\nGot an everlasting blessing from the Man up above\r\nMy wife is the best, she makes me feel dizzy\r\nMe and the corpse are gonna get busy\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nWham! Bam! Thank you ma'am\r\nThose underground are the best in the land\r\nWham! Bam! Thank you ma'am\r\nIf the dead can't do it, no one can\r\n\r\nDead things rule, I mean nothing goes wrong\r\nMan I never hear complaints about how big or how long\r\nMany people think it's sick just because the body's cold\r\nBut I love bein' the one in total control\r\nShe never talks back, she doesn't even say no\r\nShe doesn't care if I'm diggin' her up fast or slow\r\nAnd girls if you're looking for the man of your dreams\r\nYou can dig him up anywhere and I guarantee\r\nThat he'll be hard, but now back to me\r\nThe thing I like about it is so easy to see\r\nI can go anywhere and I'll always have a date\r\nShe's all I ever wanted and she never comes late\r\nBirth control, don't need none of those things\r\nDead things can't reproduce more dead things\r\nBones and rotting skin are nice to the touch\r\nAnd the worms and the maggots don't mind too much\r\nCadavers look cool when they're dressed up in charms\r\nJust as long as she doesn't fall apart in my arms\r\nIf you can't see it my way, don't give me flack\r\nCarcasses are sexy when they're flat on their back\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\n[chorus]","private":"0","comments":"<p>This is what I do on weekends for entertainment.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>This song was remixed and remastered for Rhythms from the Crypt<\/p>","ralink":"necrophilia.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 5\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"361","title":"It Sucks To Be You (Remix)","artist":"2","file":"It_Sucks_To_Be_You_remix.mp3","freemp3":"It_Sucks_To_Be_You_remix.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"God damn, why don't you get a life\r\nI know beauty is only skin deep, you're right\r\nBut ugly goes down to the bone\r\nSo how's your love life, still holdin' your own?\r\nYa know I just saved your rear\r\nI killed a shit eatin' dog on the way over here\r\nDon't get embarrassed, no need to blush\r\nBut you're so full of shit that the toilet won't flush\r\nWhat's that stuff comin' out of your toes\r\nYo, you got a big green thing on the end of your nose\r\nAs for looks you're a gonner\r\nSo ugly no dog would ever want to piss on you\r\nThe I.Q. of a slug\r\nGot hit by a cup and said you got mugged\r\nAnd I really think it's funny\r\nThat you sold the car when you needed gas money\r\nYou're hopeless man, you ain't got no class\r\nSo fat it takes two trips just to haul ass\r\nAnd for your first kiss you had to beg\r\nCouldn't get laid if you were made like an egg\r\nAnd when's the last time you showered\r\nMan you smell like you died back in 1985\r\nI guess there's nothing I can do\r\nBut I tell you one thing, man, it must suck to be you\r\n\r\nWhen you were born the doctor slapped your mother\r\nAnd thought the afterbirth was gonna be your twin brother\r\nAnd you grew up broke\r\nAnd nobody fixed you so now you're a joke\r\nBecause you're just so wide\r\nThat when you walk down the street there ain't no other side\r\nAnd you were just outta luck\r\nWhen you jumped in the air and your ass got stuck\r\nTook a trip went to visit Japan\r\nAnd they thought Godzilla came back again\r\nYour house redefines the bad mess\r\nI can't believe that you failed your blood test\r\nI got some bad news for ya, don't cry\r\nI told your mom to act her age and the bitch died\r\nWhat diseases you got? Man I heard that\r\nDuring phone sex the hoes make you wear a jimmy hat\r\nNow I'm not trying to be rude\r\nBut you don't get crabs from eatin' sea food\r\nAnd if you wanna clean your ears, my God\r\nBuy some Q-Tips, quit usin' tampons\r\nYou don't sweat much for a fat bastard\r\nPut your car in drive and it might go faster\r\nGo play in traffic if you got nothing else to do\r\nDamn, it's really gotta suck to be you","private":"0","comments":"<p>Dedicate this one to whoever you want.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>This song was remixed and remastered for Rhythms from the Crypt<\/p>","ralink":"itsuckstobeyou.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"362","title":"Bran (Remix)","artist":"2","file":"Bran_remix.mp3","freemp3":"Bran_remix.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"Slam\" by Onyx","backgroundcredit":"a:6:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";i:2;s:3:\" 37\";i:3;s:2:\" 4\";i:4;s:3:\" 38\";i:5;s:3:\" 22\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"22\";}","lyrics":"[chorus] \r\nBran! Duh-duh-duh, duh-duh-duh\r\nFor when you're stuck! \r\nBran! Duh-duh-duh, duh-duh-duh \r\nDiarrhea!!  \r\n\r\nC'mon have another one, then another one, eat all of 'em \r\nChoose one from the supermarket, there's a whole wall of 'em \r\nCereals with bran and fiber in 'em make you crap a lot \r\nIt makes your butt feel all slimy \r\nI'm-a show you how, c'mon all together now \r\nYeah, that's how it's gotta be \r\nCereals with bran and a lot of fiber in it \r\nIn your mouth out your rear, in a span of three minutes \r\nPrune juice, wash it down, clean you out fast \r\nPant's droppin', the floppin' and ploppin' splashin' your ass \r\nOnce it gets started, it just won't quit \r\nAnd then ulllgghhh, to big to fit \r\n98% of constipated people couldn't give a shit \r\nLittle bit problem isn't it what's fixin' it \r\nI got a plan, I'm the man sittin' on the can \r\nAll because I eat a lot of bran \r\n[chorus]  \r\n\r\nI'm-a sit here sittin' on the shitter in pain, oh \r\nThe only thing that cleans you out better is Drano \r\nBut you can't beat bran for it's raz-a-ma-taz \r\nMakes you \"ullgh-raptha-thbbb\" like my main man Taz \r\nIf one bowl doesn't work have one more \r\nAnd you won't be constipated any more \r\nBloated, loaded, you better be prepared \r\nIf not it'll feel like your lungs have imploded \r\nThe smell it makes me high, I desecrate the air \r\nBe there for a week and never come up for air \r\nMy crew, yup, my fans, yup, we all got plans \r\nTo be sittin' on the john with the tidy bowl man \r\nThe smell, the sound, it gets all around you.\r\nWe got enough toilet paper? I'm goin' for Round 2 \r\nFill it to the brim, I lost ten pounds \r\nYou run for your life before the smell tracks you down \r\n[chorus]  \r\n\r\nI'm the new king, sittin' on the porcelain throne \r\nHurry up and give me the damn plunger before this thing overflows \r\nTons of it in the potty, my body created \r\nGive some to the White House, they're all constipated \r\nStuff comes out my ass like it was Niagara Falls \r\nSo much of it falls that it splashes my balls \r\nAnd I, let it go so I [fart] um excuse me \r\nI started this nasty caper to create a toxic vapor \r\nFor that I give praise to the maker \r\n'Cause cereals now come with a free roll of toilet paper \r\nBut but but wait I see stars \r\nI'm so full of gas I could drive to Mars \r\nWhen I'm not on the can, I'm shoppin with my man \r\nBuyin' some cereals with fiber and, and [chorus]","private":"0","comments":"<p>This song was remixed and remastered for Rhythms from the Crypt<\/p>","ralink":"bran.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";i:1;s:2:\" 5\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"363","title":"Do You Piss In The Shower? (Remix)","artist":"2","file":"Do_You_Piss_In_The_Shower_remix.mp3","freemp3":"Do_You_Piss_In_The_Shower_remix.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 38\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"I was walkin' through the mall headin' to the record store \r\nGonna buy a new tape that came out the day before \r\nHalfway there when I got a big scare \r\nThere's a guy with a clipboard scratching his hair \r\nWith a pencil, he's a Mall-Cockroach \r\nAnd his face lit up when h saw me approach \r\nI didn't even look at him I tried to hide \r\nAnd I gradually wandered to the mall's other side \r\nA guided missile couldn't catch me as fast \r\nAs this guy did as I tried to walk past \r\nPushed his face in mine and said \"Excuse me sir, \r\nMay I have a few minutes of your time for a survey?\" \r\nMy first thought was to bash in his skull with a brick \r\nAnd then get out of there quick \r\nBut there's witnesses around, they would see him goin' down \r\nAnd the last thing I need is to be sent downtown \r\nSo I told him make it quick, do it short and to the point \r\nI had to keep a gynecologist appointment \r\nI really just didn't want to be there for an hour \r\nThen he turned to me and said, Do you piss in the shower? \r\nUhhh, I didn't know what to say \r\nI was expecting an important question from the survey \r\nMaybe something about AIDS for an intelligent discussion \r\nNot a meaningless remark about a bodily function \r\nHe was serious and I was shocked \r\nI just stuttered for a minute, I was in a mental block \r\nThen he informed me that the government was payin' \r\nTo see how much urine was goin' down the drain \r\nJust one of many studies that the government endows \r\nLike how many gay seagulls and how many farting cows \r\nWho really cares? So I said I'm gonna go \r\nMy piss is my business so you're never gonna know \r\nBut this is a real problem, we gotta try and fix it \r\nHomelessness is caused by too many people pissin' \r\nThe theory makes sense and it's really quite frightening\r\nI said, you're on drugs, but please, enlighten me \r\nGladly, scientists last year found \r\nThat urine from the shower drain leaks into the ground \r\nIt gets into the water that everybody drinks \r\nThen it messes with their mind so the people can't think \r\nThey start takin' drugs all day and night \r\nThen they lose their job 'cause they don't do it right \r\nNo job, no money, no home \r\nThis is a serious problem we can't leave alone \r\nHe seemed to want to make a career about piss \r\nAnd I couldn't believe he was serious about this \r\nSo I walked away, I needed out of that place \r\nBut he turned and got right in my face \r\nI got a weird felling kinda like heartburn \r\n'Cause this guy was more attached to me than a tapeworm \r\nI'm positive this guy would have followed me home \r\nI said get out of my face and leave my urine alone \r\nI pushed him away and wiped his spit off my chest \r\nHe said You're not gonna answer? Surely you jest \r\nI said yeah, I jest, I jest oughtta kill you \r\nAsk me again and some blood will be spilled \r\nDo you piss in the shower?  Boom, that's that \r\nBashed his face against the wall a few times now it's flat \r\nAnd with his very last gasp of air he said \r\nDo you piss in the shower?, so I pissed on his head.","private":"0","comments":"<p>This song was remixed and remastered for Rhythms from the Crypt<\/p>","ralink":"doyoupissintheshower.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"364","title":"Hip Hop Gangsta (Remix)","artist":"2","file":"Hip_Hop_Gangsta_remix.mp3","freemp3":"Hip_Hop_Gangsta_remix.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 37\";i:2;s:2:\" 4\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"One two for my crew, three fo' for the dough that I'm\r\nMakin', five six seven for the lives that I'm\r\nTakin', eight nine ten for my singers\r\nStart over at one because I ran out of fingers\r\nBut I got a finger for you and it's the middle\r\nAnd like Batman, you'll be plagued with a riddle\r\nWho do you think you are, and who are you gonna\r\nBe, so you can make the money like me\r\nI grew up on the streets of some town I never been in \r\nI write rhymes about crimes I never did and get the women\r\nAnd when I'm done I go home and stare blankly out the window\r\nAnd get back to killin' everything...on Nintendo\r\nNext year when my career is caput\r\nI'll find another image that'll work just as good\r\nBut for now I'm gettin' major play on eMpTyV\r\nSo a gangsta's life is the life for me\r\n\r\n(chorus)\r\nWe do gang-bangs and drive-bys\r\nAnd when it comes to blunts we got a year's supply\r\nBut we only act tough on the video screen\r\n'Cause we ain't really part of that gangsta scene (repeat)\r\n\r\nWell yeah, bow wow wow, I'm a gangsta\r\nI'm in it to win it like the lottery thanks to\r\nThe formula for how to turn vinyl into gold\r\nI can sit back and chill while I sell my soul\r\nTo the label that labeled me as a true G\r\nNext week I start shootin' for a gangsta movie\r\nAnd that's when the money'll start pourin' in\r\nAnd sequel after sequel there'll be more of it\r\nAll this because I use my gat when I oughtta\r\nPup the clip, pull the trigger and it'll spray you full o' water\r\nYeah, it's just a prop but it'll get me to the top\r\nAnd it's the only way that I'll be gettin' any kind of props\r\nSo for now while I'm foolin' everyone in the game\r\nI'll make song after song that are practically the same\r\nAnd I'll be laughin' all the way to the bank\r\nSo I'm-a keep on livin' up the life of a gangsta\r\n\r\n(chorus)\r\n\r\nYou hear another g-funk song and ask who is it\r\nIs it Snoop or someone else who's equally full of shizzit\r\nLike a rock star who only knows two or three chords\r\nI'm-a play it and a play it till the public gets bored\r\nAnd then I'm gonna play it some more and collect\r\nMore royalties from the days that I had respect\r\nAnd then I can retire from this hectic life\r\nOf writin' rhymes about crimes I never did and get a wife\r\nBut for now this ain't bad I work an hour a day\r\nI use someone else's music then sit back and get paid\r\nI only sing about blunts and how I hate the police\r\nAnd my posse yells \"Shoot 'em up, shoot 'em up!\" Peace\r\nI sleep all day and I party all night\r\nI get drunk play Nintendo and maybe pick a fight\r\nI got money, got respect and got tons o' girls\r\nI'm a hip hop gangsta, best life in the world","private":"0","comments":"<p>I wrote this a long time ago when G-Funk was still the in thing.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>This song was remixed and remastered for Rhythms from the Crypt<\/p>","ralink":"hiphopgangsta.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"6\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"365","title":"Hold On (To Your Lunch) (Remix)","artist":"2","file":"Hold_On_(To_Your_Lunch)_remix.mp3","freemp3":"Hold_On_(To_Your_Lunch)_remix.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","vocalscredit":"a:3:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";i:2;s:2:\" 4\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Hold on to your lunch 'cause the Sudden Death bunch\r\nIs buggin' in my basement comin' up with a crunch\r\nThat settles in your stomach runs it all around\r\nTill it spews out your mouth then spills on the ground\r\nCan't think of anything creative so we're wastin' our time\r\nComin' up with a rediculous rhyme\r\nWe're gonna make you neasous, that's the way we run our biz\r\nIt's comin' up my throat, here it comes...","private":"0","comments":"<p>The one-take wonder.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>This song was remixed and remastered for Rhythms from the Crypt<\/p>","ralink":"holdontoyourlunch.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"366","title":"Psycho Slut From Hell (Remix)","artist":"2","file":"Psycho_Slut_From_Hell_remix.mp3","freemp3":"Psycho_Slut_From_Hell_remix.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"38\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"The girl has got a hole kinda like the Grand Canyon \r\nNo there ain't a jimmy that the jenny would abandon \r\nDoesn't matter, short, fat, thin, wide \r\nJumps up, spreads her legs, down, boom, what a ride \r\nGot a second pair of lips that flap in the breeze \r\nShe can stretch 'em from her hips on down to her knees \r\nThere's a hole in the middle of her panty hose \r\nAnd she found a new use for a garden hose \r\nDon't try to satisfy if you go to ram her  \r\nUnless you can compete with her new jackhammer \r\nI see her all around and her round behind \r\nIs always bouncin' up and down on anything she can find \r\nAny surface will do, no need for a bed \r\nEnough yeast infections to bake a loaf of bread \r\nHell hath no fury like her doggy style \r\nEver since she was a child she's been gettin' buck-wild \r\n\r\n\"Would you, could you, on a plane? \r\nWould you, could you, on a train? \r\nWould you, could you, on a boat? \r\nWould you, could you, with a goat?\".  \r\n\r\nIt's possible the girl is finally going to be happy \r\nI think she found a guy that can satisfy the nappy \r\nHer son will be proud to learn his father was valiant \r\nBut I bet he'll be upset when he learns he was a stallion \r\nMakes men out of boys, dogs, bananas and tadpoles \r\nStraddles fire hydrants and occasionally flagpoles \r\nTurns on when you abuse yourself \r\nIf you wanna get lucky introduce yourself \r\nAt the petting zoo she finds a lot more to do \r\nMore up and down movements than a kangaroo \r\nUnder rhinos and elephants, living or dead \r\nGave an ostrich a new place to bury his head \r\nFantasizing about the force of Yoda \r\nWhile sittin' on a two-liter bottle of soda \r\nSpreads her legs and kills people with the smell \r\nShe's a bona fide, certified, psycho slut from hell\r\n\r\nAfter years of abuse anything is gonna fit \r\nThe nappy dugout has turned into a bottomless pit \r\nOnce she's in place a crane can't move her \r\nShe rams like a truck and sucks like a Hoover \r\nGoin' at it strong since the age of nine \r\nNow she goes through men like an assembly line \r\nHomeboy's done and then, thank you, come again \r\nBack in ten minutes cause they're gonna have fun again \r\nMaine, California, everywhere between \r\nBeen nicknamed the All American Scream Machine \r\nThose with back and heart trouble shouldn't ride \r\nMake sure your lap bars are secured and tight \r\nShe's lookin' to get married to a guy who can thrill her \r\nYou know, someone who can rock like Godzilla  \r\nThis week's contestants have lined up behind her \r\nIf you're lookin' for the girl you just might find her \r\nOn Will, on Jack, on Dave, on Kevin \r\nOn Eric, on Joseph, maybe even on Steve \r\nOn Peter, on Scott, on John, on Tony \r\nOn Todd, on Ken, and would you believe \r\nOn Mark, on Jerry, on Jim, on Mike \r\nOn Jeff, on Larry with a dog in there with 'em \r\nOn Jack, on Marvin, on Allan, on Dan \r\nOn Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen","private":"0","comments":"<p>This song was remixed and remastered for Rhythms from the Crypt<\/p>","ralink":"psychoslutfromhell.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"367","title":"Pop Goes The Pimple (Remix)","artist":"2","file":"Pop_Goes_The_Pimple_remix.mp3","freemp3":"Pop_Goes_The_Pimple_remix.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 2\";}","parodyof":"\"Pop Goes The Weasel\" by 3rd Bass","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Pop goes the pop goes the oozin' of the pimple\r\nThe scar'll leave and artificial dimple\r\nYou got a face full of jelly like Smuckers\r\nI should have started PUSS, People Underminding Squeezin' Suckers\r\nSo we can make it known that you're a disgrace\r\nIt's '91, son, so do somethin' about your face\r\nSquirtin' glue out your face when goin' pop, pop pop\r\nPop goes the pimple has gotta stop, stop stop\r\nWhy not take your face by the section\r\nRip the skin off and kill your complexion\r\nI guess it's the fact that you really like pushin'\r\nWhat used to be a face is now a pin cushion\r\nI got a clean face it doesn't have to be picked at\r\nAnd I can tell you I got nothin' on my back\r\nSo to someone this may seem simple\r\nBut to someone else it's the invasion of the pimples, the pimples\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\nPop pop goes the pimple, the pimple\r\nPop pop goes the pimple, the pimple\r\nPop pop goes the pimple, the pimple\r\nPop goes the pimple 'cause the pimple goes pop (repeat)\r\n\r\nHead flesh, turned into a red mess\r\nThe second you squeezed it and I know it ain't painless\r\nBut don't rely on skill that makes it spill in the sink\r\nLet no one forget about the Clearasil\r\nNow in '91 we got a lot of brands that lend a hand\r\nClearin' up whatever they can\r\nAlthough the commercials are worse they won't leave any scars\r\nAnd you face won't look like the planet Mars\r\nWhy do we get zits in one place\r\nAppearin' in a structure that looks like a constellation\r\nThe Stridex gets put off until later\r\nThen boom you get a face full of craters\r\nHeed the warning when it spills you'd better clean it up\r\nIt splatterd so much to get it all you'll need a moop\r\nBlack and white heads together in the ripple\r\nIt's the pimple, it's the pimple, pop goes the pimple\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\n\r\nYou found another pimple then you squeezed it, you squeezed it\r\nIt splattered on the mirror then you squeezed it, you squeezed it\r\nFound one you couldn't pop and so you teased it, you teased it\r\nAnd now it hurts so bad that you appease it\r\nBustin' zits you got pus but not clearer\r\nAnd hit the four corners of the mirror\r\nEveryone from Germans, to kids named Herman\r\nDoin' crazy damage to your upper epidermis\r\nFrustrated so you wanna just gang bang\r\nYou ain't quick enough to catch up with the acne chain gang\r\nYou don't believe this, you got another huge cyst\r\nYou ever heard of a Dermatologist?\r\nA spelunker on your face could give tours\r\nHey do, Devo Spice, rip your face, pop some of your\r\nGo for your own, stay away from mine\r\nDon't eat so much chocolate and maybe you'll find\r\nWhen these go away you may not get so many more\r\nGet in the car I'm gonna take you to a drug store\r\nYou got pimples that spread like cancer\r\nMaybe plastic surgery is the answer\r\nBut burstin' is the fate that you've chosen\r\nBlowin' up like a nuclear explosion\r\nKeep squeezin' if you wanna be a cripple\r\nNo stoppin' 'cause pop goes the pimple\r\n\r\n[chorus]\r\n[chorus]","private":"0","comments":"<p>This is a parody that was begging to exist.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>This song was remixed and remastered for Rhythms from the Crypt<\/p>","ralink":"popgoesthepimple.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"368","title":"Rabid Chipmunks (Remix)","artist":"2","file":"Rabid_Chipmunks_remix.mp3","freemp3":"Rabid_Chipmunks_remix.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Dave: \"Are you ready, Sherman?\" \r\nSherman: \"Yeah, sure, Dave.\" \r\nDave: \"Are you ready, Bob?\" \r\nBob: \"Yeah, whatever, Dave.\" \r\nDave: \"Are you ready, Melvin?.... Melvin,... MELVIN!!!!\" \r\nMelvin: \"Shut up, Dave!\" \r\nDave: \"Melvin, we have a song to do!\" \r\nMelvin: \"Not now, Dave.\" \r\nDave: \"Yes, now, Melvin...\" \r\nMelvin: \"Don't make me kick your ass, Dave!\" \r\nDave: \"Melvin, get over here and do this song!\" \r\nMelvin: \"Now, anybody else want to do that song?\" \r\nProducers and engineers: \"Uhh, no, no, that's OK, \r\nit's a stupid song anyway.\"  \r\n\r\nComin' down from the tree, you know me \r\nI'm a rabid menace to society \r\nTake a nibble at your neck and put you in traction \r\nHad it up to here now it's time for some action \r\nFraction of the pain I'm inflictin' \r\nPuff on an acorn, so addictin' \r\nRun up your leg and bite impolitely \r\nAnd then you'll sound just like me \r\nReach for a forty-ounce, dive in take swim \r\nKilled him on a whim now the maggots are makin' him \r\nInto a sandwich, I'm just watchin'  \r\nJust stole Dave's car, an '84 Datsun \r\nComin' out hard, so hard, I'm a gangsta \r\nChipmunks never take no for an answer \r\nStep to me, and you know I'm-a sweat ya \r\nRun for your life, 'cause we're comin' to get ya \r\n[chorus] \r\nWhen the chipmunks come around better run son \r\n'Cause we reach for the gun and the job gets done \r\nTake no prisoners, shootin' up everyone \r\nHere come the chipmunks, better run, better run  \r\n\r\nGot two buck teeth that are sharp as a razor blade \r\nKill you with my singing, a hardcore serenade Christmas \r\nChristmas time is near \r\nTime for me to go get some more beer \r\nI shoot 'em up till his head looks like a sieve \r\nAnd I do pretty well in this Hell where I live \r\nCollected walnuts, get enough in there \r\nThat I'll be bustin' nuts all winter \r\nDo you understand where I'm goin' 'cause I've had it up to here \r\nSo I'm throwin' out this lame-brain career \r\nAnd now I'm doin' what I rightfully should \r\nShootin' up punks in this neck of the woods \r\nRabies is what I'm-a give you a case of \r\nIf you say I'm cute then I'll chew your face off \r\nIf you don't' think I'm rough, tough and spectacular \r\nYou better run now, 'cause I'm comin' after ya \r\n[chorus] \r\n \r\nTake a hit from the acorn, get me all blunted \r\nThree inches high 'cause my growth was stunted \r\nI try to talk tough but it just won't work  \r\n'Cause it's hard to sound tough when you talk like Urkel \r\nSo I don't try to talk when the punks start to walk \r\nIn my face pretty soon they're outlined with chalk \r\nAnd I walk away with my chipmunk pals  \r\nAnd we go to try and pick up some chipmunk gals \r\nLivin' like a rodent who done lost his mind \r\nAin't never gettin' stuck in some guy's behind \r\n'Cause I take control, and then I take your wallet \r\nAlready today I got three in my pocket \r\nRock it like I'm a heavy metal rock star \r\nMatchbox car souped up like a stock car \r\nAnd now there's no way you could ever stop me \r\nNow I'm comin' to get ya,you and your family \r\n[chorus]","private":"0","comments":"<p>This song was remixed and remastered for Rhythms from the Crypt<\/p>","ralink":"rabidchipmunks.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"369","title":"My Doctor's A Quack (2013)","artist":"2","file":"My_Doctors_A_Quack_2013.mp3","freemp3":"My_Doctors_A_Quack_2013.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"\"Baby Got Back\" by Sir Mix-A-Lot","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"16\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"16\";}","lyrics":"I feel sick and I just might die\r\nAnd I honestly don't know why\r\nBut when my doc walked in with a huge seringe\r\nAnd a big grin on his face I passed out\r\nWhich doctor is mine? Then I learned the witch doctor is mine\r\nWhat in God's name am I wearin'?\r\nMy butt's stickin' out of the rear end\r\nOh my God, I wanna go back home\r\nAnd go to the bathroom\r\nMy homeboys came to visit\r\nThe doc saw my cut and then he kissed it\r\nA termometer he pulled out\r\nBut he doesn't wanna put it in my mouth\r\nI said back up! Back up! \r\n'Cause you ain't gonna shove it in my butt\r\nI feel much better now\r\nTo Hell with my medicine\r\nMy bed, lead! \r\nHe's poking me all over my head\r\nThe food is made of slime\r\nAnd it really should be a crime\r\nTake the average dinner and eat this stuff\r\nIt comes right back up\r\nSo cooks (yeah) cooks (yeah)\r\nDoes it taste better coming back up (hell yeah)\r\nMy doctor said eat it (eat it) eat it (eat it)\r\nIt'll make you feel alright\r\nDoc is a quack!\r\nMy doctor's a quack!\r\n\r\nThe nurse was big and round\r\nShe took up the whole town\r\nI just couldn't help it when I saw her\r\nMy puke went flyin', without even tryin'\r\nShe knocked me down on the floor\r\nThen \"Clear (zap) clear (zap)\"\r\nI ain't takin' those pills\r\nThat's birth control, or couldn't you tell\r\nThe doctor came to test my reflex\r\nBut there's no reflex in\r\nThe middle of my chin\r\nHe hit me and my mouth caved in\r\nI'm lookin' at all the other docs\r\nReputations solid as a rock\r\nWhy can't my Doc be smart\r\nI'm stuck with Groucho Marx\r\nSomebody get me some help please call a paramedic\r\nMy doc's pathetic\r\n'Cause he wants to drill a hole in my head\r\nI'm gonna scream till the break of dawn\r\nWhat's my life worth?\r\nHe thinks I'm gonna give birth\r\nThis guy wants to search my body cavity\r\nI'd rather be impaled on a fence\r\nI'm restrained, I'm in pain\r\nAnd my underwear's got a big stain\r\n\"Does this hurt?\" yeah \"Does this hurt?\" yeah\r\nAs he keeps on pokin' my gizzard\r\nHe said open up, say ahhhh\r\nThen he shoved the little stick in my eye\r\nDoc is a quack!\r\nMy doctor's a quack!\r\n\r\nThey wheel me around in a gernie\r\nI feel like I'm in Weekend At Bernie's\r\nBut Bernie never had to go through all of this torture\r\nWhich cost a fortune\r\nAll I want is to get out alive\r\nHe grabbed me and told me to cough\r\nBut he enjoyed it a little too much\r\nSome people think I should try to sue him\r\n'Cause my future's lookin' real grim\r\nHe cut me and enjoyed it\r\nI didn't move fast enough to avoid it\r\nHe wants to cut open my brain\r\nHe thinks it'll stop the pain\r\nBut I know that's wrong and I just can't fight it\r\nIt's Appendicitis\r\nA garden hose he shoved in me\r\nThis ain't no I.V.\r\nHe said he gave me a sedative\r\nBut I think he gave me a laxative\r\nThis knucklehead's really a chump\r\nAnd now I gotta take a dump\r\nI'm not sick somebody tell him\r\nIf I live through this I'm gonna kill him\r\nThis guy's really gettin' on my nerves\r\nHis treatment is for the birds\r\nSo shove his medicine back in his face\r\nAnd get me out of this place\r\nDoc is a quack!\r\nMy doctor's a quack!","private":"0","comments":"<p>Not a true story, but who cares?<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>This song was re-recorded for Rhythms from the Crypt.<\/p>","ralink":"mydoctorsaquack.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"2\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"370","title":"The Psychic Enemies Network (Remix)","artist":"2","file":"The_Psychic_Enemies_Network_remix.mp3","freemp3":"The_Psychic_Enemies_Network_remix.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Thank you for your money and I thank you for your call \r\nNow let me gaze deep into my crystal ball \r\nAnd see what the future has in store for you \r\nI gotta concentrate to clearly let the message come through \r\nIt says you'll win the lottery but lose the ticket \r\nWhen your house catches fire and your dog dies in it \r\nThen again I could be wrong but I never have before \r\nPush one now if you want to hear more \r\nLet's see, someone will throw up in your car \r\nBut don't worry 'cause your car will blow up at the mall \r\nAnd kill everyone in the area \r\nAnd the top of your head'll get a little less hairier \r\nSo give up, take a bath, go to bed \r\nIf you're lucky tomorrow you might wake up dead \r\nIf not, hey what more can I say \r\nYou're outta luck, your life sucks, thanks for callin' have a nice day.  \r\n\r\nLove, sex, your future looks bleak \r\nYour son will be born as a two headed freak \r\nAnd then sometime next week, your wife is gonna die \r\nWhen she tries to make love to a banana cream pie \r\nBut don't feel bad 'cause you'll fall in love again \r\nTo a beautiful woman with a golden brown tan \r\nRomance blossoms like a rose it's a thriller \r\nBut her ex-boyfriend will act like a weed killer \r\nWhen he pummels your face into the ground so hard \r\nThat you become permanently part of the front yard \r\nWhere there a lawn mower mangles your face \r\nAnd scatters your remains all over the place \r\nYour life means nothing, you're a loser, you're a bore \r\nSo don't bother me with your troubles no more \r\nYou'll be lucky if you live past half-past eight \r\nYou're outta luck, your life sucks, thanks for callin', have a nice day.  \r\n\r\nYou again? Alright, last time \r\nYou don't have to be psychic to read your mind \r\nI know about you and your kind it's a crime \r\nYou got a little extra money and a lot of spare time \r\nYou will be greeted by a tall dark man \r\nWith a skull for a face and a sickle in his hand \r\nThe good news, you won't have to worry about germs  \r\nBad news, now you're lunch for maggots and worms \r\nBut before you bite it, you might wanna know \r\nThat a tumor in your brain is beginning to grow \r\nBut I wouldn't worry about that I would watch where I walk \r\n'Cause you're gonna get hit by a truck \r\nPersonally I'll be glad when you're gone \r\nAnd I hope that you're scattered over my front lawn \r\nAnd tomorrow will be even worse than today \r\nYou're outta luck, your life sucks, thanks for callin' have a nice day.","private":"0","comments":"<p>This song was remixed and remastered for Rhythms from the Crypt<\/p>","ralink":"thepsychicenemiesnetwork.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"371","title":"Dead Rubber Chickens (Remix)","artist":"2","file":"Dead_Rubber_Chickens_remix.mp3","freemp3":"Dead_Rubber_Chickens_remix.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 38\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"Are you ready for the terror of a lifetime\r\nLock all your windows, stay in the house at night time\r\nComin' to your home from the sewers\r\nThey came from outter space and they're bouncing to a town near yours\r\nThis is the attack of the chickens\r\nThey've been here for years, but we didn't know we were with 'em\r\nMaybe now they might just understand\r\nThat the chickens are the cause of the problems in this glorious land\r\nDiscovered by a doctor in Brazil\r\nThey might make you sick or they might just kill\r\nSo face it, it's true\r\nAs reported by the National Enquirer direct to you\r\n\r\nIt's the attack of the dead rubber chickens\r\nYou can't get rid of 'em you can't live with 'em\r\nBlame everything on the dead rubber chickens\r\n'Cause this time it's them who'll do the finger lickin'\r\n\r\nTry not to acknowledge that you know\r\n'Cause if they find out they'll peck out your eyes real slow\r\nBe happy that the chickens never flew\r\n'Cause as it is now they're tryin' to take over the home of Frank Purdue\r\nTake a look around you won't see 'em\r\nBut the next time your car breaks down you can blame 'em, \r\nknow what I mean\r\nThe White House keeps 'em on as a guide\r\n'Cause they think that if they step outta line \r\nthey'll just make Kentucky Fried\r\nBut the truth couldn't be so bent\r\n'Cause the chickens now control this nation's government\r\nThey're monsters, they're dead\r\nIf you see 'em don't get too close they'll peck off your head\r\n\r\nIt's the attack of the dead rubber chickens\r\nEveryday they grow stronger and the rubber plot thickens\r\nBlame everything on the dead rubber chickens\r\nThey'll stick to your family like a booger you've been flickin'\r\n\r\nThe chickens are controlling Mr. Rogers\r\nAnd they're forming their own baseball team called the Tobasco Dodgers\r\nKing of sell-out rap and rock\r\nThey're the masterminds behind the sucess of the \r\nNew Kids On The Block\r\nThat's an example of their power\r\nThey're small and yellow, but they make the powerful cower\r\nThe day of the chickens has come\r\nAnd it's time we faught 'em instead of runnin' around like bums\r\nGet 'em now because more are coming\r\nMaybe we can turn 'em into condoms or something\r\nThis is it, their pen\r\nThe National Enquirer says that they're coming back again\r\n\r\nThe attack of the dead rubber chickens\r\nThey clog your toilet and blow up your kitchen\r\nBlame everything on the dead rubber chickens\r\nServe 'em on a platter with all the fixens","private":"0","comments":"<p>Don't ask, it just happened.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>This song was remixed and remastered for Rhythms from the Crypt<\/p>","ralink":"deadrubberchickens.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:2:\" 5\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"372","title":"Masturbate (Remix)","artist":"2","file":"Masturbate_remix.mp3","freemp3":"Masturbate_remix.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 18\";}","parodyof":"\"Regulate\" by Warren G. and Nate Dogg","backgroundcredit":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";i:1;s:3:\" 22\";}","guests":"a:2:{i:0;s:2:\"18\";i:1;s:3:\" 22\";}","lyrics":"Masturbators \r\nWe'll masturbate with anything we can get our hands on \r\nFrom Victoria's Secret Catalogs to Archie Comics \r\nWe're damn good, too  \r\nBut you can't be any Jack off the street \r\nYou gotta be handy with the candy if you know what I mean \r\nMasturbators! \r\nJack up!  \r\n\r\nIt was a beautiful night, under the stars \r\nWalking hand in hand, away from all the cars  \r\nWe came to a tree and sat down in the grass \r\nI put my hand on her knee, I tried to make a pass \r\nJust went to the movies with the girl of my dreams \r\nBulging out of my pants nearly breaking the seams \r\nPut my arm around the girl then she wrecked my pride  \r\nWhen she jammed her elbow really hard in my side\r\nSittin' under the tree she put her arm around me \r\nThen she grabbed me and repeatedly bashed me into the tree \r\nThe girl ran away, I sat there and moaned \r\nShe stole my car so I'm-a have to walk home \r\nShe didn't watch the movie she just walked away \r\nI guess she didn't care since she didn't have to pay \r\nBut I'm not gonna let this ruin my date \r\nBut then the girl came back and threw her soda in my face\r\nThis ain't my day, I guess I'm outta luck \r\nI still can't believe that I messed this up \r\nI passed a movie theater not feeling too well \r\nI looked at the marquis and said what the hell \r\nI saw my homie Devo Spice walking into the film \r\nI waved him over and he sat where the soda spilled \r\nHe didn't seem to care that his butt was wet \r\n'Cause that's the only satisfaction he was going to get\r\nI got pressure in my head, other parts are turning blue \r\nI'm sittin' next to Stain wondering what to do \r\nI left the movie theater decided just to roam \r\nI wandered for a while then I found my way home \r\nSpice got up and left so I left too  \r\nI'm still horny so I know what I have to do  \r\nWe both went out and we both blew our dates \r\nSo Stain and Devo Spice had to masturbate\r\n\r\nSittin' in my bedroom with some Vaseline \r\nAnd the girl of my dreams in a magazine \r\nSince I wasn't with a real girl and I was annoyed \r\nI began to shake hands with the unemployed\r\nNow Stain is a bum and that's a known fact \r\nBut I'm not known for resortin' to a jack \r\nJust  once just once just this time\r\nWith Miss September and me, in a knuckle bind \r\nThe very next night I was lookin' for some fun \r\nSo I called every girl I knew \r\nMost of them just began to laugh \r\nAnd a couple of them even spewed \r\nSo I paced back and forth I just couldn't believe \r\nI said ooh not again  \r\nSo when  a girl scout came to sell cookies I asked her \r\nWould you like to yank my chain \r\nI got Victoria's Secret in the house with us \r\nThe next step is the Jerkit Circus\r\n\r\nI'm tweaking  on a whole new level \r\nBut I gotta admit I'm happier than ever \r\nI can do any girl no hesitation or trouble \r\nKelly Bundy, Cindy Crawford, maybe even Betty Rubble\r\nWhips, chains, magazines, Vaseline,\r\nG-strings, where you don't need a wife and you don't need a condom \r\nIf you do like I do \r\nYou know that it'll blow your mind \r\nBut if you do it too often \r\nBe careful 'cause you might go blind \r\nIf you try real hard \r\nThen you might just get a date \r\nBut if your ass is ugly \r\nThen you're gonna have to masturbate","private":"0","comments":"<p>This song was remixed and remastered for Rhythms from the Crypt<\/p>","ralink":"masturbate.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:2:{i:0;s:1:\"4\";i:1;s:2:\" 5\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"373","title":"Rhyme Master (Remix)","artist":"2","file":"Rhyme_Master_remix.mp3","freemp3":"Rhyme_Master_remix.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:0:\"\";}","lyrics":"We started, fell apart, then we started it again\r\n'Cause my heart was still alive so I strived to comprehend\r\nWhy the songs seemed to die, before long the dream complied\r\nSo I tried and I chose, and I rose like the tide\r\nLong days and nights I put up a strong fight\r\nSecond sight all along made the song come out right\r\nI varied my style, being wild was my game\r\nMy songs never sound the same, always by the clever name\r\nWho's got the juice to try to fit inside my shoes?\r\nWho are you to spit the shit about the kid who's on the loose?\r\nGo ahead, what I said is that the rest are all dead\r\nWho's the best? Screw the rest, off my chest and in my head\r\nStrange, I'll never change, I'm irreversibly deranged\r\nIn the place the pace races in the bass cleff range\r\nEvery night the rhymes I write cause a lightning bolt disaster\r\nThat's the fight of being titled as a funky rhyme master\r\n\r\nFrom the Dead Town I said I get ahead with my sound\r\nIt's red, are you blind or just stupid as a clown\r\nBe warned I act calm, but like a bomb or a storm\r\nI destroy all their toys so the suckers can't form\r\nIf you tore me out before I hit it big with the hook\r\nThen you're chum I won't become, I'm not as dumb as I look\r\nBut I will still chill with the skill that's gonna kill\r\nAnd I build my own guild by givin' people a thrill\r\nStop where you are because my car'll plow you over\r\nNever stuck because my luck is like a four-leaf clover\r\nAddicted to the habit of the rhyme I gotta have it\r\nDon't grab it 'cause you can't have it back, silly rabbit\r\nEverybody's loud in the crowd at the jam\r\nPeople bowed all around because I'm proud of who I am\r\nThe next verse will be terse, but said a little faster\r\nI kick a little quick 'cause I'm a funky rhyme master\r\n\r\nKick the mechanics of rhythm so I always had people\r\nsmilin' before they came in\r\nThe idiot thought he could kick it with me\r\nbut I told him back off, 'cause he couldn't win\r\nRappin' like this is a talent I have that I\r\nuse for the pleasure of all of my friends\r\nThe posse is large I'm the one that's in charge\r\nand I keep the place jumpin' on through to the end\r\nNo one's exactly like me so I do what I do like it is\r\n'cause I am who I am\r\nImitate me and they laugh at the punk and they\r\nkick him off stage at the musical jam\r\nSuckers who try to keep me off the records all\r\nthink that I am such a musical bastard\r\nThink what you want, I know what I am\r\nI'm funkier now, I'm a lyrical master\r\n\r\nSo did you like what I did with the mic? Now I'm psyched\r\nTore the lid off the kid who denied it that he liked\r\nHow I stole the show, with my magical control\r\nOf the room with my sonic bass boom in my soul\r\nBass is the case that controls the rat race\r\nOf the industry that makes us deface the whole place\r\nLike a monster on the prowl the bassline is gonna growl\r\nPeople howl like an owl, I'll never throw in the towel\r\nWhat's the magic word, now it's totally absurd\r\nA nut didn't like my cut so he flipped me the bird\r\nIf you missed how I dissed the sucker let me just say\r\nThat he remained in pain for the remainder of the day\r\nNow I'm on top I won't stop till I drop\r\nBut I have to 'cause I'm after this dude who called the cops\r\nAnd when I catch him, you betcha that his face is mince meat\r\n'Cause the dude was so rude to try to stop the beat\r\nChillin' on a roll I fly right through the toll\r\nI stole your soul with my lyrical control\r\nSo if you don't wish to end up like a stiff\r\nKeep a stiff upper lip and then skip the riff\r\nBig shot is what you gotta think you are\r\nFace the facts you're just wack you're never gonna go far\r\nYou're gonna lose 'cause you choose to take a cruise for a bruise\r\nAnd you refuse to pay respect so you're gonna pay your dues\r\nTrust me, you're busted, you're rotten through and rusted\r\nYou're loud, you act proud, and the crowd'll leave you dusted\r\nIt's people like you that give the biz a bad name\r\nYou think you're cool when you make your own rules to the game\r\nDevo Spice rocks the mic, cold as ice, every night\r\nSudden Death backs me up so I cut it up right\r\nMy bassline attacks and always cracks the plaster\r\nWhat else can I say? I'm a funky rhyme master","private":"0","comments":"<p>Performed at my senior prom, May '91.  No reason.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>This song was remixed and remastered for Rhythms from the Crypt<\/p>","ralink":"rhymemaster.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"374","title":"The Mouth (Extended Mix)","artist":"2","file":"The_Mouth_extended.mp3","freemp3":"The_Mouth_extended.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","musiccredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","vocalscredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"1\";}","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"28\";}","guests":"a:1:{i:0;s:2:\"28\";}","lyrics":"Sittin' at home doin' nothing in particular\r\nWatchin' TV legs crossed perpendicular\r\nTryin' real hard to retain my sanity\r\nWhen in walks the reason I gave up on humanity\r\nFive foot eight with a wimpy goatee\r\nBrown hair, brown eyes, and a couple brown teeth\r\nHis voice has a pitch that could bust a glass\r\nGot a mouth like a river and it's just as fast\r\nLivin' with this guy has really been the pits\r\nHis mouth is so big that his nose barely fits\r\nAin't no peace and quiet it's a riot with this creep\r\n","private":"0","comments":"<p>This song is about an annoying roommate who is actually the combination of 2 of my ex roommates.  I had one guy, who we actually nicknamed The Mouth, who ate everything in site, and another who would talk for hours about nothing.  Most of this song is true, including the part about his wife.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>This song was remixed and remastered for Rhythms from the Crypt and an additional previously-unused Mr. Zipp rant was added.<\/p>","ralink":"themouth.ram","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"0000-00-00","albums":"a:1:{i:0;s:1:\"6\";}","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"1","newsong":"0","archived":"1","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"32","cover":"rhythms-from-the-crypt.jpg","url":"rythms-from-the-crypt"},{"id":"375","title":"Ian Is Made of Beans","artist":"1","file":"Ian_Is_Made_of_Beans.mp3","freemp3":"Ian_Is_Made_of_Beans.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>Hoo, boy! It's Lunchtime! Time for my favorite food!<br>\r\nGo into the cupboard and- WHAT THE?!<br>\r\nWhere's all my cans of, uh- INSANE IAN?!<br>\r\nYOU'RE EATIN' ALL MY BEANS!!!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Verse 1:<br>\r\nIan\u2019s here eatin\u2019 a treat that lets the gas out<br>\r\nBein\u2019 here sittin\u2019 so near might make me pass out<br>\r\nBitten off more than he can chew, what\u2019s he gonna do?<br>\r\nStarin\u2019 you down, he ain\u2019t sharing it with none of you<br>\r\nBeans, [pbbt!] the musical fruit, [Yep!] no that ain\u2019t right [What?!]<br>\r\nThey\u2019re a legume that plays a tune with no restraint, quite<br>\r\nMad, the effect that they had on his digestion<br>\r\nQuestion, think the air is ever gonna freshen? [Nope!]<br>\r\nBut it\u2019s an interesting biologic quandary<br>\r\nIngesting and digesting build the metabolic foundry  <br>\r\nWhat that means is that you are what you eat<br>\r\nSo it seems that Ian is made of beans<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Chorus:<br>\r\nYeah buddy you know I like beans!<br>\r\nAnd Ian is made of beans!<br>\r\nThat must mean I like Ian too!<br>\r\nWith a Cheddar Bay Biscuit!<br>\r\nYeah buddy you know I like beans!<br>\r\nAnd Ian is made of beans!<br>\r\nThat must mean I like Ian too! Oh yeah!<br>\r\nInsane Ian, eat 'em up, yum!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Verse 2:<br>\r\nThe table seems unable to tame him like Gonzo<br>\r\nThe legendary fables will name him Garbonzo!<br>\r\nBreathin\u2019 in the air instead of leavin\u2019 made me gag there<br>\r\nSome people believe he will become a bean bag chair [p'HA!]<br>\r\nOr maybe just a life-sized beanie baby<br>\r\nSeemingly he\u2019ll be eatin\u2019 beans \u2018til he\u2019s nearly eighty<br>\r\nAnd he\u2019ll forever be set, he\u2019s never better<br>\r\n\u2018Cause he stockpiles better than a doomsday prepper [Waffles!]<br>\r\nMeanwhile I\u2019ll be hunting misinformation<br>\r\nOf which life choices led to this situation [Mutation!]<br>\r\nHe should eat some more greens or he won\u2019t fit in his<br>\r\nJeans, \u2018cause Ian is made of beans!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Chorus:<br>\r\nYeah buddy you know I like beans!<br>\r\nAnd Ian is made of beans!<br>\r\nThat must mean I like Ian too!<br>\r\nWith no pants on! Hu-Ha!<br>\r\nYeah buddy you know I like peaches!<br>\r\nBut Ian\u2019s not made of peaches!<br>\r\nThat was a song by The Presidents Of The United States Of America.<br>\r\nAnd Ian likes those guys. A lot. He did a tribute album to 'em. <br>\r\nHe puts out a new tribute album like every week. <br>\r\nBut no BRAK tribute album! He better get on that! <br>\r\nAnd he better do a cover of my most famous song\u2026 <br>\r\n...\"I'm A Cucumber!\"... Buddy!\r\n<\/p>\t","private":"0","comments":"<p>In early 2024 Insane Ian came on The FuMPCast to plug the Logan Awards. He explained that when nominating songs you have to submit five entries, and if you don't have five entries just put a placeholder in for the others and he would figure it out. As a suggestion he said to write \"Ian is made of beans.\" We then discussed which of us was going to write that song. I suspect many FuMPCast listeners will write their own song with this title. This is my entry.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2025-02-15","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"1","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"ian-is-made-of-beans-song-art-600.jpg","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"376","title":"Santa","artist":"1","file":"Santa.mp3","freemp3":"Santa.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"Stan by Eminem","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p><\/p><p>Suggested by Scott Morgan<br>\r\n* Suggested by Steven Shilling<br>\r\n** Suggested by Roberta Maher<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>\r\n[chorus]<br>\r\nIt's Christmas day I'm wonderin' why<br>\r\nI got out of bed at all<br>\r\nThe morning came, I looked for presents<br>\r\nBut I got none at all<br>\r\nThere's nothing jolly in my house today<br>\r\nBut the star atop my tree<br>\r\nIt reminds me that it's all 'bout me<br>\r\nIt's all about me<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[v1]<br>\r\nDear Santa, this is Devo Spice, and I'm proud to say<br>\r\nI didn't think I could afford it but I found a way<br>\r\nI finally moved out of my parents' house, away I went<br>\r\nI'm so grateful to them, though, because they pay my rent<br>\r\nSometimes I feel like I'm the luckiest nerd alive<br>\r\nA lot of people live at home until they're thirty-five<br>\r\nSo I'm just writing so I can give you my new address<br>\r\nAlong with a short list of presents that I want too, I guess<br>\r\nLike a Switch 2 with that Donkey Kong game would be nice<br>\r\nAnd the Assblaster 5000 Personal Massage Device<br>\r\nI sure hope you can bring me what's on my wish list and<br>\r\nI'll be sure to leave out some milk and cookies, Merry Christmas, man<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[v2]<br>\r\nDear Santa, why didn't you come? I don't understand at all<br>\r\nI wrote you a letter, I even went to see you at the mall<br>\r\nThe milk and cookies went untouched, now they're stale and sour<br>\r\nI sat and stared at the empty space under my tree for an hour<br>\r\nI'm not mad, just disappointed at what you did<br>\r\n'Cause you always came through for me every year when I was a kid<br>\r\nI wanted the first Christmas at my new place to be special<br>\r\nMy mom says I'm special, even my school said I'm special<br>\r\nSo write me back, and please explain because I'm so upset<br>\r\nAnd hurry up before I do something that you'll regret<br>\r\nAnd I know that that may land me on the naughty list for next year<br>\r\nBut I really need to understand just what's been happening here<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[v3]<br>\r\nDear Mr. I'm Too Fat to Fit Down Your Chimney Hole<br>\r\nAre you spending all your time watching Mrs. Claus dance on the North Pole?*<br>\r\nAnd you're too busy to write me a simple letter?<br>\r\nWell I just drank a whole gallon of egg nog and I've never felt better<br>\r\nI should write you off forever but I'm hesitant to<br>\r\nBut right now I'd rather shove the tree up my ass than get a present from you**<br>\r\nScrew it, I'm-a do it, we're done, this is the end<br>\r\nDon't worry about me 'cause you'll never hear from me again<br>\r\nI'm-a switch to Judaism so I get gifts for eight nights<br>\r\nI hope you get a splinter in your ass while you're up at great heights<br>\r\nI know you're laughing at me but I'm telling you this isn't funny<br>\r\nExcuse me now I have to write a letter to the Easter Bunny<br>\r\n(chorus)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[v4]<br>\r\nHo ho ho...<br>\r\nDear Devo, I brought you a Switch, a game, and a new phone case<br>\r\nBut I thought you were joking when you said you got your own place<br>\r\nI left the gifts with your parents in a little pile<br>\r\nMaybe you'd know that if you called them every once in a while<br>\r\nI'm sorry that I didn't write sooner but you know<br>\r\nThings are busy up here, Vixen says hello<br>\r\nGoing forward maybe you should get your gifts from Amazon Prime<br>\r\nGood luck with the Judaism, l'chaim<\/p><p><\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>This song was suggested by Scott Morgan who said \"How about a parody of Eminem\u2019s Stan, writing to Santa?\" My first inclination was to reject it because this is a good idea, not a ridiculous idea, but I kept coming back to it. Then I googled to see if anyone else had already done it and yes, several had, including SNL. So I rejected it again. But I couldn't get it out of my head. Eventually I said screw it and just started writing.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I got a few other suggestions for songs that I didn't make into full songs but I did use as individual lines in this song. Those were from Steven Shilling and Roberta Maher and are called out in the lyrics.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2025-11-23","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"33","cover":"ridiculous-christmas-ep-front.png","url":"the-ridiculous-christmas-ep"},{"id":"380","title":"Halls of Dementia","artist":"1","file":"Halls_of_Dementia.mp3","freemp3":"Halls_of_Dementia.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"Halls of Illusion by Insane Clown Posse","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>[verse 1]<br>\r\n[Devo:] Tickets?  Nah, just wind up your radio<br>\r\nInto the Halls of Dementia, away we go!<br>\r\nTo see uncharted parts where I started to go wrong<br>\r\nIt all started with my mother singing this song<br>\r\n(sample: I want a hippopotamus for Christmas<br>\r\nOnly a hippopotamus will do)<br>\r\nWe just didn\u2019t believe the song existed<br>\r\nShe got pissed at this and she insisted<br>\r\nOf course she was right, she found it and then<br>\r\nWe never doubted anything my mother said again<br>\r\nThat tape made me want all I could get<br>\r\nSo that Christmas we got the whole set<br>\r\n[Luke:] It\u2019s Dr. Demento\u2019s greatest novelty records<br>\r\nA limited edition broken down by the decades<br>\r\nWith a poster and an autograph, they\u2019re numbered and signed<br>\r\nAnd features songs from the world\u2019s most demented minds<br>\r\nAllan Sherman, Tom Lehrer, Weird Al Yankovic and<br>\r\nStan Freberg, Julie Brown, Spike Jones and his band<br>\r\nIt\u2019s more than a collection, it\u2019s a dream come true<br>\r\n(Spike Jones sample)...and it\u2019s all for you!<br>\r\n[Devo:] Back on the radio I couldn\u2019t hear the show<br>\r\nSo we joined the fan club of Dr. Demento<br>\r\nAnd in the newsletter I saw on page two<br>\r\nWas an ad that said \u201cThe Funny Five Wants You!\u201d<br>\r\nI sent him some songs, and he wrote back!<br>\r\nIt took a couple years before he played a track<br>\r\nBut in 1990 \u201cI\u2019m Bored\u201d hit the show <br>\r\n(\u201cI\u2019m Bored\u201d sample)...at the hands of Demento<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus 1]<br>\r\nGreat Demento play my song<br>\r\nIt\u2019s only nineteen minutes long<br>\r\nThis is all because of you<br>\r\nThat would be a dream come true<br>\r\nGreat Demento play my song<br>\r\nThe Funny Five\u2019s where I belong<br>\r\nThis is all because of you<br>\r\nThank you for all that you do!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[Devo:] What came next?  I became obsessed<br>\r\nAt comedy rap I wanted to be the best<br>\r\nI sent in more songs and got played a bit<br>\r\nAnd later in \u201898 my first number one hit<br>\r\n(sample: South Park!  South South Park!<br>\r\nSouth Park!  South South Park!...Kick Ass)<br>\r\nAnd at the end of the year it was number four<br>\r\nI partied so much I left stains on the floor<br>\r\nDr. D introduced me to Luke Ski<br>\r\nHe does funny rap just like you, see?<br>\r\nHe was a jerk and we didn\u2019t get along<br>\r\nNo I\u2019m kidding, we teamed up for a song<br>\r\n[Luke:] What do we have here?  A Spider Man flick?<br>\r\nAnd a Run-DMC song from 1986?<br>\r\nWell that\u2019s a parody that\u2019s just beggin\u2019 to happen<br>\r\nI\u2019ll tap Devo Spice for his awesome rappin\u2019<br>\r\n\u201cPeter Parker\u201d had some incredible rhymes<br>\r\nAnd it made it on the weekly Funny Five seven times<br>\r\nAnd in 2002 when the year was done<br>\r\n(\u201cPeter Parker\u201d sample)...it was number one!<br>\r\n[Devo:] That was the beginning of an awesome run<br>\r\nAnd in 2005 \u201cInner Voice\u201d was number one<br>\r\nThen The FuMP debuted in \u201807<br>\r\nAnd I\u2019ve had more hits since then than ever<br>\r\n\u201cCellular Degeneration,\u201d \u201cGetting Old Sucks\u201d<br>\r\n\u201cOzzman,\u201d \u201cAutocomplete,\u201d \u201cIn the 80s\u201d<br>\r\n\u201cYo! Sam,\u201d \u201cSpider Verses,\u201d \u201cWAPC\u201d man I\u2019ve<br>\r\nHad 18 songs on the Funny 25!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus 2]<br>\r\nGreat Demento play my song<br>\r\nThough the singing came out wrong<br>\r\nThis is all because of you<br>\r\nLook what you got me into<br>\r\nGreat Demento play my song<br>\r\n\u201cMy Atari\u201d sampled Pong<br>\r\nThis is all because of you<br>\r\nThank you for all that you do!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[Devo:] Ah, it\u2019s time to hang up the old top hat now<br>\r\nWhile I\u2019m sad that it\u2019s ending, I gotta say wow<br>\r\nI\u2019m glad I was on your show and proud to have met ya<br>\r\nThank you for 55 years of Dementia!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>[chorus 3]<br>\r\nGreat Demento play my song<br>\r\nI wrote this one about my schlong<br>\r\nThis is all because of you<br>\r\nLook at what you made me do<br>\r\nGreat Demento play my song<br>\r\nWith my impression of Tommy Chong<br>\r\nThis is all because of you<br>\r\nThank you for all that you do!<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>I had this idea when the original song first came out, but it seemed too niche and self-serving at the time, so I never did it.  Fast forward 30 years and when The FuMP was putting together the Dr. Demento Tribute Album <a href=\"https:\/\/thefump.com\/store\/release\/307\" target=\"_blank\">Under the Smogberry Trees<\/a> that seemed like a good reason to finally do this song.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2025-08-12","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"1","demento":"1","newsong":"1","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":null,"cover":null,"url":null},{"id":"377","title":"The Christmas Caper","artist":"1","file":"The_Christmas_Caper.mp3","freemp3":"The_Christmas_Caper.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>(intro)<br>\r\nLuke: OK, everyone, back to work.  Come on, I don\u2019t pay you to stand around and drink coffee.  <br>\r\nShoebox: Ah, my dream job.<br>\r\nIan: Hey, it beats retail.<br>\r\nLuke: Oh hey Devo, I\u2019m going to need you to go ahead and come in on Christmas Eve to finish up the TPS report.  If you could be here around 9 that would be great.  OK?  Thanks<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(verse 1)<br>\r\nYeah...no,<br>\r\nThis whole workin\u2019 for a livin\u2019 thing\u2019s a pain in my rear<br>\r\nBut I hear that there\u2019s a job you work one day a year<br>\r\nSo I wonder, how can I appear as St. Nick and<br>\r\nLet the elves do the work, that\u2019s a neat trick<br>\r\nI\u2019ll get a beard and a suit, and I\u2019ll travel the world<br>\r\nBringing toys and other loot to good boys and girls<br>\r\nAll the cookies I can eat, reindeer who take flight<br>\r\nAnd besides, Mrs. Claus is a babe, am I right?<br>\r\nSo kiss my behind all you HR jerks<br>\r\nI\u2019m familiar with The Santa Clause, I know how this works<br>\r\nI can\u2019t stop until the jobs mine, only flaws in<br>\r\nMy plan is... how do you kill Santa Claus?<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(chorus)<br>\r\nUp on the rooftop, what you gonna see?<br>\r\nA fat man in red, hey man that\u2019s me!<br>\r\nSo make with the cookies and the milk and the beer<br>\r\nAnd I\u2019ll be the one who\u2019s bringing all your holiday cheer (repeat?)<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(verse 2)<br>\r\nSo tell me how\u2019m I gonna make Santa Claus go poof?<br>\r\nI suppose I can\u2019t wait for him to fall off the roof<br>\r\nI could carve a wooden stake from an evergreen tree<br>\r\nAnd jab it through his heart, nah, that\u2019s too messy for me<br>\r\nMaybe I could poison all the cookies, oh but first<br>\r\nI should look into this book\u2019s ancient Aztec curse<br>\r\nOr build a fancy trap that will snap at his bones<br>\r\nMaybe spikes in the fireplace like Indiana Jones<br>\r\n...I\u2019m overthinkin\u2019 it, simpler is better<br>\r\nAnd I don\u2019t want him leaving blood stains on my sweater<br>\r\nIf I want him dead, I know what it\u2019ll take<br>\r\nI\u2019ll just hit him in the head with last year\u2019s fruitcake<br>\r\n[chorus]<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(spoken)<br>\r\nI hear him!  He\u2019s coming.  OK, let\u2019s do this...  What?<br>\r\nSanta: Ho! Ho! Ho! Motherfu...<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(verse 3)<br>\r\nDid it work?  I think so...<br>\r\nI see the North Pole, reindeer, and snow!<br>\r\n...Did I really get the gig?<br>\r\n...But why is everything so big?<br>\r\nI\u2019m here in my pajamas with the reds and the blues<br>\r\nMy voice is really high and I\u2019ve got bells on my shoes<br>\r\n...Dear God, what have I done to myself?<br>\r\n...I\u2019ve become an elf!  No!<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(end chorus)<br>\r\nUp on the rooftop reindeer pause<br>\r\nThere\u2019s that same old Santa Claus<br>\r\nWe didn\u2019t turn into him ourselves<br>\r\nStuck for eternity as Santa\u2019s elves<br>\r\nHo ho ho, this really blows<br>\r\nHo ho ho, this really blows<br>\r\nUp at the North Pole, trapped now I\u2019m<br>\r\nMaking the toys \u2018til the end of time<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Santa: Ho Ho Ho-K, everyone, back to work!  Your three minute break is over!  You\u2019ll get another one on Tuesday.  C\u2019mon, you\u2019ve got toys to make.  And I\u2019ve got a date with Mrs. Claus...and that new sex swing that just came in from Japan.  Ho ho ho, who are you going to complain to?  There\u2019s no union at the North Pole.  ...What human resources?  You\u2019re not human!<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>This was another song suggested by fans.  In fact, two fans had very similar (and disturbing) ideas, so I gave them both credit.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Tony Goldmark:<\/strong> \u201cA rap song about staying up all night to wait for Tim Allen so you can push him off the roof and seize power.\u201d<br>\r\n<strong>Grice A Roni (Dizman from Dead by 28)<\/strong>: \u201cWaiting for Santa on Xmas Eve so you can kill him and become Santa.\u201d<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2025-12-04","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"33","cover":"ridiculous-christmas-ep-front.png","url":"the-ridiculous-christmas-ep"},{"id":"378","title":"I Got a Hippopotamus for Christmas","artist":"1","file":"I_Got_a_Hippopotamus_for_Christmas.mp3","freemp3":"I_Got_a_Hippopotamus_for_Christmas.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>I wanted a hippopotamus as a gift<br>\r\nI know it\u2019s a lot of fuss<br>\r\nOr not, just go to the zoo, set one of them<br>\r\nFree and then put it on a bus<br>\r\nSee? It isn\u2019t that hard, just bring it <br>\r\nTo me, it can live in my yard, <br>\r\nWe will deal with the HOA<br>\r\nYou don\u2019t even have to send me a card<br>\r\nChristmas morning I am awakened<br>\r\nViolently when my house started shakin\u2019<br>\r\nNothing to see, just piles of debris<br>\r\nSurrounded by sounds of everything breakin\u2019<br>\r\nI rushed to see that it\u2019s<br>\r\nA hippopotamus in my kitchen<br>\r\nAnd now I\u2019m wonderin\u2019 which of you did this<br>\r\nBut, all I can say is \u201cbitchin\u2019!\u201d<br>\r\nI never thought I would get it<br>\r\nBut now I just want to go up and pet it<br>\r\nI\u2019ve never seen a creature that large<br>\r\nBut it looked at me and decided to charge<br>\r\nAnd I ran...I think this was a bad idea.  I appreciate it, whoever got this for me, but um, could somebody call 911 please!  Oh my god, what have I done?! <\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>This was part of the batch of ridiculous Christmas song suggestions I got in late 2025 which I turned into The Ridiculous Christmas EP.  This one was suggested by the great Luke Ski.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Luke Ski:<\/strong> A song about actually getting a real live hippopotamus for Christmas and how said gift would affect your quality of life going forward.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2025-12-01","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"33","cover":"ridiculous-christmas-ep-front.png","url":"the-ridiculous-christmas-ep"},{"id":"379","title":"The Reason for the Season","artist":"1","file":"The_Reason_for_the_Season.mp3","freemp3":"The_Reason_for_the_Season.mp3","mp3price":"0.99","lyricscredit":"","musiccredit":"","vocalscredit":"","parodyof":"","backgroundcredit":"","guests":"","lyrics":"<p>(v1)<br>\r\nIn the hustle and the bustle of the holiday cheer<br>\r\nAs you eat another treat that goes right to your rear<br>\r\nIt\u2019s easy to forget the true reason for the season<br>\r\nSo I\u2019m here with a theory you can squeeze in, you see<br>\r\nThe obliquity of the ecliptic, epsilon<br>\r\nRepresents the angle that the planet always sits along<br>\r\nDoesn\u2019t matter where along the orbit the earth is<br>\r\nIt always tracks at the same angle due to axial parallelism <br>\r\n23 degrees is maintained between the positive<br>\r\nPole and the normal to the orbital plane<br>\r\nResulting in diurnal variation and an angle in<br>\r\nRelation to the sun causing seasonal formation<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>Quite simple, really.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>(v2)<br>\r\nPeople throughout history figured out the mystery<br>\r\nOf days getting shorter and the weather getting blustery<br>\r\nThey could see the pattern with the lights in the sky<br>\r\n\u201cThat means that it\u2019s a cycle and we might not all die!\u201d<br>\r\nThe shortest day became a quite important day for them<br>\r\n\u2018Cause it means that all the seasons will be starting up again<br>\r\nSo mark it with a monument like Stonehenge or Newgrange<br>\r\nBut cryptically so future generations think it\u2019s too strange<br>\r\nMany celebrations mark occasions in their way<br>\r\nLike Yule, Saturnalia, and Christmas time today<br>\r\nSo remember when you\u2019re shopping and you\u2019re eatin\u2019 and your freezin\u2019<br>\r\nAxial tilt is the reason for the season<\/p>","private":"0","comments":"<p>This was part of the batch of ridiculous Christmas suggestions I got in late 2025 which I turned into The Ridiculous Christmas EP.  This song was suggested by Mur Lafferty.  In fact, Mur sent in seven or eight suggestions, any of which could have been made into a song, such as \"I\u2019m Too Drunk to Santa,\" \"Hunting the Elf on the Shelf,\" and \"Lumberjacks Know the Meaning of Christmas.\"  But this is the one I went with.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p><strong>Mur Lafferty:<\/strong> \u201cAxial tilt is the reason for the season\u201d<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p>I was very afraid that the nerds on the internet would call me out for getting some part of the science wrong, but so far, I'm happy to say, that hasn't happened.<\/p>","ralink":"","horde":"0","lyricsprogress":"","musicprogress":"","recordingprogress":"","datecompleted":"2025-12-04","albums":"","listen":"0","fansotm":"0","demento":"0","newsong":"0","archived":"0","sotm":"0","songart":"","albumId":"33","cover":"ridiculous-christmas-ep-front.png","url":"the-ridiculous-christmas-ep"}]